(Posted October 18th, 2024)
Harechaser
In which Anti-Cosmo and Wanda shop for godparenting supplies and settle into their new housing unit in the Summer of the Flaming Clouds
Wanda, for one, had dressed up for our shopping day. I'd never seen that ruffled green dress on her, but I liked the colour. The leafiness suited her. She'd tied back her shiny pink hair and done her face up in enough powder and lash extensions, I knew then and there I'd be staring. Can I confide in Wanda about my plan to wear Mona's clothes? Maybe she could help me pick a few things out today. I hadn't thought of that. My core picked up its beats like claws drumming on my arm. I looked away, only to catch her wings at just the right angle; I bit my lip.
She even smelled clean and pleasant- That was definitely some heavy perfume mixed in alongside her usual cherry almond scent. She had a handbag patterned like the night sky, showcasing no fewer pins than her beloved schoolbag. I'd dressed simpler in my Carl Poofypants pullover and black sweatpants. After all, I'd be moving around a lot, in and out of stores on the heels of a quick companion.
When Wanda saw me, her wings stopped fluttering. She touched down on the sidewalk. "Are… you allowed to wear green?" Her words were awfully funny, but the surprise genuine. "How does that work if you're a Water year?"
Maybe you do pay attention in your culture classes. Of course she did- she was Wanda Fairywinkle. I dragged my eyes from her pretty dress and handbag and shiny wings. "Well, dear Wanda, your brains enamour me once again. I shall have to watch my tongue close around you. Yes, I'm wearing Water-blue underneath. I'm allowed to wear school colours if it's authentic from their store."
Wanda stared curiously at me a moment longer. "I've never seen you wear a hoodie before… It looks nice on you."
Did I detect a twinge of envy dancing in her words? I caught the lift; I heard the plop. I scrutinised myself once more, but I can't say for certain I liked the lime green of Carl Poofypants pride against my dark blue fur. Would you really say I look 'nice?' I should think 'Getting by' felt more appropriate. I wondered for a moment how much of Wanda's classy appearance was her idea and how much her father's. Perhaps I'd ask Blonda before our move-out date.
"Thank you, darling; I appreciate it. And I could say the same about you."
She didn't exactly smile widely at me… but her shoulders did relax.
Wanda poofed us both to the mall we'd decided to glut ourselves on. Noisy, filthy, and people stared as soon as I materialised. I scooped several pieces of trash into a nearby can and did my best to block them out.
"You could use magic," Wanda said, watching me search the area for any litter I'd overlooked.
"I'm afraid Fairy-Cosmo's magic is chronically unreliable and I get the dregs of that. It's a wee bit off today." I could feel it in my core
"Oh… The Cosma mutation. Right." Wanda used her magic to help me tidy some litter, and I thanked her for it with a pat on the arm, mindful of cultural boundaries.
"Many thanks, darling- I know the spirit bears appreciate it as much as I do, ta?"
"No trouble…"
The envelopes we'd received our assignments in had included a detailed checklist. On the agenda for today, we'd pick up a few basics like skincare - Protection from sun and acid clocked in at high priority on Boudacia - our interplanet vaccinations, nutrition supplements, and little details for our primary disguises. That… I worried about.
Many godparents chose to take the role of companion animals in a child's life, offering plausible deniability if they were to leap in and protect their godkid from a threat without revealing their magical nature. Object disguises weren't unheard of, but grew dull after a time… not to mention they'd put a crick in your neck and wings. It was far too easy for an adult to toss loose objects away, and when our line of work involved lying low, lending aid to miserable children in secret, that was a hassle I was all too happy to avoid.
No… My concern lay with our options for disguise. And when Wanda and I strolled into the little animal disguises shop, Wanda skimmed straight towards the canine collars gleaming on their hooks. My core sank.
"Ah…"
"What do you think of foops?" Wanda asked, holding a blue collar decorated in rhinestones to her neck. She made a face in the mirror and switched it for a green option. "They've certainly got the bulk to back up a bite."
Boudacia hadn't exactly tamed its violent beasts, though admittedly, the thought of living like a star-coated canine with enormous fangs and claws had a certain charm to it. Before I could speak, Wanda abandoned the rhinestone-studded collars for a guidebook on serpent identification. "Or snakes… I'd love to be a snake."
Having fangs could really help us in a pinch. I drifted towards her, smoothing my palms down my hoodie front. "Wanda… I'm not really allowed."
She didn't face me, though I could tell from the shift in her wings as she bent to grab another collar that her fairy senses had me on lock. "Oh, that's right… Anti-Fairies aren't allowed to shapeshift. Do you not get to make exceptions for godparenting?"
