Thank you for reading! While I have my fingers crossed that FFN will pull through the next few years of unknowns, it never hurts to download 'fics you enjoy. I'm always okay with people downloading my 'fics for personal reading. You can also read all my FOP works on AO3, along with works for other fandoms that I don't cross-post to FFN (and some FOP bonuses that I don't post on FFN, like an early Prompt I scrapped that I'll be posting this Monday). I'm FountainPenguin on both AO3 and Tumblr if you'd like to connect with me there. Merry wellness and peaceful thoughts to all!
(Posted November 8th, 2024)
Godparents For Hire
In which Anti-Cosmo and Wanda visit their Boudacian godkid in the Summer of the Flaming Clouds, and Anti-Cosmo meets a green-haired fairy with an unmentionably horrible job
Well, I thought, prepping easy-to-grab sandwiches to stock the icebox with, this promises to be a semester I'll never forget. The sandwiches had been Mona's idea. Even without tasting them, I could already tell she was brilliant… Not that that was a surprise. I'd be grateful for these things when I was on the go. Especially since I was making all mine without cheese. I'd bought special stickers just for this occasion: blue circles for my wraps and pink ones for Wanda's. I had orange stickers on hand for Mandelro, just in case we ever had to feed him on short notice before a school club or sport or… whatever it was Boudacian kids did after classes released. "What do you think, Lohai? Does he sound more like a boar-lover or a pheasant fan to you?"
Her lantern rested on the counter with me, but the only response I got from her was a sleepy sort of hum. Ah, genies… You can't do a thing with them when the pregnancy's this far along, wot? They really are so very sweet.
One thing had become apparent quite quickly last night: Wanda and I both liked sticking to a schedule if we could get our minds around it. Ha. Jotting down ideas didn't cause me any trouble. That was the easy part. Now, the commitment to hitting my tasks at the right time of day… Well, you never could predict that. It varied by the season, if I must be honest. And it varied by my mood. My daily ritual of pheromone application, the oils smeared across my cheeks, certainly seemed to have taken the edge off my wild ups and downs. I'd picked up two new bottles before our study abroad began. "Let's hope they don't drip in the sandwiches," I muttered, and wrapped the sandwich in a wrinkled mulberry leaf for Wanda. Very filling. If she didn't eat it, I certainly would. I marked it with a sticker and into the pile it went. Last one for the morning. I threw my hands in the air, smirking wide for no one but Lohai to see.
"Haha! And soon, not only shall I master lunch preparation, but I shall conquer premade dinners, too! … I'm thinking mushroom soup. Oh Lohai, you'll be so proud of me… I'm prepping meat for her meals, and I'm not writhing on the floor!"
"Meat sounds nice," Lohai murmured. Her voice echoed through the lantern. Oh, pooh… All my yelling mustn't make for a relaxing naptime environment.
"Sorry, my dear," I whispered, and went about cleaning the counters as quick as I could.
Our schedule for today looked quite simple, really (Smashingly so, I might add). Even now, Wanda was well on her way to Boudacia with our rat cage in hand. Once there, she would set the beginnings of a portal underneath the crawl dish. I'd take up the end of the so-called magic thread she'd left behind, intertwine her spell with my own, and set the receiving end. Here in Carriage Corner, I'd pair the magic with a special closet door set aside explicitly for such a purpose. Now, presuming that I did it right - and as a long-time demon summoner, I had no doubt in my coordination - we ought to score high-class marks that would set us up for weeks to come. By the end of the week, Wanda and I were both due to turn in a write-up about our experience. Simple enough.
Portals came in many shapes and forms. Far too many things could go wrong with such a spell, but I didn't worry. Technically speaking, Wanda had the more difficult job (and a much longer morning). We'd agreed it was best I stay behind given my history of unpredictably unstable magic. Why, I might fly out to Boudacia and land myself unable to contact her, unable to form my half of the portal link, and unable to travel far to get back home. And given that her crown floated higher above her head than mine, I felt quite certain that Wanda had more power to give in the first place. Yes… all the better that she travelled out while I stockpiled sandwiches for the rest of our week.
Could portals really work if a fairy cast one end and an anti-fairy the other? Every twitch and curl of magic in my system churned at the thought. I ran through the steps again. Soon enough, Wanda would launch the spell my way. I simply had to prepare myself to draw it in, then tie it off. Nothing to it. I'd closed gates after my demon summoning plenty of times, not to mention watched Mona spay or neuter a few animals, so locking down the waypoint's local end seemed exactly the right fit.
This, you may have guessed, did leave me twiddling my thumbs for a lengthy time as Wanda skimmed across the universe. So when I'd made all the sandwiches we had bread for, I sought out my faithful friend and study partner. Whyever not? I tapped on her door until she opened it, halfway through re-dyeing her hair from brown to pretty pale yellow. Oh, she looked a dreadful mess with dye dripping down her face, but I knew in that moment she cared nothing for embarrassment. She didn't hide herself. She, in her imperfect beauty, came to speak with me. I shall cut to the underlying point without dressing it in the talk-around-the-subject way my people do:
"Blonda, I need a favour… I do so hate to ask, but I don't see how they'd give the information I'm looking for directly to an Anti-Fairy. Could you perhaps, if it isn't inconvenient, track down a fairy named Lucas Rainwings? He's…" I hesitated, air hissing through my teeth. "He's my nana's fairy partner, but they were separated by the war. Before things become… even remotely sociosexual between you and I, I'd like to talk to him. I'm quite certain he's still alive." My nana had implied as much over migration when she'd told me she keeps away from him on purpose out of mercy for the Rhoswen syndrome raging in his head. Ha. Mercy.
Blonda looked curious, not nearly as annoyed to be given this task as I'd feared. "I didn't know you had relatives in a cross-Court relationship."
"Well, they aren't together anymore, but I'm technically his grandpup. Really, I don't know how I'd go about finding him- Fairy World is huge and I've only seen a small portion of it, not to mention my border pass grants me only limited wandering. I do wish I could meet him, though. Not even my mum ever met my biological grandfather, and my nana always mentions Lucas as her partner before she mentions Anti-Jasper. So terribly sorry to drop this all on you; I didn't think of it any sooner."
"It shouldn't be any trouble," Blonda assured me. "I can check the Fairy Con records. We just had one in spring."
"Perfect. You're a peach, luv."
"Anti-Cosmo?" she asked, reaching for my arm before I could pull away. Her fingertips brushed my jacket sleeve. "You've… Well, you've met the Anti-Blonda and Anti-Wanda, haven't you?"
I paused. I heard this sort of question often from my peers, who seemed to think I could tell them everything about their counterparts or perhaps arrange a meeting just because I happened to belong to "the other race." And often, those peers of mine would keep their distance from me whether I gave them what they wanted or not.
But Blonda had never asked such a thing of me. She had questions about my culture. She'd done much of her own research, using me mostly - with my consent - to check her facts were straight rather than expecting I teach her everything when I too was just a young adult working his way through high school. "Yes," I told her, and it wasn't new information. "Your counterpart calls herself Anti-Wendy. She only speaks Vatajasa, but I'm mostly fluent and we get along well. Anti-Wanda holds a seat on the camarilla court."
Blonda's eyes dripped from mine to the floor, like the yellow dye plipping from her hair. "You told us once that our counterparts had an anti-will o' the wisp for a mother. Is that really true?"
