I took a weaving, erratic route back to my house, climbing up and down between the lower levels of the city and winding my way through back alleys and main roads until finally I reached the safety of my street. It was now later than I would have liked to be out, and unfortunately several other residents of the apartments were about visiting, preparing for work, or returning from their shifts.
I inwardly cursed, and debated leaving again for a while until everyone cleared off, but my feet and back were now aching something fierce, and so I hurried towards my door while trying to ignore several sets of questioning eyes that followed my path. Of course I was the mysterious neighbour, and now everyone in the block knew that some random pregnant woman, who clearly did not follow the regular shift schedule, was housed alongside them.
Hall really had a way about jeopardizing whatever important plans I might have had in place at any given time.
It wasn't until I was inside, mechanically getting things ready for the evening, that I snorted in ironic amusement at the full implications of my prior thought. For Hall, in a roundabout manner, might even be blamed for jeopardizing and thusly destroying my marital life due to the unjust accusations that had arisen simply from him befriending me.
Finding myself in a rather doleful and morose mood, I decided to skip my scheduled evening reading and simply brewed myself a large mug of chamomile tea, which helped soothe my nerves a little, before I crawled in bed for an early night.
I tried in earnest to return to my original schedule the next day, especially given that my unfortunate encounter meant my excursions were at an end for the foreseeable future. Hall would no doubt be on the lookout for me, and so returning to the market, or even poking my head out the door for that matter, now had a new element of danger to it. I also felt I had done enough damage to my secretive existence simply by being seen by a few of the bunkhouse residents the night prior, and so I knew it best to keep my head down until they moved on to the next big piece of town gossip. Hopefully by then Hall would have also given up whatever search he felt some unfounded obligation to undertake, and I would be able to return out into the world…If the bairn didn't come first, that was to say.
My day was going well, despite feeling slightly achy all over - the extended walk yesterday did my body no kindness. Really I was in no condition to go out and about anyways, so a rest day was just what the doctor ordered. I was preparing an early supper after a few hours of idly writing, when a knock heralded my daily grocery delivery. Good, I was making a fresh salad to give myself a bit of a pick-me-up, and I was looking forward to fresh greens to compliment the last of the dried berries and honey I had. I rinsed my hands quickly in my wash basin and dried them as I hurried over to open the door. I tossed the towel onto my table, unlatched the door's heavy lock, and then pulled the door unceremoniously open.
My eyes, normally lowered to meet the eyes of the young delivery boy, were fixed instead at chest level on a man. I gasped and my gaze quickly darted upwards.
I might have known, but was still flabbergasted when I saw who it was.
"Hall?!" I shrieked.
"I brought your groceries." he announced proudly, holding up a bag containing my regular delivered rations.
"No! Hall!" I growled in frustration and ran a hand exasperatedly through my hair, resisting the urge to pull it out. "You really just cannot be here!" I stepped out a little further to peer around him, ensuring no one else was outside to witness us - luckily we were alone. "How in the world did you even track me down so quickly!?" I hissed, absolutely flummoxed by his presence on my doorstep so soon after our encounter.
Hall grinned and lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "It was super easy, barely an inconvenience." he replied nonchalantly. "Can I come in? This is getting heavy."
I gawked at him a moment longer, regretting tipping that little delivery urchin so much to guarantee my secrecy when he obviously was the one to have betrayed my confidence. After a moment's thought, I realized that inviting Hall inside would likely be faster than arguing with him to leave - and I really just wanted him gone from my exposed doorstep, one way or another, before anyone could see him there - so I shook my head in defeat then stepped aside so that he could enter.
He unpacked the bag for me, setting items about as if he had been over a thousand times before, totally at ease in my kitchen. I wasn't about to give him that luxury though, so I bodily shoved my way past him and picked up some of the produce.
"Lettuce and carrots?!" I questioned, brandishing the heaviest items that had been contained within the bag. "You're a real hero for carrying such a burden for me, your arms must be burning."
"There was a water jug in there too remember." he commented idly, leaning back against the table.
I smiled despite myself and quickly unpacked the rest of the items, then, wanting to delay whatever conversation Hall might have planned, I went about brewing some tea for the both of us. When we both had hot drinks in hand, Hall took a seat and indicated I do so as well. I obliged, only because I needed a rest, but didn't quite like the sense of authority he was trying to exert over me.
He took a slow drink and then set his mug down before looking at me and steepling his fingers.
"So." he said, raising his eyebrows, clearly expecting me to launch into an explanation.
I pursed my lips at him and then busied myself with a drink of my own tea. Neither of us spoke for a few moments and eventually Hall sighed and rubbed the side of his face.
"Are you going to tell me why you're here, or do I have to start asking others to do the explaining for you? I'd start with the dwarves if I thought I could restrain myself from throwing the first punch, so who then, Bard?" I rolled my eyes and scoffed. He shook his head. "No… Sigrid then." he stated with some surety, but I could see his all too clever eyes sizing me up.
To hide a look that might betray my only confidant, I set my drink down with forced delicacy and shot him a piercing look. "Hall, you can't simply force your way in here and act like you're in charge. You aren't my employer, you most certainly aren't my brother, and the way you're carrying on I'm not sure you're even my friend right now. This is MY home, and I've had about enough of people's damned interrogations to last a lifetime!"
"Home?" he repeated with a frown, all but ignoring my agitation. "Eleanor. Look around. This is not a home." He shot me a somewhat imploring look before continuing. "What happened? Why are you here? ...This can't have been your choice."
I bit the inside of my cheek and fixed my gaze on a knot on the tabletop. "I'd like you to leave." I managed to whisper.
"I am not going anywhere until you talk to me. I cannot leave here today and pretend you're not here now - it's not who I am."
I met him with a stony silence, still staring downwards lest I meet his gaze and my resolve slip, and so he continued talking.
"Just listen then. I know you've been here some time now. Based on the plants I would say since spring, which means you left the mountain shortly after your condition became too obvious for a trained eye to mistake it for anything else. I know you've been keeping to yourself, and since arriving you likely haven't even crossed your threshold - until recently, that is, because the workers in the tavern last night were gossiping about seeing you, and they never gossip about any one thing for long. That tells me you're hiding - you didn't leave of your own accord, and based on your comparing this to an interrogation I think that supports my guess. Next, anyone could tell you're living on more than you can afford. The dwarves aren't known for parting with their coin, so you can't have come with much, and no income here, so you tucked away some of what you made working at Cuthbert and Avis's tavern: tips basically. There's a lovely family of weavers living in your old safehouse, but never any sign of a break in, so you went and retrieved what you stashed there and left the door unlocked. Even still, with worn out clothes, and an empty basket at the market yesterday, I would wager you've got about a fortnight left before you're living off just what your accommodations provide. Finally, Bofur isn't with you, but you weren't openly distraught when I mentioned him. He's not dead, so that leaves only one option in my mind."
Tears welled in my eyes, and my fingernails dug hard into the edge table as I tried desperately to keep my composure.
"He was part of the reason why you left."
I felt trapped. All my careful planning that had so far kept the dwarves at bay, all my cleverness undone, laid bare in the span of a breathless few heartbeats.
