Domestics are fun to write, what can I say? I'm not even GOOD at writing them, yet here I am. This is what this story has done to me - it's made me good at writing characters not doing plot, dang it.

They didn't speak again; it was only after they left the Library Pavilion that Lan Wangji broke the silence. "I will go see shufu."

Lan Xichen had been quiet but replied to this. "I will take Wei-gongzi and Fu-gongzi back. You may join us later."

He led Wei Wuxian along the Cloud Recesses' white stone paths back to the small, remote, gentian-surrounded cottage deep in the recesses of the clouds.

"Does Lan-xiansheng know that Hanguang-jun…" Wei Wuxian asked when they reached the door.

"Shufu has only just awoken," Lan Xichen replied. "I instructed everyone not to tell him too much."

If Lan Qiren found out what they'd done at Golden Carp Tower, he'd surely be rendered comatose with fury once more after only just waking. It finally occurred to Fu Xuanming that the last time they had seen Lan Qiren, Wei Wuxian had played the flute so badly he had bled from his apertures. It brought a smile to her face.

"It's been tough on Lan-lao-qianbei," Wei Wuxian said.

"It has indeed been tough on shufu," Lan Xichen agreed. Out of the blue, he asked, "Fu Xuanming, do you know what this house is?"

Fu Xuanming admired the beautiful scenery once more. Lan Xichen must have thought Nie Xianle might have given her some memory to indicate why she should know. But nothing immediately came to mind. It was a rather small, simple cottage compared to the normal architecture of the Cloud Recesses, and it was out of the way so much that it could even be used to harbor the most notorious cultivators in the world.

Had she heard of a lone cottage hidden deep among the clouds…?

Lan Xichen glanced at them. "This was once my mother's residence in the Cloud Recesses."

Her eyes widened at the memory of Lan Xichen confessing the tale of his and Lan Wangji's childhood. A nameless little cottage. It had been a lifetime ago, almost literally.

Wei Wuxian immediately recognized something was off. The heads of the Lan Clan of Gusu traditionally took the Wintry Room as their residence, which was a far cry from this small cottage tucked away in a nook of the Cloud Recesses. No matter how you considered it, there couldn't have been a pleasant reason for why the family head and mistress didn't live together. Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu had notoriously been an incompatible pair in a forced marriage.

The wife of Qingheng-jun — the previous head of the Lan Clan of Gusu — was said to have been frail and perpetually in a convalescent state, which made it inadvisable for her to host guests. People knew very little about her to begin with, and so everyone privately speculated that this "illness" might be a front for something too disgraceful to be seen in public, such as a disfigurement or disability. As such, it wasn't Wei Wuxian's place to pry. He held his tongue and waited for Lan Xichen to speak on his own terms.

"Wei-gongzi," Lan Xichen started, "you are probably aware that my father was in seclusion year-round and paid no attention to the affairs of the secular world. The Lan Clan of Gusu was managed by my shufu almost single-handedly all those years."

"That I know," Wei Wuxian confirmed.

Lan Xichen lowered the hand holding Liebing. Both disappeared under the white sleeve. "It was because of my mother that my father was in seclusion year-round," he continued slowly. "Rather than calling this place a residence…one might well call it a prison."

Wei Wuxian was stunned.

Qingheng-jun, the father of Zewu-jun and Hanguang-jun, was once a renowned cultivator with an impressive reputation. He made a name for himself in his youth, but when he came of age at twenty, he suddenly abandoned all his pursuits, announced his marriage, and stopped concerning himself with the affairs of the secular world. While the official reason out forward was seclusion, and it was in truth more like retirement. Many potential reasons were discussed in gossip, but none had ever been confirmed.

Lan Xichen leaned down to a gentian bush and gently stroked the thin, delicate petals.

"My father encountered my mother in his youth outside the city of Gusu on the way back from a Night Hunt." He smiled. "Apparently, it was love at first sight."

Wei Wuxian smiled as well. "Young people are a romantic bunch."

"But she did not reciprocate his feelings," Lan Xichen continued. "And then she killed one of my father's mentors."

This was completely beyond imagining. Wei Wuxian knew it was rude to probe further, but when he considered that these were Lan Wangji's parents, he felt he had to ask, "Why?!"

"I do not know," Lan Xichen admitted. "But I suppose it must come down to the debts of gratitude and grudges between them."

It would be inappropriate to keep prying. Wei Wuxian forced down his curiosity. "So…what happened after that?"

"After that," Lan Xichen resumed, "when my father learned the truth, he was naturally anguished. But after much struggle, he nonetheless secretly brought her back here. Disregarding the clan's objections, not speaking so much as a word to them, he bowed to the Heavens and the Earth with her in wedding rites. He then told everyone in the clan that she was his wife for life, and that anyone who wanted to lay a finger on her had to pass through him."

Wei Wuxian's eyes widened.

"Once the ceremony concluded, my father found a cottage and confined my mother within. He then found another place for himself and confined himself in turn. He called it seclusion, but in truth, it was self-reflection." Lan Xichen asked, after a brief pause, "Wei-gongzi, can you understand his actions?"

Fu Xuanming could only imagine what Madam Lan had felt, living in this place. Had she hated it? Was she stewing in bitterness every day, marrying a man she didn't love? Or was it perhaps that she had loved Qingheng-jun to some degree, but her hands had been stained by too much blood to accept it?

If she wanted to escape this place, would she have done it? Did she want to be here, secretly, thinking it was what she deserved? Was she scared, desperate to live even after the crime she had committed?

When had Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji been born? It was clearly not a single encounter, as the pair were not born twins.

From what Fu Xuanming knew of Qingheng-jun, he was a…he had been a very odd man. She could understand why someone would fall in love with him, no matter how much that incessant smile of his irritated them. A free spirit, an unrestrained heart. Loving without reserve, even if it brought him to ruin. Love so destructive, it would persist even if it hurt the one he loved.