"… Yes. I think it is. Both your counterparts have the smaller, rounded ears we see in anti-wisps. I'm afraid I don't know your family well- It could be coincidence. It doesn't come from your father's line, though."
"Thank you," she said, still looking a bit away from me. "Wanda and I have talked about it. When she comes back from this godkid trial, we're going to ask Daddy. I know you aren't in Anti-Fairy World right now, but if there are any facts or rumours you've heard - or if you know where I could look for more information - I'd appreciate your advice."
A blur of guilt and soggy itches pulled and pushed inside my stomach. Fairy culture had always had such a strange balance of give and take; they could be quite funny about the concepts of debt and thanks. While Blonda had told me once she didn't quite subscribe to the idea of chasing 'fairness,' I had some suspicion she desired my assistance in return for hers. And, well… I couldn't deny that what I was asking her for would take some effort.
What DO I know? "Anti-Wendy and Anti-Wanda were born of the honey-lock. In their childhood, they didn't know their father, for he stayed at the Blue Castle working as First General. Their mother never came to visit. This isn't unusual for Anti-Fairies, I should say- You can hardly blame some of us for being absent parents if we don't know where to find each other. We don't like to uproot our whole lives for the choices made by our counterparts, especially when many of us have no interest in raising pups even if by some chance, two honey-lock partners are compatible. Their mother abandoned the twins in Fairy World. They were brought into the Eros Nest. That's all I really know, I'm afraid… I'm not certain they know their mother's name either. But I can ask your father's counterpart, Anti-Buster. He may know the answer. With their moth wings and somewhat purple fur tones, identifying someone as an anti-wisp is a breeze."
Blonda smiled at me. It was thin, her hands still cradling her messy half-dyed hair. "I'll look into this myself, but you've given me a good start. Thanks for that. I'll dig up what I can about Lucas Rainwings."
"I'd appreciate that very much, my dear. I really can't thank you enough."
With that behind me, I spent the rest of my day waiting for Wanda's portal spell. It came through a few hours later while I tidied the kitchen after cooking chaishoa scones. Aha! Already, my wand spurted blue sparks, rattling on the table as Wanda pressed her magic up to mine. I snatched up my wand, flying to the door that led nowhere at the edge of our room.
"Yes, yes… Steady on!" I threw open the door, pointing the tip of my burning wand at the wall directly behind it. The handle rattled between my claws like the stem of a flower that had decided to fight back. I clenched it tight enough to scald my hand. "Steady…"
KA-BLOOM!
Streaks of blue arced from the wand's tip, crashing full-force against the wall. The force of the spell sent me backwards- Not that this was unusual for me (I never really had grasped the channelling of magic beams). I banged my head on the little table. The wand cartwheeled from my hand, leaking a pool of turquoise energy across the carpet.
"No no no… Come on, Julius. This is what you've trained for." I whipped the wand back into my hand, but didn't hop back to my feet. This time, with wings extended, I braced my knees against the floor. I could stay steadier that way. The force of Wanda's energy rattled through my wand and zinged up my throat. It twisted. It bucked! And it was coming for my core! It all happened so fast, I thought I might hurl.
Steady now… With my teeth clenched, I bent the energy back with my mind, clutching my wand in both hands. I may as well have stood beneath a waterfall and tried to keep the torrent off my back. Energy sloshed around me, yanking my skin and fur. My heels dug against the ground. I took a jagged breath. Come on… Think of your class grade! You have to get this right!
My muscles twitched two directions at once. Loose beads of magic swelled inside my mouth, and when they swelled too high, they poured over in waves of drool. It sizzled down my jaw and hissed with every drop to carpet. With every shaky ounce of strength I possessed, I twisted the magic torrent and forced it back the way it came. Energy slammed against the back wall, but this time - held by mind and wit and pure determination - I kept it vertical. I kept it pinned.
Tie it off. Tie it off.
Could I manage that without letting all that energy crash down again? I trembled where I crouched, my wand in one hand and an open palm in the other as if making that motion would keep the wall of blazing energy any steadier. But with every slight fidget I made to hold the portal, it sought to shake my grip from the reins. Already, it had slimmed past the width of the doorway. Two rivers of energy collapsed on either end, gushing across the floor. In their ripples, I glimpsed bulky factories and chimneys that scraped the sky… and a flash of pink hair. Could Wanda see me too? She clung to her end of the portal from far across the cosmos, gripping on with just as much might as I did here. Every splatter on the floor, every falling bit of drool, flashed pink across my vision.
Oh no! I… I can't shift my focus. I don't have enough magic to… I strained against the gushing force, and like a wild animal, it bit my hands and screamed for escape. Oh, no you don't! I wrangle demons on Friday the 13th. You aren't wriggling free so easily! If I just had more power. Just a pinch of ability! If only I hadn't been born the Cosmo with the smallest magic pool for-
Wait a moment…
The portal wrestled against me, thinning even further. With wolpertinger feet pounding through my brain, I made a snap decision.
Cosmo? While he couldn't read my thoughts, he might sense a pressure if I nudged my swirling thoughts up to his. I'd never done a proper Anti-Fairy mind-meld before, and it didn't promise to be easy. All my energy poured from the trembling core inside me through the open doorway. I couldn't hold position much longer- I only had so much to give, and it was slipping through my fingers. But this could hardly be called meditation, and I couldn't touch Cosmo's thoughts. We may as well have been twirling through a hurricane. Each time I tried to grasp his consciousness, he slipped free like spaghetti off a fork.
Noodles? a voice whispered in my head, suddenly picking up. The winds and rain slowed, but did not dissipate into clouds. Not completely.
"Cosmo, you boob- HELP!" I thrust everything I had towards him like a rubber band or a slap. Perhaps a splurt of honey would have been an accurate comparison, because in that instant, I slammed my full force against his mind. I swept him from where he stood into my shaking arms. Oh, not physically, but you know what I mean.
And with a crack, I was in. Vision blurring. Bodies… blurring…
Everything that was Cosmo - and everything that was me - clung together like magnets doused in glue. I tasted melting cheese and salty chips. For the briefest instant, I felt the pressure of a table beneath my hand, but that was gone a second later as my arm snapped up to mirror Anti-Cosmo's… or that is to say, Cosmo's snapped to meet mine. Oh. What?
I drew in the sight - a melting portal, a burning in my core - and acted instantly. With a crackle of energy, I lashed towards the door like a whip, thrusting it back to the wall like a cowed, uhh… cow, haha!
And it stayed.
Then it was over. And the other side of me - that is, the Fairy-Cosmo - slipped from the mind-meld with a twitch of thought. It warmed my back like flesh rolling across flesh. Like two slices of bread peeled apart by a red-hot knife. I quivered, very quietly, on both my feet with my wand outstretched. The last of oversaturated energy spilled over my teeth to the floor. I huffed. I puffed.
That was Cosmo's magic. He'd…
… He'd just saved my passing grade. He'd saved Wanda from an exhausting journey home, actually. Not to mention my reputation. Like it was nothing at all, as easy as swooping down to catch a sprite. I was still there, puffing and heaving, when a shimmer crossed the portal and Wanda stepped one foot through. Then one arm, then her head. She stretched out her hand, smiling - smiling - like a butterfly licking nectar off a cinnamon bun.
"Well, look at that, would ya? You did it, scout! Come take a look."
