Kakashi Hatake didn't know what possessed him to visit the Memorial Stone a second time that day. He had made his first visit early that morning before his mission and one visit was typically enough. Yet, there had been a nagging feeling that drew him there once again despite the deluge. The sight of a small body face down on the ground with two big ninken on either side wasn't what he expected to be greeted with. He recognized the ninken and their owner after only a few seconds.
He knew he should just leave her. She was no one to him, a stranger. He owed her absolutely nothing. With that in mind, he turned away from the motionless girl and began to walk away. He could only make it a few steps before the nagging voice in his head became more annoying than just getting the girl to safety.
With a frustrated sigh, he turned back around and marched up to her. The two ninken guarding her growled as he approached.
"I'm trying to help her, she's hurt and you both know it." The ninken seemed reluctant to back down, but after a moment they relented. He closed the distance and knelt beside her body, assessing the damage before taking her into his arms and standing. Her eyes briefly fluttered open, widening when they landed on his masked face.
"Kakashi?" she mumbled before her eyes rolled back and she passed out again. Kakashi didn't know how Ashi knew who he was, and ultimately he didn't care. The only reason he was even helping her was as a service to Kushina. He had been guarding the house the night Ashi spent with her, and he knew how much it meant to the redhead. There hadn't been anything he could do to help her, but he could help Ashi.
The first thing I registered was that my entire body ached. The second thing I registered was that someone was holding my hand. That combination was all I needed to know to put together that I was in the hospital. How I ended up at the hospital was a mystery for another time.
Careful of the bright hospital lights, I tentatively peeled my eyes open. My caution was for nothing though since it was nighttime. No blinding hospital lights to be seen. With that obstacle cleared, I turned my attention to the person sleeping in the chair next to me.
After the realization I had earlier, I wasn't surprised to see Itachi. I was careful in my movements. The slightest change in my breathing or heart rate would wake him up. It was harder than I wanted it to be to keep myself steady. Nothing had changed between us, so I didn't need to feel any different. He was my best friend, that was all.
The fact that he was holding my hand while I was unconscious in a hospital bed was just friendly activity.
"Ashi? You're awake." Fuck. My heart was a traitor.
"That can't be a comfortable position to sleep in," I whispered, scared to break the serenity of the quiet hospital room. He moved his hand away quickly and I pretended not to notice.
"I've slept in worse," he whispered back.
"Are you gonna ask me what happened?"
"I figured you'd tell me even if I didn't ask." Usually, he would have been correct, but how was I supposed to explain that I almost killed my sister? That Kuromaru had to tackle me away from her before I could cut her carotid. That Kaa-san had to physically restrain me because I was so out of control. I didn't even really understand what had happened so how could I possibly explain it to Itachi?
"I-," I started softly before taking a deep breath. "I did something really bad, and I don't know how I'm going to face my family again."
The tears welled up in my eyes before I had any hope of stopping them. Itachi had a look of concern on his face that I had only seen a handful of times, one of them being the night of the Kyuubi attack when I broke down in front of him. It wasn't like me to speak softly or to cry.
"I'm sure it can't have been that bad, and your family loves you." He replied gently. "I know you all will figure it out."
"I almost killed Hana," Saying it out loud made me feel sick. The reality is that I did almost kill Hana. That if Kuromaru had arrived a second later it would have been too late. I knew killing was going to be a part of my world now, that my entire job would require it of me time and time again, but Hana wasn't an enemy. She was my sister. The same sister whose bed I would crawl into when I had a nightmare, who would take me on picnics and braid my hair.
To Itachi's credit, he kept his expression the same. "I know there has to be more to it than that."
"Why does it matter? That doesn't change what I almost did," I cried, hastily trying to wipe away my tears. It was a fruitless effort as they were just immediately replaced by fresh ones. "I felt out of control, l was just so angry."
Itachi didn't say anything else. Instead, he leaned forward to place a comforting hand on my back as I cried. He did tend to let his actions speak more than his words. His hand on my back was the catalyst for the dam to break. The tears soaked my hospital blanket as the fear and shame flooded through me. Itachi stayed by my side the whole time, a comforting presence as my world seemed to be falling apart.
