A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.
Chapter 2: A Couple of Beers
"My candlelight supper tomorrow night is going to be a triumph, Elizabeth," Hyacinth Bucket told Elizabeth a few minutes later in her kitchen. "An absolute triumph. I just know it."
"I have no doubt that it will be unforgettable, Hyacinth, just as all your candlelight suppers are," said Elizabeth as Hyacinth poured herself a cup of coffee, and then she set the coffee pot back in its place on the kitchen counter.
"Oh yes, it most certainly will be," Hyacinth agreed as she brought her cup of coffee over to the kitchen table and sat down across from Elizabeth. "For the past several weeks," Hyacinth continued, "Sonia Barker-Finch has been bragging about having Baron Jacoby attend that dinner party she had. Little did she know that he's a very good friend of our close friend, C.P. Benedict, the garden center king. As you know, I got in touch with C.P. two weeks ago, and he got Baron Jacoby to agree to come to my candlelight supper tomorrow evening. It's a good thing C.P. is on such good terms with my sister Rose. Otherwise, he might not have been so helpful. Oh, I don't think I've ever been more excited about a future social encounter in all my life! Everything must be absolutely perfect tomorrow evening, Elizabeth. There mustn't be any mistakes. There mustn't be the slightest lapse. I'll need you to come over later on this afternoon to help me finish planning the menu. Everything, absolutely everything from the appetizers to the main course to the desserts to the beverages, must be completely and utterly perfect."
"I'd love to help, Hyacinth, but I have to go to town this afternoon. I have some errands I need to take care of."
"Oh, you can take care of your errands later, dear. No errand can be more important than helping me make tomorrow's candlelight supper perfect for the Baron and his lady friend."
"Of course not," said Liz with a slight sigh of dissatisfaction, which Hyacinth was naturally deaf to.
"Oh, this is going to be my greatest social achievement yet, Elizabeth! I know it! I just know it! I can feel it in my bones! I can just feel the excitement, the joyful anticipation of knowing that I am on the verge of my greatest social triumph yet! I can't wait to brag to Sonia Barker-Finch about having the Baron over for one of my candlelight suppers. After listening to all her endless bragging for so long, it'll be so very great to finally be able to put her in her place."
"I imagine it will be," said Elizabeth, and in the next moment, the telephone rang, which startled her and caused her to knock her beaker of coffee over, and then off the table completely, shattering it into pieces. Mortified, she looked towards Hyacinth and told her, "I'm terribly sorry, Hyacinth!"
"Don't worry, dear. Don't worry. It's nothing. Nothing at all. They're not all that expensive," said Hyacinth, but Elizabeth could easily hear the irritation in her voice.
"I'll clean it up, Hyacinth."
"Thank you, dear. Yes, you clean up this mess and the stain you left on my very expensive Burmese rug, and I'll go answer the telephone," Hyacinth told her right before she walked out of the kitchen. And while Elizabeth was cleaning up, Hyacinth went out to her telephone, picked it up, and said, "The Bouquet residence. Lady of the house speaking."
Pause.
"Ah, hello, Violet!" Hyacinth said happily, and then she shouted to Elizabeth, "It's my sister, Violet! You know. The one with the Mercedes, swimming pool, and room for a pony!"
"Yes, I remember!" Elizabeth said aloud from the kitchen.
"So how was your little trip to the country, dear? Did you and Bruce enjoy your stay in your beautiful country cottage?"
Pause.
"Bunty? Oh yes, of course, I remember your neighbor, Bunty. The eccentric but very well-connected lady who lives in the manor house near your cottage. We had a delightful time together the last time Richard and I stayed there."
Pause.
"You caught them together doing what after Bruce got her drunk?!" asked an appalled Hyacinth as her eyebrows began flying all over the place. "Excuse me for just a moment, won't you, Violet, dear?" she asked, and then after setting the phone down, Hyacinth rushed back into the kitchen, where Elizabeth was mopping up all the coffee she'd spilt on Hyacinth's kitchen table with a wet white rag.
"What a shame, Elizabeth, that you have to run right this minute," said Hyacinth as Elizabeth continued mopping up the spilled coffee on the kitchen table.
"I don't have to run right this instant, Hyacinth. And besides, I'm not finished cleaning up all the coffee I spilled. And I still need to get some carpet cleaner and wash the rug."
"Do you? How interesting. It's a shame you can't stay longer," said Hyacinth as she began practically shoving poor Elizabeth out the back kitchen door, "but like the old saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Come back later this afternoon at three o'clock, and you and I will begin going through all my cookbooks and we'll finish planning out the menu for tomorrow night." And with that, Hyacinth shoved Elizabeth out the back door and quickly closed it behind her, and then she got back to her sister Violet on the telephone.
"I cannot believe everyone neglected to tell me that there's a potluck supper being held in the church hall tonight," Hyacinth complained to her husband Richard as he followed her into the church hall, carrying a big chocolate cake she'd managed to prepare for the event on short notice. But in the next moment, Hyacinth stopped dead in her tracks inside the foyer, with Richard close behind, and she turned to him and said, "Then again, Richard, I'm sure it's common knowledge that Baron Jacoby and his lady friend will be attending my very big and very special candlelight supper tomorrow night. Everyone probably decided to keep tonight's potluck supper from me so I wouldn't feel pressured into making a dish at the last minute on top of all my enormous social obligations I will be seeing to tomorrow."