"Oh," I heard myself say. Was this still my body? Did this mouth belong to me? "Okay…"
Wanda vanished through the curtain of blue light again. I hitched my trousers, smoothed my hair, and followed behind. The energy glittering through my fur tickled like the bubbles in a flea dip. Wanda had done fine work, I thought. The spell woven into the portal threads left me a bit wobbly-legged, but not motion sick. And by the time I'd stepped through, the foot landing in the rat cage shavings had morphed into a paw. I stood before our plastic dome, Wanda in the form of a pink rat beside me. The sky beyond looked dark; I could make nothing out from here.
"Hmm?" Arching an eyebrow, I shuffled my haunches back into the dome, into the place its interior should be. The portal licked across my fur, shifting me back into anti-fairy form. A split-second later, I found myself back in our high school apartment, gawking before our portal door.
"Ha… Aha ha! It works! It really works!" And I did this? I caught her magic? Cosmo had helped me tie it off, but… Well, let's not forget who caught it in the first place. "Boudacia, here we come!"
I swept through the door once again, twirling my wand. My legs morphed to smoke below the knees, then collapsed into tiny stubs. Goodness me! I toppled forward, popped fully into rat form, and rolled across the floor shavings.
"Ahahahaha! Oh my, now that is fascinating…"
"Are you done?" Wanda asked, one paw on the latch to our cage door. She flipped it open, releasing us into the world. Ha! Or perhaps she released the world to come find us, wot? I moved forward, whiskers twitching, and did my very best not to drop my monocle. There was no helping that; I couldn't see a thing without it, and if changing my form could restore my depth perception, I'd have done that years ago.
When I set down my first paw, a shiver ran through my nerves and down my little spine. Oh! I pulled back to take a breath. Brrrr… Cold. With that, however, I steeled myself and leapt down after Wanda. It's made of metal, I thought, standing very still to soak it in. But then, that was no surprise. Graphite and diamond ran thick on this planet, laced with far too many metals to name. Heat ravaged the planet, sending its communities in search of whatever shade they could find. With my Anti-Fairy biology, I'd likely be taking time-out breaks to retreat to our room.
For the first time, I took a look around at the place Wanda had chosen to set up shop. My first impression of dark had proved correct. The echo of the room around me felt large, but most certainly enclosed. Do I hear rain? Just a drizzle, if even that.
It must be a storage room. But not a cellar. A window loomed behind the table where Wanda had set up our cage. Coloured lights filtered through, dressing both the cold surface and Wanda's fur in rainbow stripes. I padded forward, claws clicking, to stand beside her. My legs wobbled; every step threatened to drop me to my chest, rump stuck in the air.
Dear me, I thought, sitting down on Wanda's left. Perhaps it was the rotation of a planet beneath my feet. Is it supposed to feel like this? I'd never walked a planet before… and Boudacia, I knew, could complete a full revolution around its sun in a matter of hours, not months. The whiplash of its travel might be mere imagination, but I dug my scratchy claws as tight to the table as I could. Well… At least if I had to hurtle through space with someone, I had Wanda at my side.
"I've never left the cloudlands," I murmured, and Wanda shifted her tail so it lay across mine.
"Neither have I. Just for Spellementary, but that was so long ago."
"Yes, I suppose it was… Look at us. We're all grown up." Adult wings nestled at our backs, a decent lift to our crowns, and healthy core-syncs connecting us to our counterparts far across the skies. No matter how far we went, that link would forever be there. I turned to look at Wanda then, sizing her up in the rainbow glow across her pointed nose as she twitched up her ears and sniffed the air. Could Anti-Wanda sense Wanda Prime's excitement from wherever she was? Or her fear?
Anti-Wanda had told me over winter migration that Fairy-Wanda burned rapidly through her magic stores. Sometimes, she linked their minds on purpose, just to feel her counterpart breathing… just to know that she was out there. She turned her magic over willingly, to the one in their union who used it most. Anti-Wanda hadn't been raised around magic. In the Eros Nest, she adopted the more traditional background of our people… if in a restrained way. Our kind had never rejected magic, but there's no denying it's the Fairies' gift first. They're the hosting counterparts. Our ancestors only took a share when they bonded long ago. And nowadays, we just drink the dregs.
If Anti-Wanda can afford to give much of her magic back to Wanda, she must be wielding quite the package. You can probably feel sparks leaping off her lips. I wonder what she'd taste like… I'd only ever been sociosexual. It wasn't especially appropriate, vla and vlakrina as we were. There was nothing she had to explain nor apologise for. Not with my loyalty sitting in her hand. Did I really go to roost with her last year? For what purpose? Why, she'd correctly guessed my feelings for Anti-Lance; I had no right to speak vitriol against it.
And she'd been right about Anti-Kanin. About… how the things we'd done together, with our touching and kisses, had slipped between us before I even had my adult wings. It hadn't bothered me at the time the way those thoughts fingerprinted me now. Why would it? He was my boyfriend, after all, and my senior crechemate- about my brother's age. I'd known him all my life. I could still taste the sensation of his tongue licking behind my teeth, our acid flowing together…
"Was it my cousin, Anti-Kanin?" Anti-Wanda had asked me when I'd tried to explain. I hadn't said his name, announcing only that I'd be grateful for apology, yet she'd caught some quiver in my hackles and read me like a scroll. "Did he touch you when you were still real young?" Gods, I couldn't hide a thing from that damn woman. I swear, someday she'll suspect I'd like to get to know her better - outside our vla/vlakina arrangement - and I shall live in shame from that moment on. Why in smoke had she gotten back together with Anti-Juandissimo? It's like she'd entirely forgotten he'd fled to parts unknown the moment the Eros Nest let him out. He didn't even live at the Blue Castle! She only saw him over migration! Bloody smoke, she deserved so much better than that…
"Anti-Cosmo," Wanda said, very quietly. When I blinked, refocusing my thoughts, there we were with whiskers almost intertwined. "Is something wrong?"
Oh. I'd drifted off, lost in comparisons and dredging up fantasies I'd never speak. Quite frankly, Anti-Wanda had enough hardships to carry right now without me sticking my nose in the way. If I were adjusting to life separated from my sister, managing paperwork, my father refusing to recognize his parent status for the sake of avoiding political upheaval, all while juggling an absent boyfriend and still learning a new language (and magic itself)…
… I'd want a friend. I couldn't imagine courting Blonda effectively while balancing school and Mona, but I did enjoy her company as a friend. I had a duty to Anti-Wanda, you know. I still found myself in vla.
"No," I murmured. "Nothing's wrong, my dear. You just have Anti-Wanda's eyes."
They glowed with the light of magic and spirit, yet shimmered rainbow as they reflected the world beyond the window. She did not scold me for my use of 'dear,' as she had for 'darling,' though I suspected by the flip of one ear, she didn't like it. "Do you know her well?" she asked anyway.
"Oh, not specifically. I've tutored her for two migrations."
"Hm. It must be very interesting to rub shoulders with the camarilla court." (She pronounced it wrong, though the attempt was there.)
"I'm honoured Anti-Wanda chose me to teach her. She's very studious; very clever." I thought of how she'd grabbed my collar back at the Castle greenhouse, shaking me back and forth until I couldn't recall which way was up. A twitchy smile curled one corner of my lips. "She's the most passionate dame I've ever known."
