Video games, beer, and fast food. What more did a woman need? Especially one with a hectic life. Francine was playing a first-person shooter while sitting in the living room recliner. The clicking of the controller and the TV sound drowned out the shouting in her headset.

"Counter-Terrorist Win!"

Francine and her teammates lost more points, costing her the top server rank.

"The fuck! Marcus, what the hell kind of playing was that man? You camp more than your dying grandmother!" Francine said.

"What, says the one that couldn't snipe the squeaker right before her! That hockey puck fucked up with your brain, monkey!" Marcus shouted.

"Says the black dude, you're gonna get us banned again!"

As Francine and Marcus continued their shouting, another player joined in.

"Man, will you all shut the fuck up? You both cost our team a win," the player said.

"What you've got to do with this? Stay the fuck out of this shield-fag!" Francine said.

And there it goes. The whole lobby goes off. Shouting and screeching erupted from all corners of the game, and players tossed insults and slurs around like a game of catch. Francine couldn't take it anymore, unplugging her headset and gently placing the controller on the coffee table. She grabs her phone and opens it.

"Hey, sweetie pie! Now, how was that game you fumbled!?" Francine rubbed the back of her neck.

"Did you throw your controller again? I can't keep buying you them.." Marcus said.

"Nope! I gently placed it on the coffee table. I'm bein' a bitch too 'cause I'm hungry."

"Do you have food at your house? We could go to a restaurant, or do you still have things to do?"

"Things," as if Francine wanted to catch up on all her missed work. Captain kept harassing her to finish signing all those photos and attend fan meet-ups. Maybe she should stop being lazy.

"Hold on, I got an idea." Francine walked to the coat rack and fumbled around the jacket pockets. "Here, you know why I got hit on the ice?"

"No, why?"

"You won't believe this. I got distracted by this dude in the crowd, and I shit you not. Somehow, this guy was there when I got out of the hospital. He gave me his number." Francine stared at the paper.

"Really? I thought that was our thing," Marcus said.

"Not anymore, my chocolate. I got someone new… an Asian dude."

"Now you're really out of left field. What does he look like?"

"Asian, kinda has hair like mine, these nice, green as fuck eyes." Francine would rub the paper, thinking of what to do with it.

"So.. you gonna do something with him?"

"He said he'll repay me since he messed up my game. Let's see if I can get some dinner from Jackie Chan!"

"Can I tag along? I need a sugar daddy too~," Marcus said.

"No, I need an actual date, not a fuck buddy. If I get kidnapped, will you save me?"

"Always, I might trip carrying you tho', 600-pound life."

"Alright, I'll call if I need you."

Francine hung up the phone and dialed the number on the paper. It started to ring.

"Hello?"

Shit, what do I say? Oh, I know!

"Is this Jackie Chan? I need someone to star in a movie I'm making." Francine tried to hold in her laughter.

"Jackie Chan..? Who is this?"

"The hockey player, the girl you gave his number to."

All Francine heard on the other line was laughing. It went on for a full minute.

"Oh–it's you, Francine. Yes, this is Jackie Chan! I'm surprised that you're calling me. Do you need something?" Zhang said.

"Uh ya, I need some food. All I have is beer and ramen," Francine said, looking in her fridge.

"I thought you were a 'famous hockey player.' Do you have a butler who makes you food?"

"No, I don't look. I just need food, that's all, nothing else."

"Sure, I can get you something to eat. What were you thinking?" Zhang said.

"Do you know where the mall is? They have a nice restaurant that I like. Bring me there," Francine said.

"Ok, what's your address?"

"10 Greenhill Ave, but you need to talk to the security at the gate when you get here. Just tell them you are here for me, alright?" Francine said.

"Ok, I'll see you," Zhang said.

Francine would then hang up the phone and sigh, closing the fridge and heading to her room. She sprayed perfume on herself and combed her hair. She returned downstairs and sat on the couch, messing around with her phone.

"Mraoww!"

"Oh, Mimi, I didn't see you there! Lemme smoosh your fat face!" Francine said.

She heard a knock on the door before Francine could play with her cat. She got up from the couch and opened the door. Zhang held a chocolate bar before her and handed it to Francine.