"Shapeshifting isn't forbidden in its entirety, but I can only be a fox- That's my family line. I'm descended from Cadmea the Teumessian Fox herself. And I don't really know about the godparenting rules. We can't get certified on our side of the border." The Anti-Fairy Academy was a place of personal research, designed especially for the on-the-go lifestyle of a travelling Anti-Fairy. Rather than attending daily classes, it offered the chance to propose research and present projects for evaluation. We certainly didn't have daily homework or essays graded by biassed instructors… and we didn't have fancy programs on godparenting.
(I say we, though I of course attended Fairy schools- you know what I mean.)
"Well, there must be some Anti-Fairy godparents you can ask. The war wasn't that long ago." Wanda studied another collar lined with little butterflies. "It won't be easy to be a godparent without shapeshifting."
"I've passed my classes; I'll do fine."
"What if our godkid wishes you into a new form?"
"Well, that wouldn't be my choice, so the spirits wouldn't be shamed."
"We could just do that, then."
"That's not the point."
"Does Tarrow's pantheon even reach Boudacia? I mean… There are only a few spirits watching Snobulac, right?" She counted Saturn, Sunnie, and Winni off on her fingers. "Will they even know?"
"That's not the point," I said again, dropping my wings.
"Well, you can't be a fox," Wanda argued, finally looking at me. A storm brewed in her shiny pink eyes. "There aren't any woods in north Boudacia. Their culture's all about weapons and metal. I vote snakes."
"Yes, fangs and venom would protect us," I fretted, hating the mental image of a parent arriving in Mandelro's room unexpectedly with some drooling beast on their heels. Mandelro was our godkid, by the way.
Wanda flashed one of those rare and radiant smiles at me. Oh, rare indeed! "Then again, what would I need with fangs when I've got you to protect me? You will protect me, won't you, Anti-Cosmo?"
Ice crawled in snowdrifts up my neck, into my cheeks. Did it show? Could she tell? The sparkle on her wings right then almost left me blind, or at least a little squirmy. "Ah… W-well, that is to say…" I shifted my eyes away, then to Wanda again. Why did she say it like that? Is she baiting me? Does she know about Blonda and I? Might she be testing me, drawing me in with friendship and pretty words, to see if I would indeed betray her for Wanda's game? Tingles ran up and down my arms, lifting my fur like the swells of ocean waves. My words came crashing with the tide.. "Um… How do you feel about rats?" That… That wouldn't shame the spirits. My paternal line traced its lineage back to Pérez, who performed acts of unseen generosity throughout his life. But…
If I change alignment from fox to rat, I can't call myself an Anti-Lunifly anymore. I'd have to change my family name to Anti-Cosma. Like my father. While I'd never known my connection to Anti-Robin - and thanks to my brother telling fibs, he didn't identify me either - I still remembered how he pried me from cellar shelves, hauled me out of barrels of salt crackers, and shooed me from the servant tunnels back to play. Even in scolding, he was gentle with me. Even when he sighed, it was with a sort of longing and amusement intertwined. It wasn't really playing. It sort of was.
He may not have known me for sure, but did he ever wonder? Mother's curls are black. Did he have my blue hair?
… Would it be so wrong to change my name? I loved my mother - I'm a good son; don't think I'm not - but I'd spent my whole life trotting at her heels, and I had so few memories of my father. No real connection. Why, I knew his father - my Granddad Anti-Gonzo - better than I knew Anti-Robin. I even knew my uncle Anti-Hawk more than my uncle Anti-Harold, and you know which one is brother to whom. How curious.
"Anti-Bryndin wants what your father had," Mother told me last winter. She'd lain her enchanted staff, carved with tiny robins and crowned with her beautiful crystal ball, in my hands and told me exactly why she'd named my brother Thousand kisses of the birds and me Conceived under milbark trees.
Would I like to cling to my father's memory? Even if it meant turning away from Her Glory Cadmea's grace for Pérez instead?
Wanda looked at me, one thin brow raised high. "Rats? Uh… It sounds dirty, doesn't it, scout? We'd need a cage."
Who is 'scout?' "I think two advanced students like ourselves can keep our space clean, wot? Even in rat form, I don't plan to use the toilet where we eat."
Wanda still looked sceptical, but nonetheless, she drifted from the canine collars in search of something else. "All rights- Rats it is. Let's find a cage."
Anti-Cosmo Anti-Cosma…
Buying a cage made by hand rather than magic was crucial for myriad reasons: Summoning our own would tax our energy, leech dust into our food, and just cause a nuisance all around. I mean, I certainly didn't know enough about rat cage structure to design one that would ensure our safety if we were backed in a corner, hunkering down, not using magic in front of witnesses. Imagine if some animal tried to snap its teeth at us!
