Miko and Bulkhead were watching the Monster Truck Rally on TV. "Munched!" Miko said. "Give it up for the baddest beast machines on the planet!" The cameraman cheered. "Would you mind lowering the volume?" Ratchet asked. "Yeah. Please?" Elsa asked next to him.
"Hey, Ratch, check out the Monster Truck Rally Miko took me to last week." Bulkhead said. "I compiled some highlights with my cellphone." Miko said. "Innocent vehicles battling for the pleasure of human spectators? Bloodsport!" Ratchet shuddered. "Yeah!" Miko and Bulkhead said in unison.
"You could be helping Optimus in the field right now." Ratchet said. "Oh, he doesn't need my help to search for some ancient educational thingamabob." Bulkhead said.
"The 'thingamabob' to which you refer happens to be a Cybertronian data cylinder." Ratchet said. He pressed a button, and the Rally on the TV was replaced with the cylinder. "Hey!" Miko and Bulkhead said together.
"And there is no telling what vast intelligence it may hold. During the Golden Age, dozens of these cylinders were created. Wach containing the sum total of Cybertronian knowledge on any given subject. Stellar cartography, medicine, ancient mythology. When the war broke out, the cylinders were hidden throughout the galaxies to keep them as far as possible from Decepticon reach. Detecting one signal here on Earth is the opposition of -" Miko cut in with a groan. "Ah! T.M.I. dude!" She huffed. "Switch it back. I wanna hoedown showdown!" Bulkhead agreed.
"That was rude." Elsa stated. "Tell me about it." Ratchet said. Then the monitor beeped. "Ratchet, Decepticon ambush! The cylinder is at risk! We require backup!" He said urgently.
"Backup is what I'm built for." Bulkhead said. "Go bend some fenders, Bulk!" Miko cheered. Ratchet activated the Ground-Bridge."I have an important mission for you too, Miko." Ratchet said. "Really?" Miko said, hopeful. Ratchet gave her a mop. She groaned but took it.
However, when Ratchet and Elsa were not looking, Miko dropped the mop and ran through the Ground-Bridge. When she emerged, metal debris almost hit her. Optimus, Bee, Bulkhead, Arcee, Jetfire, Chromia, and Cyclonus were battling Knockout, Breakdown, and dozens of Vehicons.
The new 'Bots had grown to like Earth.
Cyclonus used his energy gun and shot a Vehicon through its Spark-Chamber. The dead Vehicon was about to land right on top of Miko. She ran away, and the falling Vehicon caused a shock wave, knocking her off her feet. She got up and hid behind a rock. She stared in awe at the sight of the Autobots beating up the Decepticons.
"Autobots, stand your ground. The artifact must not fall into enemy hands!" Optimus ordered after picking Knockout up and punching him away.
Miko saw the data cylinder was close to her. "I got it!" Chromia shouted, only to get rammed by Knockout, who transformed into his automobile mode and back to normal. "Come to Papa!" He ran for the cylinder, only to get bashed by Bulkhead. "Run to Mommy!" Bulkhead was suddenly attacked from behind and held in the air from the helm by Breakdown. "Say, Uncle! SAY IT!"
Miko ran for the cylinder and opened her phone. "Ratchet, come in!"
"Miko? This is an emergency channel. We need to keep it open for the Autob- wait. Where are you?" Ratchet asked. "D'oy! I'm with the thingamabob." Miko said. "Thingama? The data cylinder?" Ratchet asked. "She did it again, didn't she?" Elsa asked. "It appears so." Ratchet sighed.
"Can you bridge it out of here?" Miko asked. "I'll reactivate arrival coordinates." Ratchet said. Mikonheard a Ground-Bridge appears. Unfortunately, it was too far away. "Dude, can't you open it any closer?" She asked. "Supply coordinates." Ratchet said. "Um. 50 yards?" Miko guessed. "Precise coordinates!" Ratchet said.
Miko ducked down when a laser gun almost hit her. She knew what she was gonna have to do. She out her phone away and pushed the data cylinder with all her might. But, it wouldn't move. She ran back a few paces. "Okay. 1, 2, 3!" She ran forward and kicked the cylinder with the heel of her foot and fell on her back. The cylinder made weird noises, and the top glowed red.
Optimus heard warbling and saw the cylinder glow. "Miko?" Bulkhead asked.
The cylinder started shaking and glowing brighter like it might explode.
