Hello everyone!
As promised, here's a much gentler fic following Sebastian and Ominis during one day of their final year at Hogwarts! The idea came to me while listening (over and over, I admit) to the beautiful song 'All This and Heaven Too', by Florence + the Machine, and I needed more fluff after the drama of the game's side-quest :')
By the way, the text does contain a few spoilers (but not too many because I'm in denial and I don't even mention certain subjects because if I don't, they don't exist, right? :D), so don't hesitate to come back once you've completed the quest ;)
Enjoy!
Ominis had received a strict and elitist education from his parents and tutors before entering Hogwarts, and he felt that his mastery of the English language was sometimes even superior to that of some of his classmates. In fact, he had always been particularly fond of languages and their richness, and he wielded words like spells, regularly accompanying them with a sarcasm that accentuated the already great confusion of the other students. Perhaps he liked words so much because he knew another side of them, that of the dots that made up the Braille alphabet, yet another thing that his classmates contemplated with amazement. Of course, there were other ways for him to read, such as bewitching books or scrolls so that the text was dictated or making the Braille letters appear on each page, but he was particularly fond of another, more 'personalised' method.
Leaning against the wall, sitting on the extra bed that Sebastian had set up in his room at Feldcroft for the holidays, Ominis closed his eyes. He let himself be lulled by the voice of his friend who was reading an extract from their Potions textbook, lying on the mattress, his head resting peacefully on Ominis's thighs. Although he enjoyed finding out about the lessons himself, he was particularly fond of these special moments when he could simply listen, concentrating both on the subject and on Sebastian, who was entirely devoted to him during the few minutes they dedicated to reading.
The rays of the autumn sun caressed Ominis's face, giving it a gentle halo of warmth. He could hear the birds singing and the outraged calls of the sheep waiting for their food. He could smell the distinctive scent of the sun and the salty air on his clothes. He took a deep breath and let a warm feeling of peace wash over him, chasing away memories of the dramatic events of their fifth year.
He felt good, like he belonged. And he was sure he was where he was supposed to be.
'So that's why this potion can't... Just let me know if I'm bothering you.
- Sorry, I was distracted.
- Wait, so I've been reading for almost twenty minutes for nothing? And you're not thinking of stopping me?
- And interrupt your study? How could I?'
Ominis couldn't stop his lips from stretching into an amused smile when Sebastian sat down and muttered a falsely outraged 'Unbelievable'. He shook off the lack that this simple movement had created, regretting the pleasant contact of Sebastian's head on his laps, and laid a sympathetic hand on his friend's shoulder. 'Sorry, I only picked up a few seconds ago.
- Don't worry about it. It's good timing really, because I was getting a bit fed up with potions. It's time for a well-deserved break. (He stretched with a grunt.) Honestly, it's our last year, why can't Sharp just give us a break?
- How many pages are we in the chapter?
- Second half of page seven.
- Out of how many?
- …Out of twenty,' Sebastian sighed, resolutely closing the book, 'it's just sooo long, there seems to be no end of it.
- Shouldn't we try and get halfway through before our well-deserved break? So that we can relax for the rest of the day?'
There was a long silence, heavy with reproaches, then Sebastian uttered a long complaint and let himself fall back onto the bed, his head on the mattress and his chest on Ominis's laps. The fabric of the bed muffled his despair as he sighed. 'What did I do to deserve this?
- Come on now,' Ominis consoled him, running a hand through his brown curls, 'it'll be over soon.
- Says the one who's not actually doing the reading.
- Look, if we read just a few more pages, we can have the rest of the afternoon to ourselves and we can go for a walk in the sun. If you'd rather have a break from reading, I can put a spell on the book for the three... Hm. I mean, the next two and a half pages,' he corrected, feeling Sebastian glowering at him.
Ominis knew him so well that he could even interpret his silences: the amused ones, the tired ones, the silences filled with sadness, those that bravely contained bursts of laughter at crucial moments, the dark and heavy ones, the mocking ones... And so he knew that even though he was still keeping a light tone, Sebastian had reached a certain limit in his focus. Any more would be unbearable to him.
