Callie came to the bar in an attempt to forget Arizona. Every time she was sure Arizona wouldn't be there, she sought refuge in the only place she knew could relieve her pain, at least for a while. She had tried to move on, but each morning, the weight of that decision made her feel worse; at least it got her through the nights until dawn came. The nights were the hardest, filled with thoughts of what Arizona was doing, which pushed her closer to the edge of darkness. She hoped that one day she would finally move past the feeling of being broken. One thing was for certain, was envious of Arizona's girlfriend.
She could have had that with Arizona, but her own actions had been misguided, dismissing Arizona as if she didn't matter. Now, every night, Callie returned to the same lesbian bar, picking out a girl to lose herself with, often fucking them senseless. Sometimes, when the pain felt especially unbearable, she was twisted enough to call them by Arizona's name.
She certainly had a type; only picked out those that were around 5'5", with dark blonde hair and blue eyes; dimples were always a bonus. Those were rare, but she relished the challenge, and occasionally, the conquest felt worth it, until it was over and left her feeling empty.
Today was no different, but perhaps even worse. Earlier, while at Arizona's house, Callie had passed by Arizona's slightly ajar bedroom. To her shock, she caught a glimpse of Amelia on her knees, a ring prominently displayed in her hands.
Callie lingered longer than intended, confirming that it wasn't just a figment of her imagination. There was Arizona, shaking her head in disbelief, tears streaming down her cheeks. Callie's heart raced as she watched Arizona mimic Amelia's kneeling pose in a moment that nearly shattered her.
Now, Arizona had everything she ever wanted, and now, Callie couldn't help but feel like a creep, sleeping with people who looked like her best friend, her now-engaged best friend.
Today's drinking session kicked off as early as 11 a.m., the moment she left Arizona's house. Callie regretted sleeping over; after a night of partying, she had succumbed to exhaustion and ended up crashing at Arizona's place.
When she finally woke and began to roam around, the sight before her only deepened her regrets, a stark reminder of why she was slowly spiraling into alcoholism. Without a second thought, she called a cab and headed back to the bar.
Now, nine hours later, she had hooked up with three Arizona look-alikes or as close as they could get, in the bathroom stalls. But the void inside her remained unfilled. The last girl had been particularly unfortunate; Callie hadn't held back at all, hadn't been gentle; as if she were punishing her for being a painful reminder of what she had lost.
Drunk off her ass, slumped at the bar counter, searching for her next target when she spotted Arizona on Amelia's lap. Of all places, they had to choose a damn bar to celebrate their engagement and rub it in her face. Great. Why couldn't they just opt for a fancy restaurant or stay in like normal people? No, they had to come to a lesbian bar, right here, right now. That thought bitterly twisted in her gut.
Determined to slip away unnoticed, Callie made up her mind to leave quietly. But when Arizona turned her way, she froze. Her legs unable to move, making an escape impossible. She was far from ready for this confrontation; there was no way she could pretend to be happy for them when everything inside her was crumbling. Yet the thought of hurting Arizona, especially now that they were starting to mend things, was unbearable.
So she stood there, motionless, until the haze began to lift just enough for her to summon a smile, though it felt forced and hollow. As she looked again, it hit her: it wasn't Arizona after all. Callie nearly choked on her drink, the realization swirling in her mind. Before she fully registered what she was doing, she found herself across the crowded bar, standing beside Amelia and pulling off the girl who had been sitting on her lap.
Guess Callie wasn't the only one with a type. No wonder she almost mistook the not so pretty girl for Arizona, she thought, bitterness twisting in her gut. Without thinking, she yanked Amelia off the couch by her shirt lapels and slammed her against the wall, fury boiling over. Why the hell would she cheat on Arizona? Perfect Arizona, who loved her so dearly.
"How dare you?" Callie shouted, her voice cutting through the crowd and drawing every eye in the bar. "She loves you, and you're slutting around! What more do you fucking want, Amy? You've got the best!"
