Frayed Knots

by FountainPenguin

"It's not my problem if you're embarrassed, Anti-Cosmo," H.P. said as I hugged my shoulders. He scratched his chin. "Hm. I suppose there's no help for it. If you honestly and truly want to wear a hat, then you'll have to secure a high position of power so no one ever dares to say anything about it that's negative in the least." (Written August 2016 - Ongoing)

24. The Bar Code

A/N - When Julius lists the twenty animal families honored by Anti-Fairies, assume the twenty animals are prehistoric creatures, but they're presented as modern animals for the reader's benefit. I decided to have mercy on you all.

(Posted January 22, 2019)

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The Bar Code

In which Lohai bears her candles in the Year of the Crippled Tern, and Julius comes of age

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They'd nearly finished with the motions, but not her needs. With a primal lunge, Amarilla pressed her lips to his- this time longer, deeper. And when they touched, she understood everything. A volcano of words and algorithms exploded for a wingbeat, and then as they shifted and she leaned in further, she tasted technical terms from old court cases. Around them she detected the creak of wood, the settling of stone, and they shared magic without hesitations or barriers. All of this smothered her until after an eternity she fell gasping out of it, and was left to cling to the blankets, shivering beside the pixie as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Oh," he said simply.

Yes. Oh, indeed. And she knew then and there in that dinky apartment room that Rhoswen syndrome was real, that Cupid preferred to tip his arrows in cruelty, not desire, and she would never be satisfied with an overly cheerful and free-spirited Fairy again.

"You know," she said after a moment of lying with him, "I never even got your name."

He was already buttoning his [trousers] up again. "'Mister' will do. The Head Pixie named us all 'Mister.'"

"But what if I want to see you again?" Amarilla whimpered. "You all look alike. How will I know?"

After a moment's pause, he brought her wing to his teeth. "You'll know because of this."

And then, reader, he notched her wings. She thought the pattern beautiful- intricate as yarn. He worked his way along her costa, obviously familiar with how to move his teeth, and when one wing was done she switched to the other, and then he pulled the apexes of his own towards his mouth, and notched those too…

"Yes," Amarilla whispered. "I'll know you now."

He walked her to the edge of the woods, because the Head Pixie's rules were law, and that was as far as he was allowed to go at this time of eve. He shook her hand rather than kissing her farewell. They parted ways there, and every night for centuries naive Amarilla sought him out at midsummer festivals and New Year celebrations, trying to sort her pixie out from among a thousand others, but she never found him again…

I leaned back in the library chair, holding the book to my chest with its pages still pinned open with a claw. "Oh, that's a lovely ending, isn't it, Jasmine? Say what you will about Ivorie and the exaggerated accents she gives her Anti-Fairies, but she writes the finest pixie characters in all the cloudlands. I especially liked this one… She put a twist on the usual image of a stiff and prudish pixie by making him curious and experimental. Given how popular she is with the older crowd, I wouldn't be surprised if that archetype catches on, hm?"

Jasmine stretched on my lap, uncurling her tongue when she yawned. Her tail flipped in a lazy way, and her toes came apart when she reached her forelegs out. "Mm… I do enjoy it when you read romance novels. Your emotions taste so pleasant, it almost puts me in the mood to find a lover of my own."

"It does, doesn't it? Maybe it's time I gave her Anti-Fairy tales another try… Or perhaps I could try my own hand at this writing game. Yes, I might enjoy that immensely!"

Closing the book, I returned it to Anti-Elina's private shelf in the third-floor reading room and flew back to my study. We were sixteen days into the New Year, and I was expecting Lohai's candles any day. I checked in on her, but all was silent in her terrarium. I turned instead to my desk, where I drew out a fresh scroll and a new bottle of ink. When I sat, Jasmine sprang into my lap and curled up again, tail tip curled above her nose. I thus began to write my first story to ever grace parchment.

His name was Anti-Lumire, hers was Anti-Spark, and they were greatly in love even though their colonies were rivals who argued constantly over the same river. Their first night together happened near a small pond. They roosted in a milbark tree which overlooked the sparkling water. The plan had been sociosexual behaviour to soothe ruffled feelings about this river that their colonies argued over. Neither of them had expected it to progress to courtship, yet here they were.

Anti-Lumire kissed Anti-Spark once, then again, and then some more. She also kissed him, and took off his shirt (which was very difficult because of his wings) and he kissed her again. She laughed and kissed him too. They continued kissing as they removed the rest of their clothes, and he sang to her beneath the stars by that very river which had brought them together in the first place.

I held the small scroll up to stare at for a moment, then sighed and crumpled it into a ball. I tossed it over my shoulder, where it landed in my rubbish bin beneath my latest painting of Anti-Fergus' rustic cabin (its door repaired, the porch mended), which featured a peryton buck in the foreground and Dragondrool Mountain in the rear. My face dropped into my hands.

"How dreadfully uninspiring. If only I knew how to tell a story that could draw a reader in and steal the mind away. Alas, I passed my younger years painting places literally anyone can poof over and visit in a wingbeat's time. Even Ilisa left the majority of Origin of the Will o' the Wisps for Henry Bates to tell. Now that's a lark. I couldn't even write my own history in an engaging way. How pathetic is that?"

Crossing my arms tight, I pushed my chair back on two legs and stared at the painting of the cabin for a long while. Sometimes I enjoyed crafting places from my imagination. Perhaps I'd visited them in my Ilisa years, or perhaps I'd invented them all. Either way, as I painted, I liked to create stories in my head. I imagined drakes who wooed damsels beneath the ulk trees, or children who splashed about in the river. But when I painted, their stories were only that. Ideas. Glimpses. Stillness. Not something multifaceted and alive, something people discussed in reading clubs and wrote secret stories about to trade with their classmates at school, something that touched people for years instead of days…

"Ach," I muttered to myself, dropping the chair back on all fours. "If only I could write a romantic tale that would last forever. I think I'd be happy then."

"Don't sell yourself short, Julius. You have so many other talents."

"Yes. Painting… Perhaps I'll just have to live my fantasies in person instead of writing them down. I do hope I come into my adulthood sooner rather than later. I hate to keep Mona waiting long." I stared at the painting for another moment, then opened one of the drawers in my desk to examine the sperm and eggs from long ago, still encased in their frozen bubble. I tapped a claw against my teeth. "I must admit, I surprise even myself with my restraint. It won't be long now before I can produce the proper frequency of magic to fertilise this humble Fairy child. Of course I'll need a surrogate parent to place it in… I have one in mind, and I think he shan't refuse."

Jasmine yawned again. "Congratulations. Fatherhood has been so long in coming, so this time of your life must be very exciting for you. What will your new dream be once you become one?"

"I…" I pressed one finger to my lips. "I don't know. I've spent my entire life waiting anxiously to grow up so I might raise pups of my own. While they sleep for the night, or once they grow up… I don't know then what I'll do with myself. Oh my smoke." My hands went for my hair. "I don't know."

"You'll find something that calls to you," Jasmine told me kindly, resting her paw against my stomach.

"But suppose I don't! Suppose I never do! Suppose I live the rest of my life in lethargic boredom like a dairy yale chewing cud!"

"You'll find something," she insisted, though I wasn't sure. An hour passed in silence while I sat and stroked her fur with gentle hands.

I'm going to have a drab rest of my life, aren't I? I turned my head towards the door, thinking of Mona, who was away this month visiting her mums at her birth colony. I pursed my lips. She'll be a wonderful mother, so patient with our pups, prompt and passionate with play, and… precipitately predictable. That's it, then. No more research. No more plans and dreams. No more mysteries. No more thrills. Everything will turn out exactly the way I've planned it, and I'll be caged in the same routine of changing nappies and exchanging Mona's nonexperimental kisses forever. Once I get everything I ever wanted… I won't be happy anymore.

Where was the fun in that?

I stood suddenly, sending Jasmine flopping to the floor with a yelp. "I'm going to do something completely different today."

Jasmine scrambled onto my seat with little dignity, her fur kinked at all angles. "Such as?"

"Do you know that old shed up the hill no one uses anymore? Small, rusted metal?" I made the shape of its rounded roof with my hands. "Well, I'm going to fly up there and summon a full-fledged demon to melt it."

She whipped her head around. "What for?"

"Because I'm terribly bored, and that should be wildly fun, don't you think?"

"But-"

"Jasmine, please." I was already slinging on my coat. "I'll have plenty of water on hand to put out any sparks the demon brings. As I said, no one uses it anymore. No one will even miss it. And I'll ensure it's cleared out first, so there's no danger of it spreading or anyone getting hurt. Now, help me find a few items to channel Sky energy. We'll want plenty of that if we plan to call a Fire demon to counter it."

She relented, but insisted on coming along, so I allowed her to wrap her forelegs around my shoulder with her lower half dangling behind. In the shed, I broke a silver-backed mirror upon the floor, charged a rug I wouldn't miss with the static build-up of Jasmine's fur, and spilled an overabundance of salt to top it all off. The power backlash sent me crashing against the battered door. My wand rattled in my hand. I cracked open a direct doorway to pocketspace, and a grown, solid, ink-black demon with the low-riding body of a reptile and the head of a goat slithered through. Its twisted horns raked the air as it swung its neck from side to side.

