«You know I love you, Donna»
Donna didn't expect that, but more importantly, she didn't expect what was coming next. As usual, Harvey had thrown out this sentence that left the redhead upset and speechless. I love you? What did that even mean? I love you like a sister? Like a best friend? Like the love of my life? Again, he was gone, leaving Donna alone in the middle of the living room, completely lost, and her mouth slightly open. If she remained frozen, when she heard the door to slam, she reconnected to reality and ran towards the hall before opening the door and calling out to him.
«Harvey»
Seeing him turn around, Donna understood that she was either going to win everything tonight, or lose everything. The lawyer wasn't the type to talk about his emotions, and what she was about to do was impossible for him, and he knew it.
«Love me how?»
«Donna, I —»
« Love me how? »
As he remained silent, Donna sighed, then looked at her feet before whispering.
«I'm sick of not knowing»
«I don't know what to tell you, Donna»
«The truth. I need to know that I'm not waiting for nothing because, right now, I feel like I'm wasting my time hoping that one day you'll be ready, but I'm tired of waiting, I feel like I'm wasting my life»
«What do you mean?»
«I mean, I love you, and I've been since we met in that bar. When I almost lost everything in those last days, I started questioning everything, what I was going to do, what could happen to me, and what I really wanted. Often, it was you that I saw, but if you're not ready and you know you never will be, please tell me, so I can stop hoping, because telling me that you love me and leaving, it hurts»
«You love me?»
«I'm in love with you, that's even worse»
As soon as Donna had finished her sentence, Harvey had turned around, grabbed Donna's head in his hands, and kissed her passionately, letting ten years of frustration and restraint explode between the two of them. After that, the two had spent the night together, not sleeping for a second, enjoying each other's bodies for hours, making up for lost time, until they fell back, exhausted next to each other, with the first rays of sunlight on their faces. That morning, they had a deep conversation where they had talked about their feelings and what they wanted to do with their future, until Donna, snuggled up to him, whispered.
«Let's keep that to ourselves»
«What?»
«People won't understand»
«What do you mean?»
«I'm your secretary, Harvey»
«So what?»
«You know how people will talk if they know I'm banging my boss»
«You're not banging your boss, you're in a relationship with him»
«Exactly»
«Donna, people have always talked and —»
« — and it's always been complicated, but it was rumor, but now, it's concrete. I don't want to be the slut who sleeps with her boss to keep her job»
«You know it's not true»
«I know, you know, but they don't. So, please, let's keep it to ourselves»
«Whatever you want, Donna»
«Thank you»
After that, the two of them kissed and stayed under the sheets all morning, finally falling asleep, Harvey on his back, Donna snuggled against him, her leg thrown over his, her arm around his torso, her head in the crook of his neck while he held her against him. It wasn't until eleven o'clock, when Harvey's phone rang, that the new couple decided to leave the warm bed to start their days, jumping into the shower together before Harvey went back to his place to get dressed, and Donna spent a good time covering the marks Harvey had left on her body. An hour later, as she sat at her desk, Harvey came over, checked that no one was watching before leaning in and whispering.
«You took time. When I got there, you weren't there»
«It took me a while to cover up all the hickeys you left»smiled Donna, her gaze still focused on her computer screen.
«God, I really want to kiss you»
«Go to work»
«Yes, my love»
Following Harvey's words, Donna blushed before going back to work in turn. After that, the days went by, becoming weeks, then months, and if it was complicated to resist the other at the office, for the moment, no one had noticed. So the couple remained discreet in the presence of others, and they slipped away as soon as they had the opportunity: on the roof, in the archives room, or even the lawyer's car in the basement, only to find themselves together just to chat and kiss. They loved their lives like that and hoped for nothing to change, and if it was the case for a moment, one day, everything did.