"Tell me I'm wrong." he encouraged, leaning across the table towards me, his next words softer and quieter, as if he himself hoped beyond hope for some kinder explanation to my whole wretched situation. "Tell me I'm mistaken and I'll leave you in peace. I won't hinder you further unless you seek me out."
I set my jaw and closed my eyes, a few tears spilling down over my cheeks. I shook my head then finally looked up and met his eye.
"I can't involve you in this." I managed to utter, trying to keep my voice level. "It would be better if you just leave me."
"I'm already involved." he replied evenly. "Please, tell me, why exactly did you leave Erebor?"
I stared at him, and knew that I wouldn't be rid of him so easily. "Because I had to." I finally replied.
When I said no more, he placed his hands flat on the table and shook his head. "That isn't an explanation."
I stood up in a huff and tossed my hands into the air. "Fine!" I rounded on him and fixed him with a heated glare. "It was either leave or be forever exiled, and I chose to go on my own terms!"
Hall blinked then tilted his head. "They were going to banish you? On what grounds?"
I looked at him slightly more patronizingly for a moment, but then cast my eyes downwards. "Do I really have to spell it out for you? Surely you've already guessed with all your cleverness."
Hall remained silent and I grazed my hand gently over the swell of my stomach, my vision becoming somewhat blurred with fresh tears. "Dwarves and humans can't have children together." I explained in a hushed tone. "But I am with child… and they cannot accept it."
"And Bofur…?" Hall questioned somewhat hesitantly.
"Bofur was the one to condemn me in the first place." I choked, my hands balling into fists. "He cast me out."
I fell into silence, and without being pressed for further information I wasn't eager to say anymore on the subject. I looked up and saw Hall's eyes had grown dark, and in his own silence, usually so fleeting a thing, I could see him struggling to keep his composure, to keep what emotions that might dwell in that silence from bubbling out, and then, so unlike a dwarf, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and just like that he was Hall again, calculating and caring. I knew then that, come what may of this encounter, I had to protect him from all this. He could never know who they suspected to be the father.
"Will you go now…?" I asked, though I was doubting what answer I truly hoped to receive.
"You could come with me." Hall offered, an answer I was not expecting, and the image of me, obviously pregnant, disheveled, dirty, besmirching the halls of his home, seeing his family, was so asinine that at the end of such a stressful conversation I couldn't help but to let out a sardonic laugh.
"Come with me." He urged again, taking on the fatherly persona he had adopted at the start of his visit - it must have served him well as head of his family, I suspected, especially wrangling three sisters.
He was serious though, and my resolve slipped just a little. He could tell, I knew, and so he pressed further. "You can't stay here, and we both know it."
I opened my mouth to rebuke him, but he cut me off.
"Do you seriously think you're capable of having a baby, by yourself, here in this hovel?"
I frowned at him. "This isn't a hovel." I replied, feeling slightly insulted after all my efforts to spruce the place up. "And so what if it is. I'm sure women are giving birth in hovels all throughout the city."
"Those women have families, friends, caregivers, at the very least they've likely witnessed childbirth in such a setting. How many of those can you count on? The way I see it, you've got friends, you're just being too stubborn to let them help."
I fretted about clearing up our tea for a minute, my thoughts racing.
"Hall, truly, I cannot." I finally told him with some resolution. The implications of my staying with him were far too great. His reputation would be at stake without him even knowing, plus the fact that if word got back to the dwarves, they would take it as a clear-as-day admission of my guilt.
"Yes, you can. Look, I can admit that you've made yourself something here, and I admire the effort, but it's not sustainable, and now that you've been seen by your neighbours it's far from secret. Truth is, you're taking up important lodging, and now folks know it. You wouldn't know this, snug here in your borrowed bunkhouse, but there's tents pitched all along the southern wall and more spilling out along the banks of the river by the day. I have workers sleeping in all my warehouses because space is at such a premium. We're turning skilled artisans, craftsmen, even healers, out into the elements, when we could just as easily house eight right here in this very spot. Now look, we've got an empty room or two at the house, and while I dare say granny and the girls would swoon at the thought of boarding a handsome lumberjack, my mother and I would find you much more tolerable."
He took a few steps closer to me and held out a hand, a more personable gesture than I'd ever seen him do. "Please, let me help you. Come stay with us, at least for a few nights. it won't be a problem at all, and if you are in any way uncomfortable at any time you can return here without any protest from me. I'll even arrange a job for you in that case - some piecework or cooking to do from here and be picked up by a merchant or runner. So, what do you say?"
I looked at his hand then, outstretched, ready to take mine and give me the comfort and security I've secretly longed for since leaving the familiarity of Erebor.
And just like that, my fingers slid into his before the rational part of my mind could stop me.
As we walked openly together through the streets of Dale towards Hall's home, my spur of the moment resolve to join him quickly began to ebb away.
What was I thinking?
Some passersby looked towards us and I felt my nerves unravel, still Hall simply gave them a courteous nod, and we were past them just as quickly as we had approached.
People are staring. People will talk.
Bofur believed Hall was the father of my unborn child. To be seen with him now… it was, quite possibly, the worst idea imaginable.
This is a terrible plan.
I wasn't ready for more judgment. I wanted to stay invisible. I'd done nothing wrong, and yet simply being in Hall's company now made me feel inexplicably guilty.
"I can't do this." I uttered, stopping in my tracks.
"You're fine." Hall assured gently, taking my arm over his own and reaching his free hand across to keep my own hand firmly in place. "Besides, we're almost there."
If anything, the home of Hall's family was even more grand than when I had frequented it during the winter. The sandy stones of the house were rid here as well of the grime and soot of yore, and now shone warm like dark honey in the rosy light of the evening sun. Young flowering vines and shoots clung to every facet and purchase they could find, and out front beneath the grand stone walls, the flower gardens were in full bloom. A neat stone pathway stretched from the front doors out to the street, cutting through well cropped lawn that was bordered by a wrought iron fence and a gate, which was flanked by two pillars between which I now stood.
Hall opened the gate and beckoned me through. I looked at him for reassurance.
"Hall, are you sure I will be welcome?"
Hall simply nodded, and so I made my way across the yard to the doors. My host drew abreast and once again gestured me onward with his most gentlemanly manners, this time through the solid timber door which he had swung open for me. We strode into the entryway, but before we even had a chance to announce our presence, Hall's youngest sister, Mabel, peered out from over the railing at the top of the grand staircase with a broad smile.
"I knew it was you! Have you finally come to visit?!" she asked cheerily as she called up to her sisters and hurried down to greet us, only to stop short at the bottom of the stairs in shock once she caught a better look at me.
Rosalin and Adelaide were not far behind her, and they too halted midway down the stairs, and Hall's mother, Flora, emerged into the hallway further past the bottom of the stairs. Everyone was still for a moment, only the ticking of a new clock in their nearby drawing room to mark the passing of time that otherwise seemed frozen, each person silently taking in the spectacle that was me: an unkempt, poorly dressed woman who must, in their minds, have gone from rags to riches and then back to to rags again, after seeing me last at my extravagant wedding of all places. And to top it all off, I was clearly pregnant and traveling without my husband as an escort - the scandal!
Flora broke the spell first by clearing her throat and then masking her surprise beneath a polite smile, even if it seemed a little unsure. "Will you be staying for tea, dear?"
