Kuro: Well here's more haha

alexbou: I know, it makes me sad too (っ´ω｀c), but I'm going to be starting the second draft after, and it's very similar to this, just with a lot more heartache, mystery, and insanity. (Thanks for liking the story btw haha)

Ninja: Well, my policy for making that sweet relief is to first put my characters through the absolute worst hell in order to make it feel even better haha. Beau deserves it, it'll happen soon.

Whitefang: Thank you so much! When I read L&D for the first time (and the second, and third), Beau just had so much potential that I didn't get to see in the book. so I thought I'd write it.

GoldenGirl: Well, I will definitely keep you in mind if I ever need that friend haha. Thank you so much for reading!

Authors Note:

By the way, I'm so sorry for being late with this one gang. It's been a really hectic week for me, and I lost track of time! Sorry!

My feet had carried me effortlessly through the forest, guiding me to where I needed to go without any conscious effort. I'd been running for about thirty minutes… I think. Time blurred as I concentrated on the fire coursing through me. I felt like I was burning alive. Every part of me ached and screamed with pain as I pushed myself further and further away from her.

Every ounce of my willpower fought against the urge to turn back and run to her. The promise of relief beckoned like a siren, more enticing than anything I'd ever known because that was what my angel was… she was a relief. She was a cure for every ache inside me. She was my heaven.

And it hurt to be running at all, but it was easy to resist, understanding that the sweetness of that moment would only deepen the ache when she inevitably slipped away from me. It would make my hell right, so much worse, and I kept running, knowing that I wouldn't survive if she did that.

So, I had to keep going; if not for my own sake, then for my family, who were probably already torn up about me just running away - disappearing without any warning, and going who knows where.

I could add it to the list of things to say sorry for.

I could hear voices in my head—new ones… well, I say new…, but it was more like familiar voices that I finally couldn't ignore. All of them were screaming at me, making me face the truths I'd been trying to avoid for the past year. I'm guessing because the hallucination of my angel was gone. She hadn't shown up yet, and this is usually when she did.

Idiotioc lunatic! Stupid, selfish moron! You knew! You knew what this would do to you, and you did it anyway! You irresponsible piece of filth! Think about what it's gonna do to your mother, and Charlie when you go back as a ghost pretending to be alive!

I snarled, my throat tightening as I shook my head violently, trying to shake off the harsh truths. No, it doesn't have to end this way. I knew I could push through this—I faced the pain before, and I could do it again. The fire within me twisted, mixing with despair, but I refused to succumb to it. I clenched my fists, fighting back the whimpers that threatened to escape.

Except last time, you knew that she wasn't gonna be coming back! You weren't accepting the pain, you were accepting the fact that you were broken! Because that's what you are - you are a broken, listless, little nobody!

You went and played hero for a girl who doesn't love you back, you pathetic waste of space!

"Shut up," I hissed at the monster trying to slither into my soul. I could feel it creeping in—the aching need to shut down, to close my eyes and let the world carry on without me. It was the closest I could get to death without breaking my promise. But I couldn't give in; I wouldn't allow that darkness to claim me. I had fought too hard to let it win now. I took a deep breath, steeling myself against the encroaching shadows, determined to stand my ground.

Even if it hurts like hell.

Coward! Always running from your problems! Always letting others fight the battles you should've faced yourself!

Since the beginning, you've done nothing but let others risk their lives for you. You let that hunter come too close to ending your life, putting your precious angel in danger. All this time, you've let the wolves fend off Victor while you stood back, not once lifting a finger to help!

And don't kid yourself into thinking your latest screw-up was an act of bravery—it was all about saving your own skin. You knew if she died, you wouldn't be far behind! And that's why you're running now! You can't face the consequences of your selfishness!

"Shut up!" I snarled, my voice echoing with an edge of desperation as I leaped over a fallen tree. I landed with a fluid grace on the grass, barely breaking my stride. But as I continued to run, my jaw tightened and my hands trembled with an intensity I had never felt before.

Because I couldn't escape the truth in those voices… those haunting, relentless screams. They were right. I was a coward, a fool, a worthless mess. Every cruel word cut deeper than the physical strain, gnawing at me with a pain that rivaled the ache of being so far from Edythe. The distance between us felt unbearable, but the sting of self-loathing was even sharper, searing through me with a cruel clarity that it was what she wanted.

I was running because I knew I wasn't enough for her. I wasn't brave, smart, interesting, or selfless—none of the qualities she deserved in a partner.

Every step felt like a retreat from the truth I couldn't escape: I was not the person she needed or wanted. I was a burden. Nothing more than a stain on everyone's lives. And it just caused the burning to become worse.