"Oh, you're gorgeous," I cried, springing back to my feet. I dusted my coat down with a rapid hand, never lowering my wand. Jasmine clung more tightly to my neck. "Now then, to business! Bring us fire, oh Saturn! Grant me your power and unleash the blaze!"

The demon threw back its head, forelegs kicking, and bayed. Sparks snorted from its nostrils. Jasmine's forelegs squeezed. Together, we watched the shed melt to the ground, and laughed and clapped together, or at least I did, before I released the demon back to where it had come. Then I heated a kettle over the flames. Now that was much more fun than painting!

Two days after I had my fun with the shed, I returned to my study and found my ears assaulted with pathetic mewling sounds. I pricked up. Shutting the door behind Jasmine, I flew to peer inside Lohai's glass bin. It had a mesh roof, because you can put genies inside boxes with holes in their lids so long as the holes are too small for the genie to leave with their natural body. Sure enough, my darling rose had crawled out from under the quilt to wait for me. She sat with her shoulders back, a look of pride upon her face. When I came over, she disappeared beneath the quilt, then returned with a single candle in her arms. This, she held up to me. The indigo-tailed baby had a few curls of purple hair, and blinked its blind eyes unhappily. As it squirmed, it mewled again.

"Lohai," I said when I found my voice. I pressed my fingers to my cheek. "Oh, your candle is lovely, darling. How many are there?"

"Oooone," she said, unconvincingly. Holding the indigo baby to her chest, she took up a defensive position between me and the quilt, and warily regarded me.

"Mm… It's awfully noisy in there for one candle, isn't it?"

The squeaks and mewls rose in pitch beneath the blanket as the other candles struggled to find their mother. Lohai lowered her baby to a shallow scoop she'd dug in the dirt and coals. "I suppose there might be more… I'll check. I can show them to you, Papa. But you can't steal them away."

"Of course not, darling."

Lohai watched me for a few seconds more, then flicked beneath the quilt. She carried her candles out one at a time, laying each of them in the scoop and always checking my reaction before she went to get the next. At last, she sat down in the scoop herself and wrapped her tail loosely around her babies. Nearly a dozen blind doughy blobs with wispy tails in various shades between rose and purple rubbed at her stiff belly, prodding and whining. I bit my bottom lip when I noticed one of them was so pale pink, it could easily be considered white. Lohai kept particular attention on that one.

"Eight," I breathed. "Itty bitty little stripes like string… I always did like string. Fine work, Lohai. Good for you."

Her shoulders squirmed. "Julius, I don't know what to do next."

"Feed them, I think."

"Feed them what?"

"Er… Probably milk." A sudden realisation slapped across my face. I'd mothered hundreds, if not thousands, of children when I was Ilisa. And yet I'd only ever nursed nine of them. Enling. Fennel. Lyrica. Taggert. Jan. Rupert. Kace. Leander.

I placed one hand atop the bin's mesh lid the same moment Jasmine came closer to see what the fuss was about, but Lohai bared her teeth. "Don't touch them! I love them."

My hand paused. Lohai tightened her tail's coil, yanking the candles against her stomach. She hunkered over them.

"Away, Papa! Cat! In the Nest, I was warned that first-time genie mothers often lose many of their litter before weaning. Your skin is cold and I don't want to take any risks. Not yet."

In reluctant agreement, I lowered my hand to my lap. Jasmine tactfully withdrew to my desk chair and began to groom her whiskers (muttering "Cat sith" behind her paw). "Let's see now. We'll need to keep you lot plenty warm. And the candles will have an easier time keeping their temperature up if we leave them all together for now… Of course, eventually they will need to be separated."

Lohai nudged one of the outer candles closer to her stomach, resting her hand on his sticking-up rear. "How long until you move them to their own lamps?"

"Mm… Nine months is advisable."

"Oh." Lohai's head drooped. Her tail tightened further. "But I love them."

"They can visit sometimes. But for their physical and mental health, they ought to be given their own space." I cleared my throat. "We don't want them… hurting one another." Or breeding one another once they were grown.

She studied the candles nuzzling blindly at her belly, and slowly settled down to suckle them. I watched her carefully. In the wild, genie mothers were incredibly vulnerable. The early part of their pregnancy was spent roaming in search of food and water, which would aid their milk production during the sluggish lactating years (with light always being their main source of energy). Towards the end of pregnancy, a doe sought a secluded location to birth her litter, such as a large knothole high in a tree, beneath a warm house, or, well… inside a lamp. There she would stay, seeking no food for herself, and keeping watch for predators as her magic slowly returned. Within a month, her candles would have the strength and curiosity to venture from the nest, though they would return to nurse until their mother regained her strength. After that, well… depending on the size of the genie population in the area, it might not be long before another male took interest in her. The more difficult challenge was keeping him from casually killing all her baby bucks.

"About that white-tail you have there," I began.

"Sick," Lohai muttered.

"No. I'm sure that between the two of us, we'll save it. When would you like to give them names?"

She remained silent for a moment, her eyes closed. "I like Foop," she finally said.

"Foop?" Of course I'd heard the word used for the star-pelted wolves who had once roamed Mars alongside her people in days long ago, but never for a genie. "That's… a very fine name. I like it. Which one is Foop, then?"

"The indigo with the purple hair," she murmured, the tip of her tail wrapping around her white-tailed candle. "Leave me now… I'm resting."

"All right, Lohai." I stood, gazing down at the string-like blobs fighting over her teats… and my core ached.

In a few years, I turn 150,000. To Anti-Fairies this marks adulthood, but to a genie or a Fairy, my mentality would still be considered childish… I'm so young, aren't I, yet always pining my time away in anticipation of becoming a father. Maybe someday, you and I shall raise our offspring side by side, my dear… or perhaps I shall raise mine alongside your children… or your grandchildren.

My eyes stung at the possibility of mourning the doe I'd raised while I was hardly in the prime of my life. Yet such things were our fate. And they were decided. Even with all our magic, we were powerless to change that.

… Or at least that's what the Fairies had told us. After the lies we'd been fed regarding Anti-Fairy reproduction and the inevitability of the honey-lock, who knew what else they were hiding?

That same evening, I was called down with the other drakes of my creche to be given the talk regarding Anti-Fairy adulthood. Anti-Buster met us in the juvenile roosting room, and the damsels gathered with Anti-Elina downstairs. I clung to my perch on one of the array's lower branches, between Ashley and Electro, snuggled in my wings like a caterpillar in a cocoon. We first discussed the nature of the honey-lock (Read it), then the Anti-Fairy reproductive system (Mastered that), the importance of song (Not my strongest point), and dangers of karma drinking and kiff-tying before we were older and specifically trained to do it safely (Not my cup of tea anyway), and finally the history of our people in the first place. I perked up.

"I can tell the story of Evadne and Ione, Anti-Buster!"

He glanced at me, then fluttered his hand in my direction. "As you wish, sir."

Rustling my wings, I said, "Evadne and Ione were two ancient lovers of different genera - Evadne an early ancestor of modern Refracts known as a Trooping Fae, Ione an early Solitary Fae - who could not pair to express their love. A dear tragedy! Centuries passed in this way, and in their lovesick desperation, they tricked the zodiac spirits into revealing the power of the kiff-tie. At last they could bond as the spirits do, with one soul wielding whole control of the other's body… But Dayfry took offense at what he interpreted as lustful greed, and struck all fae from Plane 23 because of it."

Smiling ruefully, I spread my hands. "And here we are now. Once in the lower levels of the cloudlands, our ancestors mingled with the native peoples there. The chimera were an advanced race, of course, and built many of the ancient castles that still litter our world today, particularly in the Hush World. Ruins now. As is proper for our people, our families honour the animal forms our early ancestors took, and we humbly choose to limit the forms we shapeshift into to prove we haven't forgotten our roots."

"Thank you, sir. You've summed it up quite nicely. To this day-"

"Of course, with so many generations separating us from our ancestors, maintaining perfect genealogies would be impossible, and so these days, we've settled into a simpler system: Through Anti-Shylinda's journal, we have written record of twenty chimera known to have watched over early Domestic Fae who settled the area, as well as the Solitary Fae who lived on with the Domestics. We call those chimera families 'caretaker spirits' now, and at birth every pup is presented with two paths to follow - the spirit of his mother's line, or the spirit of his father's - which in turn determines which family name he takes upon himself."

"… Yes, thank you, Julius. As far as we know-"

"Those twenty animals are, of course, the hound, the fox, the bison, the rhino, the vulture, the crow, the otter, the badger, the rat, the salamander, the crockeroo, the hog, the monkey, the cricket, the cobra, the goat, the moose, the armadillo, the penguin, and the swan." I offered a modest wave of my hand before tucking it beneath my arm again, toes shifting along my roosting branch. "I'm descended from Her Glory Cadmea, the Teumessian Fox who balances Laelaps, who is of course the caretaker of the Anti-Coppertalon line."

Anti-Buster fixed me with a steady gaze. "Thank you, Julius."

"No trouble at all, Anti-Buster. Glad I could be of assistance."