Even if she didn't love him with all her heart, Fu Xuanming thought that if she were Madam Lan, she would have to admire his tenacity.

After a while, Lan Xichen said quietly, "It could be said that my father completely disregarded the consequences of his actions. The clan elders were enraged, but they had all watched him grow up. In the end, there was nothing they could do but keep it a secret and hint to outsiders that the mistress of the Lan Clan of Gusu had an unmentionable illness and was thus indisposed to host guests. When Wangji and I were born, they immediately removed us and put us in the care of others. Once we were old enough, we were handed over to our shufu to be taught and raised. My shufu…is frank and upright by nature. Because my mother's crimes caused my father to destroy his own life, he came to particularly loathe those who behaved with such disregard. For that reason, he was particularly strict when raising Wangji and I. We could only see our mother once a month in this little cottage."

It wasn't any easier to hear the story told a second time. Fu Xuanming couldn't help but add, "Two children who had done nothing wrong, punished for the crimes of their parents."

It impressed her once again how Lan Xichen had ever had the strength to smile after being raised by a stern shufu, strict teachings, and mountains of books. They had been perfect role models in the eyes of others, because even the tiniest bit of deviance was a reminder of how their father had practically gone insane pursuing his heart's desire. She wouldn't have blamed Lan Xichen if he had ended up as reserved and quiet as Lan Wangji.

Fu Xuanming had been afraid of Lan Xichen's smile, in the beginning. Even now, she found it intimidating — but for a whole different reason. Back then, she had wondered what ulterior motives could have hidden behind that smile. She thought he was just like Jin Guangyao, hiding an immense amount of pain and anger that would have to amount to something dangerous the moment he snapped. Now, in hindsight, she thought that it was terrifying how strong he had to be to still find it in him to be so optimistic when his life had been so bereft of joy. The choice to smile in the face of his imprisonment had been basically the only choice he'd had.

Fu Xuanming thought that Nie Xianle was weeping, somewhere inside her. He had never wanted to hurt Lan Xichen, but discovering and exposing Jin Guangyao for what he had done would reopen old wounds and tear open new ones. He would be erasing everything Lan Xichen had known about Jin Guangyao — most of it, anyway. He might even be severing Lan Xichen's ability to trust, two times. Jin Guangyao for his endless acting, the kindness that Lan Xichen believed in; even if it had been false in some instances, perhaps it had also been true in others. And Nie Xianle, for keeping this whole investigation and scheme a secret from him — the truth about his da-ge and his san-di that he had a right to know, that he should have been given the chance to seek the truth for himself.

But Nie Xianle had done the right thing, in Fu Xuanming's opinion. Lan Xichen would have confronted Jin Guangyao before there was any solid proof to be uncovered, and in the process warn Jin Guangyao that someone was investigating him. Lan Xichen would be an enemy if he couldn't be fooled into complacency, and Lan Xichen couldn't act civil if there was something to be addressed. Though Jin Guangyao had cared for Lan Xichen deeply, if he was any sort of threat to Jin Guangyao's life and livelihood, he might say "I simply have no choice" and neutralize that threat one way or another. Perhaps he wouldn't kill Lan Xichen, but there were plenty of other ways to manipulate the naïve, optimistic Sect Leader Lan.

Fu Xuanming hated being proven right. She had always known Lan Xichen would one day be manipulated or outplayed because of his kind nature. She had hoped that person would be herself, and not someone even more ruthless. But she had almost convinced herself that he was smart enough or strong enough to anticipate loss and accept it when it happened.

"Every time Wangji and I visited her, she never complained about how dreary it was to be so confined, with her freedom so restricted," Lan Xichen said. "And she never asked about our studies. She particularly loved to tease Wangji, but you know him, of course — the more you tease him, the more he clams up and the sourer his face gets. He has always been that way, ever since he was a child. However…" He chuckled. "…Although Wangji never said as much, I knew he spent every month waiting for the day he got to see Mother. That was how he was. That was how I was."

Thinking back on it, no wonder Lan Wangji expected Wei Wuxian to never return his feelings. Not only was he also a boy, but Lan Wangji had a mother who had not loved his father even when he had married her just to save her life. Falling in love with a man, a troublemaker of catastrophic proportions, and a constant flirt and tease. Was it that Lan Wangji thought Wei Wuxian's actions after his resurrection were just him trying to get a reaction, like when they were kids? So Lan Wangji ignored it when he could, and was just happy to have Wei Wuxian's attention in the meantime.

To take what they could get and expect so little in return. Yes, she imagined they had always been this way.

Wei Wuxian imagined a young Lan Wangji being held in his mother's embrace, with his little snow-white face flushed pink. He laughed as well, but before their laughter dispersed, Lan Xichen continued his tale.

"But one day, shufu told us that we need not go anymore. Mother was gone."

"How old was Lan Zhan at the time?" Wei Wuxian asked quietly.

"Six," Lan Xichen replied. "He was too young to understand what 'gone' meant. No matter how much others consoled him or how shufu scolded him, he continued to come here every month and sit under the veranda, waiting for someone to open the door. Even when he grew older and came to understand that Mother would never come back, that no one would ever open the door again, he would still come." Lan Xichen stood up, his dark eyes staring directly at Wei Wuxian. "Wangji has always been very stubborn, ever since he was young."

Leaves rustled. The congregation of gentians around the cottage swayed affectionately with the wind. Fu Xuanming flicked her hand and sent a soothing breeze across the flowers. She imagined a young child in a forehead ribbon, sitting all prim and proper on the wooden veranda, waiting in silence for the door to open.

"Did you ever come and wait for the door to open, Huan-xiansheng?" Fu Xuanming asked.

"Sometimes," Lan Xichen confessed.

"Madam Lan must have been a very gentle woman," Wei Wuxian said.

"The mother in my memories was certainly so. I do not know her reasons for having committed such a deed back then, and in fact, I…" Lan Xichen inhaled deeply and then confessed, "…I have no wish to know."

