Diamond Perfume Day Part 1: Kabuki Gorillas, Er Girls, Need A Girls' Day Too! (Stars Are Nice to See Any Time of Day, Even if They Are Not Stars)
1 Year Before Gintama the Final / Gintama Chapters 704
"Huh? A Diamond Perfume Night Out?" Tsukuyo asked, befuddled as she stood next to Hinowa in the tea shop Hinoya. Hinowa was sitting down with her cane next to her. They felt a light breeze rush through the sky, a welcome respite from the intense heat.
"Yep," Hinowa said cheerfully. "Shimura Otae-san told me that she wanted to plan something for her friends. You weren't here when she came to visit, so she asked me to let you know."
"Um, I don't know, Hinowa," Tsukuyo said hesitantly, "It has been a hectic year since Yoshiwara became a tourist district and ya need all the help you can get to keep smooth sailing-"
"And I already have all the help I need," Hinowa remarked gently. "Seita is here with me to run the tea shop, after all. There also are quite a bit of Oniwabanshu situated near here. And don't underestimate how well you trained the Hyakka - those girls keep the city safe on their own."
"Still," the kiseru in Tsukuyo's mouth fidgeted with her mouth. "I feel guilty taking a break … "
"Tsukuyo," Hinowa's strength in her voice made Tsukuyo look at Hinowa eye to eye. Hinowa's clear eyes stared back, with tinges of concern and lovingness concentrated on her.
"Please," Hinowa said softly. "You can't keep on working nonstop. Just one day. You're not even staying away from here overnight. So, have fun. Connect with your friends on the surface."
Tsukuyo didn't feel any real drive to go to the surface - there was no one she really wanted to see. Besides, she felt anxious about leaving Yoshiwara but what Hinowa said was true. She will still be close by if an emergency arises. And Tsukuyo rarely sees Hinowa beg her so insistently.
Tsukuyo smiled. "Okay, Hinowa. But, if something really bad happens, let me know. Ok?"
Hinowa smiled back. "Always, Tsukuyo. Always."
It was 6:30 AM. It was not yet sunrise, but Tsukuyo was already up and exiting the shop Hinoya, closing the front door behind her. For a split second, Tsukuyo thought she saw a single star in the sky before she blinked - the star was no longer there. Sunlight had taken its place.
Tsukuyo stared at where she saw the star. At times, when nothing was happening on a shift, she stretched her body out on a roof and watched the stars before taking a 5-minute power nap.
But, she was always alone. Better that way - as the Courtesan of Death, Tsukuyo would dare not let herself be vulnerable. Not even in front of Hinowa. Or in front of Gintoki.
The Hyakka Chief sighed to herself. No point in thinking about him now. To prepare herself for the day, Tsukuyo stretched her neck before starting to cross the street, walking towards the gates of Yoshiwara where Otae said Diamond Perfume will meet up for the day.
But even Otae couldn't follow her own plans. Such was the Queen of Kabuki-Cho.
"Tsukuyo!" Tsukuyo looked up, slightly startled to see Otae walking with Sarutobi and Kyubei. Otae was waving her arm hello with a smile while Sarutobi and Kyubei waved their hands.
"Otae?" Tsukuyo couldn't help but slip a small smile before her lips pursed. "Oi? What was the point of telling me to go to Yoshiwara's gates if ya were all just planning to come here?"
Otae shrugged it off. "Just wanted to come to escort you. It's Diamond Perfume Day after all!"
Tsukuyo smirked. "Diamond Perfume Day my ass …" Tsukuyo then noticed something different about Kyubei. She was dressed in her typical white jacket and blue uniform, but her hair …
"Ah, Kyubei? You cut it short?" Tsukuyo said interested. Kyubei, formerly having a ponytail, now had a tomboyish bobbish haircut; she smiled gingerly and patted her hairstyle gently.
"Well, the hair was starting to get in the way while training, and Tae-chan thought it would be good to do a little makeover," Kyubei looked a little nervous. "Do you think it looks good?"
Tsukuyo looked at Kyubei and gave an approving nod. "If ya like it, that's fine with me."
Sarutobi snorted. "Tsukuyo always trying to sounding so elegant, taking the high ground. See Kyubei, you worry too much." She tried to sound grouchy as she ruffled Kyubei's hair, but it was clear that she didn't mean a single word of what she said towards Kyubei, who blushed a little.
