*****NOTE: THIS IS THE SECOND CHAPTER I'VE POSTED THIS WEEK. BE SURE TO READ CHAPTER 15 (POSTED TUESDAY) FIRST!****
Also, to cover my own tail, I'm going to rate this chapter "M" for violence. Don't worry though...everything winds up fine (for everyone but the perp, that is). :)
Happy reading!
Chapter 16
Did you read Chapter 15 (posted earlier this week)?
If not, go back and read it. ;)
Okay, for real now, on to Chapter 16!
Chapter 16
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Forever yours
Faithfully
-Faithfully, Journey
I sat alone at the breakfast table the next morning before anyone else had risen, absently stirring the untouched contents of my bowl of oatmeal with a spoon. I had lain awake a good part of the night before, trying to decide what, if anything, to do about Caroline.
The sound of a chair scraping across the floor startled me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see that Will had taken a seat next to me at the table.
He eyed me warily. "You're staring into that bowl as if it holds the answers to the mysteries of the universe." The corner of his mouth pulled up into a teasing half-smile. "If that is what you're searching for, you can stop. The question has already been answered. The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, is forty-two."
Somewhere in the recesses of my tired mind, I recognized the infamous reference to Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I blinked as I tried to form a coherent response, but my brain refused to cooperate.
Will leaned forward in his chair then, his eyes narrowed in concern. "What's the matter? You look tired. Are you unwell?"
I sucked in a deep breath and forced a smile. "Nothing. I'm fine," I assured him in what I hoped was a convincing voice. "What are your plans for the day?"
I watched the now-familiar blank mask descend over his features as he stared back at me. "Do you take me for an idiot?"
My eyes widened at his change in demeanor. "No, of course not."
He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Then tell me why you look like you didn't sleep at all last night."
I shook my head. "It's nothing to worry about. I promise."
Will opened his mouth to speak again, but he was interrupted by the arrival of Georgiana.
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief and excused myself from the table, saying I had already finished and wished to go for a walk in the gardens near the house before the day became too warm. I gave Will a reassuring smile and squeezed his shoulder before I left the room and headed outdoors.
Thinking that some fresh air and a walk might help me sort out my tangled thoughts, my feet found their way to the swing in the Wildwood, and I took a seat on the wide plank.
My body relaxed as I swung out over the hillside and my mind cleared. I was confident that I could handle Caroline on my own. If there was one thing growing up in a household with four strong-willed sisters and an overly critical mother had taught me, it was how to stand up for myself and handle my own problems. Besides, I didn't want to hurt Charles. Complaining would only give Caroline more of a reason to dislike me, and I didn't want that discord to affect Jane and Charles's relationship.
She was also an asset to Will's work; he'd said as much, and I didn't wish to make things any more difficult for him in that regard. Not only that, but I was convinced that showing any sign of weakness would give her the upper hand, and to my mind, tattling like a child would definitely make me appear weak.
I didn't like admitting either that Caroline had bested me physically. Foolish on my part? Maybe. But I'd experienced worse acts of cattiness at the hands of my sisters and the mean girls at school while growing up. Not to mention the barbed arrows my mother insisted on firing at me every chance she got.
For the time being, I didn't want to take any action, at least until I'd had a chance to see if things settled down on their own. I don't know how long I sat there lost in thought, but the sun was high in the sky when I heard footsteps approaching. I glanced over my shoulder to see Richard walking toward me.
He smiled. "Mind if I join you?"
I gave him a tired smile in reply. "Sure."
He walked around the front of the swing and sat on the ground with his back resting against the trunk of the giant oak. "Is everything resolved between you and Will?"
I dropped my eyes to the packed dirt beneath my feet. "Things are going well. I think we both have a lot of learning left to do, but we're working on it."
He took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I'm glad to hear it." He stared out over the moor for a few moments before turning to face me again. "Well, I was sent to ask if you would like to join us for a game of capture the flag in the hedge maze."
Thinking that sounded like a much better idea than sitting alone with only my troubled thoughts for company, I nodded in agreement. "Sure. Is Will going to participate, too?"
Richard grinned. "He's setting up the flag in the center of the maze as we speak."
I hopped off the swing and offered him a hand up. His strong hand grasped mine, and he rose to his feet.
"Race you," he challenged.
"You're on," I laughed.
"On your mark," he began.
Before he could say get set, go, I took off through the Wildwood at a sprint.
He caught me as I exited the garden and stepped onto the wide expanse of lawn. His arms wrapped around my waist and he lifted me off the ground, spinning me around and dropping me back on my feet so that I faced the opposite direction. "That'll teach you to cheat!" he called over his shoulder.
I turned to see him racing away, toward the hedge maze on the opposite side of the lawn. I ran with all my might to catch up to him, and we arrived, out of breath, at the entrance to the maze where the rest of the group stood.
Richard was the first to catch enough breath to speak. "Where's Will?"
Georgiana looked up from her phone. "He's still in the maze. He texted me a while ago, though, and said he's on his way out."
Will stepped out of the break in the tall hedge a short time later, and his eyes immediately found mine. I smiled at him and his features lit up when he smiled back. My heart melted a little.
"Alright," Will began, turning his attention to the assembled group, "there are four entrances to the maze: one on each side. We'll divide up into three, two-person teams, and each team will use a different entrance. The first team to seize the flag at the center of the maze wins. Georgiana has volunteered to stand as judge at the center, in case of a tie. So, let's go ahead and pair off into teams."
Richard clapped me on the shoulder. "What do you say, Lizzy? Two of the fastest pairs of feet in the company, that almost guarantees a win for us."
"Sounds like a plan," I agreed, glancing up at Will. He looked disappointed. "Sorry," I mouthed.
"You owe me," he mouthed back.
I raised an eyebrow, and Will cocked his head to one side and gave me a playful wink.
Caroline stepped to Will's side, her hands clasped innocently behind her back. "I'll be your partner, Will," she offered sweetly.
