Spruce hadn't actually expected a lot from their first concert of the tour. He had expected something to go wrong, even if it was just in the sense that it didn't go as 'perfectly' as John Dory wanted it to. A few months ago he had been excited for the tour, but these past few days, or even weeks, he'd been dreading the whole thing.
He hadn't thought it would go like this though. They weren't even able to get through their first song. It had been a disaster from the start, and just thinking about it left Spruce feeling angry and slightly ill. He needed to blow off some steam. And he definitely needed to get out of the house, away from his brothers, and just be by himself at least for a bit.
It was a little frightening how desperate he was to be away from all of his brothers. He didn't want to deal with the pressure that his older brother put on him, or the pressure that everybody else put on him to help be responsible for the younger three.
In a fit of frustration he had said that he had quit. He hadn't expected everything to spiral from there. He hadn't ever thought that John Dory would walk away not just from their band, but from their family. He was just gone. And the frustrated and bitter part of him just wanted to throw his arms up and say 'good riddance'.
Clay said he was leaving too, and Spruce was unbelievably tempted to do the same. He had walked out the door and was in the process of trying to figure out where to go from here. He heard Floyd pleading to them, and he couldn't help but look back over his shoulder. The sight that greeted him was enough to stop him in his tracks.
Baby Branch looked heartbroken. Floyd looked defeated and overwhelmed in a way that no nine year old should ever have to deal with. And there was Grandma, sitting in the corner, apparently oblivious that more than half of her grandsons had left with no intention of coming back.
Spruce was still mad, and he didn't think that frustration was going to go away anytime soon, but he was also horrified. This wasn't right. He couldn't let it happen like this. Because no matter how mad he was he still loved his brothers, and that was never going to change, but did his little bros know that? They didn't look like they did.
Spruce had quit on a whim. He had left just as impulsively. He could live with his own decisions, but he felt his chest tighten at the thought of his baby brothers suffering because of them. He couldn't let this happen. Not like this.
He took a shaky breath and turned. He could see Clay storming off. He ran to catch up with him, grabbing his arm to make him stop.
"Get off!" Clay growled. Spruce tightened his grip.
"Hang on." Spruce said. "Go home. Keep an eye on the little bros."
"Dude, no way." Clay glared at him. "I'm not going to let John boss me around anymore, and I'm not going to let you do it either."
"I'm serious." Spruce said. "Just for the night. I'm going after John Dory. I'll talk to him. We'll put together a plan that we'll all be happy with, but I need you back home before Floyd and Baby Branch think we've abandoned them."
Clay still looked frustrated, but Spruce wasn't backing down. They stared at each other for a long moment before Clay groaned.
"If you're not back by tomorrow, and if you don't actually have a plan, I'm out." Clay said, and Spruce thought that was fair enough. He really wasn't trying to manipulate his brother, but he could see why Clay was suspicious and fed-up.
Clay made his way back, and just in time too. Spruce could see Floyd starting to walk out of the pod, his guitar over his shoulder. He looked like he was ready to leave too, and that thought terrified Spruce to his core. It seemed to unnerve Clay too, at least a little bit, because he picked up his pace, running back home and dragging Floyd inside.
Spruce didn't linger. He ran towards where he thought John Dory had gone. He was pretty sure the Neverglade Trail was this way. He swung through the branches and ran as quickly as he could, praying to the muses that he would be able to catch John Dory before he left the tree. He didn't know if he'd be able to find him after that.
He felt an impossible amount of relief when he saw a familiar shade of teal hair. "John Dory!" He called out. He almost tripped over his own feet as he tried to hurry. "Wait! Please."
Thank goodness for all those workouts. Spruce was in much better shape than John Dory was. He was able to catch up to him. He wrapped his arms around his brother, stopping him while also expressing that overwhelming relief. Spruce felt like he could cry. It had been a long day. He was stunned and a little scared when he saw that John Dory was also crying.
"Let me go." John Dory said with a harshness that was clearly just trying to hide the tremor in his voice. Spruce bit his lip and tightened his grip on his brother.
"No." Spruce said. "We can't just leave like this. It's not fair."
"I don't care!" John Dory tried to wriggle away from him, but Spruce's grip was like iron. "You guys made it clear you don't want me there, so I'm doing you a favor and leaving."
