Empirical son chp 18 worry-me-not
The barn door paradox:
"The barn door paradox, standing in the farm house kitchen; the cows are mooing, the light is breaking and you must decide if the weather is right for the cows to graze or feed from the loft; whether to milk or wait and getting the milk to the creamery. All These thing hinge on whether the barn door is open or closed. Are the cow in or out. The farm version of Schrödinger's cat. Without seeing the barn door, weather, or the cows. Making a chain of decisions that will make or break the farm and the farmers' family." I say to a dishearten Carrick sitting in the far orchard, smoking a cigar. A very rare thing with Grace concerned about his heart arrythmia
"That's not how Schrödinger's cat works?"
"ON the Farm it does. The farmer is making blind decisions on the state of things based on one premise. Like the poison in the box. Is the barn door open or closed. Thus, the other thing will exist or not exit based sole on that one thing. Like picking apple lines to graft to a base stalk. Making artful decision based on blind trust you are right and not pissing in the wind. Now, for the last time! The kids will return next week. Alright! Amelia is due back this Friday. Christian and Anna next Tuesday."
"I don't see why the authors tour thing was more important than family and why we could not go with them?"
"Carrick? The tour was Anna punishment for Christian crudity in the relationships. Like Grace dumping your motorcycle in lake St. Clair at Neff Park. So, chill out a stop stressing. It just stresses Gracie and Theresa. So, stop it."
"Ok? Its just we waited while Elliott and you are making headway. Why the stalling?"
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Same day: Utsalady Vista Point house W.N. Camano Dr and N. Shore Dr.
"Who place is this?" asking Welch.
"A friend of a friend on deployment to SETAF in northern Italy."
"Why here and not Grey House?"
"Because Gwen, here is quiet and secure and above all else isolated from the rumor mill and nosey-nellies. So once the other arrive in minutes we will begin. So, get a drink and meet me down stairs in the rumbas room."
"A room used for games, parties, and recreation?" I mumble heading to the ground level room with two poker table a four-video slot machine. Why do I suspect this is a gambling den Welch runs on the side?
I mix a weak bloody Mary as Gail, Flynn, walks in. Getting everyone drinks we sit at the ten-person card table and wait. Welch and Fred, walks in. They sit drink less. Why does sudden vision of Lucrezia Borgia dance in my head.
"Alright we are here to get the parents and the kid's working together. Flynn?" Welch kicks the hornet's nest.
"Grey doesn't trust them to be around him or Anna."
"Why?" I demand
"I've researched Christian history, both before and after the adoption. The four times since Anna appeared; we've talked. He is completely focused and concerned with her and not his family. I'm not sure how the interaction is fragile from his point of view."
"What is Christian's concern before Anna?" Gail asks.
"Christian early life as corrupted his trust issues. Several lines of thought converge in one: everything is Transactional. This is manifested in his view of his birth mother and the life lesson that time imprinted on him. Add the life lesson from after he was adopted with Carrick and Grace, with a lesser degree to Elliott and Amelia. Compound with touch issues. A low self-esteem."
He doesn't act Transactional with us?" I speak, concerned if the relationship I think we have is true or not.
"We are talking about his early life and before he left. Several studies have severe early childhood trauma hitting a crossroad as teenagers, swim or drown. Christian interaction with Sam and Madam changed him. Think Rudyard Kipling 'Captain Courageous'. Altered his course so to speak. Where everything was not transactional, but merit based. How does Christian say it 'mind and application.' That why Jeff in Sweden is a key turning point for Christian; Christian has become Captain Troop like Sam was to him. They gave him a clean slate so to speak." Flynn looking us in the eye.
"You, Gail to some extents is a pseudo mother to him and Anna. Thus, his friends are able to use these touchstones, a clean slate, forming real and lasting friendships with him and Ann." Flynn looks down at the green felt gambling table cover. "You've proven over the years to have a non-monetary, non-agenda interaction with him; thus if he can't define the relationship as transactional it must be a true relationship based on merit and respect. In this Christian is binary, no gray zone."
"Why lump Anna?" Gail asks
"Anna is the major crossroad in his life. Greater than Grace or Ella. For the first time; deeply personal life event has happened to him and it is not transactional. Worse for him, it is emotionally tangled up in one little ball of contradiction called Ananastasia Steele. Christian soulmate as he defined the relationship is not based on trust or thoughts, wants, or even needs." Flynn looks out the windows onto the water. "She sees him, the real inner man. It's based sole on his believe that she loves him without thought or reservations. That he is not only loveable, acceptable, but is free of the masks he wears, hides behind. That she doesn't care that he's the monster he sees in the mirror. If Anna says no, the monster or these friends, family, do not exist to him. It's a leap of faith, far beyond what I ever thought he could do."