Will's expression sobered, but he nodded politely to Caroline. "That leaves Jane and Charles. Alright, Caroline and I will take the north entrance, Richard and Elizabeth will take the south, and Jane and Charles will take the west entrance. When you hear the 'go' command from Georgiana, all teams will race toward the middle. On that note, everyone to your starting places."
We split up and made our ways to our respective entrances.
Richard and I reached the south entrance in a short time. I shook my head. "Poor Will."
Richard chuckled. "Oh, come on, it builds character. It's good for him to have to step out of his comfort zone every now and again."
I bit my lip. "Being saddled with Caroline as a partner isn't what I'd call a character-building exercise. It's just cruel."
Richard snickered. "I know, it's wonderful, isn't it?"
"Richard!" I exclaimed, smacking him on the arm with the back of my hand. "You are positively evil!"
He dipped into a dramatic bow. "I try."
He stood upright when Georgiana's call of "Go!" sounded from the center of the maze.
"Let's run!" With that, he grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him. The green, towering walls of the maze all looked the same to me as I followed Richard along the winding, grassy path. At one point, we hit a dead end, and, unable to stop my momentum in time, I crashed into him, sending us both tumbling into the hedge. Laughing, we picked ourselves up.
"Sorry," he apologized. "That was my fault. I should have released your hand."
I shrugged as I pulled a twig out of my hair. "No blood, no foul."
His eyes swept over me as if to assure himself that I was, indeed, uninjured. "Alright then. Let's move!"
I ran after him through the maze of twisting, green corridors. Just when I began to wonder if the labyrinth had an end, we reached the large, square open space in the center of the maze where a red flag was secured to the top of a pedestal in the middle. Will and Caroline reached the clearing shortly after us. Will raced toward the flag, his long legs eating up the distance at twice the rate mine could. I was closer, however, and so I increased my speed, lunging for it at the same instant he did. We both grasped the flagpole at the same time, but, unfortunately, we ended up colliding rather forcefully with each other in the process, knocking one another off-balance, and sending the flag flying high into the air.
As I fell to the ground, Charles reached the pedestal and grabbed the flag from where it had landed in the grass, just before Caroline reached it.
I looked over at Will who had come to sit on the ground next to me and couldn't help but smile.
"Victory is mine!" Charles exclaimed. I raised my head from where it rested on the ground in time to see him strike a triumphant pose with the flag.
Will placed a hand behind my back, assisting me into a sitting position. He kept his arm around me after I was upright. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly.
I nodded in response, brushing the grass and dirt from my arms and legs.
Caroline stood a few feet away, her arms crossed over her chest. "By accident," she scoffed. "If Lizzy hadn't thrown herself at Will, we would have won."
Charles rolled his eyes. "Caroline, get over it."
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Caroline turned her back to the group and stood, facing the hedge, her shoulders squarely set.
"Good save, Charles," Georgiana smiled. "Mrs. Reynolds has sandwiches and lemonade waiting for us back at the house if anyone is interested." She wandered toward a path that led out of the maze and disappeared.
The others gradually began to filter out as well.
When only Will and I remained, he stood and reached down to grasp my hand, pulling me up. We made our way leisurely along the paths, lined by high walls of yew, and eventually rounded a turn in the hedge that hid a small alcove with a stone bench, nestled beneath a rose-covered arbor.
When we were seated, Will took both my hands in his, turning them over to toy with my fingers. After a few moments of silence, he looked up. "You disappeared on me again this morning."
I met his clear, blue eyes with my own. "I'm just enjoying the sunshine while it lasts. I stayed in the gardens, so there wasn't any need for concern." I smiled and shrugged. "I like my walks. They give me time to think."
He nodded in understanding and brushed my cheek with his thumb. "I see. A penny for your thoughts, then?"
I sighed and closed my eyes, allowing the warmth of his hand against my skin to comfort me. With Will this close and his attention focused on me, how could I not feel safe, cared for, and loved? The feeling was indescribably comforting.
I felt his lips press lightly against my forehead, my temple, and finally, my mouth. My heart rate increased along with the intensity of his kiss.
"Elizabeth," he murmured my name against my lips. His hands moved over my shoulders and down my forearms, where his fingers closed over the fresh cuts from Caroline's nails.
I sucked in an involuntary, sharp breath as the gouges on my arm burned beneath his grip.
Will broke the kiss and eyed me with alarm. "What?"
I did my best to hide the pain from my expression as I attempted to remove my arm from his hold.
He immediately released my arm and looked down at it. "What's wrong?"
I casually laid a hand over my sleeve and shook my head. "It's nothing."
"Did I hurt you just now?" he pressed.
I opened my mouth to reply, but Will interrupted me by gently prying my hand from where it rested on my arm and pushed up my sleeve. When his eyes landed on the bloody scratch marks, his nostrils flared.
I quickly pulled my arm back and pushed my sleeve down.
"What. Happened?" he demanded in a tightly controlled voice, gently seizing my wrist and pushing my sleeve up again. When I didn't reply, he continued, "These scratch marks were inflicted by someone! Who did this?" He cursed under his breath and dropped my arm before he surged to his feet and turned away, raking his fingers through his hair.
I stood and reached up, laying my hand on his shoulder. "It was an accident. Caroline just grabbed my arm to stop me so she could talk to me last night...I'm sure she didn't mean to scratch me. Will-"
He abruptly turned to face me. "Don't, Elizabeth. Don't even try to make excuses. I sincerely doubt it was an accident or as innocent as you're attempting to make it seem. I'm going to handle this."
"Will," I began in a firm voice, "please don't. I don't want to make this situation any worse than it is."
"For the love of God, enough!" he boomed. He repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fist at his side before he took a deep breath and in a calmer voice continued, "I'm not going to stand by and let her, or anyone else for that matter, harm you."
Tears pricked my eyes and I shook my head, unable to speak around the lump in my throat. I didn't know how Caroline would react to confrontation, and I still feared that the fallout would affect not only my and Will's relationship but my sister's and Charles's as well. Not to mention how it would influence the professional aspect of his and Caroline's working relationship.