«I don't know what to do, Donna»
«Have faith in yourself»
«Well, right now, I don't see any way out»
Mike had been arrested, everyone was going to know the truth, the kid was going to end up in jail, Harvey was probably going to be suspected too, and the lawyer's biggest fear; his girlfriend was going to be put in the spotlight again. Mike was a fraud, true, but it was Harvey who hired him, as Donna was the one who brought him into the room for the interview and participated in this charade, all three of them were in deep shit. That's when the panic attacks started, and he hid them from Donna, not wanting to worry her, as he could see that she wasn't doing well, always being pale and nauseous.
«Harvey»
«I know. I'm scared to dead, too, Donna »
Even when everything was going wrong, Donna had faith in her boyfriend and knew that everything would always be fine, but now, seeing him lose his footing, the redhead realized the seriousness of things. Everything was fine between them, even perfect, but now, she no longer recognized her loving, funny, and peaceful boyfriend, instead, she was facing an angry, stressed man, who threw tantrums as soon as he didn't know what to do and felt threatened. Donna started to get sick of that, and that, literally. It had been several days now that she hadn't slept, or she was vomiting at any time, had a headache, her stomach was twisting, and had the feeling of having lost all energy. So one day, when Harvey had just broken a glass of whiskey against the wall before leaving his office angry, without a last glance at Donna, who was left alone, the redhead had felt her eyes fill with tears, her vision blur, her head turn, and then collapse to the ground under the worried eye of Louis, who was passing by.
«Miss? Miss, can you hear me?»
As she slowly opened her eyes, she felt a painful migraine, feeling like someone was playing drums in her head, the neon lights of the room burning into her retina, while the redhead whispered.
«Where am I?»
«Emergency room»
«What?»
«You fainted in the middle of the office, your colleague, Louis Litt called 911»
«Is there only Louis here?»
«Yeah, why?»
«My boyfriend is here?»
«Hum, we didn't see anyone else, do you want us to call him?»
«No, no. He will freak out»
«Alright. Do you know why you fainted?»
«Well, I'm in a stressful situation at work and at home right now, so I'm not sleeping much, that's why I fainted»
«Apart from being tired, do you feel anything else?»
«I often have headaches, but again, it's related to being tired. And I'm nauseous, but that's always the case when I'm stressed»
«You told me you have a boyfriend, right?»
«Yeah»
«Are you sexually active?»
«I am, but I don't see what's —»
«When was your last period?»
«I'm not pregnant. It's just stress»
«I'm just exploring a few other possibilities»
«I'm on the pill»
«There's no such thing as zero risk, Miss Paulsen. Can I have a blood test? We'll have the results in about ten minutes»
«Alright»
After the blood test, Donna found herself alone in the hospital room again, twisting her fingers as she waited for the results. It was the longest ten minutes of her life, and when another doctor came in with a paper in his hand, an apologetic smile, and ob/gyn written on her coat, Donna felt tears running down her cheeks.
«I'm pregnant»
«You are, yeah»
«I can't be. Not now»
«Look, let's start from the beginning»
«Okay»whispered Donna.
As the redhead was sitting on the bed, wiping her tears, the doctor pulled out a rolling stool before sitting down next to her and speaking.
«Your blood test is positive, and your hCG levels are high»
«What does that mean?»
«The higher the hCG is, the more advanced your pregnancy is»
«How far along am I?»
«Sixteen weeks pregnant»
«Four months?»
«Four months, yes»
Faced with that, Donna burst into tears as the doctor squeezed her hand and began to speak in a soft voice.
«I guess it wasn't planned»
«No»
«Do you want a child, Miss Paulsen?»
«I don't know, I mean, I always did, yeah, but my partner… it's different, I don't think he knows if he does, and I don't want to ruin our relationship because I'm so in love with him. It's something we haven't had time to discuss yet, I mean, it's his baby too. But right now is not the time to talk about it either, our lives are way too complicated, and we have so many things to worry about. This baby is coming at such a bad time»
«Miss Paulsen — hey, Donna — listen to me. If you think that now is not the right time, there are solutions, and we will discuss them. You can abort up to the twenty-fourth week in the state of New York, or there is also adoption»
Seeing Donna's sobs redouble, the doctor continued.
