Summary
Astarion suffers from nightmares of Cazador, who threatens his newfound freedom and relationship with Talin. Despite his fear, Astarion and Talin receive promising news from a heraldry expert about Astarion's origins. As they plan and prepare to leave to find his family, Astarion fights with anxiety and uncertainty about his future.
There he was, in the dark, damp kennel once again, struggling against the rattling chains. "No, not this again." He pulled and tugged desperately, but the iron chains held firm around his wrists. Then, he heard footsteps drawing closer toward him with each step. His breath caught in his throat when a sudden menacing laugh followed, reverberating through the shadows. Astarion's eyes darted nervously around the dark chamber, then paused at the faint shape of the door while the sound grew louder and louder and more menacing with each new wave. He knew that baleful cackle all too well and wanted to escape before it got too close. In a state of desperation, with his breath coming in short, he frantically pulled on the chains with all the strength he could muster, tearing flesh and skin and leaving raw, scarlet scars around his wrists. Dread crawled its way up his spine, raising the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck when the laugh ceased suddenly, and a dim light slowly crept through the opening door, revealing Cazador's looming silhouette. His crimson-glowing eyes, radiating malice, cut through the darkness and immediately landed on Astarion.
"There you are. Our little runaway. Did you truly believe you were free?" Cazador sneered, quite amused by Astarion's fear and humiliation.
Astarion shook his head repeatedly in disbelief, and his entire body trembled from the shock as Cazador ominously drew closer, familiar staff in hand. "No, this can't be real. You're dead."
Cazador let out an atrocious chuckle, then went on, "Do you think you can just go back to your old life? You were a worthless child who achieved nothing. I made you! You will never know anything else save me and that weak little girl, who you'll bring to me and watch as I snuff the light from her eyes." Cazador spoke slowly, deliberately taunting him with each cruel word.
"No, you can't compel me anymore!" Astarion snarled, tugging at the chains defiantly.
"Pathetic little boy," Cazador sniggered. "Have you forgotten my power, hm? You can never escape me. You are mine , forever…"
Meanwhile, in the comforts of the soft feathered bed, Astarion tossed and twisted desperately. Every muscle in his body tensed as his hands clenched tightly at the bedsheets, almost ripping them. His struggles had woken up Talin. She fluttered her eyes open, and it took her a moment to realize what was happening. She jumped up instantly when she realized Astarion was having another nightmare and nudged him, calling out gently, but he did not wake up. "Astarion, wake up," she called out again with growing urgency, shaking him more vigorously to wake him from his torment. The second shaking worked, and he awakened with a gasp, blinking and breathing heavily.
"It's all right now. I'm here. You were having a bad dream." Talin spoke softly, gently removing a lock of hair from his forehead, searching for his eyes in the dark.
He stared blankly at her for a few seconds, still shaken by the dream and unsure how to respond. Then, a sense of relief took hold as he realized that the chains, the dungeon, were nothing more than a vivid dream. He gathered his strength to pull himself upright, regaining his composure. "Yes. It was just a bad dream. Thank you for waking me. You should get back to sleep now, darling," he said softly, attempting to hide his despair. He wanted to turn his face away from her so she wouldn't notice the fright on it, so he moved and sat at the edge of the bed.
She didn't need to look at his face to notice his shallow, uneven breaths in the quiet room. It wasn't the first time she had caught him like this. Sometimes, while they were resting in their camp during their travels, he would mumble in his sleep or jolt awake from his bedroll trembling, followed by the same shallow breathing. She moved closer, kneeling behind him. As she gently touched his shoulder, she noticed his skin felt unusually cold beneath her fingers. "It was Cazador again, wasn't it?"
Astarion chuckled bitterly. "He's gone, Talin, yet he still haunts me. I'll never be free of him," he presumed, his voice trailing off, filled with despair.
"Of course you will. He can no longer hurt you. Remember, you are not alone now. I'm here."
She wrapped her arms around him, her palms landing on his chest while she nestled her head on his back. He was still quivering a little in her arms, and he could not control it no matter how much he tried to steady himself. He wasn't exactly thrilled when she had to witness him like this, but part of him felt grateful for her presence in these moments of misery, and he didn't want to think how he would have gone through this torment without her unwavering support and patience, so he gave into her touch. The warmth of her body and her steady heartbeat against his cold skin brought him a sense of comfort and safety.
