Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto of Yu Yu Hakusho. Seriously if I did I would have been rich and bought Bleach...a sad day it was to learn that the anime was cancelled.
"Is he secure?" Hiruzen Sarutobi asked the head of the torture and interrogation force.
Looking back at his leader, Ibiki Morino a towering bear of a man wearing a grey jumpsuit with a high collared black trench coat, along with a black bandanna that displayed his hitai-ate. He brought is beefy right hand to scratch the two distinguishing scars on his chiseled and regal face before responding. "Prisoner KJ three zero zero nine is secured Lord Hokage."
Nodding at one of his most loyal shinobi, Sarutobi looked through the one sided window to see Naruto sitting in one of the many interrogation rooms. He was encased within a large stone crescent moon shaped device that drained his chakra. Where underneath it he was stripped of his original outfit and was forced to wear a dark gray prison jumpsuit; both his hands, wrists, ankles and even his neck were bound by thick chains that were tightly secured to the floor, which were uniquely designed to fit within the device. And behind his head was another curved stone with three unique seals meant for three individual people to use.
"Hokage-sama, it may not my place to ask. But why do we have the Kyuubi jinchuriki in one of my interrogation cells?" Ibiki questioned the elderly Kage, while observing the former blond's scarred face that almost rivaled his own.
"Naruto Uzumaki is being held for filing a false report, and conspiracy." The Sandaime responded with narrowed eyes.
"I would never imagine that he of all people would be in here." A voice piped up behind the two men.
What greeted the two was a woman with dazzling lavender hair tied that spiked up into an exotic, comb-like pattern in the back while the rest of it cascaded down the sides of her face to end slightly below her jaw with her Leaf hitai-ate tied securely to her forehead. Her skin was flawless, and radiated with perfection. She wore little to no clothing at all; instead she wore nothing but a single transparent chain mail bodysuit covering her naked and sexy figure. She wore a tan trench coat that barely covered her breasts, where a snake fang hung around her neck by a thick cord, a dark orange skirt that barely defied the word mini. Below that, her shins were covered up by hazy white shin guards, and navy blue shinobi sandals.
"Anko, how nice of you to join us." Ibiki's cool voice greeted his subordinate.
"Same to you, you old grizzly bear." Anko greeted her boss with a happy wave, but then directing her attention to the Hokage the playful look on her face disappeared. "Now, Hokage-sama the brat is in for those two crimes. Isn't that room a little excessive? It was built for Jounin-level prisoners after all."
"I rather it be overkill for a Genin of his condition, rather than risk of him escaping."
"What do you mean by that? Is the furry bastard inside him influencing his actions?" Anko demanded.
"Or do you think Iwagakure turned him into a sleeper agent?" Ibiki suggested.
"Kami only knows." Sarutobi sighed out.
"Well Blondie, you sure got yourself into deep shit this time." Ishikawa bordly commented within Naruto's head.
'No shit Ishikawa, this is like a kick to the nuts. One minute I'm thanking Haku and the others for watching the kits, and then I find myself bound, stripped butt-ass naked, sprayed down with a damn high-powered water jutsu, got my fingernails clipped, thrown into this prison jumpsuit, then chained down onto the floor and encased in a chakra draining device.' Naruto bitterly retorted.
"This is not unexpected ningen. The bearded monkey has clearly figured out your ruse." Jagan bluntly said.
'Well this is bad, isn't it?' Naruto calmly replied to the sentient eyeball, a little too calmly for Ishikawa's opinion.
"Bad! Dammit Blondie, the freaking Hokage had you bound and chained. And right outside is the infamous Ibiki Morino who will skull fuck you until he gets what he wants, a smoking hot chick that looks like she could castrate you with her nails, and no doubt a freaking Yamanaka will come to probe your brain." But feeling the former full blond shrug at the mere thought, the deceased Kamizuru blinked in surprise, but then a grin came to his face. "Okay, what's the plan?"
Before Naruto could reply the door to the room opened. 'Ask Jagan, he'll fill you in.' Naruto replied before giving his full attention to the four people walking into the room. The first was the Hokage himself, the second was a scarred scary-looking man, the third was an attractive woman, and finally the fourth was Inoichi Yamanaka himself. "Well looks like the Hokage himself has come to interrogate me, I must say it's an honor." He sarcastically said to him.
"Even in chains you are still disrespectful." Sarutobi brushed his words away in response. "Now, Naruto do you even know why you're here?"
"No, now where's my freaking stuff?"
Ibiki answered in the Hokage's stead. "Relax Uzumaki, whatever equipment you had coming in is in a secure and safe location."
"They better not touch my freaking sword." Naruto warned the group.
"I'm sure they won't." the Hokage promised him.
In the Anbu storage room that was neatly stocked with confiscated equipment ranging from kunai, flack-vests and hitai-ate's from almost every major village to a few minor ones as well, and even a zanbatou here and there. But the newest additions baffled the rookie members of the Anbu force, and some of the senior members were scratching their heads in confusion.
