Despite how Alice returned to what was now her normal life after that revelation, the scene of a human moving like a vampire never actually left her mind. In that one interaction Alice saw the strength she'd been robbed of, the possibility that despite her human body she wouldn't have to be powerless forever. When Alice had been a full vampire and comfortable in the knowledge that very few things could actually hurt her she might have been more dubious about joining what amounted to an active military force at six years old.
But this new Alice? The one who had everything ripped from her hands from the simple fact she hadn't been able to outrun or fight her attackers? That one was very interested. Selling away her soul be damned.
(And wouldn't Edward have had something to say about that because in his opinion vampires didn't have souls but well onto her to her second life Alice was inclined to disagree.)
The basic fact was she was weak, she no longer had the safety net vampirism provided and she was faced just with how low on the totem pole she had ended up here in this new life. A small, human orphan with no way to protect herself in the slums of an alien city.
Tsumugi had offhandedly criticized Shinobi and their kind(not enough to constitute having treasonous intentions but enough to express her displeasure) and Alice found that wasn't an uncommon opinion in the Majushage corridor, or even the Flower district in general. Nobody here particularly liked Shinobi. While it was a necessary part of living in a hidden village(and wasn't Alice confused about that because villages didn't usually have multiple cities) civilians avoided them like the plague, to them they were a necessary evil. Still any Shinobi that found themselves there in uniform would be subject to the barbed whispers of civilians that had long lost trust in the military force protecting them, they would be the center of attention and not any of the good kind.
According to Tsumugi when asked, Shinobi had for the most part abandoned the Flower district to the Yakuza's tender mercies. Gang wars destroyed their streets as different groups vied for territory and the government had done nothing. When the streets ran red with blood and whole families died in the slaughter the Hokage and his council had refused to act.
Only when the fighting bled out into the districts with money had any sort of policing been done. The Konoha Police force had pushed the Yakuza back into the Flower district and washed their hands of the situation.
They rarely intervened here and it showed.
The civilians felt abandoned by the inaction of their government and despite the fact that their districts and districts like them constituted Konohagakure's highest numbers of enlistment into their armed forces, here civilians openly disliked Shinobi as much as they were able to in what amounted to a military dictatorship. The government refused to act and ensure their safety and in their eyes that damned the whole Shinobi kind. It was a very delicate line they walked expressing themselves in that way but the people here knew what they could and couldn't get away with.
The lingering sentiment at the end of the day was that Shinobi kind didn't care about civilians.
Coming from where she did in the twenty first century, veterans were usually treated with respect for serving their country. But here, where voicing your opinion could mean treason, it was jarring to see the resentment that had taken root in the poorest areas of the Flower district.
Everyone knew that one of the easiest ways out was joining the military, that was the quickest way to stability and the ability to put food on the table. Everyone knew that many parents here enrolled their children to ensure they had better lives. And everyone knew that most street kids ended up Shinobi, what they called cannon fodder.
None of that did anything to dissuade her however. She never said a word about her plans though, she did what she did every morning. Woke up, helped Shuri and then on her set days went in to help Tsumugi at her shop. She worked in silence on the matter and continued to keep her head down.
Deeming her ready after months of shadowing the woman around her shop, Tsumugi had deemed her ready to start handling food. She never actually cooked but she helped prepare all the different meats to be cooked. Tsumugi was a proud woman, especially about her food, so being moved up to someone that actually helped cook was a big show of trust. Even Shuri had been surprised when Alice had told her.
Tsumugi had a reputation of never letting anyone help, not since her late husband.
"She must really like you Kiddo." Shuri had told her over breakfast. "She doesn't let just anyone help her behind the counter."
It was hard work but it was still the best way she'd found to distract herself from her thoughts, the exhaustion that kept the nightmares at bay.
And hadn't that been a terrible experience, having nightmares for the first time.
She'd woken up in a cold sweat with the memories of her slow and painful death. That death had not been a quick one and Alice did her best to just bury the thoughts when they came up. At those times the desire to just sign herself away to the government and join the Military Academy was at it's strongest.
Two months had passed by quickly and before she knew it, turned into three months than four. It had been almost four months since she'd been put here and Alice wanted nothing more to sell herself off to become a Shinobi. She said nothing, still wanting to take time to consider her options.
True to her being the catalyst to things Alice didn't want to deal with, Haru continued to harass Alice at every turn. Or she felt like it was harassment at least, Shuri told her it was Haru just trying to be her friend. Thankfully wherever Haru went Boru followed, the quiet voice of reason to her brand of insanity. While the girl was never antagonistic, didn't seem to have a mean bone in her body and went out of her way to include Alice in everything, Alice really didn't want to make friends.
If she had been the Alice of before she would have gotten along with the girl like a house on fire but as she was now she was just made of too many brittle edges to really allow herself to get close to anyone.
It was funny how she'd never saw herself as someone who didn't like kids but living with twelve of them in a space that was too small for them all really put things into perspective for her.
Some of the other children felt emboldened by Haru's efforts and unlike before when no one would talk to her, she found herself faced with a gaggle of children that wanted to play with her. They had been surprisingly dejected when she'd politely refused and Alice tried not to feel bad for the fact.
It was usually easy to avoid people and most interactions but with all of them living with each other in such a single house? It was impossible.
It was one of the days Alice had gone to Tsumuigs shop and true to form her body hurt. She ached in places she didn't think possible and all she wanted to do was come home, eat dinner and pass out. They had been slammed by customers and one particularly drunk customer had nearly thrown something at her before Tsumugi herself had grabbed the man and chucked him out of the shop.
Tsumugi was a strong woman for her age and Alicie had seen her throw people out of the shop before.
Her apparent exhaustion however did nothing to stop Haru. This had been one of the rare nights Shuri had been out of the house, visiting a friend she'd said. She'd taken the twins and Kenji along with her, the kids being too young to be left at the house with no actual adult present. She trusted Alice and some of the other kids but in the end, she'd decided to just bring them along.
The girl popped into her vision with that wide grin that never seemed to leave her face. (The thought of how similar they used to be hurt, how she was someone that had smiled easily and often without much thought). "Arisu-chan, Arisu-chan! Guess what?!"