«Hey, I know it's a lot, and you have time to think about it and talk about it with your boyfriend. But know that there are solutions. Look, if you agree to be monitored at Mount Sinai, I can take care of your follow-up, if you want, we can make an appointment for in a week and see then. You have two options, terminate this pregnancy with surgical abortion typically performed over a two-day period, or continue the pregnancy, but we will have to make sure that it is viable. We can do that now or at the appointment in a week»
«I want to know now. I don't know yet what I will do with my pregnancy, but if it's not viable, at least, I'm not going to have to torture my mind for a week, I won't have to make a decision»
«Alright. I'll get what I need and be back in a few seconds»
With a nod, the doctor left the room, leaving the redhead alone to cry uncontrollably as a series of thoughts clogged her mind. As the doctor returned with the portable ultrasound scan, Donna swallowed hard as she realized the absurdity of the moment, and, as the woman settled down and ordered Donna to lift up her t-shirt, the redhead sobbed.
«It wasn't there this morning»
«What?»asked the doctor.
«My stomach, I didn't have a bump this morning»
«You've been in some sort of pregnancy denial, and now that you know, your belly pops out. Over the next few days, it's probably going to keep getting bigger, alright?»
«Yeah»
«I'm going to put some gel on and run the probe over your lower abdomen. Do you want to see?»
«I don't know»
«I'm just going to make sure everything's okay, that it's a viable pregnancy, and then, I'll see you in a week, or you can come back earlier, okay?»
«Okay»whispered Donna with her eyes still wet.
For a few minutes, the doctor slid the probe over her belly while typing a few things on the ultrasound scanner keyboard, then removing the gel from the redhead's skin and smiling.
«It's viable»
«Is everything okay with the baby?»
«Everything's fine»
«Alright»sighed Donna.
«Miss Paulsen, I know it's a lot, but take some time to think about it and talk it over with your boyfriend. See you in a week?»
«I will. Thank you, doctor»
After that, Donna immediately went home, without going back to the firm while calling Louis. After making sure that he was the only one who had seen her collapse on the ground and that Harvey did not know about it, making him promise to keep it quiet, she arrived home and hurriedly swapped her dark blue dress for black leggings and a big white sweater, hiding her swollen belly, not yet ready to face reality. She hadn't heard from Harvey since his office meltdown, but as he entered her apartment, sat down at the table, and began talking, Donna didn't have the heart to tell him what she had learned today.
«Don't do it, don't fall on your sword again»
«I have to»
«No, you don't»
«We might not win»
«You don't always have to be the hero»
«I'm not doing it to be the hero»
«Then why the hell are you doing it?»
«Because, it's my goddamn fault»
For several minutes, she tried to convince him by telling him that he was worthy, that he couldn't leave her alone, and despite that, she could see in Harvey's eyes that he wouldn't give up.
«I have to turn myself in»
«Don't do it»
«Donna»
«Don't»
«I have to»
«Harvey. You're going to be for a moment at the Federal Correctional Institution if you turn yourself in. You know who is there? Frank Gallo, Kevin Miller, Diego Garcia, Alban Smith, Jules Brown, should I keep going?»
«Babe»
«Don't babe me. You put all those men in jail, Harvey. What do you think will happen if you find yourself among them? If you share a cell with Frank?»
«Donna, I —»
«You're gonna end up with a fucking knife in your stomach, Harvey»
«I can't let Mike take all the blame»
«Did you think of me? What will happen to me if you go to jail, or if something happens to you there and you die?How can you leave me alone? »
For a few seconds, Harvey said nothing, just staring at the table, while standing, his two hands resting on the back of the chair as his girlfriend sat, watching him with concern. If Donna thought he was going to give in and not surrender, her breath caught when Harvey whispered.
«I'm gonna turn myself in, Donna»
Faced with the lawyer's words, the redhead stood up, tears streaming down her cheeks, before whispering while looking at him with hatred.
