Chapter 2
Gruntilda waited impatiently for her magic, tapping her foot, she had refused to work, L.O.G. didn't do anything about it either. She assumed it was because she could just make up for it when she apparently lost. But it wasn't going down that way, she had a plan. It was fool proof. Suddenly L.O.G. appeared, "okay Grunty. It's time." Gruntilda smiled, "it's about time!" He snapped his fingers and her grin grew as she felt her magic rush back to her, she laughed evilly. She whistled loudly and this time her broom actually came. It flew to her, she hopped onto it and flew right through one of the windows laughing evilly as glass fell to the floor with a loud shattering sound and clinking of glass hitting the ground. LOG glowered at the broken window, "that will be coming out of her paycheck." He sighed and walked off, gotta get things ready for Grunty's new job.
The night of the party came and Banjo Kazooie and Tootie were ready, they walked up Spiral Mountain to the top. When they reached the top of the mountain they stared in awe, "wow this is amazing!" Two large pumpkins carved into jack o' lanterns with a witch design on them were clearly Mingella and Blobbelda. Candles were in the pumpkins making them glow. The bridge had skeletons literally hung from the bridge with ropes around their necks holding them there in the air, the skeletons swayed slightly in the breeze, candles were propped on all the wooden stakes holding the bridge in place. They could hear the music playing inside the lair it was blaring.
"Well, are you all ready?" Tootie asked Banjo and Kazooie.
"Sure am, this looks like fun", Banjo said with a smile.
"Sure does, I'm going straight to the food, I'm starving!" Kazooie said.
"Hopefully we'll have time to catch up some more tonight", Tootie said.
"We'll have plenty of time for that, trust me it's gonna be a long night." Banjo said.
"Your right", she said and they all crossed the rickety bridge and walked into the lair, Banjo could feel the music vibrating his entire body.
Bottles came over and pat Banjo on the back, "hello there Banjo, you like the party?"
"KlUnGo LoVeS PaRtY!" Klungo yelled happily, he had glasses on.
"Oh hey, Klungo, what's your costume?" Banjo asked.
"KlUnGo PaIr Of GlAsSeS! "
"Oh….um….. Ok," he said.
"Klungo you're an idiot!" Kazooie said.
"Kazooie!"
"What? It's true!"
Tootie looked at him uncomfortably, most likely she still had hard feelings.
"Hey, I'm talking to you Banjo!" Bottles said getting annoyed.
"Oh, sorry, well it's certainly a full house." He looked about to see literally everyone from every Jinjo house to Donkey Kong and his crew. Donkey Kong was dressed as a banana along with his crew, the Jinjos had dressed like small animals from birds to domestic cats and dogs. Jamjars was dressed like a low class private, Humba Wumba was dressed as a mummy, fresh toilet paper clung to her body tightly. Mumbo had no costume for some reason.
"Hey, why doesn't Mumbo Dumbo have a costume on? Too poor?" Kazooie asked.
Bottles rolled his eyes, "according to him he is a costume."
"Well he kind of is I guess", Banjo said.
"Yeah well that's like you coming as a bear to the party, it's just lazy and doesn't count!" Tootie said.
"I should have done that, this costume is hot."
"I'd never speak to you again if you did." She said getting angry at him. Banjo looked around more, he spotted Captain Blubber dressed as Popeye the sailor man, Boggy was dressed as a green honey bear, however, the costume was way too small for him. Master JiggyWiggy was a Blue honey bear. And his disciple was Kazooie.
"Banjo I swear we need to get ourselves trademarked, this is ridiculous!"
"I'm surprised DK is here, Diddey I can understand, but why him? I haven't seen either one since the nineties."
"You sure do look impressed, I assume that means I did a good job."
"You did a-"
"GREAT GOING FOUR EYES!" Kazooie shouted happily.
Bottles gave her a dirty look, "thank you." He said half-heartedly.
"What are you dressed as exactly?" Banjo asked.
"Banjo, come on!" Kazooie said, scolding his ignorance.