"Now where in the nine levels of hell did the brat get this thing?" A hawk-masked Anbu member asked, holding in his hands the hannya mask that haunted his, among a few other veterans' dreams. "The reports say that Iwagakure managed to produce ten berserkers during the war, and once one of those bastards were taken down their masks blew them and everyone within one-hundred feet of them to the afterlife."
"Hell if I know boss." A snake-masked member replied. "But what they say about Uzumaki is true; he has defied the odds before, and will continue to do so again, and again."
"But the question now lies with his loyalty." A bear-masked member said. "He's here under conspiracy and falsifying a report. Ibiki himself thinks that he's a sleeper agent or something like that, now Anko, Inoichi, and Lord Hokage himself are going to find out his loyalties one way or the other."
"I honestly hope they find him guilty, it would be nice to see the demon hang." A pig-masked rookie Anbu member butted in while twirling Handanryoku by the hilt in his right hand.
"I agree." An elephant-masked, rookie member agreed with his colleague as he observed the bracers. "For too long that little menace has tortured us with his evil stench. And now that he has slipped up, Lord Hokage will have no choice but to put him down."
"Watch what you say you little bastards!" the snake-masked Anbu member hissed at the rookies. "You both may be new, but that is no excuse for badmouthing one of Konoha's heroes! Now put that stuff back where you found it." Looking at Taka (Hawk) as he said this, the man nodded and placed the hannya mask back on the mask rack that contained several Hunter ninja masks from Kirigakure.
Scoffing in response the pig-masked member unsheathed the katana and gave it a few practice swings. "That won't matter Hebi (Snake), soon the demon will die. And this magnificent sword shall be mi-" The rookie didn't even get a chance to finish when his right hand; his dominant and sword hand, exploded into a shower of bone and cartilage. He stood stark still for ten seconds, looking at his new stump, and the extremely sharp bloody blades protruding from the hilt of the sword, and then back again he let out a horrified scream of agony.
His scream soon caused a small chain reaction, it startled the elephant masked rookie; causing him to accidentally slip his thumb over the trigger device within the gauntlet. And because he was practically looking over the slot that held the hidden blade, he met his end when the blade shot out with a soft click, piercing through his left eye and lodging itself into his brain.
That caused the bear-masked member to jump back in surprise, and accidentally knocked into one of the shelves containing various types of weapons. The weight of his muscular body caused it to rock back, then caused the gigantic zanbato; Zabuza's to be exact, to fall on Taka. Luckily for him the flat of the blade landed squarely on his right foot, causing him to scream and clutch it while hopping up and down. Normally this would have been an amusing scene, but he unfortunately slammed into the wall, causing the right side of the shelf to snap off, resulting in an iron box with shuriken locked within it to fall on his head, then an iron helmet, another iron box, an anchor, and finally what looked to be loose change. Little to say, he was completely knocked unconscious with an animated lump on the top of his head.
Once the chaos was done and over with the two unharmed shinobi quickly burst into action. The bear-masked Anbu member immediately went get a medic, while Hebi stopped the pig-masked rookie from bleeding out. "Dammit all to hell, how am I going to explain this mess?" He griped to himself before looking over at the bloody sword, and watched the spikes that took the rookies hand snap back into the hilt.
He was definitely not going to touch anything in that room ever again.
Back in the room the interrogation wasn't going as well as the Hokage had hoped. Whatever question he asked was met with a wall of sarcasm, when he gave up Ibiki was the one who stepped in; so far it wasn't bearing any fruit.
"Uzumaki, I recommend that you tell us information we wish to know. I do not want to sic Anko on you." The scarred man said to him.
"And I'm telling you this Scarface; I don't know what you're talking about." Naruto calmly replied.
"Come on Ibiki lemme at him. I'll get some information out of his wither he likes it or not." Anko complained to her boss, and cracking her knuckles in emphasis to her favorite way of getting what she wanted.
"I took several hundred beating within this village alone and an extra hundred when Iwa took my body. I'm sorry miss interrogator, but any kind of pain you inflict on me would be useless."
"A cocky little brat aren't you?" The lavender-haired kunochi said. Slamming her hands onto the table, she stared straight at his face, and gave him her most intimidating glare that made many grown men wet themselves in fear. But Naruto, he just gave her a bored look; exactly like the one he gave Iruka in math class. "For Kami's sake, this kid is cool as ice."
"I try to please miss interrogator." Naruto gave her a cocky smile, which just seemed to irritate her.
"Quit trying to butter me up brat! We're trying to interrogate you."
"Well it's a little hard not to give you a complement miss interrogator, after all you haven't chained me up, sicced the Anbu to arrest me, or have orders to fly into my head should all else fail." The blond replied as he glared at the three men within the room.
Slamming his hand onto the table, the Sandaime Hokage stood to his feet, and peered into his surrogate grandson's blue eyes. "I know you are, and have been lying to me Naruto. And I'm ashamed of you for becoming a hypocrite."
"I haven't been lying."
