Bruno ran. He felt like he couldn't breathe. His chest felt like it was constricting, trying to kill him from the inside out. He didn't know if it was the sickness that Julieta insisted he had, or his nerves about possibly running into Mamá. He couldn't think clearly enough to figure out what was physically wrong with him.

His head was spinning. He couldn't think at all. The only clear thoughts in his head were that he couldn't see Mamá, and he needed to get away. Even those thoughts were a little jumbled, because a part of him wanted to run right back to his sisters and let them take care of him in the way they were desperate to.

And even though he knew why he couldn't see his mother, he was overwhelmed, tired, and frightened, and a part of him was desperate to run to her and let her fix all of his issues. He knew he couldn't, but the more he ran the harder it was to remember. There were several times while he was running that he couldn't remember why, he just knew he couldn't stop.

His legs felt like jelly, and it was a wonder that he didn't trip and fall. He was running on adrenaline and fear and little else.

He didn't think about where he was going. He ran by instinct, and because he felt unsafe and frightened and needed a safe place, his feet brought him to a safe place from his childhood.

The grass and dirt he was running across suddenly shifted to rocks and sand, and he wasn't ready for the sudden change. His feet sank in the sand unexpectantly and didn't need as much pressure to step away. He stumbled over his feet and didn't have the focus to catch himself. He fell to the ground.

It wasn't too painful. The sand was gritty and dug into his skin, but it was softer than the packed dirt of the paths. It wouldn't take too long to get up and be on his way, but now that he had stopped moving he felt like he would never be able to move again.

Bruno let out a small whimper and curled up on the sand. It actually felt really nice. His sisters couldn't stand the feeling of sand, but he'd always found comfort in it. He wasn't sure why. Somehow the little grains across his body helped him feel grounded. And when he started to spiral in his own thoughts he could usually close his eyes, take a deep breath, and just try to feel a grain of sand somewhere on his body.

That grounding method hadn't been as useful since he started staying in the walls, because there wasn't sand in there the way there was in his room, but it still worked. His rat friends always went into his old room, and they crawled all over him, so there was still sand, just a lot less of it. That just meant that he needed to focus more when trying to calm himself.

Laying in the sand now, it felt like Bruno's mind shut off. He had been reminding himself over and over why he needed to leave, but he couldn't remember those reasons now. They were just at the tip of his memory, but it felt like far too much effort to try. It was so much easier for him to just lay here and enjoy the sand.

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the sky. It was mostly clear, with just a few clouds, but he thought he could hear thunder in the distance. Pepa was upset. Of course she was. She was mad because…because…well, he couldn't quite remember what he had done. He knew Julieta was probably mad at him for leaving when he said he wouldn't, but why was Pepa mad? Had she asked him not to leave? He couldn't remember.

Maybe he should go home. He didn't want to upset his sisters.

No! No, that was a bad idea. A very bad idea. He didn't want to think about why it was, he just knew it was.

Pepa would calm down soon. She was always so much calmer when he wasn't around. He always just seemed to make everything worse. Staying here was the best thing for everybody.

He closed his eyes and burrowed his hands into the sand. He wriggled and squirmed his head and shoulders to be more covered with sand. It probably would be easier if he used his hands, but they were comfortable where they were and he didn't want to try to find that comfort again.

It was really comfortable out here. The sun felt nice against his skin. He couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed the sun like this. He liked the dark and crowded halls behind Casita's walls. It made him feel protected. But the fresh air felt nice. He took in a deep breath and felt it get caught in his throat as his chest tightened. He felt like he needed to cough, but nothing could come out, and nothing could come in.

Bruno whimpered and clenched his fists, trying to grab at the sand that just shifted. It was like trying to grip water. He wasn't choking or suffocating or anything like that. He was still breathing, he just felt like he wasn't, and he was worried that if he tried then he really was going to stop breathing.

Everything hurt, and yet it felt numb at the same time. He tried to focus on something other than his fear and pain. Mamá had taught him how to do it when he was younger. It had happened on this very beach.

He couldn't remember what he was upset about. It had just been a really bad time for him. He had felt panicked and overwhelmed about everything. His sisters had tried to help him, but nothing they did helped.

Mamá had brought him to this river near the edge of the valley. She had insisted that he never go upriver, and he had been too frightened of disappointing her to even think of disobeying. She had sat him in the sand and talked to him about…something.

It was disappointing. He couldn't remember what she'd told him specifically. He knew it had made him feel better, but that was about all.