"You're saying?" Welch whispers
"Anna, is one delaying the meeting." Flynn looks at his hands. A strange tell for a head-shrinker.
"Why?"
"Anna childhood although not a physical horrific as Christian's. Is equally damaging and to some extent Carla, her birth mother is transactional as well. Her mother is the gold framed poster child for Ginger Mckenna from the movie Casino. These manifest in the money issues and her inner fear that she is like her mother; a gold-digger."
"She is nothing like that!" Me and Gail bark in defense of our girl.
"I didn't say she is; I said she fears it might be true. She has Philophobia; a fear of falling in love because she will not be able to maintain the relationship. She is at war inside herself with 'phobia est aurum fodiens'; Fear of being a gold-digger. As one of my colleagues in Oxford, researching the psychology of narcissism and self-loathing." Flynn looks about the room and then at his hands, rubbing them like they are cold. "Fear she is like Carla and nothing more. A make no mistake both are transactional based disorders. She fears debt and money; like a child of a druggy or alcoholic fear booze and pills. She fears that Grace and Carrick will cause her to be a gold-digger or worse in her eyes make Christian believe it."
"He would never see her like that!" I bark, upset. I don't understand why.
"Gwen it's irrational. Doesn't make it any less real to Anna; And Christian. Because he fears turning her into what she fears and hates; thus, proving his irrational fear that he is not worthy and everything has a price; leaving him and hurting him. Like right now; those thoughts in your head triggered a negative response you thought was past?"
"Yes, Although I can't define why?"
"You mother never acknowledged your life or your marriage. Your father sneaks' moments into your life. But he doesn't acknowledge Roz as you partner, wife or even lover. Roz's family is even worse. You fear your child will be straight, grown up, a leave you both. Thus, you becoming your parents. A very common diagnose. Anna must have realized this very early. A if not for Ray and her pseudo parents and pseudo grandfather she might have turnout bads. But she didn't. So, she is fearful that Grace and Carrick will change that."
"Well how do we move them forward. The lunches with Grace went well." Gwen speaks after gulping down the rest of the bloody Mary.
"No, they didn't. I sorry to say. Anna is convinced that Grace is making nice to get to Christian. She knows a false flag when she sees one. Even Madison is concerned that Grace is acting." Gail gets up and refill my drink and set forth ones for everyone.
"Flynn why is Grace acting like that?" Welch thinks
"I suspect Grace is afraid one miss step is one too many."
"Making the bad choices to prevent making the final bad choice." Gwen muses
"Choices can we make?" Gail asks
"One Carrick is coming up on the first hearing in Anna's court case Thursday. Second: Christian, Elliott, Luke, and Ray are going fishing this weekend. I suggest we add Carrick. Grace and Amelia are going to Sol Duc Hot Spring Spa out near Port Angeles. I suggest Andrea, Gail, and Anna attend. I've arranged with Flynn; counselors, fully briefed, to attend both."
"Why Andrea and not me" Gwen demands.
"Because Gwen: you see Grace and Amelia as enemies of your friend Anna. You will be combative to prevent harm to Anna. Andrea is trained to be calm and even handed. Gail has the experience and professional standing to equal Grace. This is the same reason Barney is not going fishing. Christian sees him a pseudo brother, someone to protect and shelter. Were Jason's Christian friend, equal like Fred. Who has not said anything so far?" Flynn looks at him.
"Christian is Christian. With Anna he is better. He sees Roz, Gwen, Andrea, and me as friends. Barney and Lewis like Amelia and Elliot; Christian sees as people too protect, even from himself. Anna sees Barney as a friend and Lewis as well. We need to move everyone off the line and more together, this is not a race with winner and losers." Fred looks at Gwen tilting his head, a troubled thought? "Why do you believe Jeff is a turning point?"
"Because for the first time, Christian is confronted with a father he has no experience dealing with. The evil Pimp, The stern absent Carrick, Hard unbending Sam, or the loving supportive Roz. Jeff's father is violent, evil, and yet cares and is willing to make the best of the situation to see his son have a freer, better life. He'd kill or more importantly sacrifice himself for the boy. If Jeff's guardian told him he should die to make sure Jeff lived a happy and fulfilled life; we would see the o-bit(obituary) in the paper. That how committed he is to his son. That is someone Christian has never met before. An he sees the boy's mother like Ella and Grace."
"Why Grace?" I ask the two seem worlds apart.
