The holotape Piper gave her had intrigued Nora. It was an appeal to see synths as slaves, and encouraged people to join up with the Railroad, albeit with some enigmatic "Don't call us, we'll call you" bullshit. When she'd asked Piper why she hadn't mentioned the Railroad before, Piper had just shrugged and said that Nora never asked about it. She definitely had to have another conversation with Piper about need-to-know information like the one she'd had with her about the various beasties within the Commonwealth. Piper had gone on to tell her that it was an open secret that the way to join the Railroad was to follow the Freedom Trail.
Joy. Another field trip to Boston Common.
Before they left, they looked at Strong, who had finished the synth crow meat and was licking his fingers. "Should we take him?" Nora asked.
Piper shook her head. "Imagine asking him to sneak around. 'STRONG BEING VERY QUIET!'" she mimicked. "'STRONG YELLING VERY QUIETLY!'"
Nora laughed. "'STRONG HAVE PERFECT DISGUISE! STRONG WEAR FAKE MOUSTACHE!" They both had a hearty chuckle.
"Strong not sound like that," he grumbled. He did quietly consider the merits of a false moustache for disguisework, though.
Nora fell into his lap and gave him a lingering kiss. "Tell you what, honey — you stay here for now and help Nat with selling newspapers, okay?"
"Oh, great idea," Piper griped. "I can see it now. 'BUY NEWSPAPER, PUNY HUMAN, OR STRONG EAT YOUR GUTS!'"
"That sound more like Strong," Strong admitted. "Me help little girl sell paper. Crush all who refuse."
"Whoa, that wasn't supposed to be a suggestion!" Piper said, heated. "People can refuse to buy my paper! For the love of God, don't crush anybody!" She paused a moment. "Unless they try to hurt Nat, then rip off their fucking arms and use those to beat them to death." Strong gave her a savage grin, and Piper again wondered at how quickly she'd come to trust a super mutant with her sister's life.
They made it to Boston Common easily enough, being careful to not make any sound as they approached the beginning of the Freedom Trail. An old protectron was ambling around in the area, which Nora vaguely remembered from high school as being the tour bot. Amazing nobody'd scrapped the annoying thing in two centuries. There was a fountain at the beginning of the Freedom Trail, and leaning against it was a sign: "At journey's end, follow freedom's lantern." The trail itself had a marker at the start of it — a big circular thing, a little smaller than a manhole, with "The Freedom Trail — Boston" stamped on it. Somebody had painted a 7 on it, with a line pointing to the letter A.
"Did you ever play Wheel of Fortune, Piper?" Nora asked, scrutinizing the clue.
"What's that?" Piper asked, shaking her head.
"Old game show. Would have been something like 300 years old by now, if the Great War hadn't permanently canceled them. But the basic premise is you're given a series of blanks, representing letters, and you're supposed to take turns with the other contestants guessing what each letter might be, until one of them tries to figure out what the word or phrase is."
"Oh, kind of like those old crossword puzzle things," Piper said. "I've seen those in old issues of the Boston Bugle. They seemed fun."
Nora smiled. "That's kind of it! Anyway, I used to be pretty damn good at that show." She stood up from where she'd been squatting and started walking — away from the Freedom Trail.
"Uh, aren't we supposed to actually follow the trail?" Piper suggested.
"I followed that trail 220-odd years ago, when we came downtown for a high school history class field trip. Its terminus is the Old North Church. You're a history buff, Piper — what's that place known for?"
Piper rubbed her chin, thinking. "Oh, the old American Revolution thing. 'One if by land, two if by sea', right?"
Nora pointed a 'You're right!' finger at Piper. "You would have been more of a Jeopardy gal, I think," Nora said. "Though my grandparents swore up and down the show was barely worth watching after the original host died."
Nora began walking again, and Piper followed this time. "What was Jeopardy about?"
"They'd give you five or six categories — different each time, and sometimes from some fairly eclectic branch of knowledge, and give the clue as an answer. Contestants were expected to give the solution in the form of a question…"
XXX
"So then she says…" Nora began laughing, unable to help herself at the hilarity of the punchline. "Then she says… 'Pissing all by yourself, handsome?'" She positively roared with laughter upon actually saying the line.
