Author's note: New chapter 46 as of 25/10/2024. Sorry for the long delay and the short chapter. I didn't have much time for fanfic this year. Work and everything. I'll try to update as much as I can. See you next year. Enjoy and have a wonderful day.

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Chapter 46 Guinea Pig

It was a morning like any morning. Gin slowly stirred awake, breathing in the peace and comfort his cozy cocoon provided. For once Vermouth's nuisance hair left his nostrils alone. Then, he paused. Strange. He clearly sensed the blonde curling in his embrace, her warmth radiating beneath his arm, her back against his chest. Her back was to him so where was her hair? His eyes fluttered open.

Vermouth's signature golden locks were gone. Instead, the back of a bald, white head consumed his vision. Instantly on guard, he popped up from the mattress, hands reaching for his guns hidden under the bed.

The figure under the blanket turned around, facing him. The left white eye with no iris chillingly stared at him. The wrinkles crumpled with a smile. Gin recognized the face instantly as Rum's voice echoed. "Good morning, Gin."

It would have been very believable had Vermouth finished disguising the rest of her voluptuous body. Gin gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, his arms limp on his sides. His muscles relaxed for a moment of reprieve, then taut when a howl exploded at the top of his lungs. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Of all people in the world, that woman thought spooking him by disguising as his former superior … IN HIS OWN BED … was a great idea.

Vermouth grinned, caressing her mask. "Looks good, doesn't it?"

He growled, his fists hard as rocks. "Take it off!"

Her smirk swelled. His anger was proof of her success. "Aw, don't you like cuddling all night long with sweet old Rum?"

His stomach churned. His dinner worked its way up his digestive system. "What's gotten into you all of the sudden? What have ever done—" Then the realization hit him like a brick. "Don't tell me … I made you sleep on the floor once! Once!"

"Oh, my." Her hand theatrically covered her mouth, feigning a gasp. "I couldn't possibly be so petty."

He could only roll his eyes and spat each word slowly. "Why … why him though?"

"His face has uniquely difficult textures." She was correct in her assessment. Rum had very distinctive features. His facial shape, wrinkles, left eye, and intimidating presence. The look on Gin's face alone was worth her commitment to wearing a white contact lens through the night to sell Rum's imposing aura, which was completely unnecessary, one might think. She smiled as she turned on the light and carefully removed the contact lens covering her left iris.

"Bullshit!" There were infinite options that would be less traumatizing. But she had to pick one for maximum shock value.

A smirk dangled on her lips. "Oh, count your blessings. I've spared you from a much worse fate."

He crossed his arms and scoffed. "Name one disguise that is worse than Rum."

A mischievous gleam flashed in her eyes as she approached her man. She drawled as slowly as humanly possible. "Shuichi Akai."

His face instantly fell. His expression was that of pure terror. "... no."

"Yes." She cupped his cheeks. "Imagine finding yourself snuggling up to your one and only arch nemesis—Shuichi Akai."

He swatted her hands away in disgust. "You sick, twisted witch."

"How about Bourbon? Wouldn't you two be so sweet together?" Her eyes twinkled.

Strange images invaded his mind. He shuddered. "Stop. Talking."

"Or perhaps Vodka? Now that would be nice." She was positively glowing with glee, basking in delight.

"Shut up!" He grabbed her shoulders, his veins popping from sheer anger amid her maniacal laughter.

She laughed so hard she flopped down on the bed. Her belly hurt from the muscle contraction alone. His anger evaporated along with her elation until only utter defeat remained. He barked. "Are you done? Are we even now?"

She casually leaned back on her hands and wiped a joyful tear from the corner of her eye. "Not even close."

On the upside, now that his anger subsided and his thoughts cleared. His logic finally returned to his befuddled mind. He frowned as he tried to trace back the events preceding her prank. "How do you even get your disguise on? How do you even get up without me knowing?"

Especially without him knowing. He certainly didn't notice any suspicious activity last night and he was beyond paranoid. Regardless of how skilled Vermouth was, disguise required meticulous, time-consuming work. He had witnessed her process countless times. By his most generous estimation, it should have taken her an hour staring at a mirror at least.

"It's a secret." She tilted her head to the side, her index finger on her curving lips. She carefully removed the mask, admiring her work. "It's for me to know and for you to wonder."

"It's for Michael, isn't it? It's what you and Mary are cooking up for him." He narrowed his eyes at her action. It wasn't difficult to deduce. Any other times, she would have ripped the mask clean off her face and effectively ruined it. But she didn't. She handled it with care. Therefore, it must be a valuable prototype from the new generation of hyper realistic masks, courtesy of the MI6.

"No comment." She sent a devious wink his way, much to his eternal frustration.

-o0o-

Some time earlier. In an undisclosed location.

Vermouth stood under cold, white fluorescent light and examined the latex mask on the table. "This will be a game changer."

"Revolutionary even." Mary nodded. A very high praise from the usually reserved woman. What they had developed could turn the tide of wars or worse, cause one. The new generation of hyper realistic masks made a leap forward and removed the two barriers that made disguising exclusive. One was skill and the other was time.