"What about Floyd and Branch?" Spruce asked. John Dory finally grew still. "Look, I get it. We're kinda falling apart, and it's just been getting worse for a while now. I know that maybe taking a break from each other for a bit could be just what we need to keep from getting at each other's throats. But they won't understand that. They won't know that this doesn't mean that we don't care. All they'll know is that we're abandoning them."
John Dory sniffled and ducked his head to try to hide his tears. "I don't know how to be good enough for them." Spruce was unnerved hearing this level of discomfort from his older brother. "I tried to be perfect, okay? But I can't do it."
Spruce wanted to shake John Dory, hit him across the face, and then give him a big hug. "Of course you can't. You shouldn't have to." John Dory, and all of the adults around them, seemed to forget that he was still just a kid. He was old enough to take care of himself, but not four little brothers. "So maybe…maybe it's time to find someone who can." Preferably, multiple someones, because Floyd had different needs than Branch, and as much as Clay wanted to deny it he needed some care too. And then there was everything going on with Grandma.
John Dory seemed to droop in defeat, finally relaxing in Spruce's hold. "What are we supposed to do?"
Spruce sighed. He didn't have an entire plan in mind. It was a vague thought. That was why he wanted John Dory's help. As much as he hated to admit it, his brother was great at coming up with plans. They were sometimes very ambitious and he didn't always think through the details, but that was what Spruce was here for.
"Let's look at it one bro at a time." Spruce said. "What does Branch need? And I mean what we can't give to him ourselves."
"Somebody who actually knows how to take care of a baby." John Dory snorted in a self-deprecating way. He was clearly half joking, but Spruce took it seriously.
"Okay." Spruce said. "I think you're right. I also think that Branch needs friends his age. I mean, has he gone to school at all? Or day-care?"
John Dory sighed. "Not really. We've been busy, I guess." He shook his head. "That's no excuse. Baby Branch needs to have the chance to actually be a baby."
Spruce nodded. At least they saw the same problems. It just sucked that it took this disaster to get here.
"If I let go of you, will you stay? At least long enough for us to talk about this more?" Spruce asked. John Dory nodded. Spruce reluctantly let him go, half expecting his brother to run away. John Dory just turned around to face him. It was a relief.
"Alright, let's do this." John Dory wiped away his tears. "For the bros." They sat down on a tree branch and, for probably the first time in their lives, they talked things through, listened to what each other had to say, and together came up with a plan.
Clay usually enjoyed babysitting. It was probably the one and only time when he knew his brothers were taking him seriously. It was nice to know that John Dory and Spruce trusted him to be responsible for his brothers, and it felt great when Branch and Floyd listened to him and respected him.
But he didn't want to babysit tonight. He was tense and angry, and not in the mood to try to comfort and calm his little brothers, who just wouldn't stop crying.
Branch was easy enough to deal with, but it was a pain. Clay had to carry Branch and cuddle with him constantly. If he put him down for a second then Branch got the most heartbreaking look in his eyes. He seemed to think that if he took his eyes off of Clay for a second then he would vanish and never come back.
It made Clay feel bad, because the fact was he really didn't want to be here. He wanted to get away from his brothers and get past this persona that had been shoved onto him. But he did love his brothers. He wanted a break from them, but clearly Floyd and Branch didn't feel the same way.
Reassuring Branch was easy. He needed constant reassurances, but not much more than that. It was time-consuming though, and it didn't give Clay the chance to give a lot of attention to Floyd.
It was several hours later when Branch finally fell asleep. Clay laid him down on his bed, surrounding him with blankets and plush toys. He felt even more emotionally drained than he had after the disastrous performance. He wanted to relax and read a good book. He was desperate to unwind and give himself time to really process all that had happened. But taking care of Branch had been just one problem. He still had another little brother. One who had almost walked out himself. Obviously he had his own issues that needed to be dealt with.
Their pod wasn't a large one. There weren't a lot of places for somebody to go to find privacy. They all had their own places. Clay liked to make a blanket fort to read in. John Dory liked to sit in the window. Spruce liked to get out of the pod, and he was old enough to be trusted out on his own.
As for Floyd, he liked to climb onto the roof. Grandma didn't like him being up there, because she was worried about him falling and hurting himself. The brothers all understood it though. They all did the same kind of thing.
