Hi everyone!
I'm back with a new fandom! And if you haven't finished Sebastian's side-quest, please come back to this fanfic later as it contains spoilers ;)
The end of this side-quest absolutely broke me and I needed to heal my poor heart by imagining what might've happened if Ominis had reached Sebastian and told him what he should have heard years ago :') (English is not my first language so there might be some mistakes left here and there, sorry about that!)
Enjoy!
His lungs were on fire.
Please, please gods, not this.
Ominis had never run so fast, stumbling over the gravel and debris that littered the uneven floor of Feldcroft's catacombs. He could hear the new pupil's ragged breathing at his back, and for a mad second he felt a wave of resentment override the terror that chilled his blood. Why had things got so out of hand! How could she not have seen what Sebastian was up to? How could she…
Ominis suddenly slipped and only avoided the fall by clumsily catching himself on the wall. He winced when the stone nicked his palm, probably leaving it bleeding, and this shock, along with his friend's hand on his shoulder, brought him back to his senses.
'Are you all right?
- I'm fine,' he lied, let's hurry, we haven't got a second to lose.
He couldn't blame her, he had no right to. He had been stupid to believe that anyone could stop Sebastian, and he had been a fool to leave this responsibility to someone he had met a few months earlier. He knew Sebastian better than anyone, and he knew that nothing could have stopped him. No-one could have… No one but him... And he hadn't had the strength to tell his best friend that he was fighting a lost cause.
He couldn't tell him that his sister was doomed and that he was ruining himself for nothing.
The knot tightened in his throat, and guilt mingled with fear in his heart. It was all his fault. He should never have told Sebastian about that cursed scriptorium, he should never have followed him, and above all, he should never have abandoned him at such a critical moment. His fear and his own wounds had prevented him from reasoning with him, from broaching the subject frankly, from turning him away from this madness, and now he felt that they were all going to pay the price.
Ominis could no longer think. His whole being was screaming at him to go faster, to get to Sebastian before it was too late, but his body was too slow, too clumsy. He couldn't go as fast as his soul would've liked. For a moment, he felt his eyes burning and he fought back the tears with an angry gesture. His heart was beating furiously in his chest, chanting silent pleas that he repeated tirelessly to himself.
Please, Merlin, not him.
When they crossed one last corridor and his wand vibrated to alert him to the presence of enemies, he stopped dead in his tracks, out of breath, and a wave of cold sweat immobilised him for a moment.
'No... No, there weren't this many Inferi before!'
His friend lunged forward, striking at the enemies with frightening efficiency, and Ominis shivered before dashing after her.
It wasn't possible, the monsters couldn't have multiplied like that in such a short space of time! Gods, if only he'd been braver! If he'd let Anne barricade the catacombs, he might have been able to reason with Sebastian before things got so out of hand!
A small voice perfidiously reminded him that Anne was no longer fit to fend for herself and that her state of health would never have allowed her to secure the exit. He had chosen Anne and Feldcroft, and he had abandoned Sebastian once again.
When the last Inferi was reduced to ashes, a new flash of realisation struck him so violently that he gasped.
'What's the matter,' worried the new pupil as she heard him gasp, 'are you hurt?
- No, it's just that... Anne's gone to get Solomon. I don't know how he'll react, but we've got to talk some sense into Sebastian before he gets here. We haven't got as much time as I thought, we've got to move fast.'
Ominis felt the student in front of him stiffen and she answered in an ushered voice.
'Solomon said he would report Sebastian to the headmaster if he used dark magic…'
Ominis felt as if the world was falling apart. 'What? Are you sure?
- I was there when he threatened him.'
Her sentence broke off in a tremor, and it took Ominis a long time to realise that the desperate cry echoing around the room was coming from him. He clutched his head in his hands, struggling to keep his whimper from turning into a sob. 'No, no, no, no, no…'
It was even worse than he'd imagined! He thought that, as a former Auror, Solomon would want to find Sebastian first, sort out the situation and eliminate the Inferi threat before anything else. He thought they'd have a few minutes to convince Sebastian to give up, get rid of all the evidence and distort the real story so that things would work out for the best... But if he went to see Black first…
Ominis almost collapsed, and he would have done so without the support of his friend.