Otae cleared her throat. "So, shall we begin Diamond Perfume Day?"
"HELL YEAH!" Sarutobi screamed, pumping her fist. "Let's become women today!"
"Yeah … " Kyubei looked shy, "But can we have breakfast first?"
"Of course, Kyu-chan!" Otae pulled out a wooden bento box and opened it, unleashing dark fumes from the box. "I made some tamagoyaki for us four to eat today!"
6:35 AM
Kyubei was throwing up in the toilet with Otae rubbing her back with care.
"Kyu-chan! Are you ok?" Otae said so worried. "I wonder what made you sick just now…"
"Either she's a stupid bitch or a self-absorbed bitch to not know her cooking is shit," Sarutobi whispered to Tsukuyo, who found her nodding as she looked at the dark matter in Otae's box nearby. Kyubei ate first and so got sick before Sarutobi and Tsukuyo were forced to take a bite.
"Kyu-chan, are you sure you still want to do Diamond Perfume Day?"
"I'm fine now," Kyubei said with renewed vigor now that she purged the tamagoyaki from her body. "I think we should just wait until later and eat something nice then."
"If you say so, Kyu-chan," Otae looked at Sarutobi and Tsukuyo. "Is that ok? No tamagoyaki?"
"YEP! Absolutely!" Sarutobi nodded fervently. / "Um, same here," Tsukuyo said quickly.
Hinowa came out in a wheelchair with four cups of tea on a tray on her lap, silently laughing. "Thought I'd make some tea when you came here. On the house for Tsukuyo's friends."
"Thank you, Hinowa-san!" Otae cheerfully took a tea cup while extending another one to Kyubei. "I hope we weren't intruding on you coming to your tea shop like this unannounced."
"Not at all. I usually wake up early to set up this tea shop," Hinowa replied. "And it's not good for one to hold in one's vomit like that. Now, where were you girls planning to go today?"
"Well, I thought since we all have been busy the past year, Diamond Perfume should just take it easy for the day and take time to unwind," Otae said as she finished her tea. "No stress."
7:03 AM
"QUICK! The store is about to open!" Otae was dashing like a piston, her form in perfect Olympic athlete form. "There's a new kimono I need for work - and it's practically free!"
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NO STRESS!?" Sarutobi screamed as she ran in Naruto mode. "HEY! JUST BECAUSE I'M A NINJA DOESN'T MEAN I RUN LIKE NARUTO! CHANGE THAT NOW!" She screamed at the author, forcing him to change to 'sprinted' or else.
"That's better," Sarutobi said as she sprinted next to Otae. "Really, shopping? Why? Trying to overcompensate for your lack of boobs? Just drink some whole milk, cutting board."
Sarutobi dodged a kick from Otae while she was STILL running.
"Tae-chan, Sarutobi-dono, calm down." Kyubei said as she ran behind the two. "But, Tae-chan, Sarutobi-dono has a point. There's no point in just buying work kimonos at the clothing store. So, while we're there, let's buy some Goth Lolita kimonos too. Tojo gave me some coupons."
"WHO WOULD WEAR TURN-ONS ON FOR PERVERTS? WHAT, YOU'RE WORKING IN PERVS-R-US NOW?" Sarutobi screamed at Kyubei, looking disgusted and mortified.
"But, I would feel weird being the only one wearing it … and I do want it," Kyubei pouted. "Oh well, if Tae-chan doesn't want to wear it and Sarutobi and Tsukuyo-dono both don't want to …"
Tsukuyo looked uncomfortable as she ran and saw Kyubei look slightly downcast. She sighed.
7:34 AM
"Wow, Tsukuyo! You and Kyu-chan look so cute wearing these!" Otae beamed, holding a set of kimonos in one hand and her phone in another taking photos of Kyubei and Tsukuyo.
Tsukuyo looked embarrassed as she was wearing a red-green kimono with dark leaves. Kyubei looked pleasantly pleased wearing a dark blue kimono with white laces and red stripes.
"Well, I actually like this outfit. But, don't tell Tojo that," Kyubei said. She then turned to see Tsukuyo looking peeved. "Don't worry, Tsukuyo-dono. This may be nice to wear at home…"
"I doubt it. I have no inclination to wear this with Hinowa and Seita at home," Tsukuyo said, very crossed as she glared at Otae gleefully taking a few more photos on her phone.
