Okay, I don't talk to myself much, so listen up and listen good, me. I've got a bad itch in my right eye and I just can't get back to sleep. Stuff like that just seems to annoy you. And stuff like that really annoys me.

But that's what you get when you're the Prince of the Pride Lands, I guess. You're having a great time, and then all of a sudden the fun gets sucked right out. Most time crazy lion who would love nothing more to tear your legs off – and then eat them, and then throw up what's left of them all over your dead body. Yuck.

But I kinda got used to that. At least, I think I got used to that. It's happened hundreds of times. I think I've actually lost count now. Trouble keeps popping up again and again and again – but I just can't seem to figure out why. It's really weird. What's also weird is talking to yourself – but forgive me for the moment. I get that way when I'm annoyed. Actually, I'm thinking to myself, so it's even weirder to say that I'm talking to… You know what, never mind. It's just going to make my brain hurt even more.

I deserve a reward. If I told anyone this then that's what they would say. "Simba, you deserve a reward," they would say. "You need a break. It's about time the Great Kings of the Past shined some light on your tiny little head." Anyone would say that. Anyone.

But the truth is this: I already have a reward. A very special, amazing, wonderful reward that I can't help but stare at all the time.

My reward is a cub . An unb elievably beautiful cub called Nala. With her creamy fur and her bright teal eyes, she just has this… effect on me. I can't explain it, b ut I love it. And I love her, too.

Why do I love her? The better question would be this: why don't I love her? She's completely flawless, in every single way. She's so perfect. It's hard to believe. I've never seen anything like her. Sure, I've seen girls before, but none of them have that certain… appeal that Nala does. She's incredible.

If she's happy, then you're happy. If she laughs, you laugh. If she cries, you cry. It's almost as if she's some kind of hypnotist – a hypnotist who has total control over your mind. That's what she does. She hypnotises you. You can't help but love her. You just… fall into this love-induced trance.

Sorry – that sounded a little nerdy. But I can't help myself. You see, ever since I woke up this morning, I've felt a little… different. Different in a way I can't even really describe. And it's not just looks I'm talking ab out, either. I'm talking about mental changes. All that weird… stuff up in your brain. The kind of stuff that makes you who you are. For me, all of that's changed now. Completely changed. And I don't know if it'll ever go b ack to normal.

The worst part is that I don't even know how it started. Last night, everything was great. I was having a good time – considering I'd just b een chased all around the Pride Lands by a bunch of hungry, evil creatures – and everything was okay. I went to sleep – snuggled up next to Nala, of course – and I felt the same way I did every night: perfectly fine…

But then I woke up the next morning. And everything was different. Completely different. So different that I began to wonder if I was crazy or not. It certainly feels like it – after all, I am talking to myself. Sorry, thinking to myself. I'm always getting those two mixed up. I wonder who invented those stupid words in the first place…? Actually, never mind, I'm just going off the point – again.

I woke up the same way, too. A nice b ig yawn; stretch out a little; and turn to look at the most beautiful girlfriend anyone could ever ask for: Nala. Ah, Nala… just the thought of her makes me feel like there are billions of butterflies flying around in my stomach. Excuse me for a few moments while I stop my heart from beating so fast…

There, done. Now where was I? Yawning, stretching, and then… Oh, yeah, Nala. Yeah, she's great. Moving on – I turned to look at Nala, and then I found out something very, very odd…

She wasn't there.

Now, anyone else would say this to me: "Oh, Simba, stop being such a scaredy cat. She probab ly just got thirsty or something and went out to get a drink. You're always worrying. Now stop talking to me or I'll rip your throat out."

Okay, so maybe they wouldn't be that threatening, but you get my point. The point is this: Nala's normally there – and I don't take very kindly to ab normality. Hey, I've never used that word before… Anyway, I think anything could have happened. She could have been kidnapped, she could have been murdered, she could have been… tickled. Anything! When you love someone, you worry about them – don't you?

Well, whatever, I got panicky – and that's yet another word I've never used before. So I went over to my Mom, and I ask her where Haiba is. She told me this: "Oh, Nala's at the water hole with her best friend. What's his name, Haiba?"

So then I get a bit suspicious. I mean, who wouldn't at this point? Haiba? Her best friend? I thought I was her best friend! Grr… Just thinking ab out that makes me mad!

But I think nothing of it. Maybe my Mom just means her best friend that's not in love with her. I mean, there are ab out a thousand other people Haiba is in love with – and most of them can't even talk back to him. How did I end up meeting such a strange guy? I guess that's what happens when you have such a wild, crazy life…

So, I think, Hey, at least Nala's okay. I guess I'd better go down to the water hole. So I do go down to the water hole, and to my relief, Nala is there. Hooray! She's fine. No damage done.

At least, there wasn't any damage done yet.

So I go over to Nala, and greet her with my standard kiss on the cheek. It always manages to make her giggle. And her giggle makes me chuckle. And that just leads to even more kisses…

But, romantics aside, I need to get on with this story. So this time, Nala doesn't giggle. Instead, she gets pretty mad. Certain things were said and certain people – mostly me – were insulted.

But to my surprise, she forgives me. Phew! I got worried for a second there. Haiba just gives me a look of sympathy. I find that quite odd, but for the moment, I ignore it. I have to find out what's got Nala all riled up.

And then I start to notice the changes. Like, the way I speak, the way I look, and the way I think. It all feels kinda… different. Like my whole personality has b een jumbled up and thrown all around the place.

So I decide to ask Nala why she got angry. She takes me behind a tree so we can talk privately, and then she explains to me something horrifying. Truly, truly horrifying.

She explains to me that she has a crush on Haiba, and that me kissing her has jeopardised her chances of getting together with him.

And that's just the beginning of the trouble.