No. The plan was to introduce ourselves to Mandelro and teleport the cage from wherever we were into his bedroom. I hoped he didn't mind rats… or this little excursion would become quite complicated very quickly.
I did my best to ignore the prying stares that followed me across the store. Aha! Now, this was more like it. The place offered an entire wall of cages for rodents, ranging from mice and rats to guinea pigs. Wanda and I tested different clasps, opening and shutting every door. "We could put a hex on the front so it doesn't open, or so anyone who touches it forgets what they were doing," she suggested, and I agreed. I'd seen her hexwork. It left even me impressed.
Our cage didn't need to be fancy. We'd have a plastic bowl to crawl under. With Wanda's know-how of the essential magic and my background in Blue Castle portals, we could set up a spell to lead us straight back to our apartment… One we'd share once we moved out to the active godparent campus. There, Adelinda von Strangle would personally whip us into shape.
All right, Julius, I thought, watching Wanda poof herself into a scruffy pink rat ahead of me. This is it. In public. Perhaps aligning with the Anti-Cosma side of my family wouldn't be a bad thing… even if it did mean a step to technical lower status. As it stood now, there were multiple Anti-Lunifly colonies around… but since my granddad insisted on being addressed as Anti-Gonzo rather than his surname, there were no other Anti-Cosma colonies that I knew of. My grandnana Anti-Starling had passed on. My uncle Anti-Hawk wasn't much of a leader, and actually content in his role of serving beneath his father's hand. A new title might make signing out after migration a titch easier. And I could build a name for myself all on my own…
And to be fair, it wouldn't be my first time turning into a rat, and rats were far easier to come by in the cloudlands than foxes were when seeking reference; I'd spent a lot of time watching the way the foxes moved in their Eros Nest enclosure. True, they had their size and could quite probably outrun many creatures - especially with Cadmea's glory flooding through my veins - but a rat … Well, you see, a rat was far more inconspicuous. A rat could wiggle his way in and out of a great many situations. I'd learned that myself from sneaking around Serentip back when I was about 70,000 years old.
It doesn't feel very good, though, I thought next, watching Wanda preen behind her ears. After all, I've betrayed Cadmea several times already, once or twice around the time of Snowball's attack… I suppose a few notable mentions here and there. And always, she has forgiven me and welcomed me back with open arms.
… Could I walk away from that? Really, truly, and swear myself a loyal knight of Pérez? Yes, yes, the Chimera were long dead, their hunting grounds and nurseries turned over to the Fae, as we would someday turn the cloudlands to whichever future race sought our aid. But Cadmea and Laelaps dwelt among the stars. Who's to say they weren't looking down on me now? Would she weep for my changing loyalties? Would she call me forward; cheer me on?
If I but knew your mortal name… Ah, if I only had your hand to kiss!
I drew my wand. The rosewater inside the cap splished around, the scent of pumice on the material undeniable - and indescribable - as it wreathed throughout my nose. My magic had been flickery all day, as it often was when Cosmo wasn't well. Would it be enough?
Foop!
With a swish of my wand and a cloud of smoke, I twisted my body into the scrawny form of a dark blue rat… monocle, crown, and all. I fell towards the sample cage, twisting as I went, and landed on all four paws. I curled my scaly toes against the squishy substrate, working it beneath my hands.
I could get used to this…
Wanda joined me in a poof of pink dust. Together, we rolled about in the shavings and kicked it in the air. My footsteps wobbled, but I got the hang of walking rather fast. We gnawed lightly on the bars. We practised climbing. After stretching out in a few prime napping spots, we agreed on the double-decker with a few platforms to perch on, a ramp, and a tube to crawl through. Ha- It wasn't even a contest!
"Rats it is," Wanda said, not nearly as disappointed as I thought she'd be.
We nibbled on food samples, rolling the taste across our sensitive little rat tongues. Mine wasn't nearly as long now as it was in anti-fairy form, still studded with the gems representing Anti-Kanin and Anti-Lance (which I couldn't yet bear to part with). We'd need a decent food option we could eat openly in disguise if necessity called for it. Wanda crunched through hers with little trepidation. I chewed more hesitantly, my paws up on the edge of the dish, and Wanda spewed crumbs as she laughed.
"C'mon, scout! You can't be a picky eater! You're a rat!"
I don't know about this, I thought, because the bowl before me felt as wide as a lake and I was really quite small. But… My food wasn't really touching if it consisted of nutrition-rich pellets, yes? And this was dry food. There wasn't any cheese.
"What arrangements have you and Juandissimo made while living apart?" I asked, genuinely curious once we'd both returned to proper form. "Well… Not that you aren't often apart anyway."