"Almonds? Ok, now you're stalking me." Francine said.

"Well, I heard it's your favorite kind of chocolate, plus you sounded hungry over the phone. Come on, I made a reservation for the restaurant." Zhang said.

Francine and Zhang walked down the stairs and headed towards Zhang's car. A sleek, black Mustang stood before Francine. Zhang would open the door for her. She quickly glanced in the backseat of the car before getting in.

"Do you work in a car shop by chance?" Francine asked.

"Yes, I do; why?"

"I'm just asking… My dad worked in one and was talking about a new employee…" Francine scrunched her face up while looking at Zhang.

"It looks like you found out my secret. Your dad was talking about you to me the other day, saying you were in the hospital and all. And look where it got us—me and you going to dinner!" Zhang said.

"Uh huh," Francine looked down at her phone playing Snake.

I'm going to kick dad's ass when I revisit him; this better not be his way of saying to give him grandkids.

"So, have you ever gone on a date before?" Zhang said.

"This isn't a date; it's just us getting food, but otherwise, no," Francine said.

"Right." Zhang rubbed his hand on Francine's lap, massaging and squeezing it. "Do you know what you're going to eat?"

Francine looked down to see what was happening. She was going to slap Zhang's hand but decided not to, and she didn't want to lose your meal ticket.

"I'm in the mood for fish and chips, you?" Francine said.

"Most likely just a salad. I'm not that hungry." Zhang said.

Francine nodded her head, looking in the backseat of the car again. There, she saw a work shirt and toolbox covered with oil.

"Ah, dude, you got oil all over your shit! Gross!" Francine said.

"I came straight to your house after I left work. What do you expect? For me to be wearing a nice suit and bringing you flowers?" Zhang laughed as he switched to the radio station.

That would be nice. I bet you would look fabulous in a black tuxedo, Zhang.

They would pull into the mall parking garage at the top of the garage. Zhang would leave the car, walk to the passenger side, and open the door. He would hold his hand to Francine, smiling at her.

"Now I feel like a princess, but I got myself.." Francine said. "Fuck it's cold!"

"I should've worn a jacket. Take mine." Zhang wrapped his jacket around Francine's shoulders, patting down any creases.

"Ha! What's next? You're going to get me a pretty dress and shoes. I can be a cute princess for you," Francine said.

Zhang grabbed Francine's hand and dragged her towards the restaurant, trying to hide a smile from her. They waited to talk to the hostess. Francine noticed a fish tank in the restaurant as the line moved forward.

"Hey, look, a fish tank. I thought only Asian places had those." Francine looked back to see Zhang's reaction, but he was talking to the hostess.

"Right this way!" the hostess motioned to the duo to follow her.

Francine and Zhang sat across from each other, holding up their menus. Francine scanned over the drinks menu first. Even though she couldn't get any of them, she thought about what she could get. Maybe the coffee drinks would be excellent, but Francine can't have caffeine right now. She then looked through the actual menu and spotted a combo deal. Francine turned her menu to Zhang, overshadowing his menu.

"Check this out. If we get a meal from this part of the menu, it'll be only 26 bucks. That's not a bad deal, especially with all the shopping we'll do after eating", Francine said.

"Woah, shopping? I thought this was a dinner date. You never said anything about shopping." Zhang said.

"Open your wallet to me, and maybe I'll open my legs to you~," Francine said, batting her eyelashes to Zhang.

Somebody kill me, please; why did I say that?

"Hm, alright, we can go shopping afterward," Zhang said.

Before Francine could continue the conversation, a waiter approached their table. He had a massive grin and was standing a bit closer to Francine.

Ah crap, here it comes.

"Oh wow, I can't believe it. I'm a big fan of yours! My kids and I love to watch your games," the waiter bent down to Francine's level, whispering in her ear. "Is it ok if I get an autograph afterward?"

"Oh, yeah! Is there a special message you'd like me to write or..." Francine said.

"No, just three of them, please, after you finish!" the waiter said.

"Alright…"

Once Francine and Zhang ordered their food, Francine looked at the salt shaker. She picked it up and started to grind the salt into her hand. Zhang leaned back, tilting his head to the side. Francine placed the salt shaker back in its place, looking back at Zhang.