"That's right, Tsukuyo. Women and prepubescent boys won't get impressed by this," Sarutobi spoke, trying out her fourth wedding dress in front of a mirror. "Hell, even perverts won't like that outfit. On the other hand, wedding dresses like this will captivate real men to my charms-"
"I doubt that," Tsukuyo said as she went to the changing room to get out of that kimono, cursing herself for becoming emotionally manipulated into wearing goth lolita clothing. But, as she saw Kyubei relaxed and pleased with herself, she couldn't help but get a little less crossed.
8:01 AM
As the women were approaching the line, Otae with her kimonos to wear at Snack Smile, Sarutobi with a wedding dress, and Kyubei with a Goth Lolita kimono, they all noticed that Tsukuyo didn't have a single thing with her. Tsukuyo noticed their stares and shrugged. "I don't need anything really …" Tsukuyo said casually. "I wear the same sort of clothing."
"Still, Tsukuyo, I feel bad that you're the only one not buying anything," Otae said before a lightbulb went off in her head. "At least, why not get something for Hinowa and Seita?"
Tsukuyo thought about that for a few seconds before scanning her eyes over the store. She didn't seem interested in any of the clothing, but her eyes got caught by an aisle. Wordlessly, she walked over and after standing in front of the aisle, she gingerly took a few trinkets.
Otae, Sarutobi, and Kyubei all looked to see bemusedly what Tsukuyo brought over as she came back: a jade comb with a sun symbol and a pair of small shiny sunglasses.
"I thought they were practical for Hinowa and Seita," Tsukuyo said. Sarutobi shrugged her shoulders then jested. "Like you said, High and Mighty Tsukuyo, 'If ya like it, that's fine with me.'"
8:29 AM
Diamond Perfume, finally out with their stuff after Otae haggled for discounts, walked along the street. "Well, that was a relief!" Otae said cheerfully. "Wonder what to do next?"
Kyubei nudged Tsukuyo on the shoulder. Tsukuyo glanced over to see Kyubei smile.
"Hey, remember when we were fighting the Dakini, you said you wanted to go to a boutique?"
Tsukuyo smiled - now, she remembered saying that as they fought as women alongside their friends to save their homes. "Of course, I do. Are ya suggesting what I think ya are?"
"Yep," Kyubei pointed over to a shop that had its front lined with colorful plants and flowers that look like they came from an alien movie. "I think it would be quite fun. I mean, look at the flowers outside it. They don't look like they came from Earth, anyhow - let's check it out."
"Sure," Even as she was thinking about Yoshiwara, Tsukuyo did feel less winded. "Why not?"
8:34 AM
The next few minutes were full of sneezes as Diamond Perfume escaped a cloud of pollen.
"ACHO!" / "BA-CHEW!" / "BASHO!" / "Why Basho?! A-CHEW!" / "TIMOTHY CHALAMET!"
A tall green alien with a flower on his head waved goodbye sadly. "I'M SORRY FOR THE POLLEN! I WILL SEND SOME BOUQUETS FOR YOU FOUR LADIES BY DELIVERY LATER!" Hedoro looked sheepishly at a plant which exploded in pollen due to the warm wind.
"I can't believe that flower shop! How does that Dakini guy get those plants from the Sea of Corruption? B'Z!" Otae sneezed into a red handkerchief, her eyes slightly watery.
"You tell me, Queen of Kabuki-Cho!" Sarutobi retorted with snot running. "UMA THURMAN!"
"Well, that aside, could we go to a Pancake House?" Kyubei said in a stuffy voice. "ENKA!"
"Whatever gets us out of this pollen cloud," Tsukuyo said, trying to cover her face. "A-CHEW!"
"Well, I got one in mind," Otae said as her eyes watered and she sneezed. "ULTRA SOUL!"
9:27 AM
The four women were seated in a booth, with Otae and Kyubei on one side and Tsukuyo and Sarutobi on another side. They were blowing their noses to get out the last of the pollen.
"I'm never touching these plants again," Kyubei said tiredly as she patched her swollen eye.
"You said it," Sarutobi wiped her glasses. "That shop was spraying pollen like it was glitter."
"Yeah, Hedoro's shop does that," Shinpachi stood before the booth where Diamond Perfume sat, wearing a red and white uniform, holding trays of food. "Thanks for waiting for your food."
"Thanks, Shin-chan!" Otae said. "Glad we caught you on your shift - in the morning no less!"
"No problem," Shinpachi shrugged. "But, don't think about asking for discounts, Aneue."
