Chapter 24: It's Only A Paper Moon
Inside the "storage room" was an ordinary-looking bedroom. On a closer look, it was a very ordinary-looking bedroom. The walls, bed, curtain, and throw rug were all generic shades of blue. There was a desk with a computer and a small bookshelf filled with school textbooks. The walls had nothing on them but some family photos — no posters, no snapshots of friends, no artwork. Everything looked absolutely pristine, like a model home or a furniture store. Goro touched the computer monitor. Cold. Either nobody lived there, or….
The group spread out, poking around what little there was to see. Goro's eye was drawn to a closet in the corner of the room, so he walked over and gave the door a tug. It stuck.
He whistled, and the others gathered around him at the closet door.
"This is it," said Goro. "Time to find out what big secret Ren's been hiding." He took a look back at the others and eyed Maruki. "Hey, Doc. Before I open this up, you should know this might end in a fight. Are you up for that?"
"Not at all. Let's try to resolve it without violence," said Maruki with distaste.
"Obviously we're going to try. But if it comes down to it…just stay out of the way," said Goro.
"Fine." Maruki held up his hands.
That settled, Goro turned his attention back to the closet. "I know you're in there. Come on out," said Goro, tapping at the door.
The door slid open a crack. One of Ren's eyes peered out suspiciously. Even in the dim light, a dark circle was visible under it.
"Come out. We're here to take you home," said Goro.
"I'm not going anywhere with you."
The eye closed and fell back into the shadows. Goro stuck his hand in the door and shoved it open. Ren was sitting with his arms resting on his knees, head lolling back into the corner of the closet.
There were some gasps and other sounds of distress behind Goro. Ren didn't seem to notice it. Goro held up a hand to stop the others from all crowding in.
"What are you talking about?"
Ren's face twisted with suspicion. "You're working with Shido again. I don't know what you two are up to, but you can't have this town. Not while I'm here."
"Give me a break. You're not even fit to be my rival in this state," said Goro, kneeling next to him and picking up one limp arm. He let go of the arm and Ren let it drop like a rock to the ground.
"Rival? Who cares about that?" said Ren flatly.
"Give my glove back, then."
Ren frowned and looked away.
Fishing for something he could use, Goro tried, "Listen. I know what you're doing here."
"Why don't you tell us, then?" Takamaki said impatiently.
Goro resisted the urge to stand up, turn around, and throttle her until her pigtails fell off. A ghost of a smile appeared on Ren's face, though, so Goro decided to change tactics. He moved aside a little, so Ren could see the girls.
"Look — Takamaki, Suzui, Niijima, and Togo all came to help you. And Maruki," he added, a little grudgingly.
"Are you all working for Shido?" Ren demanded.
"Of course we aren't!" said Takamaki. She knelt on the floor next to him and said, more gently, "You remember how we met? How you chased me through the subway and wouldn't give up until I told you why I was crying?"
To Goro's surprise, Ren stayed quiet. Listening.
"You saved my life that day," said Takamaki, smiling despite what must have been a painful memory. "And now I'm going to return the favor. Come on out."
She held out her hand. Ren's expression was almost hungry, as if he were starving and she had made his favorite dish. But he shook his head resolutely. "I can't leave. I'm sorry, Ann."
The shape of Ren's imprisonment was becoming clearer to Goro. He decided to take a stab at it.
"You're…protecting this town somehow, aren't you? Keeping it from being overrun."
"If you only knew," Ren murmured. "I'm the only thing holding this town together."
Goro thought that was an unrealistic amount of responsibility to take on, if not outright delusional. A town couldn't fall apart like a wheel missing its linchpin.
"Holding the town together, just you. Amamiya, listen to yourself. Didn't we fight Maruki to get out of this exact scenario?"
"You don't understand. We just reset Maruki's world back to the real world. This place…is so…much…worse…."
"How is that possible?" Goro demanded. "Isn't it just some artifact of human cognition, like the rest of the Metaverse?"
"Yes! Human cognition that has been warped beyond recognition. There were roads in Mementos, walls, gravity. Imagine if instead of a subway, Mementos was just…shapeless. Nothing recognizable, nothing real. No reason to think that if you take a step forward, you'll end up there and not…fifty feet in the air or underwater or inside an oxygen molecule. People can't survive here."
"You can't survive here," said Goro, trying to emulate Sae's firm but sympathetic tone. "What will they do if you die?"
"Stop trying to trick me!" Ren yelled, getting to his feet at last. "This is my hometown and I'll fight for it!"