Wanda huffed. Not at me so much as the question- that much became clear as I watched her retie her shining pegasustail, striding through the aisle with purpose to look at cage accessories again. "He'll visit every Wednesday he's able to- At least, if that's okay with you. I figured you'd want Fridays with your fiancée? I mean, then we won't be in the way of your Friday the 13ths."
"Oh, um… Anti-Saffron and I won't be visiting each other much, actually. We're accustomed to living apart and are focusing on ourselves before the wedding." Wanda looked back at me, possibly confused - maybe even pitying - so I tried again. "She's with her mums in Anti-Fairy World. It's a long way to travel." The border is a pain. The Anti-Bentleaf colony lies across the mountains from Luna's Landing, and only when their migration takes them there. I didn't own a scrying crystal; calculating their location without contacting Mona directly would be a pain. We'd lived apart this long, hadn't we? She'd waited my entire imprisonment in Liloei's lamp when we were young. She'd waited while I travelled with my bachelor colony. We could wait one more year. Most likely, she won't want me hovering over her shoulder while she plans our wedding. "She'll keep busy. She has an embroidery project. Oh, Wanda- You should see her handiwork with stitching animals! They look real enough to pet."
She hummed, unenthused. "Personally, I can't imagine being apart from Juandissimo that long." (I loved the way she said his name, like an ancient spell or rare ingredient in an expensive dish.) "I can't wait 'til I graduate. We're getting our joint licence after post-training; we're going through together."
Yes, I imagine you are. "You know," I said, following her across the store, "the way Fairies deny themselves pleasure still baffles me entirely. I can't imagine how you visit with him so often, yet resist the temptations of the body. I should think the core yearns harder around him than it would if you kept apart."
Wanda shrugged. Her fingers trailed across a line of rat-sized shirts with pumpkins sewn on the front with sequins. "Well, it's tradition. See, common fairies mate for life, so we can't be as… free with our- with mating as Anti-Fairies."
For politeness' sake, I pretended not to notice the rosy sprinkles colouring her cheeks. "Yes, I know; I took your species' mating classes during generals; I know all about the Year of Promise. Merely commentating. I say, perhaps I'm in the ideal position, for Fairy-Cosmo will only be honey-locking me to one charming person then, wot? Not like the elves, changing with the seasons or what have you. Ooh, a dish with a divider down the centre! We could keep our drinking water apart. My saliva is acidic, after all.
"Anti-Cosmo?" Wanda's voice was tentative, but not overstepping a social line. I turned my head to see her floating there, another dish in hand. The look on her face was one I'd long grown familiar with, for she often kept one brow raised, the other lowered in concerned. She had such plump and lovely cheeks.
"Yes? What is it?"
"Do you ever dread the honey-lock? I mean, mating with a potential stranger or even a friend, not really by choice… Well, I could never be an Anti-Fairy. That must be so hard."
"Oh, no, no, no… I've not tasted its highs myself, but it's supposed to be wondrous. All your senses and desires flipped to maximum want, your partner equally enamoured… Frankly, my dear, I look forward to it absolutely. I do wish it would happen sooner- The not-knowing whom with is driving me mad. Goodness knows I had no problem with my boyfriend, aggressive as he was, but Euan really pushed me; that's where I snapped."
"Euan Eros?"
I stopped, blinking once, a dish in my hand. Wanda didn't sound accusatory. Merely… confused to hear such a famous and uncommon name. Wait. Did I say 'boyfriend?' Images of a lightly freckled face and curly, dark brown hair flooded my vision. Who-?
Stamp… A name, barely out of reach.
"Oh," I said, disinterested. Falsely. Avoidantly. My pulse quickened regardless, and I'm quite sure she knew it. "In my past life. Anyway, once our damsels hit adulthood, they're usually in rotation anyway, so heeding the call for mating is nothing new; they grow up with it. It's just our way, luv; don't worry about us. If we hated it so much, we'd bond ourselves to another race." I held up a food dish. "These come in blue and pink. I say if we colour-code anything, let it be our dishes."
"Oh. Do you know your past life?"
"Yes, but you wouldn't believe me; I shan't say. Juandissimo knows, though- He was there when it came to me." Smoky heavens, why did I say that? Now she'll simply be dying to know, and if I don't tell her myself, she'll just get it from him. Would he keep that fractured piece of my past hidden from his partner? Doubtful. He'd crumple under the pressure- I knew him too well.
And evidently, I knew Wanda. How funny… Anti-Wanda would have pressed and probed me on the subject, committed to the art of learning and socially unaware, but Wanda simply changed the subject: "Is the cat sith coming?"