Will gave his head a vehement shake. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or threatened in my home, do you understand?"
I swallowed hard. "I don't want to drive a wedge between you and Charles, or anyone else for that matter."
Will leaned forward, his intense gaze burning into mine. "You won't. Believe me. Caroline's behavior needs to be addressed, and Charles will stand with me on this."
"I don't like feeling weak. Having others handle my problems instead of dealing with things on my own makes me feel weak," I whispered, obstinately determined to make him see my point of view.
Will cradled my face between his palms. "Elizabeth, accepting help doesn't make you weak! That's one of life's purposes – to help one another. What about all of the people you help daily as a teacher? Are you saying that those you help are weak?"
"No, of course not," I shot back, "but that's different."
Will took a deep breath. "One of the things I love about you is your independence. However, I swear, sometimes it borders on the unhealthy." Visibly calmer, he held out his hand to me. "Please come back to the house with me so we can speak with Charles."
I stared at his open hand, undecided. After a moment, I nodded and reluctantly placed my hand in his.
oooOOOooo
The conversation was awkward at best. Will did all of the talking, but my heart still squeezed uncomfortably in my chest as I sat next to Charles on the sofa in the study. Will leaned against the corner of his desk as he explained what had happened.
When Will had finished, Charles looked at me with a sorrowful expression. "Lizzy," he paused, shaking his head, "I am so sorry. I never imagined Caroline would stoop to this."
I placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "I don't blame you. And I'm really sorry it happened. I didn't mean to cause any trouble."
Charles gave me an incredulous look. "Do you really believe this is your fault? Listen, there's something you must understand. None of this is your fault. Caroline is unwell." He leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his thighs, clasping his hands together loosely. "She's bipolar, and while it's no excuse for her behavior, her naturally jealous nature isn't helped along by it. Half the time I don't think she has any control over what she says or does. She refuses to take the medication prescribed to her, and I don't know how else to help her." Charles's voice faded as he dropped his head and scrubbed a hand over his face.
I looked to Will for help.
Will crouched down in front of his friend. "Charles, you know that neither Elizabeth nor I blame you for this."
"No," I echoed, "not at all. What can we do to help?"
Charles raised his head and shook it slowly, from side to side. "I can take her to our aunt's home in Scarborough. I've had to do so once before. Since our parents died, she's the only one in our family who can break through to Caroline. She'll receive adequate support there." He turned to face me. "I am so, so sorry about all of this. I should have made her leave the first day she acted rudely toward you."
I shook my head. "You couldn't have known how my presence here would affect her."
Charles cleared his throat and straightened in his seat. "I'll have Caroline pack, and we'll leave within the hour, Will."
Will nodded and stood. "Thank you, Charles. I'd like to speak with her as well before you leave. For now, I'll make arrangements so she can continue working remotely with the outreach team as she's been doing during the past couple of weeks. The continuation of her employment with Darcy Enterprises, however, will depend upon how she conducts herself in the future. Elizabeth and I are together, and Caroline is going to have to accept that."
"Thank you, my friend," Charles returned as he stood and gave Will a one-armed embrace.
I rose from the sofa and gave Charles a hug, which he returned warmly.
"Well then, I'll be off."
"You'll return after you've taken Caroline to your aunt's, won't you?" Will asked.
Charles nodded. "Of course."
oooOOOooo
Jane had decided to accompany Charles and Caroline to Scarborough, leaving only Will, Richard, Georgiana, and me at Pemberley. The rain had resumed the day after the Bingleys' and Jane's departure and hadn't let up since.
On the afternoon of the fourth day, the four of us sat in the large drawing room overlooking the terrace, each engaged in various pursuits. Georgiana was on her phone, Richard read a newspaper, Will worked from his laptop, and I was curled up next to him on the sofa with a book. Eventually, I became aware of the silence. After four days of the sound of rain lashing against the windows, the sudden quiet was deafening.
Setting my book aside, I stood and walked to the French doors that opened to the terrace. No rain fell, but water still ran down the glass in rivulets.
I opened the door and stepped outside, taking a breath of the fresh air, and savoring the rich, spicy scent of the rain-soaked earth as I did so.
Will came out to stand beside me, his hand coming to rest on my waist. He looked up at the gray sky. "It looks like it's going to start up again," he remarked. No sooner had the words left his mouth, than fat raindrops began to fall on us. When he moved to return indoors, I laid a hand on his arm to stop him.
He turned to face me, and I smiled up at him. "Sometimes, you just have to learn to dance in the rain, Will." I took his hand in mine and placed it on my waist and then clasped his other hand, raising it into position. Will raised an eyebrow but smiled down at me and pulled me close. We danced in a slow circle as the rain increased in intensity, and he bent to rest his forehead against mine.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement in the window, next to where we stood. I turned my head to see Richard lifting the sash as Georgiana reached around him to slide her phone onto the windowsill. She tapped the phone screen before Richard pulled the blinds shut just as the opening chords of Faithfully, by Journey, of all things, began playing.
I turned back to Will and laughed, shaking my head. He released my hand and threaded his fingers through the rain-soaked hair at the nape of my neck, cradling my head in his palm. We continued to dance as the rain poured down from the sky above, and with the last, fading notes of music, Will dipped me and kissed me thoroughly.
Later that night, after I was snuggled up in my bed, I opened the Facebook app on my phone. As I scrolled through the news feed, my notification tone sounded. Georgiana had tagged me in a picture. I clicked the notification and was redirected to Will's page, where she had posted a picture of Will and me, dancing in the rain. In the photo, my arms wrapped around his shoulder and bicep, while one of his big hands cradled my head and the other spanned my back, holding me tightly to him as he lowered me into a dip and kissed me. Through the curtain of falling rain in the foreground, the blue sundress I had been wearing clung to my body, and Will's wet t-shirt was plastered to the contours of his heavily muscled arms, back, and torso.