«Fuck you, Harvey. Don't even bother staying here tonight, I don't want to see your face anymore»
Without even letting him speak, Donna disappeared to her bedroom before slamming her door, leaving Harvey alone in the living room, completely lost and tears running down his face too. He could have stayed, insisted on sharing her bed or sleeping on the couch, but he knew Donna well enough to know that when she said something, it was best to follow through. So he went home, downed half a bottle of whiskey before falling asleep dead drunk, even more lost than before. On the other side of Manhattan, Donna woke up with a terrible headache and the urge to vomit, and even though she didn't feel like going to work, she forced herself, put on a slightly baggy dress before rushing to the firm, not really ready to confront Harvey. To her relief, when she arrived, his office was empty, a sign that he either wasn't there or hadn't arrived yet, and as she was typing a report on her computer, Louis rushed to her desk.
«Hey»
«Hello, Louis»
«How are you feeling?»
«Better. Thank you for yesterday, by the way»
«Donna, you were standing, then a second later, I saw your knees give way and you collapse on the floor, I've never been so scaredin my life »
«I'm sorry»
«What did the doctor say?»
«It's a mix of stress and fatigue, I just need to rest a little»
«Oh, alright, good to know it's not too serious»
«Yeah»
«And does Harvey know?»
«Why should he know, Louis?»
«Oh, well, I don't know, you work together and —»
«And we work together, that's all. He doesn't need to know everything about me»
«I understand, sorry. By the way, I was thinking about Mike and —»
As Louis was about to explain, Donna felt nauseous, and hurriedly got up from her chair before running as fast as she could on her stiletto heels to the nearest bathroom without knowing that Louis was following her. Barely in front of the first stall, she pushed the door open before falling to her knees in front of the bowl, her stomach contracting violently, and her entire esophagus burning as her breakfast rose up to end up in the bottom of the toilet.
«Oh my God, Donna. Are you alright?»
«Louis, give me a moment»whispered Donna before throwing up again.
«Do I need to call 911 again? Or maybe Harvey?»
«Leave me alone, Louis»yelled the redhead before coughing violently.
As she didn't hear a noise anymore, followed by the door closing, she understood that Louis had listened to her and sighed before throwing up again. She shouldn't have spoken to him like that, she knew it, but she was so sick — physically and mentally — and needed to be alone, at least when she was busy throwing up. At the same time, Louis came out of the women's restroom a little panicked, returning to his office without even seeing Harvey advance towards him.
«Louis? Have you seen Donna?»
«What?»
«Donna. Have you seen her?»
«I don't know, I— »
«What's going on?»
«Nothing»
«Don't lie to me, Louis»
«Donna fainted yesterday, I called 911, they brought her to the emergency room, and this morning she told me everything was fine, but she's busy throwing up in the women's restroom down the hallright now »
Without even taking the time to answer Louis or thank him, Harvey ran to the indicated place while he could hear her coughing and sobbing as soon as the door opened. Recognizing her black Jimmy Choo high heels sticking out, he approached slowly before seeing her leaning over the toilet and coughing. Immediately, he entered the stall, crouching down in the small free space next to her before taking her hair in his hands and pushing it away from her face. He knew she was mad at him, what he had said yesterday had been irrational, and she must have felt betrayed, but as he grabbed her hair, he saw her put her hand on his chest without looking at him, pushing Harvey with all her strength, who was crouching down, making him lose his balance slightly, catching himself with one hand on the wall, while he heard his girlfriend's trembling voice.
«Get out»
«Donna, I —»
«I said, get out»
Without a word, he straightened up, left the stall to watch Donna vomit and cough, over and over, for a few minutes until she got up and headed to the sinks. Seeing the dried tears on her cheeks, her red nose and lips, and her pale complexion, Harvey just wanted to take her in his arms, apologize, and kiss her to take all her pain away. While seeing him standing behind her, Donna took a sip of water, rinsed her mouth before spitting it out and muttering.
«You better go»
«You passed out yesterday, and you didn't tell me»
«Are you interested now?»
«Donna, stop that. You threw up, is it because of yesterday?»
