Chapter 2
Derek sank into his office chair with a weary sigh, the events of his trip to Michigan still swirling in his mind like a tempest. Clyde's shocking revelation about Emily's daughter Robyn blazed at the forefront of his thoughts. He rubbed his temples, trying to quiet the cacophony of conflicting impulses - to share this earth-shattering news with the team immediately or to honour Clyde's dire warnings about secrecy.
He booted up his computer, staring blankly at the login screen as Clyde's parting words echoed in his mind. "Robyn's safety depends on this staying between us."
Derek's brow furrowed as he considered the implications. Clyde had insisted the girl was protected, her true identity concealed...but was it enough? His heart ached at the thought of Robyn growing up without her mother, forever unaware of Emily's sacrifice.
No, he decided firmly, logging in and pulling up the stack of neglected case files. He had to trust Clyde, trust that the man had Emily and Robyn's best interests at heart. And he had to do right by Emily, respecting the choice she had made, as unfathomable as it seemed. He would shoulder this burden alone if he must.
Derek slipped on his headphones, determined to lose himself in the mundane details of paperwork and block out the turbulent questions plaguing him. His eyes flicked over the pages, seeing the words but not fully registering their meaning as his mind drifted back to Emily, picturing her cradling an infant with familiar dark hair and deep, soulful eyes...
"Ummm, hellooo...earth to Derek?"
He jumped as Penelope's voice cut through his reverie, one of his earbuds tumbling out. She stood before his desk, hands on her hips, studying him with a look of fond exasperation.
"Hey there, baby girl," he replied, managing a weak smile as he removed his headphones. "Sorry, I was just..."
"In another world?" she finished, arching an eyebrow. "I'll say. Welcome back, space cadet."
Derek huffed out a breath, the ghost of a genuine smile touching his lips. Leave it to Penelope to pull him out of his own head. But his momentary relief was quickly overtaken by a fresh wave of guilt.
She had no idea the secret he now carried, the news he was keeping from her. His ever-perceptive, fiercely loyal friend who wore her heart on her sleeve. He hated the thought of being dishonest with her, but what choice did he have? This wasn't his story to tell.
"How was your visit with your family?" Penelope asked, a less-than-subtle wink accompanying her words.
Derek rose abruptly from his chair, striding to the office door and shutting it with a decisive click. Penelope's eyebrows shot up, her expression shifting from playful to intrigued.
"Okay... what's with the cloak and dagger routine? What happened in Michigan?" Her eyes were alight with hope, eager for some juicy revelation.
"Nothing," Derek said firmly, willing his racing heart to slow. "I just don't want the whole office to know what we've been up to."
Penelope wasn't buying it. She crossed her arms, fixing him with a look that clearly said 'spill.' "It doesn't seem like nothing happened."
Derek sighed, sinking back into his chair. He picked up a pen, fiddling with it to avoid meeting her gaze. "It was... Clyde was visiting a friend. I shouldn't have been there."
He forced himself to focus on the paperwork before him, as if he could seamlessly return to work and dodge any further questions. But Penelope's disappointment was palpable.
"I really thought I was on to something," she said, her usual bubbly demeanour deflating.
Derek's heart twisted. He hated seeing her like this, hated being the cause of it. "Maybe not this time, but you will," he assured her, mustering an encouraging smile. "Keep looking."
Penelope nodded, but the spark had gone out of her eyes. She turned to go, her steps heavy with defeat. As the door clicked shut behind her, Derek slumped in his chair, the weight of his secret bearing down on him.
He wanted so badly to tell her about Robyn, to share the incredible truth of Emily's daughter. But he was still grappling with the decision himself, still trying to untangle the complex web of Emily's past and her desires for her child's future.
Emily had always been a deeply private person, guarding her personal life with fierce protectiveness. And from what little he knew, it seemed she had wanted to shield her daughter from the dark shadows of her history with Doyle.
Telling the team about Robyn would surely encroach on both Emily's privacy and her wishes for her daughter. But even knowing this, Derek couldn't help the overwhelming need to talk to someone, to process the earth-shattering discovery of Emily's child.