Underneath the picture was the caption, "A person who dances with you in the rain will walk with you through life's storms. Enduring love is just that – learning to weather the storms and rejoice in the rain. When you find it, never let it go. Love you, Will and Lizzy."
Tears stung my eyes as I read Georgiana's words, and I realized for the first time how much I loved, not only Will but his family, too. "How did I get this lucky?" I whispered into the darkness.
oooOOOooo
Jane and Charles returned to Pemberley late the next evening. My sister hugged me as soon as she stepped into the entrance hall. "Hello," she whispered.
I returned the hug and took a step back to look at her. "How'd it go?"
Jane's face lit with a happy smile. "I'll tell you everything upstairs. Come up with me while I unpack."
I glanced over her shoulder, to where Charles and Will stood, deep in conversation.
Jane nodded toward the staircase. "Let's head up."
As soon as we reached her room, she shut the door and dropped her backpack on the floor with a thud.
I sat on the bed and pulled her down next to me on the mattress. "Sooo," I drawled, "How did everything go?"
Jane sighed and nodded slowly. "Surprisingly well. Caroline was fairly bitter on the way to Scarborough, but, thankfully, it's only a little over a two-hour drive. I don't think I could have stood any more of her complaining. Good riddance to bad rubbish."
"Jane!" I exclaimed in surprise. "I believe that's the most ungenerous thing I've ever heard you say!"
My sister's cheeks reddened, and she lowered her gaze to her hands, clasped in her lap. "Well, it's true." She shook her head slowly and raised her eyes to mine. "I know she can't help it Lizzy, but I can't excuse the way she treated you, and neither can Charles."
I reached out and took her hand in mine. "I hope this didn't drive a wedge between the two of you. I couldn't live with that."
Jane's expression brightened, and she squeezed my hand. "No. Not at all. Charles agrees. You have to know that he feels awful about all of this."
"It's okay," I assured her.
Jane breathed a sigh of relief.
I shook my head to clear away any lingering thoughts of Caroline and said, "So, I'll wager the past five days alone with Charles weren't all spent dealing with his sister."
She laughed softly. "No. We did some sightseeing."
"Ah! Without me?" I exclaimed. "Some wonderful sister you are!"
She gave me a withering look and tapped me on the arm. "Yes, without you. Nothing kills a romantic mood like having your younger sister tag along."
I gave an incredulous laugh. "Jane!"
"Or," she added, pausing to take a deep breath, "to interrupt a perfectly wonderful proposal." She held her left hand up to reveal a sparkling diamond ring.
My jaw dropped. "A what?" I grasped my sister's hand and examined the ring to ensure I wasn't imagining things. The light glinting off the large, round-cut solitaire proved I wasn't. I dropped Jane's hand and looked into her eyes, which were glowing with happiness. "You can't be serious!" I cried. "You've only been dating for what? A month?!"
Jane tilted her head to one side. "Come on, Lizzy," she implored, "can't you just be happy for me? I mean, it's Charles." She shrugged as if that fact alone should erase all concern.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I am happy for you," I said as I leaned forward to hug her. "I'm just surprised."
Jane gave me a squeeze before pulling away. She looked positively joyful. "Thank you. I only wish you could be as happy."
I pressed my mouth into a line and shrugged. "I am happy. A little dazed, a little confused, but I'm happy for you."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it," she laughed.
I listened as Jane talked, nonstop, about her and Charles's plans for the future. Eventually, at about eleven o'clock, a knock sounded at the door and Charles stepped into the room.
"Hello," he greeted. "I hope I'm not interrupting."
I rose and hugged him. "Congratulations. Welcome to our crazy family!"
He laughed. "Yours can't be any worse than mine."
I blinked. "I'll remind you of that comment in a year, okay?" I glanced between my sister and her fiancé. Suddenly feeling like a third wheel, I stepped around Charles and opened the door. "Well, I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you two in the morning." With that, I left the room and made my way through the corridors to my bedroom.
oooOOOooo
I didn't feel much like sleeping when I finally reached my room. Instead, I grabbed a pillow and blanket off the bed and headed out to the balcony where I snuggled down into one of the chaise lounges and stared up at the stars in the clear, black sky, while I attempted to work through my racing thoughts.
I was happy for my sister – really, I was, - after all, Charles was a great guy. But it all seemed so sudden. Uncomfortably so. Could two people really know each other well enough to build a successful, healthy marriage in such a short amount of time? I huffed in frustration. I needed to talk to Will. Surely, he would agree with me. I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket and checked the time. It was half past midnight. Hoping he was still awake, I stood up from the chaise, taking the pillow and blanket along with me into my room.
I changed into the comfortable cotton shorts and tank top that served as my pajamas and tiptoed into the hallway. I knocked on Will's door and waited for him to answer. After several moments had passed, I gave up, figuring he must be asleep, and turned back toward my room. When I heard the click of a door opening behind me, I abruptly turned and saw his tall silhouette in the darkened doorway. It was too dark to make out any of his features.
"Elizabeth?" he asked in a voice, husky with sleep.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, feeling guilty for having awakened him. "Oh. I'm sorry if I woke you. I thought you'd still be up."
He cleared his throat and opened the door wider to permit me entrance into his room. "No, it's alright. Come in."
I slipped past him through the doorway and he closed it behind me. I watched his shadowy form move to the bedside table, where he switched on a lamp. I froze as he ran a hand through his dark hair, slightly tousled from sleep. My eyes riveted to his body, traveling involuntarily over his bare shoulders, chest, and abdomen.
The sight of Will in a soaked t-shirt after his swim in the lake had been awe-inspiring. However, it was nothing compared to the sight of his perfectly toned upper body as it appeared now in the soft lamplight. His heavily muscled chest gave way to a sculpted eight-pack of abs that tapered into a perfect "V" before disappearing into the waistband of the low-slung, blue plaid pajama pants he wore.