No, not that... Not him…
It was over. There was no way out.
Even if they sorted things out here, even if they managed to convince Sebastian, Solomon would already have told everything to the headmaster and there would be Dementors waiting for them outside the catacombs.
A violent retching shook his whole body and he grabbed the new pupil's arms so hard that he heard a hiss of pain escape her. 'Ominis, what are we going to do?'
He could feel the ice in his veins, the tremors in his body, all light and joy gone from his world. He could hear the disembodied sighs of the Dementors, the cries of Sebastian who would be taken away from him forever. He could feel his distress, his rage and his grief in the cold cell that would see him grow and die in Azkaban. He knew that no one would risk desensitising him to dark magic, isolating him without imprisoning him. The fact that he was only sixteen would mean nothing in the eyes of the law, and he would be locked up with the worst criminals simply because no one had reached out to him earlier.
Horror and guilt brought him violently back to himself, and he knew he had made his decision.
He couldn't let this happen, it wasn't the solution. He couldn't let his light, the sun of his life, live and die within damp walls, haunted by his actions, by his pain and by the betrayal of those who loved him. He wouldn't allow it. He could never forgive himself. Even if he had to lie to the whole world, he would protect him: he would never again let him believe that he was alone against the world.
Ominis shook his friend slightly, forcing her to look at him.
'You must return to Hogwarts immediately,' he said with a determination he was far from feeling, 'go and talk to Professor Black. Explain to him that Solomon has chased Sebastian out of his house and threatened to have him expelled from Hogwarts because of their difference of opinion about Anne's health. Tell him it's a family quarrel, that you witnessed the altercations, distort the truth, leave out anything to do with dark magic and unforgivable spells. Tell him anything you like, even tell him that you're wondering whether Sebastian and Anne are safe and that you're worried about them if you want to, but you absolutely must make sure that the headmaster can't believe a word Solomon tells him in future. Do whatever you want, tell him he drinks too much or that he's been paranoid since he had to retire, but get him to trust you and then come back and help us.
- But what about…
- I'll take care of Sebastian. He's... (His voice choked in his throat and he swallowed hard before resuming.) He's my best friend. I thought others could make him come to his senses, but I'm the only one who can save him.'
He sensed that the new pupil was hesitating, that she was eager to give him her support and help him reason with Sebastian, and for a moment he thought she would refuse. But finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she let out a long sigh. 'All right...' She squeezed Ominis' shoulders, as if to give him a little of her strength, then let go of him, almost reluctantly, and ran towards the exit.
'Be careful!'
Ominis let the sound of her running fade into the distance, and allowed himself a few seconds of silence to breathe in deeply, to calm the frantic beating of his heart and the cold sensation in his muscles. He wasn't allowed a single mistake. He absolutely had to save him, get him back on the right track.
Ominis strode forward with determination, his wand raised to guide his steps and his wounded hand following the wall of the catacombs.
Sebastian had always been his light, his link with the world, and now that he was lost in the darkness, it was time for him to return the favour. He would give anything to convince him, there was no other way. Everything depended on him.
He finally reached the last underground chamber and when Sebastian's ecstatic laugh finally reached him amidst the raucous hissing of the Infernis, he froze, breathless.
'Sebastian,' gasped Ominis, 'what are you…
- I told you,' Sebastian interrupted dryly, 'the relic is the solution! He moved quickly towards him, feverish from the power in his hands. 'I wanted to undo the curse, make the dark magic disappear, but I wasn't looking at the problem from the right angle! This...' There was a passion in his voice, and even without seeing it, Ominis knew that his eyes must be shining at the relic he was observing with an almost religious fervour. 'This will allow me to control it, as I control the Inferi!
- Control them?' He couldn't help but raise his voice, hoarse with worry and pain. 'I had to fight them to get to you!'