"Because Gwen; Grace never stopped and committed completely to him. That is root of his fears with Grace and to some extend Carrick. I understand why, and how. But am at a loss to explain it to you guys in any rational or condensed way. If I had been their doctor at the adoption; I would have prescribed extreme and intense bonding; most likely having them take a year off and just be parents and kids isolated from all external distractions." Flynn looks out over the water. "Similar to what Christian and Anna have done. I am forcing them to interact more in groups and outside of work or limited friends they have. I don't want them having Honeymoon breakup syndrome."
"The What?" Welch barks.
"It's about how when people first get together, marry is the most studied, that the couple spends all there time together, not having social and societal interactions. Simply, they get bored looking at the same face, eating across from the same person and talking about the same things. Till they stop talking, stop interacting and breakup or worse self-harm the relationship, affairs, thief, risky behaviors. I've talked with Andrea and Anna, injecting couples and independent outings." Flynn gets up a pace.
"When Christian returns. Early September: He, Elliott and Barney are sailing around the Vancouver Island in a race regatta in the foursome crew group. While Anna and Madison are taking part in a Road rally: a combining the Columbia River Scenic Highway, Hood River Fruit Loop, and Mount Hood Highway. Three days, charity sponsored teams and checkpoints are stamped waypoints. The team with the fastest time, most stamps in each car category. The Grey House's two teams are entered in classic car group; Anna and Madison in Hippy era, Her vintage 1960's Bug. And Andrea and Gail in my wife's 1939 Ford 4 Door Deluxe Sedan Convertible. We will be in my uncle's Honolulu Blue 1956 Continental Mark II Convertible by Derham. He and aunt will be in his 1956 Alfa Romeo Giulietta Sprint Veloce. He expects to take class, group and team cups and best car team in rally."
"Ok, I bet you finish last." Gwen laughs
"I'll take that bet, and tell you dear lady. I have not place out of the top five since I forged my driver's license and stole my grandfather's 1951 Aston Martin DB2 Vantage at fourteen. Taking part in The Royal Scottish Automobile Club (RSAC) Scottish Rally. Before I was discovered and disqualified; I was eight overall after three-quarter of the race. Which when I had my license, at the earliest they state would allow. I won." Flynn smirks.
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Welch: Wednesday evening:
"Carrick what do you need?" why the hell his he calling me now?
"I talked to the DA. We are dropping Anna charges against Hyde." Bloody hell is he brain dead. Christian is going to go nuclear on his ass.
"Why!" I demand, hoping he has answers.
"The evidence is getting tossed, the off-duty policeman in the bar, cannot with certainty state the drink Anna grabbed was Her's before the supposed incident. A moreover; No prints were found on the glass." Well hotshot lawyer that means the evidence was tampered with.
"The evidence was screwed with and they got to the cop." I bark as the bile rises to unleash the anger.
"The evidence, yes. The cop no. Hydes new lawyer is good, expensive too."
"Who's paying? Not Hyde."
"We don't know. I don't know. The lawyer is one of the best defense lawyers in the West. Usually works out of LA. I estimate his budget around three-quarter of a million." Where the hell is the money coming from and why? I will start my black hats and sappers looking
"What are you telling Christian?"
"The truth. We didn't have a choice. The judge is talking to the DA about shipping Hyde to New Jersey. His DNA and mementos in his storage unit should see him convicted for rape and death in Princeton." That is not going to cut it.
"That's the only option?"
"Yes." Carrick sounds like he discussing golf scores, not life ending for him and Grace.
"You know Christian, to say nothing of Anna, is going to take this as your failure."
"I don't see how he can. The evidence was iffy and then tamper with. The DA is not going to trial. What do you expect me to do about it?" Whining like a little b #$ch!
"What about the video files, the other victims? What about the evidence we gave you. I gave you!" I fume in pre ignition.
"The DA says they are tainted by the officer not being more cautious with evidence."
"Then the storage unit is tainted and thus the Princeston case is hosed before it even began." A, my law degree is from TV reruns in the far gulf desert waiting for wars to begin.
"Most likely." Whining little shit!
"This dishwater bullshit is going to sink your relationship with Christian!" I whine; damn it we were going so good.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
"YES, IT IS!"
"I cannot make the DA file and present a case. The evidence is what it is and the witness is being honest. What does Christian want; me to bribe people; plant evidence!"
"Damn hell YES!" I fume even as I know it wrong and will likely blow up in my face.
"NO! I will not! I suggest you explain to Christian and Anna the reality of this situation!" Hanging up the phone. I throw my mobile across the room at a three-pillow backstop over a padded waste basket. Barney's solution to me throwing my phone.