"… Ah," Wanda said. I turned forward again. The oxygen ran thick on this planet… Not from forests, but from the algae in its hot lakes. It billowed through the air, thick enough for the locals to grow to expansive size. I flexed my whiskers, breathing in… I could taste rust on the wind even indoors. "Anti-Cosmo," she whispered, setting her paws against the frosty window. "Look…"
I stood to join her, pressing my nose to the glittery pane. Against my expectations, we actually sat on a high floor of a very tall building. Taller than the Blue Castle. Taller than any building I'd ever set foot in before. I drew back, then peered outside again. Far below our darkened room, Boudacians filled the streets with chatter and life. Soft words, large gestures with the arms.
There must have been hundreds of them, pulsing in their glowing colours… They moved back and forth like river ripples, carrying their packets and things. Some skimmed past Wanda and I on small wings not unlike a will o' the wisp's. Elder individuals walked instead of gliding. I spied young ones in their larval stages clinging to their guardian's hand. The building we rested in swayed as though in heavy wind.
And we'd arrived in a drizzle, just as I'd predicted. The drops were few and far between, but they dribbled down the window, blurring the rainbows even more. It brought back memories of crystals sticking from the ground, their shiny forms standing tall in a crater carved generations back by a fallen moon.
"Home…"
Wanda shifted her eyes to me. I could see them in the hazy glass, reflected back like bits of candy. "I've seen pictures of Luna's Landing. Do other Anti-Fairy towns glow like this?"
We didn't have as many towns on our side of the border as the Fairies did on theirs. They like things separated and structured, Fairies… It must be all their pheromones reeking in the air. We took the wood and stone of our land sparingly, out of respect for Hy-Brasil and what little he could provide us when cut from proper sunlight. Yes, we did have structures. We had colony houses, castles, and shelters comprised mostly of metal. We often used the land around us - its caves and such - before building any more.
But we did have towns. Cities, even. "Silverclaw is beautiful every time I've seen it. It's built around a lake, dressed in white lights, and the way they reflect off the water is enough to bring tears to your eye… We don't get much rain either."
"Let's eat," Wanda said, pulling back from the window. "Then we'll find Mandelro."
"Sounds lovely," I replied, so we retreated through the portal and did exactly that. Wanda took a steam-filled shower, so I opted to do the same. After we towelled off, I brought out the sandwiches. And for the first time since we'd been partnered up… I think I saw Wanda truly let down her tense-shouldered guard.
"Mandelro was in his room, upstairs. Families share multi-level spaces with each offspring having their own floor. He's on break from school right now."
Yes, I know, I thought. "Well, he shouldn't be hard to find, then. Smashing! I did wonder. At least the hard part is behind us, wot?"
Wanda laughed, tearing her sandwich in two pieces. "Oh, the hard part's just begun!"
I didn't take her at her word. Mandelro was 14, after all, and we'd looked through the comparative milestones to our respective peoples. I'd grown up in the Blue Castle; in my culture, sorting out arguments came second nature. And back when I lived as Ilisa, I'd raised 9 kids. How tough could it be?
The moment Wanda poofed us both to Mandelro's room - and I'd held back a coughing fit - I knew I'd have some trouble here. The weather outside may be delightfully dreary, but the bedroom was another story. I imagine each Boudacian had their own preferences when it came to keeping warm and hydrated, but the sudden spike in humidity nearly made me gag. Oh, smoke- Why couldn't I have studied Snobulacs? At least some of them live in the cold!
While my magic was built for surviving the chill of Anti-Fairy World, my body did have the scales and hair to cool off in dry heat. Wanda had landed us behind some form of barrier, like a standing curtain that didn't touch the ceiling. I knelt down to catch my breath. My eyes fought with every blink. I tightened my fingers in the soft substrate on the floor.
I need more magic. I bundled my own share around me like a drench of cool water, but that would drain my energy to nothing rather quick. For the second time today, I reached a groping hand towards Fairy-Cosmo. I had the smallest share of our magic pool- I won't deny that, and neither will my low-floating crown. Throughout my life, Cosmo had often sensed my depleted stores and reached out with his own, but I'd always turned him back, unwilling to draw from him when it was his breath which kept me alive. He might need to defend himself, and where would I be then?
But I'd earned my chance to tug, hadn't I? I strained for Cosmo again, this time gripping with mental fists. All the magic I could reach, I tugged to my side of the bond. He twisted towards me, perking up in some surprise. I didn't hold back. I yanked, pulling hand over hand like I'd never get a chance again.
I have to have this- I can't let myself overheat.
Wanda landed in the substrate too, keeping her wings still and silent at her back. When I looked her way, trying not to be sick all over the ground, she held one finger to her lips. Ah… Mandelro must be on the other side of the divider wall.
Can I do this? I can't do this. I should go back. Too fast, too warm, too wet-
"Are you all right?" Wanda whispered, taking my shoulder in her hand.
"I'm… I'm fine, I think. Just a wee bit nauseous. I can push through." I brushed back my hair, leaning my eye to a crack in the divider wall. Aha… There he is.
I'd seen pictures of our assigned godchild, each one plucked from the timestream in full colour, but none of those held a candle to the brilliant pink-white sheen of his exoskeleton beneath the glow of rainbow lights outside. Two large bulbs hung directly over his window. He lay resting on his sleeping rock with something in his arms that I couldn't make out from here. Two small wings fanned out from his lower back… white, but blotted with pinkish brown. Thick black hair coated his back, but he had it under far better control than Mona did. The neat plait fell over one shoulder and wrapped around his arm.
I pulled back my eye, looking to Wanda for a signal. She laid the backs of her fingers to my head. I twitched my ears, grimacing in silence, before she gave a nod. I returned it.
With that, she raised her wand. In another rush of fairy dust, we poofed from behind the wall and out in front of Mandelro. In the air this time. I beat my wings, shaking dust from my nostrils, and steadied out as best I could. Below me, the boy - who'd been curled on top of his rock - gawked at Wanda and I with his antennae on high alert.
"Who… what-?"
Let's do this in style. I twirled my wand between my fingers. "Good evening, my young friend! It is Mandelro, isn't it? It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance tonight, and the honour's all mine. I'm Anti-Cosmo-"
"-and I'm Wanda," she chimed in, butting her shoulder against my own. Mandelro froze, fingers tight on the rocky ridges, as she and I lifted our wands in sync.
"And we're… your Fairy godparents!"
Silence flooded the bedroom, interrupted only by the whirr of mist spritzing automatically from some device on the floor. Mandelro's antennae twitched in our direction. He pulled his legs into a crouch. Predator, I thought, floating back. Would he pounce? His wings flitted behind him, no more committed to this conversation than his puzzled stare. He had the brightest yellow eyes I'd ever seen… not to mention the largest pupils. He flicked them from me to Wanda to me again.
"Um. Are you guys gracewalkers? I didn't think you really existed…"
He spoke in his own language, of course, but Wanda and I hadn't passed Secondary Advanced Boudacian Studies without good reason. "We're Fairies," I corrected, gesturing with my wand. "Well, Wanda is… I'm an anti-fairy! We come from a planet far across the universe, filled with all kinds of magical creatures like ourselves. Wanda is excellent at magic disposal, whereas I spread bad luck wherever I go! In that way, we balance each other out, I say. Ooh, isn't it wonderful? I couldn't ask for a better partner."
Mandelro's antennae lifted again, but this time with a curl that looked more curious than frightened. "Oh. Are you a mated pair?"