Even Ominis had to admit that it had been a long day: they had decided to do as much of their homework as possible during the first few days of the holidays, and then make the most of their free time. He could understand that Sebastian was reaching his limit as he himself was objectively getting tired.
Sebastian finally let out a grunt and Ominis heard the back of the heavy manual creak as it was opened once more. 'Nah it's all right, I'll do it.
- You don't have to, I can do it too.
- I know you can. But I want to do it.' There was a brief silence, long enough for Ominis to swallow hard and feel his cheekbones heat up. 'It makes me happy to do this for you.
- Oh... Well, in that case, I'm all ears.'
Sebastian let out an amused chuckle and resumed reading.
Without Ominis finding the strength to remove his fingers from Sebastian's hair.
He knew he should have withdrawn his hand, that it had been going on for too long, yet he couldn't bring himself to do it... In his defence, Sebastian wasn't changing position either, keeping his chest comfortably resting on his legs. They had always been like this together, very tactile, and for a long time, Ominis had believed that this was Sebastian's way of showing his affection, since he couldn't show it with smiles or knowing glances.
But they weren't thirteen any more, they were eighteen. He was no longer the young boy broken by his parents and by their punishments, the boy who marvelled at the signs of tenderness so willingly offered by his new best friend.
They both had to know by now that there was more than friendship in these gestures of almost suffocating intimacy.
And that was the heart of the matter.
Ominis handled the English language like no other, and yet, for seven years now, he had been facing a linguistic difficulty he couldn't overcome.
He was simply unable to understand or express what he felt in the kind of timeless moments they shared on a daily basis. As if his heart was speaking its own language, one he could never truly learn or master.
Ominis had thought for eleven years that he would never have the right to be happy, but now he could say that he was no stranger to joy and happiness. Better still, he had been in regular contact with them since he met Sebastian and Anne. And despite the absence of the latter, who, like today, made regular visits to St. Mungo's, he still enjoyed some genuinely blissful moments.
But that wasn't exactly how he felt, those words weren't quite... right enough.
He simply couldn't put into words the light that swelled in his chest when they were together, so close, so connected. He couldn't describe the gentle wave of warmth that rose from his heart and enveloped him from hairline to toes. He couldn't explain how his heartbeat matched the ancient rhythm of the world around him. He was at a loss when he felt how perfectly their hands fit together, how his fingers seemed to belong in Sebastian's hair, how his shoulders seemed to come alive when his friend's arm rested on them.
It wasn't fulfilment, or simple satisfaction, it was so, so much more.
And yet, despite his love of poetry and his own literary attempts, Ominis would've been unable to describe these sensations exactly, and that was incredibly frustrating.
Sebastian finally reached the tenth page of the damned chapter and closed the book with a thud, as if to avoid giving Ominis the opportunity to encourage him to continue. 'There, I've fulfilled my part of the bargain.
- And I thank you for it,' Ominis admitted, reluctantly pulling his hand away.
'Now you have to keep yours.
- I'm a man of my word.'
Ominis could almost hear the smile in Sebastian's voice as he sat up briskly and took him by the hand to help him to his feet. 'Hurry up and put on your jacket then: we're going to get some fresh air. We need it.'
As they left the room, Ominis heard a thud and his eyes widened. 'Did you just throw your potions book across the room?
- Please, I wouldn't dare.
- Then what did you…
- Well, yours of course.
- Good Lord, Sebastian!
- Oh, it's been a while since you summoned me like that.'
Ominiss' heart thumped in his chest and a new warmth seized his cheeks as he replied with a grunt. 'I thought deities were devoid of arrogance.
- Not all of them.
- Merlin help us all…'
The bright laughter that echoed around the room was so infectious that Ominis couldn't help but laugh as well, and once again the wave of happiness pulsed through him, so intensely that he was sure Sebastian must have felt a shock emanating from his fingertips.