I think about what we know and not what is legally useable. Thinking I see a flaw. One of the parties in the bar was celebrating a birthday, they have video. We have the video, gave it to Carrick. Will have my minions comb thru it and see if anything is useable.
Then deal with Christian and Anna. Not a conversation I want to have with either. XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Flynn-pov
Thinking hard and condensing my thoughts on one Christian Grey. What drives him? What motivates him? What does he fear? All the neat notes from the last six months are birdcage liner. She is everything to him and He to her. They don't seem to have normal relationship boundaries or roles.
She is extrovert and introvert at the flip of a coin. Sexy kitten and prim Victorian lady. She moves thru the water of society, like a phantom. A poltergeist like spirit weaving social and personal interactions. The more I find the murkier the water becomes.
Will have to get a better read on the people they interact with, maybe one of the people or staff they have interacted with in the last weeks. Only time will tell and I fear we are running out of time.
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Welch-pov:
All the best laid plans of my intellect are so much confetti in the wastebin. Business dragged Christian to Asia. The threat assessment was not good for anyone else. And Christian never puts other in danger if he can help it. So, he left Miss Steele at the penthouse; and she refused to go to the hot spring spa. She refused just about everything, wallowing in misery at not accompanying her man. She got spoiled over the last month tour Europe.
Now she left with Gail, I could ring her neck, on this Post grad college tour. Gail knows better than to throw horseshoes and hand grenades in my plans. The tour pictures are turning the screws to Jason and Christian. I hope they can last, I'm in the pool for Scotland.
At least the court case is back on track. Still not sure if Kate's parents are bankrolling Hyde? Or someone else. The money trail is very professional hidden and done. I will need to call in some markers in DC.
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Carrick Grey pov
"NO! I will not! I suggest you explain to Christian and Anna the reality of this situation!" the reality hits me hard. This will end any chance of a relationship with Christian. But what else can I do. The evidence was tamper with, the witness won't lie on the stand. An I'm here in my home office; wondering how to tell Grace I screwed the pooch and we are screwed to!
"Ding, ring, ding, ring" my cell buzzes. Looking down at the display. Henderson my law clerk. Swiping the answers button. "Jame?"
"We have Hyde. One of the birthday party videos shows the bartender switching drinks after the cop seized it. He is seen clearly doing so under the hitman fake lawyer that later attacked Anna. We also have something else, audio. Hyde and Morgan talking about the rape before he tried. Specifical about had she (Anna) drank the Mickey Finn. Morgan is heard telling Hyde "Anna's had double Mickey". An she gets a turn later once she's recovered (from the rape and beating by Hyde) to be blackmailed like the rest of his former assistant. All legally obtained and recorded as background noise in a public place, they did it standing at a crowded bar."
"Send it to me now" the email takes twenty minutes. James washed the audio, arranged the transcripts and legal briefs. The kid is showing promise. I double check and email The DA and Welch. Maybe I won't have to tell Grace we have lost Christian again. God, I pray and hope we can get back to being a family.
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Schrödinger's cat farm paradox: from a retired Army SM after hearing tales of woe we just experience convoying thru the Sacramento Mountain (NM); he did buy, six soldiers with eight badly wounded vehicles, us dinner: is nearly verbatim from a conversation a long time ago at an: old tourist trap atomic styled or McDonalds maybe: burger stand in Alamogordo, NM.
I jotted the paradox down in a notebook, because I could not at the time make any sense of it. If you cannot follow it, do not feel bad. We (the group) final realized the paradox was simple: don't stress on the unknown, known or anything. Just go try or simply put, life is too short to stress about the things you could have, should have, or did not do or even what you did. A long-winded story that took our minds off the present, to convinces us of that simple fact.
Sapper= combat engineer who tunneled under walls and then collapsed the tunnels, thus undermining the walls. These trenches and tunnels were called "saps," and their diggers came to be called "sappers." Also use in military slang for immoral private investigator or S2 (intelligence) one who digs up dirty(secrets).
: Mickey Finn (or simply a Mickey) is a drink laced with an incapacitating agent, given to someone without their knowledge with the intent to incapacitate them or "knock them out". Serving someone a "Mickey" or "slipping someone a mickey".
The Rain in Spain from "My Fair Lady " Written by: ALAN JAY LERNER, FREDERICK LOEWE How kind of you to let me come! Now once again, where does it rain? On the plain! On the plain! And where's that blasted plain? In Spain! In Spain! The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!
Becquerel referred to a measure of land in old French. Henry =Old French Henri: Henri Becquerel