My mouth went dry, and Caroline's comment about being in over my head with handling this much man rose to the forefront of my thoughts. He closed the distance between us and rested his hands on my arms, just above my elbows. I shivered.
"Are you alright?" he asked, sweeping my loose hair back over my shoulder with his fingers, his knuckles grazing my neck as he did so.
My eyes drifted shut and I automatically leaned into his touch.
"Hey," he whispered, stroking my cheek with his thumb.
When I opened my eyes again, the solid wall of his chest appeared directly in front of me, and I exhaled heavily. "Hm?" I murmured, unable to stop staring. "Um, fine. Just fine." Yes, yes, he most certainly was.
I closed my eyes. I needed to pull it together. I was an adult, and it wasn't like I'd never seen a shirtless man before. That said, no man, in my limited experience anyway, could compare with the one currently standing before me. Will's presence when fully clothed could be overwhelming. A half-naked Will was another thing, entirely.
I heard the soft sound of his quiet laughter. He placed a finger beneath my chin, and I opened my eyes with some reluctance to see his blue ones dancing with humor. He smiled down at me. "Sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. I don't usually wear a shirt to bed."
I swallowed around the lump that had formed in my throat. "I see that. And I'm not uncomfortable. A little dazzled, maybe," I teased, giving him a wink, "but not uncomfortable."
His hands found my waist and he pulled me against his body. I wrapped my arms around him and melted into his embrace. I rested my head against the warmth of his chest, while my fingers moved, seemingly of their own volition, over his smooth skin, tracing the shadowed contours of his back and then his abdomen. When my fingers inadvertently brushed the waistband of his pajama pants, Will's body suddenly tensed, and he abruptly seized my hands.
"Stop," he rasped.
I looked at his face in alarm. His eyes were tightly shut, and his jaw was clenched, compressing his mouth into a hard line. "I'm sorry," I began.
His eyes slowly opened and held mine with an intensity that made my heart pound. "Do not apologize," he said in a low, ragged voice. He took a deep breath and released it, his body visibly relaxing. "That just feels a little too good." His face bronzed in the dim light.
I had just made the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen blush. "Oh," I murmured, feeling my own face heat up.
His eyes darted from me to the enormous bed, before he closed them and shook his head. "Come on, let's sit down." He slid his hand to my lower back as he walked beside me to the sofa in front of the fireplace. I settled comfortably into a corner and folded my legs underneath me. Will sat next to me, angling his body toward mine.
The air in the room felt chilly without the warmth of his embrace, and I absently rubbed my hands over my arms. He pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and leaned forward to drape it around my shoulders before he settled back into the cushions.
"Thank you," I whispered.
A corner of his mouth turned up in acknowledgment.
My eyes seemed to have a mind of their own as they dipped to his torso again. I hastily redirected my attention to his face. "We need to talk."
Will's hands slid under the blanket that he'd covered me with, and he gently stroked my arms with his warm palms, raising goosebumps on my skin. "I assume this has something to do with Charles and your sister."
I nodded. "You guessed right. So, Charles told you then?"
Will nodded. "He did. Shortly after he and Jane returned. Do you disapprove?"
I bit my lip. "No, no, not at all. It's just-" I released a controlled breath through pursed lips. "I'm happy for them, and I adore Charles. It's just that it's a bit soon, don't you think?" I frowned uncertainly.
Will dropped his hands to his lap and shrugged, bringing his elbow up to rest on the back of the sofa, where he propped his head on his fisted hand. "Do relationships need to follow a schedule? Isn't it wonderful enough that two people who love one another as much as Jane and Charles do, found each other, despite living on different sides of the globe?"
I groaned. "That's not what I mean. I'm worried that Jane isn't thinking this through clearly."
Will cocked an eyebrow. "So, now we get down to the crux of the matter. What are you more afraid of? Jane getting hurt or losing control of your own life?"
My eyes cut toward him. "Excuse me?"
Will raised his head from where it rested against his fist and leaned forward, giving me a challenging look. "You heard me," he said, his voice quiet but firm. "I wonder if Jane's engagement hasn't stirred up your fear of losing control. Who is she moving too quickly for; herself, or you?"
He sure didn't sugarcoat things. I had to give him that. I ran my tongue over my lips to moisten them before I spoke, buying some time to think through my answer. Finally, I admitted, "I don't know."
He moved to close the distance between us on the sofa and stroked my cheek with his fingertips. "Jane and Charles will do just fine. Honestly, I think they will balance each other out well. Jane will be a grounding force for Charles's carefree outlook on life, and he will do everything in his power to make her happy. They truly love one another."
I raised a hand to rub my eyes. "I suppose."
Will rested his forehead against mine. "What frightens you so about relationships?"
I swallowed thickly and took an unsteady breath. "Relationships don't frighten me," I protested. "They just haven't ever worked out for me. Every time, in the end, I'm not enough. And I'm so afraid that you're going to figure that out one day and decide to call it quits."
Will drew back, his mouth curving into a slight smile. "I'm not going anywhere."
I shook my head and looked down at my hands, clasped tightly in my lap.
He brushed a tear that I didn't realize had fallen, from my cheek. "You don't think I have similar fears, Elizabeth? Because I do. I fear that one day, you'll have had enough of me and all that goes along with being in a relationship with me and leave."
I gave a humorless laugh and glanced up at him from beneath my lashes. "That's not going to happen. I could spend a lifetime with you and still not have enough of you." Afraid of what I might see in his expressive eyes, I immediately dropped mine to my hands again.
Will didn't reply. After several moments of silence, I chanced another peek up at him. His expression was solemn.
"Will?" I whispered in a hesitant voice.
His eyes narrowed, crinkling at the corners. "Do you mean that?"
I nodded slowly as I leaned forward and kissed him softly.
When I began to move back, his hands cupped my shoulders, holding me in place. "Then what has you so scared?" he asked. "Surely not me?"
