Chapter 6

"Loss"

The days and nights muddied together as the nightmare that was now my reality continued. One week. One week of being raped each night is all it took for me to fall pregnant. It wasn't fair. That was all I could think of the moment I found out. How could Jacob and I have had so much trouble convincing Jacob Jr and this monster got his way with me in just one week. It's awful knowing that I sincerely don't want this pregnancy nor this monster's child to carry a part of me when I know just how many women would do anything to have a child of their own. I walked circles around my room at night worrying that he might call for me as he had the second week of my pregnancy often for what he said was solely to "ensure I was pregnant". The fight had faded from my body while I was with him as I realized quickly the less I fought the quicker he finished. If I wasn't his captive and was a true wife I could have hardly found any satisfaction in him sexually as his appearance most definitely masked his lack of manhood. Though each moment I was under him felt like an eternity in hell it was almost always over in under 5 minutes. He hardly broke a sweat before he finished. It was strange. Strange as it was, how little time of this that I had to endure, was the one thing I was thankful for amongst this forced relationship between us.

Jacob Jr was doing wonderfully he had hardly taken to Dane who spent a ridiculous amount of time parading him around the smaller towns of The Underground introducing him as his son and boasting about how wonderful of a father he was becoming and how adept he felt to the role of fatherhood. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to attend every outing and I spent my time away from Jr having massive panic attacks as I could not convince myself that he would always bring Jacob back no matter how many times he had kept his promise to do so. Dean if nothing was punctual and he expected everyone around him to be just as punctual as he was. His schedule was written weeks in advance and he followed it to the last minute before he closed his eyes at night. That we had in common and it was the only thing amongst his evil personality that I could appreciate.

Stella had clearly grown quite distant from me as time passed. She was never given time to properly grieve the loss of her siblings as she was immediately placed in Aminas position and forced to take care of Jacob and myself needs. I ensured to never ask her to do something small even if I was exhausted from caring for Jacob. I did my best to hardly need her around but occasionally when I did require her assistance she seemed distant and angry though she carried on with a forced smile. I couldn't figure out how to have a relationship with someone whose siblings' were dead because of me, let alone someone whose siblings' hearts I had eaten in front of them. Though I would do it again to save Jacobs life if I was put in the position once more. Jacob, he is all that matters now. He is my only family down here, my only connection to my world. My only hope. Without him I would rather die. My mission, no, my purpose is to reunite him with his father, with his family and every day that passes as he begins to grow my heart breaks as I realize that no matter how much I commit to memory my family will never get the opportunity to know him as he is now.

Jacob Jr, though chunky for his age, seems to grow at the rate of a typical human baby which I both love and fear. The longer he stays little the more time he'll have to get to know his true father and the more memories the three of us will get to make. Each morning and night I share a memory of his true father with him in hope this will help him have a quicker connection once they do finally meet. The child growing inside me however most certainly had an accelerated growth rate. Not nearly as fast as my own birth but in what could only have been just over two months I was quite large. My new midwife Yuskia measured me at roughly 21 weeks just two days ago and already I can feel my weight has increased. I couldn't imagine what giving birth to a Werewolf entailed and I was far too afraid to ask. All I really needed to know was if there was a potential for me to lose my life, a question that Amina had answered long ago during a talk with her about her family. Her oldest brother was her parents' only Werewolf offspring and though the birth was traumatic as any other unmediated birth it was quite often just as survivable as a human birth. With my own accelerated healing I was sure that I would be fine physically which is all that mattered as I needed to ensure Jacob wasn't left alone in this dark new world we were stuck in.

I'm not sure what I'll do with the child once it's here. I know I can't keep it. I certainly can't raise it alongside Jacob. That would just feel so incredibly wrong. However I'll be damned if I give a part of myself to that monster to keep, especially a part I've had to grow and will have to give birth too. It will be mine in a sense that it will never, ever, be his. Though I know in my heart I will not be able to accept it as my child. The moment I found out I was pregnant my mind immediately spoke the name "Rose". If I can escape this place with Jacob and this child she is who I will give the child too. Rose would never turn down the offer. My parents might not be able to accept the child either, potentially, but I know they would be disappointed if I left it behind. Planning an escape however hardly crossed my mind as I decided to protect what was left of my sanity for the sake of Jacob. Besides that I had no idea where to start and any plans Amina might have had died along with her and her brother.