After a long silence, Lan Xichen lowered his eyes and took out Liebing. A gust of night wind elicited a murmur from the xiao, low and heavy, like a sigh. Zewu-jun's playing had not changed in all these long years. The sound of the xiao was still like spring breeze melting into rain — warm and gentle and refined. While the music was as exquisite as ever, it left a bitter taste in one's mouth.

The night breeze gently caressed them. Lan Xichen's black hair was already a little disheveled, and his forehead ribbon slightly askew, but the head of the Lan Clan of Gusu — who was always mindful of his deportment — took no notice. It was only when his song concluded that he put down Liebing.

"Playing music late at night is prohibited in the Cloud Recesses. I have stepped out of line and made a mockery of myself before Wei-gongzi many times tonight."

Fu Xuanming moved to straighten his forehead ribbon and sent a small breeze to untangle his hair. "Don't worry so much about it. Has Zewu-jun forgotten that the one who's violated the most rules of all stands before you now…?"

Lan Xichen chuckled. "The Lan Clan of Gusu has never revealed my or Wangji's past to the public. I had the urge to pour my heart out tonight and did so on impulse."

"You told Fu Xuanming before." Even Wei Wuxian could tell that she had not been surprised by any of the revelations. "And she has never told me. We are not the gossipy sort, so Zewu-jun can rest assured."

"Nevertheless, I suppose Wangji would not hide anything from you either," Lan Xichen idly observed.

"If he isn't willing to say, I won't ask," Wei Wuxian said.

And therein laid the problem.

"But given Wangji's personality, how will he say anything if you do not ask?" Lan Xichen pressed him. "And there are some things that he will not say even if you do."

And therein laid the other problem.

Fu Xuanming had heard about miscommunication, but this certainly couldn't be considered that.

Wei Wuxian was about to reply when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw Lan Wangji walk over, bathed in moonlight. In his right hand were two round wine jugs with bright red seals.

Wei Wuxian's eyes lit up. "Hanguang-jun, you're too sweet!"

Lan Wangji approached and handed the jugs of Emperor's Smile to him. Wei Wuxian pranced into the cottage with the jugs in his arms, and Lan Wangji shook his head at his retreating back, though his gaze was extremely gentle.

Lan Xichen glanced at him. "You brought them over from your room?"

Lan Wangji nodded.

"You…had best not touch alcohol," he advised. "Be careful not to end up as you did back then."

His eyes fell upon the fold of clothing near Lan Wangji's collarbone. Lan Wangji lowered his head to glance at his chest. "It will not happen again."

Lan Xichen forced a smile, then heaved another sigh.

"They will be fine, Huan-xiansheng," Fu Xuanming insisted. "Wangji-didi only has one thing on his mind when lost to drink, and he is no longer out of reach! Let's give them their privacy."

She snuck away with Lan Xichen, unconcerned about being caught for anything with her sound nullification and the fact that the Cloud Recesses was asleep at this hour. Fu Xuanming had been on edge about Lan Xichen's reaction to everything Nie Xianle had done, but he seemed in a good enough mood since Wei Wuxian had awoken. The investigation into Jin Guangyao wasn't going to be easy for him, but his impartiality to both sides made her feel a little better. All she could do for him was ease him into this transition of trust and mistrust, and hope to comfort him when they came out the other side. One way or another, he would lose a sworn brother or a blood brother in this confrontation — not literally, but…maybe literally.

Seeing as he wasn't angry at her, however, she spoke as she normally would to pretend like things between them were normal at all.

"Gosh, it's been a while since you first told me that story, hasn't it? Wasn't it that time some fierce corpses escaped, and I nearly took out your eye? Not even for the first time, if I recall," Fu Xuanming mused fondly. Ah, they had been so young and innocent.

"You made us both fall rather inelegantly into the cold springs," Lan Xichen recalled.

"And right after I'd dried us off, too. I pulled off your forehead ribbon, so I suppose I deserved it. That, and much more. You were never good at punishing me, though. Well, you were good at punishing me by not punishing me."

They made it to the Wintry Room, and Fu Xuanming sat on the edge of the bed while Lan Xichen slowly closed the doors behind him. "Fu Xuanming…you still can't contact Xianle?"

"Not consciously, no. Believe me, I wish I could. I sometimes think I know what he's thinking and feeling. His emotions tickle me in this body of his. But then I feel like I don't know him at all. It's been so long since I did know him, you know? Thirteen years is a long time. He more than grew up while I was gone, and he was already growing a lot while I was there. Sometimes, it's like he's not even there at all. I reach out to him, to his memories, thinking he must have something to say or to feel about the current situation, but…there's nothing. We're always going to be connected thanks to the circumstances…but it's actually scary to be alone in my mind."

Lan Xichen slowly joined her on the bed, carefully setting Liebing on the table beside. "Why do you think he summoned you? A lack of value for himself? To find assistance tracking his…our da-ge? Or because of me? He thought for some reason, you would make me happier than he already did?"

She'd thought about it too many times already. She'd gone around in circles wondering all the same things. Nie Xianle was so sad, in so many ways. The one thing that never failed to cheer him up was just the thought of Lan Xichen.

"Do you think…he was afraid?" Fu Xuanming said.

"Afraid of me? Of facing the consequences of his actions?"

"Only if Jin Guangyao is truly guilty, of course. Your suggestion about a third party setting everyone against each other could still very well hold true…"

Lan Xichen exhaled. "Even if it is some grand scheme, it's all the more sinister if these accusations are indeed true. Just because they are a weapon to bring down their enemy, it doesn't make it right to conceal the truth just to prevent another from having their way."

Fu Xuanming slowly inclined her head. "Then you believe us, now."

