"Say goodbye to sleep..."

Why did Tehra have to be right? Why hadn't she, a trained medic, thought about how time intensive the care of a baby creature was?! One of the first things any medical textbook mentioned in that regard? Was slapping her forehead appropriate still? No? Yes? If only she wasn't so tired….

Her eyelids still felt like durasteel clumps, even after standing in the bright kitchen at stars knew what hour in the morning for a mystery time span. Ten minutes? Half an hour? Blinking into the harsh light, she fixated her eyes onto Boba who stared blankly into the space between the cooking pad and their freezer. He was the one who insisted that if he was going to lose sleep then she would too. On any other day she would call him petty, but right now even that was too much effort.

Both of them were spaced out. The pot of the milk they had to warm up before feeding it to the kitten was stewing peacefully. No tiny bubbles yet. Still got a few more minutes of silent staring into nothing. A yawn fought past her composure and her hands were too heavy to even lift to conceal it. Boba shot her a half-tired glare with his hands full with the kitten that now meowed loudly for food. How could something so tiny be so damn loud?

Just then he yawned too. It was comical how wide his mouth opened. She had to giggle at the confused blink he did when he closed it again.

"See what you made me do," he muttered darkly re-adjusting the kitten into one hand to rub one of his eyes.

"I only made you yawn," she giggled just as the kitten meowed insistently again.

"Still," he grumbled and then looked at the kitten, "You will get your food in two seconds!"

Now her giggling grew louder which earned her another glare.

"You are talking to the kitten," she teased with a wink sent his way.

"They do understand," he defended himself, "Has the milk finished warming up finally?"

Blowing out a breath into his face, she turned to lean over the pot slightly. Some bubbles were forming and sighing she turned the pad off. The filling up of the bottle and the feeding of a hungry kitten happened in blissful silence, the both of them still fighting with drooping eyelids. Her cheek was resting on top of the table, watching the kitten's paws paddling through the air.

"I blame you by the way," Boba finally said indignantly after he had set the bottle down.

"Me?" she asked disbelievingly lifting her head off the table.

Even if didn't sound actually serious, she was not going to let it slide either. Who did he think he was blaming her? Petty, little…. Infuriating man!

"I didn't take it in," she protested leaning back in the chair.

"You were the one freaking out," he deadpanned wrapping the kitten up in the blanket again.

"I was not freaking out," she sputtered.

Liar.

"You were," he gave her a look.

"If you say so," she muttered in defeat holding out her arms to get the kitten, "Also we need a name for it."

"A name?" he asked stunned even as he gave it to her.

Her fingers curled around the blanket, the tiny kitten now purring loudly in content.

"Yes," she nodded, "Can't keep calling it a kitten."

"Well… can we just call it cat?" he suggested looking her dead in the eye.

She gawked. Seriously? Was he being completely serious? Apparently. She blinked. Once. Several times. No, she must have misheard.

"Can you repeat that please?" she asked stunned.

"Call it cat," he shrugged nonchalantly as he put his palms on top of the table.

So he was being serious. Could she hit him? Several times? If her hands were not holding the kitten itself, she might have. Blankly she stared at him for a few moments. Sighing, she got up, the chair scraping on the floor as she walked to the spot they had put the crate in.

"You cannot name it cat," she finally replied when she settled the rolled up blankets down.

"Well," Boba shrugged, "it is not like it is going to stick around."

"Still," she argued turning around to see him standing behind her with his arms crossed, "that is just… wrong?"

He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at her for a second before a mischievous note floated past her. It was too quick and fizzled out before she could even fully register it. Had it been there? Never mind, she was tired. Could have just been her head trying to piece things together when they weren't meant to fit.

"How about," he said with his expression blank, "Kihroya?"

Actually, that was a nice name. Finally…

"I like it," she conceded.

Boba chuckled before yawning again. Now smiling, her eyes flickered up to his which shone with something she could not quite put her finger on. Sleep weighed down her thoughts before they could even reach the forefront of her mind. That must be it. She should really stop trying to put more meaning into things.

"Sleep?" she pointed to the stairs where their beds were waiting for them.

He shook his head, "Not yet. Go ahead."