"Yes; she's my emotional support companion." And how harshly I was kicking my ankle for not bringing Jasmine along when I told Mother and Anti-Bryndin I'd gotten engaged. In my foolishness, I'd not expected such disinterest. It gnawed at the corners of my mind, almost as much as Anti-Phillip lighting Mona's eyes.
"What about the genie?"
"I'm her caretaker; raised her since birth. She's expecting a litter in two more years. Her name is Lohai."
Wanda's expression turned less guarded then, more curious. "I've never seen a genie."
"Ta! I'll introduce you." Had Anti-Wanda met Lohai? I don't show her off to most people. Lohai didn't trust easily. I just hoped she'd birth her candles inside her lantern, not on our apartment floor.
In the end, accessories included, I quite liked the cage we'd settled on: it had plenty of room for two separate sleeping hammocks, a wheel to run on, and space for our portal dome in the corner. Hefty price tag, but Wanda and I split the cost. In the conjoining shop, we picked out a few more odds and ends- like little chew items for our teeth health and a few dangly charms that Wanda liked, which we both agreed we could imbue with charms and hexes as additional safety measures. And by the end of our splurge, I think the idea of rat life had really grown on her.
"So, who gets the cage when we separate?" she joked, like it was a child, and I quipped back, "My dear, if all goes well, we might have several more trial runs in our future."
And with that, the bulky cage swinging from my hand as I strained my limping wings to follow Wanda back to the mall walkways, we were off. I didn't mind the vaccinations, though I doubted my highly resistant body needed them. Anti-Fairies don't contract disease easily. We window-shopped here and there, each splurged on a new backpack and comfy socks, and ate lunch in the food court like old friends. In fact, we even ran into a few of Wanda's friends, whom she introduced me to without a drip of irony. One of them, who dressed all in turquoise blue, took notice of my hooded sweatshirt.
"Do you really attend Carl Poofypants?"
"Yes, I'm studying art history."
"Oh," said the red-haired one, suddenly interested. "Are you an architect?"
"Er, not quite." I kept my arms down, the pouch of demon-summoning supplies hanging at my belt like it nearly always did. "I'm a painter."
"Are Anti-Fairies allowed to wear green?" the turquoise fairy asked, for now all three of Wanda's friends had clustered around me, pressing me back. I fought the rising lump in my throat as best I could.
"Ah… When circumstances align." And thankfully, Wanda redirected their attention after that and I ducked out to use the loo.
"All right," Wanda said as we finished up. "I need to make a stop at Fairy Bath and Body Care; you can finish eating and I'll meet you at the succulent mural up front?"
"I'll come with you."
"… Ah." Wanda paused, looking over me. I looked back with pinched brows, my core drifting low once again. Did… she not want me around? Where else am I to go? Back to campus? On my own? I'd have to fly; I couldn't trust Cosmo's spotty magic to carry me back, however fast my core might beat.
"I have some feminine products to pick up."
"I don't mind. In fact, I'd like to know if they sell anything here for Anti-Fairies; Anti-Saffron is always asking about breast padding and binding." Ah, perhaps I shouldn't have said that.
Wanda relented. I followed her to the shop in question and we sniffed assorted summer and autumn candles, soaps, and shampoos. I took my time with that last category, checking bottles just in case any might work for my hair-coated body. At home, we bathed in certain lakes set aside for such purpose, but since I'd spent years in Fairy boarding schools, I'd long grown accustomed to their washing options.
Pah. All these scents appeal to Fairies. Not that that was any surprise in a Fairy World mall. The scents were thin and mild, most of them related to anything except the fruit, nuts, trees, and floral scents that made up their pheromones. So it said, anyway. That left grassy, mossy, mushroomy scents… Swamp looked to be a popular favourite, out of stock. I picked up a couple bottles of Trampled Leaves and Burnt Tree Stump. I'd never tried Bath and Body Care brands before, but it couldn't hurt.
I wonder if I'll finish these off before or after Wanda and I leave our godkid. How curious.
I looped the shelves in search of Wanda, who'd gotten absorbed in various bottles I didn't recognise, but this section seemed to be for pheromone suppressants. Were we meant to hide those for our disguise? That wasn't on our checklist. She jumped when I picked up a bottle on the shelf beside her.
"I don't suppose we can charge any of these as a business expense like the cage, can we? What do we need these for?"
Wanda backed away, cheeks flaring up. "I don't see why it's your business in the first place… but if you must know, they're suppressants for my heat."
Her heat… I paused, bottle heavy in my hand. Hold the crystal ball. Are she and Blonda synced? I hadn't noticed. I mean… They're damsels- It's less obvious with them than Fairy drakes.