Jacket and scarf on, they ran out of the cottage, their hands never leaving each other's, and Ominis let himself be guided without taking out his wand. He had - literally - blind faith in his guide, and he didn't slow down once, not even when the grass replaced the gravel of Feldcroft's alleys under his soles. A salty gust of wind hit him head-on and he knew they were running down the hill that led to the lakeshore.
'Where are you taking me?
- You'll find out soon enough.
- If you think I'm going to follow you into this icy water, you're gravely mistaken.
- Trust me.'
Oh, if you only knew… If you only knew that I would follow you to the ends of the earth…
Ominis breathed in deeply, a full smile on his lips, and once again he had the impression, the certainty, that he had been born to live these moments at Sebastian's side. If only he could have found the right words to say it. But they weren't enough to express what he was feeling, they were too weak and insipid compared to the rainbow of emotions and sensations that was growing inside him.
So he just squeezed Sebastian's hand a little tighter in his own, praying that it would be enough for now.
'How are you holding up?
- I'm not as weak as you seem to think I am,' Ominis retorted, gasping for breath.
It must have been hilarious to hear, because Sebastian laughed and stopped immediately.
'Come on, let me give you a hand.
- I'm telling you it's fi-'
The end of his sentence choked on a surprised yelp as two arms encircled his waist and his feet left the ground. Loosing his balance, Ominis grabbed the first thing in front of him which was Sebastian's head, who was obviously choking with laughter, his face buried in Ominis's jacket. 'Stop it, you'll make me fall!
- I'm the one who should be telling you this,' Ominis snapped, 'put me down!
- Wait a minute, we're almost there, I just need to…'
Of course, it was at this precise moment that Sebastian stumbled. They both rolled in the grass, rolling down part of the hill before finally coming to rest side by side, short of breath and with their arms outstretched. Instinctively, Ominis turned his head towards Sebastian and, after a second of stunned silence, they burst out laughing, their shoulders shaking with hiccups.
'Are you,' Sebastian gasped painfully between hilarious sobs, 'are you alright?
- My self-esteem is shattered.
- And you're crushing my left arm, we're even.
- Stop it,' Ominis hiccuped with laughter, 'I'm serious! I'm sure the whole village saw us and I don't think I'll ever get over it.'
In the end, he never really knew where Sebastian had initially wanted to take him, because they decided by tacit agreement that they were just as well off here, laughing in the wind-swept grass, their faces shimmering in the surprisingly mild autumn sunshine. It was definitely more pleasant to enjoy the outdoors than to struggle to understand Sharp's new lesson, and the light inside Ominis swelled a little more, filling his chest to the point where he thought it would explode. When they had caught their breath and the tears had dried on their cheeks, Ominis let out a long sigh, resting his head on Sebastian's arm. Unable to help himself, let his left hand find the one that his friend had naturally rested on his shoulder.
'You'll be the death of me.
- Oh stop it, I know you love it.'
Oh what Ominis would give to be able to tell Sebastian about his feelings… To tell him that 'adoration' wasn't a strong enough word, that even 'love' was nothing compared to this feeling of finally being complete, like two sides of the same coin, two parts of the same soul. It was so frustrating that he almost wanted to scream, to let the most visceral part of him take over and let this overflow of emotions escape. It was too much, he was overflowing with supreme happiness and love, a fullness that almost made him want to cry.
And he was supposed to use those three little words to describe the universe that moved inside him when Sebastian was with him? Those three words, far too basic, far too simple, that could never do justice to Sebastian's light? Those three words that were used way too often and too quickly by the other students and that would never reflect the dizzying height of his feelings?
Ominis didn't know why he felt this sudden need to be honest, to put into words what had never needed to be said between them. Perhaps it was the realisation that this was their last year at Hogwarts? The last year before the start of their adult lives? He had the impression that the bubble of emotion inside him had grown so much over time that it was now threatening to overflow, that words demanded to be spoken immediately.
When he turned his head towards Sebastian again, their nose brushed, and it was only then that he realised he'd been watched the whole time. 'What's the matter?