Melancholy laced his presence all of the sudden and it left a bitter-sweet taste in her mouth. So there was something more. Her shoulders dropped. A memory. That was how memories felt like. Ones of a happier time. Dropping her eyes from his face to the ground, she shuffled with her feet. This wasn't something she was a part of. Sleep was calling anyways.

Slowly she trudged up the stairs, hearing soft foot steps behind her until… the door opened and closed. He could have stayed inside? She would have been gone and he would have had his space. Or, her stomach tightened, did he need more distance between the two of them? Turning around she looked at the closed door. The grey metal mocking her practically as it formed a barrier between the two of them. It was not her place to pry and if he needed space… then she should give it to him. As long as she could sense nothing wrong, then there was nothing to worry about. Right?

Just why weren't her feet moving? If he was a patient on Teth, she would leave him alone too. Why did she feel the need to follow him out? Shaking her head, she looked up the stairs where their room was. It was none of her business. Crossing her arms tightly under her chest, she walked up the rest of the stairs and into the bedroom closing the door behind her with a quiet click.

She leaned her head against the door, the cold metal clearing the fog in her head. The melancholy from earlier swished like a heavy curtain in the wind, revealing others. Tendrils of wonder and… a feeling of being lost crystallised at the back of her skull. Tears stung at the corner of her eyes. Why? Lifting her head from the door, she took a step back. Why was she close to crying? She rubbed at her eyes to get rid of the feeling. Only… her fingers came back wet, glistening in the moon light.

Breathing became hard, her lung constricting painfully. Opening her mouth to release a shuddering breath she rubbed her forehead. This was getting ridiculous!

Boba went outside. He was definitely off, not with how he felt in the Force. She went up and now she her body is behaving weirdly. It must be because of Boba. Could only be that. Otherwise…

Quietly she treaded over to the window that had been opened to let in the night breeze. Seemed like years ago when they had slept. Cold shot her up her fingertips and palms when she leaned on the window board. It was a pretty night sky. No clouds and just the twinkling stars. Inhaling, she looked over to other yellow spots in the distance. Where others must still be awake at this hour. Far more than she would have thought. With a short exhale, she looked down where the centre of melancholy stood. Back to her and his head arched far into his neck. Whether his eyes were closed or not, she could not really see from where she stood.

Should she go down? There was no way she could fall asleep with him being this way. Not with how strongly she felt it. No. He wanted to be alone in this, whatever he was feeling. Rubbing her eyes, she turned away from the window and crawled into her bed, staring at the ceiling.

Everything was and felt strange. Off in many ways. Stretching out her legs under the blanket, she turned on her side so she faced the door. Maybe she could ask? Biting her lip, she turned her head again, so she had a view to the stars from out the window. Or just maybe, she should not overthink these kind of matters.

Loud steps up the stairs made her flinch.

How had she not heard the door opening and closing? Frowning, she lifted her head. It felt like Boba. Good. No intruder. Letting her head fall back, she waited for the door to their room to open.

Not a heartbeat later it did.

"I know you were watching," Boba stated gruffly, "Come on outside if you want."

What? Confused she sat up quickly, her head spinning for a minute.

"You were thinking too loudly," she mumbled her excuse rubbing her forehead.

"Then don't focus on it?" he deadpanned leaning against the doorframe.

"You say as if that was easy," she said shooting him a side glance.

He chuckled, "Aye. Are you coming or not?"

"I am," she grumbled getting to her feet, "Are you feeling better?"

He flinched.

"I was never not good?" he raised an eyebrow in her direction.

She pressed her lips together. Alright, touchy topic. Probably would be for the best if she did not pry. For whatever reason he saw it necessary to get her down with him, she might as well get the time to see which star constellations were the same as on Teth.

Once outside, he steered her more off the path, however not too far away though.

"You staring at my back was rather distracting," he explained now pushing her to a stop at his side.

"Really?" she asked, tugging the sleeves of her tunic down to her wrist.

After all, the night was not that warm.

"Yes," he replied and she could hear the eye roll that followed it.

"And you walked up to me just so…," she started to ask before he shushed her.