"Haru, I'm sorry but I just got home and I'm tired. Can we not do this right now?"
"You always say that though!" Haru pouted. "You don't even know what's happening. Like I could have super exciting news and you don't even care!"
She leveled the girl with a look. "And I take it something exciting is happening."
"Absolutely!" She shifted excitedly from foot to foot, too much energy to stay still. "So I was at work and this lady comes in, she looked all fancy and stuff too so I was like, wow who is this? Anyways, she came in and talked with Akari-sensei who sent me away when they talked but guess what?"
She paused, apparently waiting for Alice's participation who just heaved a sigh and acquiesced. "What?"
"She said theres going to be a night market near here! An honest to Sage night market." Haru practically burst with excitement, the girl was vibrating at this point. "There's never been a night market here Arisu-chan! I've never been able to go to one before and now there's going to be one tonight. We have to go!"
"A night market here? That doesn't sound safe." It actually sounded fairly suspicious too. There were no public events like night markets that happened here. There were a few markets in general that operated during the day but an actual night market here?
That didn't sound right to Alice.
"No, its totally not suspicious or anything at all. Sensei and that lady were talking about it so I know its on the up and up. That's why Boru and I are going and we wanted to invite you too"
"There's no way Shuri approved this outing."
While the woman was generally hands off with how she treated the children in her care one of the things she refused to budge on was that the kids needed to be inside after dark. It was just too dangerous for them to be roaming around themselves once night fell.
"Well no." She said sheepishly. "But! But we'll be back before she even comes home. She'll never know!"
"There's no way Shuri won't figure you left the house."
The woman was many things but a hawk when it came to the safety of her charges was one of them.
"Whatever, she'll never notice! Come with us Arisu-chan. Look, I even have a knife just in case!" She pulled out a kunai from the waistband of her pants and displayed the thing proudly.
"Is that one of Shuri's kunai?"
"N-no! I found this one, its totally mine." Given how the other girl couldn't even look Alice in the eye she was obviously lying.
Alice decided to leave that tidbit of information and looked over at Boru, who stood fidgeting nervously and suspiciously quiet. "And you're okay going along with this?"
"We-well not r-really. B-but som-someone has to g-go along with Haru a-and make sure she's o-okay.
"Hey! Don't lie Boru you totally wanna go to."
Boru said nothing.
"So you in?"
"Haru." Alice said perhaps more harshly than she'd liked. "You cannot go out at night. This is beyond dangerous and you don't even know if it's a real thing. If there was really going to be a night market here we would've hear about it beforehand."
"Are you calling sensei and her friend a liar?!"
"I'm not, i'm just saying think this through. It sounds suspicious."
"Yknow, you always do this! We always invite you places and you always act like you're so much better than us and like you can't be bothered. I thought this one time would be different but I guess it wasn't." She spat. "Well c'mon Boru, it'll be just the two of us."
Alice could've just let them leave, could have washed her hands of the situation and let them suffer the consequences of their own decision. But even hurt and more broken than she'd ever been, Alice was never that type of person. These were two children about to put themselves in danger and Alice was once again frustrated by her lack of strength, that she couldn't just forcibly keep them here.
It didn't help that she was struck headlong with a vision, a violent one. In it, Boru and Haru wandered the streets looking for a night market. They never found what they were looking for. Instead, a group of two men had noticed them early on and trailed after the duo, all hungry eyes and bad inventions. Haru was grabbed first and though she fought tooth and nail it didn't help her as the man dragged her into a nearby alley. Boru was killed outright.
Alice blinked away the image of Boru's lifeless body and Haru screaming for help and cursed, These kids we're gonna die if she didn't do something.
"Wait!" She shouted after them as they walked away. "Give me a minute okay? I'm sorry I made you feel like I was looking down on you or anything. I'd be happy to go with you but I just need a second okay? I just got home so I need to grab something."
Haru looked stunned and even Brou looked speechless. Which was fair considering how so far Alice had always turned them down and how she had suddenly apologized.
The duo shared a look, having a whole conversation with their eyes when Haru nodded and turned back to Alice.
"Fine. But hurry up, I wanna make sure we get enough time there."
Alice wasted no time at all in running to the third bedroom and flinging open the closet. She grabbed the heavy box hidden behind the piles of clothes and heaved the thing toward her. Inside were an absurd amount of kunai and shuriken and she even saw those needles Kyo had used. Careful not to cut herself, Alice grabbed a kunai and much like Haru stuffed the thing in her waistband.
She really hoped that this thing wouldn't cut her, she no longer had the diamond hard skin she used to.
"Alright." She said finally. "Let go."
Haru let out an exuberant whoop of excitement and made a grab for Alice's hand and for once Alice actually let her. So far her presence hadn't changed the visions much, just included her in the violence. And if it wasn't strange seeing her dead body just tossed haphazardly in the street.
It was obvious the men had spotted them early into their journey, her visions showed her where they were and when that choice was made. She had a few options here, she could try and get Haru to take a different path or she could play it out and hope for the best case scenario with the men dead and them with minor injuries.
As Alice was being dragged along by a boisterous Haru she dug her feet into the ground.
"Why don't we go this way?" She said once she had their attention.
"It's gonna be this way Arisu-chan, we have to go this way."
Alice sincerely cursed having to deal with children.
"Please, can we go this way?" Alice finally blurt out, refusing to move.
"Look if you don't wanna do this then you should go home Arisu-chhan!" Haru yelled, startling a drunk man on the opposite end of the street. "Now d'you wanna do this or not because if not then we can walk you home."
Alice saw that decision led to the same outcome, eventually they would pass the men and eventually they would be hunted
"Fine" She bit out finally. "Lets go."
"It's okay Arisu-chan, big sis Haru is here so you don't have to worry."
Alice at this point was doing nothing but paying attention to her surroundings and the constant bombardment of visions as she played through the choices she had so all she could do was grunt in affirmation as Haru dragged her away. Boru looked entirely apologetic but said nothing as he too followed along.
And so the Majuhage faded into the distance. It was strange seeing the slums that had been her entire world the handful of months she had spent here morph into a wholly new area that was just as bad, if not worse. The buildings stopped being buildings with thick foundations and slanted, ruined roofs and turned into a strange little shanty town. Men stood on street corners brandishing their swords and there were more people openly doing drugs here then Alice had ever seen.
