Shadow the Hedgehog

In Search of Spirit

By Kellie Fay

Authors Note: This contains references to "Sonic X Shadow Generations" and may contain spoilers. If you don't want spoilers play the game first, then read. This story also contains references and characters to previous stories of mine. If you are curious about Pie, Peaches and Hikaru feel free to enjoy my earlier tales. On that note I know Cannon says that all the games occur on Earth, yet most of my fanfic is based on Sonic X with the games thrown in where I can make them fit. So, in order to make this fit I am deliberately being vague on exactly where Shadow and company are.

As always Shadow, Sonic and company belong to Sega. My creativity demons simply require I do this.

If you enjoy, please review. Yes, I am working on another story. It's not complete yet but soon will be and then to editing. I just felt after seeing "Dark Beginnings" and the cut scenes for "Sonic X Shadow Generations" I needed to do this for Shadow.

…

Nothing! For all the power I have I could do nothing for them!

Shadow the Hedgehog sat in the lily field feeling the cool damp breeze flow thought his quills. Looking at the charred tree stump through the pre-dawn fog, he sullenly thought about the last few days. Hmmm a misnomer if I ever heard one. We arrived back at the same exact moment in time as we all left, and everything went back to the way it was.

Shadow picked up a small stone, at first intending to throw it against the stump of the tree he destroyed earlier but decided against it. He promised Marie he would no longer fight with anger in his heart, and he intended to keep that promise.

Without anger, however, all he had left to feel was a profound sadness and loss. He couldn't do anything to change The Professor's or Maria's fate. GUN still murdered Maria, and Professor Gerald still fell mad then GUN executed him as well. Nothing had changed.

Not exactly true, the thought penetrated his grief, I changed. Seeing them both there even for that short time calmed some of my anger and I learned more about my connection to Black Doom. I need to be careful from now on. If my powers grow or change it may be a sign of Black Doom trying to return. I wonder if there is a way to block or sever that connection? Would that weaken The Black Arms further?

A soft whipping sound alerted Shadow that someone approached. Shadow looked about ready to attack then dissipated the energy when he saw Sonic's friend Tails landing fifty feet away.

The little fox kit waited patiently until Shadow nodded, indicating that he could approach.

"Hey Shadow," Tails greeted him softly "We've been finding Chaos Emeralds again, and Sonic and I thought you could use one. I know your Chaos powers work better when you have at least one emerald." Tails drew closer and handed Shadow the yellow Chaos Emerald, at least Shadow thought it was a Chaos Emerald.

He couldn't resist asking, "Is this a Chaos Emerald? Or is it your fake one?"

Tails laughed. "It's the real one," Tails assured him. "I can tell the difference; I made it after all. Sonic can't, why did you give Sonic the fake one anyway?"

"As you said my Chaos abilities work better when I have one. I needed it, and if you knew he had the fake emerald, you do know Rouge switched it before you needed all of them."

Tails nodded. "I noticed, or rather my past self, noticed Rouge making the switch and he told me. I asked her why after the party. You didn't seem to want to talk to anyone then."

He still didn't want to talk about his experience in White Space. It still stuck in his throat that he saw The Professor and Maria and he could not help them.

"Shadow?" Tails' voice caught his attention again. When Shadow looked up the young kit asked, "Are you all right? You seem a little sad."

Shadow sighed and looked at Tails crossly. "You got to meet your past selves, who became like friends to you. I…I had a different experience. I did learn a great deal about myself, and I completed my primary objective, but it did leave me with more questions than answers." Then an idea came to him. "Who among your people would know more about time travel?"

Tails eyes narrowed a moment, but then his expression softened. "I asked Kat if anything like The Time Eater was ever documented in the Kitsune archives, but she and the scholars didn't find anything. If you want to ask general time travel questions, I'd tell you to contact Hikaru. He can see through time and he studies time anomalies."

Now he had something he could try. Shadow got to his feet and faced Tails directly. "I'd like to talk to him."

….

"And if I told you that you should not pursue this possibility, will you listen to me?" The five tailed kitsune said regarding Shadow thoughtfully.