"I'm judge Judy!" He said proudly, "I love her show."
"Why are you cross-dressing Bottles? Is this your way of coming out of the closet?"
"Why aren't you dressed as Banjo's backpack? It'd suit you better than a skeleton." He then walked away.
"What a jerk! As if I'd really dress as a backpack, so rude!"
"Why not? It really would suit you." He said to her.
"Don't you go starting too Banjo, that'd be a really stupid costume and you know it."
Banjo and DK stood near the punch bowl, "so I heard you got a new hit game."
"Oh yeah! I got a gig with Nintendo too, I'm gonna be as big as the fat man himself, maybe bigger!" He said confidently.
"Congrats I'm really happy for you."
"Well what about you Banjo, how've you and your birdie friend been fairing?"
"Well it's been really slow since Nuts and Bolts, but I don't really mind ya know? I like peace and quiet. I prefer sleeping and television to the latter."
"Well I don't mean to be rude but I think you may have gained a bit of weight there Banjo!"
"You should have seen him two weeks ago!" Kazooie said as she filled a cup with punch.
Dk laughed, "I'm glad I-"
"GRAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Everything went silent save for the blaring music.
"I'd recognize that cackle anywhere", Banjo said, dropping his cup.
"How could the hag even be here?! She's so annoying!" Kazooie shouted
"Oh No! MiStReSsSsSs IsSsS HeRe To BeAt KlUnGo!" He shouted in fear as he hid beneath the punch table.
DK shrugged, "maybe it was a false alarm, I mean nothing has happened ye-"
he stopped mid-sentence as a giant hole was blown through the opening, Gruntilda hovered in midair, "I'm crashing this party, hope you don't mind!"
"We definitely do Gruntilda, please go away!" Banjo said to her angrily.
Kazooie grabbed the backpack and hopped before getting onto Banjo's back, "Yeah get lost Wart brain!" Kazooie shouted at her angrily, extending her feathers in a threatening manner.
"Oh but the party has yet to have begun!" She shouted with another cackle, she waved her hands, purple magic surrounded her hands and she quickly shot it at all of them, screams filled the lair as they turned into their costumes.
"Oh my gosh, I'm a banana! LOOK AT ME!" DK screamed like a schoolgirl.
"Well, I'm a pile of bones!" Kazooie shot back at him. Her beak was all that could be seen inside the backpack.
"This is bad! Banjo shouted in fear, everyone screamed and freaked out at what she had done.
"Oh no, I don't know what to do, where's the sergeant?!" Jamjars shrieked as he was now a fresh recruit with no combat experience.
"OH MY GOSH I'M SO HAIRY AND UGLY AND I SMELL LIKE ...oh wait I still smell good", Tootie said happily, her tail wagging as she sniffed herself. She had turned into a big hairy werewolf, twice Banjo's original size. She was happy fate had been so kind to her.
"GET OUT OF MY COURTROOM HAG!" The now judge Judy yelled at Gruntilda.
"PleAsE dOn'T BeAt KlUnGo MiStErEsSsSs!" Klungo cried, he was just a tiny pair of glasses shaking on the ground.
Gruntilda snapped her fingers and the entire party changed to suit her. "COME ON EVERYONE LET'S BOOGIE!" As soon as she yelled this dozens of villains raced into the lair, Dracula, the Blob, and both of her sisters had come, and so did that one dino that stomped on Banjo and Kazooie had both feet come in from the roof. King K. Rule had arrived too and he brought bananas from DK's stash. Voldemort had come and Smaug had pushed his head in through the giant hole in the entrance.
"Weh!" Waluigi said happily as he let himself in.
Gruntilda grabbed him in her magic and tossed him out.
"Weh! I'm a villain too, let me in weh! It'll be like Mario party but without the Mario weh!"
Gruntilda glared at him, her face growing red with rage, "Mario party? Mario party?! MARIO PARTY?! THIS. IS. BANJO. KAZOOIE!" She then spartan kicked him off the edge to the mote below.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he plummeted to his impending doom.