«It's not because of yesterday»
«Donna, maybe you have a problem that we don't know about»
«I don't have a problem»
«You faint and throw up, it could be stress, I know, but it worries me to think that there could be something else serious»
«There's nothing else serious»
«Donna, you don't know, come on, let's go to the doctor»
«I don't have to go to the doctor, I know what I have»
As she could see the panic in the lawyer's eyes through the mirror, she grabbed one of the papers on the dispenser against the wall before wiping her mouth, crumpling it between her hands, and heading towards the exit, passing Harvey as she threw the paper in the trash and muttered.
«I'm just pregnant»
It was on these words that Donna disappeared, leaving a speechless Harvey in the women's restroom, who in turn rushed to vomit. Donna was pregnant. His girlfriend was pregnant, she was carrying his baby inside her, and the lawyer was going to be a dad. In a split second, his life changed, and he had trouble assimilating the redhead's words: she was pregnant. Harvey had never imagined himself as a father, he had never wanted to, always finding an excuse to justify himself, but in this case, it was different. He was in love with Donna, he knew he was going to end his days with her, he wanted everything with her, even marriage and a baby if he could, but right now, the only thing he could see was that he was probably going to end up in jail and die when he faced all the assholes for whom he had obtained the maximum sentence in court. The day before, he had told his girlfriend that he was going to turn himself in, leaving her alone with the risk of getting stabbed as soon as he entered prison, and that, even if it was scary, he wouldn't feel guilty about letting Mike take everything for him, that at least, they would be together. He didn't want to leave Donna, ever, but he didn't know if he was capable of building a life with her knowing that his place was in prison for the stupid decision he made. But now, everything was different, there was more than Donna, there was this baby, and Harvey felt like he was drowning. He couldn't tell you how long he stood in the women's room, but when he saw a female employee come in and give him a strange look, he excused himself and went out, looking for Donna like a desperate man. After doing the whole floor twice, he headed over to his colleague.
«Louis. Have you seen Donna?»
«She went home»
«When?»
«About fifteen minutes ago. She didn't look well»
«Alright, thank you Louis»
Quickly, he ran out of the lawyer's office, pressing the elevator buttons repeatedly, as if that would make them come faster, before getting in, going downstairs, and catching a cab. Barely in front of the redhead's door, he put his keys in the lock, and the moment he was about to turn, the door opened, revealing Donna in black leggings, a pair of thick socks, sneakers, and a fluffy red sweater. Her hair was in a bun, her skin was pale, and her eyes bloodshot from crying while the lawyer's heart broke into a thousand pieces. Seeing that she had her phone in her hand and her bag on her shoulder, Harvey whispered.
«Where are you going?»
«To the hospital»
«What?»
«I'm having kind of contractions, and I'm losing a little blood»
«Donna»
«It could be a miscarriage, I don't know, I have to go»
«I'm coming with you»
«Harvey, I don't want you to come. You're going to leave me at some point, it's better to do it now»
«Stop. I'm coming with you, let's go»
Twenty minutes later, they were in the emergency waiting room, and Donna spoke softly to the receptionist.
«I'm sixteen weeks pregnant, and I've had pain in my lower abdomen for almost an hour, and I've lost a little blood»
«We're going to transfer you to the obstetrics department, will you be okay to walk there?»
«Yes, thank you»
As Donna and Harvey walked through the hospital corridors in silence, Harvey felt his heart racing a thousand miles an hour, not really understanding everything that was happening, his throat tightening at the thought that he had believed he was a father for barely forty minutes, and that he risked losing everything in a fraction of a second.
«Miss Paulsen, what are you doing here? We saw each other yesterday, have you made a decision?»
«I'm losing blood, and I have sort of contractions»
«Alright, let's check all this out»
Barely in the room, the doctor ordered Donna to undress before the redhead lay down on the examination table wearing only her sweater and panties while Harvey took a seat silently next to her, not knowing what else to do. For a few minutes, Donna closed her eyes, her tears silently streaming down her cheeks while the doctor busied herself with performing some tests, speaking in a soft voice.
«Alright, the bleeding has stopped, that's already a good thing. Now, you can lift your sweater, we're going to perform an ultrasound»
Seeing his girlfriend lift the clothe, he felt his breath catch as he saw her slightly swollen belly, a bump that was definitely not there two days ago, while the doctor put some gel on her belly and addressed the redhead.