I shook my head. "No, not you. Well, maybe a little, in a way. I'm afraid of what would happen – of how I would feel – if, after everything, you decided I wasn't-" Frustrated by my inability to coherently express my concerns, I exhaled heavily. "If things don't work out. I couldn't stand to give you everything and then lose you. I-I'm afraid of what I want."
"What do you want?" Will whispered.
"You," I replied, just as quietly.
"You have me." He took my hands in his and held them against the hard plane of his abdomen. He slowly guided them up, over the contours of his chest, where he held them over his heart. His pulse beat strong and warm beneath my hands. "You have me, Elizabeth. This – my heart – it's yours."
I watched speechlessly – because how is a girl supposed to reply to a line like that? - as he bent to kiss me. His mouth closed over mine before drifting to the corner of my jaw and then to my ear as he murmured, "You know, marriage has many advantages. You shouldn't be so against the idea. I envy my friend."
I pulled back and gave him a wry smile. "Oh, really? Which advantages might those be? Tax breaks?" I felt myself relax under the comforting, familiar blanket of sarcasm.
Will laughed softly. "I was thinking of other advantages like…" his voice trailed off as he drew his fingertips down my neck, and across my collarbone, bringing them to rest just above my breast, over my heart.
I took a shuddering breath.
"Like falling asleep every night next to the one you love and waking with them in your arms each morning." He leaned closer as if to kiss me, but stopped a breath away from my lips, barely grazing them with his own, gently taunting me.
My lips tingled, and, for a moment, I forgot to breathe.
Still, just a breath away from a kiss, he breathed, "Sharing life's challenges, joys, and sorrows."
My mouth parted involuntarily, and Will took advantage of it with a deep, sweeping kiss. I felt his heartbeat accelerate beneath my hands, which still rested against his chest. His palms grazed my sides and came to rest on my hips. He lifted his head and shifted his body closer to mine. "Spending the rest of your life by the side of the one person who can simultaneously love you unconditionally, bring you happiness, challenge and infuriate you, and be your closest friend." He rested his forehead against mine as his thumbs slid beneath the fabric of my shirt, drawing lazy circles against my sides, and brushing over my ribs.
A tremor wracked my body as Will's touch set my skin ablaze. I could sense that we were moving toward dangerous waters – both physically and emotionally speaking. "I'm sure it is for some," I conceded in a breathy whisper.
His grip on my waist tightened, the pressure and warmth of his hands against my sensitive skin making my heart race. "And what about you?"
I swallowed hard. "What about me what?" I returned evasively.
He placed another kiss on my lips. "What are your thoughts on the subject?"
"Of…marriage?" I stammered.
Will's eyes narrowed slightly, and he nodded once.
I took a moment to carefully consider my answer. "I think that marriage is a gift and a decision that should be considered at length, after a reasonable amount of time. It's not something that should be taken lightly or rushed into." I couldn't help but wonder toward what end his questions tended; was he trying to help me come to terms with Jane's engagement, or was he attempting to deduce how I felt about marriage for an entirely different reason? I slammed a mental door against the latter thought.
Will took my hands in his and looked down to study them, turning my palms over in his own. He nodded slowly. "I agree with you." Thankfully, he turned the conversation to other topics.
"You are tired," he commented after an hour had passed.
"No, I'm not," I denied with a slight shake of my head.
He raised his hand to cover my own, which was entangled in the brown waves of hair that fell around my shoulders. The corner of his mouth pulled up into a lopsided smile. "You can't fool me. I know you too well. Sleep will do you good." He leaned back and rested his head on a throw pillow on the opposite end of the couch. I stood and he lifted his feet onto the spot I had vacated and stretched out on his side. "Come here," he said quietly, taking my hand in his and drawing me down beside him.
I settled next to him on the couch and rested my head against his warm chest. As I lay there, contentedly listening to the steady beat of his heart, inside the safe circle of his arms, I fell off the precipice of consciousness and into the first sound sleep that I'd had in quite some time.
oooOOOooo
I was startled awake by the sound of loud knocking. I opened my eyes to see mellow sunlight pouring in through the windows. My head still rested on Will's chest, and I snuggled closer into his side, drawing the blanket that covered us, up to my chin.
The knock sounded again, and Will groaned. I shifted my head to his shoulder and tilted my face to look up at him. My eyes met his and, with a sleepy smile, he kissed my forehead. The knock sounded a third time.
"What?" Will called in an annoyed voice.
The door flew open and Georgiana bounded into the room. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw Will and me together on the couch. "Oh! I am so sorry," she exclaimed, clapping a hand over her mouth.
I bolted upright, into a sitting position, a blush heating my cheeks as I ran a hand through my tangled hair. "I, uh, I'll just go."
Will gently grasped my wrist as I stood to leave. "Please stay," he whispered, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. Turning to his sister, he asked, "What is it, Georgiana?"
A mischievous smile curved Georgiana's mouth. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was just wondering what was keeping you. It's nearly lunchtime."
Will nodded. "We'll be down shortly. Elizabeth and I were up late talking and fell asleep on the sofa."
Georgiana clasped her hands behind her back and bounced on her toes. "I see. Well, I'll leave you two to get ready then. See you both downstairs." She gave Will and me a wink before she turned to leave the room, closing the door firmly behind her.
"Ugh," I groaned, collapsing back into the sofa cushions. "That was awkward."
Will grinned. "Don't worry about it."
"What must she think of me? I'm the one who told her that it's best to take things slowly with relationships, and here she finds us sleeping together in your room! What if Mrs. Reynolds or someone else had walked in? What would they have thought?"
Will sat up beside me, taking my hands in his. "Only sleeping, fully clothed on a sofa, I might add. They wouldn't have thought anything of it. It isn't as if we were doing anything to be embarrassed of."
I rolled my eyes and laughed despite my agitation. "You are incorrigible. Do you know that? I'm being perfectly serious!"
"I know. And, all joking aside, you're correct. We can be more careful. Which is why, today, I'm calling a locksmith to fix the sitting room door."
I opened my mouth to comment but was cut off when he bent to place a chaste kiss on my lips.