To think about loss at a time like this was time spent wasted. Not only was I a new mother but an expecting woman as well now and my mind was constantly sent in a million directions as I tried desperately to find a safe place in this pit of despair. A place where I could feel an ounce of security for my son and myself. Killian no longer visited as he was not allowed to care for me even though he is considered the best Doctor within The Kingdom of The Underground, an argument I had had with Dane on multiple occasions that always went nowhere as he did not care to give me what I wanted. The death of his only Werewolf child made him a disgrace to the public once their treason was announced to the people. I badly wanted to ask Stella about him, just to know how he was holding up as I could not imagine losing half of your family in the blink of an eye as he did. However I knew asking Stella about her father would upset her and I couldn't bring myself to bestow an ounce more of pain upon her regardless of my curiosity.

The nights were hard as I was constantly having to wake to eat, feed or take care of Jacob Jr.. I refused however to complain and pushed through my exhaustion not allowing anyone to help. Priah had backed off as it was my only request when Dane asked what I needed from him to make this pregnancy as smooth of a process as possible without Killian being involved and for that I was thankful. Though she was always the one who would come to collect Jacob Jr. whenever Dane decided it was his time with Jacob and she always made sure to wipe clean my kisses and kiss both his cheeks in front of me. A small display of her narcissistic personality. I did my best to try not to let it bother me but it only took minutes before I fell to the ground and cried each time he left. The image of these demons raising my son instead of my family haunted me day and night. Jacob deserved so much better than the fake loves the two of them had to offer.

As the morning, or I suppose I should say night, came Stella came with it as usual with a small team of women who set up my small breakfast buffet. I had been awake perhaps the whole night and it was getting near impossible to hide my exhaustion.

"Queen Renesmee? Is everything alright? Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. Everything is fine. Thank you for asking Stella. How are you?" I asked in response without thinking.

"Um-I-"

"You don't have to answer that. Thank you for breakfast, please thank the chef for me."

"Of course…"

"Stella?"

"Yes?

"What is that?" I asked looking at my cup as I realized I was not drinking the blood of Killian instantly.

"Do you mean… Who?" Stella replied sheepishly.

"Sorry… Yes, who?"

"Yuskia, she's offered to... To replace my Father as your donor."

"What? Why?"

"Because well... He…" Stella stumbled to find the words before finally blurting out, "My father has been imprisoned. Alpha Dane no longer trusts him to be your blood donor." Stella replied, her voice breaking slightly.

"What? Killian is the best man I know in this hell hole. What could he have possibly done to warrant imprisonment?"

"I'm sorry Queen Renesme but I can not discuss it any further. I'm sure I'll receive a whipping for even mentioning it in the first place." Stella replied, her eyes wondering blankly as if she couldn't care less if she was to be punished. "Here, why don't I take Jacob while you eat?" Stella continued once she snapped back from her blank stare.

I was hesitant at first as Stella rarely took the initiative to care for Jacob without being asked, however I decided the longer she stayed in my sight the less of an opportunity there would be for her to be punished for sharing information pertaining to her Father. Killian had had a clean record from my understanding amongst the Kingdom of The Underground for his entire life. Dane most likely was only imprisoning him to further show his power as stepping on someone even as well respected and liked as Killian amongst his people certainly let them know who he truly was and what he was capable of becoming in order to get his way. A disgusting tactic that I imagine will be his undoing one day. If not that, then certainly the wrath of my husband and family will certainly do him in.

"Queen Renesmee?"

"Please don't call me Queen Stella, I am not your Queen."

"Priah has requested an audience with you after you eat. She says she would like to speak with you about a few things, she'd like me to watch Jacob so the two of you can discuss what will become of this new child."

"Does she insist Jacob stay with you?" I replied, swallowing a bite of food hard as a lump of sadness grew in the back of my throat.