He exhaled a deep breath and cupped her hand with his, squeezing it tight. Her reassuring words calmed his nerves a little, enough to stop the shivering and slow down his breathing. "What if this nightmare never stops?" Swallowed by doubt, he questioned the endlessness of his torment, wondering if his pain would ever end.
"With time, it will fade," she said, shifting beside him. "Cazador will be forgotten, just as he deserves." Her brows creased into a frown as she spoke, gritting her teeth. "He's gone for good, rotting in the depths of his own filthy dungeon. Although, he deserved far worse than death. I wish we could've doomed his soul to the hells for all eternity or tear it to shreds." The muscles in her face tightened at the thought of Cazador's wicked smile and his insolent posture, spewing insults. Her little hands balled into fists at her sides as anger crept into her chest. She spoke in such a low voice filled with contempt that surprised Astarion a little, distracting him from his struggle for a moment. He looked at her curiously, studying her features as she stared into a single spot on the wall. The wrath in her eyes and the frowning barely did anything to diminish her loveliness. If anything, it made her even more desirable, and he couldn't turn his gaze away. He rather liked this slightly merciless side of her that emerged from time to time. It intrigued him, excited him even just when he thought she couldn't surprise him anymore. "His grip on you will start to fade," she went on, "and I will not rest until it vanishes completely." She turned and smiled at him, all traces of anger disappearing from her face, when she met his adoring eyes.
With an arch of a brow, he smirked back at her. "Such a fierce little thing you are. Just when I thought I couldn't love you more. Seriously, thank you for saying that." He allowed himself a moment to drink in her loveliness, to study her every feature, slowly sweeping his fingers through her silky, silver locks. "It's ironic, isn't it?" His voice, softer than before, lowered to a whisper, yet his gaze was quite the contrast. It bore into her eyes with even more intensity than before. "I've been forced to bed thousands of people, most of whom I don't even remember. Yet here you sit right next to me, the only person I care about, and I can't be close to you. If only you knew how much I want to," he said sadly, a queasy sensation instantly shaping in his gut at the thought of his past conquests. His gaze dropped, and he turned his head to the side as if trying to hide the shame and guilt that crushed him.
"You needn't worry about that, Astarion." She took his chin and gently tugged until he met her gaze again and smiled at him. "We're elves. Even when we find a cure for you, we'll still have all the time in the world to taste all the delights life could offer." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
"I know. Immortal or not, that is not how I want to live—consumed by fear," he countered. "I want to be able to take you anywhere, anytime I want, without these feelings and memories gushing every time I remotely think about being close to you. And you're not helping, you know, always being so lovely."
His attempt at a jab brought a little smile to her face, but his previous words revealed a vulnerability that quickly made the smile fade, so she offered a proposal, hoping to ease his mind a little and give him something to hold onto for a while. "All right, how about this? We find your family first, and once you have reclaimed your past, we can try again, as slowly as you need, without any pressure. Until then, I promise to be less lovely." Talin suggested, smirking and looking at him. "Now, come back to bed. We should get some rest. The heraldry master will be here early."
Astarion chuckled a bit. "You could try, but I don't think it's going to work. But you're right. Anyway, I don't think I can sleep now, but you should. You need to rest. I'll take a walk."
"Then I'll come with you." She rose from the bed and headed to the dresser to find some proper clothes to replace her sleeping nightgown.
"No, you should stay," he insisted. "I'm… feeling a little peckish, and I don't want your pretty little eyes to witness what I'm about to do on my… walk."
"Talin let out a small chuckle and casually waved her hand at him. "Oh, please. I've seen you do far worse than feeding." She picked a casual linen shirt and a pair of trousers to match.
"Please," he took her hand just as she turned. "I need some alone time to clear my head."
She stopped and looked at him, considering his request. She didn't want him to be alone now, but he believed it would help him, so she complied, respecting his wishes. However, it pained her that Astarion still had to struggle with his hunger and keep it under control, especially now in the city, where finding prey was much more difficult and dangerous. She was still worried that he might kill an innocent, or worse even, what if he got caught? "All right. But will you-"
"I'm not going to kill anyone, don't worry. I promised no innocents," he reassured her, but that did little to ease her mind. He brought her hand, which was still in his grasp, closer to his lips and gently kissed it before he turned to get dressed.