This was one of the areas ruled by the Majin-gumi. From what Alice had inferred from Tsumugi, the Majin-gumi tended to make their money off of extortion, kidnapping and of course the rampant drug trade. While the Majin-gumi's main money maker was their massive export of methamphetamines, the Shibito-kai focused mostly on the distribution of opiates in conjunction with human trafficking and extortion. Out of the two, while both were violent, the Majin-gumi tended to be the more creatively violent sort and seemed to take joy in trying to intimidate their rival gangs.
And here they were stepping right into the fire and Alice knew without a doubt they were going to burn.
Haru had started to look more and more nervous as they stumbled deeper into Majin-gumi territory and Boru had long since given up trying to hide his nerves. As they continued further into the shanty town the amount of people doing drugs only increased, fights were breaking out and in one case a group of four men took to viciously beating another. The man had been finished with the swing of a sword and they had run further along to avoid seeing them grizzly outcome.
"I-I don't understand." Haru finally said as they stopped in the middle of an almost empty street, long since passing the more chaotic area"T-this is w-where she said it'd be."
"H-haru, w-we need to go b-b-ack,"
"No it should be here! This is where the lady said it was. I know it" She sounded near tears and Alice briefly closed her eyes and prayed that they would get through what was about to happen.
"Wow," A man slunk forward out of the darkness behind them, he was sleazy and looked as if he hadn't showered in a week. "I never expected to find kids out here, especially in this area. What are you kids doing out here so late?"
Alice confirmed that just behind the man was his friend, the other man she'd seen in her vision. The one that would end Boru's life. Alice wished that Haru would have listened to her and wished desperately that she would've been at the orphanage getting ready for bed like she'd originally planned..
"Um we were just looking around for the night market but uh we're actually on our way back home." Haru was visibly nervous as she stepped in front of Alice, as if to shield her.
"Y-yeah. We-we're just going t-t-to be going b-back home now." Boru followed her lead and stepped between them and her.
Alice realized with a sudden jolt of something warm that they were protecting her. While she hadn't been mean to them, she also hadn't been nice. She'd run away from them at every opportunity and had turned them down every single time they tried to include her. She wasn't a friend and she wasn't even someone they really knew beyond a few words.
And yet, despite being terrified, they moved to shield her from the two men.
"Night market? Now that sounds like fun, I haven't been to one of those in years. Why don't we help you kids look for it.. I'm Naruhito and this is Tatsuo."
"N-no"." Haru stammered. "I mean, no thank you. Thank you for offering but um w-we're j-j-just gonna go back home so t-thanks again but we have to get going."
"Now don't be like that sweetheart." Tatsuo pipped up coyly, he was just as sleazy looking as his friend. "I think you'd have a good time if you came with us."
"We're good, thanks! Our mom is waiting for us" Haru fibbed, still shaking as she did so. "So we need to get going. We don't want her to worry."
Alice knew what was going to happen before she did and she was powerless to stop it. Haru had tightened her hold and made a move to start running, Boru already getting ready to follow along, when the man Naruhito sped forward and violently yanked Haru towards him. The girl screamed and before Boru could even try to pry the other man off Tatsuo had kicked him to the ground. Naruhito was in the process of dragging Haru away when the other man raised a fist to strike at Boru and Alice was left once more with the frustration at how weak she'd become.
But they had tried to protect her and she had never been one to let something like this happen. Her visions told her everything she needed to do before hand, told her that she had one shot at this.
They told her she could actually do something.
The world sharpened into cold, harsh clarity and her vision narrowed down to the man trying to drag Haru away. Her thoughts turned of as she fell into motions of a body that was older and much different than this one. She grabbed the kunai in her waistband and sped forward, moving at a speed too fast for a human child but nowhere near what a vampire could accomplish and sliced at the mans ankles. She would reflect later on how she had the strength to do something like that as a five year old but for now she stayed focused on the moment.
The man went down hard and before he could get his bearings back Alice climbed up his back and just as he turned to swat her off she slammed the kunai into the soft meat of his neck and tore.
Dark red in the even darker night, blood sprayed like a fountain from the wound. Turned as he was Alice ended up with a mouthful of arterial spray and though she had seen this happening nothing could have actually prepared her for the reality.
It was sweet, not overly so but sweet in a way that left your mouth watering with an undercurrent of a mystery flavor that only seemed to escape you the more you drank. There were no words that could describe the way it tasted, only that she wanted more of it. It was heavenly in a way she hadn't tasted since she was a newborn and she wanted more of it. She needed more of it.
Her body was buzzing with something that was just as intoxicating, she felt strong. Felt as if she could take a hundred men and keep going.
Shock at being able to drink blood warred with that deep hunger every vampire burned with and she didn't realize Tatsuo had stepped away from a struggling Boru until he'd kicked her so hard she was sprawled in the dirt. Her ribs ached something fierce and every time she tried to breathe it hurt.
"You stupid little bitch!" He hissed and grabbed a handful of her hair to yank her full off the ground, her scalp burning. "You think you can just do whatever you want and be fine? No. That's not how the adult world works sweetheart. You're gonna have to pay for this shit,"
"Fuck you."
He raised a fist but before he could, just as she'd seen in her visions, he let out a pained shout and tumbled to the side. She fell against the dirt floor hard and was able to see that Haru had used her own kunai to stab into the mans leg. He recovered quickly and leapt at her, fists swinging to do his best to beat her to death. Haru had risked herself and had given her the best opportunity.
The only opportunity.
She ran forward once more and leapt onto the mans back and with all her strength, before he could throw her off, she slammed the kunai into his neck. She hit something hard and as the man toppled over, dousing Haru in a river of blood, she realized distantly she had struck bone.
Just like his friend he drowned in his own blood and Alice felt nothing but relief that she had survived.
She probably would have taken more time to breathe but the sight of Haru shanking and white as a sheet broke through the calm that had settled over her. She was bruised, the whole right of her face a molted mess and she looked like something from a horror movie covered in all that blood. Boru was already by her side, arms steady around her as he held her despite the gore.
She looked like she was going to start hyperventilating.