"I will seek the truth, and consider the consequences and ramifications once all has been confirmed." Lan Xichen's fingers curled into fists along his lap. "How long? How long had A-Le been investigating Mingjue-xiong's death? Has he been doing it alone this whole time? To what lengths has he gone to — to what end? Did he think that once the truth had come out, I would be in such agony that he couldn't stay by my side? Is A-Yao the only one he seeks to accuse? How many others might be working with him…or conspiring in his stead — how many people has Xianle tried to take on all alone?"

Lan Xichen didn't seem to notice when he began addressing Nie Xianle directly. Fu Xuanming didn't know what he was feeling inside, but she knew that somehow he had to be listening.

"How long have you been suffering right in front of me? Am I really so useless that you couldn't trust me? That I couldn't help you or bear the weight of knowing such truths before you had any proof? You wanted me to have A-Yao as I knew him for as long as possible — but you never gave me a choice!"

Lan Xichen caught himself just as he was raising his voice. He was tired, both physically and mentally — and especially emotionally. He was awake long into the night, he had been digging through Forbidden Books for hours, he had relived the childhood that had made him and Lan Wangji who they were.

When Lan Xichen next spoke, he had returned to a somewhat normal volume, but the distress was still evident. "If there is evidence, I will not condone the crime."

Fu Xuanming wasn't sure if it was herself or Nie Xianle who moved, but even if it wasn't her, she agreed with the gesture. She had snuck closer and snaked her arms around his waist, pressing her head into the crook of his neck. "I know."

"After all this time, I still wonder…of all the people in my life, Fu Xu, have you been the only one who's been completely honest with me?"

"Surely not. I've lied to you plenty of times, directly and indirectly."

This caused him to laugh just slightly, exhaling through his nose. "And yet you are the most honest about your dishonesty. I know you and Wangji and even Wei-gongzi — you will all tell me not to blame myself. But how can I not?"

Fu Xuanming insisted, "I won't tell you that, even if I want to, because I know how hopeless you are. I've never been very good at stopping the worst things from happening, and so I invite them and pretend it was all my idea. All I can do — all any of us can do — is learn to live with it. All the good, all the bad."

Lan Xichen took a deep breath. He would be doing a lot of that. "You said you don't care whether he is guilty or not. But if he is…you will help me take A-Yao's punishment into my hands and seek reformation? There will be those who think death is the only option, but I know A-Yao…he is not beyond salvation."

Though she was reluctant to have anything to do with someone so dangerous, and who had hurt Nie Xianle in such a way, for Lan Xichen's sake, she agreed, "I will. I don't think you can handle him alone if you can't decide what is true and what is false, but you want what's best for him and you want to see the best in him even with all the qualities that others might find rather undesirable. My best friend is Wei Wuxian; I know a thing or two about the grays between black and white."

Lan Xichen nodded and seemed to press further into her embrace. "Wei-gongzi, A-Yao, and however many others. This world can truly be so unfair."

She kissed his neck and then nudged him to lay down. "Enough. You've had more than your share of thinking in such a way. Anyone would be exhausted. Get some sleep."

Lan Xichen seemed to smile so sadly to himself. "You will be there when I wake?"

"We both will. I'll make sure of it."

Of course, Fu Xuanming had no idea if she could stop Nie Xianle if he somehow took control, short of tying them both up with Ruoye and ordering the ribbon to obey her and not him. Eming had insisted she keep Ruoye on her now that both she and Nie Xianle alike were considered fugitives. What a sight that would be, after all this stress, Lan Xichen waking up to find Fu Xuanming had tied up Nie Xianle while they were arguing with one another in the same body.

"I will stay with you, Huan-xiansheng. I won't leave," she promised further.

With this reassurance, Lan Xichen closed his eyes, and Fu Xuanming watched over him with a warmth in her aching heart that she wished she could say for sure was all her own.

Fu Xuanming tried to go over what she knew.

Nie Xianle had been suffering ever since she'd been sealed away. He had lost his da-ge, investigated it along with Nie Huaisang and possibly Fu Lianmin, and discovered Jin Guangyao had somehow had a hand in — at the very least — the desecration of his corpse. Even if they hadn't found evidence that he had directly been part of the death (that it was indeed a murder), they had discovered Jin Guangyao was somewhat friends with Xue Yang and had used his skills with the demonic arts to find a way to try and suppress the resentful energy of Nie Mingjue, who had died during a qi deviation with only Jin Guangyao's death on his mind. Innocent or not, Jin Guangyao would have been afraid of his da-ge coming back from the dead as the fiercest corpse to have been made since Wen Ning.

Nie Xianle had tried to get information from Xue Yang thanks to Fu Lianmin conspiring to keep him alive even after Jin Guangyao tried to silence him. Friendship or usefulness aside, Xue Yang was more than a liability, and perhaps Nie Huaisang had even planned something to have convinced Jin Guangyao to turn on Xue Yang to further convince him to at least hand over the information they wanted. However, Nie Xianle had stumbled upon Xiao Xingchen, and ended up stalling in his efforts to try and preserve what little remained of the bright daozhang's spirits. So long as he never knew who Xue Yang was or what he'd done, couldn't they live a lie forever?

But that was not the way the world worked. In the end, Nie Xianle fled to the Cloud Recesses in a moment of desperation and was picked up and protected by Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji. He had begun to recover his mental state and be protected from Xue Yang's retribution. At some point, he had continued his work with Nie Huaisang and maybe Fu Lianmin, contributing by seeking out ways to gain access to Fu Xuanming's abilities and even planning to host her for whatever reason. He had succeeded somehow, he had fallen in love with Lan Xichen somehow, and he had even brought back the Yiling Patriarch beside her.

And thus did they end up in the present. Fu Xuanming was returned, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had led an investigation to eliminate Xue Yang and even restore all of Nie Mingjue's body, and now they had even found a plausible method and evidence of Jin Guangyao actively murdering Chifeng-zun.