"Me? Never!" Aneue said even she thought, 'GOD DAMN IT, SHIN-CHAN! WE'RE FAMILY!'
"Aneue, I can see your thoughts in the sentence above me," Shinpachi said and handed over the dishes. "Anyway, here's your American pancakes with Bargain Dash sundaes. Sarutobi-san, your Souffle Set with Natto and fruit. Kyubei-san, crepes with banana models of the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon. Tsukuyo-san, your fruit salad cup with tea."
"Aw, thanks, Shinpachi. Or should I say," Sarutobi took a cherry and smirked. "Cherry Boy?"
"STOP MILKING THE VIRGIN JOKE!" Shinpachi smashed his tray onto the ground.
"Shinpachi-kun, Tae-chan told me you still run the Yorozuya alone. How is it?" Kyubei asked to change the subject. "It seems like it's helping you to mature a lot lately. Is it hard?"
"It's all right, actually. Not a lot of money comes in at the end, but it's enough to help Otose-san cover the expenses for the repairs with a little pocket money on the side to buy Otsu's CDs." Shinpachi's face then looked serious even as he still smiled. "Besides, I gotta keep the fort ready. For when Gin-san and Kagura-chan with Sadaharu come back home…"
Everyone at the table grew silent or stopped eating. Tsukuyo in particular had a stone face while Sarutobi looked slightly mopey. The mood got like that when the subject revolved around Gintoki and Kagura, who both left Edo last year for personal missions. Without them, Edo felt … quiet.
"Still not a word, huh?" Tsukuyo asked somewhat tritely. Shinpachi nodded, regretting that he brought up a touchy subject. "Well, please enjoy your meal. Call me when you're done."
Shinpachi quickly left, leaving Diamond Perfume by themselves, still sullen and silent.
"Wow, the pollen is really strong," Tsukuyo went and blew her nose hard for pollen. She hoped no one noticed that her eyes, which were slightly red from the pollen, moistened again.
"Yeah," Sarutobi said brusquely. "Damn pollen is getting all over my eyes." She took off her glasses and pretended to wipe them, feebly trying to hide the tears coming to her eyes. Kyubei looked with pity at the two women and then at Otae at a loss for words, who sighed.
"Well, let's eat then." Otae said with a forced cheerfulness and faint smile. "My treat today."
10:10 AM
"Thanks for the meal, Shin-chan!" Otae said as she handed back the check to Shinpachi. She was standing before the counter where Shinpachi was standing with the cashier box.
"I'm glad," Shinpachi then whispered as if he didn't want the rest of Diamond Perfume to hear from a distance, "Aneue, sorry for bringing up Gin-san and Kagura-chan during today. I-"
"It's ok, Shin-chan," Otae looked at Shinpachi kindly as she cut him off. "We all miss them a lot."
They both glanced at Tsukuyo, who was squabbling with Sarutobi about natto vs fruits.
10:15 AM
"Now what?" Tsukuyo asked as she lit her kiseru. "It's only after 10."
"Fear not, Diamond Perfume." Otae had a grin on her face. "The real fun begins."
11:02 AM
The bowling room was in havoc, with Otae gleefully wrecking the bowling alleys even as she hit consecutive strike after strike. The owner looked in horror to see his property being destroyed.
"My bowling alley!" The middle aged man then turned to see Kyubei slashing a Fruit Samurai arcade machine in half with her sword and looking at the owner innocently. "Hm, that's funny. I cut the fruits open with a sword, so shouldn't I have won now?" She wondered out loud.
"THAT'S NOT HOW FRUIT SAMURAI WORKS!" The man pulled at his beard and groaned as he saw Tsukuyo and Sarutobi doing Whack-a-Mole … with their kunai from a distance.
"Well, Tsukuyo," Sarutobi grinned viciously. "I didn't think you'd do a game like this."
"I didn't want to," Tsukuyo murmured, "but you were getting on my nerves wanting to play."
"I only said that you wouldn't know how to play games without smut in them," Sarutobi smirked.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NOW?" The red-faced owner ran over to the two girls.
"SHE STARTED IT!" Sarutobi pointed at Tsukuyo and ran, laughing maniacally as Tsukuyo got flustered being left in the dust. Alas, both Sarutobi didn't get far as she suddenly got caught in an explosive blast, which further wrecked the poor owner's arcade. "ACK!" She screamed.