Sebastian let out an evil little sigh that broke his heart. 'And yet you're doing just fine, aren't you?'
Ominis clenched his fists and struggled not to take a step backwards. He didn't recognise him, hadn't recognised him for weeks. That wasn't how his laugh sounded. That wasn't how he behaved. Of course, Sebastian had always been more impulsive than he was, but he would never have put his closest friend in such unnecessary danger. Ominis didn't know if it could be an effect of the relic, but he was certain that Sebastian would never have spoken to him like that under normal circumstances. And hearing him use that tone hurt almost as much as the rest.
'I could've died, and so could the new pupil!
- Come on, Ominis', Sebastian whispered. His voice was deep, deeper than he'd ever heard it, and when a hand rested heavily on his shoulder, Ominis felt as if it were made of concrete. 'If I'd wanted to keep you away, you wouldn't be here.'
His answer had the effect of a slap in the face and Ominis froze, speechless. A part of him - the part that had been growing inside him ever since they'd met, ever since Sebastian had sat next to him at that first banquet, ever since he'd held out his hand and never let go, ever since those first nights when they had chased away their nightmares and shared their fears, ever since those brushes of the shoulders, those laughs and those hugs of complicity - was startled to hear this, and felt his legs wobble as his heart missed a beat before speeding off again. He was speechless, blown away by the implication, by the privilege Sebastian was granting him: even blinded by the darkness, he wanted to see him.
Even as he was drowning in this hell, he still wanted him here, by his side.
That was how Ominis knew that all was not yet lost and that he still had a chance of convincing his best friend. That they still had a tiny chance of getting out of this and avoiding the worst.
Calming the frantic beating of his heart as best he could and controlling the mad hope that had just taken hold of him, he let rationality and the horror of the situation they were in take over.
'What?
- I told you: I don't want to use this power for the wrong reasons. I'm not like your family, Nis. I want to use it to save Anne and to protect you.
- By using unforgivable spells and a cursed relic?! To protect us from what?!
- From anyone who might wish you harm,' Sebastian retorted violently, coming closer, threatening, towering over him. 'If I'd had that power that night, Anne wouldn't be cursed! So now that I have this relic, I'll make sure we're never in danger again and that no one can ever separate us again.'
Ominis felt fear and anger rumbling inside him, an urge to explode and blurt out everything he really thought about Sebastian's motives. He wanted to tell him what a hypocrite he was, to remind him that he had forced him to follow him to this scriptorium despite his reluctance and anxiety. He wanted to push him, to shake him, to tell him that if Sabsatian had wanted to protect him, he wouldn't have confronted his closest friend with what had haunted his days and nights since childhood, that he wouldn't have forced him to face the skeleton of the only member of his family he had ever loved. In other circumstances, Ominis would have opened Sebastian's eyes by showing him that his aim had no longer been to protect his friend since he had turned to dark magic…
But he didn't.
Keeping his pain to himself, Ominis simply sighed painfully and lowered his wand, despite the nearby threat of the Inferi. With a heavy heart, he tucked it away in his robes and moved so close that he could smell the magic emanating from his best friend. Slowly, calmly, as if approaching a wounded animal, he raised his hands to frame Sebastian's face, who miraculously did not flinch.
Forgetting his wounded palm, Ominis slowly traced his features, drawing with his bloodied fingers the lines that marked Sebastian's forehead, the dark circles that weighed down his eyes, his cheeks hollowed out by exhaustion and dark magic, and something inside him broke. Ominis hadn't touched him like that for years, since Anne had been cursed actually. He had to suppress a sob that swelled in his throat when he realised how much Sebastian had changed, how his features had hardened... How exhausted he was.
'Sebastian,' he breathed softly, 'you don't have to protect us. It's not your job.
- Of course it is,' growled Sebastian, grabbing his wrists and pulling them away from his face.
Ominis shook his head slowly: it was so simple, so obvious... And yet no one had been able to tell Sebastian what he had been desperate to hear for years, ever since his parents died.