"Yes," he said simply now sounding tired, "Altharya, please."

Her stomach twinged at the pleading tone. Shutting her mouth, she looked up at the sky too. Mimicking Boba's stance. The skin on her throat stretched painfully, but neither could she look away. A large faint, spotty white strip spanned the sky above their heads. One she had not seen from the window. One of the galaxy's arms. On Teth the one they should had been able to see was always obscured by the lights from their town.

But here? It was clearer than she had ever seen. Breathing deeply, she turned her head to follow the strip where it disappeared behind the roof. How small it seemed in the distance. If she only knew what systems were in it? A smile tugged on her mouth. How funny would it be? To know what is in there so far away, but she could technically see everything.

"Makes you feel small, no?" Boba's voice drew her out of her musings.

Quickly she glanced at to him. He was still staring up, but his stance had shifted so he was facing her more.

"Yes," she breathed, dropping her eyes from the sky to look at him fully.

It was too dark to see his face, but she knew he was smiling. Wistful sparks of… a memory floated past her. He was remembering. Chest tight now, she felt her shoulders sinking. Memories. If only she had a pleasant memory under the stars.

"My father," Boba sounded hesitant, voice steady, "used to show me the night sky when I was small."

One corner of her mouth lifted up. He could not fool her. It took him a lot of effort to hide the tremor that was vibrating in his throat. But she would not say that to him. Just wouldn't be right to do so. Not with the ghost of a man hovering between them.

"There was one constellation he loved the most," he continued, "I think you can see it from here."

His left arm touched her shoulders, drawing her to side slightly as he pointed at a group of stars that formed a rough circle. Fingers dug into the fabric of her tunic and a small shiver ran up her spine, causing her heart to flutter. Swallowing she twisted her hands together as she followed his finger. Warmth flooded her face and she could feel his cheek hovering above her hair, not touching it. A slight jump of a happy memory freed her lungs and she felt herself smiling fully.

At least it was not a sad one.

Then he let go, leaving her shoulders cold to the breeze. She swayed slightly from the loss. Almost shifting so she was closer to him. Almost. Catching herself, she favoured her left foot, leaning away from him. Hopefully he had not noticed. She was… oh this was far too confusing to think about.

"What is it called?" she asked.

"I cannot really remember," Boba said sounding embarrassed, "but… he always told me it had to do with a myth."

She looked back at him. A myth? Stunned she blinked at the star constellation. Myths had been … it felt like something she had never belonged to. No culture she could claim.

"What kind of myth?" she asked now curious.

"An origin myth," Boba said quietly the smile evident from how lightly he said it.

"Whose origin myth?" she felt stupid for asking.

Monts' datapad on Jango Fett had mentioned Mandalorians. But… what were Mandalorians in essence? Nothing came up when she tried to pin it down.

"For Mandalorians?" Boba replied questioningly, "You do know what they are?"

She looked to the ground, the heat in her cheeks now flaming in her shame.

"No," she answered quietly drawing her shoulders together, "Well, I heard of them. But no one ever said…"

"What they are? What they stand for?" Boba finished for her.

"Yes," she confirmed looking back to the sky.

Anywhere but him. Stars, why was she so stupid? How often had she had the opportunity to look and didn't? If she had even remembered.

Stop thinking.

Where had that come from? Frowning she looked to the side where Boba stood. Had he said something? No. That hadn't sounded like him. Was she going mad? Just then Boba sighed, sounding resigned.

"Jetii," he muttered shaking his head.

Jetii? What was that word? It sounded like Jedi, but… her frown deepened. Was he insulting her?

"Mandalorians," Boba started louder as if he hadn't said anything prior, "are a culture. Well, not really. A way of life is a better description."

She nodded. A way of life. Wasn't that a culture? Or was she missing a definition there?

"They, we, are bound by a set of rules. Resol'nare. As long as they are followed we are Mandalorians," he said absentmindedly, "to not follow the rules means you are longer one."

"I take it the Mandalorians are pretty strict on that front," she quipped.

Boba laughed quietly, "You could say that."

"I cannot remember hearing about them…," she said trailing off.

He knew what she meant. They had not been in the Clone Wars.