"No, no," Wanda and I said quickly, waving our arms. And, I suppose seeing no reason to keep him in the dark, Wanda opted to elaborate. "Anti-Cosmo and I are still in training, actually. In fact, you're the first godkid we've ever been assigned to! Godparents like us find children who are struggling in life, and we're here to use our long-lived expertise - and our magic - to turn your whole life around."
"Your magic?"
"That's right," I said, presenting my wand too. "But you can't tell anyone about us-"
"-because otherwise, we'd have to go away forever-"
"-and when that happens, then we actually have to finish the rest of our coursework and enter the world as overstressed and underpaid hardworking adults." I winked. "So… no rush, old chap, hm?"
The butterflies in my stomach hadn't stopped churning. In fact, I took that moment to settle on the edge of Mandelro's rock so I could rest my legs and wings. He studied me with eyes so wide, I could probably stick a fist in them. "You two are really here to help me? With magic?"
"But of course!"
"Have you read many fairy tales?" Wanda asked, landing on the other side. "Maybe you've heard stories of strange creatures nursed back to health by Boudacians long ago, and now we've come to return the favour. There's no wish too small, kiddo. We love stretching our wings, so to speak, so make your first wish a good one. No holding back!"
Mandelro half-smiled, looking at us both. I smiled back. But slowly, the light faded from his eyes. He turned his head away. "Is there a catch to this? Like… does your magic have rules and limits I should know about?"
"Well, there is a rulebook-"
"Then I don't think you're allowed to help with the thing I want. It's in all the stories that you can't. Um… I appreciate it anyway."
I looked at Wanda, eyebrows lifted. She looked to me, then took the lead by placing one hand on Mandelro's knee. He may have been far younger, but he would have dwarfed us both even if we stood on one another's shoulders. "Okay, kiddo. Finding out you've been assigned fairy godparents is big, big news. We'll leave you to digest it for a while, but call us if you need anything. Anything at all." She swished her wand, poofing our rat cage onto a new rock in the corner. Mandelro barely glanced at it. I watched his hands tighten into fists in his lap.
"Take care, old bean," I said, floating towards the cage with Wanda. "You've got all the time in the world to think up a really good first wish."
Wanda poofed into a bright pink rat. Leaping onto the rock, she flipped open the cage door. I tailed behind her. She squeezed beneath our dome and back to our apartment. Before following, I took one last look at Mandelro. He hadn't moved since we'd said good-bye. The hunch of his shoulders, though, told me everything I really needed.
"He won't trust easily," I said to Wanda once we'd shut the door behind us. "Where's his file? It didn't specify what he's after, did it? I imagine they'd document what pushed him into misery."
"I'm not sure… But I suppose this is why they tell us not to get excited and link appendixes within the first few days." Her grimace could have shaken all the glitter from her hair, if her flippant hand didn't do that for her. Sparkles shimmered as she combed fingers through her swirl. "I'm not sure he wants us around at all."
"No, I suppose he doesn't… Good show out there, though. I think it went well. You weren't too pushy."
"And you weren't too chatty. We make a good team."
I smiled. She did too. "Well, I appreciate you waiting for me to catch my breath. It's quite humid in there. I really didn't expect that… Once we really get into the swing of it, I may be coming back here for breaks to cool off."
"I understand. There are plenty of lakes around. Take a look at the map inside his file; I think his school's near one." Wanda floated towards the door, frowning with her arms crossed tight. "I'm going to keep an eye on him. I'll stay in the cage, but I think one of us should. You should rest; you didn't look well."
You don't have to say it like you're in charge, I thought, but kept my mouth shut on that one. Still, once she'd gone, I shook my head. Fairy damsels… Bossy, bossy, bossy! And so forward, too.
Well, I couldn't be upset with Wanda offering me a break to recuperate while she watched our assignment outside. My client, I thought, and with a puff of pride, My godchild…
I closed off my room and checked in with Lohai once again. She'd taken on cravings for seafood across her pregnancy, and you can imagine why that's not part of a genie's usual diet. That would take time to prepare, but a genie is nothing if not patient. So out I went. Now, I'll be the first to admit how many markets and restaurants are actively tense when Anti-Fairies hit the scene, but my border-crossing pass and school ID served me well. I even ran into two of our fellow godparents-in-training doing a little shopping of their own, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Well, well, well! If it isn't my dear brother from across the pond and my dorm neighbour herself. Where are you two assigned again? Are you out on Snobulac?"
Fairy-Robin (My brother's counterpart) and Cookie Sprinkles both looked up, their eyes marked in dark circles I shall never forget. Unbending in my smirk, I leaned a little closer.
"Well, don't you two look positively-"
"Don't," they growled back, "say it."
Ah, well. I bid my cousin and Cookie good-bye, leaving them to bicker over tuna fish and breadcrumbs in peace. Pity, though. I'd never had the fortune of running into Fairy-Robin in class, for he was quite a bit ahead of me in schooling and I think he only showed at night. I'd have liked to press him about Fairy-Cosmo, but one nasty glare from Cookie told me today was not the time to chat.
Wanda and I could use a treat, I thought, adding two tubs of ice cream to my shopping bag. If you hang around Wanda, you learn pretty fast that she likes chocolate everything. I swiped my student discount card and headed home again, lobster and sweets in hand. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the sight I encountered when I pushed open the apartment door. My bag plunged from hand to ground.
"Mandelro? What are you doing here? … How did you get here?" Had he stuck his hand into the cage? Did the portal draw him in? Did I tie it off wrong? That was really Cosmo's fault if it turned out true. Mandelro whirled, his eyes big and drippy. My pings of surprise rippled through the energy field and rolled right over him. Oh, dear me. I kicked the door shut and drew my wand without turning back. "Where is Wanda?"
"Please, I don't know where I am… I don't know what's happening!"
"You shouldn't be here," I said, walking over with an outstretched hand. "There's far less air in Fairy World than your kind is used to breathing. Come along. Let's get you back through-"
A flash of movement. I hit the wall, Mandelro's hands pinning mine above my head. My wand clattered to the ground. The other lay in direct contact with my skin, so I couldn't use it without risk of searing burns. Should I regardless? Could I even do that against my godkid? Come now- That had to be against Da Rules. Not that I'd read them all, but it must be.
That hesitation did me in. Within mere wingbeats of patting me down, Mandelro found the spare wand clipped behind my calf. I kicked my legs, shouting and flaring my wings, but what was I to do? He had twice the height on me! Oooh! I stuttered through my words, jabbing here and gasping there, when Mandelro shoved his pointy knee into my stomach to hold me still. Heaving, I tilted up my head. Another tiny detail fluttered through my brain, and I froze.
"Wait a moment… Your eyes are red. You're not my godchild." I flared my nostrils, whiffing deep. Pheromones. Apple, if I'm not mistaken. "You're a Fairy."
His huff of response whisked across my face. The illusion rippled, but didn't fade. "Look, Anti-Fairy- When I want to hear your squeaks, I'll ask for 'em. What's the most valuable thing you've got in here?"
My wand, I thought. It could be replaced, but what a huge hassle it is to do so. "Are we being robbed?" Did I not lock the door? "Oh, crumpets. Wanda? Wanda, can you hear me?" The portal door stood shut, but who else was I to call? Cosmo, help me… I know it's my third time asking today, but of all the times I really need it, it's this one!