"…I don't get it," Piper said, giving Nora the 'questioning your sanity' look (which probably should have burned itself onto her face by now). "Unless the girl was you, in which case it all makes perfect sense."
"No, it wasn't me!" Nora snapped. "Jeez, fuck one abomination in the eyes of both God and man, and everyone thinks you're a freak!"
Piper was about to point out Nora's numerous other deity-defying acts when she noticed where they were. "Hey, we're here," Piper realized. In fact, they'd almost walked past it.
"You know, if we'd followed the trail, we could have gone through good ol' Flatulence Hall and checked out that grasshopper thing for Nick," Nora mused. "Especially since we've discovered super mutants ain't shit." She spotted the last trail marker in front of the church. "One R," she said aloud. "Too fucking easy. Idiots!"
"Who's an idiot?" Piper asked. Nora didn't respond.
They walked into the church. The telltale sound of feral ghouls rousing at having detected their presence echoed through the building, so Nora unslung her trusty shotgun. "The Railroad!" she said, blowing one ghoul in half. "I'm not gonna say why, since I'll probably be able to show you in a few minutes." Another ghoul's head exploded. "It's gonna be really funny, though."
"If you say so," Piper said, knowing that Nora's jokes were hit or miss. She and Nora cleared out the rest of the ghouls, then helped Nora feel around for anything of value on the bodies (which Piper was doing more and more — she'd had no idea how much of a chore watching one woman rob from the dead could be until she'd met Nora. At least this way was much less time consuming).
"There," Nora said. One of the half-collapsed balconies had an image of a lantern painted on it, the passageway beneath almost lost in the darkness. Nora made sure her shotgun was loaded, then turned on her Pip Boy's light. "Stay close," she said unnecessarily. (Like Piper was gonna go fuck off in a darkened catacomb that could be swarming with feral ghouls).
After following the twists and turns of the fairly linear passageway (and taking down a few more ferals in the process), they reached a seeming dead end, except for the obvious hidden passage mechanism. It was another one of the Freedom Trail markers, this one connected to a wire that buried itself into the wall. After a quick inspection, Nora found that this marker had been modified — the part that read "The Freedom Trail - Boston" could be rotated around the central part of the marker, which could be pressed inward. An arrow on the central part pointed straight up.
Nora grinned and turned to Piper. "Mr. Sajak Jr., I'd like to solve," she said dramatically, before spinning out the letters. "R…A…I…L…" she began. Piper watched, incredulous, as Nora spelled out the password, which happened to be the organization's name. "…D", Nora said, pressing the center in. The wall made a loud clunk, before pulling back and sliding in.
"…Son of a bitch," Piper grumbled. She couldn't help letting out a chuckle. "Okay, that is pretty funny," she admitted.
"Wait'll I tell you the one about what our nuclear launch codes were back in the 1960s," she said offhandedly, walking into the newly opened passage.
"What do you —" Piper was again cut off as a floodlight illuminated the passage.
"Stop right there." The speaker was an older woman — middle aged, Nora guessed — flanked by a gal with a minigun and an unarmed person.
Nora immediately recognized the voice as the one on the holotape. "Oh hey, the voice on the holotape!" Nora said. "Maybe you could autograph my copy?"
The woman narrowed her eyes. "You went to a lot of effort to arrange this meeting, so don't waste my time. Before we go further, you'll have to answer my questions. Who the hell are you?"
Nora bowed. "Nora Jones, professional popsicle at your service. I heard you guys are all about freedom and lodging a boot up the Institute's ass, so I figured I'd throw my lot in with you folks."
"If that's true, you have nothing to fear," the woman said. "Who told you how to contact us?"
"Piper here," Nora said, pointing to Piper. "She's kind of a big deal in the journalism world. I honestly can't say I've heard of any better journalist in the past two hundred years."
"Oh stop," Piper said. It was a dumb joke, but she still blushed at the compliment.
"Interesting…last question." Some clown in sunglasses and an ugly hairdo had walked up behind her. "Why are you here?" she asked.
"Um, do you have short-term memory loss? I'm here to find the Institute, murder them, smash their skulls open, eat their brains, and then use their skulls as goblets to drink wine from."