Sure, there was the small hiccup of Wei Wuxian being exposed and Nie Xianle going on a rampage with Nie Mingjue's head, but at least they had their problems all out in the open. The only way they could move was forward. Wei Wuxian's return would be discovered eventually, and Fu Xuanming hadn't even been properly exposed.

Actually, no. There was one mystery Fu Xuanming hadn't yet figured out: her own body.

Was it part of Nie Xianle and Nie Huaisang's plans to have her body taken over? She had arrived that day to challenge them, to taunt them, to pointedly encourage Lan Xichen to not hesitate even when it was someone he knew and valued. He had to be ready to strike even Fu Xuanming. Even Jin Guangyao.

If it wasn't Fu Lianmin in her body, who else could it have been? It had to have been someone who knew that Fu Xuanming was in Nie Xianle's body. Even accounting for Eming's participation in all of this, he had been there when "Fu Xuanming" had attacked with Kangkai and the hell flute Manyue.

Now that she thought about it, Da-mei had not been present. Was her blade being used in some other scheme? No, Da-mei was a semi-sentient ghost. She couldn't act independently as Eming did because she was not a conventional ghost. But she could definitely prevent anyone else from wielding her. Maybe she was still at the Burial Mounds, unmovable and unyielding to any who sought to use her for their own ends.

Or maybe, Nie Xianle had managed to gain even her trust, and had her working in the other half of this grand scheme as well.

"Xianle, Xianle, Xianle …"

He had grown up to be just as secretive, crafty, and mysterious as her. Should she be proud?

Fu Xuanming couldn't blame the Nie brothers for having to go this far. Jin Guangyao was a slippery type. He had always had a capacity for apathy and cruelty, even back when he was just a youth doing his best on the field of battle during the Sunshot Campaign. As kind and generous as he was ruthless and uncaring. He had gotten away with murdering their da-ge and even succeeded his bastard of a father after all the challenges before him. Fu Xuanming hated to think even Jin Zixuan's death had somehow been orchestrated by Jin Guangyao…

"Fu-gongzi…?"

"Mn. I'm still here."

Lan Xichen had awoken at mao time as usual. He didn't toss and tumble in his sleep, like Fu Xuanming tended to do. She slept light (if she even slept at all), and so woke many times in the night, always on alert, and stretched to keep her limbs from stiffening up before returning to unconsciousness when she determined things were safe for now.

Even when Lan Xichen woke, he didn't yawn or rub his eyes or have to untangle his hair. He was elegant in sleep, elegant in waking. He hadn't changed out of his robes or undone his hair the night before because of the stressful circumstances, and so Fu Xuanming rose from her seat at one of the desks and helped undo his hairpiece to let his dark hair flow free. She ran her fingers through it as if to help brush it, even though no brushing needed to be done.

Lan Xichen's smile seemed slightly groggy, but at least it was genuine now. It had been so strained and painful over the past few days, that Fu Xuanming actually felt properly comforted by it. "You've been awake all night?"

"Not awake. Meditating. I did leave your side, but only for a little bit, I assure you."

She had prepared a breakfast for him as well as brought a bathtub. She wasn't sure she knew his morning routine, but cleaning up and eating certainly had to be part of it.

Fu Xuanming would have never thought to do such things before, she speculated. She was not good with normal domestic routines, but Nie Xianle was. He had seemed to guide her along every step, including setting out new robes, preparing the bath and screen, and even cooking a meal of leafy veggies and greens that she never would have eaten in her old life, much less made.

"My teeth will rot," she murmured to herself.

Lan Xichen had obviously caught what she'd said, but he had also seemed to catch the meaning. "Too sweet for you?"

"Yes," Fu Xuanming pouted. "I'm not some housewife who spends her time doing all the chores and setup so her husband doesn't have to."

She was still enjoying running her fingers through Lan Xichen's hair for no reason at all.

Lan Xichen snickered, almost mischievously. The audacity! "I would have you wake to such luxuries, if only you slept when I did not."

"Did you do this for Xianle?" Fu Xuanming wondered, knowing the answer.

"Yes. He sleeps very soundly, by my side."

She would have imagined he'd have constant nightmares, with the life he'd lived. That must have been Lan Xichen's influence, whether they were a couple or not. She could imagine Lan Xichen seeing Nie Xianle losing sleep, and so insisting they rested together so he could chase the nightmares away. Nie Xianle would have been so flustered, he'd spend his night thinking only of the handsome man looking after him, rather than the whirlpool of ceaseless troubles weighing down his heart. His weakness to handsome men finally had a practical use!

"He must be a big rock," Fu Xuanming speculated. "A heavy weight tangled up with you and sleeping so soundly, you're like a rabbit caught under a bear."

Lan Xichen laughed. "I'm not so fragile, and he is not so cumbersome. Does he feel as such, when you are in a body not your own?"

"Yes. Though not in a bad way. I've always wanted to have the chance to experience the world from a tall person's perspective. I gained inches where Wei Wuxian lost them, so who's the real winner?"

It wasn't a competition, but Lan Xichen agreed, "You, for certain. And me too, perhaps."

"You?"

"I have those I would offer my heart to together as one," Lan Xichen said so simply. "How could I not claim victory in some regard?"

Fu Xuanming's fingers came to a halt in their mindless practices. Of the many things they had yet to address, the feelings shared between the two of them in particular was high on the list of things she wanted to avoid addressing. She had fallen into an easy rhythm with him, just existing as though they were old friends reunited after so long because she just happened to be in the area. Other than that time he had exposed her by rightfully kissing Nie Xianle rather than torturing information out of him, he hadn't made any inappropriate advances.

Lan Xichen had twisted around to take Fu Xuanming's — Nie Xianle's — hands within his and slowly place a kiss along each knuckle. "Even if you could never love me, and I could never love you, my heart was yours from beginning to end."

Fu Xuanming's hand jerked back, from his touch and his words. "Lan Xichen — Zewu-jun…there is only so many times I can dirty you with my stained hands before you're permanently tainted yourself."