"Do not give me that boy." Sarutobi glared at him. "You submitted a false report that would have brought us to war with Iwa once again. But most importantly, you can't be trusted. There is a month in your life that is completely unaccounted for where you've changed from a bright and happy boy, to this…emotionless assassin with skills he shouldn't even possess."
In response to the old man's shoddy reasoning, Naruto gave him the dullest stare imaginable. "Really, that is the main reason I'm here, because I can't be trusted and having an assortment of skills that I shouldn't even have? Old man, it is a ninja's duty to become stronger to protect his village, if that's a crime then I'm clearly guilty."
"Hokage-sama," Inoichi spoke up for the first time since the interrogation began. "I believe this is as far as we can go without actually using extreme physical measures on him. It's time we enter his mind and find out what we need to know."
"I would disregard that action mister Yamanaka." Naruto said in a surprising respectful tone. "Other than your daughter, I hold a decent amount of respect for your clan, and what they have done to protect the village for fifteen generations. But I warn you that if you dive into my mind you, and anyone else that accompanies you will regret it."
"We will take the risks Naruto." Hiruzen authority responded. "Inoichi, begin the process, Ibiki please call in Tonbo Tobitake, Mozuku and Shimon Hijiri."
Silently nodding at the command, both elite Jounin started their process for Inochi's Mind Reading Technique. As the Yamanaka placed his right hand on Naruto's forehead, and placed his left hand onto the Hokage's forehead to transfer their spirits into the young jinchuriki's mind, three Chuunin-level shinobi appeared behind the curved stone, gathered their chakra to their hands and placed their hands onto the seals.
"I'm sorry to do this Naruto, but we need to find out the truth." Inoichi apologized.
"Just be prepared for what you're about to see." Naruto warned him, and then shutting his eyes the mind probing began.
When both Inoichi and Hiruzen opened their eyes, both were surprised to see that Naruto's mind resembled a prison. Inoichi was especially surprised, since from his years of looking into other people's minds he expected the Genin to have something acute to a sewer instead of a prison.
"This is quite unexpected." He commented.
"Indeed." Saurtobi agreed as he surveyed the surrounding area. "Tell me Inoichi, what we should expect within Naruto's mind."
His eyes peering down the straight hallway, the Yamanaka proceed to walk down the single corridor with caution. "Honestly I'm unsure about this one, Hokage-sama." Inochi admitted. "Naruto…he is a complex individual, while his mindscape appears to be simply designed it could be an elaborate hoax to throw us off."
Nodding in agreement Sarutobi followed the experienced mind walker down the long hallway. The found nothing for several long minutes, at least until the elderly Kage silently went over to what looked to be a blue door. "Inoichi, I may be a little rusty, but do the blue doors symbolize sad memories?"
"I'm afraid not. The blue doors symbolize a happy memory. Here let me show you." The Special Jonin responded by opening the door, and were greeted with the memory of a young Naruto eating his first bowl of ramen. After shutting the door the Yamanaka went over a red door. "This however is a bad memory."
Repressing a sigh the Sandaime turned his head to see that there were more red doors than blue ones. But to his surprise there were a few gray ones and four pink ones as well. "What about the ones over there?" He pointed them out.
"The gray ones are memories that he forgot about, or repressed for one reason or another. And the pink ones…well I personally like to call them 'interests'." When Inoichi saw his leader raise an eyebrow, he clarified what he meant. "Bluntly, my Lord, they are potential love interests."
"Are they now? Now this is something I have to see." With his curiosity peaked, The Professor went to open one of them. When he firmly clasped his hand on the doorknob, the entire floor underneath the two shinobi literally disappeared underneath their feet, and plummeted down into the darkness.
It took a few minutes for the two high-level shinobi to reach the bottom. Normally a fall like that would have ejected them from Naruto's mindscape, but he wanted to personally confront them on his questionable loyalty. The two heard the snap of someone's fingers and the entire area was bathed in bright light.
"Well, well, well, you two actually did it." Naruto greeted them. Opening their eyes the two shinobi saw that he was still in his prison garbs, but was sitting in what looked like a very comfortable chair with a pure oak desk in front of him, and absolute darkness behind him. "Please take a seat…we have much to discuss."
"We have nothing to discuss Naruto." Sarutobi responded as two wooden chairs materialized in front of the desk.
"I'm sorry Naruto, but we are not going to stop until we find what we came here for. Please make this easy on all of us, and come out with the truth." Inoichi said.
"And I fully plan on doing that. Listen we're all busy people, so let's just stop beating around the bush. Go ahead, start asking me questions, and I'll honestly answer anything you ask." The black-streaked blond replied.
"What exactly has happened to you? What happened to the smiling boy who kept shouting how he was going to be Hokage someday?"
"That dream has not died old man, which is one thing that has not changed about me." Naruto calmly answered. "But, the reason I'm like this is quite simple. After all death can change a person's views on life."
"Still claiming that you came back from death itself, Naruto this was not amusing the first time."