"She's not kidding," Piper said. "I have seen her consume human flesh, and she does collect bones."
"Piper, maybe ix-nay on the annibalism-cay?" Nora muttered. "At least until I've won them over with my winning personality and they can't reject me for a minor personality flaw like that."
The interrogator looked a little alarmed at the talk of cannibalism, but before she had a chance to go on, the new guy spoke up. "I didn't know we were having a party," he said. "What gives with my invitation?"
"I put it in the mail, but I forgot to STAMP it!" Nora said. "Please stomp on your own foot to experience the full effect of that joke."
To her and Piper's amazement, he did so, and then heartily laughed. "Oh God in Heaven, there's two of them," Piper whimpered.
"I need intel," the interrogator said. "Who is this?"
"Newsflash, boss: This lady is kind of a big deal out there," Ugly Hairdo said.
"About time someone noticed," Nora said matter of factly.
"You know, you're practically famous," Hairdo said. (Nobody who recognized Nora's greatness deserved to be referred to as ugly). "She's the leader of the Minutemen, and she saved Nick Valentine by smooth talking her way past Skinny Malone."
"God bless Skinny Malone and his mafia honor code," Nora said, sentimental.
"So, you're vouching for… her?" the interrogator said, dubious.
"Yes," Hairdo said. "Trust me, she's someone we want on our side."
"That changes things," the interrogator said, her tone a little warmer. "So, Nora, why did you want to meet with us anyway?"
"My son was kidnapped by the Institute," Nora said. "I'm looking for help to find him."
The woman shook her head. "That's terrible. We'll do what we can, but if the Institute already has him, it won't amount to much." She looked over to Harido. "I'll have Deacon look into this. If anyone can find a lead on your boy, he can." She paused, then gave Nora a focused look. "You do know what a synth is, right?"
"Yeah, those robot dudes who look like humans." She leaned in and, in a stage whisper, said: "I think Nick Valentine may be a synth."
The woman looked at Nora, dumbfounded. "God, there's two of them," she muttered. She composed herself. "We seek to free the synths from their bondage. Give them a chance at a real life." She approached Nora and put her hands on her shoulders. "I have a question… the only question that matters. Would you risk your life for your fellow man? Even if that man is a synth?"
"Hell yes," Nora said without hesitation. "I'd risk my life for my robot butler Codsworth, and he's just a Mr. Handy…" Nora grimaced. "…who I just realized I technically own. But I do pay him! He kept saying he didn't need to get paid, due to the whole ownership thing, but I insisted and we finally compromised on, like, a hundred dollars a month. Which is a piss-poor amount of money, for back then…" She realized she was rambling and tried to focus on the topic at hand. "Oh yeah, and there's the Miss Nanny in Diamond City, I don't remember her name but she works at the school and she married that teacher dude after asking me about love and stuff. She's badass, I'd die for her." She tapped her chin with her knuckles. "Oh yeah, and one time I had this really intensely erotic dream about a protectron named Fisto."
Piper sighed. "Blue, is there anything you wouldn't fuck?"
"Children, animals, the mentally impaired, the dead, relatives." She quickly tallied off all five on her fingers. "I think that covers my no-nos."
"…Well said," the Railroad woman finally said, not wanting the insane conversation to carry on any further. She tried valiantly once more to take control of the meeting. "We'll do what we can to look into your missing boy. What the Institute has done to your family, and others, is what drives us. Normally, you're exactly the type of person we try and recruit."
"Robot fuckers?" Piper asked.
The mysterious woman ignored her. "But right now, we don't have time to train up a new agent. There are, however, more valuable ways you can contribute."
"Does it involve fucking a robot?" Nora asked, a hopeful expression on her face.
"THERE IS NO —" She cleared her throat and composed herself again. "…In turn, we can help you. See Deacon for details. You're free to go." The woman retreated back into the Railroad's secret base as fast as she could while looking dignified.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Pissing all by yourself, handsome?" is an amusing New Vegas meme, haha.
In the 1960s, the code to launch our ICBMs was 00000000. People give the Railroad a lot of shit for their password, but at least the Railroad is A. Fictional, and B. Not responsible for weapons that can immolate half a continent.
Fisto is a very friendly protectron who shows up in New Vegas.