A/N: As I rewrite this story, I'm confronted again with the fact that Grissom and Sara will inevitably divorce. Something I still don't think would have happened without the pressure of writers in need of a reason for why Sara could stay in Vegas while Grissom was not around. These next few chapters will lay that groundwork for why and what could have led to the eventual estrangement between the two after such a blissful reunion. Let me know what you think in the comments!
The rest of February into March proved to be the stuff of honeymoon bliss. The newly weds finished the Mexican stint of their trip and set out for France. Once there they had two weeks to explore before Grissom was set to report to the Sorbonne to begin his guest lecture series. The pair traveled throughout France, from remote regions in the north back through the south. Toward the end of those two weeks, they found themselves back in Paris and set themselves up in a quaint apartment a short walk from the Sorbonne.
And while Grissom prepared himself to step back into a professor role, Sara found herself eager to find scientific work to fill her days. Which is exactly what she found in The French National Centre for Scientific Research where she secured herself a part time research position with the help of Pierre and his connections there.
There was something so wonderful about living in Paris with Grissom. Something she thought at one point in time, she may never experience. A cut of civilian domestic bliss. The pair walked to the markets together, cooked meals side by side, sat on their small balcony enjoying wine as the evenings would wind down.
"Hello dear." Grissom spoke as he dropped his briefcase and made his way to the kitchen, kissing her on the cheek. He'd just returned from his first day of teaching to find Sara cooking dinner, "Whatever you're cooking smells amazing."
Another element of life an old version of Sara would be hard pressed to believe. Her cooking. She could easily recall the countless years that contained a diet full of takeout food, unable to even consider engaging in the domesticated act of cooking. But she had changed in so many ways since then.
"How was your first day?"
"Incredible." He glowed easily, "You'll have to come by some time and meet the other professors. The students are a bit greener than I expected, but it will give me a change to re-learn how to teach the basics."
"Have you seen Pierre?"
"Yes. He and Melanie would like to have us over for dinner next week." Sara laughed at this, "What?" He cocked his head to the side in confusion.
"Nothing—nothing… It's just so… normal."
His thin lips turned up slightly, "How so?"
"Could you imagine us doing this in Vegas?"
"No." He agreed readily, "But I think I rather like it."
"Me too." She smiled thinking of how far they'd come—in distance, in their relationship, emotionally. She kissed his lips softly, "Go relax, dinner will be ready shortly."
A short while later the pair was sat on their balcony enjoying the meal Sara had prepared.
"In addition to the research role, I also just signed on to consult with the PCL… The Paris Crime Lab."
Grissom's eyes narrowed in surprise and perhaps even concern, "You did?"
"I know." She agreed with his unspoken words, "But I think it's a good step to get my feet wet again. Eventually when we return to the states, if we go back to Vegas, it might make sense to rejoin the lab." She watched as confusion filled his eyes. "You uh… you don't want to return to Vegas?"
"Well… I'm just a bit caught off guard." He pinched the bridge of his nose momentarily, "I didn't realize that was where your head was."
"Okay…" Sara spoke hesitantly, realizing this was a larger conversation they perhaps should have had. "You know, I just thought that if we do get pregnant, I just assumed we would return to the U.S."
"That's a fair point. But Vegas? The lab? I don't know… I feel like when I left, I left."
"We still own our condo there."
He nodded. Maybe that's what had given her the idea that he was on the same page.
"And it would be nice to be closer to your mother, the Crows, the team…Look." She added after continued awkward silence, "This is nothing we need to decide anytime soon, right? So, let's just enjoy the journey we're on right now, and we'll figure out our next moves when that time comes."
He nodded, but she could see his head swirling with the floodgates that were now opened. There was an awful pit in his stomach and he couldn't quite shake it.
Over the next few months Sara and Grissom milked their experience in Paris of all it was worth and each enjoyed their work immensely. Especially Sara. Consulting for the Paris Crime Lab reinvigorated her criminalist mind in ways she didn't think was possible anymore. But they knew the time would come to an end soon enough. Grissom's teaching position was only contracted through August, they would need to decide what was next.
And as the months passed, they continued to try for a baby. Sara was tracking her basal temperature, taking supplements, eating right. She was doing everything in her power and yet, no pregnancy.
"It'll happen when it happens. Younger couples then us take years to conceive." Grissom would reassure her each month. But Sara was beginning to feel a bit depleted by the rollercoasters of emotions. The endless two week wait each month between ovulating and, the eventual negative test.