Alcie stood before her and as gently as possible placed her hands on either side of her cheeks, trying to get the girl to focus. "Haru, I know you're scared and I know you're probably having trouble thinking clearly right now but we need to go back home."
"H-home?"
"Yeah. Back home to Shuri."
"B-but I-I stabbed him. I- I actually stabbed him and n-now he's dead."
"You did exactly what you needed to do Haru." She kept the girl looking at her and nothing else. "You did absolutely nothing wrong. He was going to hurt you, hurt us. You did what you had to, understand?"
Haru couldn't keep in the sob that wrenched itself from her throat.
"Now we have to get out of here. I know it's hard but you need to stand up, we need to get home."
Haru stood on wobbly legs and grabbed at her hand, her other in Boru's own shaking grip. This time it was Alice that led them back and unsurprisingly no one decided to talk to a group of children that were covered in blood, Boru still stained with it from when he'd wrapped himself around Haru.
It took less time than she thought and when the orphanage came into view Alice couldn't help the feeling of gratitude that took over to actually be back at the orphanage. They ran into Shuri who was already on her way out and looking like she was going to war. Weapons pouches were strapped to arms and legs and she had two swords hanging at her hip. The look in her eyes was one like she would set the place ablaze if she didn't get what she wanted, that nothing would stand in her way.
The second she saw them she rushed forward in that blinding speed. She was already on her knees before Haru who was the most battered of the three. Shuri took one look at all the blood, bruises and tears and Alice found that intense look at her and looking for everything like she was doing her damndest to look at every bit of what made Alice, Alice.
"Whatt the hell happened?!" She demanded as she gingerly prodded at Haru's face and neck.
That seemed to be Harus breaking point and she fully broke down into heaving sobs, clinging to Shuris neck for dear life. The woman didn't seem fazed at getting stained with blood from the embrace, only clung just as tight to Haru holding her like she had almost lost her whole world and here she was holding it in her two arms.
Boru himself broke down into tears, silent things that sent full shudders through him. Shuri didn't even hesitate to open one of her arms and before she knew it she had an armful of two sobbing children,
Shuri continued to stare at the blood and when she found Alice, who was as calm as anything, she gave her a questioning glance. It wasn't a stern look, she was too worried and entirely too fond of her for that but it did ask what happened.
"We ended up going out, there was supposed to be some sort of night market. There were two men. They tried to attack us."
Alice found grim understanding there and Shuri processed the information, There wasn't any sort of judgment and there wasn't even a hint of pity. Shuri understood the full severity of what had happened and her only concern was making sure everyone was okay.
"Any of you hurt? Beyond bruises?"
Haru nuzzled closer into the woman's embrace but shook her head and Boru made a noise in the negative, They were shaking in her arms.
"There are some bruises. Boru and Haru were hit, punched and kicked but I don't think anythings broken, we should check just in case."
"And you kiddo?"
"I got kicked pretty hard and my ribs hurt but I don't think anything is broken."
Shuri looked just as calm as Alice and she cataloged all that information. . "Okay kiddos here's what's going to happen, we're gonna go inside and I'm gonna check to make sure you're okay and you don't have any serious injuries. Then we're gonna get all three of you in the shower and then we're all going to go to bed."
"Are you mad?" Haru blubbered and held on tighter.
"I'm absolutely furious." Haru and Boru both flinched. "But more than that I'm so so glad you came back to me in one piece. That's all that matters right now."
She held open her other arm as much as trying to embrace two crying children could allow her and nodded at Alice."Get in here kiddo."
Alice didn't hesitate to include herself in the incredibly uncomfortable hug. It was awkward and Harus elbows were hitting her already bruised ribs but in spite of that it was warm. It was warm and welcoming in a way she hadn't felt since she'd been with the Cullens.
While she didn't know how to feel about that at the moment she didn't care. She was sore, tired and honestly really just wanted that shower.
—-
It was late into the night when after checking everyone for injures and only finding superficial wounds and having everyone shower, Shuri had finally sent Boru and Haru to bed. Alice had originally tried to sleep but her body was still buzzing. Not with that otherworldly energy that had her feel like she was on fire but with a restlessness that came with having a lot on her mind. So it was well into the night, now morning, where Alice found herself just sitting on the porch, letting the cold bite of the night time air distract her.
Alice was someone who was someone who was over two hundred years old. She had killed before, especially in those early days. She had woken up one day to life as a vampire to a constant burning in her throat and a bone deep need to just devour. Those days had been hard, she'd tried her best to keep herself from hurting anyone but it was often she'd slip and people would end dead.
There had even been times as a vampire when she been forced to kill other vampires, territory disputes were brutal things and though it happened less with the Cullens when it had been just her she'd been forced to defend herself and it always ended up in death.
She didn't regret killing those two men tonight, they were vile human beings that had planned something truly horrific. But more than that they had posed a threat to her and to the people around her, it was a situation where it was her or them and every single time she'd choose herself. It was a matter of survival and at the end of the day while she was now human, she had originally been a vampire.
And vampires survived.
Alice wasn't at all surprised when Shuri had come out to join her, leaning against the railing, There was a comfortable silence between them and even after listening to everything that had happened that night, there still remained no judgment or disgust. She looked as she did at any moment of the day, generally unfazed and overall like she was taking life at her own pace.
Alice knew that Shuri was aware she really wasn't like the other children. Not just that Alice was strange but in the way she was too mature for her apparent age, the way she thought and how she perceived the world was not the way a child would. Tonight had to have solidified that fact because if a five year old killed two men and looked like nothing had happened even she would have been conscened. And that was taking into consideration this new world's morals and ethics.
"So." She finally said. "You killed two people tonight."
It wasn't a question.
"I did."
Shuri's voice was calm and her body was relaxed, again as Alice looked she still couldn't find any judgment there even though she thought Shuri was a bit crazy for not doing so. She didn't look even the least bit disturbed by her statement and Alice's answer.
"I'm not gonna assume how you're feeling right now kid but I can tell you I know what it's like to take a life. You're not alone."
Alice nodded in response but didn't really have it in her to talk much.