"She'll be staying quite a bit longer than that, mother." Hall stated matter-of-factly, taking my arm and guiding me up the stairs past his sisters.
Rosalin gave Adelaide a wide eyed look, and Adelaide raised her eyebrows in silent puzzled response. Adelaide mouthed 'hi' to me as I drew near, and Rosalin opened her mouth to say something to her brother, but she was unceremoniously cut off. "Sisters, I'm afraid your usual barrage of uncomfortably indirect questions will have to wait until she's settled. Find the maids and have them make ready a bath, and have Quinton meet me as soon as you spot him." Hall practically had to shout out the last request, as we moved so quickly and purposely that we were already long since through the throng and headed down a hallway off the third story landing by the time he was finished speaking, a cleverness and a kindness on his part as it gave no opportunity for anyone else to speak up to stop him.
"You don't think they'll be cross with me for barging into their home like this?" I worried as we receded from earshot.
"Nonsense." Hall said, coming to a stop in front of a shiny mahogany door and opening it up for me. "They'll likely have my head for it later, but they seem to adore you, so you should only have a small bit of explaining to do." He held out a key to me. "This is the guest room. Yours. As long as you need it."
"Thank you." I replied, trying to put the weight of my appreciation behind my words.
"I'll let you get settled in while they draw you a bath. Oh, and I'll arrange for someone to delivera your belongings tomorrow."
I nodded and then tentatively stepped inside, but before I could shut out the world Hall seemed to remember more of his duties as host.
"We take evening tea at half past eight - at least the girls and I do, Granny and our mother usually turn in early. I'll have a place set out, if you wish to join us. There will be light refreshments… oh, OH!" Hall seemed suddenly in such a fluster that I looked back at him quizzically.
"I am so sorry, you didn't even get to eat supper before I rushed you away! You must be starving." He glanced down towards my stomach, and realizing that I was also eating for two made him even more frazzled. He looked down the hallway towards the stairs, then back to me, caught up in indecision for a moment before turning to rush off, calling over his shoulder "I'll have someone bring up a plate for you right away!"
And with that I was alone.
I closed and locked the door - a fancy key lock rather than a deadbolt, and then leaned back against the wall beside the doorframe, trying to acclimatize to my sudden change in fortune. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then took in my new abode. The room was almost as big as my entire bunkhouse, but the layout was far from similar owing to the fact that the bunkhouse needed furnishings for seven other occupants, and was only part bedroom bundled up with a cloak room, kitchen, pantry and dining room. Here my bed was larger than both my cots combined, and an armoire, dresser and dressing table with a large mirror took up much of the wall opposite of it, while two windows flanked an ornate fireplace on the wall across from the door - good for keeping warm but not much else, not that I imagined I was expected to do much open fire cooking while I was here, nor much of anything for that matter. Adornments, decorations and curiosities were spread betwix the room's main features, and finally there hung a cord next to the door, no doubt attached to a bell in some far flung corner of the house which, should I have need of anything, I might simply pull and an attendant would come running.
It was more luxurious than even Erebor had offered me, and while a small part of me felt uncomfortable taking charity, a much larger part of me was in need of a good hot bath, maybe a few, as the lukewarm cloth baths I'd been making do with just didn't cut it. Besides, I couldn't deny that hiding out here would be much more effective, even with the increased risk of being seen with the very man I was thought to have broken my vows with, but I probably wouldn't be asked to leave my room much if I didn't want to.
I took my time waking about my new surroundings, inspecting the furniture for want of anything else to do. I felt lost, and honestly missing the few possessions I could call my own, indeed I was craving anything that could restore some sense of the routine that had gotten me through the last several months. The furniture was fancy - indeed fancier than even the Master of Laketown's decor, or at least less tacky, but as I passed the mirror on the vanity and caught the first full glimpse of myself that I had had in months, I stopped dead in my tracks.
I appraised myself carefully and found that my body was a stranger to me now. Turning sideways, I was almost surprised with how large I, in fact, looked, especially when I put a hand underneath my stomach, pushing my skirt in to reveal the prominent bump that commanded my gaze - and that of anyone else that saw me I was now sure as well.
I felt a pang of melancholy as I realized I had so far been mostly trying to ignore this new experience, purposefully not looking down at myself more often than not, trying to pretend not much had changed, and yet, it had changed. I now saw in stark relief how very different I looked than before, the undeniable proof that I was with child. And I was alone in my wonder of it all, which caused a sadness to suddenly weigh down my heart. I should have had a doting husband at my side, watching my belly swell with the same fascination, placing a hand upon it to feel the life he started moving within, assuring me I still looked beautiful even if it was just a white lie to make me feel better…
It was not the first time since fleeing Erebor that I felt a hatred rise in me, a hatred towards Bofur so strong that it brought the taste of bile to the back of my throat.
I took a deep breath, trying to rid myself of the sickening feeling.
But he was missing it… missing everything, and I hated him for it.
I felt my hands begin to shake as my fury coursed throughout my veins, affecting my entire body. I shut my eyes, my nails digging into my palms as I clenched my fists. I knew this kind of stress was not at all good, for myself or the bairn, and yet, I couldn't help but indulge in it sometimes. I needed those moments of weakness where I allowed myself to be the victim, to wallow in self pity and rage over my situation, and to wish ill on all those that scorned me. I tried to never dwell there too long, for it did nothing to help matters, but I felt it was only these small indulgences, dipping my toes into the abysmal madness that had manifested itself in my darkest hours after the trial, that allowed me to keep that madness from swallowing me whole.
Thankfully I was brought to attention by a polite knock on the door. It wasn't demanding, or presumptuous, or even friendly really, and therefore it came with no expectations of how I was to answer. It was just a knock, and that neutrality was what set the pieces of my mind back into order.
I opened the door to find the family's butler with a small tray of food.
"Welcome back to the house, Ma'am." The middle aged man bowed his head politely and I nodded in return.
"It was Mr. Quinton, wasn't it?" I asked, realizing that despite frequenting the house on many occasions I had never had the occasion to address the man directly, besides our initial introduction that must have occurred somewhere in the blur of my first visit, and even that had been forgotten until Hall's mention of the man as we rushed in earlier in the day.
"Quite right, though just Quinton would suit as well, Ma'am. May I bring in your meal?" he offered, and I nodded again, stepping back to allow him in. I wasn't really sure how to act, if I was being honest, but he seemed comfortable enough in his role to take the lead. He placed the tray at a table next to the bed, and then lit a few more candles to brighten the room up more. He then exited the room once more to fetch a vessel of water and a glass cup, which he placed next to the food just-so, and then just like that he was excusing himself. "If you have need of anything, please just call on us - myself or the ladies' maids will always be on hand to help. Is there anything else I can get you at present?" he asked once back in the hallway.
"No, Thank you." I stated, offering him a small smile in thanks, and when I was alone once more I closed the door, locked it and ate my hastily prepared meal of cold thin slices of fresh meat, soft light bread, smooth aged cheeses of three different varieties, and candied pears (a more elaborate and expensive meal than I had afforded myself in weeks) in bewildered silence, thinking about how quickly fortunes change.