Traditional disguise demanded both skill and time from its practitioners which weren't easy to learn, let alone master. While still requiring a level of skill and time, these new-generation masks could be premade and shipped en masse. Given the wearers' and targets' faces, experts such as Vermouth could produce these masks with ease. A few touch-ups here and there by the spies on the field and et voila. Vermouth had Yukiko to thank. She got the ideas from Yukiko helping her husband—a complete novice learning the art of disguise by using premade masks. Of course, it came with a few drawbacks such as cost, facilities, and manpower which the MI6 was happy to provide. That was why she needed to produce the experts who would manufacture these masks in the future.

"Indeed. I suppose testing will commence then. Keen eyes would be extremely helpful." Vermouth turned to her reluctant colleague. "Say Mary. Would you volunteer—"

"Stay away from my son." Mary's glare cut the former actress off. She didn't need to hear the full sentence to imagine the havoc Vermouth would wreck and she wanted her family far away from the chaos.

"Shame. I guess my man will have to do." Gin and Akai were the few people who could see through Vermouth's disguise with ease. Their reactions would tell her all she needed to know. She smiled, her eyes teeming with mischief. "I'll be sure to enjoy the fun."

"You are one sick bitch."

"Why, thank you." Vermouth grinned and clutched her chest in pride, much to Mary's annoyance.

-o0o-

Akemi had seen things that could not be unseen. It was a simple trip to the supermarket. Then, she caught a glimpse of Gin shopping with Kate. Oh, lovely. She should say hi or so she thought. She started heading their way, a bright smile on her lips. As she was approaching them, it was then she saw a man who she didn't recognize. The man with huge scars covering his face, a thick, white beard around his jaw, his eyes menacing. Then, she saw the man getting closer … and closer …

Her face turned white. Shock rumbled through her bones.

She rushed home and almost ran a red light. She stormed into her house so fast she left her front door wide open. Grabbing her husband in the kitchen, she gabled. Her words stumbled into an incoherent mess. "Sh-shuu! Shuu! Super-super—"

"Breathe. In and out." Akai hastily wiped his hands clean and waited for her to catch her breath. "Now tell me. What happened?"

"I saw Gin kissing a man! Well … no, a man kissing Gin! Scars all over his face and a full beard!" Akemi was gesturing all over the place from sheer shock. She didn't have a problem with two men being affectionate, but it was Gin. Gin—the Gin of all people. It was like saying the sky wasn't blue. And he didn't even punch the man. At least. What in the world … Had Akemi been more composed, she would have caught Mary rolling her eyes. Had Akemi listened, she would have heard Mary muttering something along the line of "twisted bitch".

"Are you sure it was Gin?" Akai frowned. He had a healthy skepticism about the matter. The man had just gotten a haircut. Without his signature long hair, it was easy to mistake him for someone else.

"Yes! Katie was with him too! What do I do? Do I say something?" Then, horror consumed her. Her hand covered her gaping mouth. "Oh God! What if Vermouth knows?"

"Is that him?" Akai gestured at the open door. With the door wide open, it gave everyone a clear view of the Vineyard's house across the street and the strange scarred, bearded man carrying Kate in his arms. The girl didn't seem to be in any distress. In fact, she was smiling. Then, there was Gin who was parking his car with such ferocity as if he was about to commit murder.

"That's him! That's him! Oh Lord, he has Katie! Shu, do something?" Akemi dragged her husband toward the door, the recent failed abduction flashing in her mind. In all fairness, the horribly disfigured man looked like a generic Hollywood supervillain.

"Let me handle it." After seeing Kate cheerfully playing around, Shuichi Akai had a theory. He sauntered toward the trio while Akemi tentatively trailed after him with a phone in her hand, ready to dial the police.

"Shu!" Kate beamed and waved at him while remaining in the terrifying man's arms,

"Hi, sweetheart." Akai flashed the child a smile. Then, he turned to the strange man and gave him a knowing look. "I assume you have your reasons … Vermouth."

"Vermouth!?" Akemi yelped, gripping her husband's arm for support, her jaw hitting the ground.

"My, you are no fun." A familiar feminine voice rang out from the stranger.

Now with a renewed sense of confidence and reassurance, Akemi inched closer and observed the hideous features on Vermouth's face. "Wow, I can't tell even up close."

"Akai can." A slight annoyance colored Vermouth's tone. "Still."

"It wasn't the mask. Katie gave you away" Akai chuckled and indicated the little girl who was enjoying her mother's performance. She was too easygoing with a man she supposedly never met before. When coupled with Gin's frustrated yet harmless reactions, it all made sense.

"Of course." Vermouth finally let a smile bloom on her lips.

"May I ask … why?" Akemi asked, very much confused. It seemed unnecessarily cruel for no particular reason.

"I'm testing a few difficult textures." Vermouth answered which was the truth. Only it wasn't the whole truth.

"Oh, I see! That's why you have the scars. And beards." Akemi exclaimed. She imagined scars and beards would be much harder than a regular, plain face.

