"Mrs. Prior," he says, surprise evident in his tone. "I'm doing well, thank you. Dauntless is a good look on you." He pushes off the wall to approach us and my mother finally releases me. "Clearly Tris gets a lot from her mother – I've never known anyone from Abnegation to so willingly take the members entrance if it wasn't necessary." There were definitely alternative entrances for visiting families to use today. "But now… Now it makes perfect sense as to why your daughter was first jumper this year."
My mother looks at me; there is surprise on her face, but the pride that shines through with it causes a warmth to spread throughout me.
"That's my girl," she says proudly. "Always brave."
Eric's looking between the two of us, a shuffle of too many expressions to count. I see confusion, but also understanding. As if even though my mother's appearance surprises him, it also makes him understand a little more about me.
"Well, I'll give you some time with your mother, Tris," he finally says. He gives a nod to my mother. "Mrs. Prior."
My mother loops her arm through mine and I follow her lead as we walk away; she seems to still know her way around the compound well.
"Tell me how things are going." she muses quietly as we wander through the compound. "Are you loving the Dauntless life?"
I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face. "I am. Mother, I feel like I was born to be here." She nods in agreement. "It's been a struggle to maintain a certain façade of not being Dauntless born, but also to try to separate myself from certain Abnegation teachings. I know for the most part, I have my peers left guessing at where I came from – a definite benefit from how easily Abnegation students blended in at primary school. No one remembers me."
"So, no one knows?" she asked me. I shake my head in the negative.
"Well…" I draw out. "Something happened yesterday and I could not prevent was apparently a very well-conditioned Abnegation response to it, so a handful of people did figure it out. And I believe my other instructor – oh, Eric is one of them – but my other instructor I think has figured it out now as well."
I know the explanation is not going to be enough for my mother because she pulls on my arm to stop our movement and just looks at me. "What happened yesterday?"
Not wanting to have this conversation in the hallway, I glance around to figure out where we are and find a path to where I know there won't be people. Or cameras.
"Certain things have been easy," I start off, guiding her away. "Personality wise, I've always been a little Dauntless. It's almost a relief to finally be able to react and say things that I always had to hold in because of Abnegation customs. However…" I open a door next to us and pull her into the room. "There was never really an opportunity in Abnegation for me to become accustomed to physical contact outside of family members."
She looks at me curiously. "I, eh… well." I'm stuttering. Not very Dauntless of me. I clear my throat and begin again. "I learned yesterday morning when I stepped out of the shower that my muscle growth meant I no longer fit into the clothes I bought when I arrived. So, I had to walk to the door in my towel to get a change of clothing." I think she may be catching on. "There are a few of my fellow transfers that don't really get along with anyone, but they seem to really have it out for me. One of them kind of caged me in so I couldn't leave. When I tried to move past him, he ripped my towel off."
"Oh, Beatrice," she murmurs sympathetically. I hold my hand up to stave off her comments.
"Afterwards," I continue, "It was time for our final fights of stage one. Eric could tell something was wrong when I got to the training room and asked me about it. I just told him that I wanted to fight Peter – that's the boy that ripped my towel off. Eric made the changes to the roster." I look at my mother, hoping for understanding. "I almost killed him yesterday, mother. One of the instructors had to physically remove me from the fight. Peter had made a couple suspicious comments eluding to what he had seen, and then at one point he had grabbed me from behind and started trying to pull my shirt down." She gasped. "I kind of snapped."
"Oh, Beatrice, I don't care what faction you're from – that was a perfectly acceptable reaction to two unwanted sexual assaults in the same day from the same person."
"No, it was…" I pause, finally realizing what she had just said. "No, it wasn't sexual assault. He didn't rape me. That's what everyone thought, apparently."
"Growing up in Abnegation, some things fall through the cracks, I see," my mother observed quietly. "Tris, dear, any kind of unwanted contact like that is sexual assault. And it's equally unacceptable everywhere; I don't care what faction you're in. Dauntless actually takes it very seriously."
"Yeah, they definitely did," I assure her. "My instructor, not Eric – the other one – told me to take a walk and cool off after the fight. No one found me until three hours later and my friend had to pick me up out of the shower and help me get dressed. Apparently, I worried a lot of people. It was the nurse that made the Abnegation connection when I just kind of… shut down." After a beat, I add on, "I'm very sorry for my failures."
