DISCLAIMER: This fanfiction will follow its own timeline, however, I've tried to stick to the movie timeline as much as possible. It must be noted that this story is rated M as there will be some explicit content mentioned much later in the story (depictions of sexual intimacy, and also mentions of rape and abuse). Still, forewarnings will be provided at the beginning of the respective chapter.

It must be noted that I don't own any of the Marvel characters or anything affiliated with the Marvel Universe. However, all OC and original content have been created by me.

CHAPTER TWENTY

"The One with the Rude Awakening"

[BUCKY'S POV]

Bucky stood on the sidewalk unmoving as he began to listen to faint whispers from the people around him. Clearly, the onlookers had witnessed and overheard Lilah's 'little outburst' and were now casting judging glances at him. "Isn't that the Avengers terrorist guy?" a girl mumbled into the ear of her companion glaring at him as they walked past. Her friend strained her neck to look over at him as if he were an animal in a zoo, "oh yeah, but he's pardoned and working with them now, right?' she slurred. 'Great,' Bucky grumbled, 'so much for keeping a low profile,'.

Turning up the collar on his blazer to partially cover his face, Bucky was just about to flag a taxi down when he heard a call from the direction of the pub doors, "Hey man," it was Sam. He walked over adjusting his coat, "What are you still doing here? I thought I saw you leaving with Dr L?" He added a suggestive lift of his eyebrows which Bucky scoffed at. Sam pulled back a little. He had been around enough elderly Veterans and Bucky to know when he was agitated. "Whoa, what happened? You and Dr L seemed to be hitting it off when I left-" Before Sam could complete his sentence, Bucky turned to him and snapped, "Drop it!" He didn't raise his voice or shout anything else at Sam. But the two words and unmoving glare came across as more than a warning. It was a threat. Sam knew better than to push for further information and took a step back. Watching Sam retreat, Bucky looked back to the street and continued flagging down a taxi.

[LILAH'S APARTMENT]

Lilah threw her clutch across her bedroom and watched it land with a thud against the far wall. She sunk to the floor, toeing at the tendrils of the fluffy carpet now that she had taken her shoes off. Pushing her back harder into the side of her bed, Lilah eventually straightened against the softness of the mattress, tilted her head back, and closed her eyes. She called Sophia not too long after arriving home and was now waiting for her to arrive.

"Lady, if you're calling me, it better be to tell me that you had the hottest alleyway, terminator sex," Lilah could just imagine Sophia standing in the middle of all the party madness and making that sly smile of hers into the phone. Wanting to stay strong and retort like normal, Lilah began with a small laugh but her voice cracked and faltered. Covering her mouth to stop the sob from completely escaping, it allowed a gap of silence that spoke words of worry to Sophia. "Lilah? What's wrong?" She heard her voice become clearer as she moved to a quieter space. "What happened? Did he hurt you?" The questions came fast, fierce, and protective from her friend. Lilah expected nothing less. She shook her head even though Sophia couldn't see her, "No no," Lilah responded quickly and then she went silent, "…But I think … I might have hurt him," Lilah whimpered, sniffling hard and long to keep from breaking down again. Sophia was quiet on the other end. Lilah breathed hard and deep into the phone. The sob burning in her chest as she held on to it, "I don't want to need him anymore, Soph," The words fell out of her mouth and followed a body-wracking sob that broke her. The last thing she heard was Sophia's voice, "I'm coming over,".

Now, 20 minutes later, Sophia was sitting next to her, gripping her hand with her head lolling onto Lilah's shoulder. "I don't know, Soph, it was like this unbelievable feeling of anger bursting out of me," Lilah explained. "I had no idea that I even felt that way toward him, I mean, I've only ever felt … love for him," the confusion was written all over her face. Sophia lifted her head from Lilah's shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Lil" She said squeezing her palm. Shutting her eyes firmly, a stray tear rolled down Lilah's cheek and she quickly turned away from Sophia. She didn't have the strength to cry anymore but the ache in the pit of her gut continued to drain any energy and tears remaining from her body.

Sophia ran a finger down Lilah's cheek, wiping away the stray tear and its trail, "it's going to be okay," her voice was like a warm blanket around Lilah's shoulders. Sinking into Sophia's arms, she readjusted her body and rolled down until her head was comfortably settled onto Sophia's lap. Lilah stared unblinkingly at her room doorway as Sophia began to weave her fingers through her hair; massaging and brushing. It was one of Lilah's favourite comforts and Sophia knew it. "You'll see babes," her words were less than a whisper, "Everything will be alright," … and everything went black.

"Lilah," the voice was faint and calling out to her, "Lilah!" Her eyes snapped open, but she wasn't on the floor anymore. She was standing in the far corner of her room, watching over the scene that had unfolded not more than half an hour ago. Sophia darted from the doorway to Lilah who was shivering in the fetal position on the floor. Dream-state Lilah could do no more than watch as Sophia immediately snapped into 'medical emergency mode' and began checking her friend's vitals, assuring her that she would be okay and coaxing her to sit up. Then suddenly, it was as if time had blurred and skipped forward to the point that Sophia had finally got her settled. Sophia was now in front of her and holding her hands, begging her for something. Did this really happen? Lilah thought back hard. She knelt closer to watch the out-of-body scene and saw the intense emotion in Sophia's eyes and realised with a sinking feeling that this was real. Yes... It did happen.

"You listen to me, right now Delilah Kiran Novak, you need to cry!" Sophia hugged Lilah's drained body close to her, "And not just any kinda cry, I mean really ugly, snotty nose, can-barely-breathe cry," she gripped Lilah's face and turned her head so they were looking each other dead-straight in the eyes. Lilah was met with a seriousness that she rarely ever saw from Sophia, "I'm talking borderline wailing here because baby, you need to cry this guy out of your system! Do you know why? Because you are meant to be loved. Hard and fiercely. Gentle and softly. And everything in between!" Sophia released her pinching grip on Lilah's cheeks, allowing her friend a reprieve from her yelling. Taking a deep breath, Sophia lowered her voice and ran a hand over Lilah's shoulder, "Sweetheart, even if James does come back into your life now, after whatever happened, and falls madly deeply do in love with you, then that's great but you still need to let the old James go," Lilah looked up at Sophia with a childlike longing in her eyes, "because babes, the man that's here in this time, that ain't him anymore. The James you remember is gone." Lilah began shaking her head in denial and pulled away from Sophia slightly but her friend tugged her back. "Baby, stop holding on. You're waiting for a man that's never coming back home. He. Is. Gone." Sophia punctuated each word of her last sentence. Lilah stared at Sophia with a glazed look as the realization flooded her.

Dream-state Lilah could do no more than watch as the two friends before her dissolved into a blur of hugs and tears. Sophia was right. Her James was gone. The man from her memories and the man she loved was no more. Replaced by this James. Version-number-unknown.

Suddenly, a gut-twisting lurch pulled from Lilah's center. The sensation felt like gravity pulling her down to Earth, but here she was, still standing in her dream state.

And then everything went dark.

Lilah inhaled an audible gasp but quickly remained still as she realied that she was back under Sophia's hand. She was back in her body and in her room. Blinking a moment to readjust her eyes to the darkness that had settled around them. She focused then on a dull ember stream of light coming from the opened curtain behind them. Watching the light catch tendrils of floating dust particles, Lilah balanced her breath and started thinking ... planning.

Carefully, as not to disturb the deeply slumbering Sophia, Lilah lifted her head and peered up at her bedside clock to find it was almost 05h00. She knew then what needed to be done. She had to see him.

She had to see James.

Author's Note:

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