"And it wasn't pleasant when Kakashi drove his ultimate assassination technique through my chest." Naruto bitterly retorted as he unbuttoned the top of his prison jumpsuit, and revealed the wound he received on the Wave mission. "Now I'm no expert, but a lightening covered arm through the heart is supposed to kill a man."
Not missing his opportunity to try and poke his logic full of holes, Sarutobi countered Naruto's story with his own. "Then how do you explain the month long absence. From the rest of Team Seven's and Zabuza's testimony, the room your 'body' was in was covered in gore when your 'body' exploded. Now how can you explain that?"
"That is something I cannot fully explain, because even I don't exactly understand how that happened. But I believe I was…reborn, and my sheer awesomeness blew my crappy old self to pieces."
'That is probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard.' Inoichi thought to himself. But despite himself, he opened his mouth to ask his question. "Then what happened? The reports say that after an entire month to recover and finish the bridge, Team Seven and company spotted you on top of the sign named after you, and dressed in Stone clothing to boot. Where were you, and how did you get those clothes?"
"That is unfortunately something I can easily answer." Naruto replied in a remorseful voice that honestly surprised both Inoichi and the Hokage. "After I came back to life, I ran away, and I didn't stop until what I believe was fifty miles away from Tazuna's home, and I trained. I trained for two weeks until I came across these two Missing shinobi standing over a slaughtered fox family. And long story short, I engaged them both in a long grueling battle, and came out on top in the end."
"I find this extremely hard to believe Naruto." Hiruzen voiced out his displeasure at the pure lie; to him at least, his surrogate grandson was telling him. "But since you seem to have all the answers, I guess you can explain how you came to possess the knowledge to perform a vast collection of earth style ninjutsu."
"I believe I can help with that." A laid-back voice alerted them. Turning around the two mind invaders saw a nineteen year old teenager; with shaggy neck-length brown hair, bored brown eyes, and was above average in physical fitness. He wore black cargo pants, black sandals, a black long sleeved shirt that was missing its right sleeve, and Chunin flack-vest. Giving the Leaf ninja a dull smile and wave he introduced himself. "Hello Leaf shinobi, I am Ishikawa Kamizuru; The Killer Hornet of Iwagakure. It's a pleasure to meet the both of you."
The reaction to Ishikawa's presence went as anticipated. Both Sarutobi and Inoichi went on red alert and withdrew two kunai from their holsters, and immediately went onto the defensive. "Naruto, what is the meaning of this!" The Hokage demanded.
"Oh my where are my manners? Mister Yamanaka, Lord Hokage, I would like you to meet IshikawaKamizuru. He's the one who mutilated my face, I killed him, and now he's a ghost whose mission is to help me with my role in this world." Naruto introduced his resident ghost, with his voice absolutely dripping with dry sarcasm. "We're cool though."
"You have a ghost in your head. A ghost of a Stone shinobi of the nearly extinct Kamizuru Clan, Naruto do you realize how unbelievable this is!" Inoichi bellowed at the black-streaked blond.
"You see him with your own eyes mister Yamanaka, but please put your kunai away. I don't think he can harm you with being dead and all."
"Indeed I can't, ghosts cannot mold chakra. But gentlemen please, let's put the weapons down before this becomes too troublesome for all of us." The deceased Kamizuru yawned out, which disturbingly reminded the Leaf shinobi of the male Nara Clan members.
"How do we know that we can even trust you?" The Hokage carefully asked.
Palming his face in response and muttering about paranoid old people. Ishikawa slowly raised his right hand and placed it above his heart. "For what it's even worth to you people, I promise that I will not deceive you…nor anything else that I can think of at this time. Seriously what the hell can I do to your paranoid idiots?"
"Ishikawa, please don't insult my interrogators. Now tell them how I came to learn a good amount of earth ninjutsu." Naruto drawled out.
"Yea, yea, yea, keep your pants on Blondie." Ishikawa bordly replied as he stuck his right pinky finger in his ear. "Now I'm not gonna beat around the bush. After Blondie here killed me, he went all Hunter ninja on me, or Anbu or whatever you want to call a Black Ops force. Using only a kunai he dissected my and Muka's corpses, and after rummaging through our guts he learned our ninjutsu techniques. From me, he learned…uhh I think twelve of my various ninjutsu techniques, and from that jackass Muka; he learned only two water ninjutsu and that umbrella ninjutsu thing."
"Well, there you go. You heard it from the lazy asses' mouth."
"Fuck you too Blondie."
"Wait, wait, wait! Naruto how did you even know how to do that? But most importantly…" Hiruzen brought his attention to Ishikawa, "…how do you know two of my jutsus?"
"Huh? Uhh sorry but you'll have to be more specific old dude, because I know a lot about earth ninjutsu."
"I'm talking about my Earth Dragon Bomb, and my Great Mud River techniques."
"Wait a freaking second! Is that the main reason why I'm here? Over two stupid ninjutsu techniques!" Naruto angrily bellowed out.