"There was a Mandalor," he began, "A Duchess, she kept them out of the conflict."

"You do not like her," she stated.

"She died before I could return to the Mandalorian space," he replied sighing, "and I was never part of it either."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I was born on Kamino," he regarded her for a brief moment, as if waiting for something.

She shrugged. Kamino? It sounded familiar… but she could not connect anything with it. Why was he looking at her like she should know something? The weight of his stare was starting to become overbearing and she crossed her arms. Why was he looking so disbelievingly at her?

"I am sorry," she said, "I can't make a connection."

For a long moment, Boba remained quiet, looking at her as if he could not believe what she had said. For a brief moment, bitterness wafted over which morphed then pensiveness. He was debating whether he should tell her. Would be good to know what he expected her all to know!

"Kamino? Not important," he said dismissively sounding sad almost.

"Obviously it is," she argued back.

"I was born and grew up there," he shrugged, "It has some importance to me. Was wondering if you heard about it."

Oh… yeah, that made sense. But it did ring a bell, one to do with one Jedi. Definitely... Just who? And why had it been whispered in the temple.

"But," Boba interrupted her thoughts a bit too loudly, "that star constellation was there too. Not always visible. Kamino was stormy almost all the time, but on the nights the sky had no clouds, it was there."

"Did you and your father do that often?"

"What? Looking at the stars?" he looked back up, "More often than you think."

"So…," she shuffled with one foot, "You were talking about an origin myth?"

"You want to know?" he asked roughly sounding genuinely surprised.

A tinge of hope flared up, her head light at the feeling. Untangling her arms she nodded, "Yes. You mentioned it and now you have to tell me."

That slight tinge exploded into a sort of giddiness that she had felt with children when someone promised them a toy or a sweet.

"So…," he sounded a bit awkward now, but still happy, "consider an egg."

She snorted in brief laughter. An egg? Alright, she could picture an egg. This was far too funny to take seriously.

"Hey, be serious," he remarked even though he himself was holding back laughter, "But can you imagine it?"

She nodded, now pressing her lips hard against the other. How difficult could it be to control her laughter? What had she expected honestly? Something grand? An egg. How simple and… she squinted up at the star constellation, in its own way symbolic. But so are many other things!

"Mandalorians had a religion once with three deities. One presented chaos, another stagnation and the last once was the god of luck or chance. They lived in there, forming and creating."

"Sounds…," she grappled for words, "rather harmonious."

"Well," Boba shot her a lopsided grin, "not for long."

"Of course," she teased back now regaining some control, "Otherwise there would be no story."

Boba snorted, "Either way, our chaos deity found the boundary."

She felt herself deflating, the urge to laugh now finally dissipated. A heaviness settling in her head and she felt herself leaning unconsciously more towards him.

"Anyways, once he had found the boundary he found out that they were closed in. So they started to try to break out."

"Of course," she muttered.

"It was in their nature," Boba shrugged, "However, his efforts attracted stagnation and chance."

"Hmm," she hummed still looking at the stars.

Somehow she could see it happening. Three primordial beings in an egg, trapped inside a shell as they just existed. The stars became a mass of blinking haze the longer she stared up.

"Stagnation did not want anything to change while chaos started to throw themselves against this boundary," Boba continued.

Somehow he sounded closer. Had he stepped closer? But the sky was too captivating to turn her head. It was not like he would do something to her. Was this star blinking at her? Within the milky strip. What people must live there, if it even had planets.

"Were they called chaos, stagnation and chance?" she heard herself asking.

"They have proper names, but would you remember them if I just told you them?" Boba asked, though it sounded as if he was stating something obvious.

"True," she conceded.

Since when had she been smiling? Her cheeks were beginning to strain slightly. They normally didn't hurt when she did! Or had she not smiled so long lately?

"Because chaos kept throwing himself against the shell, stagnation bit them and threw them away. Though, they did not know about the nature of spheres," he huffed a short laugh before continuing, "so all they accomplished was weakening the shell further."

She remained quiet.

"At some point it broke, expelling the three of them and all they created," he finished.

For a moment she stood there, not quite sure that it was the end. Sounded and felt like there was something that would follow from it.