He stood and pulled me up with him. "I'll meet you downstairs. Will you go for a walk with me after lunch?"
As the sting of embarrassment rapidly dissipated, I clasped my hands behind my back and stood on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his chest, just beneath his heart. "I'd love to," I replied and then turned to leave his room.
oooOOOooo
After breakfast, Will and I set out for our walk. We bypassed the gardens and headed into the tree line, taking a path I hadn't yet traversed.
"So, where are we going?" I asked after we'd been climbing the trail that led up the heavily wooded hillside for several minutes.
"To one of my favorite places here at Pemberley. It's not far, only about a fifteen-minute walk from the house. In fact, here we are," he announced, slowing his stride as we stepped out of the woods and into an open, sweeping meadow that covered the hillside.
The large, rectangular swath of open land was bordered by trees on three sides and opened to the top of the hill on the fourth. It wasn't nearly as dramatic as the falls that Georgiana had shown me or the Wildwood, but it was beautiful, and most importantly to Will, I imagined, it was peaceful. The waist-high grass bent in the gentle wind, undulating like waves on the sea.
Will stopped walking and took my hand in his. "I feel like I can breathe here. It's quiet, open, and secluded. When I feel like everything is closing in around me, I come here, and the confines of my responsibilities and obligations loosen enough that I'm able to relax." He closed his eyes. "Listen," he whispered, squeezing my hand. "Do you hear that?"
I listened closely, but only heard the rustling of the tall grass as the wind whipped through it. "The wind?"
Will nodded. "I could listen to it forever." He gestured toward a giant oak tree to the left of the path, near the edge of the meadow. "Let's unpack over there."
He set his backpack down near the base of the tree and unzipped it, withdrawing a blanket that he proceeded to spread over the ground. After we were both comfortably situated, he reached into the backpack again to pull out a book. "I thought we might read for a while."
I leaned over to glance at the title. "The Life and Adventures of Robinson Crusoe."
He held the book out to me. "Would you like to read?"
I took the book and settled back against the tree trunk before I opened to the first chapter and began to read, "'I was born in the year 1632, in the city of York, of a good family, though not of that country…'"
I could tell that Will was growing restless from sitting still by the end of the second chapter. I closed the book. "A bit restless, are we?"
He glanced up from the long stem of grass that he was twirling between his fingers. "Maybe just a bit."
"Well we can't have that," I smiled wryly.
An answering lazy smile spread across his handsome face. "Answer a question for me?"
I nodded for him to proceed.
"We host an annual summer ball here at Pemberley during the first week of August. With everything going on this summer, I forgot to tell you about it, but it's a generations-old tradition. I was wondering if you would do me the honor of accompanying me."
My eyes widened in surprise. "I'd be honored. I've never been to a ball before."
He shrugged. "Try everything once, Charles always says."
I laughed. "I don't know about everything but attending a ball with you does sound wonderful."
Will winked. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, he spoke. "May I ask one more question?"
I tilted my head thoughtfully, pretending to consider his request. "I suppose," I finally answered.
He turned to face me, leaning his shoulder against the tree trunk. "Tell me about one of your dreams."
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of the wind against my face as I considered my answer. "I want to travel the world. I have a whole list of places I'd like to see," I finally replied. I opened my eyes and glanced at him. "And you? What's your dream?"
He looked down at the stem of grass he still held and began breaking it into small pieces. "I want a family. I want to be a husband, a father, and, someday, a grandfather."
My heart thudded heavily in my chest and then plummeted to my stomach. If that was his dream, there was a good chance it wouldn't come true if he ended up with me. My expression sobered. "Will…"
He looked up, his eyes meeting mine as his brow furrowed, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a crooked smile. "What? Is that so odd?"
I shook my head. "No. I think it's wonderful." I reached up and laid my hand against his cheek. "You are wonderful. It's just…if that's your dream, being with me could ruin it for you." A lump formed in my throat.
I watched as sadness briefly entered his eyes and saw the effort it took to hide it. He absently reached out and placed his palm flat against my abdomen, just below my navel. His long fingers curled around my side, over the top of my hip. It didn't escape me that it was precisely the place where a child might someday grow...perhaps even a child of Will's. The thought brought a keen sense of hope for things that might not be possible, with it. Hope, in my experience, was a heartbreakingly cruel thing.
His eyes dropped briefly to the spot where his hand rested before he raised them to mine again. "There's more than one way to have a family. There's adoption…" his voice trailed off and he swallowed hard before he moved his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Families can also consist of only two people who love one another."
He looked away for a moment, his eyes sweeping the meadow that stretched out before us. The muscles of his jaw clenched tightly as he again swallowed whatever emotion he was struggling against. "So, tell me about all of these places you want to see," he said in a strained voice, abruptly, changing the subject.
While I was glad for the change of topic, his obvious disappointment stabbed at my heart. Since our first date, I'd known that family meant everything to him. If we stayed together, would I be selfishly denying him the possibility of having a family of his own?
Will's voice pulled me back to the present moment. "Earth to Elizabeth," he drawled, waving a hand in front of my eyes. "I asked you to tell me about the places you wish to see," he said, concern shading his voice.
"Hm?" I shook myself out of my thoughts. "Oh. Africa, first. I read Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs when I was eight, and Africa is the first place I can remember ever wanting to visit."
We continued to talk about travel – places we had been and others we both wanted to explore – and other topics throughout the afternoon. Some time later, I lay with my head in his lap, twirling a fallen leaf between my fingers. I felt Will remove the elastic band that held back my thick hair. I looked up and watched him slip the band over his wrist before he combed his fingers through my curls, fanning them out across his lap.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm trying to count the number of colors I see in your hair."
"Let me help you out there," I offered, "there's one color: brown."
"Not just brown," he said, running his hands through the thick waves. "There are shades of red, gold, black, and caramel, too. It's beautiful."
I examined his handsome face as I picked up his hand, which still rested lightly against my head, and intertwined my fingers with his. "So, where's the brooding, reclusive version of you I've heard so much about?"