"Shaddap Blondie, if you continue on yelling it'll just be a bigger hole for your grave…or something like that." Ishikawa barked at his killer before glaring at the Sandaime Hokage. "And you…how dare you even claim those techniques as your own. Those two particular ninjutsu were created and mastered by a multitude of hard working Stone shinobi born before me. Now I may be dead, but I'll be damned that I'll have you of all people boasting that you created hose two techniques."
"And you're just digging my grave faster." Naruto drawled at the ghost.
"I think I've seen what I wanted to see Naruto." Hiruzen announced, which caused the two to turn their heads towards him. "And it is with a heavy heart that I must announce that you're too large a threat. And that I must seal up your memories and new-found abilities, until I've deemed that you're mature enough-"Before he could continue, let alone go through with his decision, a black beam shot out of the darkness behind Naruto and impacted between the Hokage, and Inoichi.
"I can't let you do that, you hairless ape." A dark, eerie voice echoed within the room. Almost robotically Naruto smiled, and snapped his fingers. The darkness behind him faded to reveal, to the elder shinobi's horror, Kyuubi's cage. Even though the great fox glaring at them with his crimson eyes nearly made their hearts stop, it didn't compare to the mass of black tentacles gripping on the cage and an otherworldly crimson eye glaring down at them.
"W-wh-at in K-ami's na-me?" Inoichi barely managed to stutter out in shock and horror.
"Mister Yamanaka, Hokage-sama. I would like you to meet my Jagan Eye, but I call him Jagan for short." Naruto introduced his two superiors to the demonic eyeball within his mind, while casually having his third eye open himself up on his forehead; much to Inoichi's disgust.
"Haha look at his face, nice one dude!" Ishikawa laughed at the green faced Yamanaka.
"Pfft, you idiotic ningens will do anything for a laugh." Kyuubi's malicious voice echoed within their ears. "Hurry and be done with this senseless jabber, I want to go back to sleep."
"All you do is sleep you giant furball. What are you a cat?"
"Do not compare me to the Nibi you ignorant whelp!"
"Who said I was comparing you to the Two-Tails!" Naruto barked at the giant fox.
This lead into a shouting match between both bijuu and jinchuriki, leaving both Sarutobi and Inoichi to stare dumbfounded at them; especially when Ishikawa was dragged in with them. If anyone asked them yesterday what they would have expected during Naruto's interrogation, both of them would have expected for him to cave within the first ten or twenty minutes. But instead they both found out that he held not one, not two, but three beings inside him, and he was comfortable with it! And sane to boot! It would simply be unbelievable…if it wasn't Naruto, the boy who defied logic itself.
Eventually the arguing turned into roughhousing. For whatever reason Ishikawa grabbed Naruto by the neck and began to comically wrangle him like a cartoon character, only for the black-streaked blond he kick him in the stones, and soon they both fell to the floor trying to strangle each other. That action caused the two Leaf shinobi to sweat-drop in realization that maybe sane was pushing it.
"Naruto." Sarutobi cleared his throat in order to get their attention. "I believe that you still need to answer out questions."
Pushing the brown-haired Stone Chunin off him, Naruto brushed the imaginary dirt off him, and retook his seat. "Yea I haven't forgotten. Lemme guess, the next question is why I have an eyeball embedded inside my forehead." When they both nodded, Naruto sighed out in what appeared to be exhaustion. "Very well, but I doubt you will believe me."
"Try us." Inoichi challenged.
"Fine. When I died, I was brought back to life by the Shinigami himself to become his Avatar of Death…and for my life I must kill three others, plus any others he wants dead in exchange for it. And Jagan here is a tool that he gifted me to help me do it." Naruto sheepishly replied, which caused the three occupants within his mind to sweat-drop at his bluntness.
"…Words cannot describe the nonsense I just heard." Sarutobi replied in a deadpanned voice.
"It's unfortunately true you old monkey. Shinigami-sama told me that if I steer this little dude in the right direction, and do…something else, I get to go to the rightful place that ain't hot and damning." Ishikawa spoke up on Naruto's behalf while sticking his pinky fingers in his ear.
Taking the insult in stride (for now), the Sandaime sighed in frustration; which Inoichi mirrored as well. Things were definitely getting out of hand, what they both expected was a simple mind probe with the possibility of either erasing or suppressing whatever influence on him turned into an absolute nightmare. Not only did they learn that he had a ghost haunting him, but that he resided inside him along with a demonic eye.
"Say we do believe you." Inoichi said to get their attention. "And I'm not saying we do what exactly you expect to happen next? That we forgive you for lying and let you off scot-free? I think not Naruto."
"You are right, I don't expect to get off scot-free, and I fully expect to be punished." Naruto replied a little too calmly for their tastes. "And for that I wish to enter a plea bargain, trust me they will be worthwhile to the village and reasonable, I assure you."
"What exactly do you have to offer us, especially when we hold all the cards?" Sarutobi clasped his hands in front of his face.
"Well as long as you keep the end of our bargain, no harm will come to anyone in the Leaf unless it's in self-defense, and I will happily share any and all information about Iwa's berserker research and whatever you want on Rain."