The stranger - an older fairy drake, I think, by the smell of him - looked left and right, then dragged me across the apartment towards Wanda's open bedroom door. I'd shut mine when I went out, but she'd left hers cracked by a hair. I twisted, snapping with my fangs, but with my claws held out of reach and my wand on the floor, my personal defences were a wee bit limited. I stomped on the fairy's toes. I tried to knee him in the guts. I couldn't catch a grip on his skin, and with a grunt, he threw me across Wanda's bed. I banged my head against a metal rose carved on the back panel and fought to sit again. But the drake pushed me down.
"Stay."
"What-?"
He shoved me over, rolling me on my stomach. Cold metal wrapped my hands. Click! He withdrew, but when I snapped my wings out and tried again to sit, my bound hands held me back. Handcuffs? He'd chained me to Wanda's bed! It brought back flashes of the Keepers hauling me to the Eros Nest until my trial day. Who even carried handcuffs these days? They burned like they might be magic, which I suppose explains it, but far too strong for me to dissolve. I seethed through my fangs, squirming my arms.
"Who are you?"
"Hm," said the man, his eyes full of sunshine. "Nobody special."
He locked the door and disappeared back into our apartment. Ooh, that conniving wretch! He hadn't even turned a light on for me! Wanda's room had a window, though the curtains were drawn shut. I looked left and right, kicking my feet, but I was much too far from the portal door to be heard now. Still… I gave it one more try.
"Wanda, HELP!"
20 minutes passed without reply from her, and the rummaging noises outside the bedroom only added to my fury. I strained my magic, beating my wings, but without either of my wands, there was nothing I could do. I didn't sweat like the Fairy race, so no leftover dust clung against my skin.
30 minutes came and went. Then 40. I still strained against my bonds, though with less conviction. Had they been rope, I could have chewed my way out quite simply. Though I suppose that defeats the point…
But at last, a distant click of a doorknob brought me from my wandering thoughts to seething in relief. "Wanda," I called again. "Help! We've been robbed!"
She flung open her door a second later, floating with her wand at the ready. When she saw me cuffed to her bed, she lowered it by a hair. "Anti-Cosmo? What happened? Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes, I've not been harmed," I said as she flew over to examine my wrists. I'd rubbed the skin raw. "I'd just come back from getting groceries - I'm afraid the lobster's spoiled now, and the ice cream must be long melted-"
"What happened?" Wanda repeated, grabbing one cuff in her hand. I winced, but that didn't stop her from trying to click it open.
"Oh, that… Well, I came inside and Mandelro was there-"
"Mandelro?"
"-but really, some red-eyed stranger who'd shifted himself to look like Mandelro. He caught me off guard- I wasn't prepared- He took my wand and my spare and I can't get any summoning tools from my coat-"
"I hear you. Well, let's get you out of there." She tapped the cuffs with her wand, but they didn't dissolve into dust (to my crushing disappointment). Curses. Items formed of yellow magic can only be reversed by the one who cast them, and I rather suspected these must qualify.
"Oh, I'll be fine a moment. Please, if you'd put away the groceries, that would do wonders for my peace of mind."
Wanda lit a candle with her wand, then ventured out to the kitchen and returned with a bowl of ice cream, an unbroken mirror, and a salt shaker. "Well, I don't have a key… but would you have the strength to poof out if I spilled some salt? I know these things summon Anti-Fairies."
"Ah, well… No, I can't be summoned when I'm this close."
"I could go out in the hall-"
"You're far more likely to summon a person available rather than the one whose hands are tied. I'd still need my wand for that anyway. Summoning is our more ancient magic. We just use wands to distribute bad luck these days because it's a lot easier to do that than restocking on gryphon claws or mother-of-pearl." I strained against the bonds again, Wanda watching me from the side. "Ahh… Can you shapeshift into a key, by any chance?"
"No, not with magic safeguards. We'd need something to cancel the effects. Inrita, maybe. They might have that at the campus store."
I flopped back in a huff, staring up at her. The crease across Wanda's forehead did make me wonder how keeping eyes on Mandelro had gone, though I doubted she was in the mood to elaborate. I could ask her later. "Why don't you kill me?"
Wanda's wings sped their beating, blurring behind her like a ghost. "Uh, excuse me?"
She said it with such horror that even I winced at the thought. "Yes, yes. A slit in the throat will do it, or a plunge in the stomach… some sort of deep slice. Anything of the sort, really. Only, it has to be an unenchanted knife. Magical objects-"
"-have no effect against magical creatures," she finished, folding her arms. Though the concept of Unseelie regeneration was obviously not unfamiliar to her, she still didn't look happy. "We aren't allowed non-magic-touched knives on campus."
"There's one in my summoning coat. It got approved; it was in the kit with all the rest." I nodded my head to one side, and Wanda bent down to run a hand between my coat and shirt. The skim of warm Fairy energy made my fur prickle up, but I kept my breathing as steady as I could. Wanda found the knife in question and drew it out. She turned it over in her hand, then glanced at me with a lifted brow. I shrugged, guilty as charged. "He didn't ask."
"Is it your first time?"
"No, not my first… Once I burned in chocolate, I've been taken to the Breath temple for healing, and I split my neck during the dragon attack on Faeheim." I remembered Anti-Binky then and winced as butterflies fought to squirm their way up my throat. "A rival once caught me off guard a few times, but I'm all right now. That's behind me."
"Chocolate?"
"I worked in Sugarslew. We did drain the vat after; don't worry about that. I've not forced regeneration intentionally, though. And, ah… I'd prefer you don't spread this around. I've gathered a careful reputation, you see. Some of us like keeping our regen number low."
"Drakes," she snorted. Her arms dropped to her sides again, and she studied me up and down. "Well, uh… It sounds like it hurts."
"I know. But, there's simply no way around that." I squeezed my eyes shut. "Now please, Wanda, draw the knife. I want to get this done as quickly as possible. Oh, and…" Opening my eyes again, I glanced down at her bedsheets. "You may want to get a towel to place beneath my head. I imagine I'll bleed. Um. I'll do the wash."
Wanda gave me a pained smile, but a smile nonetheless. I took calm, steady breaths and flexed my fingers in their bonds. She fetched the materials I'd asked for, then positioned her arm carefully above me. The candlelight glinted red off the sharp metal of the knife, and I cringed despite myself.
"Are you sure you want me to do this?" she asked, watching me. "We don't have to."
"No, no, I do want to. Down towards the windpipe now, and don't hold back."
"Uh… I mean, if you're sure about it." Wanda laid the knife horizontally against my collarbone. The glimmer of cold, non-magic metal flooded my veins with ice. I didn't often draw my knife from its sheath, and just the thought of it so close to bare skin made my vision blur. I nodded, not bothering to limit my movements; no need to avoid pricking myself when I knew what was coming. Wanda nodded back. Even so, she looked away when she made the actual cut.
Shhhlck!
The slice swept right across my throat. I jolted, yanking in my legs, but the handcuffs dragged me back to the pillow before I could sit up. Lying down was easier.
"Excellent," I whispered, partly wheezing the word. Blood bubbled up along the gash in my throat. I didn't know what colour it was, and frankly I didn't want to. More than a little flustered, I raised my gaze to Wanda's. "Ah. It's not the deepest cut, so it will… take a minute to complete the 'dying' part. You don't have to stay."
Her fingertips trailed across my chest. She nudged my shirt collar to one side. Did she worry about bloodstains on my clothes? The thought made me smile, even as my neck stung against the air. Typical dame. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean, it's your first time intentionally. I don't want to just leave you alone when you're, uh… dying."
"I'll be all right."