There were few things from Erebor that I missed more than a good bath, and the luxury of a real honest-to-goodness soak was too good to pass up, even though it meant that eventually I would have to come face-to-face with the tribunal that was Hall's sisters, his mother, and most intimidating of all: his grandmother. Thankfully none of them were in attendance on this occasion, and instead I was aided by the younger ladies' maid, Gwen, who mentioned that the Senior Ladies Maid, Judith (who was also the Housekeeper) was currently tending to the family matriarchs as they readied themselves for bed.
Gwen led me down a set of narrow stairs at the other end of the hallway from which I had entered, explaining as we went that while in Gondor the ladies were used to having the bath brought to their rooms, here the house was so small (her words, not mine) that not only were they forced to share the maids between them, but that they couldn't house enough staff to manage filling tubs in all areas of the house, and thus they had to 'rough it' as it were.
We exited the stairwell on the second floor and turned immediately into a bathing room, thankfully avoiding the majority of the second floor where Granny, Flora, Rosalin and Hall all had their rooms. I could make out raised voices from somewhere further into the main house, Hall facing a jury of his peers no doubt, but before I could make out what they were saying I was whisked into the room to prepare for my bath.
Roughing it, as it turned out, translated in wealthy speak to a lavishly decorated, well lit and beautifully tiled room near the back of the house, which allowed for large windows set high in the walls. The moisture and sunlight was evidently considered a perfect growing environment by some budding arborist in the family, as the room was full of plants far better tended and more exotic than I could have grown in my poorly lit shack, even including a lemon tree tucked into one corner.
The tub was thick hammered copper, and I couldn't even fathom the weight of the thing, as it was without a doubt the largest personal bathtub I had ever seen. Scented water steaming from within beckoned me, rippling invitingly in sunlight flitting down through the windows, and it was only the presence of another in the room that kept me from unceremoniously tossing my garments asunder and diving in.
Gwen set about helping me to undress - a courtesy I hadn't much experience with beyond Méra's workshop, but one that I felt obliged to accept nonetheless. I helped where I could, but honestly the clothes I wore were so simple compared to what she must be used to that it took less than a minute to relinquish them to her care. I stood in my shift, unsure what the protocol was next, and my assistant sensed my hesitancy and coughed politely.
"I'll leave you to get settled, if it please." I nodded, but she lingered. "I've been tasked with helping to find you an outfit for this evening, but I could launder these for you, if you wish…?" she offered kindly, though I could tell from her own hesitancy that she wasn't certain it would be worth the effort, but didn't want to insult me in some way. I shook my head and smiled a begrudging smile - it wasn't even the first time in my life this had happened to me, and she was far kinder than the wood elves had been in similar circumstances.
"If it's alright with you, I think those particular items have been with me long enough. Hall promised me my effects would be brought along tomorrow, and with them some clothes that are… less run down."
Gwen nodded at my explanation and seemed relieved, I couldn't blame her. When Hall had confronted me I was wearing one of my older pairs of work clothes to avoid staining any of my other nicer garments, which were few enough in number that I valued each greatly, as such for the outfit she now held I feared that any washing would be so rough on the threadbare seams that it would fall to bits. Better to let her do with it as she saw fit, and hope that whatever they turned up for me would suit until the morning.
She pointed out soaps, shampoos, brushes and the like, as well as a soft towel and a thick bathrobe for me to use when I was finished, and then left without further preamble, and I let the last of my vestiges fall away and succumbed to the sirens song that was a deep tub, hot water, and the promise of being the most clean I had been in months.
Shortly after returning to my room, while still enjoying the soft and plush robe I had been provided, Adelaide bustled in with a large bundle of clothing draped over her arms.
"I think Gwen gathered enough different sizes here to piece something together for you. She's busying herself with preparing the tea, so I offered to bring these up, I hope you don't mind!" she announced happily, laying them out on the bed so that she could begin to sort through them. "Of course, none of us has been…well-" she hesitated and shot me a slightly embarrassed look, her eyes flitting to my midsection for only the briefest of moments before returning to inspect the garments at hand. "I'm sure we can find a few things for now at any rate, until we can get our tailoress here to measure you for new clothes."
"Oh- no, that won't be necessary." I waved my hand dismissively, already feeling like I was receiving far too much charity and attention from this family that owed me nothing.
"It's no trouble. I'm sure it would be more comfortable to have something that fits properly in your - ah - condition." Adelaide assured me in an overly chipper tone, then realized it was unwarranted and settled on a small smile instead. "Come now, stand up, let's try a few of these on."
Although I made it clear that I could dress myself, she insisted on helping, and my cheeks burned the whole time trying to accommodate my new size in hand-me-down garments from Hall's unwed and very certainly not pregnant sisters.
Finally I was deemed to have a complete enough outfit fit for the evening tea, and I had to admit that it was nice to be in crisp, clean clothing again.
"Come now," Adelaide said, holding open the door for me and smiling, "let's go down before Rosalin gets impatient, she's very particular about her tea, as I'm sure you'll remember."
I entered the drawing room, with a tad more trepidation then I cared to admit, to find Hall, Rosalin and Mabel already there, and while each seemed to be putting forth a concerted effort towards appearing to be busy with one thing or another, the elder two in some trivial conversation and Mabel doing needlework, it was clear by their immediate attention the moment I entered the room that their minds were all focused on me. Hall practically leapt out of his seat when he saw me, so quickly, in fact, that his younger sister, who was sitting with her back to the entryway, startled and pricked herself with her needle.
She too rose up, smacking Hall with her embroidery hoop in a fit of rage that I couldn't help but associate with Bifur's interaction with poor Ori way back in Rivendell, where Bofur's elder cousin had smacked the young dwarf's meal out of his hands, all over a burnt head of lettuce. The memory did a bit to ease the tension I felt, and I relaxed enough to remind myself to breathe and smile.
Rosalin coughed quietly from her seat to get their sister's attention, and then swiveled her eyes to me, causing Mabel to follow and draw in a sharp breath before offering me a shy smile and returning to her seat, paying a good deal of attention to smoothing her dress while she hid her embarrassment at her outburst.
"Honestly, you two are so embarrassing." Adelaide chastised, linking an arm around mine and guiding me over to the tray of tea and delicacies, earning her another shy look from Mabel, a defensive look from Hall, and a chastising judgment of her own impolite behaviour from Rosalin as we passed each in turn. Adelaide served, which I thanked her kindly for, and then we joined the other siblings and took our seats. Hall sat down as well once we were settled, and then, silence, as we all sipped awkwardly at the tea and each of us tried to work out how to broach the uncomfortable subject that was the circumstance of my coming to be here.
Rosalin, ever the picture of grace, and yet so bold and capable with her no nonsense approach to life, was the first to break the thick stillness that had engulfed the room.
"Well," she began, setting down her tea and looking over to me in an almost business-like fashion. "I say we just get all this uncomfortableness out of the way right now so that we don't have to tiptoe around each other."
"Rosalin-" Hall tried to cut in, but she held up a hand and turned her sharp gaze to him.
"No brother, we do need an explanation this time I'm afraid. This is our home afterall, and if she is to stay, we have every right to know the circumstances as to why. Now, tell us truly: is the child yours?" she asked so calmly and matter-of-factly that it took both Hall and myself a moment to catch up with her, yet when we did, we both burst forth a retort at nearly the same time.
"No!" I exclaimed, nearly spilling the tea out of my cup as I lurched forward slightly in my seat.