"What… was that for?" Zhang said.

"Sometimes when I'm hungry, I eat salt," Francine said.

"Uh-huh," Zhang pushed silverware wrapped in a napkin to Francine. "That guy was a pain in the ass. Does that happen a lot?"

Francine leaned closer to Zhang, nodding, trying not to laugh. She unwrapped her straw and blew the wrapper to the other side of the table.

"Don't make a mess for the people, Francine." Zhang grabbed the wrapper, placing it at the edge of the table. "Our food is coming. Move your phone."

Francine got fish and chips, and Zhang got steak and mashed potatoes. Francine picked up her fork to grab a steak before Zhang cut it open. He grabbed his knife, stabbing it between the prongs of the fork and pushing it away. Zhang cut open the steak, a perfectly rare steak.

"You have your food, y'know," Zhang said, biting into a piece of steak.

"Well, other people's food always tastes better to me. I always have fish and chips when I go out," Francine said, trying again to steal Zhang's food.

"Are the fish and chips even good? Quit trying to steal my food!" Zhang flicked Francine's fork.

Francine rolled her eyes, bringing her fork to the fish and chips. It looked like a regular plate of fish and chips, so she bit into the fried fish.

"Not bad! Can I have more of your food if I give you some of my fish?"

Zhang cut a small piece of steak and proceeded to feed it to her; Francine did the same.

"Damn, that tastes good. Why didn't I get that?" Francine said.

They continued to eat their meal. Francine repeatedly tried to steal Zhang's food and drink, failing each time. She sighed, only finishing a small portion of her meal.

"So you got a huge meal just not to finish most of it…" Zhang sighed, finishing his steak and potatoes. He pushed his plate and glass to the edge of the table.

"I'll just bring it home!" Francine said.

The waiter returned to their table, holding the book and three small pictures of Francine tucked into the book. She was posing provocatively, lifting her jersey to expose her bra.

"Um… excuse me, when I said I would give you my autograph, it didn't mean whatever these are. Are you one of those people who sell my photos online?" Francine grabbed the book and opened it to Zhang.

"Hey, look, the virgin is gonna jerk off to me!"

"Can you just sign them? Please don't report me to the boss.." the waiter looked away.

Zhang pulled out his card and placed it in the book. Francine signed the photos but kept one of them. She put them back in the book and handed them to the waiter. After the waiter processed the bill, he returned Zhang's card with the receipt.

"Thank you so much for that!" the waiter said.

"Ya, you're welcome.." Francine said.

As Francine and Zhang walked out of the restaurant, Francine played around with her pockets.

"Do you have everything?" Zhang grabbed Francine's hand and squeezed it. "What stores would you like to go to?"

"I have everything. I have something to show you when we get to the car." Francine pulled a couple of slips of paper, looking through each one. "I have some stores in mind that we can go to. Don't worry, these coupons should help."

The duo started walking through the mall, scoping out what stores they could visit. The smell of popcorn and pretzels filled the area, and crowds of people walked past them. The fluorescent light illuminated the building, blinding Francine.

"There are two things I hate about the mall: the employees trying to give you shit and the lights.

"Why do they have to make them so bright?" Francine said.

Zhang nodded his head, giving Francine's hand another squeeze. Francine pulled Zhang along, passing all the stores until they reached the game store. Francine looked at all the collectors' items displayed behind the window, and her face lit up. She pointed at one of the items in the display case: a prominent figure of a man with his head covered in a scarf and wearing sunglasses. The figure was holding a sniper rifle, his right foot on top of a grate of explosives.

"I want this guy. He's my favorite character from the game I play… I saw him when I came here last week with one of my friends. I just didn't buy him then 'cause the figure is expensive." Francine stared into the figure's eyes. "I wish Ayman was real. He could sweep me off my feet!"

"Hmm, it seems like you want me to buy him. You don't have to be so round about it. Maybe it'll help you stop having those weird fantasies." Zhang said.

"Well, in that case, buy it for me! I can pay you back if you want, plus check this out!" Francine pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. "They gave me this coupon the last time I came in, but I don't want to go in there…"

"Why's that?"

