Football Game

Jon pulled his car into one of the only available parking spots left and said, "We're here, boys! Let's go!"

"Tell you what, Jon," Garfield said from the passenger seat, "you go in, we'll stay in the car, and then you can tell us all about it."

Jon opened the back door and started taking stuff out, "Come on, boys, we don't want to be late. Gosh, it's so lucky we got these free tickets in that radio call-in contest."

"Lucky would've been if they were giving away free pizza for a year," Garfield grumbled as he stepped out of the car. "We have to get up early and spend six hours in the car to drive to a stupid football game because the tickets brain boy here won on the radio, aren't even for a game in our state." He sighed, "Oh well, I might as well make the most of it." He turned his head and called into the car, "you ready, Odie?"

"Ruff-ruff!" the dog barked affirmatively.

A second later, a giant red foam finger with yellow feet hopped out of the car and could be heard panting as it turned one way and another.

"What?" Garfield addressed the 4th wall, playing innocent, "It's an improvement for him."

Jon had collected a couple blankets, a set of pompoms, and pendant from the car and slammed the door, telling the boys, "Let's head in, we don't want to miss kickoff."

"Jon you dummy," Garfield waved his arms dramatically, "it's an hour away, how can we be late?"

He turned his head and his eyes doubled in size when he saw the line of people waiting to get into the stadium.

"I'm staying in the car," he decided.

Garfield was huffing and puffing as he, Jon and Odie finally reached their assigned seats.

"81,000 people, five stories high," Garfield said, "next time Jon tries calling in on a radio contest, I'm gonna kill him."

Jon, meanwhile, was both oblivious and ecstatic.

"Isn't this great, boys? Right in the top row, we'll be able to see everything from here!"

Garfield leaned over the guard rail and asked cynically, "What are all those green ants doing down on the field?"

"We had to spend six hours in the car driving here," Garfield complained to himself, "and now we have to sit up here for three more hours watching a stupid football game, so we can spend another six hours in the car going home. Whoever invented radio call-in contests should be drug out into the street and shot."

Odie had been working on shaking his way loose from the giant foam finger and was finally successful, he let out a victorious sound and sat down next to Garfield.

"We could've stayed home and watched this game on TV," Garfield told the dog, "at least there we could change the channel. What's one thing about this whole experience that could possibly make it worthwhile?"

He turned and looked at some of the other people who had made it to the top of the stadium and his eyes got big and his mouth opened wide and full of sharp teeth like Jaws. His tail flickered a couple times before he went leaping through the air.

"Garfield!" Jon exclaimed in disbelief.

The cartoonist was mortified as he had to get up from his seat and head over to a large burly man who had been wearing a foam cheese head, the entire thing of which had been engulfed in Garfield's mouth, similar to the time he bit the end of an ice cream truck shaped like a cone. The man was staring daggers at Jon as Garfield hung from the man's hat, his teeth still exposed, as Garfield commented, "I think the cheese has dried out."

"Hot dogs!" a vendor called as he made his way through the bleachers, "get your hot dogs right here!"

"That's more like it," Garfield said as he leapt out of his seat.

"Hey!" Jon saw his fat orange cat getting airborne as he hurled himself at the young man selling hot dogs, and got up to do damage control.

"Why yes I will take all of them, thank you very much," Garfield said with a big grin on his face as he swiped up a dozen hot dogs easily from the very confused stadium employee.

"Ahem!" Jon cleared his throat.

"Oh okay," Garfield kept a hold on most of them and handed one to Jon, "here you go."

"This is so boring," Garfield commented to Odie as people around them, Jon included, stood up in the seats and yelled and cheered as they waved pendants and pompoms and foam fingers. "This is almost as boring as watching golf."

Odie whimpered in response.

"I want my chair, I want my sandbox, I want my refrigerator," Garfield bemoaned, "I want...hello!"

"Hmm?" Odie grunted.

"Banzai!" Garfield hurled himself over the guard rail and soared towards the field.

"Garfield!" Jon got up from his seat, "What're you doing?"

He ran down the stairs, and was worried he'd find Garfield had made himself a fat greasy stain on the field. Instead he was embarrassed when he saw Garfield had landed on one of the opposing football players, and once again, had his teeth all showing, as he had latched his huge mouth clear around the player's shiny red helmet.

Garfield had a disappointed look on his face as he said to Jon, "This doesn't taste like cherry...and where's the candy center?"

"That is the last time I take you boys to a football game," Jon said as he dragged his tired, weary self in through the front door.

"Can we get that in writing?" Garfield asked as he shut the door behind them.

Jon took off his coat, revealing his shirt was torn and his body was a mess of bruises after being beaten up by several people in the bleachers, a couple vendors, and half a dozen members of both football teams.

Odie leaned up against Garfield and murmured in his ear. The orange cat looked at him and replied, "You might have something there, Odie."

The yellow dog made a whining sound that faintly resembled an 'uh huh'.

The next afternoon, Jon got home from work and kicked the door shut behind him.

"Boys, I'm home," he announced, then stopped in his tracks and his eyes widened.

Garfield and Odie stood in front of the couch, revealing the coffee table in front of it was laden with a pizza, a plate of hot dogs, several bags of peanuts, a six-pack of soda, and a big bowl of popcorn.

"What's this?" Jon asked.

"This is a football game done right," Garfield said as he and Odie led Jon over to the couch and piled on either side of him, "no parking, no crowd, no stairs, no rain, and if the game gets too boring, we can switch over to a movie on cable."

The cherry on top for Jon was when the boys pulled out the pendant and pompoms.

"Thanks, boys."

"No problem, just no more road trips," Garfield said as he and Odie each took a pompom and shook them. He addressed the 4th wall and added, "Yeah, I know what you're thinking, but even if it was a totally boring experience, it was nice of Jon to take us with him. Besides, Christmas will be coming in a few months and this seemed like a good way to inch off the naughty list." He turned towards the TV again and shook the pompom harder, "Go team, go!"