"Nobody even knows who you are here!" Goro snapped. "These people have you working five jobs and captaining every club in school. Your own parents see you as both a delinquent and a perfect golden boy at the same time, and they see nothing wrong with that!"
"You can't stop me, Akechi. You never could," said Ren. He seemed to ripple, and his appearance changed to his Metaverse costume.
Goro, who would have considered that a taunt a year ago, instead found himself feeling sorry for Ren. He was in so deep he couldn't see a way out, even when it was right in front of him. He was absolutely committed to this path, no matter how crazy or self-destructive it turned out to be. With a pang, Goro wondered if this was how Ren felt when they'd fought in the engine room of Shido's yacht.
"You're right," said Goro. "I've never beaten you before. But one thing is different now: I'm not alone this time."
The girls fell into position behind him, now wearing their own Metaverse outfits.
"How did we…?" Gambit asked, holding up her now-gloved hand in awe.
"This always happens when a Palace ruler sees us as a threat," said Panther sadly. "We aren't your enemies, Ren-kun. Stop this and let's talk it out, like the old days."
"We're more than willing to hear you out. We can help you, if you'll just let us," Banshee added. Gambit and Spike nodded their agreement.
Joker flinched, but readied his dagger. "I won't go easy on you. On any of you," he warned.
Crow smiled grimly. He knew, from the moment he had that flash about the engine room, that Joker wouldn't give up without a fight. He'd need to have sense beaten into him. They were alike that way.
As soon as they resolved to fight, the room transformed. The walls fell away like thin facades, revealing a vast, dark, open space. It was dark blue, almost black, and seemed to stretch in every direction.
Crow's mind flailed for a moment, trying to cope with what he was seeing. They seemed to be floating in a void, though their feet were still anchored to…something. With nothing to hold onto, he felt dizzy, like he was spinning somehow.
Suddenly, a paper moon dropped downward and hung, suspended, from a rope. The rope wasn't attached to anything that Crow could see, but at least it was something to orient themselves with.
Blue waves painted on cardboard popped up around them, further marking the space. How about a muslin tree? thought Crow, and several of them appeared. The more objects around them — no matter how thin or phony — the more understandable the space became. It wouldn't be make-believe, if you believed in me.
"This place is seriously the weirdest," sighed Suzui.
Crow grinned. "You need to listen to more jazz."
Joker, done talking, opened the fight by walloping Panther with a physical attack.
"Ow," Panther groaned. "What was that, a train?"
"Siegfried. He's immune to physical attacks, so magic only. Crow, heal her." Gambit was serving as navigator. She didn't have as much battle experience as Crow would have liked, but as the team strategist, it made sense for her to call the shots.
Crow dutifully switched his Persona to Parvati and healed Panther. As expected from Joker, this was a strong opening, forcing Crow to do the thing he was worst at rather than the thing he was best at. But the only alternative was to let Panther get KO'd, and if he did that, before long the team advantage would dwindle into nothing.
"Spike, alternate between Masukukaja and Marakukaja. Then just defend if you can," said Gambit.
Spike's support was key to their strategy. Raising the team's vitality and agility made them harder to hit and reduced the damage when they did get hit. The less healing they needed to do, the better. Crow's usual method of achieving less healing was to simply wipe everything out faster, but that wouldn't work with Ren.
Banshee called down lightning on Ren, but it barely made a scratch.
Gambit said, "Siegfried's weakness is…hang on…nuclear?! What does that mean?"
"Don't overthink it. We aren't getting irradiated or anything," said Goro.
"Probably!" added Takamaki cheerfully.
If Siegfried's only weakness was nuclear attacks, then only two people could attack him effectively: Haru Okumura and Crow himself. Joker knew that Crow would rather eat glass than ask Haru for a favor, so that left only one possibility. But Goro had prepared for this, choosing Personas that filled the gaps in his team's abilities.
Goro called on Titania and slammed Siegfried with her most powerful nuclear attack. Furious, Ren summoned his own version of Parvati and pummeled Titania with psychic damage.
In his ear, Hifumi cried, "He can summon the same Personas you can?! Why didn't you say so before?"
Crow growled, "Now you know. What does it change?"
"Everything!" she wailed.
Oh crap, thought Crow. He quickly switched back to Parvati, setting them at stalemate.
Panther and Banshee roasted Joker with Agi and Zio respectively, but he was easily able to keep up with them thanks to Parvati's excellent healing abilities.
Before Gambit could regroup with a new tactic, Joker unleashed something completely unexpected.