'I'm so sorry you felt it was your responsibility to do this, maybe it's my fault too... It's not your responsibility, it never has been. It's up to the adults to protect the younger ones, and if none of them were able to help you feel protected, I can't imagine how scared you must have felt.'
Sebastian chuckled, but Ominis knew him well enough to know that he had hit the nail on the head. 'You think I am scared? Me?
- I think you felt abandoned and that no one was up to the task,' Ominis continued cautiously, 'that your uncle wasn't able to say the right words to you and that he didn't have the strength to take on this responsibility because he himself has been broken for years.'
The pressure tightened on his wrists, but he didn't flinch, even when Sebastian raised his voice and the Inferi came slightly closer. 'My uncle is a coward! A coward who was never able to take care of us and who couldn't protect Anne! He couldn't even try to save her! He abandoned her! Which is why I can't give up!
- I know. I know, and I'm truly sorry. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, I just want to tell you that it was up to him to reassure you when you and Anne were alone, that it wasn't up to you to take responsibility for your sister's safety or mine... And that you don't have to do it now either.'
He closed the gap between them once more. He was close enough now that his clenched fists were the final barrier between them, pressed between their chests.
'You don't have to take on this role. I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for you, carrying that burden and refusing to show how much it cost you. And I also know that this curse must have made you feel even worse. I know there's no comparison, but it eats away at me too, to be so powerless when Anne is suffering.
- Except that we don't have to be any more.' This time, Sebastian's voice was lower, almost pleading, as if he were trying to convince him in return. 'I now have the power to help her, to control this curse and take away her pain.'
Ominis shook his head. 'No magic, not even the darkest, can heal her.
He immediately felt Sebastian's body stiffen, and his fists were released as he furiously pulled free and stepped back. 'You have no right to say that. You can't tell me to give up, not now that I own this power. Not after everything I've sacrificed.'
His voice broke on that last word, with bravely contained sobs, and Ominis followed suit, refusing to abandon him, illustrating his words by their physical proximity.
'Except that you're not alone any more. You can count on us, on your teachers, and on me to look after you and to accompany you and Anne through this.'
For the first time, he hesitated for a moment, aware that his next words had the power to change things, positively or negatively, but finally, driven by urgency, he raised his hands again, meeting his friend's drawn face, and managed to articulate slowly.
'You are loved, Sebastian. Anne loves you with all her heart, our new friend loves you and... I love you too. More than anything. If you continue on this path, you risk losing us and yourself along the way, but if you give up, if you accept that we are powerless in the face of this tragedy, you need to know that you will always be loved and supported, that we will all be there for you.'
Ominis thought his friend was going to back away, to break contact, but, strangely, Sebastian didn't pull away. He bit his lip lightly to suppress his grief and stroked Sebastian's cheekbones tenderly, aware that he was playing for big stakes and that a single word could tip the balance against him.
'You did everything you could and even more, more than anyone else. To your credit, it was incredibly brave... But you can't save her, not even with dark magic. But you can be there for her, accompanying her along the road you still have to travel together. You can come back to our side, walk out of here with me, and we'll forget any of this ever happened. We'll find Anne again and we'll be together until the end, whatever happens. But for that to happen, you have to let go and accept that there's nothing you can do. That it's not your fault, and it's not your responsibility. That you have every right to be angry and sad, but you don't have to go down that road. Even Anne told you that earlier. So let's go home, okay? Together.'
He felt Sebastian's lips tremble, and he was only sure he had chosen the right words when a tear slipped through his fingers, momentarily paralysing him.
They had already been vulnerable to each other. Sebastian had seen and heard him cry when the nightmares had haunted his nights, and he himself had held him in his arms when he had burst into tears the day he had learned that Anne could not be cured. Ominis had already dried his tears, heard his voice falter, and yet this simple mark of suffering, this tear in the determined facade his friend had worn for months, took his breath away.
'Talk to me,' Ominis insisted gently, 'I want to help you, so say something, anything.'