He exhaled and turned away. "Julius is correct. Even now, we honour the chimeras who gave the ancient fae food and shelter in the early days. Anti-Shylinda named several of these ancestral families in her journal, but only three surnames have survived until today. We of course exclude the Anti-Coppertalons, who took their name from Anti-Shylinda herself, and the von Strangle family, seeing as their line swore allegiance to the Fairy Elder, and took their family name from her. Would someone care to name these three direct lines?"

"Fernfire, Whimsifinado, and Sparklefield," I recited. Anti-Buster glanced at me again.

"That's correct, but it's more respectful to raise your hand than to blurt your answers out, sir."

"My apologies, General."

After the meeting, I was returning to my study to get a book for Ashley when I realised my door was open. Jasmine shot from the room in a blur, but Ashley was faster. He stuck out his foot and tripped her. She went sprawling and crashed in a heap at Mona's feet.

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH?" I shrieked, every tuft of fur bushing in spines.

Jasmine winced, her own fear response flaring in parallel as my mood overwhelmed her senses. Setting the white-tailed candle between her forepaws, she said, "I am your emotion-reading companion second, a cat sith first. It's my job to carry souls to the afterlife, Julius."

"Give her back." I came towards her. Jasmine slunk to one side, crouched low.

"The white-tails always die young. You're only delaying the inevitable."

"I can save her. Give her back."

Jasmine twitched her whiskers, but didn't reply.

"Julius," Mona murmured. When I crouched down, she crouched beside me. "If you don't trust her knowledge, trust mine. And trust yours. We did our research on genies together. You know white-tails don't make it."

"No one's ever cared about genies as much as I have before." I withdrew my demon-handling gloves from an inside pocket of my coat and slipped them on. Everyone said that genies were fragile, and contact with Anti-Fairy body heat (or the lack thereof) was liable to end their lives at once. But I would be careful. I would do this right.

The candle squirmed in my hand, blindly feeling for food. I entered my study alone, and forbade Jasmine from following. She sat outside my door, grooming her ears and pretending that had been her plan all along.

"Lohai?" I asked, peering into her terrarium. My sharp ears could pick up the sound of a tail brushing over dirt. The quilt obscured my view. With one hand, moving slowly, I blocked the bottom of my door with books. The energy field tingled across my fur. I pried the lid from Lohai's bin and reached in to remove the quilt. She whined a low note, like a growl. My darling was small, as she would be until she crossed the invisible barrier between the inside of her lamp to the rest of the room. She rested on her side, very still and quiet, while her candles strained for their turn to suckle at her breasts. I counted them silently. Seven. The white-tail made eight.

"Oh, Lohai… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry… I shan't allow Jasmine in here without me anymore. I won't let her from my sight again. Ooh, the nerve of her, tearing babies from their mother! I ought to have her crown for that, and I should twist her wings for good measure."

When my voice grew louder, the candles squeaked with fright and curled their tails. I bit my tongue. Lohai struggled to raise her head. "Hhh… The milk-thief?"

"Shh, the cat sith won't bother you anymore. It's all right. I saved her, Lohai."

She groaned and lay herself down again. "Take it away, Papa. I can't… I don't have enough milk. It's a worm, and it's sick."

"What?" I asked, recoiling. I held the candle with both hands, though she easily fit in one. "Lohai, she's your daughter."

"It's a curse come to steal my milk. Take it away and let me alone with the children who can be saved."

I thought for a moment, then opened my forehead dome. Finding the pocket that represented the inner part of my core took a moment of searching, but the child slipped inside easily enough, just as her grandmother Liloei had done thousands of years ago. That would do for now. I'd bottle-feed her later. First, I'd deal with Jasmine.

"Hmm," Anti-Lance said when I described the mess to him a few days later (Anti-Lance was Noon's adult name, for he'd had his ceremony a few cycles ago). I'd left Lohai and the other candles in Mona's care for the evening so I might pinpoint and visit the Anti-Sundive colony. At the moment, Anti-Lance and I were skimming over the shiny black river that wound through Sablewood Canyon, chasing sprites and tiny fish.

"Is that all?" I asked, swooping above him. After I'd sent out a beam of sonar, I pressed, "What do you suppose I ought to do? I'm in love with the candles already, but Lohai won't let me near them, apart from Fade. She lives in constant paranoia that I'll steal her children while she sleeps."

Anti-Lance dipped his claws into the river, but missed the fish he'd been aiming for. "I suppose she needs her space."

"But I don't want to give her space!"

"It's her security." He pinged his sonar off the canyon wall a bit too near my head. "Everyone needs their space."

I burned. Above me, a pair of sprites jeered and blew their tongues. I swerved to catch them, but they darted away with ease. I grazed my stomach across the rock wall, and decided to cling on for a moment to stew in my thoughts. Anti-Lance noticed. With incredible elegance, he performed an overhead loop and caught both sprites in his mouth. When he flew to me, he offered me first pick. I took one from his teeth with mine, but the treat didn't lift my spirits.

"Mm… I've just waited so long to raise offspring that feel like my own, you know what I mean? She's pushing me away from my dreams. Ooh, can you believe her? She doesn't even care for her own child! Doesn't she realise I'd trade anything to bear offspring of my own? Hmph… At least I have Fade. Perhaps Fade shall respect me if she ever chooses to breed."

Anti-Lance flicked the sprite wings from his mouth to his palm. "Have you asked your betrothed why people say the white-tails always die? She's been studying animals since the day her body met smoke, hasn't she?"

"I'll have you know I am equally as knowledgeable as she is when it comes to studying genies, but to answer your question, yes. Mona described white-tails as lacking growth tissue, and has already informed me numerous times that there exists a similar condition among Rhymepyes and the other lagomorph races. At times, it would seem their kits are born undeveloped compared to the rest of their litter. They're known as 'peanuts.'" I rolled my eyes.

"And… the peanuts always die?"

"So it would seem, but Fade is holding on." So saying, I lifted my dome to show him. But all I pulled from my forehead chamber was a small heap of ashes, which clung to my fingertips for days.

… Well.

As the 150,000th year since my birth drew near, my older crechemates began taking on their adult names until my head spun. Electro became Anti-Julian (That's Anti-Julian with a gentle "Hoo" sound at the beginning of the word, in place of the "Juh" I was familiar with myself), and Harold became Anti-Edmin (and never did give up his favourite hat, which matched his robes very well but constantly flopped forward into his eyes). In friendly little groups, my peers broke off to have their coming of age ceremonies. I attended each one I was invited to, smiling through them even when it was obvious I had been the final absentminded pick. But as the Water year drew on, and my own littermates began organizing their ceremonies, sudden panic overtook my thoughts.

"Suppose Mother forbids me from having a traditional one!"

"She won't forbid it," Anti-Kanin assured me. "You can't not have a ceremony."

Biting my lip, I whimpered, "Suppose th- she whips my little fluffy tail when she finds out I want this. Is it too much? Perhaps we have the modern ceremony for a reason."

"Just ask her," he coaxed. "If she lifts a claw against you, I'll take her on myself."

"The once-greatest warrior in the cloudlands? I think not."

So that night, I decided to try. I wasn't yet permitted in the adult roosting room, so I caught my mum in the corridor just outside it instead.

"Mother, I wanted to ask you if-"

"Be quick," they grumbled, running both hands down their dress. "You know I don't like you bothering me."

I swallowed and smoothed my ears. "I- I'm 150,000 years old. I was wondering… Instead of the modern practice, may I have a traditional coming-of-age ceremony?"

They looked at me as though they expected dragons to sprout from my ears. "Gracious, you honestly expect the High Count and Countess to waste our colony's funds so you can feel pretty for a night?" If they'd had their staff, they likely would have smacked me. "For Rhoswen's sake, child, you're such a wasteful goat. You don't need any ceremony at all to become an adult."

My jaw dropped. "No ceremony whatsoever? But all my friends have had-"

"Then perhaps you should ask their parents to contribute the funds. I'm certainly not in a position to make demands of our gracious creche father."

"Anti-Florensa?" Anti-Bryndin called on cue from just inside the adult roosting room. He appeared in the doorway, shirt off but scarf on. He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe and folded his arms. "Will you finish this chatter soon?"

My mother's hand went instantly to my chest. They pushed me behind them, and I realised for the first time that their tail was loose. It swished low like a timid shadow. I blinked. I'd never seen their tail before, but it was black and tremendously bushy, just like a fox's. "M-my son was just leaving, High Count."

"High Count," I tried, squirming past then, "I wanted to ask if I might have a-"

My mum curled their claws into my chest, and I winced as they sunk through my scraggly fur and scratched my scales. "They were just leaving."

Anti-Bryndin eyed me curiously for a long moment, while I held my tongue and quickly bowed my head. "Do you know of Winslow?" he asked.

"Er… Prince Winslow? Your son? Yes, of course I know him. He lives here, after all, and he'll be an adult in two years' time."

"Yes, I think. He is a good boy, and soon to be High Count. You are interesting, Julius, and a Water year to his Soil… When you are both adults, I wonder if perhaps you would let him taste of your karma, with you as his first."

My mum inhaled. I blinked. Winslow was the quiet sort, with the harshest and most nasally voice one could imagine. From what Mona had told me, he'd been presented with a Water ring during his betrothal, but hadn't found himself a match. Unusual for the heir to such a high position of power, one might think, but nonetheless, it was true. In the last seven years, I'd perhaps heard him speak four words. Winslow had been snivelling and scrawny since forever, and… let's simply say that he wasn't quite my type.