Suddenly, the space was filled with a plethora of Jokers. The leather-jacketed and well-groomed ones, as well as ones in soccer and kendo uniforms, one wearing the paper hat and apron of a convenience store clerk…. All the different Ren cognitions they'd seen around town. Crow ground his teeth together. I should've known he wouldn't stick to the script. Wouldn't be Joker if he did.
"Incredible technique!" said Gambit in their earpieces.
"Save the admiration for later, Gambit. What do we do with them?" Crow snapped.
"Oh, right. Sorry. Banshee, you focus on the copies," Gambit ordered. "Panther and Crow, focus on the real Joker. Spike, keep up the support and defend when you can."
Banshee electrified a group of the Jokers, and Crow started mentally calculating how many times she'd need to repeat the attack to take them all out. They could last long enough to do it, he thought.
But then Joker changed the rules again. Instead of attacking, he closed his eyes and concentrated. Immediately, all the copies' outfits changed to match his own, and they were faced with a half-dozen identical Jokers. Crow tried to keep his eye on the real one, but lost him almost at once.
"Which one's the real one, Gambit?" said Crow.
"I — I can't tell!" she said, sounding panicky.
"In case you haven't noticed, we're pretty busy over here!" Crow gritted out, taking a punch from one of the Jokers. "You're the only one who can figure it out, so do it!"
"Uh…uh…oh. Hmm," she said.
Two of the Jokers slammed into Crow from either side of him, then darted away. "Come on, Gambit, what have you got?" Crow shouted, clutching his bruised ribs.
"Uh…on your left. No, that's my left…your right!"
Temper rising and too late to hear her correction, Crow unleashed his anger on the Joker to his immediate left. It vanished. Must have been a copy. "Okay, the next thing we need to work on is signaling," Crow told Gambit.
"Sorry! But the thing to know is, the real Joker is the only one who can use a Persona!"
"Thanks. Spike, on your six!"
"My what?" said Spike.
Dammit, Crow thought, as Spike got hammered from behind by one of the Jokers. She crumpled to the ground and Panther shrieked, "Shiho!"
"Panther, hold your ground!" Crow ordered. "He won't attack her if she's incapacitated."
Inside, he felt sick. Freaking out won't help her, he reminded himself. The only thing that will help is ending this fast.
"What Persona is he using, Gambit?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice steady.
"Still Parvati," she reported, taking his cue and getting her own fear under control.
He must have more powerful Personas at his disposal. And Parvati's weakness is Curse, Crow thought. Hereward was a champ at Curse — besides physical attacks, that was Crow's greatest strength. It was tremendously tempting to choose Hereward and try to beat Joker by himself. It's also just what he would expect me to do. Joker had put a big red bullseye on himself with Parvati. It can't have been a mistake.
He's got a way to strike back if I use Hereward, Crow realized. "Gambit. It's time. This is the opportunity we talked about."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. The target is me. I'm going to heal Spike in case we need one of her abilities. We're just going to have to hope he can't knock me out in one hit."
"If he does, we're prepared for that. Don't worry," said Gambit.
"Easy for you to say!"
Crow healed Spike, who dragged herself to her feet. Banshee fended off the Joker copies, taking out several more of them. Panther concentrated to boost her magical power. Then it was time.
Crow switched to Hereward and attacked Parvati's weakness, Curse. It hit hard, but Ren was tough. He summoned Horus and attacked Hereward's weakness, Bless. Crow writhed in pain, his vision going spotty around the edges. He could've wished there was an easier way of accomplishing this feat, but if there was, he and Gambit hadn't hit on it.
"His weakness is fire. It's you, Panther!" Gambit's voice was shaky with nerves, but determined.
Panther cast Agidyne. She still had reservations about using it on Joker, but they'd already determined that there was no other way to get through to him. It hit Horus's weakness squarely and Joker collapsed to the ground. It was all over.
Goro knelt next to Ren. He pulled off his clawed gloves and mask and tossed them aside, then took off Joker's mask so he could rest a hand gently on Ren's forehead. He summoned Parvati and let her pour healing energy into Ren.
When he had done what he could, he put an arm under Ren's shoulders and scooped him up, letting Ren's head rest against his shoulder. Ren's eyes fluttered and he looked up at Goro.
Lowering his voice to barely above a whisper, Goro said into Ren's ear, "You didn't stand a chance by yourself."
Ren's eyes closed again. "I know." His voice cracked with exhaustion. "Well, you did it. Are you happy now?"
A smirk tugged at the corners of Goro's mouth. "It's no small potatoes," he said.