The common fairy subspecies crested the top of the fancy "Fairy social ladder" specifically because they had the most frequent and predictable heat cycles of any species. At least, according to the Eros family, and we know they work so very hard. As common fairies, Wanda and Blonda would come into heat for 18 months every 500 years…
It was hardly 6 months ago that Blonda invited me for lemonade and a subsequent outing of my choosing, and Wanda WAS being awfully snug with her boyfriend that whole time. "Oh," I said, not thinking. "That explains a lot." Which sank a stone halfway through my gut, which burned. Suppose Blonda didn't actually want me fooling around with her? Not in a genuine way, I mean. Suppose she only said that out of total desperation?
Knock it off, old sport… She made it very clear she's liked Anti-Fairies for a while; she said herself she admires our intellect more than violent Fairy culture and that she certainly doesn't want any sweaty drake coming up to her. I didn't share the sentiment, but I digress.
Wanda blinked at me, her jaw hanging crooked. "My being in heat 'explains a lot?'"
"Oh, no… No, no, no! I wasn't commenting on mood or behaviour- I simply meant…" I can't say that bit about Blonda. "I could tell. That's all, darling."
Wanda looked like she might say something else - something harsh - only to change her mind. "Forget it. Anti-Fairies don't have heat cycles; you wouldn't understand."
My grip tightened on the rat cage handle. I thought of 8-year-old Julius puzzling over mental maths, standing in the wreckage of the Anti-Eros tower with boxes of stillborn embryos, before I'd had That Talk they give to drakes around 140,000 about what happens when our counterpart's heat passes without fertilisation magic or a honey-lock at all… like chicken eggs laid unfertilised, with vessel body in place of egg.
I thought of the cramps that first ravaged me when I lived with Anti-Kanin, and how kind he was to let me wrap his neck and whimper against his skin. I thought of the curse of being what we are… parallel a race that shares their biology with insects and strange reproduction. Actually, the egg comparison isn't a bad one. Our unborn are just protein, devoid of magic. Never alive. And you have to do something with them in a society where a quarter of the population produces such things and food is always scarce.
Believe me, I thought darkly, you Fairies are not the only ones who slip so easily into a depressive state when your cycles pass without successful mating. Not every emotion Cosmo sends me goes unparalleled. We might handle our unpleasantries in ways that disgust each other, but you are not the only mourners in this world. And I'll not get to raise one of those unborn because I was born an anti-fairy. What right do your people have to tear that away from me? To leave me with fleshy things that never breathe?
But perhaps mostly, I thought of myself a wee bit older, stunned and shaking in the Eros Nest as Charite asked me whether my people still knew that once upon a time… there had been Anti-Fairies born before their counterparts. Once upon a time, the unborn we passed… had the capability of life at our command.
And all this ran through my mind, to say nothing of the novels you could fill with Cosmo Prime gripping my mental hair in his fists, yanking at me or shaking me back and forth by the mental collar across our bond. While Cosmo couldn't send words across our bond, it doesn't take more than a couple cycles to pick up on the I want a baby instant baldness treatment he emotionally gave my scalp. Though, to be entirely fair, I'd likely transferred the same whiny, desperate signals in his direction while waiting for Mona to turn her attention from her veterinary scrolls to me.
"You know," I said, "you might be surprised."
Wanda threw a look my way that I might describe as pure disgust. "Excuse me? You're not implying what I think you are. Are you?"
What? That I might take her during heat? "Good heavens, no… We Anti-Fairies only get that excited when we honey-lock. Unless of course you're offering." I smirked on those last words and brushed past her: long strides, wings sweeping, hands folded behind my neck. Confidence in my dominance indeed. Ha. Maybe I did know what Mickey Peridot once saw in me.
Move-in day came before we knew it. I packed my things, kissed Mona farewell at the tram station, and met Wanda at our new campus assignment. "Fairy-Wanda." I used my thumb to tip my crown. Then, like an afterthought, "You fairies have to be twenty minutes late to everything, don't you? No matter. I saved you a croissant. Care to take it off my hands?"
"I ate before I left," was her reply. She didn't even look at it twice.
We had 4 Carriage Corner in our triple-decker building with an exterior entrance all our own. I liked the number, a bit unlucky and just my style, though I'm not certain Wanda felt the same. We were far from the only folks moving into our new rooms that day, and the Academy had efficient workers hauling tail to make the transition as smooth as it could be. One particular satyr strode right towards us, twirling his wand. He checked our IDs and bags for basic contraband- Knives untouched by magic, forget-a-cin, excessive amounts of sugar, that sort of thing. He frowned when he looked through my things.
"And what's all this?"