"GRAAHAHAHAAHAHHHHA!"She laughed evilly, "hit it, Voldy baby!"
Voldemort started the music, he was the official DJ, he was dressed like a hipster, everyone was dancing. Gruntilda used her magic to force Banjo and all his friends to dance as well. "COME EVERYONE DO THE CONGA LINE!" She shouted happily. Voldemort put on shake senora and they all began the line against their will. Gruntilda led the dance as she laughed evilly.
"This is ridiculous. I hate dancing!" Banjo complained as he tried to stop but just couldn't.
"MY BANANAS! I NEED MY BANANAS!" DK screamed in terror as he watched his nemesis eating them while dancing in the line, a smug smile on his face.
"I DIDN'T TRAIN FOR THIS IN BOOT CAMP!" JamJars yelled in fear.
"NO DANCING IN MY COURTROOM!" Judge Judy yelled angrily.
"I'M GONNA PECK YOUR EYES OUT GRUNTY!" All of the original party-goers freaked as well.
Tootie was behind Gruntilda she had her hands on her butt. "OH MY GOSH, IT'S LIKE A DIRTY DIAPER! SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME!"
The song finally finished and Gruntilda let Banjo and said friends stop dancing, "lock these fools up and guard them well, at least until midnight arrives'', a dozen gruntlings grabbed their friends and dragged them away, "WAIT!" not Tootie, you, my little cutie patootie, will be coming with me, your beauty will soon be mine!"
"We'll see about that" she snarled and leaped at her claws extended and mouth open wide to bite her, however she was turned back into her original self and was grabbed up in her magic and carried her off.
"NO! NOOOO! BANJO HELP!" his sister screamed in fear as she struggled against the magic.
"I'M A PUMPKIN I CAN'T! I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT TOOTIE!" He called to her helplessly.
Voldemort played the monster mash and the ghouls and villains continued to dance.
Banjo and his friends were dragged down to the first level, none of them were too useful.
"GET OFF ME YOU FREAKS!"Kazooie shouted from the backpack she was in.
"Hey you guys are Banjos, do something!" Banjo said to them.
"We aren't you, we just look like you!"
"There's nothing we can do, and we're scared…"
"Yeah, sorry Banjo…"
"Useless!" Kazooie said.
"Kazooie!"
"SHUT UP!" The gruntling shouted at them angrily.
"SCREW YOU!"
"Let's hurry up and put them away, I want to dance!"
"Yes hurry me want to boogie too! Boogie man best person to boogie with!" They shook their butts as they walked, excited to get started out on the floor.
"You won't get away with this, it's completely illegal, I'm Judge Judy and I'll have you locked up for life for this!" She said angrily.
"YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY BANANAS BACK RIGHT NOW OR I'M GONNA CRY!" DK said on the verge of tears.
The gruntlings all laughed, "you funny ugly lady, Grunty back in power Grunty party for all- GAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed as he was shot down, all the gruntlings turned to find Mumbo. Before they could process what was going on Mumbo zapped them with offense spell after offensive spell quickly dispatching them with precision and grace. He took his wand and tapped the shackles on all of them, setting them free.
"Thank you Mumbo, you did really good." Banjo said appreciatively.