Her eyes followed him as he donned his clothes, watching how his muscles rippled as he threw his sleeping shirt over his head, casually tossing it on the bed before putting on a fine shirt more suited for a walk outside. She felt her cheeks flush a little, but she couldn't look away until he was fully dressed again.
"Get some rest. Don't wait for me." He pressed a soft kiss on her forehead and disappeared through the doorway. Even after he left, the image still lingered in her mind.
She sat on the bed for a while, unsure what to do. The shirt he tossed on the bed earlier caught her attention, and she dragged it close, inhaling his perfume: bergamot, rosemary, and a fine, well-aged brandy. Since she couldn't accompany Astarion and sleep eluded her, she needed some distraction and decided to pass the time with a book, hoping to find some respite from her own restless thoughts. She lit the candelabra on the little side table near the fireplace, grabbed the latest book she was reading and sank into the lavish armchair. Luckily, the book was interesting enough to hold her attention for a while, but when Astarion returned, he found her asleep on the reading chair, her grip loose on the book resting on her lap. He chuckled softly, set the book aside, picked her up carefully so as not to wake her, and carried her over to the bed. As soon as he laid her down gently, she woke up.
"You're back," she said quietly, pushing herself onto her forearms. She was barely awake but relieved to see him back safe, nonetheless.
He sat on the bed beside her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. You'd fallen asleep on the chair."
"Right. I was waiting for you, and I must have drifted off."
"I told you not to wait for me."
"I couldn't sleep," she said, wiping the residue blood at the corner of his lips with her thumb. "I take it your hunt was successful."
Astarion sighed. "I wouldn't exactly call it a success, but at least it was something. I almost went outside the city gates."
"Astarion, please. Just take mine." She urged him to stop resisting and risking being caught.
"No, please stop tempting me. It's already difficult for me to resist as it is."
"But I don't understand. Why are you fighting this? You've done this before, and you know I'm not afraid," she pressed, knowing that what she was offering would make him stronger and sustain him much longer without harming her or putting him in danger.
He rose suddenly from the bed and stood before the window, gazing at the tranquil, sleeping city below. "I'm doing this for us. As much as I'd like to indulge, it's simply too risky," he explained. "Your family already sees me as some monster, and they only allowed you to stay with me out of fear that you might do something impulsive, like running away and causing a scene. This way, your paladin brother gets to keep a close eye on me, waiting for the slightest misstep on my part. I've never been entirely comfortable here, Talin. And we don't know how much longer your father is going to tolerate this," he admitted. As he spoke, he continued to gaze through the window, yet it was evident from the tone of his voice that he was deeply concerned. Even if they were to discover the details about his past life as a magistrate, Valyndor may still not bless their relationship. "I only agreed to stay because of you. Perhaps I should've remained at the inn." He paused and looked at her, troubled and conflicted with longing and bloodthirst that, at times, he was barely able to restrain. "So please, don't tempt me further. Controlling my hunger around you is a challenge." The constant awareness of the deliciousness of her distinct noble blood and how her magic sustained him far beyond the usual was wearing him down. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed to resist the call of his hunger when the scent and the pulse of the living source near him were so alluring.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I don't want you to constantly be on edge," she said softly, her words filled with understanding. "She hesitated for a moment, then went on. "Perhaps… we could find a better-suited place just for us, where you'll feel more at home once we know what our next move is." She tried to smile reassuringly.
"What, you'll just leave all this? Your family? Your silks and jewelry, the servants?" he asked, a bit skeptical.
"I'm not suggesting we move into a cave, far away from Baldur's Gate, Astarion. I can take my belongings with me. Perhaps Elara…"
"Without finding my family, I can't promise you anything, Talin, let alone a grand estate. I don't even remember my real home. And I'm not stepping another foot in Cazador's palace. I'd rather burn it to the ground."
She scoffed. "And what makes you think I'd want to live there, knowing everything that happened in that place? Eugh, and the decor. Honestly, what was Cazador thinking?"
"Let's not fool ourselves, Talin. You're used to a life of luxury and comfort."
She struggled to respond, not knowing what to say because his words rang true. Memories surged back from the days when they lived in makeshift tents and slept in the dirt for months. It was a brutal experience, one she hoped never to repeat again unless she absolutely had to. Settling for something less than she was accustomed to was scary, but perhaps that was a conversation better left for another day.