Then again… I made rapid calculation of the situation's pros and cons. If the High Count was personally inviting me to pleasure his son someday, that was a good sign I held his favour. Mona had cautioned me that if I didn't leave on my own terms, Anti-Bryndin would shake me from the colony soon enough. Unless Winslow intended to offer me the position of his follower drake, and I became Anti-Buster's heir… Hmm. First General Anti-Cosmo did have a lovely ring to it.

Or if a wedding were to one day come out of this…

You would be next in line for the High Count seat.

Well, if I married a drake then I would become High Countess, actually, but the positions were legally equal and the titles a mere means of distinguishing between them, regardless of one's sex. I chewed on the inside of my cheek a moment, then let it go.

"Ah… The offer is appreciated, High Count. I'm honoured you would suggest the matter, and I'll consider it more when he and I are both a mite older."

Anti-Bryndin nodded once and disappeared back inside the roosting room. My mother followed more slowly, pulling at the hem of their dress. I sighed. When I returned to my study, Anti-Kanin, Anti-Julian, Anti-Tanner, Anti-Harold, Ashley, and Anti-Russell were all waiting for me.

"She said no," I told them, choosing to refer to my mother in the feminine rather than plural way. My friends didn't yet know of the wind spirit tangled in their head… Mother tended to not like that information getting out.

"Your mamá's the worst," Anti-Julian said. Anti-Kanin tsk tsked and clapped his hand to my shoulder.

"Chin up, skipper. We'll make sure ye get a proper ceremony. We'll sneak out."

I smiled up at him, although it was forced. "Thank you, Anti-Kanin. I appreciate it."

So we arranged our plan. We would each gather a few ceremonial things and fly to a hidden cave tucked high in the cliffs which surrounded Luna's Landing. I'd been there once before when I was younger, obediently following my friends as we snuck out to spy on Anti-Kanin and his former drakefriend. Oh, we teased him mercilessly when he suggested the place today, but he maintained an even expression throughout it all, even rolling his eyes in good humour.

"'Tis a nice wee cave," he gruffly said. "Yer mum won't find us there. Besides that, when you look down upon Luna's Landing and its streets of glowing crystal… Smoke me, but you won't find a better sight in all the cloudlands."

A few nights later, long after my crechemates had trickled into sleep, my older friends appeared at the door to the juvenile roosting room and beckoned for me to join in. Ashley was already with them. "Mm?" Mona murmured as I uncurled myself from around her. I froze on the roost, but nonetheless, she opened one eye and yawned. "Julius? Where are you off to?"

I cupped her cheek in my hand and kissed the tip of her nose. "Worry not, my pet. I shall return to you an adult, bearing my honourable name."

"I love you," she murmured, and I slipped from the room while she drifted back to sleep. My friends in turn embraced me in their playfully rough hugs, and then Anti-Kanin handed me a turquoise coloured cloth. It resembled a skirt, but was composed from three overlapping pieces stitched crudely together. A simple rope made up the waistband.

"Strip down and put this on," he ordered.

"Bachelor colony wear?" I asked, but took it anyway. The cloth was wool, incredibly soft instead of rough. There was something familiar about it, something that felt like home, but I couldn't place my claw on exactly what it was.

"You wanted a traditional ceremony."

"So I did." I dressed as instructed, noticing then that each of my friends wore a cloth the colour of their own zodiac already. My pyjamas and monocle were left in the roosting room. I paused. "Wait. I want to bring Jasmine and Lohai. They should be here for this."

The others gathered by the Castle's rear exit while I hurried to my study. Jasmine sat at attention outside my door, staring up at its handle. I slipped past her, keeping her firmly out, and blocked the bottom with my books again.

"Lohai?"

When I turned around, I noticed she was already awake. She sat in her terrarium, hunched over, nudging her hand through several clumps of ashes. Only a single candle - Foop - remained sitting at her side.

"What hap-?"

"Sometimes they just die, Papa."

We exchanged looks, but no further words. I opened her box and held my arms out to her. Lohai embraced me. For a moment we held each other, before I lowered her carpet bag into her terrarium. She crawled in, Foop obediently after her, and I zipped them up. With a sigh, I left the study.

"May I take their souls?" Jasmine asked, rising to her paws.

"They're ash, Jasmine."

"Their souls will linger here without a guide."

"Ha…" I shook my head. "I suppose your kind do steal souls after all. Perhaps the Fairies were right about everything."

Her tail twitched at the tip. "Not everything. Coin sith herd souls to Plane 23, where they can rest themselves for a season in company of their dear departed. Cath palug guide the dead directly to their next incarnations. Lohai's children didn't survive as genies, so let me find them a form which suits them better."

I exhaled. "Go ahead."

She nodded and slipped inside my study. I didn't wait to watch her work, and instead hurried down to find my friends.

"Jasmine?" Anti-Edmin asked, eyeing me uncertainly. I shook my head.

"She didn't want to. Well… Tally-ho."

We fled the Castle before anyone knew we were gone. Oh, I'm sure the camarilla guard on duty spotted us flying off, but if so, that was an issue we would deal with in the morning. Away we flew above the forest, then above the crater where Luna's Landing lay nestled down for sleep, its pale streets deserted. Off in the distance, a single foop bayed at the moon. I couldn't help but feel exposed as we went, wearing nothing but the simple cloth about my loins, but the thrill of open air coursed throughout my blood and left me shivering. Long ago, my ancestors had dressed this way. In mirroring them now, I was keeping part of their ancient culture alive.

We pinpointed our cliffside cave with little trouble. To my delight, Anti-Lance was waiting there. I'd sent him a scry, but hadn't expected him to come. Anti-Kanin crawled inside first, pulling his wings in as tightly as they would go. "Smaller than I remember," he said from inside. "But we can smush."

"I'm not sitting next to you," Anti-Julian muttered to Ashley, who shrugged and vanished inside after Anti-Kanin. Anti-Tanner followed him.

"I like it," I said, landing on the rocky shelf just outside the opening. "It reminds me of my heritage- my granddad Anti-Gonzo experienced his first stroke exchange ceremony up here, you know, and as I recall, my mum and Anti-Bryndin spent their first night as a couple up here too. It only seems appropriate that the child of both their lines should use the place now. Now, just tell me what I need to do."

Anti-Kanin nodded towards the edge of the shelf. "We shave your head next. Sit down facing the city, and dangle your legs over the side so I have an easy angle, aye?"

Again, I did as I was told. But when he brought the knife to the back of my head, Anti-Kanin hesitated.

"Ah… Are ye sure you want me to do this, laddy? Ye've always had the most and the prettiest hair among the lot of us. Ain't a lot of folk flitting 'round with blue anymore."

I clenched my eyes tight, curling in my toes. My hands twisted against one another in my lap. "Yes. Cut it all. It's an ancient tradition for young drakes, and who am I to stand against it?"

"Besides," Anti-Tanner jumped in, "if he don't like it, he can always use magic to put it back."

Anti-Julian shoved his shoulder. "I think not, if he does not wish to be sacrilegious."

With a few swift cuts, Anti-Kanin lopped off the thick curls below my ears. He progressed upward, snipping some here and some there, while I pretended I cared less for my looks than I truly did. When he sheathed the knife, I reached up to touch the top of my head.

"Oh. How soft it is there, how… interesting. Is my scent gland coming in yet?"

"Not 'til after Fairy-Cosmo gets his adult wings. Be patient, matey."

"Mm. Pity."

I crawled inside the cave to join the others, all of us bumping elbows and knees as we scooted around. When we were settled, more or less, Anti-Julian cleared his throat.

"We pooled what money we had to buy the lavender and citrus vials, and half the salt we need, but we couldn't afford the wine, coconut butter, vanilla, poppy salve, or eucalyptus… so we brought vegetable oil, grape juice, and white chocolate."

"Yes, I suppose it's more difficult to purchase things without the whole colony's funds behind you," I said first, and then the second part of his sentence kicked in. I gasped, drawing my hands to my mouth. "Wait a moment. Did you say white chocolate?"

"Aye, melted to liquid. It was all we could-"

"Shh." I lay one claw against Anti-Kanin's lips. "No excuses now. It's perfect."

Ashley bobbed his head in agreement.

With my blessing, Anti-Kanin took the lead in the sacred ceremony, subbing the names of the more expensive ingredients for what we had. He poured liquid lavender into his hand and with two fingers, painted several spirals across my right palm. My wings trembled. Clearing his throat, he began to speak, voice low.

"Julius Anti-Cosmo, with this lavender I have given you the essence of Prince Friday's amethyst ring. Dayfry's grace is the gift of balance. May ye forever feel fulfilled when it comes to companionship. May you seek out friends as well as lovers, and surrender to your passions until you've been pleasured in full. I bless your hands, that so long as you balance your time with thought and care, they might serve you in exploring this beautiful world, and in reaching out to serve the people who occupy it alongside you in this day and age."

"I thank the spirits, and I accept Dayfry's grace."

From there Anti-Kanin progressed to my upper arm, changing the small bottle of liquid lavender out for the citrus oil. Once again, he traced intricate looping patterns across my fur until the entire vial was empty.