Suddenly, I'm struggling for air as my mother pulls me into a tight hug. "My dear, you have failed nothing. I'm so proud of you. If that boy touches you again, kill him."
It's not often I get to see this side of my mother. I saw bits and pieces of her Dauntless side occasionally while she trained me, but it's a relief to see my mother's attitude towards my actions. She's not horrified at my violent behavior.
"Is father visiting Caleb today?" I ask, changing the subject.
She shakes her head sadly. "No." She looks serious now. "Actually, Erudite is not allowing anyone from Abnegation to enter their compound."
"But why?" I ask in shock. "I know there are tensions, but that seems a bit extreme."
"We're hoping to push it off for longer, but Tris, as you know, war is coming. We're trying to prevent it for as long as possible – give us time to boost our numbers until it happens, but Erudite is already making moves." She gives me an intense look. "I need you to go into Erudite. There's someone there you'll meet up with. There's a computer program that we need to corrupt. They can do the programming piece, but they don't have your skills with managing to get into places you shouldn't be."
"Who am I meeting?" I ask without hesitation.
"His handle is Fahim," she informs me. "He's a few years older than you." She hands me a slip of paper. "This is how to contact him. Just let him know when you're coming and he'll meet you at the Fountain by the lake – on the Erudite and common border."
I slip the paper into my pocket and nod. "As soon as I can slip away, I will. I have a few paths in and out memorized already to avoid detection, but if I'm absent too much they'll notice."
"Of course, dear. Do not take any unnecessary risks."
We walk arm in arm around the compound until dinner is approaching. Families are meant to leave after dinner, so we make our way to the dining hall to eat before parting.
I'm surprised when we reach the dining hall to find the tables all empty of food or drink. On the normal timeline, they would have already been bringing out dinner.
Seats can be hard to come by on a normal day; with all the extra people, I start making my way towards the tables to find a seat, but my mother holds me back with a knowing look on her face.
Finally, I see Max step up on the overhang.
"Thank you to all of the families that came to visit today from other factions." His voice is naturally loud without any need of assistance from the announcement system. "Of course, everyone today is invited to dine with us before leaving. Before dinner, however, we have on gift from Dauntless to our visitors."
The moment he stops speaking, music starts playing loudly throughout the dining hall. Several Dauntless members begin making their way to the center of the room. The transfer initiates look as confused as I am, but I catch a couple of the Dauntless born initiates joining their families in the middle of the room. Even some visiting families were joining in – there were quite a few dancers in Erudite blue and Candor black and white. I saw no grey in the crowd.
The song that is playing is something I've never heard, but every member of Dauntless is singing along. I even catch my mother mouthing the words silently.
"Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here, looking through the window
Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here, looking through the window"
The beat starts slow and I notice the older Dauntless members looking at the children standing up there with them, kicking their legs slowly to show them what to do. Soon, the beat picks up and the crowd is clapping in rhythm with the song.
With a start, I see Four standing a ways off, his eyes locked on me intently. I turn away and refuse to make eye contact. His eyes are full of questions I don't want to answer.
I catch myself bouncing back and forth lightly on my toes when my mother gives my shoulder a squeeze before shuffling her way to the crowd as it continues to speed up.
To my surprise, she barely takes a pause in the shuffling and kicking of her feet as she does a backflip onto the table and continues dancing. The song has sped up now to the point where I can barely keep track of the moves. Everything seems to be blurring together, but everyone is almost perfectly in sync with their moves.
Several others, upon seeing my mother on the table, began following her lead. Mostly younger members started jumping up on the table and benches. The lights cut off and neon flashes began. I didn't even know these kinds of lights were in the dining hall – did they have this just for Visiting Day every year?
"Who is your friend?"
I almost jump out of my skin when I hear Four's voice right next to me. I turn to him with a glare, mentally cursing him for sneaking up on me.
"You wouldn't know her," I respond dryly. Four is too nosy. "Why aren't you up there dancing? Surely you've been at Dauntless long enough to learn the dance."
"I don't dance," replies Four with a firm tone. I raise my eyebrows at him, indicating my knowledge of his blatant lie; he danced with me just a few nights ago. "That was barely dancing on my part," he defends.