"Yes, thank you very much,'' said Master JiggyWiggy. "Sir, you truly are a gifted magic user!" Said his disciple. "Yeah, why don't you normally do this, or do it sooner?" Asked Kazooie. "Because, started Mumbo", as he used his magic to put Kazooie back together, the magic held her together she moved her legs and other bones and tripped and swayed. "Mumbo was hiding from Gruntilda entire time. Me smart , unlike you all, costume party bad idea from start." "HEY THAT WAS MY IDEA BUSTER!" Said Judge Judy. "Much better, although I'm having a hard time standing." Said Kazooie. "It because bird has no muscles to stand with, bird only on Mumbo's magic bird not used to standing on magic. Bird get used to it after while." "I don't understand, Hut boy." "Mumbo not care if bird understands, this way it is until Grunty's spell broken." "Fine, thanks, a lot, by the way, YOU FILTHY COWARD!" She screamed at him in a fit of rage. "Yeah, why didn't you help us?" Banjo asked. "Because Mumbo big fat coward", Wumba said with a look of disgust and shame on her mummy face. "MY BANANAS! YOU COULD HAVE SAVED THEM!" "DOING NOTHING IS PART OF THE PROBLEM, GUILTY AS CHARGED!" "Mumbo can't beat Grunty, Grunty too strong for Mumbo. Mumbo smart that's why Mumbo able to save you ingrates." He spat at them. "Mumbo will use weak magic to make Wumba not smell like a corpse. Mumbo do it now." Wumba ordered him. "Mumbo want sandwich first." Wumba glared at him fiercely, "Wumba not Mumbo's Mummy!" Kazooie suddenly pecked Wumba so hard her head fell off, Kazooie fell to the ground afterward and struggled to get up. Mumbo took out his iPhone and called Brentilda, it rang a bit before picking up. "Hey Mumbo, WASSUP BABY!" Music blared from the background. "Brentilda, is that Monster Mash playing in background?" "Yeah, I'm in the castle and know everything, I'll help you all, but not right now I'm too busy PARTYING WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Brentilda please we need help now, Mumbo can't break Grunty's curse on Mumbo's own! Mumbo need your help and we only have until midnight tonight before-" "I know, I know, I will, BUT FIRST I'M GONNA DO SOME APPLE DUNKING BABY HELL YEAH!" She then hung up. "How did it go Mumbo?" Banjo asked. Mumbo gave a heavy sigh, "she little busy but she show up as soon as she can, right now we all must hurry." "Well, where are we going to go? We're trapped in front of world one and can't get out, the party is in the main hall!" Kazooie said. Mumbo stroked his bony chin, "bird have point, but Mumbo has idea." "Is it a good one?" She asked. "Shut Up bird have no choice if she wants to beat Grunty." He then made a circle with his staff three times, a blue line appeared behind the staff as it circled and after the third circle a portal opened up. "Quickly follow Mumbo everyone!" "Not like we have a choice", Kazooie complained as she and the others went in.
Gruntilda cheered as her sister Brentilda dunked for apples, "GRAHAHA GOOD GOING SIS, I STILL HATE YOU!" "G-Grunty!" Gruntilda turned to find a gruntling before her, "hey there, having fun? You do have our guests locked up nicely right?" "Um… prisoners… escaped Grunty…. Me sorry! Please have mercy, me only survivor! Please let Gruntling party too!" "HECK NO GRAAAAA I SENTENCE YOU TO BE MARINATED IN MY STINKY UNDERWEAR!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE GRUNTY HAVE MERCY!" "You'll make for a good bowl of punch, maybe as a bowl of punch you won't be such a failure!" "NO! NO! PLEASE MERCY! MERHERCYYYYYYY!" The poor gruntling screamed as it was dragged off to its execution. "It seems I'll need to have someone… more reliable dispose of them." She said to herself, she pushed through the crowd to find the Horned King flirting with Medusa. "You know, even though you turn people into stone with your looks, I find you quite attractive". Medusa smiled at him, "oh you do not know how long it has been since I've been hit on big boy, she said with a seductive tone." The Horned King smiled knowing he was going to get some tonight. "Horny!" The Horned King turned to find Gruntilda and bowed in respect, "Grunty my dear, this party is simply amazing if I do say so myself." "I know it is, I am the host! But look, I need you to do something for me." "Anything for you my dear." "The bear and his stupid friends somehow got away from my useless gruntlings! KILL THEM ALL!" The Horned King nodded, "it would be my honor Guntilda, consider it done." He turned to Medusa, "I'll be back my darling." "I'll be waiting for you,'' she said, biting her lip and pushing a strap of her dress down for him. He smiled, licking his lips and walked off to do his said job.