I dedicate this story to my good friend Grzesiek, who isn't going to read it because he's never seen M*A*S*H, but he's taught me some very useful facts about typewriters to use here.

It was the middle of summer on the Iowan plains. There was not a gust of wind to make the leaves rustle and the sun was shining strongly. Radar O'Reilly was feeling as if it was right beside his face. Suddenly, everything started shaking and a voice spoke:

"Radar, you're sleeping on your desk!"

Radar's head jerked upwards and he blinked a few times, returning to reality. The "sun" turned out to be his desk lamp, which was shining on his face while he was asleep with his head resting upon the pile of papers covering his desk.

Radar's vision focused on the MASH CO, Henry Blake's face.

"Oh, I'm really sorry, sir!" Radar gasped, "I have all these reports to finish and I must have fallen asleep by accident."

"Don't be sorry, Radar! You're clearly overworked, seeing that you're the only one who can do anything administrative in here. Just go to bed, you'll finish these tomorrow. Or later today, should I say," Colonel Blake glanced at his watch with concern on his face.

"But, sir…"

"Off to bed with you, that's an order!" said Henry decisively.

"Yes, sir."

As the commander went outside to go to his own quarters, the young soldier rose from his chair, rubbing his sleepy eyes, turned off the light and walked the few paces from his desk to his bed. Sitting on it, he quickly undressed to his undershirt and shorts and hung his glasses upon the bed's frame, then slipped under the blanket and fell asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

"Heeeeel-lo, soldier!" this time, what woke him was a young and cheerful voice. Radar opened his eyes to see a long-nosed and dark-haired… creature. It appeared to be a man, but it couldn't be denied the person was wearing a frilly dress, complete with a hat and a handbag. From his position on the bed Radar couldn't see it, but he was sure the costume also included high-heeled shoes.

"Oh, you're the guy from yesterday!" Radar exclaimed, remembering how he'd bumped into what he thought to be a woman and apologizing to the "ma'am", just to be scolded for not being able to tell a guy from a girl…

"Oh, that's you, the guy in the glasses!" the chicly clad man replied. "I didn't recognize you without them. Sorry for lashing out on you yesterday, I was kinda nervous."

"No problem, ma'am… I mean, sir."

"I'm no sir, I'm a Corporal! You can call me Klinger."

"You can call me Radar."

"Why-" Klinger didn't manage to finish his question, as in that moment Radar suddenly sat up, winced and pressed a palm to his forehead.

"Oh, no, I forgot to set the alarm clock and Colonel Blake will be here in a moment, and I'm not up!" he cried.

"Are you okay?" Klinger approached him to get a better look at his face, "Your face is all flushed and you're holding your head like this-"

"It's nothing, just a headache, but I should've gotten up earlier, there's so much to do…" the younger Corporal lamented.

"Take it easy, the Colonel sometimes sleeps late from what I've heard. You don't know if today isn't one of those days."

"Oh, I know that because-"

At that moment, the door opened, revealing the figure of Henry Blake.

"Sir, I'm sorry-" Radar began, but he was quickly cut off by Klinger.

"Colonel Blake, sir! I'm Corporal Klinger, arrived yesterday! Pardon me for not reporting to you sooner, but I was told that you were extremely busy… teaching a nurse new techniques or something like that. So it's only today that I could present myself to you, sir!" the soldier saluted, clicking his high heels on the floor.

"What is this masquerade so early in the morning?" Henry demanded, eyeing the 4077th's newest serviceman from head to toe.

"Not a masquerade, sir! This is how I dress! You wanna know why?"

"I'd rather not…"

"I'm crazy! Section 8-crazy! So, if you'll allow, let's just quickly get it over with, you'll sign my discharge papers and we can say adieu!"

"Oh, now I remember! They warned me against you. Sorry, fella, I'm not signing anything. You're staying here, whether you like it or not, and, for that matter, whether I like it or not. Just what did I do to General Hammond to deserve this…" Henry sighed.

"But, sir-"

"No buts. I've got lots to do today and I overslept… The same goes for you, huh, Radar?"

"Sorry, sir, I'll be up right away."

Something in Radar's voice concerned Henry and he approached him just like Klinger had done earlier.

"You don't look too well," he observed. "Does your throat hurt?" he asked.

"Uh, a bit, but it's nothing, really. Especially in comparison to my head," Radar replied. Henry touched the young man's forehead.

"A fever! All typical symptoms of influenza," he concluded. " It's all my fault, I've been overworking you. But what am I to do when we're so short of people… Now, it's even worse. Who will take care of the administrative work…?"

"I'm sorry, sir!"

"You've got nothing to be sorry for! None of this is your fault. I'll arrange something, you don't worry about a thing. Now, let's get you to post-op, in there we'll be able to take better care of you."

"There's no need, sir, I can stay here and do my work-"

"Nonsense! Get up, put on your bathrobe and I'll take you to post-op, that's an order. Boy, look at me, giving orders every day," Henry sighed while Radar started putting on his bathrobe with resignation. "Who do you think should replace you until you're feeling better?" Henry asked him.

"Um, that's a tough question," Radar replied, "There's Sergeant Zale, but…"

"I know, I know. If we give this man access to the clerk stuff as well as supply, we'll one day wake up with the entire camp smuggled away. Anyone else?"

"There's Private Straminsky, but I once gave him some forms to fill and then nobody including him could read what he had written."

"Of course. So, we'll have to search somewhere else. Do you have an idea?"

Before Radar could answer, Klinger spoke.

"Sir, if I may-"

"Ah, right! You're a Corporal, aren't you? Volunteering for a task, great-"

"No, sir, that's not what-"

"Can you read and write?"

"Yes, sir, but-"

"Perfect, that's already better than what else we have to choose from. I'll be taking Radar to post-op now, and you start by reading the reports he's begun writing. When I'm back, I'll tell you how to finish them."

"Sir-"

"That's an order! Gee, look at me, I'm turning right into an army guy," muttering under his breath, Henry took Radar by his elbow and they started walking towards post-op.