I roll my eyes and turn back to watch my mother. She's giving me a questioning look, glancing back and forth between me and Four, but I don't know how to explain whatever is going on between us. I don't understand his fascination unless it's just that no one can guess at where I come from.
Although since he cheated my name out of me, any knowledge about Abnegation would tell him pretty quickly.
The music comes to an abrupt end. The crowd cheers as the dancers all finish off in some kind of dramatic ending; my mother completes a series of front handsprings down the table until landing on the floor. Show off.
Her giddiness washes over me as she takes her place back at my side.
"I'm a little upset you didn't teach me that in advance," I shoot at her, grinning. "That looked fun."
She lets out a loud laugh. "No one was stopping you from joining in."
"I'm trying to not make a habit of making a fool out of myself," I tell her, but there's no weight to my words. I've never seen my mother so happy and I love it.
"Shall we find a place to sit?" she asks, motioning towards the tables. I nod and take a step forward.
"Tris." Four's hand grabs my arm lightly, grabbing my attention.
My mother is immediately tense, stopping mid step and turning to give him a hard look. Her eyes zero in on my arm where his hand is grabbing me, and I wish I could bottle the look of surprise on Four's face. I rarely see so much emotion in him.
"Can we help you?" The threat is obvious in my mother's voice.
I recall my mother's words about unwanted contact. Which… I don't really want Four grabbing me. Mostly because my skin is tingling where he's touching. But no one else needs to know that.
"Mom," I say, forcing a smile to my face. "This is my other instructor, Four."
My mother calms slightly, but she still doesn't look enthused.
"Mom?" Four questions, taking in my mother's appearance. Now I'm sure I have him confused. Perfect.
"Yes, Four, Mom. Mom, Four." My response is unintentionally short, but I don't want Four going more into what happened yesterday right now.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Four," my mother says warmly, reaching a hand out to shake his. Four takes her hand hesitantly; he's confused. When he learned my name, I know he assumed I was from Abnegation.
But then here is my mother, dressed in Dauntless clothing, reaching out for a handshake instead of a traditional bow of the head.
Well done, mother.
"Did you need something, Four?" I ask politely, breaking him from his reverie.
"Umm…. I just wanted to check on you. How are you feeling?"
"I'm great." I keep my same polite tone. "Thank you for asking."
"You look familiar, Four," my mother comments. "Were you a transfer?"
Four's face shuts down immediately. Oh wow, my mother is good at this.
"I'm not sure why, ma'am."
She shrugs. "Maybe you just have one of those faces. Anyway, my daughter and I are going to go grab a seat for dinner. It was nice talking to you."
She leaves no room for argument as she pulls me away. As we settle into open seats, Eric plops down across from us.
"Tris, Mrs. Prior," he greets us, reaching forward to pile dinner onto his plate. "I think you broke Four, Tris. Well done. I've been trying to do that for years." There's an unnatural smirk on his face as he looks behind our backs, and I move to turn around. "No, don't look at him. Let him keep guessing."
"Eric, must you be so difficult to get along with?" my mother asks with condescension.
"I'm pretty sure those two have a legendary rivalry," I tell her, almost laughing at Eric's grin. "No one has mentioned why of course, but it works for me fairly well so I'm not going to complain."
"Pitting your two instructors against each other is very conniving, Tris," she reprimands lightly, but she's still smiling.
"It's not so much pitting as…." I pause, trying to explain it. "Four, for whatever reason, seems overprotective. I told you about yesterday – my fight. I was originally matched up with Christina, who is one of my friends. Any time Four is in charge of the roster, my matches are pretty easy. So, I just asked Eric to change it; if for no other reason than he got to undo something Four had decided on, which always seems to thrill him."
Eric's eyes widened as I spoke. "I didn't realize how diabolical you are, princess."
My mother's eyebrows lift at the nickname, but I roll my eyes and explain. "Yes, I'm not sure how that got started, but I can't seem to make it go away now."
I took a drink of my water before looking between the two of them. "You know, I haven't gotten an explanation yet as to how you two know each other."