Clay went outside and whipped his hair out, grabbing a branch and pulling himself up to the roof. Sure enough, Floyd was sitting up there, his legs curled up to his chest. He was staring distantly out towards nothing. He looked even more sensitive and, honestly, pathetic, than he did in all of their photo-shoots, where they spent hours trying to get the 'perfect' pictures. John Dory still hadn't figured out that all he needed to do to get pictures of camera-shy Floyd was to take them when he wasn't noticing. Then the pictures would turn out better, and they wouldn't have to deal with any of the anxiety or tantrums that came up every time they tried to take pictures. It would be a win-win situation.
"Hey, Floyd." Clay sat next to his brother. Floyd didn't even look at him. "You good? You done crying?"
Floyd still didn't look at him, but his eyes narrowed in a glare. Floyd wasn't as prone to yelling as the others, but a temper ran in the family, and he wasn't immune to it. It was hard to get him truly mad, but he could be fierce and relentless when he wanted to be.
"Come on, Floyd, talk to me." Clay said. He hated when his little brother gave him the silent treatment. It was impossible to tell if he was doing it out of bitter pettiness, or because he was so upset that he just couldn't find his words. Neither option was great, but Clay needed to know what he was working with to know how to move forward.
Floyd scowled. "Can we not pretend? I'm not in the mood."
Clay frowned slightly. "Pretend what? Who's pretending?" All he'd been doing was checking on Floyd and making sure he was okay. What part of that was pretend?"
Floyd curled in more on himself. "You are. You're pretending to care."
Clay was too offended to say anything right away. Floyd usually didn't mind speaking his mind and talking about his feelings, but he didn't say more. Clay was just left floundering and trying to figure out what his brother was talking about.
"Pretending to care? What are you…why would you…?" Clay was far less articulate than he would normally want to be. "I'm not pretending."
Floyd scoffed. It was not the kind of sound that he usually made, and Clay didn't like it from him. "Don't lie to me. You don't want to be here. You would be gone and you never would have looked back if Spruce hadn't made you."
And what was Clay supposed to say to that? Floyd wasn't wrong. If Spruce hadn't caught Clay and made him go home, and if he hadn't seen Floyd about to walk out as well, he would have left. He would be at Viva's by now, or even away from the Troll Tree. As soon as Spruce came back, unless he had a really good plan in mind, Clay was out of here.
But he hated the tension in Floyd's posture. He hated how convinced he was that Clay hated him or something.
"Of course I care." Clay said. Floyd was old enough that he should be able to understand that their family relationship was really complicated. They fought, and they sometimes couldn't stand each other, but they were still brothers. Clay reached out and put a hand on Floyd's shoulder. "Come on, Bro, you know I'd do anything for you guys."
"Except stay." Floyd brushed his arm away. "Why don't you go away? It's obvious you want to."
Clay's chest tightened. He felt both frustrated and concerned. Floyd was being dramatic, but Clay knew his feelings were sincere and genuine. He scooted closer to Floyd and went to wrap his arms around him. Floyd usually loved hugs, but as soon as Clay touched him Floyd pushed him away. Clay was pushed back, and then he just kept falling. He tumbled back and felt terror in his chest as he felt the surface beneath him disappear. He started falling.
Clay instinctively reached his hair out. He caught himself and slowly lowered himself to the ground. He was breathing rapidly, trying to calm his nerves. There were some tears in his eyes. He hated crying, but he couldn't make them stop. That had been scary, even if it hadn't been too dangerous. Trolls could handle falls much worse than this. Even if he hadn't caught himself he would probably still be walking away with just a few bruises, if that.
He wasn't scared because he had fallen. He was scared because Floyd had pushed him. Clay was sure that his brother hadn't really meant for him to fall, but it was unnerving that Floyd hadn't even leaned over to double-check that he was okay. Now Floyd was the one acting like he didn't care, and that hurt.
Clay's fear and tears turned to anger, like they so usually did. "You're such a hypocritical little brat." Clay shouted towards the roof. "Why can't you just grow up?"
He didn't get an answer, and he didn't want to wait around for one. Clay wrapped his arms around himself and went inside. He didn't want to cuddle with Branch again, and he definitely didn't want to deal with Floyd's temper tantrum.
This would be the perfect time to read and wait for his older brothers to come back, but he couldn't bring himself to grab his book. How was he supposed to relax right now? So instead he just sat on the couch and stared blankly ahead as the hours passed.
Morning came, and Clay wasn't tired. Branch was still sleeping. Spruce and John Dory still weren't home yet, and a little voice in Clay's head was telling him that they weren't coming back at all. What would he do if they had just left for good? He didn't want to stay here, but he couldn't just leave now.