"That it?" she asked, turning to him.

He had not moved from where he had stood. Why had she sensed him being closer? Frowning, she rubbed her cheek. Her tiredness. Must be it. Anything else was too much to think about right now.

"No," he started to grin, "There is more. But that is for another time."

"Tired?" she teased already turning to walk to the door.

"What do you think?" he challenged laughing as he followed her.

She smirked back before opening the door. Eyelids heavy and sluggish steps, they threw themselves into their beds, passing out immediately. The stars blinking through the still open window.

"Altharya?" Boba asked not turning around to her as he looked towards the lake.

He was turning a thought over in his head, the whirrings clicking in her ears and she squinted up at him in the high standing sun.

"Hm?" she hummed when he did not continue immediately.

"Did they teach you how to swim?" he asked crossing his arms.

They? Stars, the ways he took to avoid talking directly about them. It was starting to become comical. Though… pushing him about it seemed not right either.

"Yes," she replied.

Where was he going with this?

"A day of rest should do you good," he shrugged not looking back at her.

Rest? Was he…

"What do you mean?" she asked directly.

"Well," he was smirking now, even his eyes were wrinkled in genuine joy, "would you consider swimming less bruising than what we have been doing so far?"

Oh… that was unexpected? Her mouth fell open and she stared up at him for a moment before a giddy grin spread on her mouth. Swimming… it had been so long! Would be good for her muscles too, from what she had read the water could soothe some of the ache. The waters on Teth had been not safe for her and Soren and by the time they might have had the strength to swim against the currents, there had never been time to get away from town.

Not half an hour later, she threw herself into the cool water. Almost sighing loudly in joy when her muscle aches were drowned out by the gentle current. Could almost forget that she was here with someone. Her feet hit round stones at the ground and she looked down. It was shallow where she stood and clear enough to see her toes wiggling.

That was strange. The ones she had seen had been not transparent or downright dirty. At least she could wade around for a while before getting to the deeper parts.

A loud splash to her right made her turn around. Ripples and foam spread out from Boba who grinned widely from where he had jumped in.

"We should have an hour before we are flooded by the rest," he nodded his head towards the main bulk of the town.

"Do they come here often?" she asked grasping at a boulder that jutted out where the ground had a dipped down so her toes no longer could grace it.

A water drop ran down the middle of his chest… Alright, look away! Only now her cheeks were flaming red. Stars, this was humiliating.

"Yes," Boba waded over to her rubbing his face before his eyes landed on something hidden by the boulder, "And we are already getting company."

Oh? She heaved herself up on the rock so she looked over it to where Boba was looking. Damn, he was right. A lone figure was approaching them. Slow and with hesitant steps. Light crackling of fear surrounded him and she lowered herself back down.

But fear? Here? Hadn't Boba said that this town was safe? She could sense it from this far away? Closing her eyes, she stretched out to the Force. Fuzzy shapes took form in her mind, like she was used to whenever she had tried to reach out to it. But… that fuzziness had more defined edges and shapes. Two human-like shapes with tiny dots glittering around them.

"Rion," Boba greeted the figure ripping her out of her focus, "Haven't seen you for a while."

She opened her eyes staring at Boba and the male Zeltron who had approached.

"You know," Rion sighed, "Jobs and then you are barely here anyways. No wonder we always miss the each other."

Boba huffed, a grim amusement flickered up before it fizzled out almost immediately.

"You look like shit," he commented bluntly.

"Been a rough couple of days," Rion sighed taking his clothes off, "And since it is getting hotter now, I thought I'd go for a cool down."

"Job?" Boba asked still not moving in any direction.

"Arions wanted someone to have a look on the Brent border town," Rion shrugged before letting himself fall into the water.

A loud splash filled the relative silence over them until Rion resurfaced again, shaking his head making water drops fly everywhere.

"How bad is it now?" Boba asked quietly.

Weariness sparked up around him, colouring the previous relaxed state. Tensions? Oh right, the Arion and Brent conflict… how could she forget? Rion did not answer at first, his eyes fixed on her. But somehow there were no flickers of recognition of her presence? As if she was invisible….