«You still don't want to see?»
« Well, if it's to see my baby for the first time when it's gone, I'd rather not »
«Don't be too pessimistic. We're going to check if we still have cardiac activity and if it's still in the right place»
For a few minutes, Donna closed her eyes again, while the doctor looked at her screen attentively and whispered.
«It's okay, Miss Paulsen. The baby's okay»
With that, Donna burst into tears, letting out the stress and panic of the last two days coming out as Harvey rushed to hold her, letting the redhead's tears flow down his neck as he whispered in her ear.
«I'm so sorry. So sorry»
The doctor gave them a few minutes to each other, taking the opportunity to make some notes in the medical file while Donna continued to cry in Harvey's arms, and the lawyer was helpless and completely lost. It was only when the cries turned into sobs that Harvey separated to wipe away her tears, then his, as the doctor started to speak.
«Do you want to see your baby?»
Seeing both parents nodding, she turned the screen towards them, and their breaths caught. They could recognize every little detail of their child — the legs, little feet, the arms, the torso, the head, and the little nose — as the tears did not stop flowing. For another ten minutes, seeing that both parents seemed to want to keep the child, she put together the files before letting them go. The return to the apartment was silent until they entered the living room, and Harvey flopped down on the couch, his head in his hands, while Donna took a seat on the other side, huddled in the corner.
«We're gonna have a baby»
«We are»sighed Donna.
«What kind of father would I be if I let Mike fall alone and take for both of us?»
«A father present for his child, here, where he belongs, with the mother of his baby»
«He's in his thirties. He's gonna ruin his life and Rachel's»
«And you're gonna ruin mine and your baby's if you turn yourself in»
«So what? Am I supposed to let him down when he needs me the most?»
«Jesus, in reality, you always need to be the hero. I don't want you to turn yourself in, Harvey. I don't wanna lose you because I love you and I know our child deserves to be happy with his two parents, together, outside a prison. But if you think otherwise, please turn yourself in, that way, you can be happy to explain your decision to the kid in the visiting room, if you haven't already been stabbed before this child is old enough to understand, or better, before they even come into the world»
Without another word, she headed to her room before going to bed and crying discreetly. Meanwhile, Harvey was thinking. He was going to be a dad, he couldn't do that to Mike, but he was going to be a dad first. So after a deep breath, he left the apartment and went to Mike and Rachel's to have a talk with his best friend. If the brunette had isolated herself in the bedroom to leave them alone, barely the two beers on the table, Mike sighed while Harvey murmured.
«Donna is pregnant»
For a few seconds, neither said anything until Mike answered with a small smile, seeing the small ultrasound that Harvey had taken out of his jacket pocket and put on the table.
«I didn't know you still had that in you. How long have you been together?»
«Almost six months»
«And how far is she?»
«Four months»
«Yeah, you've never done things like the others. How do you feel about that?»
«Like someone who has to choose between sacrificing two kids»
«Well, I'm not a kid anymore»
«You were when I got you into this mess»
« Harvey, I was in full capacity when I took this deal. I was a responsible adult who made his own decisions, but this kid gonna need you »
«You gonna take it for both of us? I can't let you do that»
«Of course you can, because my nephew or my niece will need their father, and in prison, you won't be useful. This baby, you two made it together, and you can't let Donna take care of it all by herself and also leave her with a broken heart»
«Donna thinks I might get killed»
«She's right, there is a lot of bad guys in it. Having a parent in prison is hard enough, but having a parent dead is insurmountable, trust me, I know what I'm talking about»
«You're gonna miss so much with Rachel»
«Yeah, maybe, but she'll wait for me. But you know what won't wait for you? Donna's pregnancy, the birth of your child, the first words, the first steps — all that — you'll never be able to catch up on, while I'll have all the time in the world when I get out»
«You won't hate me?»