He had seen how devastated and clingy Branch was. That just wasn't like him. And Floyd was closing himself off, putting up his shields for fear of getting hurt. He still hadn't come down from the roof, and though Clay had been listening carefully he hadn't heard a single sob from him. As odd as it was for Branch to be so clingy, Floyd was acting even less like himself.
Clay just wanted their brothers to come home. They were so much better at talking to Floyd than he was. They might be able to get some actual answers from him without being pushed off the roof.
Was Floyd even still up there? It had been several hours. Surely he couldn't have been pouting for that long. Clay was suddenly hit with the fear that Floyd had taken the opportunity to walk away himself. It was what Clay probably would have done if their positions were reversed.
Feeling like an idiot for not thinking of the possibility sooner, Clay stood up and ran outside, stumbling a bit because his legs were asleep from not using them for a while.
He pulled himself up to the roof and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Floyd still sitting there. His position was a little different, but he was still dutifully looking out towards the horizon.
"It must be a pretty good view for you to still be watching it." Clay said. Floyd sighed deeply, and it was hard to tell if it was from relief, exhaustion, or dread.
"I'm watching for Spruce and John Dory." Floyd said. "You said they'd be back today."
Clay rubbed the back of his neck. "That's what Spruce told me." He sat on the roof, this time keeping a fair distance between him and Floyd. He didn't want a repeat of earlier.
Floyd shifted slightly. "What if they don't come back?"
"They will." Clay said. Floyd turned his head and finally looked at Clay. He didn't like the look in his eyes. Floyd looked defeated, and there was a tired, accusatory look in his eyes.
"But what if they don't?" Floyd asked plainly. Clay wished he would raise his voice. He wanted Floyd to fight for what he wanted. He just sounded resigned. "What will you do?"
Clay bit his lip and looked away. He knew what Floyd meant. He was asking how long Clay would stay before leaving. And Clay felt like a jerk because he knew he was only going to wait for sundown. Oh, he would try to be nicer about his goodbye this time, but he had no intention of staying.
Floyd seemed to know it. He let out a shuddered breath and curled in on himself. "That's what I thought." Floyd tried to sound bitter, but his tone was just tired. "Just…leave me alone. Please."
Clay felt broken-hearted, and he was frustrated by it. Floyd being upset always made him upset and he hated it. Sometimes it felt like Floyd was doing this on purpose, but Clay knew he wasn't. He wasn't manipulative, he was just young and sensitive.
"Okay." Clay said reluctantly. He stood up. He knew how much he hated company when he was desperate to be alone, but it still felt wrong to leave. "Will you tell me if you need anything?"
"What if I said I needed you to stay?" Floyd asked. Clay's chest tightened. He sighed and walked to the edge of the roof.
"I'll check on you later." Clay said quietly. Floyd had gone back to not looking at him. Clay sighed and climbed down from the roof. He went inside and just sat on the couch, waiting and thinking.
Branch eventually joined him, climbing into his lap and snuggling against him. He'd probably been scared to wake up alone in their bedroom. He must have thought he'd been left behind again.
Clay felt bad for upsetting his little brothers, but he didn't know what to say to begin to make it right. Instead he just sat there and held Branch close, both of them needing the reminder that they weren't alone.
The day passed slowly. Clay got up sometimes to play with Branch or get some food together for them, but for the most part he stayed on the couch, feeling just a little more numb with every passing hour.
It wasn't until mid-afternoon that Spruce and John Dory showed up, looking more comfortable around each other than they had ever been. Floyd finally came down from the roof, only to cling to John Dory's leg like his life depended on it. John just put his hand on his back, silently offering comfort.
"What took you so long?" Clay crossed his arms. He was happy to see his brothers, but he was still frustrated with them.
"We had to arrange some things." Spruce said. "But I think we've got it all worked out."
"Here's the thing, guys," John Dory said, getting into lecture mode. "We're falling apart. I know it, you know it, we all know it. None of us are happy together, so me and Spruce were trying to figure out how we'd be happiest apart, you know?"
Clay felt hope rise in his chest. He had thought that his big brothers could come back with false promises of how they'd do better and try harder, and everything in their family would be okay. It was actually really encouraging that they were acknowledging the problem and actually dealing with it.
Floyd and Branch weren't nearly as encouraged by John Dory's words. Floyd clung to his leg even tighter, and Branch's eyes filled with tears.
"Apart?" Branch said quietly. "You guys are leaving?"