You're completely right… hmm, let's break it down, shall we? Let's start with the obvious.

Charlie. What have you given that man other than grief and worry? Constantly disappearing, and abandoning him - you know he has heart issues! You could probably hear it slowing down bit by bit as you kill him a little more with each sudden disappearance!

"Shut! Up!" I screamed, ramming my fist through a tree as I flew by it - sending it careening into its neighbors.

Why? Does the truth hurt Beau? Do you not want to hear about the hearts you keep breaking? Oh! Speaking of broken hearts - Jules! That poor girl has no idea what kind of monster you are! She thinks the most she has to worry about is you being a vampire, when in reality, it's the human side of you - the part of you that desperately needs connection that'll hurt her the most! And you purposefully, and willingly allow her to fall in love with you, just so you can keep her around!

I came to an abrupt stop, screaming as my fist clobbered through another tree. "I didn't mean to! Okay?! I didn't mean to lead her on! I didn't mean to hurt my dad! I didn't mean any of it!"

It doesn't matter if you mean any of it you idiot! What matters is that you hurt them!

"No! I can fix this! I can!" I swore with desperation as my mind crumbled around me. I stumbled forward, planting my hand on the bark of one of the pines, and breathing hard. "I - I can explain. I can talk to Jules, and make her realize I'm not meant to be with her. I can talk to Charlie and Mom! I can tell them I'm sorry! I can still - " I tried to beg, but the voices interrupted with a harsh demand.

It isn't going to work! Look up, moron!

My eyes snapped up again as if the voice commanding me had reached out and physically tugged my head, forcing me to look at whatever it demanded.

I was on the reservation.

I could distantly hear the crashing waves of a stormy ocean, far to my right… and I could see the woods beginning to thin out, heading toward the small community where the wolves lived. I could mutely feel my jaw dropping in horror.

Do you see what I mean? You can apologize all you want, but it doesn't stop the fact that you are an all-consuming monster, who will keep hurting them!

You don't even think about it… your feet carried you here subconsciously. You need Jules, so badly, that you didn't even realize you were running towards her. And like always, you're just gonna use her to feel better about yourself - not caring about how she feels.

I could feel a rumbling in my chest, as I shoved off the tree, stalking forward. The voice was right. I needed her. I needed my safe harbor more than ever.

Are you seriously still going to go to her? Consciously now? You are a monster!

I pushed past the last of the trees, forcing myself to walk as I got onto the streets and sidewalks. A dark glower settled on my face, aimed at everything in sight—the colorless signs, the dull houses, the people drifting by. They all seemed to mock me, existing in a world that denied me my angel—a world of gray emptiness.

The older residents glanced at me with wide-eyed terror as I went down the street. I watched curtains snap shut and doors slam closed behind me. My lips curled into a vicious glare, though I aimed it at nothing in particular. None of them deserved my anger; I was the only jerk in this situation. So, I kept my focus on the pavement beneath my feet.

I walked, relying solely on memory to guide me to my best friend's house. It was a short journey, taking only a minute.

When I reached the door, I pounded on it with four decisive knocks. The effort required to control my frustration and not just slam it off its hinges was difficult to manage, but I did it… somehow.

Jules was asleep in her bed, her steady heartbeat and calm breathing creating a peaceful rhythm that filled her room. Already, I could feel the fire inside calming down. The voices were also getting quieter.

Bonnie was in the kitchen, just like the last time I'd shown up at her place, sipping her coffee. As she opened the door, her expression mirrored what I remembered—terror etched across her face.

"Hey Bonnie," I said quietly, hoping to keep her calm - it wouldn't be great if she called the rest of the pack. "Can I talk to Jules please?"

She didn't say anything for a moment. I watched as she steeled herself - her mask of fear slowly slipping away, and being replaced by one of stoney hate. "I think you should head home… Charlie's waiting for you."

"He can wait a little longer." If he stuck to his normal routine, then he wouldn't be getting up for another hour - so I had time to be a little more selfish. "Please, Bonnie. I really need to talk to her."

It seemed that her mood was just as bad as mine because the little bit of strained politeness also vanished with her changing look. "You are breaking the treaty by being here beast."

"We don't have a treaty yet," I said as calmly as I could.

"You're part of the Cullen clan, aren't you, boy?" she spat, her gaze seething with hatred. It sparked a flicker of curiosity in me - was I really so hated just for being a vampire, that I earned a look that would easily kill an ordinary person?

She's probably pissed about you screwing with her daughter you prick.

"I'm not," I whispered, so softly that I hoped she hadn't heard. But her eyes flared with even more intensity.