"No." Hall retorted slightly more calmly, though he had abandoned his chair. "I already told you, she simply needed help, and she's a friend. There's nothing more to it."
I set down my saucer and looked up at Hall in gratitude, yet I knew that in accepting his family's charity, they deserved more than a half formed excuse as to why I was suddenly sharing a roof with them. "Hall, it's alright." I assured him gently, before turning in my seat to better face Rosalin, though I then had to take a quick moment to organize my thoughts. "Well," I began tentatively, smoothing my hands down over the top of my skirt before locking eyes with her in order to fully convey my honest answer. "First and most importantly, this baby is not Hall's. I can absolutely promise you that."
Rosalin smirked slightly behind her teacup. "I didn't really think so." she admitted after she had taken a sip. "When we were children he wouldn't even give a girl a kiss on the cheek without first hosting a mock handfasting ceremony."
I smiled, sparing a quick glance back at Hall who mockingly shook his head and rolled his eyes. Then I cleared my throat and attempted to lay out my story in as short but satisfactory manner as possible without becoming too emotional. I tried to detach myself from what was saying, pretending I was just simply reciting some tale that had nothing whatsoever to do with myself. "The truth is, I left the mountain after coming under trial for my pregnancy… the dwarves, well, they are very set in their beliefs, and they were convinced I had broken my marital vows. The tribunal gave me a choice-"
"Wait-" Hall interrupted, "you actually went through trial for this? I thought that was a figure of speech."
I looked at him and frowned. "Yes. Dwarven traditions, they are not like our own, they are more akin to binding laws - it was quite a miracle that Bofur was allowed to marry me in the first place. King Dain proceeded over it, and I was threatened with banishment if I didn't-"
"Sorry," Hall cut in once more, "you mean to say there was an official trial, over such a private and personal affair, and with no real evidence that you'd even broken your vows?"
Rosalind straightened up, clearly unimpressed. "In all your travels, dear brother, how many dwarf-human children have you come to know? Honestly, I don't see why everyone calls you the clever one."
"How would I know? It's not like I go around asking people about their parentage off the cuff. I've met plenty of short, hairy men who could have fit the bill though." Hall countered.
"I saw a short hairy girl in Kardavan on our way from Gondor." Adelaide offered from behind her teacup, though it was so nonchalant I couldn't tell if she was trying to help Hall or mock him. I shook my head.
"No. According to the dwarves and their lore, dwarves and humans simply cannot." I stated glumly. "They would not be convinced otherwise."
"Wait… so who's child is it then?" Hall asked me speculatively, his eyebrows raised.
I shot him a dumbfounded look, one that was shared with all three of his sisters.
"Hall!" Adelaide scolded, and Mabel brandished her hoop again threateningly causing Hall to flinch.
He turned to them, hands spread out innocently. "What? I think that is the pressing question now at hand."
"It's my husband's child!" I interjected, but much louder than I had anticipated. I felt my cheeks begin to burn, though I still managed to scowl at Hall. "Of course it's Bofur's, whose else did you think it could possibly be?"
Hall mouthed the word 'oh,' then appraised me for a moment. "Oh." he uttered a tad louder before continuing in an uncharacteristically disjunct manner. "So you mean to say that… you and Bofur… that your marriage was indeed…" he shot a quick glance towards his youngest sibling, Mabel, bit his lip, looked back at me with raised eyebrows and whispered, "...real… in that sense?"
I found myself simply gaping at him, something that I was finding to be an increasingly common occurrence around Hall.
"Dear brother, what on earth are you prattling about?" Rosalin all but tutted. "Do you think she's married to a man she hasn't slept with since? That's not how it works."
"I thought it might have been strictly ceremonial." he argued with a shrug. "An arranged what-have-you to signal the union between the men of Dale and the dwarves of Erebor."
When he was met with more disbelieving expressions, he quickly added, "Well, remember too that she was appointed as ambassador shortly after the wedding."
I shook my head, a slight grin tugging at my lips despite myself. "You truly believe I would marry a dwarf just for the sake of a political strategy?"
Hall retook his seat and grabbed up his tea saucer. "I've seen stranger high-profile political strategies - even had a hand in a few back home, but I can't honestly imagine any other reason to marry a dwarf." he muttered before draining his cup.
His comment caused me to stiffen, and I glared across the room at him, pursing my lips as I bit back a snarky retort.
"Does he know where you are?" Adelaide asked, an uncharacteristically direct question likely intended to shift the focus of the conversation away from more potential conflict caused by Hall's prejudice.
I shook my head. "No." I admitted, casting my eyes down into my cup.
"…and you would prefer it stays that way." Rosalin finished my thought for me. I nodded, then looked up at them all. They could never know the whole truth, but they were co-conspirators now whether they knew it or not, and for their own good I needed them to keep my secret.
"In fact, the less people who know I am here, the better…" I looked up at them all in turn, and then furthered my plea. "I know I have no reason to expect any of you to commit to such a ruse; I've done nothing but mislead you in the past. I'll only be a burden on your family, and will never be able to repay you, but I feel I have no other choice but to seek sanctuary somewhere safe, somewhere beyond the reach of the mountain."
Each considered my request in silence for a moment, looking between each other in quiet, subtle communication before, by some by signals unseen to me, they came to a consensus.
"The dwarves have their fingers deep in the pockets of nearly every man, woman and child in this city." Hall began, "All the way up to Bard himself." He rose up and smirked then, nodding to me. "Fortunately, you've come to one of the only places in town where we don't pander to the King under the Mountain. Let them search for you til their halls have long since crumbled to dust, for all I care. While you're here with this family, they won't find you but by your say so."
Rosalin shifted slightly uncomfortable in her seat after no one immediately rallied in jubilant agreement to Hall's rousing speech. "Well, I dare say that was a bit more dramatic than necessary. We're simply deciding if it will be possible to keep her presence here hidden, not going off to war for her."
"That may be, but tell me this - am I wrong?" Hall argued, to which his sister narrowed her eyes, but then sighed and relented.
"As much as it pains me to say it, I find myself in agreement with you." She turned to me then. "If it's secrecy you need, and you truly believe those who seek you would do more harm than good for you and your child, then we will not betray your trust."
I nodded, unsure what to say to such a pledge, knowing full well I could never afford them the repayment they deserved, but determined to at least accept their charity with as little guilt as I could.
"If there's ever anything I can do…" I made to promise in return, but Mabel cut me off.
"I request the privilege of your first outing once your outfits arrive!" she chimed in, though her enthusiasm faltered slightly as everyone turned to look at her incredulously.
"Mabel, dear, we just pledged secrecy for the poor girl and you've already got a mind to promenade about the city?" Rosalin scolded, though much softer than her usual biting quips at her older siblings.
"Pianoforte then!" she ventured, this time her request aimed at me directly as her unshakable good mood carried through, unphased by her earlier mistake.
"I would be delighted." I accepted with a broad smile, and just like that I was welcomed into their lives with open arms.
Buoyed by good feelings of my encounter with the night before, I rose early the next morning, stretched and expended a good deal of time and effort to dress myself in my borrowed clothes. It was always a challenge to don such vestments alone, and being so far along in my pregnancy made it all the more difficult, but I didn't want to trouble Gwen when she had three charges under her care. Still, I felt I did a good job about it, so finally after combing and putting my hair up with borrowed hairpins I deemed myself ready to face whatever might come next.