"We're not just abandoning you, Branch." Spruce said. "You know Miss Vendi? The really nice lady that babysits you sometimes? She loves little kids. That's why she works at the daycare. But she doesn't have any kids of her own. So, we thought she might be happy to look after you while we're gone."
"She's really excited to have you." John Dory said. "And she's always watching other kids, so you'll be able to make lots of new friends."
Branch had been looking cautious up to this point, but his ears perked up slightly. "I've never had friends before." He said it so matter-of-factly, like he didn't even realize how sad that was.
"And Floyd, we also talked to Everett and Payton. You remember them, don't you?" Spruce said. "And their sons, Shade and Link. You like them, don't you?"
Clay thought that Spruce was highly exaggerating Floyd's relationship with those boys. They were amiable enough, but both Shade and Link were just as introverted as Floyd was. They were only friends in the sense that all three of the kids claimed to be just to get their guardians and teachers off their backs.
Of course, Floyd didn't want to admit to Spruce and John Dory that he didn't have much more experience with friends than Branch did. And Clay wasn't about to rat him out. He just watched as Floyd looked at their big brothers with wide eyes before putting on the fakest smile that Clay had ever seen as he smiled and said that it 'sounded like fun'.
John Dory and Spruce didn't notice Floyd's obvious lie. They were so eager about the plan that Clay doubted they had even considered what to do if one of them didn't like their ideas.
He scowled when they turned their attention to him. "Oh, no, you had better not have found a babysitter for me." He could take care of himself, and he wasn't about to let some stranger boss him around.
John Dory rubbed the back of his neck. "Actually, we found you a job."
Clay's posture relaxed a little. He didn't appreciate his older brothers making these kinds of decisions for him, but a job sounded like a big responsibility. People would take him seriously. And his brothers had found that opportunity for him.
Maybe they had listened to his complaints after all.
"Princess Viva has been going to school so far, but King Peppy wants her to learn more about her royal duties." Spruce said.
Oh. Clay knew about this. He was friends with Viva, and she had ranted about it often enough. She didn't like any of her tutors, and she thought the lessons were so boring.
"You're not saying I'm going to be her tutor, are you?" Clay didn't dare to hope, but Spruce and John Dory were smiling at him. "You're not serious."
"Come on, you'd be great for the job." John Dory said. "You keep her focused on her duties, and King Peppy has agreed to let you stay with them and pay you a small allowance. It's not much, but it's something."
"It's amazing." Clay couldn't remember the last time he had felt so excited. "I have a job? A real job? Working for the royal family? That's huge."
Spruce smirked smugly and gave John Dory a knowing look. "I told you he'd like it."
Floyd clutched tighter to John Dory's leg. "But why do we have to live apart? Can't Clay still have his job, and Branch join the daycare, without leaving? Why can't we all just be at home?"
John Dory sighed and knelt on the ground. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'distance makes the heart grow fonder?'" Floyd shook his head. "It means…uh…" he looked a little confused himself.
"It means that being away from someone can help you to appreciate them more." Clay said.
"It means that we'll still love each other, but we won't fight." Spruce said. "You're the one always trying to figure out how to get us off each other's backs."
"Well, yeah, but-" Floyd looked distressed, but he didn't voice his concerns past that. He just. Lung tighter to John Dory, as though to keep him from leaving.
"I'll tell you what." John Dory said. He brushed some of Floyd's hair out of his face. "Grandma's birthday is in two months. Why don't we give this new plan a try, and we'll get together then and figure out where to go from there. Sound good?"
Floyd's mouth thinned and it was clear to Clay that no, it did not sound good. But Floyd didn't say anything. He just smiled, still putting on a show, and nodded. John Dory gave him a big hug, and then he stood up and pulled away. Floyd let him go, though he didn't look happy about it
John Dory and Spruce started talking about Grandma, and how they arranged for her to stay at the old trolls home. Clay knew she'd probably love it there. He knew they had regular rummy tournaments. He only half listened to them. He was too excited.
This was a great opportunity for him. He had a job. A chance to show everybody how serious he was. And he wouldn't have to deal with his brothers anymore.
No more fighting. No more feeling like he wasn't being listened to. No more being pushed off of roofs by little bros having a temper tantrum.
This was a great plan, and he was sure that in the next two months his little brothers would come to see that too. They were just nervous about the change. When they saw how great things could be without their dysfunctional family they wouldn't possibly want things to go back to the way they were before. Clay was sure of it.