Gin slammed his car door shut and growled. "Pray tell, what part of testing possesses you to kiss me?"

"What is life without flair?" Vermouth turned to him, positively glowing with glee, her grin radiating. Then, she gestured at her fuming man and told the Akais, "Don't feel too bad for him. This one made me sleep on the floor. On vacation."

"Once! How long are you going to hold it over my head?" Gin barked, hot steams billowing from his head.

"Kidding aside. Had I been a stunning lady, you wouldn't have minded one bit." Vermouth arched her brow at Gin, driving her point home, earning her an exhausted eye-roll. Then, she clutched her chest and exaggeratingly feigned distress. "Now that I look like a man. You don't love me anymore."

"You—" Gin, for once, was at a loss for words. His face was burning, hot enough to fry omelets.

"It's all about look with you, isn't it?" Vermouth brought Kate closer, nuzzling the girl's hair. "Sweetheart, do you want to give mommy a kiss?"

"Yeah." Kate nodded and gave her mother a loud smooch on her scarred cheek.

"Good girl." Vermouth's triumphant smirk doused Gin's fiery glare. "See the difference."

"Fuck you." Gin spat like a cobra shooting venom. He would never willingly kiss a "man".

"Scared daddy." Kate needled him with her smug side-eye.

"It's a matter of principles."

"Chicken daddy." Kate grinned ear to eat then proceeded to cluck. "Bak! Bak! Ba-gawk!"

"Not going to happen." Gin scoffed. His frown quickly morphed into wickedness when a thought occurred to him. "You do realize if I'm a chicken then you're one too. As in I'm your father."

That ended the clucking.

"If you were a woman, I would still love you." Vermouth pointed out but her words were gasoline pouring over his fire.

Kate raised her hand, her face shining. "Me too!"

"See." Vermouth's victorious smirk deepened which didn't help.

"Why am I your only guinea pig? Why aren't you messing with him?" Gin eyed his nemesis. The man's peaceful existence got on his nerves. And the truth was Akai would make an equally effective test subject as him.

"I asked. His mummy said no." Vermouth chuckled, recalling their conversation.

"My mother?" Akai arched his brow. He didn't think his proud mother would be involved in this ridiculous shenanigan.

"You're welcome." Mary, with Hikaru in her arms, appeared out of nowhere. The child's face lit up upon seeing Akai, his hands waving to get his dad's attention, eager babbles bubbling from his toothless mouth. "Your son's looking for you."

Akai took the now contented boy in his arms and whispered in his mother's ear. "I could not thank you enough."

"Correct." Mary basked in her glory for a brief moment before apparating back to her cozy spot and resuming her tea break. As far as she was concerned, rearing a child was a parent's job, not a grandparent's. Of course, she would help out but if and only if absolutely necessary. She was certainly not going to spend her golden years changing diapers nor did she want to be a part of that witch's shenanigan. Speaking of which …

Gin's torment continued.

"Come on. Give your beautiful wife a kiss." Vermouth piled on her teasing, tapping her scarred cheek. "One peck."

A very bemused Gin gritted his teeth. "I will be sleeping in the guest room."

"One kiss won't hurt you. It's not the end of the world."

"Right, like how you kiss Mary." If Gin was in hell, then he would drag everyone down with him.

Vermouth rolled her eyes. "What does it have to do with anything?"

"Really?" Kate asked, more amused than anything.

"It was all good fun." Vermouth grinned and pinched the girl's cheek, unashamed, proud even.

"Excuse me?" Akai was bewildered, his mouth wide open, his jaw on the ground, his mind a tangled mess. "You … and my mother." He couldn't even utter the word "kiss" in the same sentence.

"Shame things didn't work out." Vermouth's blue eyes sparkled under the warm sunlight. "I would have loved to be your stepmommy."

Step … mommy … Step mommy … Something inside Akai's brilliant mind snapped. He stood, frozen, eyes blank, his soul shattering into a million pieces.

"Shu?" Kate and Akemi asked simultaneously, a bit concerned.

"Oh dear, I think I broke Shuichi Akai." Vermouth's words might have sounded apologetic on the surface; her tone, however, did not. Her glee could fill a pool.

Meanwhile, Gin grinned, pleased with the outcome he had architected, successfully redirecting Vermouth's whims onto his nemesis. Better Akai than him.

-o0o-

Note: this chapter reminded me of a story I read when I was little. I must have been 20-odd years ago so I can't find the source anymore.

A man and his beautiful lover come to Buddha. They couldn't be together in this life so he asks to be with his lover in the next life. Buddha agrees.

In the next life, the man remembers his wish and searches for his lover but he can't find her anywhere. The man comes back to Buddha and complains.

Buddha points at the man's burly manservant and tells him that his lover has been with him all this time.

It demonstrates the illusion of love and what the man truly loves is her appearance.

Of course, being written so long ago, it doesn't take into account what we know about human sexual orientations. Just something to think about.

On a less serious note, I must say religious texts do plot twists really well.

-o0o-