Chapter 26/ Apology
My conscience is killing me while waiting for Philip to come back home.
One night, one last fling. I would never be with Shane again. That was our last night. I already knew that when I went to his house. I was telling him goodbye. But I didn't know the shame I would feel afterwards. Or how much love was still there between Shane and I.
Being in Shane's arms was wrong. Cheating is unforgiveable, but I couldn't deny that I liked being with him. I didnt like that I liked it.But I did. Shane apologized for the vulgar comments he made about taking my virginity in high school and offered to give up his job at the police station. Which I knew Shane would never do. Still I wasn't mentally prepared for that. I was so close to staying with Shane, but I couldn't give up my luxurious lifestyle. I know it sounds horrible, but in my current situation, I didn't have many options, and Philip provides love and security.
I made up my mind that I was going to marry Philip if he would still have me. Philip is not only a doctor but also a billionaire. I would always love Shane. But he proved that he wasn't mature by sleeping with Rick's wife. I really didn't want to be involved in a messy situation.
Philip was supposed to be home tomorrow but I couldn't wait that long to tell him the truth. The guilt is making my stomach sick, so I pick up my cell phone and call him.
"Hey Andrea, is everything okay?" he asks, as if he sensed something is wrong.
"I need to talk to you and I don't think this is a conversation we should have over the phone," I said softly.
'You aren't breaking up with me? Are you?" Philip asked suddenly, very concerned.
"No, but I want to come see you," I said.
"I can send the plane for you in about hour. Can you be ready that soon?" He responds.
"Yes. I am just going to shower and pack a few things," I knowing I needed a shower.
Stepping into the shower, I cover myself with cherry scent soap from Bath and Body works. I needed to wash the smell of sex off me. The Shanes smell. I wash everything, then put on Channel Perform,and lotion. There isnt enough hot water in the world to make you less of a slut, I think to myself.
I put hair products in my hair letting the curls air dry, next I apply foundation,blush, lipgliss, mascara, and then look in my closet. I decide on a white and striped shirt from tge Gap, skinny jeans, and converse shoes. I didnt look the best but i looked decent, I decided.
Paige walks into the room, obsiously doing her maid duties.
"Your suitcase is packed Ms. Harrison," she informs me.
"Thank you. Please call me,Andrea," I said trying to smile. Martinez comes into the room ready to drive me to the airport. I board the plane, and try to relax . I watch the movie Sweet Home Alabama,and try to not cry. if only real life could be simple like movies, I think.
A few hours later, I arrived at the Plaza hotel. Philip is waiting in the lobby, wearing jeans and a black shirt. I wrapped my arms around him and his heart beat against mine. In that moment I knew I couldbt leave him.
"I was coming home tomorrow Andrea. You couldnt wait," he says, looking into my eyes.
"I really missed you. I love you," I said, tears running down my face.
"Shh, it's all right. I'm here," he says, pulling me into his arms. I feel so safe in his arms. He leads me into the hotel room, and I try to stop crying. He takes off my shoes and I set on the bed.
"I don't know how to say this. I slept with someone else," I said, looking down. I couldnt even make eye contact.
"How many times?" he said, clearing his throat.
"Just once," I said, not really sure because of the alcohol.
"Was it the cop who grabbed your arm at the party?" he asked, looking into my eyes.
"Yes, I told him over and over, 'No'. But Shane kept showing up at random places. He was so persistent. We used to date in high school. The tattoo I had removed was actually his football jersey number. I guess I wanted closure. If I could take it back, I would." I said, crying more.
He looks at me completely unreadable. Then he wraps his arms around me.
"I love you, Andrea. Do you love me?" he says finally.
"Yes, I love you.I promise," I said reassuring him.
He sets on the bed quiet for about twenty minutes.
"You made a mistake. That's all. We'll forget it happened. I don't want to hear any details. I need to pretend it never happened because I love you. And losing you isn't an option. You want to stay with me, right?" He says, running his fingers through her blonde hair.
"Yes, that's why I came to New York. I want to be your girlfriend more than anything," I said softly.
"You are about to be my wife," he said sweetly.
"Can we order in and stay in bed? I want you to hold me for hours." I said, relieved that he didn't want to break up.
"Yes, we can order food, but I want to do more than just hold you. I want to make love to you." He pulled me closer to him.
"I am going to need a power nap first," I said, placing my head in his lap. I don't really feel like having sex tonight but I know saying no would hurt his feelings.
"Go ahead. I'll wake you up when the food gets here," he says, turning on the TV.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"I think we should move the wedding up to May. I am so ready for you to be my wife," he says as I close my eyes to go to sleep.
"Yes, there's no reason to wait," I said, closing my eyes. Being there in arms, I feel so comfortable and surprised how easily I am forgiven.