Ren laughed — not much more than a dry chuckle, but it was something. Goro kissed him, feeling Ren's smile against his own lips. I came so close to losing him….
Ren reached up and brushed a tear off Goro's cheek. "Hey, you won. You're not supposed to cry," he teased.
"You idiot. Way to ruin the moment." Goro laughed and wiped the tears away.
Ren sat up and was immediately glommed onto by Takamaki, who almost knocked him over again.
"We're taking you home for real, Ren-kun," Takamaki said, helping him stand.
"Whatever is happening, we've resolved to get to the bottom of it. So please don't take it all on yourself," said Togo.
Ren nodded. "Okay…I…I don't know what will happen to this place without me, but you're right. I can't hold the whole world up by myself. Thanks for helping me see it, all of you."
"We've got a car, so we can go straight back to Tokyo," said Goro, nodding at Maruki.
"We should find out what happened with the press conference. Makoto and the others might have some news for us," added Sae.
"Shido's press conference?" said Ren. "I'm sure it'll be on every TV in the town. I've been hearing about it nonstop for days."
Goro touched his arm. "Listen, about Shido…."
Ren placed his hand on Goro's. "Wait. I'm sorry I accused you of working for him again. You hear the same things over and over again, it's hard not to believe them on some level."
"What are they saying about Shido?" asked Sae.
Ren sighed. "That he was secretly sworn in as Prime Minister and is running the country from prison. That Akechi disappeared because he's doing some kind of secret operation for him. People also think Shido has control of the mobs that are causing the mental shutdowns, but he also allows his most devoted followers to vote on who's next."
"They vote on the app, I suppose? Very democratic," said Goro, rolling his eyes. "Shido would never give power like that to the common rabble. Besides, why would he fund the Mental Shutdown Ward to care for people he ordered his mob to kill?"
Ren shrugged. "Nobody knows about the ward, so it's not part of the conspiracy. Oh, that reminds me — remember how we tried to track down Myojo? He's not real."
"But we've seen him now, on every channel here in Souzencho," said Sae.
"Plus, doesn't he post online? I read that he uses a digital signature to prove it's only one person," added Suzui.
"That only proves the postings come from one device. And it doesn't prove anything about whether the person claiming to be Myojo on TV has anything to do with the postings on the Internet," Goro pointed out.
Ren nodded. "Exactly. One device, but at least two people, according to a linguist at the University of Tsukuba. And like you said, who knows if the TV guy has anything to do with it, or if he's just a crackpot."
"Then…Myojo could be in two places at the same time," said Sae worriedly.
"He could be everywhere at the same time," said Ren. "We should get back to Tokyo and see what else we can find out. Let me pack a few things and we can go, OK?" He looked down at his clothes, then at the others, and added, "Why are we all still wearing our Metaverse outfits, anyway?"
"Myojo, fake? A crackpot? Two places at once? My children, cast your doubts aside and step into the starlight! I am me, and here I am!"
Appearing from nowhere, just suddenly there with no warning or fanfare, was perhaps the most handsome man Goro had ever seen. He had carefully combed black hair in a short cut, perfectly clear skin, and eyes the delicate reddish-brown of black tea. A well-tailored suit hung on a slim build that was heavier around the chest and shoulders, suggesting that he was stronger than he looked. The suit, Goro noticed, was slightly dated, as if he'd walked off a red carpet several decades ago. But overall, he had the kind of timelessly elegant good looks that mothers wanted for their sons (and husbands).
There could be no doubt — this was the man called Myojo that they'd all seen on the TVs in Souzencho. Goro looked over at Ren and was surprised to see that he looked terrified. He wasn't aware of anything that scared Ren, certainly not some pretty guy in a suit blabbering about the stars.
"I have to thank you for removing this pesky obstacle," said Myojo, stepping pointedly over the threshold of the door. "I certainly couldn't have done it on my own. What's that they say? Teamwork makes the dream work?"
"That's great. It'll be much easier to take you out this way," Ren growled. His clenched hands bobbed a little in anticipation.
Myojo didn't respond to the taunt. He made no sign that he'd heard anything, unhurriedly turning his beautiful face toward Goro.
His gaze made Goro's skin crawl, though he couldn't say exactly why. There was something profoundly wrong about it. He had fleeting impressions of things crawling under the tea-colored eyes, joints put together incorrectly, chunks of the body vanishing and reappearing continuously. Yet when he focused, all he could see was a good-looking but otherwise unremarkable man.