"And I can verify what you want to know. I may not have been high up on the hierarchy, but I have heard whispers of them starting up their research once again, and my summons reporting to me one of the locations within my former home."
"How do I know that I can trust you, you have lied to me before like a hypocrite." Sarutobi emphasized the last word, and he saw Naruto's eyes slightly twitch in response.
"Consider us even for you lying to me for nearly thirteen years." Naruto growled in response.
After several seconds of silence the old Hokage sighed out loudly. "I cannot do that Naruto. What I see is nothing more than insanity at work. You're unstable; in fact I see this as nothing but an elaborate mind game created by you and the Nine-Tailed Fox. I won't negotiate with you, and I have a good mind to contact Water Country and send Zabuza and his companions back for immediate execution."
"You can't do that!" Naruto slammed his fists onto the desk in a rare show of fury since they entered his mind. Gone was his cool and calculating persona, and in his place was the angry Genin that Kakashi described during that bandit massacre.
"I can Naruto. While I may not like the Mizukage, I'm not above sending deserved criminals to their deaths."
"And yet you showed that bitch of a Matron neglect me to the point of starvation, and those who actually tried to kill me on my birthday mercy. They should have been jailed or executed, but I see them walking free and smiling at me; knowing that there was nothing I could do about it. Tell me old man where is the justice in that!"
"Those were civilians, and they were tried and convicted in a civilian court. It was out of Hokage-sama's hands Naruto." Inoichi reluctantly defended what happened to the civilians.
"Oh sure, let the bigots decide the so-called "heroes" fates for abusing an innocent child. I'm sorry mister Yamanaka, but I'm not naive enough to not notice the deep corruption within the Civilian Council."
"Watch your tone boy. I will not have you bad mouth the people on the council." Hiruzen warned him.
"Open your eyes old man." Naruto seethed angrily. "Don't you see that they are rotting this village from the inside out? Did you ever in your life think that something was seriously wrong during the times you've signed those papers? Have you even checked the village's finances, what exactly are they going towards? Tell me that!"
"That is enough Naruto! I have heard what I wanted, and I have determined that you are untrustworthy, a liar and traitor to the Leaf. It's with a heavy heart that your chakra will be sealed off, your memories erased, that eye if it even exists torn out and you will be sent to the Konoha Strict correctional Facility."
"That's bullshit man! If I were alive I would kill you for this you shitty old man!" Ishikawa exploded in a rare form of fury. "Dammit Shinigami, turn this stupid transparent form of mine solid for one minute, I wanna leave my mark on this monkey prick!"
"You dare threaten me!" Jagan roared as the pupil of his gigantic eye glowed with unholy black energy. "I may not like this whelp, but he provided me his very own body so that I may live in this world. Now I will return the favor so that I may go on living!"
"Despicable whelps, you dare threaten me! " Kyuubi maliciously growled at the two shinobi. "I will not be further sealed away because of my container. I will kill you all before that happens!" And before anyone could react his foul red chakra flooded out of his cage.
But before either party could even attack each other, everyone was suddenly weighed down by an extreme force. It smothered them, made their breath fall short, their spines tingle, the hair stand on the back of their necks, and the insane feeling of death coursing through their entire beings. Then descending from the dark ceiling was a being larger than Kyuubi himself.
From his purple emancipated skin, to the two horns on his head, showed the two experienced shinobi that this was an otherworldly being. His long bone white hair that flowed down to the giants knees blew from his intense power as well as his baggy white yukata. Opening his mouth pull of sharp dagger-like teeth, he spoke in a voice that would haunt the Leaf shinobi's dreams for the rest of their lives. "To think I was supposed to intervene again within the realm of the living, Naruto you just cannot stay out of trouble." He spoke clearly despite the gigantic dagger held between his teeth.
"Shinigami I apologize for you to intervene, I honestly thought I could handle this." Naruto apologized to the Kami of Death in a familiar tone. "But can you please explain to these two that I'm more or less innocent on their charges, and that what I've been saying is true."
"Please Lord Shinigami. I'm getting pretty tired of hearing this arguing, especially with this old jackass and his lapdog." Ishikawa pleaded.
Sighing loudly for all to hear, Shinigami told both Inoichi and Hiruzen exactly what happened after Naruto died. The Kami of Death explained that he knew that Naruto's death was premature; how he removed a suppressing seal hat stunted his development, him granting the former full blond with his katana, and finally deeming him as his Avatar of Death; where he served him and him alone until their contract was fulfilled; not that he told them of the targets, or the bloodline with Inoichi's presence.
"I…I don't believe this." Sarutobi whispered out in denial.
"And that is why you fail." Shinigami said before looking over to his Avatar. "This is the last time I become involved in humanly matters such as this. Next time cover your tracks better, I expect more from you."
"I promise that nothing more will happen Shinigami, I believe that I got my point across for these two." Naruto replied as the great Deity faded away into the realm of Purgatory. "Now onto you two. I believe we have a little deal to discuss."