"Callie, get the fuck off me; you're choking me!" Amelia gasped, struggling for breath. "I don't want to cause a scene!"
Seeing red, Callie raised her fist, ready to strike when suddenly, a sharp blow connected with her jaw. The world around her blurred, and she crumpled, the last thing she remembered was the startled faces around her fading into darkness.
Callie jolted awake, pain radiating through her body. Her head throbbed like a hammer, and her jaw felt as if it had been seared. A beautiful, melancholic melody drifted through the haze, and she hoped it wasn't just in her head. As the notes became clearer, she opened her eyes and turned head to the source of the sound: Arizona was at the piano, lost in her own world.
It dawned on Callie that she was stretched out on a couch, and as she glanced around, the familiarity of the space hit her, she was back at Arizona's place, she slept here, again. How the hell had she ended up here? Arizona's focus on her playing pulled Callie from the depths of her confusion. The melody was foreign; it must have been something new. Callie had always kept up with all of Arizona's music. She knew it by heart.
With a groan, Callie pushed herself up from the couch. At the sound of movement, Arizona abruptly halted her playing and turned to look at her. First, relief washed over her features, a flicker that almost made Callie smile but it was quickly replaced by disgust. Without a word, Arizona stood and strode upstairs.
Unable to contain herself, Callie followed her, stumbling through the living room and up the stairs. Each step sent fresh waves of nausea crashing into her, her head spinning and coordination faltering under the weight of her hangover.
"Callie, I'm not in the mood right now. Just leave me alone," Arizona snapped, her voice laced with frustration as she tried to brush her off.
Confusion clouded Callie's mind. "How am I here?"
"You were drunk, as always," Arizona replied, her light blue eyes darkening with anger. "Amelia brought you."
Callie's heart raced as memories flooded back. "Where is she? Where the hell is Amelia?" The rush of the previous night hit her like a tidal wave, and she instinctively clenched her fists at her sides.
"Asshole," Arizona blurted, shoving Callie's shoulder with enough force to startle her. "She fucking saved you at that bar and brought you here, and the first thing you want to do is hit her? Classy, Callie. Real classy." Her voice trembled, tears spilling down her cheeks as frustration mingled with hurt. What was wrong with Callie? Arizona had her own struggles; she didn't have the capacity to deal with Callie's meltdown right now.
"But… " Callie started, desperately trying to find the right words.
"No, Callie. Just leave me the fuck alone," Arizona interjected harshly. The sharpness in her voice carried a weight that silenced Callie. It was rare for Arizona to curse or raise her voice simultaneously. The fact that she was doing both now signaled how serious the situation was.
Callie hesitated, the panic rising within her, but she recognized the resolve in Arizona's expression. She had to give her space, even if it felt like a gaping pit was forming between them.
Feeling utterly defeated, Callie made her way downstairs. It struck her like a punch to the gut. Arizona was in denial; her love for Amelia blinded her to the reality that Amelia was a lying cheating jerk. Maybe pretending for Arizona's sake would be the path of least resistance, the easiest way to avoid further conflict.
As she reached the kitchen, her eyes landed on a bottle of Tylenol placed on the kitchen counter. For a moment, she considered ignoring it, the pain throbbed mercilessly. But then it hit her that Arizona had thought of her enough to leave the pills out, a small gesture of care that warmed Callie's heart even amidst the tension. With a resigned sigh, she swallowed a pill, grateful for the comfort it might bring. Arizona had always had a way of reminding her to take care of herself, to pay attention to the little things. How had she been so blind to that?
Sinking into a chair, Callie picked up her phone to call a cab. But then something shifted within her. She had lost Arizona before, and she couldn't allow that to happen again. She was going to be selfish, she loved Arizona fiercely, and if it meant taking whatever scraps of affection she could get, even if it felt dirty, then so be it. Amelia was hurting Arizona, and Callie wouldn't allow it to continue. She was not going to stand on the sidelines, she needed to protect the woman she loved, no matter the cost.
With renewed determination, she put the phone back down and climbed back upstairs, ready to confront what awaited her.