"Y'know when I was about ten? I think I was ten at least. I graduated early and at the time I was so excited at that fact. To me, I was finally a real Shinobi and I was so proud of myself for graduating early. At the time the tensions on the border between Konoha and Iwa were rising and I didn't know they were preparing for war, they graduated anyone they could risk losing."
"My genin team and I had our first mission out of the village right as tensions were beginning to boil over. It was a delivery mission, just a standard non important delivery mission and we were ambushed in the middle of it. Iwagakure thought we were skirting just a little to close to one of their territories and I ended up taking my first life that day."
Alice let her talk, knowing what was coming.
"That day I took my first life and in the course of the the war I took many more. My first kill was the hardest and though it never got easier I grew numb to it. However you feel right now? That's fine. If you feel guilty, you have no need to but you can if you want. If you feel sick that's fine too. And if you don't feel anything? Theres nothing wrong with that. No matter what happens I'll always be here to listen to you if you want to talk and I hope that at some point you do. If not me then at least someone else."
"Thank you Shuri. I'm…okay, just processing I guess."
"Understandable." She said with a nod."You protected them you know. Those two told me everything and if you hadn't been there they would've died."
"I wasn't going to just abandon them or let them get hurt."
Shuri gave her a wry smile. "Of course not."
The wind whipped softly and finally Alice was feeling the extent of the cold. She curled into herself for more warmth and cursed the fact her jacket had been soaked in blood and needed a thorough washing.
"I already told the other two but I need you to know that absolutely nothing happened tonight, Do you understand? You three stayed home tonight and were here the entire time."
"Do you expect the police to be a problem?"
It was a strange statement given how little a presence the Konoha Military Police had in this area but Shuri was obviously worried about something. It wasn't like people would think it strange to wake up to two abandoned corpses, it happened often here.
"It's not the police I'm worried about."
"The Yakuza?"
Shuri just gestured in the negative before she took a second to organize her thoughts and sigh, a deep, weary thing. "Kids like you Arisu-chan, smart kids, especially smart kids with a body count, they don't stay around for very long. They tend to disappear and no one knows what happened except that they were there one minute and the next they're gone. You're an orphan too. The village won't blink an eye if you just disappear one day just like it didn't when all the other orphans went missing."
That last part was spat out bitterly.
"What happens?"
"No one knows." Shuri continued darkly. "No one knows and no one cares. You show any sort of promise and you're gone. We had a girl here a few years back, her name was Yuki-chan and she was absolutely brilliant. She was smarter than most of the other kids and she was a young thing not much older than you. She'd joined civilian school, actually managed to get in, and ended up skipping several grades."
"They couldn't keep her with those her age, she was too advanced even though she would've been only seven at the time. I didn't know about any of this at the time so I encouraged her to push herself and further her education. One day, Yuki-chan didn't come home. It was strange because she always came home at the same time. I checked in with the school and she hadn't made it there either. I spent so long looking for her after that but every trail I could find came up cold."
"That's when I learned about the other disappearances and how they were an open secret here. I don't know if it happens in other places in Konohagakure but I know for sure it's common in the flower district. You understand why I'm telling you all this don't you Arisu-chan?"
"You're worried I'll be targeted if this gets out."
"You'll absolutely be targeted. You are a five year old child, there should've been no way in hell you would've been able to face two adult not only did you do exactly that, you protected the two other kids and killed your attackers with minimal injuries to yourself and your friends. You aren't like the other kids Arisu-chan, you are more advanced and far more mature than you have any right to be. As soon as anyone figures that out you're going to be in danger and I won't be able to protect you."
"So like I said earlier, nothing happened. You were home with all the other kids as far as anyone needs to know."
Alice showed Shuri she agreed but her mind was whirling with the information. There were disappearances that were apparently commonplace here and the fact she couldn't act like an actual five year old had the ability to put her in the crosshairs of whatever was taking random children from the slums. She thought of her desire to join the Military Academy and went cold at how there was no way in hell she was going to be able to pretend she was just some normal human child.
She just wasn't one and her acting skills were more focused on pretending to be a human teenager, not a young child.
Apparently saying her piece Shuri gave Alice a tired smile and patted her on the head. "You did a good job Arisu-chan. No matter what, be proud that you managed to protect yourself and the other two. And remember, I'm always here to talk. You don't have to deal with this alone."
With that she returned inside and left Alice feeling confused and conflicted.
She wanted, needed, to join the Military Academy. She needed the strength and she needed the power but to risk being kidnapped just for being a bit advanced? Was it really worth the risk?
Looking at her tiny hand Alice realized it absolutely was. She needed to be able to protect herself and if she played her cards right she would be able to defend herself from whatever was taking children.
Beyond that, she thought on the night and reflected that though it had been one disaster after another Alice had learned something new about herself; that she wasn't quite as human as she'd originally been led to believe.
In that fight she had moved quicker than should be possible for a human child, especially a five year old child. She was faster and stronger and it should've been impossible for her to slash a grown man's ankles, much less slit the throats of two. It was nowhere near where she had been as a vampire, nowhere near where the shinobi Kyo had been, but the fact remained that she wasn't as weak as a normal child should be.
She almost laughed at the idea of being a normal child. Normal children hadn't died twice, normal children weren't secretly vampires that had once been over two hundred years old. Normal children didn't have blood on their hands before they'd even reached their first decade.
Even with all that she'd done something she thought she would never do again in this life, she'd drunk human blood. And not just that but the sweetness that had coated her tongue had been the experience of a vampire. Just a mouthful of arterial spray had given her the knowledge that she could drink blood as a vampire could.
And even stranger was the buzzing energy she felt afterwards, how for a brief moment she'd felt invincible.
Ironically it seemed, she could drink blood but she only had human teeth with which to do so. Such a strange place to be.
As the night continued on in the face of everything Alice was left realizing while she wasn't a vampire she wasn't completely human either. She was some strange mix of human and vampire and not even in the same way Renesmee had been. Alice was some unholy mixture of the two. Despite that though Alice had also protected the two other children that night, in her small, vulnerable body with none of the strength she used to have. Yet she was still able to keep them safe. To keep herself safe.
The thoughts of her time at the mercies of the three nomads were forever burned in her mind, would likely always be so. But that night, in spite of the violence she'd faced, Alice felt more peaceful than she had in a long while.