"No!" Bulkhead shouted and ran to protect his friend. Breakdown shoved him from behind, and sent him flying in front of the cylinder. A red beam of energy shot into Bulkhead's helm. "Bulk!" Miko gasped. "You really took one for the team, Bulkhead. My team!" Knockout said and grabbed the cylinder. He and Breakdown retreated into a Ground-Bridge while the Vehicons took flight.
"Bulkhead, are you -" Optimus asked but was cut off by Bulkhead. "Fine. Didn't even smart." He said.
In Autobot base, Ratchet was examining Bulkhead. "I helped lose that thing, I wanna help find it! I need to get back in the field with Optimus!" Bulkhead said. "No! You're under my watch now. Optimus' orders. And running a full scan of your neural network would be a wiser use of your time." Ratchet halted him.
"Come on, doc, there's nothing up there to scan." Bulkhead stood up. "He seems fine to me." Miko chimed in. "Well, if you insist on making yourself useful you can help Miko tidy up." Ratchet presented the dumb old mop. "I have to run more scans on Elsa. Find out how her magic suddenly came back fully."
"He's mad with power!" Miko complained. "That's Ratchet. No vector squared alright." Bulkhead said. "What?" Miko questioned. "Hey, we got any paint around here?" Bulkhead asked. "Art project? Cool!" Miko said.
On the Nemesis, Megatron was unhappy. "What do you mean it's empty?" He asked with a growl. "Lord Megatron, these cylinders are not unlike batteries. The data is stored within them as a form of energy. It's scanned as fully charged. That's how we located it to begin with, but now?" Knockout explained, and opened the cylinder and was met with smoke. "Dead battery." Breakdown added.
"Did you drop it, you one-eyed oaf?" Megatron asked. "No, Master. I wasn't gonna touch the thing after it put the zap on Bulkhead." Breakdown said. "Hey, you think..." Knockout started. "I know. And I must find out what that vessel contained. When it comes to the secrets of the ancients, knowledge can be power." Megatron finished.
"Elsa, the only possible explanation for your powers return, the fear of when you saw Megatron in the mine could have acted like a battery to recharge them and the energy from the Ground-Bridge during your trip from your dimension wore off." Ratchet said. "Seriously, Ratch, you need to see what Bulk's painting in here." Miko interrupted him. "Bulky can paint?" Elsa asked.
"Yes, I'm sure one hasn't truly lived until one has beheld Bulkhead's take on still life with lug nuts." Ratchet remarked. Elsa followed.
"See? Did I tell you or what?" Miko asked. Ratchet and Elsa saw Bulkhead mumbling weird words and writing strange symbols on the wall with the mop covered in paint. "The differential of one-third R cubed is RDRR." He said to himself. "That is not art. It's science!" Ratchet said in shock.
With the other Autobots in base, Ratchet showed a display of Bulkhead's CPU, which had a red spot in the center. "This hotspot you see here, it's information. Data. Living energy." Ratchet explained. "Hold on, It's alive? It's on fire? And it's in Bulkhead's brain?" Miko asked. "Is it something to worry about?" Jetfire asked. "Chill, guys. The data is only inhabiting a fraction of my brain. Infinitesimal by standard neural net densities." Bulkhead reassured before he opened his optics in surprise. "Wait, how do I know all that?" He asked.
"Based on what we witnessed during our skirmish, the living data must have been programmed to eject when it sensed unauthorized access." Optimus said. "A security protocol for protection." Chromia assumed. "Indeed." Ratchet said.
"It would have jettisoned heavenward. Lost to the stars." Optimus said. "Except my fat engine block got in the way." Bulkhead interjected. "Everyone there made a grab for the cylinder, but it doesn't off until she touches it?" Cyclonus asked. "The cylinders originated from Cybertron's Golden Age, pre-dating the Autobot Decepticon division." Ratchet said.
"So, it wouldn't consider any native of Cybertron to he a threat." Optimus said. "Only alien lifeforms. Such as humans." Said Ratchet. Miko looked down. Bee buzzed at the symbols. "Are we staring at genius or gibberish?" Arcee asked.
"I do not wish to falsely rally anyone's hopes, but these equations appear to be the formula for a Synthetic Energon." Ratchet revealed. Bee buzzed happily. "We hit the mother load?" Chromia asked. "Miko, do you understand what this means?" Bulkhead asked. "Umm." Miko muttered. "Energon provides our fuel, our ammo, our lifeforce, with the natural stuff in short supply here on Earth. This could solve a whole lot of problems!" Bulkhead explained excitedly.