He closed his eyes, picturing Emily's face. What would she want him to do? The answer, he knew, was to keep her secret. To trust that she had made the best choice for her daughter, even if it meant carrying this knowledge alone.
With a heavy sigh, Derek turned back to his paperwork, trying to lose himself in the mundane details. But Derek's thoughts incessantly revisited the memory of a fleeting moment, where a dark-haired little girl with eyes reminiscent of Emily's captured his attention. The lingering question persisted, echoing relentlessly in his mind.
What now?
Derek gripped the steering wheel tighter as he drove through the darkened streets. The rhythmic thump of the tires against the pavement did little to soothe his racing thoughts. Guilt gnawed at him, an insidious whisper in the back of his mind.
He pictured Penelope's crestfallen expression, her usual exuberance deflated by his deception. It twisted like a knife in his gut. But even worse was the thought of betraying Emily, of exposing the secret she had so desperately tried to protect. Her daughter, hidden away from the world, from the darkness that had consumed Emily's life. Derek wrestled with the weight of that knowledge, the burden of carrying it alone.
Before he even realised where he was heading, Derek found himself parked in front of a familiar white stone townhouse. He sat for a moment, staring up at the warm glow emanating from the windows. JJ. She was the one person he could talk to, someone he trusted implicitly, even if she was no longer part of the team.
With a deep breath, he stepped out of the car and made his way up the narrow path to the front door. He hesitated, fist poised to knock, suddenly unsure. But before he could change his mind, the door swung open, revealing a smiling JJ.
"Hey Derek," she greeted warmly, her blue eyes crinkling at the corners.
Derek swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. "Hey... Can I come in?" he asked, his voice rough with emotion.
JJ's smile faltered slightly as she took in his sombre expression. "We're just about to put Henry to bed. But I have a few minutes," she explained, stepping back to allow him inside.
Derek shook his head, already turning away. "I can come back another time," he said, the words heavy on his tongue.
JJ reached out, her hand gentle on his arm. "No, it's okay. What's going on?" she asked, her tone laced with concern. She could sense the turmoil radiating off him, the way his shoulders hunched as if carrying an invisible weight.
Derek met her gaze, saw the genuine worry in her eyes, and felt his resolve crumble. He turned back, following her into the warmth of the house, the door closing softly behind them.
JJ led him into the living room, the soft lamplight casting a warm glow over the cosy space. She gestured for him to sit, settling herself on the opposite end of the plush sofa.
"Talk to me, Derek," she urged softly. "What's going on?"
Derek leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, his head bowed. The words stuck in his throat, the enormity of what he had to say pressing down on his chest like a physical weight.
Derek's heart pounded as he struggled to find the right words. "I did something... Do you ever feel like you know too much?" he asked, his voice strained.
Did he know she helped Emily disappear, that she isn't dead?
JJ's heart raced as she leaned in, her fingers trembling slightly as they landed on his knee. "Derek, whatever it is, you can trust me," her words were measured but the weight of her unspoken fear hung heavily in the air between them. Her gaze darted nervously across his face, silently pleading for reassurance. "I want to help," she added hastily, a desperate edge creeping into her tone.
"I was in Michigan the other day, following Clyde Easter," Derek confessed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of his admission.
JJ's eyebrows shot up. "Does Hotch know?"
"No," Derek shook his head. "Garcia found some unusual travel habits, so I decided to look into it on my own time."
"And?" JJ pushed, sensing there was more to the story.
Derek ran a hand over his face, his mind replaying the conversation with Clyde. "I'm supposed to say it was a dead end, but..."
"You found something that could help capture Doyle," JJ suggested, trying to piece together the puzzle.
"No... maybe. But that's not the issue," Derek said, his voice thick with emotion. He hesitated, torn between his loyalty to Emily and the need to confide in someone he trusted. "Clyde begged me to keep this between us, said I can't tell the team."
JJ let out a surprised laugh. "Clyde begs? I'd like to see that."
Derek managed a weak smile, appreciating her attempt to lighten the mood. "He threatened me more than begged."
"That sounds about right," JJ agreed, her expression turning serious once more. "I thought, since you're not part of the BAU..." Derek began, struggling to find the right words.