"I feel like someone's gonna harass me again, either for an autograph, photo, or some other bullshit."

Zhang grabbed the coupon from Francine; walking into the store, he spotted one of the employees stocking the shelves. Francine looked through the window to see if Zhang was buying the figure.

Score! Another one for my shrine!

Zhang walked out of the store, holding the figure, and handed it to Francine.

"Here, you know that coupon helped out a ton. It went from $60 to just $20." Zhang smiled while patting Francine's shoulder.

"Ha! Couponing master coming through." Francine waved her hands in the air while doing a small dance.

"Alright, alright… what store now?"

"Hmm, you pick."

And off the duo went, visiting nearly all the stores in the mall. Though Zhang didn't buy anything, he was happy to buy Francine anything she wanted- clothes or small knickknacks—anything for a cute lady like herself. They walked back to the car, and Zhang opened the trunk.

"You sure all of my crap will fit in here? Your car isn't that small, but it ain't like my Wrangler." Francine tried her best to balance the shopping bags in her hands.

"Don't worry, I'll just fold the seats down."

Zhang did just that, grabbing Francine's bags and neatly placing them in the back. Francine circled the car, opening the passenger-side door.

"Come on, it's getting a little too chilly even for my liking out here."

They both got into the car, and Zhang started the ignition.

"I've got to say that was the most fun I've had in a while," Zhang said.

Francine opened the heating a little bit. "Let me guess, you've been working a ton? It must suck working in the shop sometimes; I know my dad can be a pain in the ass about certain shit."

"Ah well, he's still a good guy; besides, he pays me pretty well."

"Damn straight! You better put some respect on him!"

They laughed in unison. Francine tapped on the center console, listening to the radio; her ears picked up on something.

"I kinda miss going to the beach… all the waves and shit."

"Did you do anything cool at the beach?"

"I can't swim, but that never stopped me from going into the water with my family or friends. Sometimes, I would bring my bucket into the water, then pop." Francine motioned with her hands, something coming out of the ground. "I would grab all the clams in the sand and put them into my bucket."

"If I go to the beach.. I'll burn.."

"Hm."

They stayed silent during the car ride, spacing in and out. Zhang pulled up to the gate, driving into the gated community. They stopped in front of the Francine's house.

"Well, we're here," Zhang said.

"Yep!"

…

"Umm, you want to come inside my house? I can't bring all this stuff by myself."

Zhang exited the car and walked to the passenger side, where he grabbed all the bags from the back. They walked up to the house, and Francine opened the front door.

Mrraoww!

"Aww, Mimi, come here. I want you to meet someone." Francine picked up the chubby tabby cat, holding it like a sandwich. The cat squirmed slightly, trying to get away from Zhang.

"Aha, I don't think she likes me." Zhang tried to pet Mimi.

Moww! The cat fell to the ground with a hard thud.

"Mimi! Hey, stop being an idiot! I'm sorry. Normally, she doesn't do that… but umm, here! Come sit on the couch, and I'll make you something—" Francine held her stomach while leading Zhang to the couch.

"Are you ok?"

"Aah.. nah man, I gotta go–" grumble. "Use the bathroom. I think that fish and chips are fucking me–" grumble. "Up–"

Francine sprints to the bathroom, slamming the door. Rustling could be heard from inside.

Zhang got up from the couch and explored the living room.

"Beer?" He picked up the bottle and examined the bottle. "The cheap stuff too… not that surprising…" He looked at the coffee table again and picked up some CD cases.

"Video game, another video game…" Flipping through the cases, one of them catches Zhang's eye. "This kid, why would you have a porno right out in the open?" A young woman on the front cover was holding a beach ball, with "Hot Babes at the Beach!" written in bold red letters on the front.

Zhang opened the drawer of the coffee table; there were more porn movies and magazines in the drawer. He slammed it shut, sitting back on the couch and taking sips of the beer. He started to hear the pitter-patter of the cat coming close to him.

Mroawww!

"Hey, now you like me? Come here." Zhang patted the seat next to him; Mimi lept up, rubbing her head against his thigh. "I guess so…"

While Zhang was petting Mimi, she began to search his pocket. She bit down on his gloves and ran out of the room.