«How could I hate you? These last few years, you've given me so much: a career, Rachel, success, stability, a family, and now it's time to give yourself something too. So go home, tell your wife that everything is fine, and reassure her»
«She's not my wife, Mike»
«Oh, come on, you got her pregnant after not even two months, you'll be married to her before you even know it»
«Mike»
«It's alright, really»
As he stood up, Harvey followed suit before the two men hugged for a long moment before the younger lawyer whispered.
«And congratulations, brother. You're going to be a great dad»
«Thank you, Mike»
After this conversation, Harvey returned to the redhead's place, where he headed to her bedroom and observed her form on the mattress for a few seconds, understanding that she was not yet asleep. He then climbed gently onto the bed, placed a kiss on her cheek, her jaw, and her neck, before lying down behind her and hugging her tightly against him, her back against his chest, the lawyer's arms surrounding her just below her breasts, feeling the curve of her stomach against his forearms.
«I'm not gonna turn myself in»
Without even reacting, she turned in his arms, before bursting into tears, and Harvey simply held her in his arms, letting her venting, until she calmed down and finally fell asleep against him, the lawyer imitating her and spending his night staring at the ceiling. Harvey had managed to postpone the trial for one more day, but today, he absolutely had to show up at the courthouse with Mike at two o'clock, and had decided to stop by the firm beforehand. As he was leaving the elevators, the conversation between him and Donna, then the one with Mike, and finally the image of his hand that morning placed under the redhead's sweater, spread out over her swollen belly, was playing over and over in his head. But as he walked to his office, he heard Louis call him.
«Harvey»
«What's going on, Louis?»
«Jessica and I wanted to talk to you»
Barely in the office, Harvey nodded at the woman in front of him before Louis started to speak again.
«So? What's your strategy?»
«Mike is gonna turn himself in. Maybe the jury will be more lenient»
«What about you?»asked Louis.
«What do you mean, what about me?»
«Well, if Mike is in this shit, it's because of you. Why don't you go down with him? Why don't you support him and own up to your mistakes?»
«Louis»sighed Jessica.
«I can't, Louis»whispered Harvey.
«Oh, and why is that? The great Harvey Specter is not cut out for prison? So you'd rather play the coward and let Mike pay instead of you?»
«Louis, there's Donna, and— »
« What do you mean Donna? She'll be better off without you, she'd finally be rid of the coward that you are. Abandoned his friends without any qualms in the hardest times without even an ounce of compassion. You call yourself friends when you only use people before throwing them away, like you used Mike for your trials before letting them rot in prison. And Donna is gonna — »
«She fucking pregnant»
As he had just shouted those words while grabbing the business card holder on Louis' desk, Harvey threw it at the wall with all his might while the room fell silent for a few seconds, until Jessica spoke in a soft voice.
«Let me guess, it's yours»
«I can't do that to her. I can't leave her all alone with our baby. I can't rot in prison and miss all my child's firsts, only seeing it in the visiting room once a week. I can't leave her alone to give birth, alone to raise a child, alone for everything. And — And what if one of the men I put in jail decided to pay revenge on me? I can't leave an orphan behind. I'm not afraid of jail or dying, I'm afraid of leaving the woman I love and our childalone »
«I'm sorry, Harvey»whispered Louis.
«I wanted to turn myself in because I couldn't accept the guilt that came over me when I thought about letting Mike sink alone in this shit we created together, I couldn't, but we're talking about my child here. So yeah, I might be a selfish asshole, I might not choose this family, because this time, I'm choosing my own»
«Did you talk with Mike?»
«Yes. He wants to take all the responsibility so I can be there for the baby»
«Harvey, you do realize that, even if you don't turn yourself in, you risk being judged for complicity too»said Jessica.
«It won't happen»
«And what if it did?»
«Then I would ask you to take care of her and our child, to make sure that they are both well, that they are happy, and that they lack nothing»
«You will make sure of that yourself, Harvey»smiled sadly Louis.
«I hope»
«I am sure»
«I have to go see Rachel now, but we will see you at the trial?»
