"Let me get this straight. The creature soul reapers actually answer to is currently stuck in hell. And when he found out half the crap they've been up to since he allowed them to create the Soul Society, he got pissed?" said Uryu in disbelief.
"Should have seen his expression when he saw Kon. It's bad enough they nearly wiped out your family, but creating fake souls just so they could play with the living? They're screwed if he ever gets out."
This was the first time he'd seen his old friends in months. Even Chad was there.
The gentle giant was actually playing with Ichigo's new "pet" Kiba.
Chad had a weird sense of 'cute'. Either that or he figured it had to be nice considering Ichigo kept it as his pet.
"So what's America like?" asked Orihime.
"Pretty interesting, actually. At least what little I see of it between assignments. There is this one demon who's a total pain in the ass though. And don't get me started on the hunters," said Ichigo.
"I still can't believe you're employed by a demon, of all things," said Uryu, shaking his head.
"It was either that or be stuck in some crappy Starbucks. One more week of dealing out coffee to the over caffeinated Americans and I was about to scream. Plus I get to do the same things I did here with better pay," said Ichigo flatly. Before he considered one key difference "Well, aside from going from heavy assault to burglar extraordinaire anyway."
"Really? Burglar?" said Uryu dryly.
"Since I'm one of the only people Crowley can send in when someone's trying to escape their contract, I've had to learn how to pick locks, among other things. On the plus side, I've found some pretty interesting things in people's houses. Crowley doesn't care if I rob their wallets," said Ichigo.
"Doesn't thieving going against your 'moral code' Kurosaki?" asked Uryu.
"Stealing from idiots who made demon deals doesn't bother me. And I have it in my contract that Crowley won't use me to kill the dumb bastards. He has the hell hounds for that. Besides, I work for a demon. I've had to lose a few morals."
Ichigo had to lose some morals anyway, once he realized how hard it was getting a job with so many missed classes. The Soul Society had screwed him over but good.
So no, thieving wasn't going to give him any sleepless nights.
"How did you meet this demon anyway?" asked Chad.
"Long story short, he came into the Starbucks I was at, grew curious and had one of his disposable minions attack me. He agreed not to send me after anyone who made a deal to kill them off, and I agreed to take care of certain inhuman nuisances for him when the demons can't. Besides, we quickly realized there was a perk to having someone like me on the payroll."
"What sort of perk?" asked Orihime.
"You remember when that damned soul took Yuzu into hell?"
Every one of them nodded. It was hard to forget those things.
"Well it turns out that the hell we ran into to get her back from was only a regional one. Something that formed after the Soul Society was put into place. As a side effect, some of it bleeds through to the one in America and any place that actively practices Christianity, Catholicism, or any religion that sees Lucifer as the devil. Which means that in order to get between Karakura and America, I just have to go through the pit. It really cuts down on travel time," said Ichigo.
"Won't those monsters attack you though?" asked Orihime. She remembered those things.
"They don't attack anything that doesn't belong. They actually leave demons alone, probably because they sense they're souls that actually belong in hell. Either that or it's some twisted sort of courtesy to creatures that cause just as much torment as they do. So long as I have Kiba with me, they leave me alone."
Uryu stared.
"You're kidding."
"Nope. I'm not alive or dead, and they think anyone walking around with a trained hell hound that isn't trying to eat their face off is a demon. So I literally have a get-out-of-hell free card, so long as I don't interfere with the damned anyway."
And boy, had Crowley capitalized on that attitude. If Ichigo had nothing better to do, the demon sometimes sent him into the pit to run errands. Since he wasn't one of the damned, and he had a hell hound with him, the demons left him alone. Well that and he had quickly proven as someone you don't mess with after the first twenty tried to annoy him.
It was hard to argue with someone using a sword that looked like an oversized butcher knife and had a side of them that liked to cause pain. Nobody really cared if he let Shirosaki run wild, so long as he didn't try to eat anyone.
Shirosaki did try to eat one, but quickly spat it out. So long as Ichigo kept him in check among the living, Death didn't mind if his hollow side went on a rampage on souls that had lingered too long.
It kept Shirosaki from giving him trouble, gave Ichigo 'street cred' among the demons and other supernatural creatures, and it added to his bank account because Crowley paid him every time he went down.
Well that and he found Death to be a surprisingly pleasant conversationalist. As well as whoever was inside that weird cage in the really deep levels.
"So how long is your contract for?"
"Five years, give or take. I get paid by a case-by-case basis, plus free room and utilities. Not to mention the only time I have to pay for the food bill is when I'm working outside the house. Though I hate it when the hell hounds go into heat, because it draws werewolves like damn flies," said Ichigo.
"Werewolves?" said Uryu.
"Cursed people who turn every full moon. And don't get me started on the vampires, ghosts, shifters and other crap. Though I do have something you might be able to use on the soul reapers if they come bothering you again," said Ichigo.
"Do tell."
"Apparently when Death gave them permission to make a new afterlife, he decided to take away their invulnerability to certain things. They're little more than over-powered ghosts, which means if you hit them with salt it's going to hurt like a bitch."
Uryu looked like Ichigo had given him a real treat, telling him that. His entire face lit up.
"So if I were to say thrown an entire container of salt on Kurotsuchi..."
"He'd start screaming like the damned. And trust me, those guys are loud. I've found wearing sound-proof headsets that play music helps cut down on the headaches."
"Enjoy your vacation?" asked Crowley dryly.