Something about sand, and the passing of time, and living in the moment.

Even if he couldn't remember the specific words or lessons she'd taught him on this beach, he still carried them with him. He thought of this beach as a safe place, and had come here countless times after that day. He had started to come up with his rituals for his visions. He didn't need a circle of sand to see the future, but it made him feel safe and focused. That was around the time when his room had changed to have sand in it.

He felt safe now. He wasn't completely content or comfortable. He still felt like he couldn't breathe, and there was still a heaviness in his heart that he didn't want to think about, but he wasn't anxious here.

He wished he could feel like this at home. Maybe that was what he was missing. The reason why his stomach was twisting painfully and he felt like crying. He was homesick. Bruno had been feeling this way for two years, but he was close enough to the rest of the family to convince himself that it wasn't too bad. Now that he wasn't in Casita he felt like his home was all the way on the other side of the world. It was an impossibly overwhelming distance away, and he felt like he not only shouldn't go back, but that he couldn't.

Bruno's breath got caught in his throat, and it wasn't because of the physical pain this time. "I-I want to go home." Bruno said breathlessly. He closed his eyes and let out a shuddered breath. "I want to go home."

"Hmm."

Dolores squeaked and looked to the left. She saw nothing there, but she had heard something. Twice.

Tío Bruno sounded upset. That wasn't anything unusual. What was odd was that he was blatantly saying what he wanted. Dolores had known him her whole life, and she could count on one hand the number of times he had voiced a desire that was for himself.

Oh, he had plenty of desires for other people's sake, but he didn't talk about his own wants. She knew that even if he wanted something, he either felt like he didn't deserve it, or that someone else's needs were more important than his own. Dolores knew this, because she saw the same traits in her cousins. And her tía. And her mamá.

She knew her whole family was struggling, but she didn't know how to talk to them about it, because none of them actually talked about it, so it wasn't as though she could call them out for something she overheard.

But she had heard Bruno. She heard his wants, and though she knew that her parents had been talking to her about granting people privacy and pretending to not hear their private words to themselves, she didn't want to ignore it this time because she wanted him to come home too. They all did. So why should she stay quiet and risk losing him again?

Dolores had told Julieta and Agustín that Bruno was there, and everything was fine. Her Papá and Mamá had found out, and things were still fine. Things only went wrong because Bruno was scared of Abuela. But he'd been afraid of Julieta and Mamá too.

Bruno had a tendency to worry about the worst-case scenario. Dolores could understand his anxiety, but that didn't mean that his fear was right. What if Abuela was just as happy to see Bruno as his sisters were?

He said he wanted to come home. Dolores didn't know why he shouldn't.

She stood up and went towards Casita. The adults were inside, arguing. Dolores and Isabela had been given the job of keeping the younger kids distracted and out of the house. She felt a bit bad for leaving Isabela with this responsibility, but this was important. Besides, Dolores had been distracted with trying to listen for Bruno and ignore the fighting in the house, so she hadn't been much help in the first place.

None of the other kids noticed as she slipped inside the house. The wind was blowing violently, and she had to take a second to find her balance. Dolores took a deep breath and went into the kitchen.

Mamá was pacing furiously around the room. Abuela and Tía Julieta were arguing. Dolores wasn't used to seeing Julieta so mad. She was curious about what they were fighting about, but she blocked their words out. She was just going to get distracted. She had come here for a reason.

She went to her Papá's side and tugged on his sleeve. He didn't scold her for coming into the house. He just put an arm around her and pulled her close. He wasn't participating in the fight. He had probably tried to calm her Mamá, but she had pushed him away. That didn't happen often, but he respected her space when it did.

"Papá," Dolores said. He looked down at her. "I heard Tío Bruno. He said he wants to come home."

Her Papá looked at Abuela. He seemed unsure and uncomfortable for a long moment before he smiled and gave her a proud look.

"Well, if he wants to come home, then we'd better bring him home." Papá said. Dolores wished it was that easy. As much as Bruno wanted to come home, he was scared. He'd been scared of Mamá, and that fear didn't go away until he talked to her. Dolores knew the same thing would happen with Abuela. She was the only one who could bring him home.

Dolores knew this might be a mistake, but she didn't want to let fear keep their family from being whole. Not anymore.

"Abuela." Dolores stepped towards her grandmother, physically getting in the middle of her argument with Julieta. "I need to talk to you."