"Tubby! Come on already! I want to go meet Aether's girlfriends!"
"Not yet," replied the Adeptus. "I have to make sure you remember everything we discussed."
Mualani groaned as Tubby opened her journal.
"Now then," she began, "How many women are in the United Harem of Aether?"
"49, 50 if you include me."
"Name them."
Mualani rattled off their names in quick succession. They'd been through this so many times now she could recite them all by heart.
"Who is the Speaker of the House and the Senate Majority Leader?"
"Ganyu and Keqing."
"Who are the most and least wholesome members?"
"Most wholesome's Noelle, least's Miko."
"Very good. What—?"
"When interacting with Yae Miko, she must have consent before engaging in BDSM, orgasm denial, pegging, or using aphrodisiacs."
"What are—?"
Mualani rattled off all the articles and amendments of the Constitution, which by now she knew by heart. Then, she went through the landmark cases: the UHA v. the ABE, Cloud Retainer v. UHA which led to Amendment 23 banning women outside the UHA from seducing Aether, and Yae Miko v. President Tubby which led to Amendment 39, a mass strike by all cats of Teyvat, and the birth of the Archon Timmie Lord of Birds/Satan God of Birds.
Mualani next recited the many laws dealing with Yae Miko as well as Tubby's general advice when dealing with her. That list took half an hour to recite fully. Following that, Mualani listed the justices currently on the bench and the general rules of the United Bros of Aether.
Finally—after a whole hour of this—Tubby relented. "You're ready."
Mualani took out the Realm Dispatch and rubbed its surface. Everything went bright. Her little home disappeared, replaced by a vast, grassy field lined with buildings and doohickies. Giant windmills flanked a mansion. Looking around, she spotted other islands with Inazuma shrines, Fontaine courthouses, and Liyue teahouses. She gasped in amazement.
"Please, follow me," said Tubby.
She led Mualani towards the mansion. There, she knocked on the door. Seconds later, it opened. The interior was no less splendid than its exterior: dining tables, exquisite pictures, and a super cozy-looking fireplace. But what really got her attention was the vast rows of tables stretching before a podium, where several women sat.
Tubby brought Mualani through the aisle. The women all watched her with varying expressions. Some seemed curious, others amused, and a few showed no emotion at all. At the podium, Tubby turned to the assembly.
"Ladies, meet our newest member. Please introduce yourself."
Mualani put on her best smile. "Hi! I'm Mualani, a guide from the People of the Springs! I like surfing, hot springs, and making new friends. I hope we all get along!"
They all politely greeted her. Several came up to shake hands and make their introductions. Ganyu and Keqing personally introduced themselves as the House and Senate Leaders. A pink-haired girl Charlotte asked her tons of questions: how'd you meet Aether, how's he doing in Natlan, and did she believe anyone else from Natlan would soon join the UHA? She answered as best she could. Several girls wanted to know about Kachina, mostly, if she was up for adoption.
"Greetings," said a tall woman in a violet kimono, "My name is Ei."
"Oh! You're the Electro Archon!" Mualani bowed, hand over her heart. "It's an honor to meet you."
"Likewise. Please, feel free to address me casually."
Mualani noticed the tall, pink-haired woman in the shrine maiden uniform beside Ei. She smiled, but her eyes twinkled with mischief.
"You must be Yae Miko."
"Ah, I see Tubby's told you all about me."
Mualani sensed a minor note of irritation. Seemed Yae Miko and Tubby had some serious beef.
The ladies showed her around the Teapot and explained their rules. Once finished, they all handed Mualani a bag brimming with gifts for their Aether. It was so heavy that she had no idea how she'd carry this monstrosity anywhere.
She could tell they all loved Aether a lot. Not that she blamed them.
Before leaving, Mualani thanked them for their hospitality.
"Once Aether and I solve the Natlan crisis, I hope we can spend more time together! If you're ever visiting and need a guide, make sure you ask for Mualani of the People of the Springs!"
Mualani departed the mansion, hoping she did okay in there. Those ladies were so beautiful and powerful, that admittedly she felt a little scrappy next to them. People often told her she could be overly enthusiastic when making new friends. She couldn't help feeling like she'd been a little too aggressively kind. Oh well. With any luck, they'd all come around to her eventually.
"So," said Tubby, "what's the verdict?"
"She's super cute," said Yoimiya.
"I can tell she's a strong warrior," said Ei. "Impressive."
"She has a good head on her shoulders," said Beidou.
"She seems responsible," Ningguang observed. "Running her family's store demonstrates maturity on her part."
"She'll be fun," said Yae Miko.
"Yes," chuckled Lisa. "She reminds me of a certain Outrider."
Amber cocked her head. "Really? Who?" In response, Lisa simply giggled.
Everyone else voiced their approval. Tubby allowed herself a smile. Seems Mualani made quite an impression on the girls. They were much faster to embrace her than they were Arlecchino. Natlan's first representative endeared herself to them all quite effectively.
Good, thought Tubby. First impressions with people—especially with the people of the new Nations—were critical. Now that they'd met the first person from Natlan, they'd be more open-minded when the rest came along. Quietly, Tubby thanked Celestia that Mualani was so utterly adorable.
"Now then," said Tubby, "I'd like to discuss potential justices for Natlan. The UBA has claimed Mountain King Kongamoto, Scaredy-Cat Alpaca, Vichama, and Manqui, so those individuals are off the table."
"Darn," murmured Hu Tao. "I really wanted Scaredy-Cat Alpaca…"
"Right. Anyways, I nominate Village Chief Amina of the People of the Springs, Chief of the Scions of the Canopy Wayna, Pacal Chief of the Children of Echoes, and Chuychu. I've scheduled all of them to visit this week so the Congress can interview them."