"My prayer set," I said, showing him my colourful zodiac figurines. I'd wrapped them in cloth for travelling, each paired with its bonded mate. Pointing to the salts, spices, and other ingredients - like my vial of unicorn blood and jar of gryphon claws - I added, "My summoning supplies for Friday the 13th."
The satyr looked at me with pinched brows like he wasn't quite sure whether 'summoning supplies' were permitted in our room. I hardly blamed him- How often did he see an Anti-Fairy, let alone one who did more than basic field work? I held his gaze, putting out the best air of indifference I could muster. He asked me to wait a moment while he checked with his superior: "I'll be just a moment, Drk. Anti-Cosmo," he promised, and vanished in a cloud of dust.
I chuckled. Leaning over to Wanda, I whispered, "He called me 'Drk.'"
She shot me a sideways glance. "You don't get out of Anti-Fairy World much, do you?"
But soon enough, all our bags were gathered outside Apartment 4- Our clothes, textbooks, writing supplies, and all sorts of things we'd be relying on to get by. I'd yet to invest in a scrying crystal… Ah, should I? It hadn't seemed important when I'd lived in the Blue Castle, which had balls to spare. And when I'd travelled with other colonies, either the creche father took care of that or we went without, mingling at migration. I mean, living on your own was part of the appeal as a bachelor. A nice crystal certainly couldn't HURT, though… Perhaps I'd get one of those little ones you could wear on a necklace. They were getting quite popular and were easy to hold. A mite pricy, but it could come in handy were I ever swept off to the Eros Nest or arrested again…
Wanda and I had both brought our favourite snacks, though I didn't expect to like her fried butterflies (Nor she my raisins and ants). But we had discovered we both liked cinnamon and maggot bread, so that was something. Perhaps rooming with a fairy wouldn't be so bad. I watched the flip and swish of Wanda's wings as she bent to scoop a few bags from the hall into her arms. Sleek rainbows danced across their length, as they always did. She really was a pretty fae.
With a wave of my wand, I brought us both to the other side of the door with our things in hand; we took a solid look at the place since our early campus tours for the very first time. It looked… Nice, as a matter of fact. Not too dusty. The energy field sounded clear enough; no signs of stinky magic lurking in the corners, though I'd have to do a more thorough check as we unpacked. We had our own kitchen area, just beside the door. A bar counter. A decent sink. Beyond all that, our room featured a lovely sofa and three large windows overlooking the courtyard behind our building. Opposite the kitchen, on our right, hung a two-tone green tapestry with Carl Poofypants' logo stitched across it. Hmm… Sky energy at the windows. Leaves from the tapestry. Soil and Water in the kitchen. It wasn't the worst set-up. The walls were just buttery yellow enough, they balanced out the green. The place needed a little Fire energy to balance Sky, but beyond that, it wouldn't be a tough place to work with.
I wonder if there have been any other Anti-Fairies in Carriage Corner before me. Am I their first? Did they have students who study the zodiac and architecture prepare these units in advance?
Wanda and I would have separate rooms- Mine to the left, hers to the right. That left me nearest the kitchen pipes and drains, which I didn't mind- I was a Water year, after all. I liked to think Sunnie would be looking out for me. We'd still have communal bathrooms with the rest of our floor, which Wanda must have found incredibly annoying, because she brought that up three separate times as we unpacked. She'd brought most of the cooking supplies.
For my part, I'd invested in cleaning - brooms and window-washers - the way any Anti-Fairy would. You can't focus on schoolwork in a filthy environment, and I certainly didn't want to juggle a godchild on top of that. I figured I may as well take charge of trash elimination too… Simply imagining that Wanda wouldn't like being typecast as the one who would do it just because her father, Big Daddy, had the trash collection contracts for most of Fairy World. I planned to scrub any lingering dust and filth off the counters, but when I saw my assigned room, I paused.
"Erm…"
"What's wrong, scout?" Wanda asked without turning around, apparently having sensed my hesitant expression in that mysterious way of Seelie Courters.
"Ah, well, you see… It would appear they've provided me with a Fairy-style bed. I don't see a place in here where I can roost. Instead of a closet space, I'd been provided a short chest of drawers.
Wanda ventured over to my room, surveying it with new interest while I shifted my weight between my feet. "Well, uhh… I suppose we could bring the shower curtain rod out and set it up somewhere. With a bit of magic, anything is possible."
"Well, that will certainly drip magic dust on my head as the seams come apart." I glanced up at the ceiling and puffed out my cheeks. "It's much too cold in here for solitary roosting anyway. It's normally quite impractical to try wrapping myself in quilts and roost at the same time. I'll simply have to nest the Seelie way." I moved around my bed. With all my strength in my arms, I thrust my weight against the bed's edge and tried to slide it towards the door. It moved with scrapes and squeals, leaving marks in the carpet behind it. After catching my breath, I asked, "Would you terribly mind if I slept with you?"