"Julius Anti-Cosmo, with this citrus I have given ye the essence of Prince Saturday's ruby brace. Saturn's grace is the gift of energy. May ye exercise freely and rest often, so you may always have the ability to pursue those things in life that delight and excite you. I bless your arms, that so long as you care for your body's health, ye might have fierce strength to conquer any challenge which stands in your way."

"I thank the spirits, and I accept Saturn's grace."

Then my bare chest: "With this chocolate, I have given you the essence of Prince Sunday's turquoise brooch. Sunnie's grace is the gift of focus. May ye be able to concentrate on your education, gain a passion for learning more than what is required of you, and always think of your colony first, rather than honing in on yourself and your struggles alone. I bless your breast, that so long as you remain honourable and uphold the codes and traditions of our people, ye might have the strength of mind and spirit to assert yourself and request all that you ever need…"

So it was, in seven places across my body- Ending, of course, in multiple markings across my forehead in honour of Thurmondo, who watched over intellect, would bless me with creativity and dexterous skill, and who was honoured by the jade tiara. Then each of my friends took a vial or two, and poured the oils over my head and upper body. They began to rub it into my fur, starting at my shoulders. All the while they chanted softly, "Julius. Julius. Julius. Julius."

"Anti-Cosmo," I murmured, bowing my head. I placed two hands to my breast, neither overlapping the other. The right to represent my primary counterpart, the left to represent my refract. "Anti-Cosmo. Anti-Cosmo. Anti-Cosmo…"

Their soft chants of "Julius" faded away. Silence fell. One by one, each of my friends came before me, took my face in gentle hands, and kissed my forehead with a soft press. "Anti-Cosmo," they whispered in turn, and my eyes began to water.

For the rest of my life, I was Anti-Cosmo. The only time I'd ever speak my private name again was on my wedding day, or presenting myself before the nature spirits.

I embraced Ashley, who soon enough would be having a ceremony of his own. He'd be Anti-Poof then- a name which I did not particularly like, but knew I'd have to adjust to using. "How do you feel?" he asked.

I smiled, bubbling over, and pressed my forehead to his. "Oh, delightfully grown up. Thank you, cousin."

"I wish our families could see us to adulthood."

I poked him fondly in the chest. "As I recall, you're your own mother reincarnated, are you not? So in a way, I suppose you will."

Ashley looked at me a moment, tipping his head to the side. "I'm sorry you have such issues with Anti-Florensa. She wasn't so harsh when we were juveniles… She played rough, yes, and wanted to tussle constantly and show up every drake she ever met, but… I wish I could have remained in my Anti-Joanie form for longer. I could have been like a mother to you."

"Well, now you're the finest cousin I can ask for. Let's not dwell on the could-have-beens and almost-weres."

Ceremonies complete, we lay back and rested for a time, sprawling across one another's near-bare bodies in the tiny crevice. We laughed, reminisced of our childhoods together, and assured one another of our mutual affections. True to my private promise, I didn't wait a moment longer than I had to before I practically threw myself in Anti-Kanin's lap and begged him to grant me his friendship in our culture's most ceremonial way.

See, now that I was legally an adult, I was permitted to play about in our tongue-piercing traditions first-hand. Anti-Kanin, gentle and kind, did not refuse my request. The experience was new and strange, with fewer sacred words than I had anticipated, but it wasn't Anti-Kanin's first time offering his favour, and he was able to hold my head steady and guide me through the process. I inhaled every juicy moment of it. The ceremony consisted of two roles: that of a superior, and that of a subordinate. Having enjoyed being on my end immensely, I wondered what more there could be to look forward to, when it was my turn to show a young Anti-Fairy the movements and patterns of such a special dance.

Not that I had to wait long. Once we'd finished, Anti-Kanin flew down to the city to dispose of the ceremonial items. I sat in the cave with the others, prodding at the gash at the back of my tongue he'd granted me in reward for a job well done. Tomorrow, he and I would certainly be sticking a small gem through it… perhaps a rosy pink one, which was his favourite colour. While I tried holding my tongue out far so I could see the piercing clearly, Anti-Lance lay his hand upon my knee.

"May I, Anti-Cosmo?" he asked, blinking up at me.

"Oh!" My gaze flicked briefly to the rear part of the cave, where, judging from the sounds and motions, Ashley and Anti-Edmin were in the process of solidifying their friendship too. So were Anti-Julian and Anti-Tanner, while Anti-Russell supervised their technique and offered his advice here and there. "Yes, of course! Why, we've been roommates for millennia, so it would only be proper. Only… I'm still so young… Is it okay for me to take the role of guide?"

"It's only a ceremonial gesture," Anti-Lance told me gently, squeezing my leg. "And it's not my first time accepting the favour of a friend, so don't worry that you'll need to teach me how. Your only role is to slit my tongue once it's over."

"I… I think I can manage that, then. Um, you are older, so it's your right-"

"I grant it to you."

"Right. Um. Let me understand how this works from the other side…"

With some fumbling in the small space, we made it work. Anti-Lance pressed his lips against my forehead, then my nose, my sternum, the thumbclaws on my wings, the backs of my hands, and so on. When every expected place had been gently kissed and the cut had been delivered to his tongue, he lifted his Sky-blue bachelor garb near his mouth so he might use it to dab the blood away. This left his bare lower parts entirely exposed for a moment- tail, barbs, and all. I lay on my back beside him, panting with soft pleasure and wondering again how Fairy and Refracted societies ever made it anywhere without the close bonds shared between Anti-Fairies. Friends are at their most honest when they are naked, I think. It's difficult to work openly with one another until those barriers between you have assuredly come down and left you mutually vulnerable. If Fairies would take the time to understand the tenderness of sociosexual behaviour, perhaps there never would have been a war.

"Big gash," Anti-Lance said between presses of cloth to his mouth.

"My apologies… Perhaps I was a bit too eager on the delivery, ahaha…"

Anti-Kanin had returned just before Anti-Lance and I finished our exchange. After a few more minutes of playful socialising as we all bundled together for warmth, he raised his head towards the clouds that glowed the brightest red, where the sun below was nearest. He shifted his wings.

"Mm. I've a hankering that we should prob'ly head back, me drakes. It's getting rather early. The colony will wake soon and notice we've gone off."

Anti-Julian cracked open one eye. "Why should we go back?"

I tilted my head. "Why wouldn't we? That's our home, isn't it?"

"Home, shmome," he scoffed. "Who needs 'em? All those adults, there only to ruin our fun. Nosing into our lives, interfering with our personal business. Disciplining us. Bullying us. It never was enjoyable."

"Wait," I said, scrunching my brows. Then I let them fly further up my forehead. "Good smoke, you're right! Why should we go home? It wasn't a very pleasant place. I certainly don't wish to see Mother again."

"We could fly away come morning," Ashley said, with growing excitement. "We can go anywhere, wandering together wherever we want to."

Anti-Tanner clasped his hands to his chest. "Imagine the pastries we can sample! The scenic destinations we can see! The new damsels we can snuggle up to every night!"

"The simple drakes in modest common clothes," Anti-Kanin mused, stroking his chin.

"Yeah! No more waiting for our turn in the bathing pool! We'll enjoy a public bathing pool big enough for all of us and more."

"No one denying us sugar after supper!"

"No more 'Yes, High Count' or 'No, High Countess."

"No whiny pups who will screech high screeches all night long."

"No more fighting over that well-worn part of the array's upper branches."

"No bumping elbows while we dine, or cramming so many of us on one bench that we fall off the other side."

"Yes, yes, think of it, lads! We're free." And I threw back my head, and laughed. "We're free!"

Free. Free. Free! We celebrated with giggles, crawling over one another to nuzzle heads and press bare bodies close, drunk on the joy of our discovery. I think Anti-Lance and I, or maybe it was Ashley, fell asleep together, lying on the cave floor for lack of a good spot to roost, with his large wing draped over my shoulders like the safest blanket in the world.

The first stop our travelling bachelor colony made before we planned to roam was Luna's Landing itself, of course. Anti-Julian, Anti-Tanner, and Anti-Russell split off in search of food, while Anti-Kanin accompanied me to the market's jewellery shop so he could select the small gem for my first tongue stud. Since it was ceremonially intended to be his favour, it was his right to choose the one I wore in his honour. I hung back in silent fascination, watching from the corner of my eye as he scrutinized each option offered in the velvet box for display.

My tongue had been pierced and left to softly bleed by the end of the ceremony, of course. Anti-Kanin was gentle with me when I sat on the provided stool and opened my mouth. His hands, so large and rough, moved with care as he inserted his chosen gemstone in the gash on my tongue. Pink, as I'd predicted. Anti-Lance waited patiently for me to select a stud for him, and when I saw the orange and black gem patterned after the eye of a great beast, I couldn't resist. Anti-Lance blinked, since of course he didn't associate me with Ilisa's colours, but he sat very still as I slotted it into place.

"Charming," I said softly when I finished, wiping his stinging saliva on my handkerchief.

The others began whispering from their place at the next stall over. We turned. A lone damsel carrying a notepad and a shopping basket floated straight past Ashley. "Lovely morning," Anti-Tanner called, waving to her. She turned her head. I giggled and shoved Anti-Lance's shoulder. He pushed back.