"Such as providing providing us with the edge we need to turn the tide of this war." Optimus said. "Or handing us the key to revitalizing Cybertron!" Cyclonus added. "We got the goods, and alm Megatron got was an empty bucket." Said Arcee. "How often do I get to use my noggin to save the day?" Bulkhead asked.
Later, Bulkhead went back to writing more formulas for the Synthetic Energon. "Intersection of atomic coordinates indicate convergent tertiary structures..." He mumbled. "Aren't you done yet?" Miko asked, bored. "...reversible, resulting in an ace..." Bulkhead ignored.
"I have to admit, Cy, it's strange seeing Bulkhead become a brainiac." Chromia said. "What is all this mumbo jumbo?" Jetfire asked as he turned a corner and saw Bulkhead's writing. "Did you even hear what Ratchet said, you old coot?" Cyclonus asked. "You even asked if the data was a bad thing." Chromia added. "For Primus' sake, Firestar, I'm 68 billion years old, and I need my nap time!" Jetfire snapped and walked away.
"It's 'Chromia', you crazy old man!" Cyclonus shouted. "What's wrong with Jetfire?" Elsa asked, having heard the commotion. "He hasn't been the same since the others saved us from Stasis." Cyclonus said.
"Vector L one norm squared." Bulkhead mumbled. Cyclonus grabbed and moved the metal board to Ratchet. "Break time! How about a lightning round of TNT Street Racer 7?" Miko suggested. "Energon temperatures and volume proportions..." Bulkhead continued and wrote on the next board. Miko groaned.
"Got another round for you to log, Ratchet." Chromia said and helped her Spark-Mate move the board to the medic. "This is Bulkhead's neural net as you saw earlier. This scan was recorded just minutes ago." Ratchet said. The red dot was growing bigger on the screen. "It is as I feared. The data seems to be actively and aggressively rewriting Bulkhead's neural net. I had hoped he was purging the data, but he seems to be merely transcribing it as it..."
"...consumes his mind." Optimus finished. "From all indications, by the time Bulkhead completes the formula his own thoughts, his memories could be wiped clean." Ratchet said dreadfully. "But, if we stop him, goodbye Synthetic Energon." Chromia said. "You assume we possess a means of stopping him. I don't exactly have instant access to the wisdom of the ancients." Ratchet said. "So, he could be lost to us forever?" Elsa asked from below.
"I will not allow another one of our own to be sacrificed. No matter the cost." Optimus said. "If the living data transmissions itself from the cylinder, perhaps we could somehow coax it back inside." Ratchet said.
"How are we going to get it back from the Decepticons?" Cyclonus asked. "The Decepticons must be stopped! No matter what!" Jetfire mumbled in his sleep. "Megatron will bring it to us." Optimus said.
Bulkhead continued mumbling and drew more symbols. Miko brought her guitar, hoping that it would snap Bulkhead out of his growing madness. "Friction coefficient quotient of the subset amplified..."
"You want amplified?" Miko asked as she hooked up the guitar to her sound system. "Proving Perceptor's Paradox is nothing of the kind..."
Miko brought her pick down, and the music boomed, making Bulkhead drop the mop and grip his helm like he was about to have a Cyber-Stroke. "What is that?!" He shouted. "Metal! You love this song!" Miko said. "I'm trying to concentrate." Bulkhead said. "Grr. You're starting to sound just like Ratchet!" Miko groaned. "Who?" Bulkhead questioned.
Miko stared wide-eyed in shock and sadness. "Ratch, I think Bulk's losing his mind!" She said after running to the medic. He stared at her with sadness. "You already knew." She realized. "Miko, we didn't want to frighten you. But, rest assured, Optimus has a plan." Ratchet said.
"Optimus isn't Bulkhead's doctor. I just need to know. When Bulk's done spitting out that formula, he'll go back to being regular old Bulkhead, right?" Miko begged.
On the Nemesis, Knockout and Breakdown approached their lord. "Lord Megatron, we've detected a familiar energy profile." The self-proclaimed automobile enthusiast said. "The data." Megatron realized. "Bulkhead must have left the shielded radius of their base. Breakdown and I will -" Knockout started. "Fail me again?" Megatron asked.