From the smoke of the burning ruins, Sougo walked out, holding a bazooka in his arm. "That's a nono, Miss. You can't bail out of public property after damaging it without paying." He smirked.
"Easy for you to say, you bitch!" Sarutobi growled, her hair frizzy and in an afro. Her clothes were singed. "Cops aren't supposed to cause more damage than the crooks they're chasing!"
"See, you admitted that you're a crook," Sougo smirked. / "*!" shouted Sarutobi.
By then, the owner was on the verge of becoming a Super Saiyan with all the anger rising within him manifesting as energy. The Diamond Perfume gang took this as a hint to run for it, leaving Sougo alone to deal with the now furious owner and the ruins of a prominent arcade alley.
"Shucks," Sougo sighed as he called Kondo on the phone. 'Damn Gorillas made me a patsy.'
"YOU SHUT UP!" The owner screamed back. "You ruined my arcade with the First Impact! I hope when that politician Donald Zuramp comes to power, he kicks you crooks out of Edo!"
"Man," Sougo crossed his arms, "Man, when will Boss come back?"
11:15 AM
"Ya think you could have left me to take the blame, huh?!" Tsukuyo was grabbing Sarutobi by the collar and shaking her, with Kyubei trying to break the fighting apart. They were in a cab, with Otae in the shotgun seat and a hyperactive pink-haired woman in the driver's seat.
All except Kyubei didn't care that the cab was driving super fast, with all the windows down.
"Ergh!" Kyubei was looking a little sick. "Can we slow down, um, Mach-san?"
"It's Mahha-san, actually!" the driver shouted over the wind coming in from the car. "And sorry I can't! I always have to be moving fast and feel the wind in my face, or I'll die!"
"Well, we'll get to the beach in no time then!" Otae shouted joyfully. "I'm glad we caught you!"
"I'M GLAD TOO!" The driver Mahha screamed joyfully as she felt the wind in her face. Kyubei groaned and had to lean back in her seat even as Tsukuyo and Sarutobi were duking it out.
12:01 PM
Kyubei finally came out of the bathroom, having barfed everything out of her system. She was wearing a black one-piece swimsuit, with Otae behind her wearing a pink one-piece swimsuit.
"Good grief, you really packed a full day into our schedule," Tsukuyo noted to Otae, her hair tied in a ponytail and dressed in a black two-piece swimsuit. Sarutobi nodded as she straightened her white two-piece bikini. "What happened to a relaxing day with nothing to do?"
"It's not good for a woman to do nothing in her spare time," Otae said as she eyed a volleyball court. "We need to keep our minds occupied and our bodies tough, especially your truly, the -"
"We get it," Sarutobi mocked her with a nasal voice. "The Future Queen of Kabuki-Cho." She rolled her eyes. "The only Queen you'll be is over gorillas when you marry the Gorilla Chief."
"Says the one whose nickname is Monkey," Otae said with a smug look on her face.
Cue Sarutobi trying to slash Otae with a kunai while Otae retaliated with a kick, culminating in a fight between the two. Kyubei and Tsukuyo were ignored as they observed.
"Oi, me and Kyubei will save the volleyboard court." Tsukuyo said as she walked away, putting her hand on Kyubei's shoulder to lead her from the fight. "Good grief. I don't get why those two act like kids all the time. You and I have work we need to do," Tsukuyo vented to Kyubei.
Kyubei was silent for a moment. "Even so, I can't always think about the Yagyu clan's future nor can you think about Yoshiwara all the time. Tae-chan and Sarutobi do go overboard, true but…" She looked back warmly at Otae and Sarutobi, still fighting. "I think it's really cool that they don't let anything weigh them down. Would be nice to live like that, even just a little bit."
"I wouldn't know about that," Tsukuyo could only say.
12:29 PM
The volleyball court was cratered with little flames in the sand. Beachgoers ran away or stood in horror as they saw Otae standing in front of the net with fire in her eyes.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! See the power of Diamond Perfume! No, the power of the Queen of Kabuki-Cho!" Otae crackled with her hands up in the air, not caring that the volleyball court net was burning. Behind her, Sarutobi and Tsukuyo stood unimpressed with Kyubei cheering her on.
"NOT SO FAST, EARTHLINGS!" Diamond Perfume turned around to see four humanoids with Spirals where their heads should be. On their chests read, "HAIL THE SPIRAL!"