"Pretty bad," Rion yawned, "Both are gearing up for something major. Frankly, my advice? Get out of here by next year latest."

"Definitely going to come to blows then?" Boba asked lightly.

That had been no question, more of a statement phrased as an affirmation of when. War was coming. Only when was the question. Though, she pinched her lips, by then Boba would either relocate her somewhere else or she'd be with Vader then.

"If not earlier," Rion answered before throwing a handful of water in his face, "Look, Fett. I'd rather not talk about it right now."

"Fair," Boba conceded already turning away.

Rion's eyes widened, fear shining through at the motion just as his hands started to tremble. Something was going on and he was about to spill what was bothering him. Without even acknowledging her in any way.

"Fett….," Rion called suddenly.

Boba turned around, a questioning eyebrow raised in his direction. For a moment, determination coloured Rion's mind until… wariness won over and he shook his head, "Nothing. Don't mind me."

She stared at this Rion whose shoulders were hunched back over, his mind warring with itself. Guilt... it was guilt that made him recoil when Boba put a hand on his shoulder.

"You look like you saw a ghost," Boba probed, concern lacing his tone.

"Just tired," Rion shrugged him off wading deeper more towards her, "Honestly, forget anything I just said."

"If you say so," Boba replied hesitantly his eyes glued to Rion's back.

"Are you staying here for a while?" Rion asked turning around to start floating on his back.

"For a few months, aye," Boba replied nodding slowly, "Major job preparations you see?"

"So that is why you have a partner with you?" Rion joked forcing out a small wry laugh.

"She is here you know?" Boba raised an eyebrow at the floating man who froze in shock.

"Wait, what?" Rion yelled twisting back on his feet spraying water everywhere, "She is here?! Where?!"

"She is behind you?" Boba sounded confused now, looking up to her.

Rion whirled around as fast as she could in the waist deep water, his face swivelling around in an arc frantically looking for her. How come he did not see her? She was not exactly hidden! Actually she was in plain view! Looking back to Boba, she shrugged at him in confusion before pushing herself off the rock.

Still… Rion's eyes didn't seem to quite land on her yet. Always roaming over, not slowing down. Not even a slither of recognition in his mind.

Just then Boba's eyes narrowed, anger surging around him and she could feel herself shivering.

"Fett, are you playing a joke on me?!" Rion snapped annoyed.

She stared at Boba whose mouth was now pinched into a thin line, his mind now racing too fast to even attempt to grasp any thought.

But then… she could feel how Rion's annoyance wavered into confusion as he twisted around, facing away from her.

He truly had not seen her.

Was she invisible?

Hours later, when their lips had grown blue and their skin wrinkled from the water, they were on their way back to the house. Rion had finally seen her, not a minute after Boba had pointed out where she had been. In the end she just told them that she had hidden underneath the water, to pull a prank on Boba. A lie that had made Rion giggle, the tension fleeing from his chest when she said it.

Though, Boba's eyes sometimes were glued to her back whenever he thought she would not notice after that. Mind closed off, colder. Even flinched away from her at once. Miniscule twitches, before he had to tense his muscles to ease back in a normal stance.

It had hurt… more than she had thought possible.

Far more than it should have. Honestly, why would his reaction upset her so?

If only she knew why too. Maybe, she glanced over to him a step ahead of her, she should ask? Or not. Usually these things were alright by the next morning again. Whatever had happened…. Well she had an inkling what it was and she needed some space and time alone.

Away from everyone.

If everyone just encompassed Boba at this moment.

Inside, he brushed her off, storming up the stairs not even deigning to look at her. Not a moment later, the door to their room slammed shut just as stabs of boiling fury ran through her head. Seemed like he just gave her the time and space she had wanted. As much as it made her chest twinge and hurt with that anger. She had to swallow. Tinges of worry shone through suddenly now. Then… sadness?

Why? What was there to be sad about?

Even the kitten had burrowed itself deeper into the blankets when she threw a look into its crate.

Why was everything so complicated? Now the Force was playing tricks on her, Boba… whatever she felt was stupid. She gripped her hair while looking around the room. There was no way she would be able to focus now.