«See you, Harvey»
«Later, Harv»
«See you two»
Barely out of the office, Harvey caught a cab to go to Brooklyn Heights and ring the doorbell of his best friend's house. Seeing Rachel open it, her features drawn and her eyes red, his stomach knotted.
«Can we talk?»
A few seconds later, both of them were sitting on the couch while Harvey started.
«I'm sorry»
«It's not your fault, Harvey»
«Yes, it is»
«Mike made his own choices»
«Because of me»
«No, because he wanted to»
«I'm sorry to deprive you of him, Rach»
«You're not as sorry as Mike and I would be if we had deprived you of your child. Congratulations by the way»
«Thanks»
«I would have preferred that all this didn't happen, but knowing that you will be able to attend all the important stages of your child's life is still something very important to Mike and me»
«Yeah»
«You're having a child, Harvey, per se, with Donna »smiled the brunette.
«I know»chuckled Harvey.
«It's gonna be great»
«Thank you Rachel»
After a hug, the lawyer left the house and headed to the courthouse, his stomach in knots while Mike was already waiting for him there. Barely in the courtroom, everyone was slowly filing in until Harvey felt his heart race when he saw his girlfriend enter in turn, a dress hugging her curves, highlighting her now small, swollen belly while her hands were placed underneath, as if to support it.
«Hey, you came?»
«I wanted to be there for you»
«Thank you»
«You're welcome»
«Donna, if anything ever happens —»
«Don't. I have faith in you. Stay by Mike's side, be there for him, and when this mess is cleared, you and I focus on the baby, okay?»
«Okay»
«I love you»
«I love you too»
After a quick kiss, everyone sat down, and the trial began. In the end, Mike pleaded guilty, and, as soon as the verdict was delivered, Donna was doing everything she could to hold back her tears. After a quick kiss on her boyfriend's lips, she stepped aside to let the two best friends embrace.
«I'm sorry, brother»
«You're gonna be an amazing dad»
«I hope»
«And I want to know everything. By then, this baby will already be able to walk and babble. I hope the kid would look like Donna and not like you, poor baby otherwise. I expect you to have news at every visit, alright?»
«I will»
«Come on, let's go, let's get to our girls»
Later, Harvey learned that Mike had been found not guilty by the juries, but since he had made a deal and accepted a two-year prison term, Harvey could do nothing but take him to the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury a few days later. Even though this moment had been hard and it would take Harvey time to digest everything that had just happened, when he entered the redhead's apartment and saw his girlfriend in her underwear in front of the mirror, smiling as she slid her hand on her stomach, contemplating her new curves, he felt his heart racing.
«Hey»
«Hey. How did it go?»
«It hurt»
«I know»
Without waiting, he entered the room completely before approaching the redhead and taking her in his arms, hugging her, feeling her swollen stomach against his. Then Harvey gently pushed Donna onto the bed before the two of them lay there staring at the ceiling until Donna spoke.
«Even though I'm devastated that Mike's in jail, I'm glad this is all over»
«I get it»
«You know, I always thought this baby was bad timing, but it was right on time»
«Yeah. This baby is here to remind me of what really matters to me: you»
«I'm so happy to do this with you»
«Me too. I never thought I wanted this so bad until I saw your belly»
«Swollen, right?»
«Yeah. And you're already sixteen weeks pregnant»
«Seventeen»
«Jesus. We never do things like the others»snorted Harvey.
«Nope»chuckled Donna.
«Hey, babe. Despite all this shit, I'm really happy»
«Me too, honey»
After this trying day, the two of them discussed the baby for a few more minutes until they fell asleep against each other, Donna in her underwear, Harvey in a three-piece suit, until the next day, when everything was more or less back to normal. Prison wasn't a picnic for Mike, but when he saw his best friend show up in the visiting room two weeks later, a huge smile on his lips as he hurried to place a small ultrasound on the table, he couldn't help but chuckle.
«It's a girl, Mike»
Seeing the joy on his best friend's face as he held the ultrasound in a trembling hand, and Donna's even more swollen little belly now twenty-six weeks pregnant when he was released prematurely from prison, Mike had no regrets.
Harvey was exactly where he belongs: with his family.