My name is Alex Smith and ever since I was a child I've been lonely and had a hard time connecting with people.
In a small town where everyone knew everyone else, I felt like a prisoner. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing, and I turned to books for inspiration, immersing myself in worlds where dreams became reality. I loved reading about adventure, about love, about heroes overcoming difficulties. But I didn't know how to do that in my own life.
Every day I would go to a local cafe and sit in the corner with a book. It was my refuge from everyday life. Watching people interact with each other made me envious, it was an uncomfortable feeling that unnecessarily reminded me of my loneliness, but I tried to forget myself in the pages of the book.
Why can't I do the same?' I thought, feeling an unpleasant lump of bitterness in my throat. I longed for something more than work, university and the rest of the routine, hoping that one day my life would take a different turn.
This day was no different from the previous ones: I sat in my usual place, reading a novel and occasionally glancing at the people coming and going.
The small bell above the café door jangled, announcing the arrival of someone. I reflexively looked up from my book to see who it was, and damn it!
Max Davis is a man I love and despise at the same time. I love him because he's handsome, funny, lives life to the full and is always open to people. I despise him because of the rowing envy I feel in my chest every time I see him interacting with people. Although, you know, I'm not a good judge of people's feelings and I don't know how I feel about him.
You could probably write it off as love, and the uncomfortable feeling in my chest as trivial jealousy, but that would be so easy. I've read a lot of literature about romance, but with Max I didn't experience any of the feelings described in the books.
In fact, I met Max at my freshers' initiation when I started university. You have probably already guessed that the dialogue did not begin on my initiative, and it was hard to call it a dialogue. I took him home and gave him my number so he wouldn't be scared when he sobered up. So we started to communicate, but it was hard to call us friends.
And then he's in a cafe with some girl, oh yeah, that's Emily. To be honest, no one knew what kind of relationship she and Max had, some said they were dating, some said they were just friends, they didn't tell anyone about themselves. And no, I didn't care what her relationship with him was, I guess.
As our eyes met, I immediately felt a flush of warmth rise to my cheeks, but as soon as I looked at Emily, my chest rumbled again.
Oh my God, I had a good time,' I thought, trying to calm the storm of incomprehensible emotions that was surging through me at the sight of the couple.
Max just stared at me for a few seconds and then, startled when Emily asked him something, returned to his dialogue with her. I wanted to get back to reading, but I couldn't quite get into my work.
You know, sometimes I felt that we were similar: yes, Max acted like a normal student, but I felt that he was hiding a part of himself.
We were both stuck in our own worlds,' was my theory.
With Max in my life, I began to feel something new and strange to me more often. I have another theory: I think Max is going to change my life.