"Fun. Should have seen my friend's faces when they found out most of the trouble we had with hollows and soul reapers could have been handled with ordinary table salt. I think Uryu was joking about making something to launch large amounts of the stuff the next time he saw a reaper hanging around was a joke..." said Ichigo.
Then again considering how pissed off Uryu was when he found out the truth of soul reapers and the fact that even Death was angry over the whole mess with the Quincy, it was likely he would find a way to exploit the weakness.
Ichigo was immune because one, he was still technically alive, and two, Death happened to like his attitude.
Ichigo could care less what others did so long as they didn't threaten those close to him. The only time he would interfere would be if someone paid him or he had no other choice.
So Death upgraded his already strong defenses and made sure the next time the renegade reapers tried to drag him into their mess, he would be able to tell them to get lost.
Shirosaki in particular was pretty eager to try out the upgrade Death had given him. He would be able to leave Ichigo now without having to fight for control. Even Zangetsu would be able to move freely.
Sure they had to return back to Ichigo within a few hours, but it was a better arrangement than the one Ichigo had before when he had to fight Shiro for any degree of power from him.
Crowley snorted.
"Just to warn you, Lilith's been hanging around the area again."
Ichigo despised Lilith as much as Crowley did. It wasn't because she was a demon, but more towards her preference for children as hosts...and her little side kick Ruby.
He would have tried killing her if he had any real idea of what her power level was. Alistair he could at least stand for small periods of time, but Lilith outright pissed him off.
"Any assignments out of state?" Ichigo asked hopefully. Crowley smirked and brought out three. Ichigo glanced at the folders, before he waved back.
"See you when she's gone," said Ichigo.
Crowley snorted in agreement. Frankly it was easier to send him off to hunt rather than listen to him bitch about Ruby. The sooner he got rid of her, the happier every demon (and lone half-reaper) would be.
Ichigo had a headache. But for once it wasn't job related.
No, this headache was entirely because Crowley had given him a fake ID that claimed he was twenty-one when he was actually closer to twenty. The drinking age was lower in Japan, so Ichigo didn't really see any problem with trying alcohol.
The problem being that he somehow entered into a drinking contest with a hunter who evidently hadn't heard of the Japanese kid who went around clearing out certain nuisances.
He didn't know who Dean was, nor did he particularly care. Though he was amused to find that Dean also used a fake ID, because he looked only a couple of years older than Ichigo.
As a result of the impromptu contest, Ichigo now had a roaring hangover.
Kiba sensed that, and would quite cheerfully rip apart anyone stupid enough to bother Ichigo at the moment.
Dean was exceptionally lucky Ichigo always carried a full medical kit with him with aspirin. Otherwise he would have let his dog rip the hunter to shreds.
Ichigo was more than slightly annoyed Dean apparently had recognized him from rumors.
Considering they were actually after the same creature, Ichigo humored him long enough to team up.
"You know you kinda remind me of my little brother, Sam."
"Eh? You have siblings too?"
Dean looked proudly as he described his younger brother, while Ichigo told him of his twin sisters.
Ichigo had to admit, he rather liked the hunter. He still kept his trap shut about the fact he was actually employed by a crossroads demon.
Between the two of them, the ghost was taken out rather quickly.
Even if Ichigo hadn't know that most hunters tended to salt and burn the bones rather than let their inner homicidal monster out to eat the damn spirits. They still exchanged numbers though.
"I don't bloody believe it. You ran into the Righteous Man while dealing with a ghost?"
"Who?"
"Dean Winchester. The Righteous Man. Azazel has this whole game aimed towards tricking him into selling his soul and getting his brother Sam to open up a demon's gate to let his army out. And if that wasn't enough, Lilith has first dibs once Dean sells his soul," said Crowley.
"And this should matter to me why?"
"Dean goes to hell, then he gets punted straight to Alistair. Alistair does what he does best and Dean breaks, which opens one of the locks old Lucifer's cage," said Crowley.
"Wait, cage? You mean that weird glowing one in the deeper levels?" asked Ichigo.
"You've seen it? What were you doing that deep anyway?"
Ichigo shrugged.
"Shiro gets bored with the upper levels, and Alistair doesn't care if I let him loose on those in the racks. So while he's off on his homicidal binges, I explore hell. Once you get over the torture, screaming and the smell, it's actually pretty boring. Even my regional one had something going on the deeper you went," said Ichigo.
Plus there was usually something for him to fight in the regional hell without Shiro getting too bored.
"I really need to find something for you to do if you think exploring the pit is fun," deadpanned Crowley.
He then noticed the look Ichigo was giving a large bundle of folders on his desk. The ones he usually put together to keep the bored half-reaper out of his hair.
"I'll put a flat rate into your account while you act as a normal hunter, with extra for every case I send your way personally," he deadpanned.
"Deal."
Because Ichigo hated those crappy cheap motels, he used some of his savings to get a fairly modern RV, complete with free wifi (one of the perks for working with Crowley). Armed with several of the folders, a spare key to the manor through the little used side entrance in the event he needed an area to crash while healing from wounds and one of the newer cell phones so Crowley could contact him at any time, Ichigo set off.
He got to tour America and be paid to do it. So long as he at least warned Crowley when he planned to visit his sisters, the crossroads demon could care less where he was. With how much Lilith was sniffing around his personal manor just to try and steal the half-reaper from him, Crowley was glad to have the bored orange-haired man out of his hair, even if he was paying him.
Besides, hunting usually got his adrenaline fix taken care of for a few weeks.