Astarion noticed her indecisiveness and chose to hold off on further discussions on the matter for now. Besides, their future was still uncertain at this point. While she struggled for an answer, his own mind was racing. Perhaps Valyndor knew this all along, so it was simpler to indulge Talin for a while until she realized herself that she couldn't follow this path instead of forbidding it completely and risking his daughter's rebellion. "Clever man." Astarion thought. Uncertain, perhaps, but their future was not yet decided. If this information about his noble origin proved true, the possibilities were endless—a hope for a future where he might find redemption, peace, and even more.
"It's getting late. We'll talk about this more another time," he suggested. "We need to focus on finding my family first. Come, let's get you that beauty sleep."
The following day, a loud knock roused both Talin and Astarion. Both of them got very little sleep, and what little they did get was restless. However, the sound seemed to startle Talin more. She gasped and jumped upright, her eyes darting around the room confused, wondering where the sound came from or what it was. She was having a strange dream, so the knock did not sound like a knock at all. "Wha–what happened?" she murmured, her voice barely audible in the early morning.
Astarion groaned and pushed himself upright slightly, supporting his weight on his forearm and rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. He seemed more annoyed than startled, still sore from the little rest he had gotten. All the same, his senses were still sharper than hers, so he quickly perceived that someone was knocking on the door. "I think it's the door, darling," he replied smoothly, glancing towards it.
Just as he uttered those words, there was another urgent knock on the door, and then a woman's voice from the other side called, "My lady, Master Edwin has arrived, requesting an audience with you. He says you were expecting him."
Talin immediately recognized Elara's slightly high-pitched voice, melodic even but warm regardless. She quickly remembered that she had made arrangements with the elderly gentlemen to bring them the news about his discovery and started panicking a little at the realization that she would not be able to receive the guest in time as she had planned. "Master Edwin!" she exclaimed. "Oh no, we overslept." She cleared her throat and yelled a little louder so Elara could hear her. "Show him to my study, Elara. I'll be there shortly." She threw back the covers in a hurry, which landed on Astarion's face and jumped out of the soft, warm bed. "Oh, gods, oh gods." She rushed to get dressed, but in all the chaos, she realized that she had not planned her outfit for today's visit, so she picked up the simplest robe she owned, as it would save her time putting it on and would be easiest to style.
Astarion removed the covers from his face that she unconsciously threw at him, arching a brow. "Hmm, I thought I was the only one who could instigate such sweet invocations from you. Shows what I know," he teased, smirking as he watched her move erratically around the room.
Despite her haste and embarrassment at keeping her guest waiting, she couldn't resist responding to his playful remark—even if it looked like she didn't hear him. "Oh, you have no idea about the extent of my vocabulary when it comes to you, dear," she glanced over her shoulder, then grabbed her robe and disappeared behind a changing screen, leaving him with a lingering smile and to his imagination.
Moments later, she reappeared and found Astarion risen from the bed and almost fully dressed. She rushed toward the mirror and started brushing her hair hastily but had no time for her usual styling, so she pulled it back into a simple bun and secured it with a few hairpins. There was no time to choose adornments either because it would be rude to make such an esteemed person as Master Edwin wait for her. "Such a mess," she mumbled while checking herself in the mirror, prompting Astarion to glance in her direction while he buttoned his shirt. Seemingly unbothered by the mess that was her gathered hair, he liked what he saw. Not that he didn't appreciate her sophisticated appearance and extravagant taste, which fascinated him how she always managed to pull it off and how it set her apart from the common folk so boldly, but there was a certain charm to this unrefined look, which made her seem more real and relatable. Yet, somehow, she still looked perfectly elegant.
"You look lovely, darling. Don't worry." Astarion said while taking a glimpse of her dissatisfied reflection in the mirror.
She knew she was beautiful, yet she never tired of hearing him say it, and his words always brought a smile to her face. With a sharp exhale, she gave her robe one final straightening, then turned to Astarion. "Aren't you excited? This could be a huge step forward."
"Of course I am. But I can't stop thinking about what Cazador said in my dream."
"What did he say?" she asked. She had always been curious about his nightmares, but she had come to understand that it was best not to ask for further details about them unless he was willing to share. And most of the time, after he would get the chance to calm a little, he was.