"You human females are impressive, but your power holds no candle to the power of the Spiral! We have given birth to awesome works like Gurren Lagoon, Yuzumaki, and Gyogyo's Wonderful Adventures with our spirals. You cannot defeat the power of the spiral!" The humanoids posed in dramatic effect with their arms twirling in circles. "But we will relish a challenge if you are able!"
Otae grinned and cracked her knuckles. "Bring it on, Spirals."
12:34 PM
The match ended too soon. All because all of Diamond Perfume 'accidentally' launched volleyballs into the groins of the four Spirals, leaving them on their knees in pain.
"My marvelous stick!" A Spiral groaned. "The only non-Spiral part of my body!"
"AH!" Another Spiral cried out. "Who would take our curved d* and love them now?!"
"Yoshiwara might find use for your curved d," Tsukuyo said deadpan.
"There you go again, advertising Yoshiwara's businesses," Sarutobi tsked tsked. "But what would a virgin like you who couldn't sell her own body know about smut?"
"Well, no disrespect intended," a third Spiral interjected. "But my Spiral energy levels are telling me that all four of you ladies are virgins, so you really have no right to mock her virginity-"
"SHUT UP!" Sarutobi kicked the third Spiral in the groin again. "AH! My penis is double curled now!" The poor Spiral screamed in pain, but Diamond Perfume was already gone.
1:01 PM
Tsukuyo laid back on the blanket that Diamond Perfume set out - she stayed behind to watch over their small bags and didn't bother opening an umbrella. Otae was rummaging through seastones and breaking them into dust if they displeased her. While Kyubei was following her for a good part of the search, she later went and joined Sarutobi trying to build a sand model that looked a lot like Gintoki. Kyubei seemed to be laughing quite a bit seeing Sarutobi's poor attempts with Sarutobi doing nothing more than just scowling and starting yet again.
Tsukuyo sighed and laid back. She found it inconceivable to be at the beach while the Hyakka were working hard - but it was relaxing to just feel the soft sand below her under the soft towel. Now that she thought about it, she didn't get to sleep very well for some time. So, Tsukuyo put on some sunglasses and looked at the sky above her. She saw a flock of seagulls fly in the blue sky - kinda like little stars in the blue sky. It was a nice sight in the sky.
'I wish you were here to see this, Gintoki,' Tsukuyo found herself thinking to her surprise. Truthfully, she didn't think much about Gintoki for the past year even though he left without saying goodbye to anyone in Kabuki-Cho. It was busy enough working to maintain Yoshiwara's status as an independent tourist district. But, now with so much time on her hands today, Tsukuyo didn't feel comfortable. The time felt empty, infinite without Gintoki here to make his stupid jokes followed up with something genuinely funny. Or genuinely kind.
But, it was stupid to think about that. Wasn't it?
Tsukuyo laid back and focused on counting what she saw in the summer sky. It helped her keep her senses and wits sharp when she was resting, to not completely lose her guard and focus on something else. A seagull, two seagulls, three seagulls, a plane in the sky, two small clouds…
"Oh my god!" "Poor Tsukuyo-dono! We should have paid better attention."
Hearing voices, Tsukuyo opened her eyes and sat up. "What time is it? How long was I out?!"
"Relax, Tsukuyo," Sarutobi said even as she mysteriously suppressed a smirk. "It's 2:30 PM."
Tsukuyo took off her sunglasses and saw little smiles on Sarutobi, Otae, and Kyubei.
"What's going on?" Tsukuyo demanded as Otae and Sarutobi both began to giggle madly. Even Kyubei couldn't help but chuckle as she pulled out her phone and opened it.
"Sorry, Tsukuyo-dono. I guess we should have gotten better sunscreen," Kyubei said as she set the mirror-like phone screen before Tsukuyo, who looked at the screen.
To her shock, she saw that her entire face and body was tanned. Badly - like bright red.
"Aww, you have to be kidding me. Well, guess Ah'm the dolt for forgetting that I lived without sunlight for some good 10 years," Tsukuyo groaned and subconsciously slapped her forehead. "OW!" The sting from the forehead reminded her that she was badly burnt.
"And we had an umbrella too," Otae said sympathetically to Tsukuyo who got up. "Well, I guess we should have been more proactive with checking on you. Sorry."
"Well, don't sweat it. I dealt with worse things than some sunburn." Tsukuyo said calmly. That was when a poorly thrown curveball from a clumsy child hit Tsukuyo on her red-colored back.