She had protected herself, she had fought tooth and nail for her survival and came out the other end the victor. It was one small victory for herself but one Alice had never known she'd needed.
—-
The following morning was as typical as any at the Hanako orphanage and it almost seemed like nothing had changed. Like there hadn't been any violence and like Alice hadn't fought for her life and the life of two other children. Dawn came and with it a new day. The older children made breakfast, everyone ate together and as some of the older kids started filtering out for the day, Alice helped Shuri as per usual. It was average in every way.
Save for when Haru pulled Alice to the side, Boru for once not being by her side.
The girl looked terrible, the entire right side of her face was molted black and purple and swollen, the swelling making it so that she could barely see out her eye. Haru was more subdued than Alice had ever seen her. Usually she was all loud words and big gestures but today she was quiet and fidgeting nervously with her hands.
She didn't even ask for Alice to question why she had pulled her to the side just let out everything she seemed to have been holding in.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry." She began, warbling out the words. "You told us last night that it wasn't safe and we didn't listen. I was stupid and dumb and I didn't listen. It should have been obvious there wasn't a night market here and I should've just listened to what you were saying. We could've gotten hurt really bad or worse and it would've been all my fault."
For a brief moment, Alice saw herself. The girl who had wanted to make a spontaneous decision and go out on her own for a bit and ended up paying the price. How her mind constantly went over the way things could have been different. For the first time Alice had met Haru she'd found common ground where she wasn't expecting it.
She could've been mad at Haru, it would have been justifiable. But seeing her hunched into herself now how she was looking like a kicked puppy took all the wind out of her sails. Not that she had any wind in them in the first place.
"It's okay, we all make mistakes, Haru. It's not the end of the world."
"But I made you have to k-kill two people. You're supposed to be the baby but when we were in that situation I couldn't do anything." She wiped away the tears that had started to fall. "I'm supposed to be the big sis."
"You didn't make me kill anyone. Those two made their own choices and that's why they died, it had nothing to do with you. Plus you did do something"
"I did?
"You stabbed that guy in the leg, I wouldn't have been able to do what I did if you hadn't." She pointed out. "You were terrified and yet you still did something. We wouldn't have been able to get out of that if you hadn't."
"D-do you h-hate me now?" Haru hiccuped softly at that and had given up trying not to cry, "I-I di-didn't mean to put you in danger."
"I don't hate you at all Haru."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Before she could even blink Haru had her in a bone crunching hug.
"Thank you Arisu-chan." Pulling back she gave Alice a watery smile. "D'you wanna come with Boru and I later today? We both have the day off and we wanted to go to the lake."
Usually Alice would say no, she'd turn them away and isolate herself from everyone but Shuri and Tsumugi. Alice didn't want to be around other people and she almost told the girl as such but something stopped her. She was completely fine because mentally she was was a vampire that was much older. She'd taken innocent lives before and had been long since desensitized to the act of death.
But these two? They were legitimately eleven year old children, both emotionally and intellectually. That had been what was probably a traumatizing experience for them and something that would scar them forever. They didn't have the luxury of age she did.
So instead, she bit back her usual response. "Sure, I'll be helping out Shuri for a while but I should be free around two if you guys don't mind waiting,
Haru looked surprised, which was fair considering that Alice had never once agreed to be around them save for last night, before a positively exuberant expression broke out on her face. She looked like Christmas had come early and Alice tried not to feel guilty,
She failed.
"We can totally wait! I'm so excited, I can't wait to tell Boru!" Thankfully the girls tears seemed forgotten and she flashed Alice another smile before bounding away. Presumably to find Boru.
Alice was met with a smug Shuri, who'd been watching the whole interaction with amusement.
"It doesn't mean anything Shuri, this is just a one time thing."
She just snorted.
—-
It did not end up being a one time thing.
As time tends to do it rolled forth in spite of the death of the two men and the lasting trauma they'd left behind. The weather had begun to get colder, apparently being Flower month(the months here being labeled as the elements and different aspects of them, it was comparable to October),and Alice was grateful for the old jacket she'd been given. It was an old black thing that wasn't too heavy but warm enough to keep her from the chill that had started creeping forth. It had apparently once been Boru's and Alice was more than happy to commandeer the thing.
Alice spent the morning of her seven and a half month here in this world contemplating her old life and missing her family beyond a doubt. Her love for them had turned into some twisted thing that chocked the breath from her lungs, it hurt sometimes even just to breathe the force with which she loved them. She could still feel it like a physical thing and she wondered if it would ever stop feeling like such a fresh thing, if she even wanted it not to because for it not to hurt would mean her past was well and truly gone.
Jaspers loss felt like someone had torn out a piece of her and left behind this gaping hole, like nothing would ever make her feel whole again. And she knew within herself that if feeling the pain would allow her to keep a part of him with her she'd gladly suffer.
He was her other half, her soulmate and even if it was just keeping the idea of him in her mind, Alice wasn't willing to ever let him go. Would never be willing to let him go. She spent so many nights praying this was all a dream only to find herself disappointed when she woke in the morning. Waking up had long been a practice in disappointment and Alice felt fresh waves of regret each time.
This land was strange, it was an alien place that was some anachronistic mix of the nineties and ancient Japan. And the more she learned, the less sense it made.
She was thankful that at least meant modern plumbing, and wasn't that a strange thing to have to get used to as a human, but at the same time it left her scrambling for footing as she tried to figure out her place here. It was a blend of ancient and modern cultures that usually just left her reeling with just how out of place she was here. How the fact she was no longer in her time period really started to hit home.
Just like with Shuri, being unmarried as old as she was, was apparently as taboo as her past as a shinobi. Women were able to fight here, and in fact it was expected of them but Civilian women performed more like what the women of old had, differing to a men and placing themselves in typically passive roles. The members of the flower district had long been at odds with shinobi and it showed.
Like how Shuri being unmarried as old as she was, much less her past as a Shinobi, was a cultural taboo she wasn't really prepared for. Here women married in their teens, they were expected to find husbands and birth successors to keep the family going. Many women had their marriages arranged by their families, usually woman of more affluent birth, and for a woman to be past twenty with no child much less no husband was absolutely shameful.