"That you could tell me?" JJ interjected, her voice gentle. "I mean, you can, but is this going to put me in an awkward position?"
Derek nodded, his heart heavy. "It may."
JJ took a deep breath, bracing herself for what was to come. "Okay. What is it?"
The room fell silent as Derek gathered his courage. "Maybe Emily already told you, but... she has... had a daughter. She's 7," he explained, his voice barely above a whisper.
JJ's eyes widened, the pieces falling into place. "She's Doyle's," she guessed, her mind racing.
Derek nodded, his eyes searching JJ's face for any sign of judgement or surprise. "Did you know?"
"No," JJ said calmly, shaking her head. "Emily never mentioned anything to me." But even as she spoke, JJ's mind was already sifting through her memories, searching for any hint or clue that Emily might have tried to confide in her.
The silence stretched between them as they both grappled with the weight of this revelation. JJ's heart ached for her friend, for the secrets she had carried and the life she had been forced to leave behind. She longed to know more about Emily's daughter, to put a name and a face to the child who had been hidden from the world.
Derek's voice broke the silence, his words heavy with uncertainty. "So... Do I tell the team?"
JJ redirected her attention, her voice steady. "What did Clyde say exactly?"
Derek sighed, running a hand over his face. "That she's safe, that Emily didn't want her to grow up afraid of the world. He claims that Emily's daughter could never be connected back to her or Doyle."
JJ nodded, her eyes softening. "I think you should trust him. She trusts him."
"Trusted," Derek corrected, his voice catching on the word.
"Right," JJ said, shaking her head. The reality of Emily's absence still felt like a fresh wound. "It sounds like he's trying to respect her wishes. Besides, do you really think Emily would want everyone to know unless it was absolutely necessary?"
"No," Derek admitted with a melancholic laugh. "She'd be pretty pissed at me for what I've done so far."
JJ smiled, nodding in agreement. "Do you think you can find Doyle without bringing her daughter into this?" she asked, her voice gentle but firm.
Derek's shoulders sagged, the weight of the task ahead of him settling heavily on his frame. "I don't know, but I have to find a way," he said, his eyes fierce with determination.
A beat passed between them, the air thick with unspoken emotions. "She looks just like Emily," Derek confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
JJ's heart skipped a beat, her curiosity piqued. "What's her name?" she asked, leaning forward slightly.
But the expression on Derek's face made her realise that he wasn't ready to divulge that information. "You don't want to say..." JJ said, her disappointment evident in her tone.
Derek hesitated, his eyes searching the floor as if the answer lay hidden in the fibres of the carpet. "It feels like a violation," he said finally, his voice heavy with guilt. "Emily never knew her name. I shouldn't either, and I certainly shouldn't be telling anyone else."
JJ nodded, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "I get it," she said, hoping Derek would recognize her understanding. "It's probably best that I don't know. It'll just make me more curious, right?"
Derek looked up, meeting JJ's gaze with a grateful expression. He knew he could trust her with this secret, that she would carry it with the same care and reverence that he did.
After a moment, JJ stood up from the couch, her movements slow and deliberate. She knew their time together was coming to a close, but she wanted to make sure Derek knew that he wasn't alone in this. That he had someone he could turn to, someone who understood the weight of the secrets they both carried.
"Look, I need to put Henry to bed, but..." JJ paused, her hand resting on the doorknob as she walked Derek to the door. "If you ever need to unburden yourself again, you know where to find me."
Derek's lips curved into a grateful smile. "Thanks, JJ." He stepped forward, enveloping her in a warm hug before walking out into the cool night air.
JJ lingered in the doorway, watching as Derek made his way down the path. "And Derek..." she called out, her voice carrying through the stillness.
He turned back, his eyebrows raised in question.
"I think you're doing the right thing. Emily would be thankful." JJ's words were laced with a quiet conviction, a reassurance that seemed to lift some of the weight from Derek's shoulders.
With a nod and a small smile, Derek turned to leave once again, his steps a little lighter as he disappeared into the darkness. JJ shut the door, her mind still whirling with the implications of Derek's revelation as she made her way upstairs to settle her son into bed.