Stella's face blushed with embarrassment as she wrapped Jacob up tightly and laid him in his bassinet. I realized I might have offended her slightly but I hated to be without my baby. Though he had grown quite fat in his four months of life he was most definitely worth the back pain, carrying him made me forget what I was carrying in my womb and lightened my heart in situations where I felt desperate to find some sort of end to the torture that was this awful chapter of my life.

"Yes. I apologize but she was quite clear that I was to stay and watch the handsome young prince." Stella said with a smile as she ran a finger down Jacobs cheek. "He will be as safe with me as he would have been with Amina. I promise you that Quee- Renesmee."

"I know… It's not that, I just… I hate to be without him." I whispered as a tear fell from my eye.

"I know… Just do a lot of listening and agree to whatever she says that should make it go by quick and help make it as painless as possible. That's how I've survived this place since my Mother's death." Stella said quietly, her eyes going blank once more.

"Okay, I'll try that. Thank you Stella." I said before I finished my tall glass of Yuskia's blood.

I held Jacobs head to my lips as I waited for Priah to send a guard or show up herself to collect me. Thankfully she came herself and I hoped we could save time talking while we walked to cut down on whatever conversation it was she wanted to have. Unfortunately she was silent as the night as she took me through the halls of the castle. Each path we took held memories of myself with Amina and some with Killian. It broke my heart to remember her smile. The light she brought to this dark place could never be replaced, a fact myself and her entire family are quite aware of. Finally we came upon a small seating area outside with a glass of warmed blood for me I assumed though I would not drink it if she offered. I was full enough and the last thing I wanted was to accept a gift for this wretched woman.

"Please, take a seat."

"Stella said you'd like to discuss the future of this child."

"Straight to business then huh?" Priah chuckled lightly, "Of course, the future Alpha of The Underground is the first in 82 years to be born from Alpha Dane's bloodline. You have no idea how important this child will be to our people." Priah continued with a smile, her wrinkles making her look like a scary old teacher from a Hollywood film.

"What's wrong with his other children?" I asked, realizing how strange it was that some one his age and in his position didn't have any children that I knew of.

"Not a single one survived infancy. It's been rather heartbreaking for our kind as he is the last of the first line of Werewolves ever to have contracted Lycanthropy within their bloodstream. We within The Underground, have made it our life's mission as the Vampire from your world have hunted us to near extinction to rebuild our kinds ancient lineage and now, with you, we finally have hope."

"Do they know Jacobs not his?" I shot back.

"Jacob is his in all ways that should matter to someone in your position." Priah snapped, her smile fading now, "However, yes our Werewolf population is suspicious though they do not care as it has been a long time since anyone has seen Dane quite so filled with joy."

"What happened to the rest of his wives after they lost their children?" I asked quietly.

"They where simply re-matched and breed with other werewolves to create more of our kind. I was the last wife of Alpha Dane. His last true love perhaps." Piah smiled, looking off into the distance as she spoke, sipping from her cup which contained some sort of horrible smelling alcohol mixture.

"How could you be okay with this? If you love him, how could you let him do this to me?" I questioned my heart beating now with anger and confusion.

"Love is a dangerous thing. A dark thing if you let it be so. Sometimes a deeper thing than what a human or a Vampire could ever understand. Furthermore love isn't my motivation nor my deciding factor. Survival is." Priah said her eyes locked in on mine now. "Survival of the bloodline that created my species. Since I was a girl I've known in my heart that I would do anything to protect and extend the ancient bloodline."

"So all of this, a life torn to shreds, a daughter ripped from her family, a son taken from his father before he was even born, for the continuation of a bloodline? What if it doesn't survive? What if it dies just like your children and all the children before it-" I began to shout but was taken back by the sting of my face being smacked by the back of Pariah's hand.

I was shocked and hyperventilating as I straightened myself in my chair and ran my hand over my cheek. When I looked at her finally I could see her eyes were challenging me asking me to engage in a fight, she wanted a reason to continue to fight me. The pain from my cheek left quickly as my body always healed quicker when I had freshly consumed human blood. I watched her until she left my gaze annoyed that I would not engage in further acts of violence I'm sure.