There were a few more long seconds of silence, broken only by the harsh breathing of the Infernis, and then, at last, a whisper, so low that he almost didn't hear it.
'I can't let her suffer, Ominis... I can't bear to see her like this and be so powerless…
- I know,' Ominis breathed softly as tears burned his eyes, 'I know it's eating you up. But you don't have to carry this burden alone. You can talk to me about it, and we can ask for help so that we can all be supported in this ordeal.
-You can't ask me to do that. You can't ask me to give up when I'm so close to my goal.
- I'm so sorry, Sebastian... But this is an illusion... This is not a goal we can achieve. Not even with the relic.'
He felt his friend's jaws tighten, as if he was about to let his anger explode... Or rather, as if he was making a superhuman effort to give himself a more confident air and mask the distress in which he was drowning. Then a hand came to meet his, the one that was still throbbing from the cut on his palm, clinging to it like a lifeline.
'Please don't ask me to do that... I can't let her suffer. She's my sister, Ominis, my other half, and I... (His voice broke.) I can't accept this, otherwise... Otherwise she'll leave me and I'll really be alone this time.'
Another tear slipped down the back of their joined hands and, despite his best efforts, Ominis's lips began to tremble. 'You will never be alone. I'll be with you.'
Sebastian shook his head and let out a hiccup. 'No, just… Please, don't ask me to do that. I need you to support me in this research. I need your help.
- And that's what I'm here for,' Ominis reassured him, 'I'm going to help you leave this path and I'm going to take you back with me into the light, back to Anne. But to do that, to protect you, we have to destroy the relic and the book, together.'
Faced with his friend's silence, Ominis brushed a lock of Sebastian's hair with his free hand, tucking it tenderly behind his ear before lodging his hand in the back of his neck.
'We're going to lose her, Sebastian, whatever you do. But if you use dark magic, if you choose this path, you will lose her from today, you will no longer be allowed to see her. And I want to spare you that suffering. And so does Anne. You won't be betraying anyone by renouncing the darkness, you won't be disappointing anyone either, and you won't be any less deserving of our love, quite the contrary, because we'll know that you made the right choice. An impossibly difficult choice, but the only one that will allow us to stay together, the three of us, and love each other while we have the time.'
His thumb drew a soothing circle on the back of Sebastian's neck, feeling every muscle tense beneath his skin and praying that his words were enough to convince him.
'Come with me. Let's go home and find Anne.'
He distinctly felt something break in front of him when something suddenly released in the back of Sebastian's neck, and for an eternal second, they remained like that, silent, out of time.
For a moment, Ominis thought he had failed, that he had lost his closest friend forever.
Then, deliverance came.
All around them, the Inferi suddenly collapsed, reduced to ashes, and he only realised he had been holding his breath when he let out a long, shuddering sigh. A heavy sob shook Sebastian's shoulders and new tears rolled down his cheeks, soaking their entwined hands. 'I'm. just.. It hurts so much, Ominis... I'm so angry…
- I know…
- And I'm so... so scared... (A hiccup interrupted him.) I don't want to be alone... Not again…
- You'll never be alone. Anne will always be with you. And so will I. And we'll find adults who can protect you through this.'
Sebastian searched for words for a long time, then a thud made Ominis realise that the relic had just been dropped to the ground. That he had let go. Then, at last, they fell into each other's arms, embracing so violently that they were both breathless. They clutched at each other's robes, shoulders and hair, and yet Ominis didn't wince, even when he was certain that his best friend's hands were leaving bruises in their wake. Relief had taken hold of him, banishing pain and fear, and he didn't immediately realise that he had started to cry too.
They slid to the floor, kneeling in the ashes and dust, their faces buried in each other's throats, and he let Sebastian sob against his robe, clinging to him with excruciatingly visceral grief. He made no further attempt to convince him, nor to thank him for choosing them, he simply drew him closer, letting his brown locks caress his face as he breathed out with palpable relief. 'I'm here. I'm here, I won't leave you.'