Eric's eyes snap to my mother's; he almost looks worried. My mother spoke up. "Well, Tris, I'm not sure if you know, but your father grew up in Erudite. He was very close friends with Eric's parents when he was younger. Obviously, with the rules the way they are now, we haven't all stayed in touch as much as we'd like. But Eric's father was the best man at our wedding." Of all the things I expected her to say, that was nowhere near the list of guesses. "I haven't seen Eric in years, of course, but we used to always stop by and see the family when I traveled to Erudite with your father for council meetings."
He cleared his throat and looked away sheepishly. I guess he's ashamed to be so closely associated with a family from Abnegation. Oh well.
"So," my mother says, changing the subject. "How are you doing in initiation, Tris? Where are you ranked?"
Oh. I look at Eric. "I completely missed yesterday's postings. I've been so caught up, I forgot to ask if I'm even still in."
Eric rolled his eyes. "We posted them at dinner yesterday, which you missed. You're currently sixth in the transfer class. You're not escaping here that easily."
My mother nodded thoughtfully. "That's perfectly respectable, Tris."
"I'm in the bottom 50th percentile, mother," I groan, my face red in embarrassment. "There's only 9 transfer students."
Not wanting to argue, we fall into silence as we finish our meal. As dessert is wrapping up, Eric stands, giving some explanation about needing to help with the coordination of the families leaving, and walks away from the table.
"He's turned into a nice young man," my mother says sweetly, smiling to herself.
The laughter that bursts out of me is uncontrollable. Several heads turn to me in surprise.
"He is the biggest asshole I've ever met," I tell her between bits of laughter. "Seriously. We all hate him."
"He didn't seem that bad," insists my mother.
"A few days ago, a transfer refused to walk through a line of people throwing knives to pick up the one he dropped. So, Eric told him to stand against a target while Four threw knives around him until he learned to stop flinching."
My mother's face fell a bit. "Oh… How'd he do?"
I blush. "Well, er… see, I knew he wasn't going to do well. Al hasn't been adjusting well. So, I may have spoken out against it. And then took his place as a target."
"Tris!" Her voice is admonishing. "That was a dangerous move."
I shrug, absentmindedly touching the tip of my ear that had been cut open. "Four is incredible with knives. I trusted that he wasn't going to slip and kill me."
Her eyes darken as they take in where my finger is rubbing the top of my ear. "Oh really? I have a hard time believing he's so infallible."
"Oh." I drop my hand quickly. "Um, that was…" How do I say this without making Four sound like a complete asshole? I mean… he is kind of an asshole. "A lesson?" It comes out as more of a question than a statement.
"A lesson in what, exactly?" she hisses, angry.
"Clearly I wasn't meant for Erudite," I joke lightly, "because I still haven't figured that part out."
As we walk out, Four is walking in front of us and I catch my mother glaring at him.
"Dauntless is very different now, I think, from when you were here," I say quietly. "There have been a few arguments between Four and Eric that lead me to believe the changes have been somewhat recent."
I don't think she cares.
As the rest of the visitors follow Eric, my mother grabs my arm and pulls me off in a different direction. I see Four eying us suspiciously as we move away from the crowd.
"I regret not having this discussion before we left, but what were your aptitude test results, Tris?" she asks suddenly. I look around and notice the lack of cameras.
"Um… inconclusive," I whisper cautiously. I know I can trust my mother, but it still scares me.
"I've always suspected that would be the case," she says. "It means your Divergent. You can't tell anyone. Trust no one except the two plants." I nod in understanding. "The next stage will be the most dangerous for you. You are resistant to the simulation serums. That is a strictly Divergent trait; if they catch you being aware, they will know. Have you located the beacon?" I nod again. "Good. If you suspect that anyone is on to you, you get out immediately. Too many have gone missing; don't take any chances."
We've reached the edge of Dauntless territory, and I look at my mother questioningly. "Are you walking home?"
She shakes her head. "I'm going to walk to the commons and catch it there to get closer to home. Don't you worry about me. You're doing great, Tris. I'm so proud of you."
I stay until my mother is no longer in view, and then turn to walk back to my dorms. As I enter the first alley, I see Four leaning back against the wall. He's waiting for me.
"Your mother is fascinating."
Song Credit: Monster by LUM!X & Gabry Ponte