"Apart from other wretched things, he mentioned that I will never regain my old life."
"It wasn't real. Your mind is playing tricks on you now that we are closer to the truth."
"I know. But it's disturbing, nonetheless. Now. Let's not keep this gentleman waiting."
"Are you ready?" she asked.
"As ready as I can be."
They strode to the study to find Master Edwin, an elderly gentleman who was punctual as promised. He had already settled in and waited patiently for Talin and Astarion to join him, sipping a cup of herbal tea that Elara had served him. Talin's gaze immediately fell on the particularly large book that was resting on his knees. A thought crossed her mind. Such a huge volume must mean he has discovered something.
"Master Edwin," she greeted the man upon entering the room. "Thank you for coming. I hope you bring us good news."
"Greetings, my lady," the man replied and bowed slightly. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"So, my description has yielded results?" Talin asked, eagerly anticipating Edwin's next words.
"Indeed it has. I trust you are ready to hear what I have uncovered," Master Edwin said, taking one more sip from the tea before setting the teacup aside.
"Of course. Please," Talin extended her hand, pointing toward the armchair at the large desk. She glanced at Astarion briefly on her way to the desk to subtly check up on him.
Edwin nodded. "Very well." He rose from the chair, grasping the book, and walked slowly to the desk. Setting the book down, he opened it on a specific bookmarked page, and Talin immediately recognized the crest that Gale had seen in his vision. "This banner you see here," the man began, pointing at the drawing on the page, "belongs to an old house, Ancunín. And you see here in the middle the crest, matching the exact description you provided."
Talin narrowed her eyes slightly. "Does this mean that-"
"The house is of noble origin, yes." Edwin finished the sentence, confirming her question before she had the chance to ask it.
"Hold on. Did you say noble origin?" Astarion interrupted.
"That is correct," Edwin affirmed, looking briefly at him. His voice was steady and professional.
Astarion glanced at Talin, struggling to find the right words to say next. "For all we know, there could be many houses with that name."
Talin ignored his remark for the time being. She was convinced that it could not have been a coincidence that Gale had this vision of a crest with the same design as the pin they found concealed in Cazador's estate, and now Master Edwin had confirmed that it belonged to the house Ancunín. She would deal with him later, but now she wanted to hear every bit of information the heraldry expert had to offer.
"Can you tell us more about this house, Mister Edwin?" she asked calmly.
"Certainly," Edwin continued. "Many decades ago, they made their home in Baldur's Gate. This family is known for producing powerful battlemages and is well-known for their skill on the battlefield and tactical application of magic."
Talin's mouth opened slightly, confused by the information provided by Edwin. "Battlemages?" she asked.
Astarion's head spun as he tried to collect his thoughts, but nothing the heraldry master said made sense to him. None of it sounded or felt familiar. His mind felt utterly blank, devoid of any memory of his former home.
"But I've never heard of this House in Baldur's Gate," Talin said, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"That's understandable, considering your age, my child," Master Edwin replied. "Your family, the Elarans, have been settled in Baldur's Gate for around 160 years, correct?"
Talin nodded.
"The Ancuníns, however, left Baldur's Gate around 200 years ago."
"They left? Do you know where they went?" Talin asked.
"From what I've gathered, they returned to the Silver Marches. Originally, they resided in Silverymoon."
"Are they still alive?" Astarion asked with a slight urgency, and Talin was also eager to hear the response, looking at the older man expectantly.
Master Edwin had no definitive answer, so the best he could do was speculate on the matter. "The house is elven, and there is no such record that it ceased to exist, so I would say yes, although not with utmost certainty." There was a brief moment of silence before the elderly man spoke again. "I trust the knowledge I shared on this subject was helpful. I must bid you farewell now as I have pressing matters to attend to. Unless, of course, there's more you'd like to ask?" His gaze flitted from Talin to Astarion.
But the information was more than enough. They found out about the origin of the house and knew where to find them. All they had to do now was plan their next steps. She thanked the man for his invaluable service and escorted him to the grand hall, where she called out the servant. "Elara will tend to the matter of your payment," she told Edwin once Elara appeared from the nearest corridor. "Elara, please take this man to the Chamberlain and make sure that he is properly compensated for his invaluable service."