"Holy smokes, she's coming over. Guys, be calm."

It was Anti-Russell who struck up conversation with the dame, while the rest of us tripped over each other jumping in. Her name was Anti-Starfire, and her wit was no less fiery than her name suggested. Her mere presence overwhelmed me, but it would be a lie to say I wasn't impressed.

After she flitted off to finish her shopping, Anti-Russell leaned back on his heels with a smirk. "Wasn't she wonderful? I'm gonna see if she'll roost with me."

"Hey, wait." Anti-Tanner flattened his ears. "Why should she roost with you? I'm the one who called her over."

"Yeah, but she likes me better. Did you see that way she rolled her eyes? She's totally into me."

I frowned. "Hold the crystal ball. It was my idea to visit the market in the first place. We wouldn't have even found her if it wasn't for me. I ought to have her."

Anti-Julian slapped the back of my hand. I looked at it for a second, then slapped his hand too. Then we were both smacking at each other, grunting and snapping and flailing, until Anti-Kanin wrapped his arms around my waist and stepped back with me.

"'Ey, turn down the heat, me boys. We don't have to fight. Why don't we ask her who she be wanting to couple with? That be fair, aye?"

"Aye," we all mumbled after a moment's pause.

So we tailed her while she finished browsing and did, approaching with all the humility and grace excitable drakes could be expected to show. Anti-Starfire clutched the handle of her basket as she listened to our proposal, and turned her attention on Anti-Kanin.

"Does that include you, cutie?"

Anti-Kanin's ears went down. "Oh, er… I'm not interested in damsels. I'm only leading these fellas where they want to go."

She turned away with a grunt of annoyance. Her eyes slid across me without pausing, and she let them settle on Anti-Tanner. She twitched her claws. "Come on, fluffytail. Let's have a chat."

He bounded after her in delight. If she'd stroked her finger up his chin, I think he'd have melted on the spot. I wrinkled my nose, but went on browsing the market with the rest of our group anyhow. Anti-Russell fell into a horrid mood, storming everywhere and muttering behind his fangs.

Anti-Tanner didn't roost with us that night, but he was at our grove first thing the following morning, beaming with a face of starlight.

"Anti-Starfire and I are going to form a colony! The Anti-Cloudpuff colony."

"Already?" I cried, rubbing my eyes awake. "Good smoke, you've only known her for a day."

"A day," he said dreamily, rubbing his nose against hers. She nuzzled him back. "It feels like a year."

"Smite me," I muttered.

Anti-Julian approached the situation a bit more logically, studying Anti-Tanner with a hint of concern in his eyes. "Are you sure? I mean, she is a Fire, and you a Soil. You're naturally incompatible."

"We'll make it work, won't we, muffintops?"

"Mm, yes… I think I'll fall in love with you."

We threw a simple ceremony together for them by afternoon, embracing them while they exchanged the acid in their saliva for a long moment. Then the pair spread their wings, hands linked. "Farewell," we called after them. They spiralled away into the sky, giggling and crooning. "Silver blessings!"

Once they'd disappeared, I lay back on the grass with a sigh, my hands spread to either side of me. "Won't that be delightful? Falling in love?"

"You'll get your share of it," Anti-Kanin assured me.

"Yes, but I do so wish it would happen now. I'm in a very romantic mood tonight." I sighed and brushed my fingers across the grass blades. What was Mona doing back at the Castle? Surely by now she must have realised that I'd flown off with Anti-Kanin's bachelor colony. Did she know it was an accident? Or worse, did she suspect I had met a charming damsel who had captivated me more than she ever could? Did she think I'd abandoned her? Why, surely she knew I was only curious, and I'd come home again soon.

"If you like your genie so much, why don't you just form a colony with her?" Anti-Russell teased, and everyone laughed. I laughed too and pulled Lohai's carpet bag to my chest.

"Ohh, in another lifetime, perhaps." I wasn't opposed to wandering the cloudlands with Lohai at my side if she were a free genie, but for now… I simply wished to make my lifelong companion a Sky year. Tarrow had bestowed a Sky ring upon me at my betrothal ceremony, after all…

… Why was I planning to marry Mona, again? Hmm… Surely I had a reason.

We travelled as a colony five more months, before Anti-Russell and Anti-Kanin suddenly found themselves smitten over the same drake in Crowfeld. After supper but before dessert at one of the local shops, Anti-Russell pulled Anti-Kanin onto the rear balcony. The rest of us watched through the window, and when the discussion turned colder, we rushed out there as one.

Anti-Kanin kept his arms folded, feet planted. "I'm the dominant drake here, Anti-Russ. You can't just drive me from my own bachelor colony."

"I can if I challenge you for it." Anti-Russell drew his wand and bared it at a slanted angle. "Let's have us a good-old magic fight. Winner stays. Loser leaves."

I gasped. Skipping sociosexual behaviour and diving straight to insults? Now that was a dangerous game.

Both drakes looked at the rest of us. We looked at each other, the energy field dripping with uncertain thumping sounds. Anti-Julian floated over to Anti-Russell's half of the balcony. Ashley followed. Anti-Lance looked at me. I took one tiny step towards Anti-Kanin, but my ears burned.

"Well?" Anti-Russell asked, not lowering his wand.

Anti-Kanin pressed his lips together. "You know? We all know I'd win, but if you lads won't accept me as yer captain willingly, I don't even want it. I'm not going to fight you- It's against my principles as a Love year. I'm leaving." With that, he snapped open his wings, launched himself from the balcony railing, and glided away over the sagebrush.

"Um." I glanced over my shoulder. "Sorry, everyone, but I'm going with Anti-Kanin. He's my best friend. See you again someday… I hope. Look for me at migration."

"Fine!" Anti-Julian hollered after me, the tears bleeding down his cheeks like raindrops in the wind. "We never wanted you anyway. You are the weakest link!"

Anti-Lance flew after me, grazing my head with the underside of his wing. "Thank you for inviting me to your ceremony," he said, "but I should get home. I'm an Anti-Sundive of the Anti-Sundive colony, and I'm expected to take over from my father."

"I understand. Thank you."

Anti-Kanin grunted in response. Anti-Lance flew with us for an hour and stayed while we rested, but when our strength returned, he gave my cheek a nuzzle and then flew off in another direction. I sighed to watch him go.

"He wasn't committed to bachelor life from the start," Anti-Kanin muttered, flopping from his branch down into the stubbled grass. I flew down to join him, landing with more grace.

"To be honest, I'm not certain I am either. I do miss the Castle… Remember those big Krisday dinners, with the grilled sandwiches and spiralled kabobs of fruit?"

Anti-Kanin groaned. "Aye, and the roasted hogs and pheasants too. Chestnuts."

"And the buttered corn dripping in salt, and mashed potatoes, and baked beans. And fish. I like fish." I stared up at the twinkling stars. "I miss home."

"Same here."

"I miss Mona. I miss Anti-Robin. I miss Anti-Bryndin. I miss my mum."

Anti-Kanin turned his head in a sharp twist. "Don't say that, boy. Yer mother was a nasty cod."

I studied the blue ring around my middle finger. That part of my skin was long worn-down from wearing it, and I wondered if I'd even be able to slide the ring over my knuckle and off again. "But I do miss them. I miss the way they took care of me when I was ill. I miss the way they helped me dress. I miss the way they taught me Vatajasa."

Unfolding his wings, Anti-Kanin reached over and grabbed my hand. "You listen now, matey. You don't need yer mama. I can do those things for you. It's just us now, so I'll protect you. You just be the brains, and I'll be the brawn. With that kind of power, we're unstoppable. Aye?"

I couldn't resist smiling at the tenderness in his eyes. "Aye, aye, captain."

"Arr." He released my hand, and it flopped down to my knee. "Get some sleep, lad. We'll be moving off again in the morning. Gotta put some distance between us and the others. Next stop? Cedarcross."

"Cedarcross? Oh, at last! My first migration where I shan't be relegated to the juvenile arrays!"

We were off at once, me dragged down by the weight of Lohai's carpet bag as usual. But this time, instead of fighting with Anti-Russell to fly in the lead, Anti-Kanin coasted beside me. I liked that. We shared a great many conversations as we went.

Cedarcross wouldn't officially welcome us for two weeks still, so Anti-Kanin and I stopped at a border crossing station and were approved to visit some of the nearby towns, as was often permitted under the condition that we left our wands as collateral. Anti-Kanin had been this way several times when he was younger, and he was eager to show me his favourite sights.

"'Ivory Wand and Comet Blood,'" I read aloud when we landed in front of a small building. I pursed my lips. "That's a bar, Anti-Kanin. Are we allowed in there? In Fairy World's legal system, we're underage…"

Anti-Kanin shook his head. "Aye, but we're allowed to live and purchase Fairy goods. They respect our right ta that."

They only want our money, I thought, but clutched the strap of Lohai's bag and followed him inside.

Floating chairs and tables filled the entire bar, absolutely pummelling it with Sky energy. The whole place brimmed with older Fairies, and all of them were growing steadily drunk. I did notice a large group of young Anti-Fairies sitting together around one of the back tables, laughing amongst themselves like a colony. Fellow travellers? Perhaps they were heading towards Cedarcross too. Some of them were damsels, and an anti-far darrig made eye contact with me. I quickly looked away, running a hand along what remained of my hair.

