GRENADE
Mineta yelped as a lump of metal hit him on the head. He looked down and saw a grenade.
"Take cover!" Kaminari howled, jumping behind Kirishima.
Mineta scrambled for the grenade. It slipped out of his hands and bounced. Once he finally got both hands on it, he wound back and threw it. The grenade sailed into the air, stopped, and turned around, pelting Mineta on the forehead.
Mineta left the grenade on the ground and ran for it. When he looked back, he saw it bouncing after him. Mineta yelped and ran faster, but the grenade remained hot on his heels.
On the training ground, he saw a large rock. Mineta pried it up, but he saw ten more grenades ominously ticking under the rock. He dropped it, then ran over to a tree. The hollow in its trunk had a pile of grenades. A squirrel gnawed on one. Mineta wrenched open a car door, only to have grenades spill out of the seats. He popped back a sewer grate and heard ominous ticking.
Making a mad dash for the dorms, Mineta rushed into the kitchen. He ran the garbage disposal, and grenades bubbled up from the drain. He flung open the fridge, only to find grenades nestled amongst the protein mixes, dried crickets, and thawed mice. The freezer had frozen grenade popsicles in neat ticking rows.
Mineta flushed the toilet. Grenades plopped in from the sides, and he hastily slammed the lid. He opened the bathroom cabinets, then promptly shut them.
A metal bowl sat on the living room table, piled high with fruit. Mineta flipped it over and shoved the grenade underneath. With the ticking bomb safely contained, Mineta wiped sweat off his brow, only to notice the grenade taped to the bowl's underside. He flipped it back over, and more grenades spilled across the table.
Mineta shrieked, grabbed his grenade, and booked it for the school. He pulled open Aizawa's sleeping bag and saw a galaxy of blinking red lights within. The desks, Aizawa's coffee thermos, the air vents, the gym lockers, none were safe from the blinking, ticking menaces. Mineta ran back outside and dug into the ground with his bare hands. A few inches down, he hit an air pocket. He beheld the inside of the world, a hollow space encased in three inches of topsoil, completely filled with grenades.
The ticking grew faster. Mineta made one last ditch effort to look around, and he spotted salvation. He ran up to Izuku, pried his jaws open, and shoved the grenade inside.
Izuku swallowed. The grenade made a visible lump as it fell down his throat and plopped into his stomach. It exploded, and Izuku's chest rang like a muffled bell.
Mineta let out a sigh of relief and sank to the ground. Izuku belched out a cloud of smoke and said, "Template loaded. Now printing additional copies."
Izuku rumbled ominously. His chest popped open with a ding, and a river of grenades poured out.
500
And this is why you should always have a designated ticking grenade drawer.