Ren took a slash at Myojo with his dagger. But instead of parrying or countering or dodging or any of the normal things people did when attacked, Myojo did nothing. He didn't even turn to look at Ren, keeping his unsettling gaze on Goro.
Yet, although Myojo made no move, Ren was instantly back where he'd started, in the blink of an eye — though Goro was sure he hadn't blinked. It was as though time itself had taken a step backward.
Myojo turned away from Goro to look at Ren, and Goro had a chilly feeling, like when a cloud passes over the sun.
"Do you believe in democracy?" asked Myojo.
"Huh?" said Ren. Not the most elegant answer, but it was what they were all thinking.
"Democracy. Government of the people. A state ruled by no sovereign."
"Yeah…of course," said Ren cautiously.
"Ah! Then why, I must ask, would you take that sovereign power out of the hands of the people and keep it for yourself?"
"I didn't do that!" Ren protested.
Myojo pursed his lips. "No-no-no, I believe you did. You've been holding this town hostage to your own whims, maintaining your own ideal rather than allowing the people to do as they will. Quite un-democratic. Anti-freedom. And so as and such like."
Ren scowled. "I had to do something. People can't live like — like that." He waved at the window, but didn't elaborate. "I don't know what your scheme is, but you won't get away with it!"
"Behold the hero in his own mind! Like a modern-day Don Quixote, present him with a windmill and he'll defeat a dastardly giant," said Myojo, smiling with delight and malice equally.
"What is going on outside?" asked Sae. She tried to peer out the window, but it had gone opaque. In fact, as Goro looked closer, it seemed what used to be a window was now a painting of a window. His heart skipped a beat as he realized the same thing had happened to the door.
Second by second, even as he watched, every inanimate object in the room was losing its mass, turning into nothing more than a drawing — albeit photorealistic drawings. But then the paint started to run, first a few drops and then everything around them seemed to be melting.
"Stop," said Ren, clutching at his head. "Stop!"
Myojo's smile widened until it seemed to split the width of his whole face. The charming eyes were like knife slashes across his brow. Laughter seemed to emanate from his frozen face.
The runny paint finished dripping onto the floor, revealing a whole new set of items. This room looked like it belonged to a young boy. The double bed was covered in superhero sheets, there was a hamper shaped like Godzilla, an elementary school uniform hung neatly on the door, and a small randoseru backpack sat next to a desk by the window.
The desk and the bed were still in Ren's room, Goro realized, though the superhero sheets were gone and the crayons replaced with mechanical pencils. This must be how Ren's room looked when he was younger, perhaps seven or eight years old.
"This isn't who I am anymore!" Ren shouted furiously.
"So sorry," purred Myojo. "You've been outvoted, two to one. But if you'd truly rather…."
Myojo was at Ren's side in less than an instant, a sword in his hand. Myojo plunged it into Ren's chest, leaning on it to push it in further. He left it stuck there and stood back to admire his handiwork.
"It looks good there," said Myojo thoughtfully, as if he were commenting on the placement of a painting on the wall.
Not bothering to argue, Goro yanked the sword out of Ren's chest, at the same time summoning Parvati to heal the wound.
Myojo was standing right over his shoulder, watching. He took a step back and squinted at Goro critically. "Hmm…no, I don't like it. Predictable. Boring. Zero stars."
He picked up the sword and it split into seven identical copies, like a piece of paper opening to reveal a chain of paper dolls.
"Wait —" Goro began, but Myojo wasn't waiting for a discussion. The swords impaled everyone in the room, including Goro, stabbing each of them straight through the middle.
For a second, nothing happened. Then, as if time had stopped momentarily and then resumed, the swords withdrew themselves. Blood started pouring from the wounds, and they all collapsed.
"There. Didn't see that coming, did you? That's drama!" Myojo dusted off his hands and nodded with satisfaction. He sauntered over to Ren's desk, picked up a marker, and said, "Now that you're unencumbered, you can find me at this location. Be sure to bring your best justice! I like it when you justice."
He scrawled a note on the desk, set the desk on fire, and vanished into thin air.
Author's note: For those who played P5R after the infamous "small potatoes" line was patched out, there's a good summary at TheGamer: persona-5-royal-hidden-meaning-joker-akechi-small-potatoes-dialogue-love. Changing Joker's line from "this isn't small potatoes" to "your life isn't trivial" doesn't change the sentiment, and I'd argue that it also doesn't make the line any less romantic than the Tumblr interpretation. Joker doesn't joke about Akechi's life, okay! But the original line is one of those quirky artifacts of translation that make a text (and character) memorable, so I wanted to call back to it.