- Nothing,' Sebastian replied softly, 'I just like looking at you.
- It can't be very interesting, though.
- On the contrary, it's fascinating. And very instructive.' With his free hand, Sebastian placed a finger on Ominis' forehead. 'I'm trying to guess what you're thinking about.
- And how often do you do this?
- Every day.
- That often?
- Alright, I'll admit it: several times a day.'
A familiar warmth rose up Ominis' throat to his face, and he knew it must have turned peony red. This was the last straw: he was definitely going to drown.
Do it, begged the fire in his heart, tell him now. Do it before it's too late.
Forehead to forehead, Ominis tried to summon up the courage to speak, even if it meant simply saying those three famous words. He wasn't afraid. In all sincerity, he couldn't imagine a world in which he would have been mistaken about Sebastian's intentions, not when other students had already asked him if they were more than friends... Not when he was certain that only couples exchanged such gentle and soft gestures. Besides, Ominis knew he'd never be abandoned even if he'd made a mistake and his feelings weren't reciprocated, but this leap into the unknown was still absolutely terrifying. 'Sebastian.
- Hm?
- I've been looking for a way to tell you for a long time now,' Ominis stammered awkwardly, 'and I... I thought that... Well, I thought that I owed you the truth. It's huh… Actually, it's been since... Since our first meeting, at the banquet... Well, you know what I mean. Since then, I just... I…'
Ominis fell silent and pursed his lips, resisting the thought of hiding his face with his hands because of the shame he suddenly felt. He was furious at himself for not being able to find the right words. He couldn't believe he was stumbling over something he'd used perfectly since childhood and that his first passion would betray him at such a critical moment.
But as Ominis searched for the right words, and as the lump in his chest swelled, Sebastian's lips touched his forehead.
Almost nothing, barely a kiss.
But it was enough to shut Ominis up, dumbfounded.
'I know,' Sebastian said with a smile in his voice, 'so do I.'
Ominis froze, his eyes round, but neither the relief nor the fireworks in his heart made him any clearer. 'But... But you... Then why haven't you say so?
- Because I thought it was obvious. You see what I mean, right?
- Sebastian, you do know that I, in fact, can't see, don't you?
- Oh so that's the reason.'
Ominis jostled him, making him giggle, and Sebastian took the opportunity to close his free arm around him, hugging him tightly. 'I suppose I didn't say anything for the same reasons you didn't either. Because words can't do justice to how I feel, and I've preferred to show it to you in other ways all this time.'
Ominis's heart was stuck in his throat, the wave of warmth covered him completely, the light drowned him and joy beat a frantic rhythm in his eardrums as the relief of being understood finally blossomed in his chest. Relief and happiness of not having made a mistake.
An irrepressible smile lit up his face, and the flame in his heart seemed to expand to cover them both when Sebastian brushed his lips with his fingertips in a silent question. Ominis didn't have to answer, didn't have the strength to tease him. He simply placed a hand on Sebastian's cheek and drew him closer. Their lips met immediately, and once again it was as if they had been created to meet and exist together.
There.
It was... right. This was what they were born for, to find each other.
That was what he felt and couldn't explain.
Ominis let out a sigh of pure bliss when Sebastian broke the kiss to wrap his arms around him and bury his burning face in his throat, mirroring his own position. Ominis inhaled his scent, savoured the warmth of his skin, shivered under the breath that caressed his skin, and felt as if he were going to die in the face of such perfection. Then he knew that no language, no words, could ever reflect what they were both feeling and that they had simply found another perfect way of expressing themselves.
'I'd like to say it anyway,' Sebastian whispered against his neck, placing a kiss against his pulse, 'even if it's not enough.
- We could say it together,' Ominis answered as he closed his eyes.
He felt Sebastian's smile against his skin and, together, they offered each other those famous three words that could never completely reflect the height of their devotion. And yet, they knew they had never been so united, embraced in the heavenly blaze of their love.
I hope you enjoyed it :D
See you soon!