"At once, my lady. This way." Elara gestured towards one of the passages and escorted the gentlemen to the Chamberlain.
As Talin stood in the hall, she could not conceal the smile spreading across her face. Finally, they had answers, and while unexpected, they were most welcome. Astarion can finally embrace a life of his own—a noble life. Yet, when she returned to the study, she found him deep in thought. When he looked at her as she addressed him, she saw a storm of emotions in his eyes.
"This must be a lot to take in," she said as she approached him. "But these are wonderful news, Astarion, aren't they? It may not be what you expected, but it's your chance for a new beginning."
"I... I don't even know what to think. It feels strange... to think I might have had a different life. I could have a different life."
"It's quite alright," she reassured him. Take your time. We'll figure out how to deal with this when you're ready."
"Oh, I'm not taking my time on this. It's too nerve-wracking. We need to go there, Talin. We need to go to Silverymoon as soon as possible. And let's use the conventional means of travel this time. I'm not too fond of magic portals."
"Alright, no portals," she chuckled. "We can get to Waterdeep and take the Long Road from there." After a brief pause, a wide smile spread across her face. "I'll start preparing at once. But first, I need to inform my father." The thought of a new adventure was thrilling for both of them.
The evening before their departure was quiet and mostly uneventful. And for one, they both were grateful for that.
Astarion sat near the fireplace, surrounded by several candles, immersed in his book, while Scratch lay curled up at his feet. The crackling of the fire and the soft rustle of paper as he carefully turned the pages were the only sounds filling the silence of the night. Talin sat before the elegant vanity desk, delicately removing each piece of her jewelry as she prepared to end the day. She undid her braids and shook her silvery hair, letting it fall loosely below her waist. Afterward, she shed her clothes without even bothering with the changing screen and slipped into her soft, silken nightgown, the glow of her bare, silvery skin stealing a quick glance from Astarion before he returned his attention to the passage he was reading. Once she was ready, she turned to him and approached him gently.
"Astarion," she said softly. Scratch perked his ears slightly at the sound of her voice.
"Yes, love?" He responded without lifting his head, still engrossed in his book.
"Have you thought about how we are going to approach this? Do you have a plan?" she asked.
With a gentle sigh, he raised his head and glanced at Talin. "Yes. Ever since we started this, I've been thinking about it quite a lot," he said, closing the volume with a soft thud. "But I don't actually have a plan. I don't know what to expect."
"You must be quite overwhelmed." With a few light steps, she came toward him and settled comfortably into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. He welcomed her, his hand encircling her waist and landing lightly on her hip.
"You know this needs to be handled delicately, so I've been thinking," Talin began, broaching the delicate subject while gently stroking his chest.
Astarion chuckled a bit because he'd anticipated her saying precisely that, which pleased him. "And what were you thinking of, darling?" he said, indulging her further.
"Well, I was thinking that once we find your family house, it might be better if I handle the talking, at least until we get their attention," she continued. "I wish I could tell you what to expect, but… I can't. So we need to be prepared for anything."
Astarion tilted his head to the opposite side to look at her while listening to her every word attentively. He paused a little, contemplating her words. "You know, that would be better indeed. Honestly, it would be very helpful. I don't even know what to say to them. It feels so strange. If only I could remember a tiny bit of that part." His thoughts wandered off for a split second before Talin spoke again and snapped him back to the present.
"There's also one other thing I wanted to mention," she said. "We also don't know who else can recognize you there, so perhaps you should wear armor with a mask to cover your face." She looked at him, her pulse quickening a bit in anticipation of his response. His calm demeanor made her a little uneasy, but she kept her voice steady and calm. She was only trying to help him, but the matter was delicate, so she knew she had to tread carefully, especially now, because the slightest inconvenience could set him off. Her gaze skimmed across his face, searching for any sign of tension.
He sighed and looked at her, his expression saddening. "Honestly, I'm terrified and excited at the same time, Talin. You say I should conceal my face, but I don't even know if they would remember me after all these years. Will they even believe me? What if they reject me? Or worse, try to kill me because of what I've become." His pain-filled eyes scanned her face, silently seeking reassurance that none of those things would come to pass. Hoping that her next words would ease the uncertainty and the pain.