The warlord and a big group of Vehicons took flight from the Nemesis and to the location Knockout showed. He and his army transformed. "Optimus, you're certainly not the Autobot I expected to find here. But, let me guess: You rigged a transponder to mimic the frequency of the data I seek." He said. He saw Chromia. "Ah, Chromia. It's been a while. How's that Decepticon of yours?" Chromia stayed silent.
"Megatron, I have a proposal." Optimus said. He was backed by Bumblebee, Arcee, Cyclonus, and Chromia. Jetfire was still in base resting.
The Vehicons pointed their triangle shaped cannons at them, but Megatron raised a servo, halting them. "I'm listening." He said. "Surrender the cylinder, and I will return it to you fully restored." Optimus offered. "This trinket right here? And, pray tell what trifles did it hold that you were so anxious to give away?" Megatron asked.
"Accept my term, and you will find out." Optimus said. Megatron growled.
"Do you remember the time you watched Wheeljack lob his only grenade into the Decepticon heat exchanger?" Miko asked. "Who?" Bulkhead questioned. "Wheeljack! Your best bud! Besides me, of course." Miko said and held a picture of Bulkhead and Wheeljack to him from her phone. He went right back to work.
"Do you know who Elsa is?" Miko asked. "No idea." Bulkhead stated. "Me?" Miko asked with a hint of growing sadness. "Of course! You're..." Bulkhead trailed off. Miko's smile disappeared. "Equivalent to the flattening of the oblet spheroid to the nth power. Internal energy of isolated E remains constant..." Ratchet took the board. "Keep them coming, Bulkhead." He said.
Bulkhead continued writing. Miko got an idea. She typed something into the keyboard, the lever pulled down, and the Ground-Bridge activated.
"Miko, what are you doing?" Elsa asked from across the area, watching a show called SpongeBob. "Elsa, come on! I know how to help Bulkhead." Miko said and swiped the mop from Bulkhead's servo. Elsa ran down the stairs to join Miko at the Ground-Bridge.
"Come on. You want to finish your formula, don't you?" She asked.
"Do you accept my proposal?" Optimus asked. "Lord Megatron." Knockout said over the comms. "Give me a moment." Megatron walked to the back of the group to talk to the flashy automobile enthusiast.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Knockout asked. "It's complicated." Megatron responded. "Well, Breakdown, and I may have located the bogey. Fully charged." Knockout reported. "Proceed." Megatron ordered. "Just one hitch: We don't have the cylinder." Knockout said. "Then bring me the head of Bulkhead!" Megatron ordered.
Bulkhead, Elsa, and Miko were inside the Monster Truck Rally. "Look, you love monster trucks! Remembee when we snuck in here after the show last week?" Miko said. "You what?" Elsa asked. "Nothing." Miko said.
"Mass times diffusion rate is constant..." Bulkhead mumbled and wrote on the wall, vandalizing the place. "Is any of this ringing a bell?" Miko asked. "Bell curve? No, no, no, thay wouldn't factor in." Bulkhead said. "Miko, I don't think it will work anymore." Elsa said solemnly.
"How 'bout our Sunday morning dune bashings? Rocking out to Slash Monkey? Helping me with my homework? Trick question. You know I don't do homework. Don't you?" Miko asked, ignoring what Elsa said. "Okay, forget the past. Starting now, we can make new memories." Miko said hopefully.
"The cube root of the exothermic Energon energy on yield delta E violates Clank's Law of Energon Conservation." Bulkhead muttered. "Bulky?" Elsa asked. "Bulkhead, somewhere inside, you always remember me. And I just want you to know, I'll never forget you." Miko said sadly.
"Boo hoo! I'm shedding lubricant!" They heard a familiar voice insult Miko. It was Knockout and Breakdown. "Follow me right now, or these guys are gonna... steal the formula!" She shouted at Bulkhead, finally getting his attention. "My equations?" He asked.
"Come on, come on!" Miko ordered. "I hope this works." Elsa said, and utilized her magic to hit Knockout in the chassis, and create an ice barrior, buying them time to escape. "Did you see that?" Breakdown asked. "Ugh! I saw! Megatron told me about her, and wanted that power! More importantly, she iced my finish! She better prepare for surgery!" Knockout shouted.