"I wouldn't expect a mutt to understand anymore then I would expect a human to understand such a duty."

I wanted to keep quiet but I couldn't as rage began to fill me the second I heard the word "mutt".

"My family will go to the Volturi, they will find this place, it's only a matter of time." I said as threateningly as possible.

"The Volturi? That some kind of big bad Vampire gang? We've survived hidden for over 400 years. If these Volturi Vampires knew we were here, do you not think they wouldn't have come and whipped us out already?"

I was shocked to know Priah, the head of all the military among The Underground hadn't heard of the Volturi. At the moment I could decide if it was a good or a bad thing. If the Volturi did find out about this place they would burn it all to the ground, Werewolves and Humans alike.

"Perhaps no ones been dumb enough to kidnap the granddaughter of one of the most well known and well liked coven leaders in the known history of Vampirism."

"So mighty, huh? Then tell me where are they? It's been over four months now. You're well on your way to being a mother of two and they are nowhere to be found."

"They're coming. It's only ever been a matter of when not if. And you're all gonna die." I let out.

Priah back handed me once more and I couldn't help but laugh this time. I was exhausted and this conversation had gone nowhere.

"Yuskia believes this child will potentially be born during or before the next Blood Moon. We will need to begin preparations for the events surrounding the moons event as well as the birth of the future Alpha." Priah continued, her cheeks flushed with anger.

"What does a Blood Moon have to do with anything?"

"That is for me to know. Though you must know if you ever try to escape again, it will be your heart being feed to your son that my people will watch. Kindness is in short supply for repeat offenders. How do you think Killian got himself locked up for good this time?" Priah warned.

"Killian and Stella are the only one's among you worth saving." I shot back anticipating another blow.

As I said those words I immediately didn't mean them. There are hundreds of innocents amongst The Underground. In my time before my current pregnancy I had met many of the humans who live among Dane's Kingdom. They are all incredibly kind and pleasant as any group of humans comes, it's a shame they're stuck under the rule of a man like Dane. Unable to ever enjoy the thrill of the outside world. Unable to escape this underground prison.

"Killian his a suicidal, melodramatic, complete waste of talent and potential." Priah continued rolling her eyes at my comment.

"Suicidal? Can you blame him? You've taken everything from him! You killed his children and forced me to-"

"I forced you to do nothing. No one did. You choose to save your son over Killian's peace. That was your choice. Not mine. Not Danes. Besides, my Daughter wasted her life loving that man and in the end he killed her. I have no sympathy for Killian Cook nor any of his offspring. Though Grayson did hold the most potential until it was revealed he unfortunately had the same weakness for the "underdogs" I suppose you could say, as his father does."

Another shock to my system, Amina never mentioned Priah was her maternal grandmother and from what I understood Aminas mother died in childbirth during a natural birth to twins that did not survive. It had nothing to do with Killian though he was the attending doctor he was not equipped with the right tools to save their mother. Something that I know still kills Killian to this day despite his continued dedication to his craft. Of course it added up that Priah would blame Killian for this as she most definitely was the evil mother in law type.

"Can I leave now?" I asked, not wanting to waste another second with this monster.

"Get out of my sight." Priah replied as she continued to drink her alcohol mixture.

I wasted no time as I gathered myself and left with the guards back to my room. I spared no time wasting my breath with goodbye either as in truth Priah was always breathing down my neck to some extent, never truly gone in a matter that was as unsettling as they came.

As I walked to my room I couldn't help but imagine what the Volturi would do to this place, to these people. The loss would be devastating and I would be the only one to truly feel it as I am the only one with a connection to the humans of this underground world. Stella, Killian, Yuskia, they were all as good as dead if the Volturi and my family arrived. The assumption that they might carry and pass on the Lycian gene alone would be enough to wipe everyone of them clean from the earth. From the least to the most vulnerable they would not survive what might be coming from them. Then again, this amount of Werewolves in one area and area unknown by Vampire kind all together, that alone could pose a serious threat to anyone who came to my rescue. If only there were a way to speak to my family… To warn them…