I descended the main staircase, marveling at the smooth polished shine as my hand ran down its length, and followed the sounds of chatter to where Hall and his sisters were already gathered and breaking their fast in the drawing room. Hall rose when I entered, the very image of gentlemanly grace, and I nodded to him and the others in turn, smiling as I drifted over to a large tray with a similar assortment to what I had been given the night before, though the selection was vastly improved and it was complemented by hard boiled eggs and a pan of scones along with the large and very fancy looking pot of tea.
Quinton spared me the opportunity to break such a delicate piece of pottery by leaving his post by the room's entrance and offering to pour for me, which I thanked him for gratefully. I put some fruit and meat on a small plate along with a scone with grape jelly on top, and then settled down on a chair at the room's round table where Adelaide and Hall were still eating their own meals.
"Did you sleep well?" Adelaide asked politely, to which I nodded while finishing a bite.
"Very well, thank you, though I'll admit I'm not accustomed to such comfort. It may take some getting used to." I admitted.
"I remember the feeling all too well." Adelaide sympathized. "After a cot and the canvas walls of a pavilion for weeks coming up from Minas Tirith, the first few nights in a real, but unfamiliar bed were almost as unpleasant as being on the road."
I pried for more details on their journey, my curiosity in the geography and existing infrastructure east of Mirkwood making for a while of easy conversation while I asked prompting questions and she told tales, interrupted at times by her sisters to add a detail or correct a misremembered event.
"I almost put myself out of my misery altogether when one of our wagon axles broke and we had to replace it with a wooden one. It squeaked the whole rest of the way, no matter how much we greased it." she complained, evoking groans of agreement from Rosalin and Mabel and causing the smile that had become a permanent fixture on my lips since greeting them that morning to widen for the hundredth time.
"Oh, speaking of wagons," Hall interjected, one of the first things he said to me all morning as he seemed more comfortable to just let his sisters do the talking while he ate in relative silence. "I've sent a team to retrieve your things this morning. I hope you don't mind, for the sake of space I instructed them to condense your belongings into as few chests as they can."
"That's fine, so long as they're careful. Some of the maps and books are irreplaceable." I knew it would be unlike Hall to overlook such a detail, but felt it important. I was willing to lose even the maps, but the book of dwarven runes was special to me - after all, it was the only heritage my child was likely to get from his father's culture, that, and I felt I had puzzled out at least half of their alphabet and didn't want to give up now after such a tediously long effort ion my behalf.
"I sent the workers who moved all this pomp and circumstance across half the world." he assured me, gesturing towards the teapot for effect. "Satisfied?" I nodded, but any further comment on my part was cut short.
Hall rose to his feet again, and I realized then that our company had been joined by his grandmother. I scrambled to rise up as well, having some notion that in high society even women were expected to rise in the presence of someone of import. Hall waited as Quinton drew out her chair, and as she ambled over to it she eyed me up with shrewd, clever eyes - Hall's eyes, I realized with curiosity, though I could not bring myself to meet them for long; just like her grandson I felt she could read me at a glance - every little detail taken in in a heartbeat, and then she was seated and I relaxed a little.
"Granny, you remember Eleanor." Hall mentioned, gesturing in my direction by way of reintroduction to his grandmother. The woman looked directly at me again, and then nodded.
"She will be staying with us granny!" Mabel chimed in, and then looked to me for confirmation.
"If you will have me." I clarified, and 'Granny' narrowed her eyes to size me up for a moment before nodding again.
She turned to her tea, observing idly as she did "I suppose it's fortunate Rosalin went through a heavy spell when she came of age."
"I hardly think that's an appropriate conversation for morning tea." Rosalin herself protested, but was shot a reproachful look and fell silent. Closer to me, Mabel leaned closer to Adelaide and whispered "At least she doesn't need to wear one of granny's dresses."
"I heard that." Their grandmother scolded, stirring in a second spoonful of honey into her tea. "I daresay the young lady would have trouble squeezing into even one of my dresses, as spacious as they may be."
"Granny! You can't talk about her -" Mabel rose to the defense of my growing belly, but the awkwardness of looking over at the bump in question, the things that it implied, made her hesitant in her choice of words. "...situation like that." she settled on lamely.
I sat in the midst of all this bewildered at the conduct - their behavior was so prim and proper, straight backed and sipping tea just so, nibbling breakfast with delicate precision, and yet their words cut as deep as any barroom banter I had witnessed in all my years of working the floor, and sobriety and practiced wit made them a good deal more coherent and magnitudes more clever than the drunkards and dwarves I was used to. It was refreshing - amusing even, and I took a sip of my own tea to hide any embarrassment about my shape that I myself felt, as well as the small smile that tugged at my lips. I was truly enjoying this.
"Come now dearie," the old matriarch chided while she heavily buttered and honeyed a scone next. "Don't you forget, I wasn't born a princess like you and your sisters. I've seen my fair share of bastards, orphans and single-parents. It will take more than a pregnant woman alone in the world to shake me, and it shouldn't be such a trifle for you either - look at your cheeks burning, girl." She took a bite and chewed deliberately, but no one spoke - she clearly wasn't done with her thought, and no one dared interrupt. Finally she turned to look at me again. "How you came to be with child doesn't matter. What you do for the child after the seed sets, that's what's important, and if you're half as clever as this one says you are," she gestured at Hall, "…you'll make out just fine."
Hall rose again to greet his mother, who's entrance into the fray subdued any more heated conversation that threatened to rise up, and while I set my teacup down on its plate and moved to set it aside and stand, Flora quickly held up a hand and stayed my ascent.
"No no my dear, please don't rise on my account. Hall has told me some of what he guessed about your living conditions, and I dare say that being on your own you've done more than your fair share for a mother-to-be. Rest awhile, enjoy your tea." Her kindness was appreciated, and her words, though spoken softly, carried such weight that I knew an order from the Lady of the House when I heard one. I smiled sheepishly and thanked her.
"I am truly grateful. I don't know how I will ever repay your hospitality though." I admitted, looking at her with concern. I didn't think they would turn me out, but I had been led on by people with pretty words and clothes before, and after my experience with the dwarves I was feeling rather fragile in another position where I was dependant on the good graces of others rather than making my own way, depending only on myself.
"Nonsense." Flora shook her head with a prim smile. "We are happy to have you for as long as you can tolerate our company. I know the ladies can be uncouth at times, so I hope you'll forgive them on my behalf." She shot her daughters and then granny a look, and all looked sufficiently humbled by her gaze. I nodded to show I would, and that seemed to suit her, though then she eyed me a bit more critically. "How have you been feeling lately, dear? I know pregnancy can be difficult for some women. I was left quite bedridden for weeks on end while carrying the girls."
Slightly taken aback by her direct question about my well-being, I had to take a moment to gather my thoughts. "Um, I've been… quite well actually." I replied earnestly, suddenly realizing that many of the initial ailments that had plagued me back in Erebor had not manifested at all throughout the summer - save for one instance where I was at the market on a hotter day peering down at something for a tad too long, it seemed, for when I regained my posture my head swam so dizzyingly I feared I was on the brink of passing out. Otherwise, I had felt quite normal, even my fatigue had lessened and I no longer had any nausea at all.