Shadow sipped at his coffee and leaned back on the cushioned red bench looking at Hakaru skeptically. Hikaru acted more casually than most kitsune. He had Shadow meet him in this cozy coffee shop filled with flowers and the scents of pies and hearty stews. People wandered in and out as they chatted paying no attention to the pair. Still Shadow regarded the kitsune with suspicion. Unlike most common kitsune, Hikaru had five tails and had the power of the Hanna-Kubi in his bloodline.

Shadow put his coffee cup back down on the grey laminate table. Looking directly at the kitsune to show he did not fear their magic, Shadow said sternly, "I'd want a good reason why. I'm trying to save my creator and my best friend."

"She was far more than that to you Shadow," Hikaru answered. He took a bite of pie and chewed thoroughly before adding, "and I believe you already received that reason. I know that this is not the first-time anomaly you have experienced. You were shown what would have happened had you not been created."

"What how- "Shadow began but then remembered what Tails said. Hikaru could see though time. "What do you know about that? I thought it only a vision."

"It was and it was not," Hikaru explained. He closed his eyes for a moment, and added, "I see a spirit, a badger. Time is meaningless where spirits dwell, and some stronger spirits can bring what they see within The Dreamscape to show us what could have been. That is where premonitions come from as well as the vision you experienced."

On the one hand that meant that if he had not been created it would not have changed Maria's fate, but could he not help her now? He had been reluctant to enter Maria's special room within his home. He knew he had dreams about her in there, and he worried what would he dream if he went in there now. Still, he felt he had to do something. He asked, "so, is my fate predestined? Is everyone's?"

Hikaru ate another bite of pie. "Again, the answer is yes and no. The ordinary can build and construct their destiny from their experiences and choices, but beings such as you and Sonic? If you look back at your own life you will realize that you were given only a few nexus events where you could have changed your destiny. From what I can see in the past you have had at least three of those events. Fortunately, each time you chose a destiny that benefited the world. Unfortunately, often choosing a destiny that benefits others often comes at a personal price."

"That is not fair," Shadow grumbled. "Why should I have to sacrifice anything when I am benefiting the world?"

Now Hikaru looked sad. "I do not know the answer to that one, my friend. Our elders often tell us that the path of light is a narrow one, and not an easy one to tread. Is that what troubles you?"

I don't know," Shadow admitted. He accepted another cup of coffee from the waitress, a tortoiseshell cat, wearing a neat pink uniform. He put a teaspoon of sugar in the cup and stirred. Sipping at the coffee he finally came upon a thought. "I just wonder, what did they know when GUN raided. I tried to warn them, but the time anomaly dissolved too quickly."

"Why did you not tell them earlier?" Hikaru asked.

Shadow let out a small growl in frustration. "Ironically enough, I thought I had time to," he grumbled.

"You chose to put it off," Hikaru stated, "and you know why you did so."

Shadow glared at the kitsune warning him that he was close to crossing a personal line, but Shadow knew that Hikaru was right. "I…I did not want to frighten Maria, or cause pain to the Professor." Shadow confessed. "How could I tell him that in his future he would go mad and try to turn me into a weapon of mass destruction?"

"And that is the same reason why the white hedgehog will not discuss future events with any of you," Hikaru explained. "And like you, your sister in spirit may have been waiting for you to reach that moment in time to discuss it with you."

That was an idea that had not occurred to Shadow. "So, you believe that they would remember the event."

"They may not have in life, but as a spirit? Time is all times, and all souls are one soul" Hakaru reminded Shadow of the kitsune proverb. "Anything that happened to them inside or outside of time they can recall now. The fact that since you have built your shrine and have felt her love for you within should tell your heart that she does not regret her choices."

That comforted Shadow immensely, but that only answered half of that equation. "I believe you are right, but I only feel one presence within my shrine. I have never felt the presence of my creator, and my existence alone should have created a link for him to me if I understand correctly the literature, I have read in the kitsune royal library."

Hakaru raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously. Shadow couldn't hide the smirk that played across his face. Commoners were not supposed to have access to that library, but all Shadow had to do was ask, and Katrina, through Tails, would send him the books he wished to read.

"Ahhh," Hakaru said with a chuckle. "You came here asking questions about the fluid nature of time. Those I can answer. In a question about the spirits, I have little to no skill. I am after all only Hanna-Kubi and have already passed the period where I would have reached full power by my own choice. If you wish to ask questions of the nature of spirits, you need to seek another."