3:30 PM
After getting a taxi and Sarutobi and Kyubei barely restraining Tsukuyo from throwing her kunai at the child who threw the ball, Diamond Perfume was back at Edo. Supposedly due to living underground for many years in Yoshiwara, Tsukuyo's skin was very sensitive. And no amount of Aloe Vera applied on Tsukuyo could ease the discomfort she felt from her skin. She had to forgo wearing her fishnet stockings and wore her clothes a little loose to help her skin breathe.
"What should we do?" Kyubei worriedly looked at Tsukuyo's increasingly peeved face as she whispered to Otae. "We should try to make Tsukuyo-dono better before we send her home. After all, the last thing we want to do is make her regret leaving Yoshiwara today."
"Hmm," Otae had her right fist under her chin in contemplation. "There is a spa that I went to. I went there when Kagura-chan got sunburned real bad and it helped her get better."
"I told ya," Tsukuyo said stubbornly, "I don't need to go to a spa. I'll just go home and -"
"- and what? Work it off?" Sarutobi said to everyone's surprise. "You're doing nobody, especially Hinowa, a favor by going home like that. So, get over your workaholic ass and come with us."
Taken aback by Sarutobi's firmness, Tsukuyo only looked confused by Sarutobi before sighing and nodding to Otae and Kyubei's relief. "All right, I'll go. But then, I'm going home."
4:47 PM
"See? Isn't this nice, Tsukuyo?" Otae said from her bed as she laid on her back with a towel covering her and a cucumber mask covering her face. She was smiling very relaxedly.
"Easy for you to say," Tsukuyo said, muffled as she was unceremoniously stuffed inside a human sized cucumber and placed next to Otae. She glared at Sarutobi snickering as she took a photo with her phone, lying on her stomach with a layer of warm natto placed on her back.
"When I come out of this thing, that photo better be deleted, or I'll kill ya," Tsukuyo said coldly.
"Too late! Sent it to ya Hinowa!" Sarutobi cackled, promoting Kyubei next to her to frown. Kyubei was covered from toe to neck with banana peels and lying on her back on a bed.
"Sarutobi-dono," Kyubei said with mild disapproval, "Don't you think that's a little mean?"
"Oh please," Sarutobi said unfazed, "A little teasing won't hurt Tsukuyo."
"It doesn't. But, this" Tsukuyo retorted. "I'm only not bursting out of this stupid cucumber because the attendants told me I needed to stay here for an hour."
What Tsukuyo won't admit was that she actually liked the coolness of the vegetable's insides, which cooled her skin and made it moister again after a day in the dry summer. In such a refreshing setting, Tsukuyo found it easier to listen to Sarutobi and Otae bickering in stride.
But, something still felt off no matter what Tsukuyo tried to do. Why?
5:55 PM
"Boy! That was quite a day!" Otae stretched her arms as she looked at Tsukuyo, whose skin looked a lot less red. "And you look a lot better! I told you this spa was great!"
Tsukuyo concededly shrugged her shoulders. Her clothes didn't feel so prickly on her now.
"How about we go by Snack Smile and grab something to eat?" Otae suggested. "As the head host, I can get anything there we want on the house. You too Tsukuyo."
"I don't know," Tsukuyo opened her phone to check for messages. "I think I should go back-"
"Oh come on," Otae pleaded. "Just one hour before you go, just one hour."
"Wait, Tae-chan," Kyubei interrupted. "Maybe we should call it a day and let Tsukuyo-dono and Sarutobi-dono go home. We can still go there together and have fun at the Snack Smile."
"But who knows when we'll spend time like this again?" Otae pouted.
"Nice try," Tsukuyo dryly said. "But ya crocodile tears won't make me come."
"She got you there, Gorilla-lady," Sarutobi grinned with her arms crossed.
"All right," Otae conceded. "I did take you all over the place today and left you with a sunburn. I guess it's only fair that you should go home when you want to." She pulled out a package and opened it. "At least, take a bonbon that I got from the spa before we split up."
Otae offered the open box to Tsukuyo, who absentmindedly took one bonbon to appease Otae.
"All right, I appreciate ya trying to include me in, but I feel done for today," Tsukuyo said as she popped the bonbon piece in her mouth. "But, the sugar will be a good way to keep me up."
Neither of them noticed the white label on the box side, which read as follows:
ALCOHOL CONTENT - NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN OR LIGHTWEIGHT ADULTS