Chapter 2: Attack of the Clones!

LOCATION: TEST CHAMBER 1. TIME: 12:10AM

CLUMP! CLUMP! CLUMP! CLUMP! CLUMP!

The clones marched forward in what seemed to be some sort of weird army formation. It seemed as though they had varying degrees of "zombiness." Several of them were highly alert and were marching forward perfectly, but several other clones were drooling and plodding forward, low on energy. Despite this though, they all seemed to have one common goal in mind. "SELL PROPANE… SELL PROPANE… SEEEEEEELLLLLLL PROOOOOPAAAAAAAANNNNNE!" they moaned. It was quite surreal seeing 100 clones of Hank Hill become zombified, then plot to kill people.

Onpu's heart raced as she stepped into the expansive chamber. The sight in front of her took her breath away- Perhaps a hundred Hank Hill clones stood in various poses, each brandishing a machine gun, their eyes devoid of humanity, the eerie sheen of the ghastly Essence coarsing through them.

"Remember, Onpu," crackled the voice from the telephone, cutting through the tension like a knife. "They're just zombies out to kill you. Your goal is to kill all 100 of them. Stay focused. Don't let your… moral qualms get in the way."

Onpu swallowed hard, feeling a surge of bile rise in her throat at the thought. "Moral qualms?" she asked herself, feeling bewildered. "How am I supposed to kill something that might once have been a living being, family, or even a friend?"

With her pulse sounding in her ears, she raised the ray-gun, its weight oddly comforting in her small hands. She hesitated, the gravity of the situation weighing heavily on her tiny shoulders. "Kill, kill, kill…" she murmured, the mantra providing a strange solace in the tension. This wasn't just about survival anymore, it was about reclaiming her identity.

So alas, she had to do the deed, massacre the 100-clone army, an army that focused on both killing people and selling propane and propane accessories. So she pulled the trigger on the ray-gun and began firing. The clones responded with firing back from their rifles, turning the test chamber into another proverbial warzone, a repeat of yet-to-be-found history. Splatting ensued, with loads of clone body parts and Essence flying everywhere. Death beam after death beam after death beam from Onpu's ray-gun, clones were killed, and more Essence dripped from the ceiling.

But sooner or later, it was apparent that the clones had quite a simple strategy which they kept repeating. Move forwards and shoot. It wasn't a very good strategy, as it left them open to attack, and they had no defense or dodging skills. But most crucial of all, they would always get distracted and stop firing whenever they saw anything related to propane or its associated accessories. That's when Onpu got an idea. Sprinting as fast as her little feet could, she darted past the clones and clambered up a set of stairs, reaching a high platform in the process. Using a bit of magic from the ray-gun to conjure up some propane tanks, she proceeded to drop the tanks on top of the clones' heads, exploding and killing them instantly. While the clones were distracted, she eventually lowered down a screen and pressed a button, making the screen flicker to life. It showed a black-and-white video of a family in a suburban home using a propane tank to get clean water, grill food, and provide central heating.

"With clean and reliable propane," the screen blared. "You can heat your home, cook your meals, heat your water, and dry your clothes. And it's more clean burning than charcoal or butane, meaning it won't release as much pollution into the atmosphere. Your propane dealer has modern propane appliances for cleaner, more modern, comfortable, efficient living."

The clones were instantly entranced. "PRRROOOPAAANNNEEE… PRRROOOPAAANNNEEE…" they droned.

"For complete details on how propane can make your housework lighter, and your home brighter, call Strickland Propane today, they're in the Yellow Pages."

While the clones were zoned out, Onpu managed to blast every single one of them to pieces, using the yellow setting on her ray-gun, which unleashed a wave of fire on the entire 100-clone army. But she was still not finished, for a glowing golden sphere lurked behind another closed door, which slowly opened. Stepping forward, Onpu grasped the golden sphere curiously, with wonder in her eyes. A laser shot from the golden sphere and seemed to scan her head weirdly. Suddenly, she remembered a memory! It was very hazy though, but she felt like she just accomplished something! She remembered awakening from some kind of coma, while three girls stood beside her. "Onpu? Onpu?" the familiar voices asked her. "Are you okay? You fell into some kind of magical coma!" The audio and visuals jumped around inside her head, like an old TV signal, but to Onpu, a part of the puzzle was complete.

"Well done, Number 35,000." the phone crackled. "Gotta say, for such a young kid, you are a killing machine. Uh, don't worry, this ain't gonna be entirely about killing, but elements of it will remain. Oh, those golden orbs that beam your memories back? Those are called Golden Retrievers, they are earned every time you complete a test, and they contain thousands of memories, from our previous test subjects, in their databases. However, the next test will challenge your knowledge and memory, so be prepared."

Knowledge and memory huh? That ought to be easy.

TO BE CONTINUED.