Itachi had to leave once I was done crying. He wouldn't tell me exactly how long he'd been by my bedside, but I knew it had to have been a long time and he had clan business to attend to. Besides, it wasn't as if he was leaving me completely alone. Since I had woken up, Shiro and Yuki were taking turns laying with me since the hospital bed was only big enough for one of them at a time.
However, it did give me an unfortunate amount of time to think about things. I would have to go home eventually. Itachi had been my only visitor which meant Kaa-san was still giving me time to process what happened. She said we needed to talk which meant she knew something about what happened to me that day. There was nothing in our clan history that I was aware of that could explain why I snapped and almost killed Hana. The Inuzuka's jutsu had always seemed fairly straightforward and I never thought twice about it. I knew whatever answer Mom had for me wasn't going to be a pleasant one, but I couldn't hide forever.
I was discharged later that day with only a few bandages to signify that I had been hurt in the first place. The sun had set by the time I approached home and the light on in the kitchen signified that Mom was home and waiting. Usually, she would have been at The Kennel at this time. That also did not bode well.
Shiro and Yuki trailed behind me as I approached the door. If I had a tail it would have been tucked between my legs. After taking a deep breath to steady myself as much as possible, I pushed open the door. The comforting smell of home was almost enough to bring tears back to my eyes. I didn't feel worthy of being there, of calling it my home after what I had done.
"Are you going to stand in the doorway all night with your tail tucked between your legs or are you going to come face your problem head-on?" Mom called from the kitchen. Well, at least she seemed the same as always. Without a word, I trudged into the kitchen. It was time to face the music.
"How's Hana?" I asked quietly. My sister wasn't home or I would have been able to sense her. The same way I was able to sense Kiba asleep in his bed on the other side of the house.
"She'll be fine, she's getting discharged tomorrow," she answered and I felt the tears pricking the corner of my eyes. I took a deep breath and forced them away. Now wasn't the time for tears no matter how relieved I was. "Take a seat, pup."
I didn't need to be told twice. After taking the seat across from her, I let myself finally meet Mom's eyes. She looked tired and the fact that I was able to discern that told me just how bad it was. The pit in my stomach grew. "I almost killed her, Kaa-chan."
The words hung in the air between us. No matter how many times I said them aloud they always left a lump in my throat. Shiro and Yuki pressed their heads against my legs to try and provide some comfort. It helped a little.
Mom sighed. "Yes. You almost killed Hana."
Hearing her say it with such finality knocked the wind out of me. "If Kuromaru didn't get there when he did, I would have."
"Yes. You would have."
"Why?" My voice trembled despite my best effort.
Mom sighed again. Twice in two minutes had to be a record. "What were you feeling at that moment? Explain it to me the best you can."
I didn't want to relive it, but I couldn't refuse if she asked. "I was angry that Hana was punishing me for something I didn't know anything about. I felt like… my control over my life was slipping. I was in so much pain and I was so tired and when she slammed me into the ground and broke my nose it felt like something snapped inside of me. There was this animalistic rage that took over. At that moment she wasn't my sister, she was my enemy and I had to kill her before she killed me."
My bumbling explanation didn't seem like it would help explain anything, but Mom nodded. "It's rare, but there are some in our clan whose chakra mutates under certain conditions. As it did with you, it brings out a more animalistic side as a defense mechanism. There is training we will do to help you, but you will likely never be able to control it fully."
Her explanation was blunt and not very informative which was to be expected. It didn't make it any easier to swallow. A mutation that I would never be able to fully control was not ideal. "Oh."
I didn't know what else to say.
Mom reached across the table to grab my chin and force my eyes to meet hers. "You're my daughter, Ashi. We will see our way through this."
She sounded so confident. She left no room for argument or doubt. "We will see our way through this."
A/N: I'm just as surprised to see myself here as you all are lol. Trust, nothing is ever abandoned here. Love you all!