Breakdown smashed his sledge hammer against the ice wall, while Knockout turned his servo into a blowtorch to melt the ice from his chassis. Breakdown soon smashed through the barrier. "Lord Megatron, we're good, and as a bonus, we found the snow child." Knockout said.
"Optimus, upon careful consideration, if you want the cylinder, you'll have to take it!" Megatron said. The Autobots and Decepticons shot at each other.
Knockout and Breakdown entered a parking lot. "Okay then. Fun and games." Knockout said. He and Breakdown split and searched both parts of the parking lot. "Come out, come out wherever you are." Knockout sang.
Nearby, in Jeep mode, Bulkhead, Elsa and Miko were trying to contact the Autobots, but Miko was met with static. "What's wrong?" Elsa asked. "The 'Cons are scrambling the signal." She replied. "If the tri-sector of the polygon is an integral subset..." Bulkhead started.
"Shh! Quiet! And whatever you do, keep still. I'm gonna see if I can get far enough to call for backup. Elsa, make sure he behaves!" Miko ran off to escape the signal jammer.
Miko hid when she heard loud footsteps. Knockout leaned down and checked the underbelly of two monster trucks. He scoffed and moved on. Miko jumped down from the bottom part of a truck and continued running.
Breakdown was smashing truck engines. "Bulkhead, is that you?" He asked and tapped the windshield of one, smashing it in the process.
He turned and saw Miko running. The Japanese girl ran off. Breakdown picked up the truck she ran under and threw it away. "Breakdown, forget her. Game's are only fun to play when you're winning." Knockout said, and activated a tracker. Elsa's fear was causing her magic to cover the ground in ice.
Knockout tracked the growing cold temperature. "I think I'm warm. Or should I say 'cold'." Knockout said when the beeping increased. Bulkhead transformed, revealing Elsa. "E and 3 divided by the square root of the propulsion factor equals..." Bulkhead mumbled and painted on the nearest place. Which was Knockout's chassis. "You painted my paint job! PREPARE FOR SURGERY!" Knockout sneered dangerously.
Breakdown ran at Bulkhead and punched him down. "Come here, little girl." Knockout said and reached for Elsa. "Get away!" Elsa shouted, and used her magic to freeze Knockout's servo. "Breakdown, get her!" Knockout ordered. He approached Bulkhead, and broke the ice from his servo, and transformed it into a saw. "Heads. You lose!" He lowered the saw towards Bulkhead's neck.
"NOOOO!" Miko shrieked from nearby.
In the desert, the Autobots finished off the Vehicon. "Well, in that case no one gets it!" Megatron said and crushed the cylinder. He transformed and flew away.
"Optimus, Bulkhead, Miko, and Elsa have abandoned base! I have their Ground-Bridge coordinates." Ratchet said. "Bridge us back immediately!" Optimus ordered.
As Breakdown chased Elsa, dodging ice along the way, Miko grabbed a pipe and tried to hit Knockout, only to lose balance and hit Bulkhead. The Wrecker's optics turned red loke a Decepticon, and twin red lights erupted from him, and were launched into the void. Never to be seen again.
"I did it again?" Miko gasped. Soon the light show stopped. "Bulkhead?" Miko choked. Knockout scanned him. "Dead battery. Megatron will peel our paint for losing that data." Knockout said. "Or maybe not." Breakdown said. He held up an unconscious Elsa which he managed to spray her with knockout gas. Courtesy of Knockout.
"But first, let's peel you!" Breakdown snarled. Knockout lowered his saw, then a Ground-Bridge opened behind them. The Autobots came through. "Or peel out of here with our prize." Knockout said. He and Breakdown transformed, and retreated into their own Ground-Bridge with Elsa. "They got Elsa!" Miko shouted.
"We're too late!" Cyclonus yelled. "For Primus' sake, no!" Arcee screamed. Miko bent down next to Bulkhead's helm and started crying, knowing that she got Elsa kidnapped, and possibly got Bulkhead killed.
Knockout and Breakdown approached Lord Megatron on the Nemesis. "Knockout, Breakdown, where is the data?" Megatron questioned. "We failed to retrieve it, my liege." Knockout admitted. "WHAT?!" Megatron screeched.
"But, don't worry, Lord Megatron. We brought the snow girl." Breakdown held up the still unconscious Elsa. Megatron smiled sinisterly. "Then perhaps there won't be any punishment for you after all. Take her to your lab, Knockout. I will be in shortly," He said.