Lan Xichen's smile didn't falter. There wasn't even a hint of sadness behind his eyes as she said, "I know. I always knew. But I enjoy taking what I can get."

The two of them had never officially become anything in her old life because of her distant nature, but she had still enjoyed what moments they'd been able to share. The fleeting days of peace before the cultivation world came crashing down around them.

Of all the awful things she'd done, she thought to herself that Lan Xichen had never outright denounced her. He had never done so for Wei Wuxian, either, even if just for his brother's sake. But Lan Xichen was just too kind and forgiving, and he tried to see the best of a bad situation. In a way, she had always envied him. When was the last time she had stared into the void of oblivion with a smile on her face?

"About your father, Qingheng-jun. I didn't mean to kill him."

"I know," Lan Xichen replied easily.

Fu Xuanming was slightly taken aback by the ease at which he dismissed the matter. "How could you know? I was in such an awful state back then, after the Nightless City Massacre. You don't know what I did or didn't do, whether I wanted to or not."

"I had faith in you. Besides, it never made much sense. If you held his life in your hands and intended to threaten me or anyone else with it, why would you not make some announcement beforehand? My assumption was that during the activation of the Yin Tiger Tally, your gift of a Clarity Bell somehow rebounded and affected him as well."

The Clarity Bell had initially been a gift for Lan Xichen, to keep him safe after the Wen Clan's attack on the Cloud Recesses. Instead, she had given it to Qingheng-jun while she herself pursued Lan Xichen on the run. She had felt a need to keep his father safe, knowing it was one of the few instances she might ever see him come out of his seclusion.

Fu Xuanming had tied her own deitific healing properties to the Clarity Bell's functions. It would protect the mind and body, heal damage at an incremental rate, and light the way if ever one was trapped in the darkness. One of her many experiments trying to channel her magic into a usable form.

The activation of the Yin Tiger Tally in the Nightless City Massacre had indeed been a dangerous catalyst for all that had gone wrong. The Clarity Bell protected from some damage, but mostly healed damage over time. Qingheng-jun was rarely putting himself in active danger, and so the Clarity Bell rarely had to do such work. When the Yin Tiger Tally overtook both her and Wei Wuxian, Fu Xuanming had taken the brunt of the destructive rebound, even if it meant she died from it. She was certain she had died a couple of times, but she wouldn't be able to say how many times.

The unfortunate result was her own healing magic becoming corrupted in the process; dozens of rapid deaths from a weapon as dangerous as the Yin Tiger Tally. This would normally be no issue, as she had never had anyone else relying on her healing magic before. Though even Fu Xuanming could only theorize the details, she just knew that and the healing and magic and energy she had poured into the Clarity Bell to keep its wielder safe had been corrupted just like the rest of her.

How bad was it that she was glad it had been Qingheng-jun and not Zewu-jun — the original intended recipient?

"Still, I've never properly apologized," Fu Xuanming said. "Whatever the reason, whatever the result, your father died, and my Clarity Bell is the reason why."

"It's in the past," Lan Xichen insisted. "Regardless, I think his life ended a long, long time ago. Back when my mother's life ended. She used to say that when a lovebird dies, the one remaining will just…give up living, so it can join its mate. My father loved her so much that he threw his life away. They were both alive thanks to his actions, but they could never truly live. Then, she passed away. She never complained when we visited her, never showed any signs of distress. I know she loved us dearly, and I think she may have even loved my father to some extent — even if she had so little choice. Maybe we were the reason, or maybe she just appreciated some level of his foolish dedication to her. In the end, she never got to see us grow up, and in a way, neither did our father."

"Whether they are together or apart, you think they are happier?"

"I hope so."

Fu Xuanming left him to bathe and then tidy up for the morning in his new set of robes. She had snuck a meal for herself in some noodles and proper spices and seasoning, courtesy of Lan Wangji showing her where the kitchens were in the Cloud Recesses.

"You should bathe too," Lan Xichen said. "Whether or not I have accepted your current state, that's no excuse not to take care of that body."

Fu Xuanming had the decency to look ashamed when she realized she hadn't bathed since the day before the Grand Symposium. She was used to going months with barely any care to her hygiene — mostly because she was often living in the wild, sometimes on the run. Wei Wuxian had been forced to toss her into the lakes at Yunmeng like a cat back when she'd first agreed to settle there. And she never stripped down further than a set of inner robes, always covered in some way and washing her clothes along with her. It wasn't a very odd sight in Yunmeng.

Lan Xichen provided her a change of Nie Xianle's robes, and she did the responsible thing and actually stripped so she didn't end up ruining his clothes. Fu Xuanming did the requisite soak and scrub with soap, trying not to be too awkward about her current body. She'd been in it long enough not to be too bothered, but something about having Lan Xichen just a screen away made her slightly flustered. She wasn't used to shame. She hoped it went away already.

Once she had properly tied and tucked and confirmed with Lan Xichen that her robes were folded over correctly, he helped tie up Nie Xinale's hair with the utmost delicacy.

"We have an uninvited guest."

Lan Xichen handed her one of the high-level jade travel tokens. With its authority, if an outsider was to breach the Cloud Recesses' barrier, he would be immediately alerted. But no one had dared intrude so boldly into the Cloud Recesses for over ten years.

"Lan Huan…"

"I can handle it," he assured her. "You stay out of sight. Stay safe."

"Okay…but if you're overwhelmed, you have to say something."

Lan Xichen seemed unimaginably happy to hear her words. "Thank you for worrying about me. But have faith in me as well. You have done your part, I will do mine."

It wasn't so much that Fu Xuanming didn't trust him…okay, she didn't trust him. But more than that, whenever she cared about someone, she wanted to do everything she could to ease their burdens. Lan Xichen wasn't good at lying nor putting up fronts of false civility when he was distressed. Fu Xuanming would lie without any hesitation if it could keep Lan Xichen from even having to try.