Merlin, thank you... Thank you for giving him back to me…
They remained embraced on the underground floor for a long time, and would have stayed there even longer if the sound of footsteps hadn't attracted Ominis' attention, who immediately stiffened. Despite the urgency that made his heart pound in his chest, he ensured that his tone remained calm and benevolent, and he was amazed at his own composure when he gently kissed the top of Sebastian's head.
'You've been incredibly brave, and Anne will be just as grateful to you for choosing us. But time is running out,' he added, running a gentle hand down his friend's back, 'I know it's difficult, but we need to destroy the relic and the book, and we need to do it now.'
Sebastian sat up slightly, his eyes flushed and his cheeks wet with tears. 'No... Not yet, please…
- I'm sorry, but we must leave no trace of dark magic behind us, and reinforcements are on their way.
- Reinfo-… What?
- Anne's gone to get help, as you asked. After all, the four of us - Anne, the new pupil, you and I - came down here because we were looking for a way to save your sister, only we didn't know that there were Infernos swarming the catacombs. You heroically offered to confront them and hold them back while we barricaded the door and went to get help. That's what happened, isn't it?
- But that's not…
- Isn't it,' Ominis insisted, tightening his grip on Sebastian's shoulders, who shuddered as if he'd finally regained his grip on reality.
- It's... Yes... Yes, that's what happened…
- Right, good. So for the reinforcements to believe our version, we have to destroy the relic and the book. Then we can go home and forget the whole thing, OK?
- My uncle will never believe us. He knows what I was up to, he'll tell Black and…
- That's why we have to destroy the evidence,' murmured Ominis, lowering her voice, 'so that our mutual friend, who is currently on her way to Hogwarts to speak to the Headmaster before Solomon, can convince him that your uncle has been paranoid ever since he had to retire.'
The footsteps came closer and closer, and a cold sweat covered Ominis' forehead as he realised that they only had a few seconds to destroy the traces of black magic. Sebastian had to make up his mind, now.
'Please, Sebastian, we have to do it now.
- I can't do it…
- Then let's do it together.'
He heard an insult reverberate off the walls - Solomon, no doubt followed by Anne - and he helped his friend to his feet. Finally, as the noises echoed closer and closer, Sebastian nodded slowly, his eyes empty and his heart broken. Surprised by his own boldness, buoyed by his relief, Ominis cupped his face again with his hands and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. 'You beautiful idiot. You are wonderful and incredibly brave.'
Instinctively, their free hands found each other and, with the other, they raised their wands, first towards the book, which they set on fire with the same gesture. Then, clasping their intertwined fingers and exchanging glances - determined for Ominis and trembling for Sebastian - they turned to the relic.
At first, he thought it would resist, that it would be impossible to destroy and that dark magic would refuse to be defeated, but it shattered before he had time to express his fear. It was almost... disappointing. Yet he was only reassured when he crushed the shards of glass and bone with the heel of his shoe and heard them crackle. Only then did he allow himself to let out a long, shaky sigh.
'There' he breathed, squeezing Sebastian's hand in his, 'it's over, it's all over now.'
Sebastian nodded slowly but didn't reply, clearly exhausted and desperate that his plan had failed.
'Nothing can happen to you now,' Ominis insisted, 'and I'll be with you all the way. We'll look after each other and ask the teachers for support. Everything will be fine, I promise.'
This time, the footsteps were almost upon them, but when Sebastian replied in a hoarse voice, Ominis heard him in spite of everything.
'Thank you... Thank you for saving me…
- I told you, I'm here for you.'
They exchanged exhausted smiles, and when Solomon appeared at the entrance to the room, he found them standing in the middle of a circle of glowing bodies. They were still holding hands, their faces blackened by the ashes and white lines drawn by the tears on their cheeks, upright among the flames, glowing in the darkness of the catacombs. With no trace of dark magic to accuse them.
I hope you enjoyed it! The Sebinis brainrot has been pretty violent over the last few days, so I'm at least writing another fic about them, much softer this time! :)