"Naruto…I," Sarutobi tried to find some sort of logic at what just happened. He looked to Inoichi, his eyes begging the man to tell him it was just a mind trick, but the veteran mind walker only shook his head. That was not any type of mind trick; no one could create something like that, and he entered the minds of psychopaths on more than one occasion in his career. So with a defeated sigh the Hokage continued, "What is it you want?"
"I don't want anything big. Despite the bullshit you put me through I want to help you." Naruto replied with pure honesty in his voice. "I will still give you the information about Iwagakure's berserker program, and whatever I can about Amegakure. But in return, I want you to keep the promises made to me. And I implore you to look into the Civilian Council. You need to remind them that they should be involved in civilian matters and not shinobi matters…in fact look closely at your paperwork, because those stacks shouldn't even be that high."
Inoichi raised a blond eyebrow, especially when he mentioned these promises again. Turning his head he saw his leader darting his eyes up and down; a nervous tick that most of the Yamanaka Clan knew about. "My Lord, now I may have no say in this, but this sounds like an offer that you cannot refuse."
"It sounds far too good to be true."
"Dammit quit being stupid, how long have you known the kid! From what I've seen he's okay…for a Leaf shinobi. So give the little guy some credit, damn!" Ishikawa responded to the Hokage's doubts, while not so subtly insulting them all in general.
"I see why he's hesitating; the pitiful ningen has to follow protocol. My container has to go under watch from his Anbu forces like the former Mist shinobi for an undetermined amount of time. And that will take Team Seven off the roster until further notice, plus it will draw attention from that council of his." Jagan announced Sarutobi's nervousness after reading his mind.
"How the hell can you do that? Aren't we already in my mind?" Naruto questioned his sentient eye.
"It's better not to question these things whelp. Just hurry up and get these two out of here so I can sleep." Kyuubi growled out at their lollygagging.
"Fine." Naruto rolled his eyes at his lazy tenant. "All right, I believe I can do something for all of us to come out on top. Simply put, you guys know I'm not a threat, just place me with Zabuza for a week, give Team Seven and Gai a week off, and order those involved in this to stay silent."
"All right Naruto, I will give you a week of confinement with Zabuza. But only on the condition that you have a monthly session with Inoichi, and be honest with me…no more lies from the both of us. Okay?"
"Deal old man, not more lies that is a promise."
"Well now that you're both done with your little pissing contest. Get the hell out of here!" Jagan roared at the two intruders. Unholy purple energy flared within his pupil, he blasted out a shock wave of energy that struck the two Leaf shinobi, and sent them out of Naruto's mindscape.
After they left Ishikawa sighed in relief. "Damn it Blondie that was close. If Shinigami-sama didn't spend a few precious minutes to terrify the crap out of them…you would have been screwed."
"No shit Ishikawa I probably used the rest of my luck for the year." Naruto responded. He was tired, scratch that he was exhausted. If someone told him that he would have to use his acting skills to keep a straight face, while being interrogated by the head of the Yamanaka Clan, and the Hokage himself, he would have laughed. But after what he went through, he definitely wasn't laughing.
"You're not out of the woods yet boy. You still have to visit that mind walker monthly, and I'm not thrilled at having his kind poke around in here." Jagan voiced his opinion on the little deal his container agreed to.
"I know you're not happy about it, but if he tries anything funny I'll let you do whatever you want to him."
"Good to know ningen, now get the hell out of here so I can sleep." Kyuubi growled out before he closed his eyes.
"Yea, yea, later fuzzy." Naruto flipped the giant fox the bird and faded from his mind.
"Damn it woman let me in!" Sasuke bellowed at the old crone.
"I'm sorry Sasuke-chan, but I'm under strict orders to not allow anyone to interfere with the Hokage's orders." The elderly Anbu secretary apologized to the Uchiha.
"You don't understand! My teammate was hauled off for no good reason. Come on Mai, please let me in I need to-"
"That is enough Sasuke-chan." Mai's normally friendly tone turned ice cold. She then took off her thick glasses to reveal narrow cold black eyes. "I'm sorry young one, but this is out of my hands."
"But!"
"It is quite all right Sasuke." An equally elderly voice interrupted Sasuke's useless bantering. Turning his head the Uchiha was surprised to see the Hokage himself step out into the secretarial room. The elderly man smiled. "I am sorry for worrying you."
"It's…it's not a problem Hokage-sama." Sasuke bowed at the leader of the village. "But what exactly is going on. Why did you have my teammate arrested?"
"It was…a mistake on my part." Hiruzen admitted, "I'm not going to lie Sasuke. Naruto was suspected of treason, the evidence was not in his favor, but when Inoichi probed his mind we found nothing that proved him to be a traitor."
"Then he's off the hook right?"
"He's not going off to Konoha's Strict Correctional Facility it that's what you're asking. But he won't be joining you or the team for an entire week."
"Why is this-"
"It's protocol Sasuke." Sarutobi's voice stopped the Genin from continuing. "While Naruto isn't in trouble anymore, he still has to be under watch determining on his current threat level. And since he is a mere Genin, it won't be long until he will be back with the team again."