Hang on…

It all started with Boba…, never had anything like that happened on Teth. Well, only when she had thought she was in danger. Think. Think. Tehra and this Emmet did not notice her that one day. Today then, this Rion did not see her at all. For nearly a minute!

What had changed?

Water? Did being in the water bring it all out? Or more –amplified- it all? Was this why Struhn moved places haphazardly in their first year on Teth? Away from the coast line to the rock tableau in the jungle? Had she forgotten something?

Though, when they left the lake had been full with other people splashing about. Not somewhere she wanted to test this out. Unless she waited until it was night when no one would be around to see her using the Force. A town full of bounty hunters was the worst place to do anything with it frankly.

But if this was going to keep happening, she would have to work on it herself. If more of these accidents happened, someone else would catch on her sensitivity. The ensuing carnage was not something she'd wish on anyone.

And she would have to do this alone and away from everything else. Though, she winced when she looked back up to where their room would be, she'd have to start thinking of excuses why she wanted to go to the lake late in the evenings from now on.

By the time the sun had begun to set, Boba still had not walked out of the room. The sky had coloured into a deep grey-blue from the bright orange pink minutes ago. The anger had cooled down to a hard and silent fury simmering ball where the desk was. Who would be stupid enough to disturb him?

Not her.

She had her own problems to sort out right now.

Since when had she started to think about the Force as a problem?

All of this was rubbing off on her in a wrong way. Maybe it was good that she now had some time and space to herself. To sort that all out. Without any interference from anyone. Especially Boba. She kicked a pebble away from her walking to the small and hidden place she had found earlier on. Two trees with long and drooping branches had formed a sort of purple-leafed curtain around a small dip in the bank.

A good place to not be seen immediately and be close enough to the water to see the results. Not even a breeze was blowing when she slid down the bank to the waterline where a few fallen leaves floated.

Now what? She had not thought not that far ahead. All the way over, she had been more anxious about Boba running after her. How did one use the Force consciously? All she knew about was how to sense things, anything more direct had been done in moments of panic.

And apparently becoming invisible….

How was she going to explain this later to him? There was no point beating around the bush should he decide to confront her about it. He knew what had happened and just played along.

Sighing, she rubbed her forehead as she kneeled down on the wet earth, knees almost touching the water.

So… water. Her only way to discover how to control these incidents it seemed. Hopefully it could help in the end. Hesitantly she stretched her fingers out, the tips still wrinkled, and dipped them into the cooled down and still water. No tingling spread from the tips, like before. If she could move the leaves… Glaring hard at the leaves, she tried to force the familiar tingling to appear on her arms.

Move!

Nothing. The leaves did not move.

Oh… Disappointed she withdrew her fingers, to clench them into her tunic. What had she thought? That it would work immediately? How stupid was she? Hadn't Knight Trillen once mentioned to one of the Masters that she was weak in the Force? Because she could not move a feather back then? Even after countless tears and hours into the night staring at that stupid feather trying to make it move. If the attack on the temple hadn't happened, she would have been shipped off to Dantooine. To be out of sight as a failed Youngling.

What had made her really think she'd succeed now?

When she had been able to push someone off a platform to their deaths.

If only Knight Trillen knew, but they were dead. Killed by stepping in front of her and other younglings even though they never seemed to care before.

Stop. One step at a time like Struhn always tended to say when a medical area got hard and she wanted to give up.

She had gotten further than all the years sheltered on Coruscant in more than a few days. Probably further than allowed in the Order. A medic… not a farmer. Maybe it had been for the better that she was no longer a part of the Jedi.

Unfortunately, none of this reminiscing was helping her. The Force didn't like coming to her aid when she was not in grave danger, or when it was not appropriate to disappear. Why did she think it would be easy? Everything was a fight, there would always be resistance. Hadn't she learned that the hard way?

This was going to take long and hadn't Yoda always said that every journey started with one step? Or something along those lines. He only ever really talked to her once. And then only because the Knights weren't there to steer her away.

AN: I know I am late. There is no excuse :/

Do let me know what you thought though! Every review is appreciated! Chapter 18 is currently being written still.