One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda
Kingdom Hearts characters belong to Square Enix and Disney
OCs belong to me.
-Chapter Two Hundred and Seventy-Two-
"Now, prepare to die!" the warthog snarled as she raised her swords high, taking advantage of the fact that the two of us were dazed and nothing more than a sorry pile of limbs on the ground after our fall.
"Wait! You got it all wrong! I-I'm a transvestite—a man!" Nami frantically cried out as she quickly scrambled to sit us both up and clasp our hands together as she pulled me close. "Isn't that right, Skylar?" she asked as she pressed her cheek against mine.
"Uh...yeah, that's right" I slowly nodded, quickly catching onto her plan before flinching when the warthog now started to direct her attack towards only me.
"No, wait! Skylar's my lover!" Nami quickly lied which caused the sow to stop her attack as she now curiously looked between us as if she was trying to process this new information.
"That's right! I'm her l-lover" I had to choke the word out that sounded weird and almost unfaithful to say, even if it was a lie, it still left a bad taste in my mouth. Quickly did we both press ourselves against one another, innocently smiling up at the warthog as we held hands, acting as if we were nothing more than a loving couple that couldn't bear the thought of being away from one another.
"What?!" the warthog suddenly squealed, her voice now sounding more high-pitched.
"What?!" Chopper gaped in shock.
"Oh, come on" Usopp frowned.
"Y-you mean it?" the warthog hesitantly asked as she slowly started to lower her swords completely.
"Yeah! Crossdressing is just a hobby of mine—I'm not joking! Isn't that right, sweetie?" Nami asked, widely smiling as she now directed all attention towards me.
"Y-yes, I'm very supportive of my darling's life decisions!" I gave a strained smile in return while nodding.
"Right, and I think you and that Absalom guy make a super cute couple" Nami said. "You should totally hook it up, girlfriend" she urged, hoping that if she encouraged the sow in her endeavor then she'd be less likely to kill us if she discovered that we were currently lying to her about what exactly we were.
"Agreed, you two are particularly a match made in Heaven" I agreed. "Any man would be lucky to have such a passionate woman like yourself in his life" I said.
"You think?" the warthog questioned with the tilt of her head.
"Of course, we do, you were made for each other" Nami and I sweetly smiled.
"To be completely honest, I was beginning to lose hope" the warthog admitted. "All this time no one has ever offered me a single word of encouragement" she sadly muttered as she dropped to her hands and knees. "You don't know how much it means, thank you! Thank you!" tears welled up in her eyes as she looked up at the two of us.
"Raise your head up high, it's okay, you don't have to thank us for saying that" Nami said as both she and I stood up. "We're friends—my name is Namizo, but my friends call me Nami and my lover here is Skylar" it still felt weird hearing her call me that. This is a lie I defiantly don't want Zoro hearing about.
"We're friends, Nami? Skylar?" the warthog sniffed as if she hadn't expected us to be so willing to be friends with her after she attempted to kill us.
"She bought that?!" Usopp shouted, clearly baffled to hear that the sow had bought mine and Nami's lie about her being a transvestite and us being lovers.
"I like just don't get it" Lola—that was the name she had told us to call her by—sighed. "I like always tell him how much I love him, and I hug him so tight that I nearly crack his ribs, and he's just like "oh, whatever" about it" she huffed as the three of us now sat around one of the garden tables. "I've been as sweet as I can, but he just won't notice me" she sadly mumbled.
"If you ask me, he's an idiot if he can't see how lovely of a woman you are" I said while leaning back in my chair.
"Well, of course not, Lola" Nami softly frowned. "You're going about this all in the wrong way, you need to be more aggressive" she told her.
"Huh? What?" Lola questioned. "Is that the problem?" she asked with the tilt of her head.
"I'll put it this way, if you want to get married, you can't do it while he's awake" Nami said. "That's just silly, you knock him out and get him to sign while he's sleeping" she instructed which caused me to softly chuckle as I quickly picked up in what she was trying to do.