"What the–get back here!"

Zhang ran after the cat, trying to catch up to her, but the cat jumped and just got out of his reach. Mimi ran upstairs into Francine's room.

Francine looked up from the magazine she was reading. "Hmm?" She looked around and shrugged her shoulders.

"Come back here! I don't want to go into your owner's room!" Zhang said.

Mrow~ Mimi dropped the gloves on Francine's bed, licking herself with a smug look on her little face.

Zhang walked into the room. He tried to grab the gloves from the cat, but they were useless; Mimi kept hitting Zhang. Zhang sighed and turned away from her, looking around the room to see if anything was interesting to do. Signed autographs and posters of Francine littered the walls, with more giant posters of Francine posing in more suggestive images. The desk in the room had small pieces of plastic from a Mecha model kit littered all over it.

"Who has so many photos of themselves, alone, hanging all over their room?"

Meow!

"I agree, Mimi, it's weird…" Zhang walked to the drawer next to the bed and picked up one of the framed photos.

A young girl and a squatting older man were in the photo; the girl was holding a hockey puck. She had a black eye, but she was still smiling. Zhang returned the picture to the dresser, ensuring he didn't leave any traces behind. A wooden hockey stick leaned against the dresser; it was warped and had some splits around the edges.

"Alright, I left you alone. Now give me my gloves back.." Zhang held his hand to Mimi; she stretched out her tiny paws. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Zhang? Where are you?"

"Um, I'm coming. Hang on!" He walked straight down the stairs.

"Why were you upstairs…? I didn't tell you to go upstairs."

"I didn't mean to go up there. Your cat took my gloves."

Mew, mew…

"Mimi! Say sorry to Zhang." Francine picked her up, pointing the cat's face to Zhang. "Meow, I'm sorry!"

Zhang chuckled; he rubbed behind the cat's ear. He looked up at Francine.

"I'm a little thirsty. I took some of the beer on the table, but I need something else…"

"Oh, sure. Is there anything you want specifically?"

Zhang walked away, plopping back down onto the couch.

"Surprise me!"

"Ok." Francine busted out two glasses and poured some iced decaf coffee. She carried the glasses into the living room and placed them on coasters.

"Iced coffee! I know it's late, but there's caffeine in it."

Zhang snickered and started drinking coffee. Francine grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV. Suddenly, a moaning and naked woman appeared on screen.

"OH WOAH LET'S TURN THAT OFF!" Francine fumbled with the remote, and eventually, she paused the porno. She walked over to the DVD player and popped the disk out of the tray.

"Ok… let's just watch some regular TV." She sat down on the couch, flipping through the channels she chose a cooking show.

"Sorry about that…"

"It's alright; you're young, so I'm not surprised…" Zhang smiled, placing his hand on Francine's lap.

Francine picked up her glass and took a few small sips. Her face and ears were red, so the coffee might have helped her calm down.

Over the next 20 minutes, Francine began to feel weird; at first, it was just a tiny amount of brain fog, but it grew more and more. She got up from the couch and walked to the cabinet; searching through all the bottles, she found her headache medication.

"Are you all right?" Zhang looked over and saw Francine leaning over the kitchen counter. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I think my migraines are coming back…" She looked at Zhang; he had a broad smile on his face.

"What… did you… d–" Francine fell, hitting her head on the counter, the medication spilling all over the floor.

Zhang jumped off the couch and looked at Francine. He pushed her with his foot, but she did not respond. He lifted one of her arms, but again, she did not respond. He snickered and moved her body to the living room.

"Now that's done, hmm…" Zhang returned upstairs and grabbed the wooden hockey stick, her gear, skates, and jersey. He hauled Francine onto his shoulder.

"By the Elder Gods, how are you so heavy?" He rubbed his hands together, and a dark green energy emerged. He held his hands out, and a portal appeared. He began to walk toward the portal.

"We may have to put you on a strict diet regiment."

Zhang walked through the portal, looking back to ensure he didn't leave anything behind. The portal closed right after we went through.

Mrow? Mimi jumped onto the couch, curled up into a ball, and fell asleep.

Complete silence filled the home.