Bang

"Die!"

Bang

"Die!"

Bang

"Die! ...What?!"

Bang

"Deku I can't fucking hear you, I'm busy!" Bang! Bang! Bang!

Kacchan's bluster turned into a real frown and he sat down his hammer while listening intently. Without explanation he stood up and left the room.

This was a golden opportunity.

The house Kacchan and Uncle Kiri had bought was very nice and very large, but it was apparently considered a fixer upper. Well Uncle thought it was fine, but Kacchan had higher standards and was single handedly redoing the kitchen.

Hisoka had been watching eagerly as large chunks of counter and tiles were brought in. Kacchan had impressively kept one eye locked on him while the other observed the materials being brought in.

"Now listen here you little shit. I know what you want, but your not getting it. One single scratch on my new counters and I'm exploding that face paint you like so much. Don't try me." Kacchan did not make idea threats, but it had also been a specific one so as long he avoided the counters all would be well.

For hours he had watched as tools of all kinds had been taken out, used, and then placed back into a tool box with a lock waiting for his chance.

At last the hammer was his! Now to hide it so he could smuggle it into preschool.

He planned to drive Kacchan just a little crazy by always looking like he was about to destroy the house, but not actually doing so. At least not yet. While everyone else would be drawn into a false sense of security when his destructive tendencies were taking place only out of the house, clever Kacchan would only become more paranoid.

He ducked into the bathroom before Kacchan could see him while he passed up and down in the hallway.

"Well he isn't dead so I don't know why you think I give a shit."

He carefully removed the lose vent in the bathroom and placed his prize within.

"HUH? YOUR FUCKING WITH ME! OH FUCK!" Thud!

Hisoka peered into the hallway to see what was going on only to find that Kacchan was doubled over on the floor laughing harder than he had ever seen. His phone was discarded on the floor as Kacchan battled histyra.

"Kacchan! Kacchan it's not funny! Kacchan!" Midoriya's voice wailed from the phone. Hisoka picked it up.

"Hello? "

"HEEEEEEEE" Kacchan sounded remarkably like an animal being murdered.

"Hisoka? Can you put Kacchan back on the phone?" Tears were running down the explosives man's face as he made no effort to calm himself.

"No. That's not possible right now. ︎" He eyed Kacchan with interest. He had never gotten that reaction from him before. He was an ugly laugher.

"Right, right of course not. Why would he take this seriously? I don't know what I expected." Midoriya sounded surprisingly irate.

"What happened? " He made his inquiry as friendly as possible, hoping for something juicy.

"Our friends got hit by a quirk. I-I should probably let Kaminari explain it. Regardless of the kind of quirk it was our friends are still in the hospital and I assumed that Kacchan would be a little more concerned all things considering-" Kacchan still chuckling had dragged himself upright and took the phone from Hisoka, but didn't bother getting up from the floor.

"You-ha-can't expect me-hee-to not find that fucking-pff-hilarious!" The large smile on his face was unnatural, but it only made Hisoke more determined to involve himself. He pulled himself unto Kacchan's lap to be closer to the phone and tried to focus on what Midoriya was saying.

"Yes I can! Can you imagine how hard this is going to be for Shouto-kun! He almost died and now he's going to have a baby!"

"Pfff! Ha! Fuck!"

"Kacchan!"

"Hmm..." How interesting...

/

"When a mommy and daddy love each other very much...or er...get drunk...or in this case ah..." Kaminari was not prepared to tell his child that wasn't even three years old yet where babies came from. Especially considering the speech his own parents gave him was really not going to work.

Hisoka looked bright and attentive as if there was nothing he wanted more than to be told how babies were made. Kaminari could do nothing, but press on.

"So there's a lot of different ways and a lot of different kinds of families...eh this time um...there was a villain. Um and his quirk made it so that Yamomo and Shouto were able to have a kid. He just has to cook a bit more. Not cook! Not like in an oven, but get ready to come out...of the stomach he is in which is normally a girl's tummy, but this time it's not."

He looked up hoping someone would help, but only a smirking Bakugou was there who had been in a joyful mood ever since he heard the news.