Will looked down at our joined hands. "You haven't yet seen me in a large crowd during a formal occasion. I'm sure you'll meet my alter ego at the ball, in August." He grimaced and reached up to absently rub the back of his neck with his free hand. "I can stand approximately half a dozen social events a year. During a good year, that is."
I lifted my head slightly, a puzzled expression creasing my forehead. "Why is that?"
He frowned. "It's hard to describe. Crowds make me feel uncomfortable and on edge. It feels rather like there's a caged badger in my chest, frantically trying to claw its way out to freedom. I even find it difficult to breathe, sometimes. It's exhausting. One night out usually requires days of solitude afterward to recharge my social batteries." He looked stressed out just talking about it.
I reached up and rested my hand over his heart. It raced beneath my palm. "Your heart is racing."
His eyes tightened. "Is it?" Grimacing, he put his hand on his chest and rubbed the spot over his heart. He shook his head and gave a husky laugh. "Imagine how much more it races in an actual social setting if it does this when I'm only thinking of it."
A mischievous smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. "I can think of a few other ways to make your heart race."
Will's brows rose in amusement. "Oh, really? And how might you do that?"
I started to sit up, but he laid a restraining hand on my shoulder. "Shh- I heard something." Suddenly very alert, his eyes scanned the tree line and brush to our right.
My gaze followed the direction of his. I'm not sure which sound registered first to my ears – Will's grunt of surprise and pain, or the gunshot. My eyes automatically flew to his wide, shocked ones. He drew in uneven, gasping breaths as he raised a hand to the right side of his chest, just below his collarbone, near his shoulder, and placed it over the spot where a dark red stain was rapidly spreading across his gray shirt.
"Elizabeth," Will whispered in a shaky voice before his horror-filled eyes shifted to the meadow in front of us. "No!" he ground out.
Adrenaline kicked in and I abruptly sat up and turned to see a man stalking across the clearing, with a gun in hand, leveled at Will.
"You must be Elizabeth. Up, now," the man commanded, "or he dies faster." He halted when he reached Will's side. "I can make that pretty head of his explode like a watermelon." His eyes slid to Will. "You deserve it, you know. Taking away my job wasn't enough – you had to go and make me a fugitive, too. I assume it is you I have to thank for the warrant out for my arrest. I'm done allowing you to ruin my life. You've taken away my livelihood and now, my freedom! I'd say it's about time I return the favor, wouldn't you?"
A cold smile curled the man's lips. "On second thought, a slow but sure death from the wound you have just may be preferable. That way, you can watch as I have some fun with your girlfriend here, all the while knowing that you can't help her and that you're going to die, and her fear and pain will be the last thing you ever see."
"No," Will gasped as he lunged toward the man from his seated position.
Another gunshot erupted in my ear, and I turned to Will as his face contorted in agony. I looked down at his arm where blood spurted from a deep, gaping hole in his right bicep.
The man's – George Wickham, I presumed, - words and actions churned my stomach and snapped something inside of me. My vision tunneled until all I saw was the triumphant, leering face of the man who threatened Will's life.
I should have been terrified by his threats toward me; after all, he'd threatened me with my worst fear. Instead, I simply felt rage. Will had given me the strength and courage to love past that fear, and I wasn't about to let someone take him away from me. Not this way. Neither the gun Wickham held, the hopelessness of the situation, nor the fact that I only knew the basics of self-defense registered in my mind. Without thought, in one lightning-fast movement, I jumped to my feet and my fist flew forward into his mouth. He grunted in surprise, and I took the opportunity to kick him hard in the groin. He dropped to his knees and as he did, the gun flew from his fingertips, landing in the grass several feet away.
I quickly ran for the weapon, but he was on me before I could reach it, dragging me to the ground. For one panicked moment, I felt helpless as long-buried memories overwhelmed me. Suddenly, I wasn't in the meadow, but in a dimly-lit garage, being held down on a cold, concrete floor – no! The mental door that I had kept chained shut for so long, flew wide open, all the fear and humiliation of that long-ago night rocketing to the forefront of my mind.
"No!" I screamed in a last effort to stave off the panic rising in my chest. I managed to get one arm and leg free from where they were pinned beneath Wickham's body. I punched him in the side of the neck and kneed him in the groin. The latter move was difficult and mostly ineffective, considering our proximity to one another. I kept punching his neck and the side of his head until he reared back, lifting himself off me, and cocked his arm back to hit me. That gave me enough room to gain some momentum with my leg. I brought my knee up again, at the same time swinging my fist with all my might against the side of his head. He lost his balance and fell sideways, freeing me.
With my heart in my throat, I quickly scrambled away over the rough earth and sharp grass, half crawling, half running in some sort of bizarre bear crawl. His hand grasped my ankle, halting my progress, and I fell to my hands and knees. I looked over my shoulder and, using all my strength, kicked my entrapped leg back, toward his head. By a stroke of luck, my foot found its mark and he momentarily loosened his grip, allowing me to pull my ankle free of his grasp, and buying me enough time to reach the gun.
Just as my fingers closed around the grip of the weapon, I heard him scramble toward me in the grass and I whirled around on my knees to see him nearly upon me. In the space of a few heartbeats, I raised the gun and fired. A scream of pain erupted from his lips as he fell to the ground.
I rose to my feet and cautiously circled him, with the gun at the ready. Blood pooled on the ground beneath his left thigh, where the bullet had hit. He appeared to be unconscious, but his chest still rose and fell steadily. I nudged his uninjured leg a few times with the toe of my shoe. There was no response. I knew that to ensure my and Will's safety, however, I had to be sure that he was well and truly out. Working up my courage, I cautiously bent forward and brushed the edge of his eyelashes with my fingertip. His eyelids didn't flutter, indicating that he was indeed unconscious.
I breathed a sigh of relief and ran to Will, whose blood-covered body slumped lifelessly against the trunk of the tree.