"Consider yourself lucky." Flora commented with a slightly wistful smile. "I hope it continues to go smoothly for you." She then tucked into her breakfast.
She reminded me of Barís, I realized, and then a pang of guilt shot through me as my thoughts turned to the only other friend I had in this world, or at least had before my departure. She hadn't attended the trial, but that hadn't been surprising - the last trial she showed up at she ended up throwing fists, and if she found out her mother was using things she told her in confidence to condemn me, well, I honestly didn't know how she would react - I didn't know if she was still supportive of me, or if she would think me a villain, and that unknowing was the hardest thing of all.
"With your permission," Flora addressed me once again, "I would have our maid, Mrs. Fletcher, take your measurements after tea and send them to the tailoress for a new wardrobe. She's gone to run errands today and will fetch colours and patterns on her way home."
I tried to explain to her that I had more of my own clothing coming, but her striking blue eyes fixed me with a look that caused me to backpedal and accept her offer as graciously as I could. With that she smiled warmly and continued with her meal.
After breakfast was through and most of the family had trickled out of the drawing room, I approached Hall, requesting access to some paper and supplies to write a letter.
"Can you find a subtle way to deliver a note to Bard's daughter for me?" I asked after he had led me to a well equipped and rather opulent desk that was housed in a large study just down the hallway.
"That won't be a problem." he replied reassuringly, opening one of the drawers to retrieve a basket of correspondence addressed specifically to Bard, Sigrid, and even Bain. "A runner picks up the non-sensitive mail weekly and delivers it directly to their private letterboxes with all the other letters they're sent from about town. Just add yours to the pile."
I smiled as I took a seat and drew forward a blank page of paper. "She was the one to arrange my previous living quarters, but I should let her know they are free again." I offered by way of explanation.
Hall nodded thoughtfully and fetched himself another tea while I wrote a quick correspondence. I did her the courtesy of giving her a subtle clue where I was, so that she might at least know I was well and tended.
When I was nearly through, a chime rang through the house, the doorbell. I looked questioningly up at Hall.
"That should be your belongings." he commented happily. I stood up, wondering if I should go to the door to help but Hall held up a hand. "You stay, let me go check. I'll have everything sent up to your room if that is them."
I finished up my letter and while waiting for the ink to set I searched for an envelope or some wax to seal the correspondence. I found both after snooping through only a few drawers, though admittedly it was a bit of a let down as the desk was kept immaculately tidy - too tidy, almost - to be the main workplace for a man like Hall. No alluring gossip, no intrigue or subterfuge, just tools, ledgers and accounts that meant nothing to me. The most notable find, honestly, was the vastly superior quality of paper. I lingered for a few minutes longer, not wanting to be seen by anyone that might have been delivering my effects if they were still about the house, but eventually decided that more than enough time had passed to carry up a trunk or two and so I peeked my head out the door, and, seeing no one, began to wander back up to my room - thankfully the hallway and stairwell were clear, save for Gwen who nodded politely at me on my way by.
Upon entry I noticed that my possessions had indeed been delivered, for the large chest Sigrid had originally sent to me was placed at the foot of my bed, my wool blankets and pillow were stacked atop it and there were two crates as well loaded with my kitchenware and leftover candles - presumably they had wanted to leave behind the eight original trunks for new shift workers that might soon move in. I grinned as my eyes darted towards the windows, as a fair number of potted herbs now adorned the sills of them both, along with a good potion of floor space directly in front of them.
I turned as I heard a gentle knock on the door. I opened it to see Hall, who peered inside beyond my shoulder.
"Is everything accounted for?" he asked cordially.
"I believe so." I told him lightly, opening the door wide and giving him leave to enter as I walked back over to the chest and knelt in front of it. "Let me just quickly check." I added, hoping that all my smaller possessions had been packed within.
Hall filed into the room, shutting the door slightly behind him but not latching it. He meandered across to the windows and plucked a leaf from a slightly overgrown basil plant, bringing it up to his nose. I managed to divert my attention back to the task at hand and opened the lid of the chest. I was pleased to see my valuable books, map rolls and a large folder stuffed with parchment - nearly all of it written on - visible on top of what I assumed were my garments below.
"Yes, this looks like everything important." I commented happily, beginning to empty the contents onto the bed - which had been immaculately made for me while I was down at breakfast.
"They did tell me they left the rug behind," Hall remarked, still idly looking over my herb collection, "hope you don't mind, they said it was quite filthy... I can buy you a new one if you'd like."
I waved my hand. "No, no that's quite alright." I replied distractedly. There was a much nicer, more ornate rug that almost took up the entirety of the floor as it was. When I got to my clothing, I brought an armload over to the armoire and began hanging up what made sense to, while making a new pile to be tucked away into the dresser.
"Well well, what do we have here?" Hall said, his voice suddenly laced with amusement. I glanced towards where I thought he still was by the windows, only to see he was no longer there but had instead made his way over to my bedside and now held open my copy of The Corsair and the Countess. He grinned at what I was sure was mortification spreading across my face and sat down lightly on the edge of my bed. Then he began to read. "She was quite an instrument to play, so finely tuned, and if he touched her right, she made the most glorious sounds - raw, intense, delicious noises of pleasure as he plundered her with his-"
"Hall!" I shrieked, hastily cramming the dress I was still holding into the armoire before rushing towards him, meaning to snatch the book away.
He jumped up and circled out of my path, deciding to bless the room with another excerpt as he evaded me. "...the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her so close against him… Time and space had no meaning anymore. There was only her."
My cheeks were alight and I charged towards him once more. This time he allowed me to yank the book from his hands and close it with finality as I glared at him.
He held up his hands in mock defence but could not seem to keep the grin from his face. "Hey. No judgement here. I won't spoil the ending."
My eyes narrowed and my jaw dropped slightly, then I rolled my eyes at the realization that he was only teasing me further. I tutted and stormed back to my bed, placing the condemning volume back down with the others while still fighting back a stronger sense of embarrassment than I'd felt in quite some time. "It's not even mine. Not really." I stammered. "I didn't pick it out anyway, it just came in a bundle with some others when I had a few bought for me in secret."
Hall didn't respond and I couldn't bear to look at him even as I heard him approach from across the room.
"I meant what I said, truly, I would not judge you even if you said you've read it a hundred times over." he touched my shoulder lightly for a moment and I finally peered up at him, a small grin gracing my own lips.
"Not a hundred." I replied with a bit of chagrin. "Just the once… As you can see my library was rather limited, so after reading everything else many times…" I looked back down to the bed and waved my arm over my pitifully small collection. "Well, I eventually got bored and curious enough." I admitted with a shrug, feeling slightly better now that his joking was at an end.
"There are many books here you are welcome to, you know." Hall commented, casting his eyes down to my motley assortment of possessions as well. "Though if you've gotten a taste for it, I'm quite certain at least one of my sisters might have, ah, similar content hidden away in their drawers."
I laughed and shook my head. "I would be spoiled for choice even if I had just the books in your desk to read, with a whole library I doubt I'll be needing that manner of entertainment for some time."
Hall shrugged and then gestured towards the door. "Can I help with anything before I'm off?" he offered kindly, and while I didn't know where most of my effects would go, I did have a mind to clear the windows a bit, so between the two of us we shuffled plants here and there about the room and he offered to bring the largest pots down to the bathing room where they might flourish in the ample sunlight and humidity.