The rear half of the building consisted of cracked and weathered stone, as opposed to the bright white walls and lovely wood in the front. A few traces of glittering light suggested that pieces of the floor had been forced together with sloppy magic year upon year, and they were obviously in need of a remodel by a proper architect. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes. It was so like a Fairy to lean on magic as a crutch for obtaining fast goods and services, even if they were charged a rollover tax for it each and every day. Reason and frugality simply aren't part of their culture. Poor planners, the lot of them.

Beautiful sugar-rimmed glasses lined the shelves behind the bar. Each was interspaced with a glass bottle of glistening soda, all in a variety of colours. I eyed them curiously. We didn't see a great deal of soda up at the Blue Castle, although it occasionally made an appearance on appropriate holidays. Like most of the noble class, I considered drunkenness beneath me and had never been particularly tempted to try it (especially since it hadn't been expressly forbidden me at any time, or else I'd have stolen away with a bottle for the sheer rebellious adventure that act would grant me). But I was a legal adult now, so why not try a simple taste?

I voiced this to Anti-Kanin, and he ordered us a small bottle for us to share, along with a scoop of salted crisps and bread rolls. As we settled on the bar's stools, I noticed more than a few Fairies glance at us in amusement. A wry smile crossed my lips. Ah. They recognised my youth and had correctly predicted my experience with the drink, so now they eagerly anticipated my reaction. I made a mental note to keep my face calm, and perhaps slip a sly smirk in there too. While Anti-Kanin opened the bottle, I leaned forward, peering up at the slanted mirror behind the bar and turning my head this way and that. I ran my claws through what was left of my stubbled hair… Wasn't that a dark diamond pattern there?

"No scent glands 'til Fairy-Cosmo gets his adult wings," Anti-Kanin chided, as he had before.

"I know, I know…" I crunched down on a crisp. "But what's the harm in looking?"

He poured me a shot of sparkling cherry drink, then one for himself. We clinked them together and raised them high, only to be interrupted by a commotion at the window. Those seated at the nearby tables had pressed close to see out. I lowered my shot glass slightly. "Hm? What's caught their interest over there, do you think?"

One of the fairies peered through the window a moment longer, then whirled around. "It's Rupert. Scramble!"

Several people gasped. As fairies whirred about the room, I glanced at them, and at the ones who stayed seated. Then I leaned forward. "Anti-Kanin… Look. The nervous fairies are all gynes. Do you suppose a more dominant one is coming here?"

Would our evening end with us witnesses to a live gyne fight? I wasn't sure my stomach could handle that queasiness. I exhaled, then looked at Anti-Kanin again. "I suppose we'd better get on with it, just in case our atmosphere is about to be ruined. Ready, then?"

We downed our shot glasses together. Or rather, Anti-Kanin downed his. Immediately after I tasted mine, I gagged. I let go of my glass, which clashed back onto the table and spilled the rest of my drink. My hand slapped to my mouth, but it didn't stop the juice from dribbling between my fingers.

"The bubbles burn!"

Those who had been watching me instead of the window erupted in laughter. I strained to retain my dignity, but all I wanted to do was spit the tingling flames from my mouth. Anti-Fairies weren't permitted in the bar's washroom, and I doubted the Fairies would be happy if I heaved my stomach indoors anyway. I turned desperately to Anti-Kanin, who called immediately to the bartender for wine to clear the palate. I'm sure she overcharged us; I didn't care.

And still the crowd laughed.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to swallow the carbonation destroying my tongue. Anti-Kanin pressed a wine glass into my hand, and I gulped it all. Even when the soda no longer touched my mouth, I felt it sizzling still. I swiped my tongue around my lips. I longed to ask Anti-Kanin how Fairies managed to drink this rancid stuff at all, but my throat had sealed shut. My hands trembled, ears down.

They were still laughing.

"I want to go," I whispered, pressing my handkerchief to my lips. My wings shuddered, beating nervously enough to ruffle the napkins on the table behind me.

"Right now?" Anti-Kanin asked in surprise. Disappointment rimmed each word.

"I… I guess I… can wait…" Covering my face with my hands, I tried to steady the rapid shaking of my wings. Intake air. Expel it. Intake air. Expel it. Though the process nearly frightened me more than it soothed.

I want to leave I want to leave I want to leave

At that very moment, the door chimed to signal a newcomer's arrival. I was already half-turned in that direction anyhow, so I simply glanced over through my fingers. Anti-Kanin did the same. A large gyne, nearly as tall as the Head Pixie but with broader shoulders, blocked the doorway. I blinked in wary surprise, wondering which way to bolt. He certainly wasn't much to look at. Plaited brown hair, scarlet eyes, muscles certainly there but concealed in simple green clothing too loose to incite the imagination…

The drone who held open the door for him was far more interesting. Even I could recognise that, shaking and anxious I may be. He dressed entirely in bold red with eight brass buttons down the front of his shirt, all of them linked in pairs via shiny tassels. His golden hair spilled across his shoulders, almost swishing as he walked. His skin was so pasty, he nearly looked like porcelain. He did walk, but with his glossy wings outstretched more than I thought was socially proper in Fairy World. I must admit, what I could make out of his wingspan was so wide, even I forgot to tremble for a moment. A soft whistle left Anti-Kanin's lips. I bobbed my head in flustered agreement. I reached another crisp towards my mouth, only to realise when I bit my finger that I'd forgotten to pick one up. Oh. I used my thumb to push my crown a little higher. Anti-Kanin leaned closer to me, his voice hardy above a whisper.

"Shame that body types don't always translate perfectly across Class boundaries, aye? I wouldn't mind getting to know his Anti-Fairy."

I wouldn't mind getting to know him, I thought, sweat freezing in my fur.

The pair joined us at the bar, the curious drone right beside my stool. I dabbed my handkerchief across my face again, including my brow. His gyne peered at the selection for a moment, then said, "One lemon-lime twist, vanilla cupcake on the side. And… one chocolate strawberry for me."

"Sprinkles on the cupcake," the drone added, leaning his folded arms against the counter. Smoke, that voice could have buttered a crumpet and sprinkled sugar on top. One hand went to his cheek, and his smirk prickled the fur around my neck. "Prettiest ones you've got, Glittertoes. Lay 'em on thick."

The bartender sighed, but reached for a mug shaped like an acorn. "Another one already? You certainly burn bridges fast."

The drone crossed his arms. "You know me, Glit. I'm irresistible. Hand me off to any gyne, and I'll have him at my beck and call within a month. My record's a day and a half. Gynes aren't so tough. You just have to know how to handle them."

He put slow emphasis on handle, a flickering inflection at the end. When he said it, he beamed up at Rupert, who glanced at him, but didn't respond. Biting on the edge of my handkerchief, I allowed my eyes to trace from his head to his four shimmering wings. They were very long and thin, dangling now so as not to bump my face, though one was very, very close to brushing over my lap. The shape intrigued me, and the myriad colours running through the veins, that soft curve as they rested against his hips…

"Like 'em?" asked the drone, sounding amused.

… Drat. I always seem to forget that Fairies can sense the direction one glances even while facing the other way. Infallible memory, my crown. Knowing all I know is useless if I can't bring my thoughts to the forefront of my mind when I need it. Caring for my dignity no longer, I turned away and grabbed the thin fur on my head with one hand, digging my elbow into the bar counter. My fangs clenched, and my little inhales, exhales suddenly became more difficult.

Anti-Kanin was more brazen. Lifting his shot glass, he said, "Ho, pasty! You got an Anti-Fairy who can match those legs?"

"Depends," the drone fired back instantly, turning with a smile. "You got a Fairy for those shoulders?"

The crowd was silent this time, when I'd expected a laugh or even a jeer. I dared to raise my head enough to peer around the room. All eyes were on us… but silently. Even the bartender wasn't serving quite as fast as she could have. A few dishes clinked, but that was all.

The gyne reached his hand to me. Palm up. An Anti-Fairy greeting. Automatically, I placed my hand in his. "I am Arthur Cracklewings," he said, voice low.

Wait…

The drone reached his hand forward too, his movements jerky but firm. He made direct eye contact with me. "Rupert Roebeam. Nice to meet you."

I gave him the most intelligent response in my arsenal, which I only pulled out in incredibly high-stress situations: "H-hi…"

"This guy giving you any trouble?" he asked, stepping between us. His hand darted out to ruffle Anti-Kanin's hair (Anti-Kanin winced with sudden alarm, smirk dropping). "You look anxious, buddy. Maybe I can help with that. What did he get you?" Rupert glanced at our shared bottle, then clicked his tongue. To Anti-Kanin, he wagged a finger and said, "Only lightly carbonated? Shame on you, cheapskate. Looks like I'll have to buy you both a proper soda."

"Er…" Anti-Kanin said.

"Mm!" I said, pressing my hands over my mouth. "No, no thank you! No more soda, please. We still have a ways to fly."

Rupert ignored me. "Arthur, hand me your wallet."

"Please," I began to protest.