Later that night, JJ lay awake, the soft breathing of her husband Will beside her doing little to calm her racing thoughts. The knowledge of Emily's daughter seemed to burn in her mind, a secret that threatened to consume her. Should she tell Emily? The question gnawed at her, an incessant whisper that refused to be silenced.
Will's voice broke through the darkness, his words laced with concern. "Are you okay?"
JJ's eyes fluttered open, and she rolled onto her back with a sigh. "I'm fine. Just tired. I've got a lot going on at work." The lie fell from her lips with practised ease, a familiar weight that settled in the pit of her stomach.
"What did Derek want?" Will probed, his curiosity piqued.
"He... just needed someone to talk to." Another lie, the words bitter on her tongue. But it wasn't new, this deception. Ever since Emily had faked her death, JJ had become well-versed in the art of hiding the truth, of burying secrets deep within herself for the sake of national security and the protection of those she loved.
Will's hand found hers beneath the sheets, his fingers lacing through her own. "You can't support everyone through this, JJ. Leave some room for yourself."
JJ gritted her teeth, the urge to defend her actions rising like a tidal wave within her. If only he knew the depths of what she'd been doing, the lengths she'd gone to in order to keep her team safe. But she swallowed the words, forcing herself to take a steadying breath.
Instead, she rolled over to face her husband, her lips brushing against his cheek in a gentle kiss. "I will, but I can't abandon them," she whispered, her voice barely audible in the stillness of the room.
With a final squeeze of Will's hand, JJ slipped from the bed, the hardwood floor cool beneath her bare feet as she made her way downstairs. She filled a glass with water, the liquid sloshing against the sides as her hands trembled slightly. Grabbing her iPad, she settled onto the couch, the weight of her thoughts pressing down on her like a physical force.
JJ tapped the Scrabble app icon, the cheery logo a stark contrast to the heaviness in her chest. She navigated to their ongoing game, studying the board. Emily's last play lingered there, an unassuming jumble of letters that held a deeper meaning, a code decipherable only to them.
Her fingers ghosted over the screen, considering, composing. Each word choice was deliberate, layered with subtext. She settled on her move, tapping out the letters. A benign play on the surface, but a message to Emily, an invitation to connect.
[ChatBubble] Played "MOONLIT" for 74 points. Your move.
She hit send and waited, watching the screen for the telltale dots that would signal Emily's presence. The minutes stretched, each second an eternity. JJ's mind wandered, imagining Emily in her Parisian flat, hunched over her own device, puzzling out the hidden meaning in JJ's words.
A soft chime broke the silence, and JJ's heart leapt.
[ChatBubble] Played "WHISPER" for 68 points. Can't sleep. You're up late.
JJ's fingers were already moving, tapping out a response.
[ChatBubble] Played "LULLABY" for 52 points. Henry fought bedtime. Will's already out. Just me and my thoughts.
She hesitated, the cursor blinking, tempting her to say more. But the words wouldn't come, the weight of Robyn's existence too heavy to convey through a game of virtual Scrabble.
[ChatBubble] Played "SUNRISE" for 61 points. I know the feeling. Paris is beautiful at dawn, but I'd trade it to be home or at least outside.
Tears pricked at JJ's eyes, Emily's words a bittersweet reminder of the life she'd left behind, the family she couldn't claim. Her thumb hovered over the screen, poised to reply, to offer some small comfort. But what could she say? That Derek had stumbled upon a secret so profound it could shatter the fragile peace Emily had found is her exile? That the daughter she'd never known was out there, living a life untouched by the shadows that clung to her parents?
In the end, she settled for simplicity, a promise unspoken.
[ChatBubble] Played "ALWAYS" for 48 points. Miss you. Stay safe.
JJ logged out of the app, her heart heavy with the weight of secrets kept and truths untold. She hugged a throw pillow to her chest, gaze drifting to the window, to the inky sky beyond. Somewhere out there, Robyn slept, blissfully unaware of the mother who loved her from afar, of the father whose legacy threatened to tear their world apart. And JJ would do everything in her power to ensure it stayed that way.
Thanks for reading! Keep an eye out for the next story!