"Well, do you mind if I start cooking dinner, then? It's the least I can do when you premade all our lunches."
I eyeballed the knife in her hand. Wanda looked at it in surprise, then burst into bubbly laughter.
"Don't bug out. I'll wash it first."
My eyes widened, and that just made her laugh harder. It was a snorting laugh, and yet something of a giggle too, and she covered her mouth with three of her fingers. "Anti-Cosmo, I'm joking. I'll get a new one."
"I do worry for you sometimes."
She pointed the knife over her shoulder as she rose to her wings. "I'll just be over in the kitchen. Holler if you want me to come back. Is there any special way I need to treat your summoning knife?"
"There's a sterilisation ritual, but I can handle that on my own. Leave it on the counter and go on with your cooking; I'll be fine."
She went. I lay alone on her bed, twitching and wheezing as my vision fizzled in and out. The seconds ticked by. Cold blood oozed across my neck, running along my ears and tangling in my hair. I only hoped most of it landed on the towel Wanda had slid underneath my head.
At last, my gasping subsided. My body stilled. I couldn't move anything. Not even twitch a finger. All was dark. First it was black, and then it was green. And I was not yet alive.
When I came to my senses again, this touch of that other world - Plane 23 - wreathed around me like the scent of fresh-baked s'mores. Only instead of something scrumptious, the stink made me sit up and retch. Sluggish waves of sticky, whitish-brown slid off my tongue like bits of clay. It plopped to the straw. Oh, I tasted ash and soil… Was something burning? My hair? The world? My life? I lifted my head, greeted by familiar bars that stretched above me in a dome. The cage swayed just enough to remind me where I was: hanging by a thread.
"You're awake," said a voice in some surprise. Feminine, I think? Not that it really mattered. I turned my head, shaking and wingless and very much icky and feeble in my current state.
The nature spirit standing across from me held a book in both her crab-claw hands. Smooth, crystally white skin as pale as snow. It sparkled either way. An enormous brown eye gazed back at me, blinking with long lashes. She only had the one.
"… Beira?"
"I know who you are now," she said, putting her book aside on a desk. It thumped. A gust of wind blew across the room. I froze, unsure of the spirit's intentions, and Beira squeezed the bars of my cage in her claws. "You rebuilt a passing temple for my granddaughter years ago. Sunlight Dancing on the Ice Top. Do you remember that?"
"I did, didn't I," I murmured, not really asking it like a question.
"I know you can't stay long - You're regenerating - but I have a grandson in Faeheim whose temple is lost. He isn't safe; please help him. His name is Creek Atop the Hill."
"Uh… I'll try?" No spirit had ever asked such a thing of me before. I suppose that should go without saying, really. My brother Anti-Robin claimed to have communed with the spirit of August, but I myself hadn't faced one quite so… personally.
"Thank you," came her warbling reply. The world around me swirled with smoke. I plunged back into its depths. Feeling rushed headlong into my limbs. With a gasp, I jerked myself awake. Aha! Yes, there were my partly-reformed arms, my legs, and my wrist-
-still firmly locked in the cuffs. I banged my head against the carved rose behind my head as I slid back down, and didn't try to hide my groan.
"It didn't work?" Wanda called from the kitchen.
"No, it certainly did not! And there's really nothing I can do to fix that…" I blinked towards the ceiling, heaving sticky breaths. My injuries had left me. I wasn't bleeding anymore. Should I give that another try? Press Beira for information? She might tell me more. She was a spirit, after all. But…
Wanda floated back in, holding a half-eaten sandwich in one hand. She'd added meat this time. I could smell it from across the room, and a swish in the energy field told me she approved of my prep work quite a bit. From the doorway, she sized me up again. "It looks like you just regenerated in the same place. Should we do it again? When you go to smoke, I can shift the cuffs over. Then maybe your hand won't be in them when you come back."
"I think I'm done regenerating for now," I whispered back. I did not particularly like the way my words shook themselves out, nor the sniffle that I made. "Ohh, that was a bit rougher than I expected. I'll be all right. I think I need to take things easy the rest of tonight, though."
"Well hey, now you can honestly say you've tried. Why don't we-?"
"Wanda?" Mandelro shouted from outside our cage, his voice bouncing through our portal link. It hit every wall in our apartment, jolting both Wanda and I to full attention. "Anti-Cosmo? Guys, I need to talk to you. It's about my sister."
Wanda looked at me. I looked at her. She leaned through the door again, gazing towards our portal exit. "Wanda," I pleaded, "don't!"
She bit her lip and raised her wand. "I'm sorry, scout. I have to… I'll call reception and have them send a locksmith up right away."
As her starpiece glowed, I strained uselessly against the handcuffs again. "Wanda, darling, have mercy. I am chained to your bed! I don't want anyone to see me like this! My reputation will go up in smoke, much the way I wish I could right now!"
"I'm sorry," she said again," making a pleading gesture with her hands. She bowed to me twice as she backed away, as if that made the act more noble, and when she vanished through our portal… I was left alone again. Stripped of my dignity and pinned to her mattress, lying in a mess of my own blood.
"Hh… hhh…" My arms ached from the way they were twisted above me, and my sore neck wasn't doing any better. The cut along my throat had healed, but the inside still burned. I leaned back my head to get a better look at the cuffs. I yanked. Twice. Metal bit my hands, and I stopped rather fast. Metal, you know, is a dangerous thing to play with around Fae blood.
My neck blazed with heat every time I swallowed. Tiny spots danced in the corners of my eyes. For a time I continued my struggle with my bonds, kicking and mildly cursing behind my fangs. But this resulted in the metal bars banging against the wall, and finally Wanda's neighbour rapped her knuckles against the other side and demanded I keep down the noise before she called in the RA. And I did not want to explain why I was chained to Wanda's bed with a bloody towel tucked under me to the RA. Sorely injured, I resigned myself to my fate in silence.
"Hh- hh- Help… Please, help…" Should I call the neighbour over? Had Wanda locked the door when she went to move the groceries, fearing our burglar might return?
I'd probably been puffing and panting that way for 5 more minutes before I heard the doorknob jiggle outside the room. I sat up, fully expecting Wanda and perhaps Mandelro with her, only to narrow my eyes when I realised the noise came from the front of the apartment, not the back. The fairy drake who entered didn't knock or call. He simply swung open the door and let himself in. I watched, straining to see, as he closed the door again. Definitely a fairy drake. The common subspecies, if I wasn't mistaken.
He wore a white pullover with a large pocket in the front, and it looked awfully comfy. Much more so than the sleeveless black shirt I'd worn throughout my adolescence. Dots of acne sprinkled his face. At least three spikes of green hair hung in his eyes, and the rest of it curled thick and long in the back. The sweatshirt hung around his frame in a ridiculously loose manner, as though he were aiming for the rumpled look intentionally.
He wandered straight past the open bedroom door and into the kitchen, where there were no people at all. What? "I'm in here," I called out. Although I succeeded in not referring to him with an unflattering name, I made no attempt to muffle the irritation in my tone. "You're the locksmith my roommate called for, I presume?"
Only after I spoke did it occur to me he might not be. That would be such a lark, two burglars in one day.