"Tsk," he scoffed, pulling a fistful of bills from the case. He clapped the wallet shut and handed both it and the loose money to Arthur. "I won't take 'No' for an answer. Buy them something they can share with friends, Artie."

I was mortified, but then the conversation took a sudden swivel. Rupert shifted his attention from Anti-Kanin to me, and cocked his head. "Don't I know you from the Eros Nest?"

"That's my former place of employment," I said uncertainly.

Rupert considered this, then nodded. "Well, if you ever want honest work in Fairy World" - he flipped a small card between two fingers and presented it to me - "Arthur's interested in hiring. Our restaurant's smack on this side of the Divide Gate over in Godscress, perfect stop for those on pilgrimage to Fairy World's Zodiac Temples. We lost our staff when news got out that we wanted to serve Anti-Fairies, so now we plan to serve only Anti-Fairies. I looked around the other day and said to myself, 'Self, what better way to show our support to their people than hiring Anti-Fairy staff at a fair rate?' Voila!"

"Thanks," I stuttered, taking the card. Rupert beamed.

"Yup! Scry us if you're interested. Don't hesitate to send your questions our way. I'll answer them all personally. What was your name again?"

"Ju- Anti-Cosmo."

"Anti-Cosmo. I'll remember that." Arthur returned then to deliver us the soda and exchanged parting words. Then, Rupert looped their arms together and fluttered his fingers to Anti-Kanin and I in farewell. When they finally left the bar and people began to move and murmur again, I shook my head.

"Well! I know ditzy and transparently desperate is the drone stereotype, but that fellow took the honey. I say, that fellow took the honey! If I didn't know better, I'd say he came off more like an Anti-Fairy than any Fairy I've ever known. And believe me, I went to school. Makes one wonder if there's such a thing as umbra displacement syndrome, hm?"

Anti-Kanin chuckled, his laughter stilted. "Heh… Maybe in his past life, the li'l skipper was one of us. If'n you wasn't betrothed to Mona, I'd reckon you just found yeself a balanced soulmate."

"You're sugarloaded," I teased him, but tapped my chin. "I say, that's a curious thought, isn't it? A fairy for a soulmate… And good smoke, did you get a look at his wings? The bloke's on blooming enhancers, I swear."

I'd hardly gotten the words out of my mouth when the anti-far darrig slid onto the stool beside me and propped her chin on one hand.

"Hey, scrappy-ears. What colony are you from?"

"Oh, Anti-Coppertalon originally, but I'm a traveling bachelor at the moment."

"Really?" Her fingers trailed directly to the highest button on my coat. "Any chance of you settling before the night is out?"

I choked. That was fast. "I, um, I-"

Chuckling, she tightened her grip and pulled me from the stool. "Come here, newbie. Let's get you an education. My name's Anti-Joy, by the way."

"A-Anti-C-C-Cosmo," I stuttered. "I'm a Water."

"No kidding, shortstuff. I saw your ring. I'm a Soil. We're perfect for each other, no?"

All my nerves fired at once. "Um-"

Anti-Kanin was there in a wingbeat, his hands wrapping over my shoulders. "The lad's mine, honeybiscuit. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to set your sights elsewhere."

"I'm a Fire year," she argued, flashing her betrothal ring. "I can have him if I want."

"Love year," Anti-Kanin said simply, flashing his. The damsel squeaked and withdrew her hand.

"O-oh… I didn't know. My apologies." Head low, she darted back to join her friends, who greeted her with a mixture of giggles and sympathetic coos.

"Let's go," Anti-Kanin murmured to me, nudging me towards the rear exit with Rupert's bottle. I nodded and forced my legs to move.

As we stepped out onto the take-off balcony, the bartender called out to us, "You and your drakefriend take care now."

I forced myself to chuckle and wave at her. "Oh no, we're just roostmates!"

The rear balcony was deserted, quiet. The air was warmer in Fairy World than I was used to, but the season prompted shivers nonetheless. I fluffed my fur with a gasp and wrapped my arms around Anti-Kanin.

"Thank you! Ohh, Anti-Kanin, it happened so fast and I didn't know what to do!"

He hugged me back. "No trouble at all, matey."

Squeezing him tighter, I laughed. "Oh gods, did you see her face?"

"I sure as stormfire did!"

He laughed and glanced at me. I laughed and glanced up at him, and our laughter quieted down. We gazed through one another's eyes in silence. His were so dark and glistening, it looked as though moon and river had tumbled into one. My core, supposedly silent in my head, suddenly began to beat. I could hear it thrumming in my ears. I started to turn my face away, covering my mouth with my fingertips, but Anti-Kanin caught my shoulder and refocused my attention on him.

"Anti-Cosmo?" he murmured.

My claws tightened around the balcony railing behind me. I bobbed backwards, ducking my head for an instant before I had the sense to look him in the eyes again. Anti-Kanin crossed the distance between us with a flowing step. I blinked again. Despite the sip of soda I'd consumed earlier, my mouth felt suddenly dry. My wings trembled only once. I lifted my head, and slowly, his face lowered to meet mine.

My first kiss with Mona had been horribly awkward, and only belatedly delightful. It had dripped with anxiety, fear, and confusion as I tried to sort out my muddled childhood memories and apply them to the juvenile damsel who'd stood before me. But where Anti-Kanin was concerned, I didn't even hesitate. I knew my lifelong friend, even with my eyes closed. He was gentle, proper, cupping my cheek in his enormous hand. My fingers groped along his wrist and found his sleeve. All my claws tightened in the fabric. I didn't let him go.

He was the one to pull his lips away. Unable to speak, all I could do was gape up at him as I fell back from my toes to my heels. Anti-Kanin's cheeks turned purple with a fizzle.

"I- I'm so sorry, matey. I mean- We ain't s'posed to, and you also said ye just saw us as roostmates- I know you're young as a fish fry, but- but I dunno, I've just known ya forever and I just thought I'd-"

"No, I…" I tucked my hair behind my ear. "I went for it too… I didn't mind. You're a good kisser. I mean, I think. I don't really have much experience with, um, drakes, but I, er… I enjoyed it."

"Aye," he said, grinning through the flushing energy field. I laughed.

"Aha, aha… This is bloody mad, isn't it? Kisses before intercourse?" I covered my mouth with a tent of my hands. My blood rushed through every vein. The energy field tingled with falling raindrops and speeding winds. "I-I mean… We can't do this- we're not committed! Kiss for long enough and we'll habituate to one another's acid for life, a-and then if we ever fought one another- I-if we had to defend ourselves-"

"You think I would hurt you?" Anti-Kanin asked, softly. He didn't sound offended, or amused. Only gentle. That pushed the tears over my eyelids. They dripped onto my shirt, sizzling as they burned their way across the fabric.

"No. Not you. Never."

"Then I reckon it oughta be okay if we make a habit of kissing, aye?"

As silent wingbeats passed, his expression grew more uncertain, more flustered. Anti-Kanin muttered a sharp word behind his fangs. He pressed his palm to his cheek and gave it a few rubs. Then he turned away.

"I'm beyond sorry. I'll go-"

"Don't!" I grabbed him by the lapels of his coat and yanked him down to my level. His ears snapped forward with instant interest. Taking that signal as invitation to proceed, I allowed my Ilisa instincts to kick in. I pressed my lips between his and started us over again. Anti-Kanin's arms slid below my wings. He pulled me forward, bringing me onto my toes once more, and kissed me even deeper. Yes. Yes. Pulling back, I made the attempt to conquer his lips by squishing them in mine, only to find him determined to do the same to me. I fell back with a shake of my head and a giggle. Oh, this was too much. So this was what it was like, kissing drakes!

"Can this all be true, mate?" he whispered. His eyes flicked from my hair to my chin and all around my face. His fingers tightened into my spine. "Anti-Cosmo, would ye say ye… like me?"

I scrunched my nose. "I… I don't know. I don't really know if I feel anything for you like that, Anti-Kanin… but I also know I've never felt anything like 'that' for anyone else, either. Or at least not yet. I only just turned 150,000. Perhaps I'm too young for special feelings. I mean…" Here I squeezed his hand, laughing with a thrill between my wings. "Bloody smoke, I haven't the foggiest whether I've even developed all my adulthood hormones yet."

"If that's a problem-"

"No, I don't mind it if you don't. Ohh, this is terrible!" Clasping my hair, I cried, "We're breaking every rule! But we're our own colony for the moment, and no one's watching tonight. Let's play a little wildly. You're my best friend, Tarrow smite me. Regardless of how old my physical body is, my old soul says that right now, this is right. By smoke, I'm willing to give us a try."

Anti-Kanin laughed and pulled me in for a hug, arms and wings together. His effervescence ruffled my ears. "Gods, I think I just might love you, savvy!"

I squirmed in his grip, thoroughly amused by his closeness. "Oh, give over, you big lump, before someone sees us like this. You're embarrassing me."

"You're my drakefriend now. I'm allowed to embarrass ye just a wee bit." Anti-Kanin bumped our foreheads. "Let's find a nice spot back in Anti-Fairy World, and I'll buy us both a dish that'll really get the drool flowing, so mixing our acid together won't be any trouble after that. Aye?"

"Oh," I whispered, holding my hands to my chest. "Yes… yes, I want that. So much." And with a laugh, I bowed. "Aye, captain! Right away!"