Hikaru was playing with him, but Shadow had an idea why. He knew exactly who Shadow could consult, if he chose to exercise that right.

"You are correct," Shadow said finishing his coffee and waving away the waitress who moved to come fill his cup.

"For that I need a full Kubi."

…

Shadow opened his eyes and looked at Pie quizzically. "Well?" he asked.

Pie, sitting across from Shadow on the ground within the secret Chao Garden crafted by her grandmother's magic, studied him carefully. "It is difficult to say," she told him worriedly. "Like with Sonic I can sense a great deal of untapped potential within you. It may be, like Sonic, these new powers will reawaken if you feel you need them to."

The evaluation both comforted and concerned Shadow at the same time. "The powers were useful, but if using them will cause Black Doom to return, I can do without them; unless you can do something to sever or cleanse the connection I have to him."

Pie nodded in agreement. "It may be possible to do so, but it would take the spell work of a Master Healer."

"You're level?" Shadow asked.

Pie considered that. "If not a Kubi then a Hanna Kubi preparing to ascend, but my strengths do lie in healing. I will need to do some research, but perhaps I can find a way to help you reacquire those powers."

Shadow shrugged. "If you can, I would be grateful, but that is not a priority for me. The reason I came to you is that while I was in the time anomaly I encountered my creator…and Maria."

Pie knew Shadow's history, and at once became concerned. "Do you fear you did something to change their time?"

Shadow shook his head no. "I have already spoken to Hikaru about the time travel aspect. I surmised that they came from an earlier point in time than the Ark disaster, and I was unable to warn them, so I did not change their timeline, but now I wonder what they knew and when they knew it. I have so many questions, and the one who has the answers is lost to me. I know I feel Maria within my home, but only once did I suspect that my creator's spirit was active and watching out for me, and that was after your grandmother requested help from spirits."

Pie digested this thoughtfully. Peaches, her grandmother's chao companion, who sat there listening to their conversation, chirped something at her causing the kitsune to nod at the little creature. "Yes, that is a possibility." She turned back to Shadow. "It would take another spirit quest, but it can be done."

Shadow remembered that it was the spirit quest with Pie's grandmother that put him in touch with Maria, perhaps he needed another one to put him in touch with the Professor.

"When do you wish to do this?" he asked eagerly.

…

Shadow sat before Pie with the White Chaos Emerald between them just as he had done before with Pie's Grandmother, Cobbler.

"I shall shift the energies for you," Pie instructed him, "All you have to do is allow the energies to carry you along."

Shadow nodded then focused his eyes on the Chaos Emerald before him. Pie had told him that they needed to use this white emerald instead of the one he received from Tails because she needed these specific energies to send Shadow to the proper place.

As before he allowed the glow and energies of the Chaos Emerald to flow over him and draw him in, making his limbs heavy and his eyes close.

To his surprise when Shadow opened his eyes again, he did not find himself in a field of flowers. Instead, he found himself looking at familiar metal walls lined with floor lighting. He recognized the barren corridors from the Ark. "This is puzzling," he said to himself. He began to wander the halls of the space station, wondering where he should look. After a few minutes of searching the halls, he heard the sounds of computers. Realizing that if this had been the real Ark the Professor's main lab would be near, he decided to try there.

When the door to the Professor's lab slid open, Shadow walked inside. The lab didn't look exactly the way Shadow remembered it. There were fewer tables, and no specimens. Instead, there were a multitude of computer monitors. He remembered the Professor having only four different computer monitors constantly analyzing various experiments at the same time. Now there were a dozen monitors each showing someone Shadow knew on them. He saw Doctor Eggman, the professor's grandson, on one of them, and Sonic on another. Shadow even saw Knuckles and Tochi on one of the monitors.

In the middle of the computers and monitors and piles of folders and notes stood Professor Gerald watching the monitors and taking notes.

Shadow wasn't sure how to approach him, he wanted to ask dozens of questions including Why did you try to turn me into a weapon of mass destruction? But that would only hurt The Professor, and not really resolve anything. During his first vision quest he promised Marie he would forgive her grandfather the wrongs he did personally to him, and Shadow would not take back that promise now.

Shadow began to clear his throat to at least say hello to him, when the Professor spoke first, "Hello my son."