Women were born to passive roles, most were expected to stay home to take care of the family. They were expected to be quiet, submissive things that existed for the sakes of their husbands. For birthing children.
Failure to follow those norms didn't just leave you as the odd man out, it left you shunned which Shuri still found herself because of her refusal to find a husband. She wasn't treated kindly by the other residents of the Manjushage corridor and the Flower district as a whole. People gossiped behind her back, turned their noses at her and there were even places that refused her service.
It was like she was a leper in their society but when Alice had asked her about it one day she seemed fairly unbothered by it.
"It used to bother me." She admitted one day while they watched over Arata and Asami, the two had taken to drawing on the walls when they weren't being watched so they often had to keep a close eye on them. "When my team mates and family first died I remember it hurting a lot. I remember there was even a time when I got really sick but the local doctors refused to treat me, that was probably the hardest part. After a while I just got used to it and people have calmed down the longer I stay here so it's not all like it used to be."
Shuri was so blunt about it Alice wondered how she was able to so willingly just talk about these things.
Beyond trying to navigate the strange social culture Alice often found herself being dragged away in the moments she wasn't busy at the orphanage or at Tsumugi's shop. Haru was as exuberant as ever and had taken Alice's agreement to hang out with them and just ran with it. If Alice was being honest she was impressed.
What was supposed to have been just one outing turned into several.
The lake had turned out to be their favorite place to frequent though calling it a lake was being generous. Really it was a small watering hole around with they'd built a park around, the jungle gym and equipment looking like just touching it would give you tetanus. Alice was pretty sure she saw more needles lying on the ground that day than any of what Carlise had brought home to be stored in the house. And he'd had a whole clinic's worth.
"It's kinda run down." Haru had told her as they sat in the thick grass around the lake, thankfully needle free. "But people don't come out this way as much anymore so it's quiet."
"Why don't people come out here?" Besides the obvious reasons.
"T-the murders,"
Alice took a moment to take that in before deadpanning. "And you guys still come out here?"
"We're not in any danger here, I promise. For real this time. There was a big gang fight here about a year ago and a lot of people died. So a lot of people don't come here any more because they're afraid of their restless spirits or something."
"And somehow you two are okay with that?"
"W-well n-nothings happened so far. S-s-so we're okay. Pl-plus i'm not super r-r-religous like that."
Alice could only sigh and bemoan that these children seemed to have no survival instincts. Mass murder happened here? Perfect place to hang out. Not like the gangs could come back or anything.
Quite frankly despite being born and living in the slums they didn't have as much street acumen as she would've expected. She know Shuri had done her damndest to provide as much of a normal childhood as she could but she also knew that these kids had also seen some pretty horrific things. In some areas they acted more as she would expect street kids and others they didn't.
Boru took everything in stride and Haru was just generally unbothered by any of it. Together they were generally ambivalent to most of what happened around them.
And that was the thing too, she got to know Boru. It was easy to dismiss him as Haru's shadow but when you took the time to actually talk to him that wasn't the case. He was someone who had a very dry sense of humor and who prided himself on knowing what he called 'a bunch of useless facts'. He was quick as a whip and enjoyed talking about nature and all the random things he learned over the years.
He was pleasant to be around overall and the more time they ended up all spending together, usually at the park, the less Alice felt like she was forcing herself to be apart of them.
It was easy to get caught up in their offers of friendship.
"Y-you have a re-really pretty smile Arisu-chan" Boru had told her one day as they all basked in the heat of the sun, trying to find some relief from just how cold it had started becoming. He'd stopped calling her Curren-san after the first few times they had all spent time together. "Y-you should smile more, you always look really sad. Like you're not happy at all. Wh-when you smile y-you actually seem your age."
Alice had laughed at that but thanked him anyway for his kind words.
Beyond spending time with the two children, Alice thought a lot on the night she'd been able to drink blood as a human being. She thought about her augmented strength and speed and decided testing things out would be a good idea.
The speed and strength had been easy to test, she had first tried basic running in a secluded area at the park. Her legs had burned and she could barely breathe at the time but she was grinning with the knowledge she was indeed faster than other human children. There was a sense of glee there about pushing her limits and finding out new things about herself.
Her strength she had to be a bit more covert about, she would find things to lift at the house when no one was watching; the coffee table, various chairs things of that sort. She'd even been able to lift a heavy branch she was sure would've been impossible for a child her age to lift. While she wasn't stronger than an adult would have been she still had more strength than she'd realized.
Unfortunately she hadn't been able to test being able to drink blood. The first of her problems were that her teeth were completely human, she didn't have the typical vampire fangs for blood drinking. The next one was while she had planned to drink animals to try it out, she wasn't physically able to just go out a catch some to use. And she didn't know human ways of trapping animals so until she learned, it was something she reluctantly put on the backburner.
While she burned with curiosity and a desperate need to reclaim apart of herself she had to be logical about the whole thing.
It was also then that she'd finally decided to follow through with her decision about joining the Military Academy. She had heard everyone's differing opinions on Shinobi, from Tsumugis firm disapproval to Shuri's matter of fact recounting of her time as a genin and chunin. It wasn't a decision she was making lightly and she understood that being a Shinobi here would put her at odds with the civilians in the the area. That all the unkind things she had heard directed at other ninja would be pointed her way.
Besides Tsumugi and Shuri however, Alice didn't much care what anyone else thought. The only person she was worried about was Tsumugi but she was fully prepared to see deal with the consequences of her choices
After all, she did not need to be well liked but she did need to not be powerless.
It was a day like any other when she finally gathered the courage to ask Shuri. If Alice was being honest she had been scared, scared Shuri would look at her differently or that it would change something in their relationship with one another.
She'd used her visions to see the outcome of that conversation but despite knowing what would happen, her nerves were still there. They had been in the middle of deep cleaning the living room, Shuri had been in the middle of sweeping out the large room while Alice dusted and polished. Usually when they worked together like this they didn't talk to much, there wasn't much a need to. And Alice found the longer she'd stayed in this world the quieter she'd become.
"How would you go about entering the MIlitary Academy?" She spat out, back to Shuri and polishing the same spot she had been for the last minute.