"Nami's right, with how much of a womanizer he is, that's the only way you're going to get him to sign the marriage certificate" I quickly agreed.
"Wait, is that ethical? I mean like as a human being?" Lola asked.
"Lola, sweetie, you're a zombie" Nami and I reminded her.
"A loophole! A rotting zombie loophole!" Lola gasped.
"Remember, if you can't knock him out, you can always drug him" Nami winked.
"Hey, Namizo, Skylar, weren't you going to run away?" Usopp deadpanned.
"Oh! By the way, Lola, I dropped something important back when I visited the treasure vault" Nami suddenly remembered. "I'd like to pick it up, but I don't remember the way, can you give me directions?" she asked as I sweat dropped.
"After all that and you're still thinking about robbing this place" I muttered.
"Of course, you big silly" Lola giggled. "Just go through Miss Perona's room, it's right next door, can't miss it" she instructed.
"Wow! Nami, Skylar, that warthog bought that hook, line, and sinker" Usopp whispered as if he really was impressed with how well everything turned out. I chuckled, lips pulling up into a gentle smile before my ears twitched at the sound of nearby twigs snapping. "Hey, Nami, Skylar, he caught up to us." the sharpshooter nervously pointed out.
"Alright then, Lola, this is your chance to attack" Nami said.
"Yeah, we'll never see him again and that's perfectly fine with us" I told her.
"There's nothing stopping you, you'll make a beautiful couple!" we brightly smiled as we poured even more gasoline on the fiery passion of the woman's love for the invisible man.
"I'll give it my best! Thank you for everything, Nami, Skylar!" Lola smiled right back as she grabbed her two swords. "You gave me the courage to fight!" and with that, she ran towards her man.
"Alright, you three, this is our chance" Nami said as I snickered upon hearing Absalom's terrified screams.
"A nonviolent solution, for us at least" Chopper smiled. "Wow, Nami, Skylar, that was awesome!" he praised as I gently hit the ginger haired woman's arm before we started to walk up the balcony steps and towards this Perona chick's room.
"You better hope Zoro doesn't find out about that lie of yours, missy, he won't be too pleased to hear it" I said.
"Pfft! What's he going to do? Chew me out for a lie?" Nami chuckled. "Scared that I'll steal his woman out from underneath him with my good looks" she grinned as I snorted. "Besides, Lola's not such a bad girl, you just have to get to know her a bit" she told Chopper and Usopp as her eyes lit up like beli signs.
"I know what you're thinking! I can see it in your eyes!" Usopp snapped.
"I'm pretty sure we all can" I sweat dropped.
"Did we lose him?" Usopp asked as soon as we entered a somewhat of a cheerful-looking room that also felt a bit dreary in a weird way...I like it, this Perona woman has good taste in decor.
"I think Lola should keep him busy" Nami said as we continued to walk. "It's him!" she suddenly cried out before quickly grabbing my arm as she ducked behind a wall, dragging me along with her while pulling Chopper in close as if wanting to use him like a shield. "Guys, he's coming this way! What should we do?!" she frantically asked.
"I could slice him" I suggested before biting my lower lip. "But, since Lola wants to marry him, I don't want to hurt her by harming her man" I admitted, feeling it'd be cruel to cut her future husband to be up into pieces. I'm sure she'd want him whole and in pristine condition when she finally got his signature for that certificate.
"Over here" Usopp whispered as he motioned us all to silently follow him. "Hurry, get inside" he hurriedly ushered into...I wasn't exactly sure what he was urging us to climb inside, unable to get a good look at it before we piled up inside of it.
"What the heck is that?" Nami asked once we were all settled in, our bodies tightly squished against one another due to how small of a space this hiding place was.
"I don't know, just get in here and hide" Usopp truthfully answered as he finally zipped the thing up which encased us all in darkness.
"Skylar, stop moving around" Nami whispered the moment I started to shift around in some vague attempt at getting comfortable.
"Sorry, this is just uncomfortable" I whispered back before we quickly grew silent the moment we heard the sounds of a muffled conversation happening around outside of our hiding place.