"A parent does not forget their child, Astarion. They will recognize their son. And whatever happens, I'll be there." She snuggled closer, nestling her head in the crook of his shoulder.
"And I'm grateful for that," he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and leaning in close to her. He noticed that the faint, soothing scent of lavender still lingered on her skin and hair. He breathed it in discretely, savoring the soothing fragrance that brought him a sense of calmness.
"Well, look at you, fitting perfectly in my lap like a little kitten. All you have to do now is start purring," he teased, trying to ease the tension in the air with his impish attitude.
She chuckled lightly. "Maybe I will. After all, I've found my perfect spot."
"Can't say I'm complaining."
As Cazador's spawn, he never imagined having someone to hold in his arms like he held her. He never again dared to care for another soul after that dreadful year when Cazador sealed him in a tomb until fate or rather the mind flayers brought them together. Holding her was like holding onto life itself. And no one can snatch that away from him now.
Talin fell quiet for a while, and the soft smile on her face seemed to fade away. "Astarion, do you think I'm irresponsible?" she asked suddenly, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye. Her voice was soft and calm, yet the question felt somewhat unexpected.
Astarion knew that almost nothing could shake Talin's confidence, so he couldn't help but feel that something was troubling her, especially by the way she was looking at him at that moment, as if she feared that he would only confirm her doubts. He was fully aware of this little flaw of hers, but seeing the sincere, worried look on her face, he could not bring himself to tell her the truth. Yet another thing he never imagined doing, caring about someone else's feelings and needs rather than his own. Besides, her being a bit chaotic at times didn't bother him much. She was also tenacious when she was deeply committed to a purpose and loyal to the bone when she cared for someone. And he knew that better than anyone.
"Of course, I don't think that," he responded quickly.
"I know you're only trying to spare my feelings. But you're the one that said I can't do anything right. That someone always has to clean up the mess I leave behind."
He realized she was referring to the heated argument at Gale's house—when he wasn't at his best and had spoken more harshly than intended. "Look, Talin. You had a carefree life. You were pampered and coddled. Understandably, you would sometimes act that way. But that's not all you are. You've shown more care and determination than anyone. Honestly, I want you to be careless again. I want you to have such a life with me. Instead, I made a deal with the devil, dragged you into a vampire lord's lair, and now this," he concluded, hinting at the journey ahead.
"But I'm glad we did all that. And I enjoyed killing Cazador. He was a monster."
"You're right. That was very satisfying. And impressive, considering he was nearly twice your size," he admitted, smirking lightly. The memory of slaying Cazador still brought him a thrill of satisfaction.
Then she paused, her expression turning thoughtful for a moment. "I wonder if we can kill other vampire lords. If I recall correctly, there was a letter from Cazador addressed to a vampire lord in Athkatla." A thrilling excitement brewed in her chest at the thought of another perilous adventure and slaying evil creatures. "How many spawns do you think he has? Are we going to have to kill them as well or release them? Hmm…"
"Easy there, slayer," he interjected with a touch of sarcasm. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves and focus on the matter at hand first. Besides, I'm not too eager to face another vampiric lord if I don't have to."
She blinked rapidly and looked at him as if she was suddenly snapping back to reality. Then her eyes focused on him, and a soft smile spread across her face, replacing the distracted look from before. "Of course. A girl can only hope." She sighed dreamily. "Well, I'm ready for bed. Care to join me?"
"I won't say no to that," he purred.
Yet again, the sleep was restless that night. There was only ominous darkness and a voice—a malevolent one.
"Did you think you would get your old life back and find your family? I am your family!" The voice bellowed. "Did you truly believe you could turn your back on me? And you were disobedient, boy. You didn't bring her to me."
The voice turned into an endless malicious chuckle, and then Astarion jerked awake. "Fuck," he uttered silently, burying his face in his hands. "Get out of my head!" He turned to Talin, hoping to find little solace, but found her sleeping peacefully beside him, facing away.
At that moment, his mind began wandering. He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had he not been snatched away by the mind flyers. Who would have slept next to her now while he shared a bed with a complete stranger—another of Cazador's victims? The mere thought made him sick, so he pushed it aside. It didn't matter now. She was here. He was free. He snuggled beside her, careful not to wake her, pressing his chest against her back, drawing warmth and comfort from her presence. "You will not win, Cazador," he vowed silently.