Shuri, to her credit, barely paused as she continued to sweep. No matter what Alice asked Shuri the woman was always calm and treated her questions like nothing she could every say would surprise her. Which went a long way to help her own nerves.
"You looking to enter?"
"I would like to. I've been thinking about it for a while."
That was when Shuri actually did pause to look up at Alice and their was that way she had about her where it felt like she was dissecting you on the spot. "Kid, do you even know what it means to enter the academy? Or to become a shinobi?"
"Becoming part of Konohagakure's military?"
"That's… technically true but it's more than that. Right now you have a choice, you can choose what you want to do and how you live your life. You don't get that as a shinobi, as a shinobi you have no choice. You become a dog of the state in every manner of speaking, if they say bark you bark. If they say jump you say how high. It means being put in danger and while others would deny it, it means being nothing more than a piece on the board where your superiors would easily throw you away."
Her words were harsh but she continued. "It means being put in danger constantly. That thing you did to those two men? You'll be expected to be doing a lot more than that, you'll be expected to be the bad guy in a lot of peoples stories and you'll be forced to make terrible choices you don't want to make. It's bloody, dangerous and thankless work. So are you really interested in joining or is this a passing thing? You need to be real sure before you make this kind of decision."
"I'm not going to lie and say I know exactly how most of that stuff is like but I do know that I want to be able to protect myself. I can't stay a powerless child, I just can't. I want power and if that means becoming a shinobi and signing away my life then I will. I've thought this through as much as I was able and this is something I want to do."
"I always seem to forget you're just five, you handle yourself like someone so much older it's easy to not remember you're just a small kid. I know you're not making the decision lightly because I know you and how you are. I know you're not doing this just because you think being a shinobi is cool. I'll help you enroll kiddo. Enrollment starts soon anyways. I know you're five, do you know when your birthday is?"
"I-I don't know." And she didn't. Before this, she'd never had any memory of her life as a human and therefore no memory of whatever birthday she might've had. As a vampire she felt no need to celebrate a birthday, much like every other vampire she'd known. There wasn't a point to celebrate the passing of another year when you lived forever.
"Okay then, how about we make it when you got here. 29th of Fire month, 765 AF. That sound good?"
"Thank you Shuri," Was all she could say, her words thick with emotion. "I appreciate it."
"Don't thank me just yet, if I'm helping you with this I need you to understand something. When you're in class you need to do your best not to stand out. If it means failing a test or not giving it your all in spars then that's what you need to do. Exceptional people like you disappear Arisu-chan and I will not loose another child because of that. Understood?"
It was at moments like these when Shuri was at her most intense that Alice could see the shinobi she'd been. Her entire focus was on Alice and it felt like being put beneath the microscope. Like she was being disassembled only to be put together again.
"I can't promise anything. But I can promise I'll do my best."
And truly that was the best she could do. She wasn't an actor and while she could convincingly pull off being a human teenager, being a human child was out of her ball game. She could certainly try though, and for Shuri and herself? She would certainly try her best.
"Alright then," Shuri seemed satisfied with whatever she saw. "let's get this stuff done and then we'll get a head start on trying to get your paperwork in order for the academy. I already know you don't have all the papers you're going to need so this might take a while."
"Thank you Shuri."
Alice continued to return to her dusting and for the first time since she'd ended up here she felt like she was taking her first step on this long journey she was supposed to be on. She felt the thrum of victory that only being able to fight and hold her own against those two men had given her. She had told Shuri she wanted to protect herself and that was true, she hadn't quite vocalized but she would do whatever it took to make that a reality.
She was sure however, that Shuri had seen that anyways.
She might never be as strong or as fast as she used to be but as long as she could actually protect herself she'd be okay with that. If she could reclaim even a bit of the power she used to have she would be satisfied.
(That was a lie, she fully admitted to herself later. She don't think she could ever be satisfied with a portion of what she used to have)
That suffocating feeling of helplessness, for the first time in a long time was beginning to abate and its place was a seed of hope and the fierce drive to do whatever she needed to in order to achieve her goal.
She would make it a reality, after all, all she had to do was push herself using her visions to see how strong she'd be. And what a splendid vision that had been indeed.
It was the very same night after that conversation that Alice lie in the futon she shared with Arata and Asami that she truly let herself feel the victory she'd managed. It was her beginning and she knew that she'd be able to become someone strong. Alice had never been one to just stand still and let life happen, she was very much the type of person to reach out with her own hands and shape her own reality and in this case she was fully prepared to make her dreams that reality.
As she lay down for the night her visions struck hard, like a hammer to the head. She saw a boy with whisker marks on his cheeks, bright blond hair and the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. He was a lonely child, alone and ostracized from all the other children. He sat on a single swing watching all the parents pick up their children from what looked the academy. His eyes were sad but at the same time there was a sense of mischief there that reminded her fondly of Emmett.
Her vision shifted and it was the two of them as they sat next to each other in class. The boy, Naruto Uzumaki, he proudly proclaimed, had said something to make her laugh and in her own eyes was a fondness she had seen reflected there since she was torn away from everything,
The next vision showed them eating lunch together. She had apparently made a bento for both herself and the other boy and it looked very much like this was a common occurrence. While he took it he said something that made her laugh and while that fondness from before was still there, there was something that shocked her; a feeling of attachment.
A snapshot of moments played like a movie reel and in it she saw similar situations. They usually hung out together. Naruto was a prankster and someone who reminded her so obviously of Emett it hurt. Somehow, somewhere, she lets this boy in. This boy was meant to become someone that carved out a place in her heart and she guarded that with everything that was within her.
It felt like a betrayal, like she was throwing away everyone she ever cared about to be friends with this actual child.
But her visions didn't lie and the more she saw she couldn't lie she understood where the fondness came from. He truly did remind her so much of her brother.
The last vision that chased her into unconsciousness was a simple one. It was her, Naruto and another boy with raven black hair and some of the palest skin she'd ever seen on a human. They sat on the top of what looked like a building. The sky was a vibrant blue, there was a soft breeze and they seemed to be waiting for someone. Naruto and the boy looked annoyed but she herself was just amused.
The vision ended as quickly as it began but before she managed to fall asleep she drowsily noticed one thing; tied to their foreheads were the leaf headband. The official headband worn by Shinobi.