Suddenly tongue tied and bashful Shadow simply replied. "Professor,"

An uncomfortable silence hung in the room for a few seconds then simultaneously they both said, "I'm sorry."

That surprised the Professor. "What do you have to be sorry for, Shadow? It was I that wronged you, and the people of Earth."

Shadow winced. "Because I knew. When I saw you in the time anomaly I knew your fates, and I didn't warn you."

Gerald looked at Shadow with a mixture of understanding and sympathy. "I believed you tried to at the last moment."

"I should have warned you sooner!" Shadow said frustrated with himself. "I didn't know how to warn you without telling you the worst of it."

"It is all right Shadow," The professor said gently. "I…suspected that something dire had happened to us. You seemed surprised to see us at first and the way you looked at Maria. I knew something must have occurred to make you so serious."

"I should have warned you as soon as I saw you." Shadow growled. Then he blushed at the show of aggression in front of the professor.

"I understand why you did not," Gerald told him. "It is said a man should not know his future."

"But it could have saved Maria, and you!" Shadow insisted.

"But if you had attacked the GUN soldiers instead of fleeing with Maria it might have turned out worse, and you would not have been where you needed to be to save the world." Gerald reminded him.

That sounded very similar to what Hakaru told him. Shadow sighed. "I still wish things had gone differently," he said sadly.

"And I wish I had made different choices," The Professor replied. "And that goes back to what I wanted to tell you. I am sorry for what I did to you."

"I forgave you for that long ago," Shadow reminded him. "I know you were not well when you did those things."

"And I thank you for that," Gerald said with a smile. "That does allow my guardians to give me some leniency in my purgatory."

"Purgatory?" Shadow looked about again. It still looked like the Professor's laboratory in the Ark, but then he noticed that the door was missing. "Wait are you a prisoner here?"

"Not exactly," The professor explained. "I'm supposed to watch for certain types of trouble and notify my guardians. It is they who find others to deal with it, but there are a few occasions where they allow me to act on their behalf, and I am allowed to spend some time with Maria and receive visitors."

"But why- "Shadow began to ask, but the Professor made a slight grunt cutting him off.

"This is my penance, Shadow. I can watch for trouble, but for the most part I am not permitted to act on it." The Professor changed a few more monitors to view different scenes. "I suppose it came from acting too much on impulse. I made a number of bad decisions, so now I must observe, think more, and act less."

Shadow wanted to protest that it wasn't fair, but the Professor sounded like he agreed with his sentence. Still Shadow wanted to remind the Professor that he wasn't always wrong. "After your experience in the time anomaly you chose to train me as a fighter," he said.

Now the professor chuckled. "After I saw what you would be facing in your future yes, and reports of your progress did keep certain individuals off our backs for a few months. I don't remember if I ever said this directly to you, but I'm proud of you, my boy." He turned to Shadow and gently placed his hand upon the top of Shadow's head. Shadow, understanding the gesture, bowed his head and closed his eyes. The Professor sighed then continued. "Right or wrong I am proud to have made you. I only wish I had made different choices when I did so. I'm proud of the guardian that you have become, I'm proud of you for resisting the programming I tried to inflict upon you, and I'm proud of how you protected the world again and again."

…

When Shadow opened his eyes again, he sat once again before Pie. The kitsune vixen looked Shadow up and down. "Did you get the answers you wanted Shadow?" She asked.

To Shadow's surprise he realized he never asked many of the questions he intended to, but he did not feel that he failed in this quest. "Not all of them," he admitted, blinking away a few tears. "However, I believe I received the answers I needed." Shadow rose to his feet and graced the kitsune priestess with a bow. "Thank you, Pie. I do believe it helped."

Pie smiled and managed a bow while still seated. Her little Chao Peaches giggled behind her. "You are quite welcome Shadow. I was happy to have helped you."

Shadow left the Chao Garden and noted that it was only an hour before dawn. Using the Chaos Emerald that Tails gave him, he teleported back to his home. For a few minutes Shadow stood at the threshold of the doorway to his second room just thinking. He thought about what happened within White Space, he thought about his conversations with Hikaru and Pie, and he thought about the two spirit quests Pie and her grandmother sent him on.

Then he opened the door and went inside.