The drake doubled back and paused in the doorway. His eyes flicked across Wanda's cutesy set-up to my bed. When our eyes met, he broke into a smile. He couldn't have been much older than I was, though the braces made it difficult to pinpoint him for certain. Hm. I'd have been tempted to peg him far younger, but the golden crown floating at least six inches above his head (All right, so I did look) proved his fairy blood, and there weren't many fairies, of course, who could be any younger than me. A couple stragglers from non-terminated pregnancies after the ban on fairy babies was made. He IS young, though… I couldn't detect his pheromones beneath the familiar cherry almond scent Wanda and Blonda carried with them.
"Yo, sick threads, dude," he greeted in a high-pitched voice, releasing the door frame. "I got a call saying that some anti-fairy in here got his hands cuffed together. Don't know where I could find him, do you?"
"Who do you think that anti-fairy might be?" I snapped. "It's me! You absolute buffoon!" My cheeks flushed with ice, thawing and re-freezing over and over again. I'm not in here on purpose, I wanted to beg. Please, please don't report this… Not while she's in heat. No, no- That couldn't go in my file! I had no bloody intention of trying anything on with Wanda! And without her here to testify, would this fairy even believe my denial? Or might he think Wanda had wrested me off her, chained me up, and fled while she had the chance?
He shrugged. "Juuust checking. I once got called in to get a damsel out of the bathroom, but I helped her roommate out of the closet instead and forgot about her. Huh. I hope she got out there eventually." He stared for a second into space, one hand on his wand sheath like he was seriously considering popping over to check on her right now.
Instead, his eyes came back into focus. He approached my bedside and studied my predicament. One finger tapped against his chin. Every movement he made sounded like velcro tearing in my ears. All fairy magic sounded like that, but I'd grown habituated to Wanda's signals. This drake's flared alarmingly high, more like scratching sandpaper or heavy silverware beating consistently against a sheet of metal in a thunderstorm. It was enough to make me squint. He's filled to the brim with magic. Lucky duck. I didn't say that bit out loud.
"So, what exactly seems to be the problem?" the drake asked himself, staring at my hands. He tipped his head far to one side, then quite literally flipped himself upside-down, his wings rapidly beating to keep him aloft. I hadn't realised fairies could do that. Even after watching him, I firmly believe they aren't supposed to. He pointed a finger at my wrists. "Hey, would you mind turning those cuffs over? I need to see that keyhole if I'm going to be able to do this."
"In case you haven't noticed," I growled up to him, "my mobility is severely restrained at this time."
"So… Is that a 'No,' then?"
I stared through his wide eyes, which shimmered bright green like his hair, and tried to decide whether or not he was fooling with me. Well… At least he didn't smell of heat pheromones. That was one less annoyance than it could be. Not that I didn't expect Wanda to retain her senses, but that fact might keep their minds from drifting off if she returned with little warning. Well.
Focusing my attention on my hands, I gave my best effort to twist the cuffs around and expose the keyhole. The drake righted himself and leaned behind my neck to get a better look at it. I allowed my wings to fall limp against my sides. "Oh, yep," he remarked, scruitinising what new details he could see. "That's a reeeally small hole you've got there. I'm not sure I can even fit two fingers in it. Maybe my pinky, if I wiggle it right."
"For Tarrow's sake, keep your voice down! This wall isn't terribly thick." I turned my face away, crushing my lower lip with my fangs. "Please tell me you have the right key to stick in there and get this done with."
The guy laughed. "Keys? I don't need any keys! I am the key."
… Beg pardon?
Before I could voice a protest, the drake turned himself into a tiny green key with a soft poof. Then he disappeared behind me. I strained my neck, trying to glimpse him over my shoulder. Though he'd moved into my blind spot, I could hear him climbing in and out of the lock. Sliding, really, in the form he'd taken. Hot waves of magic brushed my wrists each time he decided he hadn't picked the correct shape and needed to adjust. It itched. Terribly.
"You know, I'm not quite certain what you're even trying to do down there. In case you haven't figured it out by now, those are magic handcuffs. You can't simply contort yourself into the right shape and expect the whole thing to pop right open. That doesn't work."
"No problem, dude!" His voice echoed against the insides of the hole. "I'm ¼ brownie. I've got juuust enough inrita in my saliva to disable this. Picking locks is easy; it's choosing them that's hard. Okay. Now, I've just gotta push this pin up… and this one… and this one here at the…"
With a sharp click! the cuffs loosened around my wrists. I pulled my hands free as the drake reappeared on my right, coughing on the dusty poof cloud he'd brought along with him. When he saw me massaging the places on my skin that had been rubbed until it burned, he scratched behind his head.
"Was that all? Far-out! I caught a lucky break. Y'know, sometimes being a magic key is just an unmentionably horrible job. At least you were wearing pants when I walked in. You would not believe how freaked out the last drake I found chained to a bed was after the fire alarm went off and his whole floor evacuated."
"Oh, dear and faithful freedom… Why, I simply can't thank you enough for helping me out of that, old sport. That burglar played a rotten trick on me, and I would be quite mortified if word of this whole thing got out." I looked him sternly in the eye when I said that last part. "I'm sure you understand, hm?"
The fairy saluted with his hand against his forehead. "Yeah, just doing my job, man. If you ever wanna get yourself locked up again, you can totally call on me to bail you out. I'm paid by commission."
"Oh. Yes, of course. Yes." Did he mean me? Shouldn't the staff take care of that? Phoo, I really should learn how this whole exchange of goods and services pans out face to face. He must be waiting for a tip. I stared moodily across Wanda's room, which offered me no options I didn't think she would slap me for handing over. "Ahem… Do you accept payment by wand scan?"
"It's supposed to be in physical form," said the drake, sounding truly apologetic and now a little bit nervous. He fiddled with the soft end of his wand. Is this really all on me? Technically, Wanda's the one who called for him. But I didn't blame the drake for hesitating. Perhaps he'd been smacked over the ear after returning to his boss empty-handed one too many times. I imagined I could pull a number of lies over this fairy's head, but I doubted an attempt to weasel out of payment would be one of them (Genius though I was).
Well. Wanda had devoured another sandwich, which left me to fend for my own supper tonight. I turned back to the fidgety drake and drew a wisp of air in through my nostrils. "Well, the burglar who chained me to that bed ran off with my wands, and quite possibly all the hard cash I had. I'll have to make a stop for a temp replacement, but could I perhaps treat you to dinner at Anti-D'Hielo's tonight in return for your troubles? It's one town over. If you like authentic Anti-Fairy food, you won't find a better place in Fairy World. My fiancée and I eat there quite often. It may not be as traditional as repairing a fence or boat to express my thanks, but that's brill, innit mate? It's still offered from the core."
The drake's eyes brightened like candles on a stormy night. "Yeah, food is a physical thing! That's fair. Ooh, do you think you could get your wand replaced first, then show up outside my dorm at 6:30? That place sounds way fancy, and I'll need plenty of time to get pretty before I eat out there." He stuck out his hand, bouncing on his toes as I returned the gesture. His teeth flashed in a shy smile. The other hand lifted messy bangs from his eyes. "By the way, my name's Cosmo… Cosmo Julius Cosma. What's yours?"
A/N - In "The Gland Plan," Cosmo revealed he'd once worked as a magic key (and he described the experience as "unmentionably horrible"). His young design here is based on his look in "Wishy Washy."
In "Timmy's Secret Wish," Cosmo said that "the last time an old man came by saying we were his fairies, I ended up chained to the water heater while he stole our DVD player." I like to think that burglar's been running through Fairy World for a long time, and the parallels between Cosmo and his anti-self were too good to pass up...