"It's a miracle they haven't found us hiding in here, what were you thinking? We were better off before" Nami scolded as she realized what exactly we were hiding inside of and the fact that we really were in a bad position because if we weren't careful, we'd easily be caught by the people outside.
"What do you want from me? You were freaking out about that invisible guy and I found something to climb inside, how was I supposed to know it was a zombie, huh?" Usopp frowned.
"Will you two just shut up before they hear us" I hushed them both.
"We'll run away as soon as we get the chance, okay?" Usopp whispered to all of us before we silently listened to the conversation going on outside. "No way! They caught Zoro and Sanji!" he quietly cried out in shock at such a discovery.
"Huh? So, that's where those two disappeared off to" I muttered.
"How's that possible? They got them and Luffy!" Chopper worriedly cried as we listened to more of the conversation going on around us.
"No offense, but they're the strongest guys on our crew" Nami admitted and none of us could really argue with her because she wasn't wrong—they were the real fighters of the group, the ones that really did enjoy fighting far more than any of the rest of us. "How the hell were they the first ones to get caught?" she frowned.
"Stupidity, carelessness, lack of direction, lack of awareness, the list could go on" I softly listed. "They may be strong, but they're still human, take them by surprise and you could knock them down pretty easily."
"I don't know who any of these guys are, but they are seriously dangerous" Usopp whispered as he peeked out of the zombie we were hiding in to get a better look at the people around us. Curiously did I push him to the side and peered out as well, taking in the sight of the people scattered about the room.
"I like that one girl's outfit" I mumbled as I spied a pink haired woman that was dressed in whites and reds and blacks. She was quite cute looking.
"Now's not the time for that!" Nami scowled as I shook my head and continued to look around before my gaze landed on the biggest person in the room. He was quite large and his appearance wasn't really pleasing to look at, it almost seemed like he wasn't human, which he probably wasn't if the horns on his forehead were any indicator.
"That reminds me, what happened to the three pirates, Perona?" someone asked. "I thought the Risky Brothers were supposed to deliver them to us" he said.
"They're supposed to deliver them to Kumashi, but they haven't yet, let's hope they didn't escape during transit" Perona said.
"You hear that? They're talking about us" Usopp whispered.
"I think you mean they're talking about you three" I corrected.
"Shut up! Don't tell them, you bastard!" Usopp harshly whispered the minute he spotted that the zombie we were inside of was attempting to speak and tell everyone in the room where we were hidden.
"Didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut?!" Perona suddenly snapped as if annoyed by the fact that the zombie was trying to speak.
"You're too strict on Kumashi, unbearably strict you might say" Absalom remarked. "Among these four, my bride and mistress to be are the ones to watch out for" he said.
"Four? I thought there were only three?" Perona questioned.
"It seems another lovely lady has shown up—I don't know where she came from, but she's quite the sight to see in that dress of hers" Absalom said. "They caused a rebellion of sorts in your garden" he explained. "Huh? Hey, hang on a second—dammit! Hogback, you better not have laid a single finger on my bride or mistress, you bastard!" he suddenly growled as if a thought just occurred to him. "You bring them to me now!" he demanded.
"Your bride and mistress don't want you" an emotionless voice remarked.
"What?! Cindry!" Absalom snapped. "What did you say?!" he snarled
"Hey, come on, Cindry! You're not helping matters here, and by the way, why do you always stand in front of me like that?" Hogback asked.
"When did this serious conversation take a sudden silly turn?" I sweat dropped.
"They don't want you either" Cindry bluntly said.
"Why did you say that?! That never once crossed my mind!" Hogback cried as if it hurt him to hear her say something like that out of the blue.
"What do you think these guys are planning to do now that they've caught Luffy?" Nami asked as she started to peer outside of the zombie along with me. I finally got the chance to examine what our hiding spot looked like, having to silently coo over just how cute it appeared. A giant teddy bear wearing a surgical mask, what an odd look for a zombie.