"Then why did you leave to help them?" Her question wasn't just a question; it was a demand for answers. She wanted an explanation, but it seemed her frustration ran deeper than whatever problems she had with the treaty because her eyes kept flicking back down to the hall where Jules was sleeping.

Of course, she doesn't care about that. She cares about her daughter - the one you left heartbroken in the rain!

"Someone was going to die… I had to go," I whispered, looking away, and ignoring the fair words my mind conjured.

"Then you should have let them," she snarled like an animal, slamming her old hand into the arm of her wheelchair. "You should have let all of them die if you truly believed in peace between us."

"I want peace for everyone, Bonnie, not just the pack," I said, turning back to her with my own small glare. She flinched back - so I guess it wasn't as small as I'd thought. It was deserved though. I wouldn't have her talking bad about my angel like that… she deserved it least of all.

She quickly found herself again. "You speak of peace, cold one, yet you should know that true peace is not meant for your kind. Our protectors are human as much as they are shifters, bound by the sacred balance between us. You may deny the darkness within you, but it does not alter your nature. You are a creature of conflict and death. And I should not have forgotten that." She said it all as though it were a threat - like she could hold the treaty I knew we both wanted over my head.

My jaw clenched. Jules was just in the other room, and while it helped to be near her, I was getting more and more desperate to actually see her. "Look, we can argue all day long about this, but it doesn't change the fact that I haven't hurt anyone." Not physically. "And whatever problems you've had with other vampires is your business, but I think we could help each other someday. If you don't think that's possible, then of the few things I've had to deal with, that's not my fault."

I could see her winding up, ready to yell, but I quickly shook my head, getting my next words in quickly before she could. "Now please, you've known me since I was little. I saved Elliot's life, and whether you believe me or not - whatever my nature is; Jules is my friend, and I will help her however, and whenever she needs… but right now… I need her… please."

I couldn't tell if it was the desperation in my voice or the look of utter defeat in my eyes, but something seemed to shift. It was as if I had finally broken through to her, even if just a little because the internal struggle that had waged within her finally appeared to have found a winner.

With a pursed lip, and narrowed eyes, she said curtly, "If she wants to see you, then I will allow it. Wait here."

She shut the door with a tiny slam, and it would've made me cringe had I been human. Well, maybe not. If I had been human, I would've probably been some sort of husk - so I wouldn't have cared. I heard Bonnie wheel away down her hall, huffing, and muttering under her breath about disgusting creatures, and damned souls. It almost made me roll my eyes.

You know you should run. You know it's the right thing to do… go hole up in a cave somewhere… let yourself turn back into that corpse who couldn't think without being tortured, and leave everyone else alone.

It was hard not to let the sudden rumbling growl of pain in my chest get louder. I didn't want Jules to hear it.

You're such a jerk… you know that she's gonna be heartbroken when she finds out, you're only here to feel better about yourself - that you're here because the girl you put above everyone else is once again stealing the love that should rightly have been hers.

I shook my head and shut my eyes. I didn't need to listen to this.

Your conscience!? You don't need to listen to your conscience!?

But that was exactly it. I knew it wasn't my conscience; I knew that these voices in my head were nothing more than the absence of my angel. They've been what I've been thinking for the whole past year, and now without the soothing nature of any of my loved ones or my hallucinations, they were simply getting louder.

Or maybe now that you realize how big of a screw-up you are, you're actually deciding to hear it all!

Before I could figure out what to respond to that with, I heard Bonnie gently putting her hand on Jules's shoulder, giving her a shake. I could hear the bed spring lightly squeaking, and the blanket gently sliding off of her.

"Julie," Bonnie whispered. She gave her another shake.

You've still got time to leave… be kind.

I ignored it.

"Egh… what?" Jules's muffled voice asked into what I assumed was a pillow.

"Beau is at the door," Bonnie grudgingly said.

Within a second, I heard pounding feet on the wood floor, and a blanket launching against a wall. I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and shoved my hands in my pockets. The door flew open.

Her eyes were bloodshot. That was the most obvious difference about her - that and her hair sticking up in all different angles. It was like a punch to the gut, realizing that she'd been crying for days on end. I was the worst kind of friend.

But she didn't seem to think so; her smile was so wide it looked almost painful. She looked at me in disbelief, as if she'd thought I was lying when I said I'd come back. But that moment of doubt faded quickly as her eyes became brighter and brighter.

"Beau!" She cried, launching herself through the door, and wrapping her arms around my neck. Her legs found themselves around my hips in the exact same way, so I quickly spun to reduce what was honestly an incredibly hard impact. I was worried she'd hurt herself. But I knew she was tough… tougher than me at least.

"Hey Jules," I breathed with relief. The pain was slowly ebbing away; like the fire that had been spreading through my skin had finally started to simmer down, now that she was in my arms.