She almost surprised herself with how quick she had been to flip from distancing herself from Lan Xichen to openly and actively going into protection mode. Flipping the switch to admit to herself that she was willing or unwilling to care about certain people felt so binary, like yin and yang, black and white. It was all or nothing. Caring was such a dangerous thing between those who did and didn't fear death.

"Stay close," Lan Xichen said lightly. "Wangji and Wei-gongzi should be here as well. He would not come here for no reason."

Fu Xuanming and Lan Xichen organized the Wintry Room to make a safe place behind the screens for a hiding spot. She met Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian out amidst the thick bamboo forest surrounding the pavilion.

Wei Wuxian noted the wooden plaque in surprise. "The Wintry Room?"

"You've never been here before?" Fu Xuanming realized. "Ah, I suppose that makes sense."

She could practically see Wei Wuxian's grin long before it manifested on his actual face. "Ooo, you've spent lots of time in Sect Leader Lan's Wintry Room, haven't you? Have you defiled every corner yet —?"

Lan Wangji picked Wei Wuxian up by the collar and Fu Xuanming silenced him as they made their way inside. With enough protest, Lan Wangji finally dropped him as they passed the threshold. Lan Xichen sat with poise in position, and exchanged a glance with Lan Wangji, in which both seemed to come to a tacit understanding. Fu Xuanming then led them behind the carefully positioned screen.

After a while, the bamboo blinds of the Wintry Room lifted. Light footsteps padded into the room. Then the guest seemed to have sat down opposite Lan Xichen. A moment passed before they heard the sound of jade and stone knocking against each other. It seemed someone had set something on the table and pushed it over.

Lan Xichen was the first one to speak. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I'm returning it to er-ge," the guest answered. It was Jin Guangyao.

"This was a gift from me to you," Lan Xichen said.

"This travel token has never failed me, all these years. But now that it is no longer effective, it's time for me to return it to its rightful owner."

Zewu-jun and Lianfang-zun had a close personal friendship, and so Lan Xichen had given Jin Guangyao a travel token for unimpeded access in and out of the Cloud Recesses. But in all likelihood, he had either modified the barrier's rules or revoked the access privileges of Jin Guangyao's jade token at some point over the past few days. When Jin Guangyao came to visit and saw that he was refused entry, he had taken the initiative to return the jade token.

As predicted, Lan Xichen wasn't very good at feigning civility. While Jin Guangyao made a concession, Lan Xichen maintained his silence. After a moment, he asked, "What is the nature of this visit?"

"There's still no news regarding Hanguang-jun and the Yiling Patriarch," Jin Guangyao said. "San-di…there is still no sign of him or da-ge's head. No news is perhaps good news; if he has caused no further harm, we can still save him. Many clans have their misgivings and are voicing dissent at my refusal to let others investigate the Cloud Recesses. Er-ge, when it's convenient for you, it would be best if you open the gates for a couple of hours. I'll bring some men over to help you deal with it."

Fu Xuanming had to hand it to him, he sounded like he wasn't at all interested in the whereabouts of the Yiling Patriarch, nor even the head of Nie Mingjue.

Beyond the screen, Jin Guangyao spoke up again, "Er-ge, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lan Xichen replied, but very clearly something was wrong — especially to someone so keen as Jin Guangyao.

Fu Xuanming couldn't help but think he was doing it on purpose. Lan Xichen could be so subtly sneaky. He wouldn't be able to hide that he was distressed, but it was easy enough to indicate that he was just worried about the ones he loved.

"If you're worried about Wangji, you don't have to be," Jin Guangyao assured him. "Hanguang-jun is of an upright and righteous character. This much has been made apparent to every clan over all these years. He must have been deceived into doing this. Besides, he has not done anything irredeemable yet. In addition, you and I both know A-He's character as well. He is a kind young man, gentle and merciful. He was possessed by the awful resentment of da-ge — likely lured into a trap to cause such a distressing scene for all of us. Whoever has plotted this scheme, using you, me, Hanguang-jun, san-di, da-ge…it is up to us to remain vigilant and level-headed to unravel their scheme at the roots. Just explain things clearly when the time comes. I won't give others the opportunity to gossip."

"When the time comes?" Lan Xichen echoed. "When is that?"

"After the Burial Mounds have been cleaned out," Jin Guangyao explained.

Fu Xuanming and Wei Wuxian shared a surprised expression.

Lan Xichen repeated, "The Burial Mounds?"

Jin Guangyao began to explain further. "Since the fight at Golden Carp Tower, anomalies have been sighted in Moling, Lanling, Yunming, and more. Graveyards have been destroyed, corpses have vanished without a trace. There are signs that a large number of corpses are moving in the direction of Yiling. They are probably heading for the Burial Mounds."

"For what purpose?"

"I don't know. People have speculated that Wei Wuxian has initiated some kind of evil array or used the Yin Tiger Tally."

"He was stabbed by Jin Ling at Golden Carp Tower. Is he in any state to initiate such things?" Lan Xichen pointed out.

"Er-ge, consider the extent of Wei Wuxian's injuries during the battle with Sect Leader Jiang, when he betrayed the Jiang Clan of Yunmeng," Jin Guangyao said. "Didn't he still return to summon and command corpses? Is there anything in the world that could prove difficult for the Yiling Patriarch?"

"He is in the body of Mo Xuanyu. That may limit him to some degree."

"We can only speculate as to his current limitations, but it's better to be prepared for the worst. In any case, I suspect there will be a Second Siege of the Burial Mounds soon," Jin Guangyao continued. "I've already asked a few other clans to attend at Golden Carp Tower to discuss this matter. Er-ge, are you coming?"

Lan Xichen answered after a while, "Yes. Go and wait for me in the Elegance Room. I will leave with you shortly."

After Jin Guangyao left, Lan Xichen stepped behind the screen and exchanged a look with Lan Wangji. "I am going to Golden Carp Tower. Both of you go to the Burial Mounds."