After a few discussions over the course of the past couple of months, Grissom and Sara decided to apply for a research grant in California. They wrote up the proposal together and the idea of which brought Grissom back on board to being in the U.S. again.
"The grant application status has been updated to processing!" Grissom spoke excitedly as he entered the bedroom to find Sara towel drying her hair. Her silk robe loosely tied around her body.
"That's great, but you know—it could still take months for it to be approved, even at this stage."
"I know." He nodded and moved toward her, his soft hands found their way under the silk robe, snaking around her waist. "That's why in the meantime, I've taken up another semester teaching at the Sorbonne."
Her head snapped up toward him, brows furrowed, "You did?"
"I did." He said excitedly, causing her to soften. He loved having students again, loved being a professor. She didn't want to take that away from him, but she wasn't convinced that she wanted to spend potentially another six months in France as they awaited the fate of the research grant… and continued to try for a child. The pressure of which was starting to mount on her.
Her thoughts dissipated quickly as she felt his bearded jaw trail along her still wet neck, kissing her softly behind her ear, working his way downward. She sucked in a sharp breath as he pushed himself against her so she could feel the weight of his arousal. Her chin lifted upward, giving him more space to trail kisses along her neck, down her collar bone. His hands pushed her robe off her shoulders, letting it land in a heap on the floor. She stood their naked before him as he gazed at her.
"God, Sara." He looked at her in awe, "I never thought I could be this happy."
She smiled softly, watching as he took his shirt off. She took a step backward and let her legs hit the edge of the bed, sitting, waiting for him to join her.
She moved back toward the middle of the bed as he climbed on top of her. His hands roaming over her face, through her hair. His icy blue eyes focused squarely on her brown orbs as he entered her. He loved watching her eyes in that moment. Loved to watch as the brown hue darkened with intensity, loved to watch as her mouth fell slightly agape at the feeling of him filling her. He leaned down and kissed her with all the pent up love he felt in that moment.
He slowly moved inside her, taking his time. He was bubbling over with love. Each time he thought he'd met his peak of experiencing love for her, another day would pass and he'd love her more than the last.
"Sara…" He whispered as he continued to move methodically. "Sara…" He spoke again, more desperation laced his voice. She looked back up at him as she let the ecstasy wash over her.
Afterward they laid together, breath still ragged. Her head laying on his bare chest, her fingers tracing circles over his abdomen.
"What if this works." His voice was almost a whisper.
"What's that?"
"You know, if this time… if in nine months…"
"Yeah." Her voice trailed. It had been nearly seven months now. And while she knew it wouldn't happen immediately, she was becoming exhausted with the hope that each month would bring.
September 2009
"Bonjour, ceci est Sara." Sara answered the phone as she put on her running shoes. She'd just been on her way out the door for a jog.
"Hi… Sara?"
"Yes, this is she." She switched to English quickly.
"Hey. It's uh—it's Conrad. Ecklie."
"Ecklie." She laughed softly, "What a surprise."
"You sound well, how's Parisian life?"
"Wonderful." She paused momentarily, "What can I do for you?"
"Well I was actually calling to talk to Grissom—the other Grissom. But this is the only number I had. Cath gave it to me from the last postcard. But uh—well—maybe you could help me out actually. We're looking for recommendations for a CSI hire. Grave just lost another."
"Who? What happened?" Panic suddenly filled her tone.
"No…no. Sorry. She quit."
"Oh." Relief washed over her.
"Anyway, I know it's a shot in the dark but we're really struggling to fill in qualified personnel… and keep them to be frank. We need someone ASAP."
Sara thought for a moment. She'd always felt guilty about the way she left the team. Especially the second time she left Vegas. Grave lost her, then Warrick and finally Grissom. All within a year. There was a part of her that desperately wanted to right that wrong. And, if she were to be honest with herself, she was looking at a great opportunity to run away from the latest stressor in her life, the constant monthly disappointment.
"I can't think of anyone to suggest off the bat, and I can check with Gil for you on that, but I have an idea." She began tentatively, "Why don't I come back temporarily to fill in the gap while you look for a replacement."
"Sara… are you sure?"
"Yes." She spoke with more confidence now, "Just for a few months. I've been consulting with the Paris Crime Lab, I feel completely prepared to step back into a criminalist role."
"That would be great, Sara. Really. I mean, you're saving my butt." She heard him shuffling papers, "I'll uh, make arrangements. How soon can you be here?"
"Two days okay?"
"Perfect. See you then."