Sasuke barely held in a smirk, sometimes he forgot why the Hokage was nicknamed 'The Professor'. Granted Hiruzen didn't even think of the plan, but as they say ignorance is bliss, and for Sasuke's sake Hiruzen was going to let him think whatever he wanted to. "Very cleaver Hokage-sama, I just hope that I could at least see him from time to time."
"I'm sure it can be arranged." The old Fire Shadow eyed the secretary, who calmly nodded before she pulled out some paperwork.
"Thank you my lord, I won't hold you up any further." Bowing towards them both the Uchiha wasted no time in leaving.
Nodding at the secretary, Sarutobi bid her a good day and left to do a few more duties around the village.
"Good Kami what a mess." Mai sighed out, "Naruto-chan was wrongly convicted, and while I'm grateful it was smoothed out it could have been worse...political nightmare worse. You have it easy Shika (Deer)-chan, all you have to worry about is your family, a risky mission here and there, and the lack of clouds in the sky."
"You're right about that Captain, and it's just the way I like it." A lazy male voice agreed as he literally emerged out of the small dark corner of the room near the door, revealing a deer mask that obscured his face.
It would be a few hours later until Hiruzen arrived back at his office, and surprise the paperwork piled up again! But this time he was ready, oh he was absolutely ready for the menace that plagued him for half his life. Pulling one of the sheets up to his old, but sharp eyes he scanned each letter of every sentence. He saw that it was a request for a shipment of food for one of the stores, a harmless request, but he looked closer in-between the lines. To his surprise there was also a request for money, a hefty sum of money that should not have been needed for a shop as successful as he personally seen it rise from a stand to a shop.
Setting it to the side Sarutobi picked up the next sheet of paper, this time it was a request for a home expansion…for Councilman Gendo Hikari, one of the village's weapons dealers. Once again he read in-between the lines and saw that it was a demand for him to get a share of Hiroshi Higarashi's profits from his shop; despite that the crippled shinobi was an independent store owner, unlike Gendo's chain of weapon and clothing shops.
He then read a report on how two of his Anbu Black Ops members were injured, one losing his hand and having to be retired because of it. One with a cracked skull, a broken foot, and a concussion; he would recover in a few weeks, but it was an unfortunate to lose him for that period of time. And finally the last one was dead in the storage room of all things. And it was thanks to Naruto's belongings too...man what a pain.
And he continued on for two hours, not even halfway through the gigantic pile Sarutobi was growing furious. He took deep pride at having a calm level head and he could only name five instances when he lost his temper. The first was the loss of his sensei to the Kinkaku Force during The Second Great Shinobi War. The second was when his sensei's sword the Raijin no Ken (Sword of the Thunder God) was stolen by the traitor Aoi Rokusho. The third time was the loss of his wife during Kyuubi's rampage-in secret of course, and he didn't blame Naruto for it either mind you. The fourth time was him bellowing at his son, Asuma for leaving Konoha to pursue his 'personal interests'. And the final time was the complete anger and disgust at himself for failing to stop his favorite student from fleeing the village, and becoming one of the most infamous criminals the village ever produced.
Now this would be the sixth time he would find himself nearly blind with rage. How long has this been going on? How long had his own council been squandering money from the village? Destroying business rivals? Performing more illegal activities than he wanted to admit.
Before he could do anything rash Hiruzen calmly breathed out of his mouth several dozen times. Then he brought his trusty pipe to his mouth, lit it with a small fire jutsu, and inhaled the sweet tobacco that calmed his nerves. "I'm going to get them this, no one fucks with Hiruzen Sarutobi and gets away with it." He promised as smoke erupted from his nostrils like an angry bull.
"So are we not going to talk about what the hell happened to the brat?" Meizu asked Zabuza.
"Big trouble. That's all I know." The Demon of the Mist answered with a shrug as he laid down of their new couch.
"Then why are we in this new place? Not that I'm complaining of course." Gozu questioned while he sat at the dinner table, trying and failing to hide his revulsion at the food the Anbu guys gave them.
And he was kind of right, the new building they were in was larger than the one they were cramped in. It had more space, better furniture, rooms that they all could have for themselves plus an extra one. That kinda confused them, but they (the men) easily passed it off for the fox kits using it as their den until the Uchiha brat came back for them.
Before Haku could tell them that they were wrong, again, several loud knocks caused her to cease those thoughts and went to answer it. Opening the door she reeled back in surprise seeing a heavily scarred male wearing gray sweat pants and a white t-shirt standing right in front of her. But then catching her breath the ice-user saw familiar blond hair with several black streaks in it, and blue eyes staring right at her.
"Hey Haku-chan looks like we're roomies." Naruto happily greeted her.
Armageddon: Hey guys I'm sorry to say that there won't be any shenanigans like I always do after every chapter...for this chapter. I know you're pissed at me for neglecting everything and so am I. But with moving, nearly losing one of my fingers, more hours at my job and Mass Effect 3. Well I'm late and I apologize, I wish you guys a Happy Saint Patrick's Day, be safe and all that. Later