Lan Wangji slowly nodded. "Very good."

"If he is truly false, I will not tolerate it," Lan Xichen said.

"I know," Fu Xuanming said.

"Where will A-Ming be going?" Wei Wuxian asked.

"I will be looking for the Yin Tiger Tally," she said. "It has a great range, but it can't possibly control that many corpses without being noticed. It means someone's on the move with it, digging up all those corpses, and they're going to run out of energy eventually. The more corpses they try to control, too, the worse the burden will become."

Wei Wuxian nodded. "We have to consider the possibility that someone is willing to sacrifice their life if they truly want to use the Yin Tiger Tally on such a scale. That's not mentioning what kind of improvements Xue Yang could have made with all that time in its possession."

"He was a prodigy in the demonic arts," Fu Xuanming said, "as well as being rather synchronized with the dead more than the living. But even he would have not been able to use the Yin Tiger Tally for long stretches of time without being overwhelmed by it. Our current culprit can't be any better than him."

"You have a means of tracking down the artifact?" Lan Xichen asked.

"I can figure something out, I'm sure."

"You shouldn't go alone. You must take heed of the location of your former body and the one who inhabits it. Do you know where young Eming is?"

"I can find him, too."

"We shall escort you until then," Lan Wangji volunteered. He was worried about her too.

"Right! No going it alone until we say so," Wei Wuxian agreed. "You can't be trusted on your lonesome. I suppose I'll just have to step up as your honorary chaperone and take care of you. Trust in your da-shixiong."

Fu Xuanming snickered. "What da-shixiong? I am your da-shixiong now."

"I was your da-shixiong first — in mind!"

"I was your da-shixiong first — in body. Besides, Lan Wangji is doing all the protecting. You're just there to do all the talking."

Wei Wuxian winked and held up a finger to make a point. "And to look good while doing it, which is the most important part, as you know. This Mo-gongzi could rank up there in the top ten — now that there are some vacancies since when we were alive."

Fu Xuanming crossed her arms and frowned down at him. "Nie Xianle was always more handsome than Mo Xuanyu. I'm obviously the winner. Huan-xiansheng agrees, doesn't he?"

"Let's not make it a competition," Lan Xichen chuckled.

"Lan-gongzi," Fu Xuanming said, in a way she had not addressed him often.

"What's this? I thought you didn't like prolonged farewells."

"I don't. I don't want this to be a farewell, but I'm worried it could be."

Lan Xichen's smile blossomed, not at the idea that Fu Xuanming worried about him, but at the idea that she would actively be admitting it. "He would never hurt me, no matter what he has been accused of or done. If nothing else, he seeks to feign ignorance as it stands, and he has always been willing to talk to me. Whoever A-Yao might be, he is not quick to jump to murdering indiscriminately."

"I know. But he might be pushed into a corner, and you need to be ready for anything. Anyway, I'm not warning you about him," Fu Xuanming said quickly. "I'm warning you about me."

"A-Xu," Lan Xichen said with the utmost care. "I trust you just as I trust A-Yao, just as I trust Xianle."

"Clearly Xianle does not trust Jin Guangyao. His da-ge was killed, and if Jin Guangyao is truly the perpetrator, I don't know what he's going to do. But my disciple has grown very keen and very cunning, and he takes after me in ways that are rather worrisome. Anyone who takes after me is worrisome."

Lan Xichen's smile turned sad, but it didn't fade. "You're worried Xianle will kill him…or worse, seek equal retribution in kind."

"And I will somehow be key to that revenge. Whatever you've decided, he seems to have made up his mind. It's only a matter of how he executes his plan, and he may not listen to either of us. This may have been…whatever he's done, the end result might be far beyond us both to interfere with at this point."

"You're giving up, just like that? It's not like you."

Fu Xuanming rested her hand on the doorframe to the Wintry Room. "I'm not giving up. I'm just warning you…I may have to choose a side in this conflict, whether it is right or wrong to kill Jin Guangyao — whether I must kill my own disciple to stop him from becoming something even worse. No matter what happens, you're going to get hurt. And right now…I really don't want to be part of any of that."

"Then help me ensure that none of it happens. Help me find another way," Lan Xichen pressed. "You've never been one to walk the path that's been forced before you. The Jiang Clan of Yunmeng taught you to achieve the impossible."

"The last time we tried to achieve the impossible, it ended in the Siege of the Burial Mounds," she pointed out. "My methods of avoiding the paths forced before me, the way to choose my own, has always been to abandon everything else and run."

He almost seemed to laugh to himself, under his breath. "You've decided not to run?"

"I have. And I'll be honest, I don't know what I'm doing. If I could grab you and run, I would. But you wouldn't like that. You want to confront this issue, and that means you have to take the lead. You want to trust and redeem Jin Guangyao, and I'll follow your lead if I can. But if I can't…my corpse told you that you have to strike true, no matter who it is and what they've done. She could have meant him, she could have meant me — and by extension, Xianle. Or Xianle, and by extension me. I assume that when and if he perishes, I'll be returned to my corpse, but either way…"

Lan Xichen's hand slid into hers and jerked him back with that unassuming strength of his. Fu Xuanming found herself wrapped in his arms, and having her own arms slot neatly around him in turn. She had to admit, it was very comfortable. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd felt so comforted by a simple embrace.

"It won't come to that. You don't have to worry so much about me, okay? Let me worry about you."

"You're really ready to face what may come?"

"I'm ready to save you all. Trust in me, as I trust in you."

Fu Xuanming didn't know if she trusted anyone anymore, but then that was nothing new. These days, though, it felt like everyone had ended up stronger than her. Wei Wuxian had made the most of a single death, and Nie Xianle had brought her back to live the newest kind of life. At this point, maybe anything was possible.

"Okay. I'll trust you. More than I trust myself, anyway."

Lan Xichen laughed again, and the rumble of his chest seemed to pass it on to Fu Xuanming. "I'll accept that."