Her fingers ran through my hair, not letting me go as I let her hop off of me. Her bare feet hit the little deck with a thud, as she beamed up at me. "You came back!"

"'Course I did. I promised," I said weakly, shrugging.

"I - I thought you…" She said trailing off, looking at me with wonder.

"Thought what?" I asked.

She bit her lip, and whispered "I thought you were gonna go back to uh… them."

She was trying to be careful with her words. As always, she was trying to be kind. I didn't have that kind of patience. I bluntly said, "They didn't want me."

I felt pathetic admitting that out loud, and it was a horrible thing to hear - even if I was the one to say it… but it was true. Though the sudden look of rage in her eyes seemed to disagree.

"After you helped them?" She asked dangerously quiet. "You did help them, right? That small one in the group, she was in trouble or whatever, and you bailed them out? And then they told you that?"

I quickly shook my head. "No.. no uh… I left before they could say it."

"You left?" She asked, her rage disappearing just as quickly as it came, being replaced, once again with her disbelief.

"Yeah," I said with a breath.

"Why?"

My fingers tightened around her waist a bit. I had to resist pulling her closer. "Because I didn't want to hear them say it."

We stayed quiet for a second, but she nodded her head. "Well… good choice. Filthy blood suckers… they don't deserve you."

She hugged me again, burrowing her head into my neck as she held me close, just like I wanted. Selfishly, I didn't stop her. But I knew that I had to talk to her, now, before I led her on any further… before I hurt her even worse than I had been.

So, I got to be comforted by her one last time, at the very least, if she ended up hating me.

"Can we talk?" I mumbled into her hair.

"We are talking hero," she whispered back, saying my nickname with love. It made me feel special, and it made me ache at the same time.

"I mean like, actually talk. It's important."

She pulled back slowly, smiling with warmth. "Always. What's up?"

My lips parted like I was gonna say something, but the words didn't come out. Partly because I didn't want to have this conversation to begin with, partly because I didn't know how to start it, and mostly because I could hear Bonnie lurking behind her front door, eavesdropping.

"Could we talk somewhere a bit more private?"

Jules laughed, and nodded, looking over her shoulder at the door. "I'll be back later," she called teasingly to the woman, not having a care in the world as she turned back to me. "Where we headed?"

A list of places flew through my head, "the garage?" I asked, picking the first one to come to mind. I looked over at the little, rusted building - it looked quiet enough.

"She'll drop in after an hour or two, think that'd be enough time to get whatever is off your chest?" Jules said, nodding towards the door without looking.

I let out a breath, "uh…" Nowhere was really good. "The woods?" I tried.

She bobbed her head side to side, considering it. "The pack might find us by accident," she whispered mostly to herself. "They're probably patrolling right now."

Suddenly, her eyes lit up with an idea. "You wanna head down to the beaches? Those cliffs are pretty quiet, and the sun is gonna be coming up soon… it'll be… nice… and no one goes there. Not this early anyway."

I had to rack my brain for a second. The cliffs… right; the ones that the pack would jump off of for fun. I vaguely remember them. They would work. "Sounds good."

"It's a long walk though, like an hour if we're booking it," she warned.

"If you're in a hurry, we could just run," I softly teased.

"I would, but the pack might be awake… Sam definitely is. And she's not gonna be happy if she knows I'm alone with you on the res… so I can't shift."

"What do you mean? How would she know?"

She shook her head, waving the question away. "It's a wolf thing - point is, I'm gonna need a lift."

"I didn't bring my truck."

"Yeah, I figured. I kinda meant getting a ride from you… like you," she said, blushing lightly. Oh. Well, that wasn't too big a problem.

Smiling, I let her hand slip from mine, and I turned around. Slowly, I got down on one knee and looked over my shoulder at her. "Whenever you're ready."

She didn't move for a moment… I could hear her breathing get heavy, and her heart beating a little faster. "Jules?" I asked, worried.

"S-sorry," she stuttered, her usually confident self gone as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She brought her legs up as I stood, and I gently pulled them around my hips, making sure she was secure.

"Hold on tight, okay," I said, holding onto her thigh with a hand, as I took a breath. "And uh… you might wanna close your eyes."

"And miss the fun?" She laughed, putting her chin on my shoulder. I could hear her heartbeat running faster as I held her legs. "Don't be a dork… you know I like going fast."

I grinned lightly, nodding. I wasn't surprised - even with the little bit of fear I could sense, she was still enough of a daredevil to trust me.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Ready," she whispered with excitement.

And just like that, I was running again, taking my safe harbor with me.

Please do check out my profile, I've got a lot more of My Angle in there!