"And Sanji and Zoro too, it's got to be something bad" Chopper said, his feet poking out instead of his head.
"Let's not forget we're in danger too, but it's not like we can just abandon Luffy, right?" Usopp nervously asked as we all quickly hid back inside the bear, Kumashi I believe is his name, when Perona looked our way. "Shut it! That's right, there you go, just like that" the sharpshooter whispered after silencing the bear from revealing our hiding spot once again.
"I don't care what anyone says, I've already decided that they're the ones I'm going to spend the rest of my life with" Absalom said as Nami, Usopp, and Chopper quickly covered my mouth before I had the chance to snap.
"He's pissing me off" my muffled voice grumbled through their hands.
"I know, but don't give away our hiding spot!" Nami frowned.
"I told you, they don't want you" Cindry bluntly repeated.
"Quit saying that!" Absalom snapped, growling like a wild animal as if he really couldn't stand being told that the two women he desired found him undesirable.
"Please, Cindry, let's try to be polite" Hogback said as if trying to calm the tension that was now building up in the air. "Absalom's love life is none of your business" he said.
"Nobody will ever want him or you" Cindry harshly insulted.
"How can you be so cold and hurtful to me?!" Hogback cried. "There's someone out there for all of us!" he wailed.
"Shut up! Enough already!" a new voice loudly boomed. "Your whining is giving me a headache, if those pirates somehow got away, I'll hold every one of you responsible!" I hummed in thought, he held an authoritative tone in his voice and almost seemed demanding. It's possible that this was Gekko Moriah. "I gathered the three of you here to commemorate the birth—or rather the rebirth—of a powerful new addition to the crew of Thriller Bark!"
"He really is quite impressive" a new voice complimented after the sound of a very loud scream died out.
"Master! The pirate's escaping, he ate right through the bars of the cage!" another cried out.
"They did what now? He ate the cage?" Moriah questioned, sounding quite baffled by the fact that one of the pirates he held captive was bold enough to eat straight-up metal to escape.
"That's one way to escape" I sweat dropped as Nami and the other two nodded their heads in agreement.
"Let's just see you jerks try to catch me now!" Luffy huffed.
"Luffy?!" Nami, Chopper, and I gasped as we peeked out of Kumashi.
"Go!" Usopp silently cheered.
"Such a promising shadow!" Hogback laughed as if amused by the raven-haired man's attempt at escape.
"Hold on, Absalom, we're in a tight space" Perona said, stopping the man beside her from going after Luffy as she ran after the rubber man who was quickly crawling away instead. "Here, let me catch him, okay!" she grinned.
"Yeah, I'd like to see you try, slowpoke!" Luffy snapped.
"Negative Hallow!" those ghosts from before seemed to just seep out of Perona's body, quickly making their way towards the raven-haired man as they softly laughed.
"Those things?! I'm not falling for that same trick twice!" Luffy frowned as he started to crawl faster, but it still wasn't enough as the three ghosts phased themselves right through his body which caused him to slump over and grow depressed. "That's it, I just want to die and be reincarnated as a sea cucumber" he sadly mumbled.
"First, he wanted to be a Pirate King, then a knight, and now a sea cucumber? Sad" Absalom remarked.
"Damn you, let me go!" Luffy growled as his body was sat upright, his movements restricted by the spider webs that were tightly spun around him.
"Let's illuminate our friend here" Moriah grinned as a bright light was suddenly flickered on behind Luffy.
"What are you going to do, you jerk?! I'm going to make you pay!" Luffy snapped as we all watched with wide eyes as the Warlord reached down and suddenly snatched up Luffy's shadow. Pulling it right out of the ground as if it was tangible and knocking the rubber man over in the process. "What?! What the hell?! My shadow?!" the captain cried out in shock as a giant pair of scissors were produced from Moriah's pocket. Before I could watch the scissors position themselves near the bottom of Luffy's shadow, I felt Nami and them drag me back into Kumashi, all of us tightly clinging to one another as we violently began to shake in fear at what we were hearing.
A/N: Enjoy
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