"Yes, Hyacinth, I'm sure that must be it," Richard told her, lying through his teeth. Like everyone else in town, Hyacinth Bucket's poor, hen-pecked husband Richard was painfully aware of just how challenging it was to put up with his insufferable wife, and he knew quite well that the real reason nobody had told her about the potluck supper in the church hall tonight was because nobody wanted her to come, not even the vicar, Michael Partridge, and his wife Rachel.
"It's a good thing we took that shortcut here. Otherwise, we'd still be stuck out in traffic because of that horrible car wreck," said Hyacinth.
"It looked pretty bad. I just hope and pray that whoever was involved in it is alright," said Richard.
"So do I," Hyacinth agreed. "But enough of this unpleasant talk. Tonight, we are going to attend our church's potluck supper, and tomorrow night will be the night of my greatest candlelight supper ever. And that is all that I want us to be focusing on right now."
"Yes, dear," said Richard with an obedient nod, and then he and Hyacinth walked into the church hall together.
And sure enough, as soon as Hyacinth and Richard entered the church hall, everyone there may have put on very fake smiles, but on the inside, they all silently groaned, and no one more so than Emmet.
Meanwhile, Hyacinth's slovenly sisters, Daisy and Rose, and Daisy's big slob of a husband, Onslow, were out in Onslow's deathtrap of a vehicle, heading for the church hall, searching for the sisters' senile father, who had run off yet again. His latest crush was a churchgoing widow who was frequently at the church hall, Mrs. Jamison, and Daisy, Onslow, and Rose had all found out about the potluck supper being held in the church hall that evening, and they wanted to be sure to get their father out of the church hall before he did something embarrassing that Hyacinth might hear about – as usual.
But on their way to the church hall, to their horror, they found that traffic had been blocked off because of a very bad car accident that had taken place just a few minutes prior. Both Daisy and Onslow wanted to find out more about what was happening, so Onslow put his car in park, and he and Daisy got out and started walking closer to the scene of the car crash while Rose stayed behind in the car.
As they got closer to the scene, they saw the remains of what had once been a white Austin Metro, now completely and utterly crushed, and they both began getting a very sick feeling in the pits of their stomachs.
"Dais, isn't that Elizabeth's car?" asked Onslow with dread.
"Oh God, I think it is," Daisy replied while just barely holding back a sob.
"Relax, Dais. Don't jump to conclusions. Lots of people own white Austin Metros. It's probably not Elizabeth's car."
"It's disgusting," said another driver standing just outside his parked red car nearby. He was a man about Onslow's size in his early forties with blonde hair and blue eyes. "Some idiot teenage kid got behind the wheel of his mother's van after having a couple of beers. Crossed the center line. Struck this poor lady in a much smaller car, hit her head-on. Poor lady didn't stand a chance."
"What do you mean she didn't stand a chance?" Onslow inquired as his and Daisy's heart rates rose to about three hundred. "Are you saying she's dead?"
"I don't know for sure, but it doesn't look good. The crash was so severe, it tore her arm right off. I hear the paramedics have got it on ice now in the hopes that they can reattach it. That is, if she even survives, which I don't think she will. Last I heard, the paramedics are doing CPR, trying to restart her heart," the man answered. He then shook his head sadly and said, "It looks pretty bad. She's probably not going to make it. An innocent life lost, and all because of a couple of beers. Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable."
Onslow and Daisy kept walking closer and closer to the crash scene, and to their horror, they saw for themselves that it was indeed Elizabeth that the paramedics were performing CPR on. And that the man was right about the arm. Elizabeth's left arm had been cut off at the shoulder. While Onslow fought to keep from vomiting at the sight of it, Daisy just buried her head in Onslow's chest and sobbed.
"Has anyone found out anything about her next of kin yet?" asked a short, black, slim female cop.
"They're still looking through her purse that they found near the car," answered a much taller, muscular black male cop. "Everything inside it's been scattered all over the place."
"We know her," said Daisy then through her tears. "She's my sister's friend. And her next-door neighbor. Her name is Elizabeth Warden."
"Does she have any family?" asked the female cop.
"Yeah, she's got a husband. He works and lives abroad, in Saudi Arabia," Onslow replied. "And she's got a daughter away at college."
"She also lives with her brother, Emmet Hawksworth," Daisy supplied. "He runs the Amateur Operatic Society here in town."
"Was Emmet in the car with her?" asked Onslow.
The female cop shook her head and answered, "No. She was all alone in the car. Do you have any idea where Mr. Hawksworth might be?"
"When he's not at home, he's often doing rehearsals in the church hall," said Daisy. "They're having a potluck supper in the church hall now. He probably stayed behind in the church hall after his rehearsals were over for the potluck supper this evening."
In that moment, a tall, slender, redheaded female cop came over to them and said, "The helicopter's on its way to take the patient to Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham. We need to start clearing the road."
"But we still need to get in touch with the brother and inform him of what's happened," said the black female cop.
"You guys get the road cleared for the helicopter. We'll find Emmet and tell him," said Onslow, and then he and Daisy grabbed each other's hand and began running to the church hall as fast as their legs would carry them.