As he was leaving with one of the biggest plants precariously hugged in his arms, he called out from between the foliage "if you get hungry, luncheon is a bit of an informal affair - just have anyone point you to the kitchens and help yourself, otherwise I'll see you at tea - four sharp or Rosalin will have our heads!"
After a lovely tea and some time spent accompanying Mabel - mostly watching, in truth - on the pianoforte, Mrs. Fletcher had finally returned with the fabric samples. The evening promised more dreary weather as the skies had clouded over ominously over the course of the day. I listened to the storm roll in as I stood in Flora's dressing room for measurements, stripped down to my underclothes in front of a set of mirrors and self consciously comparing my pale, scarred, pregnant form to what I imagined Adelaide or Mabel might look like beneath their beautiful outfits as they, Rosalin, and their mother all chatted idly around me about this and that. Most of all, I was lamenting the layer of softness that seemed to be developing over my entire body, and while I knew much of it was my body's natural preparations for birth, my sedentary lifestyle the past few months was also to blame. Indeed, I had even set my sword aside, as it were, feeling it would become nothing more than an heirloom as I devoted myself to my new purpose of motherhood. Really, this was all just a return to normal - or so I had convinced myself - as my journey from Bree and the events subsequent had been so extremely out of the ordinary for a common woman that it was all starting to feel like a surreal dream, and even writing down my recollections as I had been all summer often had me shaking my head in disbelief at all I had truly experienced. Yet I was still a bit upset with myself for not continuing with my drills in swordplay, or at least putting myself through more of a workout instead of simply stretching every day. Mrs. Fletcher worked efficiently, though, paying my misshapen body no heed, scarred and swollen as it was. I did notice some hushed conversation from the girls, however, as she measured my shoulders and had to run the tape directly over the wrecked remains of skin that had healed less than perfectly after being pulled hastily together by Óin after the abuse I had endured at the hands of Azog the Defiler.
When the measurements were taken and I had selected a handful of colours and patterns to be sent off for dresses, the storm was shaking the house in earnest. Mabel and Adelaide left to join Granny for afternoon tea, and while Mrs. Fletcher and Flora left to plan a menu for the evening's dinner, Rosalin and the girls' ladies maid, Gwen, remained to help me back into my loaned dress once more.
When we were nearly finished, the eldest sister dismissed the servant as well, leaving us alone as she primped and preened the outfit's embellishments, though I could tell she had something on her mind as she really wasn't doing much that I couldn't have done myself.
"I know this may seem somewhat of a reversal of roles," she began as she adjusted lace along the shoulders for the second time, "…but I must hear this from you directly, for I fear Hall does not possess the skeptic nature necessary to judge you for himself, so here it is." She came up alongside me to look me right in the eyes. "What are your intentions with my brother? Are you indeed purely here on the boon of friendship Hall has extended?"
I narrowed my eyes, stiffening under her scrutiny while the edges of my lips twisted downward ever so slightly. I had endured enough false accusations to last a lifetime, and yet when I looked up to Rosalin I saw no malice behind the question as I had with some of the dwarves. In fact, there seemed to be emotion there that I rarely saw in Hall's eldest sister. I could tell she clung to the hope that I was indeed earnest, not just for my own sake, but to spare her family from a potentially cruel awakening should I prove to be false, only using Hall to achieve some ill-gotten gain. I steadied myself, straightened my shoulders purposely. Ill-natured or not, an accusation was still an accusation, and I was not about to face another meekly, not a single one.
"I should think your brother of all people would be a shrewd enough judge of character to know when a person was trying to get the better of him in a deal." I suggested, looking back into the mirrors and pulling my hair forward over my shoulder to run my fingers though it in what I hoped passed for nonchalance.
Rosalin pursed her lips, unconvinced by my roundabout defense, yet when I was not more forthcoming she left my side to retrieve a silver brush from the vanity. She held out her hand, and I relented and allowed her to guide my hair back into its natural position. She began brushing it methodically as she spoke.
"Hall is very observant when he is working…" a slight pause as she regarded me from behind, and I wondered if she wasn't considering whether or not I suspected he was something more than just a simple merchant. I raised my eyebrows at her in my reflection, and after a moment of considering her words carefully she continued, the brush resuming its task. "But his successes in that world have come at a cost. When our father died, he was still very much a boy, and early on he was wholly consumed by the work, leaving me alone to look after our sisters while our mother grieved…" She lost herself in her task then, and I wondered how many nights she did this very action for her younger siblings when their mother was mourning. I allowed her the solitude of her memories, and after a time she spoke once more, tenderly then, and still with no hint of the usual bite that her voice held. "Hall may very well be head of our house in name and official title, and we are fortunate to have him as such, but his love for his younger sisters knows no bounds. Perhaps he is overcompensating for times when he hasn't been able to be there for us, but this caring nature has had a tendency to extend to other young ladies. He has been burned by it before… but fortunately for him, it is us women who truly lead the household, in every way that counts, and we have always pulled him through." she concluded with a small, introspective smile.
When my hair all lay soft and smooth against my back, she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and met my gaze in the looking glass. "Now, you seem to have been welcomed wholly by everyone, and I will gladly do the same, but it is my job to protect my family in all the ways I can. Surely you understand?"
My eyes watered unbidden at the feeling behind her words, and I nodded in response. "Of course I do." I whispered, then I cast my eyes down, placing a hand atop the swell of my stomach. "I can only hope that someday I might share with my own family the same fierce love that you share with yours." I paused, thinking over my next words, but then simply sighed, deciding to be frank with her. "I didn't intend for anyone to find me you know - truly I didn't." I admitted plainly. "The last thing I ever wanted was to be a burden, to force my troubles on your happy lives, to risk harming your family or your reputation in any way. I hid for so long, but now all I want is the best life I can give for my child…" I drew in a shaky breath, steadying myself, and then turned to face her before continuing. "I will gladly leave if you wish it, I respect your family so highly, and I would not wish to stay if any member of your household prefers otherwise. But I do give you my word that I have no hidden intentions concerning your brother, no desire for anything more than simply being safe and surrounded by warmth and friendship; so that I might not have to fear what happens when this baby decides to make an entrance into this world." I faltered for a moment as I felt the bairn move, giving me a slight kick as it stretched about, causing me to smile slightly. "I would consider myself truly blessed to be welcome here with you all, for a time at least, but truly I understand if I must go, and I would feel no ill-will towards any of you for turning me out."
Rosalin appraised me for a minute more, and then she smiled with a genuine warmth, one which lit up her whole face, while she took up my hand and squeezed my fingers tightly.
"You are welcome here." she assured me. "For as long as you need. In fact, I must insist that you stay at least until the baby is born." Finally, she appraised me once more, and then nodded. "There now. I must admit, you wear it almost as well as I did." she added to lighten the mood, following it up with the small twist of a mirthful smirk at the corner of her lip. She then left me to my thoughts after calling back: "Dinner is at eight sharp. Mamma is pulling out all the stops, so you'd be a fool to miss it!"
True to her word, it was a veritable feast compared to my standards, and only the first of many, many happy memories to fill the summer as the season drew on.