"Does that mean Sho-chan has a vagina? ︎"

10 years were taken from his life with that sentence. Bakugou howled.

"Where did you hear that word?" He wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out.

"Aunty! ︎" He should make Mina do this. She deserved it. He felt faint.

"No! I don't know! I haven't asked!" He hoped Bakugou choked on his laugher.

"Look the point is that Shouto is having a baby so we should be very nice to him. We are all going to visit him in the hospital and no one should laugh at him!"

Of course Hisoka would be nice to him. Hisoka was a good boy and was always nice. Blasty on the other hand.

"Pff, no promises" He was so mean!

"It was traumatic!"

"I'll bring the fucker food, but this is the funniest shit ever and I'm not going to pretend that it isn't." One day Bakugou's food would not make up for his personally, but as it was Shouto that day was probably not today.

"He's worried about being a good parent!"

He and Jiro had gotten to talk to Shouto and Momo briefly the other day and while they had done a good job of seeming normal he could tell that Shouto at least, who had never seemed interested in having kids or even dating at all, was not taking it all that well.

"He'll get over it!"

Kaminari certainly hoped he did get over both the way he found himself pregnant and also all the Todoroki Family Drama (TM) . He had heard from Jiro who heard from Momo that Shouto's sister had been by the same day and that discussion hadn't gone well to say the least.

/

"Thanks for the food, your not coming in." Yamomo promptly took the tupperware from Kacchan.

"Hah?" She fixed him with an impressive glare. Her face looked peculiarly sharpe and angler today so it looked rather fierce. She must have overused her quirk. Once again the dark haired women reminded him of Illumi. He hadn't made nearly enough progress on his goals lately.

"He has enough on his plate without you being insensitive. He will appreciate the food, thank you and goodbye."

"Um." His father raised his hand like he was in a classroom.

"Your fine, I'm sure he would love to see you and Hisoka." She said suddenly sweetly to his father. Kacchan protested this treatment, but she very firmly began to heard him out of the hallway.

Shouto had a large arrangement of flowers and cards by his bedside as well as an assortment of baby things in the corner.

"How you doing? Hisoka was excited to see you!" Shouto smiled at them from the bed. It was very odd to see him with his stomach so large.

"As well as can be expected. I'm getting very tired of this hospital bed. Hello Hisoka."

"Hello. ︎"

Momo rejoined them shortly and the conversation became rather dull. Hisoka amused himself by sticking all of the baby things together with Bungee Gum. It was important he get in as much practice as possible.

The visit couldn't last very long apparently Shouto was having to go though many tests as the doctors were not sure exactly how the pregnancy would progress do to the unusual circumstances. Kaminari had one last question for the two before they headed out.

"So have you two picked out a name?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought about it." Shouto looked stumped at the question.

"Neither have I, but I do have a name in mind now that I think of it." Momo said considering.

"What do you think about the name Illumi?" Hisoka went very still.

"Illumi..." Shouto said considering.

"Yes that one feels right."

As they were leaving Hisoka demanded a long hug from both impending parents. He refused to let go until he had studied both their faces intently.

Illumi shared more features with Shouto in the face than he did Momo, but those were the exactly same eyes. Her silky dark hair felt exactly the same.

"Illumi..." His dear Illumi ︎...will absolutely hate this!

Hisoka couldn't wait.

...

Note

While the next chapter will answer your question my guest reviewer I don't mind going into slightly more detail on Shouto's mpreg thing if anyone is interested in it.

It will not be a C section. Quirk magic is giving him everything he needs to have the baby and once he's had it the quirk magic will take it all away.

I thought this was 1 funnier in the humor story, 2 more dramatic in the drama story, and 3 less horrifying for me to write.

I have a phobia of pregnancy you see and while it wouldn't need to be addressed in this story in my Part 2 Family Making, which is already up, it will go into more detail and I would have to research after effects of C sections if I made it like that because while I think quirk magic can simply get rid of the injured 'area' if I give him a birth cannel if I instead make him go though a surgery on his stomach I see no reason why the stomach wouldn't stay injured once the baby is removed.

Thank you for your question I'm always happy to answer them.