Wanda froze. "What? What are you doing?"
I paused to straighten my wings and glance up at her. "Why, moving my bed over to your room, of course. It's rude to leave you all alone. Strange they would make this so difficult, though. Though granted, these beds do look like they were meant for couples." Or possibly groups of three.
Her eye twitched, fists tight at her sides. "Anti-Cosmo, I'm flattered, but I don't want to sleep with you. We're just partners for this one assignment."
"Oh, you misunderstand. I have no intention of acting affectionately towards you. I mean only to sleep with you tonight." I pointed again at the ceiling. "As I mentioned, it's much too cold to be alone on a night like this. I'm an Anti-Fairy, after all, and one who's suffered frostbite and gangrene multiple times over. Nasty stuff; a full rejuvenation in the Breath Temple barely shakes out the stiffness. My toes were cramped for years after. Ah, such are the joys and drawbacks of an ectothermic body and the instincts of communal sleepers; you know how it goes. Don't…" The longer I stared at her, at the way she stared back at me, the more uncertain I became. "You?" I finished.
Wanda scratched behind her neck in a way that quivered my wings. "Well, see… These big beds aren't just for couples. In Fairy culture, separate Fairies always sleep in separate beds. We only sleep together in the same one with, well… our husbands or wives. And some people only share a bed during heat."
I blinked. "Oh. Um. I suppose… that does make some practical sense, considering how warm your bodies are, and the risk of overheating if you were to sleep in large bundles the way we do." So… so did this mean, when I'd started pushing the bed, that she thought I intended to treat her as a wife? My claws twitched. "I'm terribly sorry, Wanda darling- I didn't realise this was… only meant for one. I just thought we might have some fun with a bed large enough, neither of us risked the other rolling across our wings. Oh, my… That's quite the number of beds, isn't it? One for each? Doesn't that seem excessive? Wherever do you keep them all?"
She laughed very dryly then in a way that reminded me both of Anti-Buster and the Head Pixie. "We'll have to catch up, maybe swap a few stories… We could do a whole culture Q ! You've been in school for ages though, right? Did you really never notice your roommates sleeping alone?"
"I… Well, they shared rooms. I mean, yes, I suppose… No. I'm afraid I didn't. Wanda, you must understand, Anti-Lance and I have always roosted together, and I've spent my recent semesters in the colony room. Early high school was ages ago. How long has it been since Waterberry v. Reddinski went through?"
Wanda laughed in good humour and helped me fix my bed. She said I could take one of her blankets, but I made a plan to ask the faculty for a spare quilt regardless. I didn't trust the look of this bed… and pressing my face up against a pillow all night sounded dreadful. Must I? All night?
With my basics settled in my room, my bowls and shared supplies tucked in kitchen cabinets, I collapsed on the sofa. Done and dusted! No procrastinating. Not bad for a man who'd be meeting his godkid in a few days' time. I kicked up my feet and folded my arms behind my head, nice and snug. When Wanda left her room a moment later, smelling of sweat and her hairs tugged loose from her tail, I grinned. "Now, darling, shall we go out to eat, or should we order in? Personally, I vote we split a cricket pizza."
"Don't call me 'darling.'"
Don't what? I sat up. "I call everyone 'darling.' I call my brother 'darling.' I call myself 'darling.' Isn't that right, Lohai darling?" (She didn't respond, tucked away in my room and bottled up.) "What, I do it for a decade and only now you're asking me to stop?"
Wanda's wings twitched. "At school, it was fine. But I'm not very comfortable with that pet name when it's just the two of us."
"All right… I'll lay off. But aren't you calling me 'scout' now?"
"That's… That's different."
I didn't see the distinction. Nonetheless… Peacemaker that I was, I did not dispute her. "What say we grab pizza to-go and eat in the courtyard?" I suggested instead, swinging myself off the couch. "I'd love to give those fire pits a look. Ta, I wish fire-making without magic wasn't exclusive to the Unwinged; it would be such a useful survival skill. You know, I went through a rebellious arsonist phase in my youth. I was quite the little scamp."
"Anti-Cosmo," she said. Her voice fell into a tone so soft, it made my wings prickle up. I rotated back to face her, slowly. Wanda stared across the living area, her eyebrows and lips both pressed together. Her expression wasn't angry, nor were her words. Instead, she gazed in silence. A little thoughtful, a little curious. She sat down on the short table and crossed her legs at the ankles. "Before we get too comfortable here, can we clear the air? I mean, we're going to be living together for a few years, after all."
… What's this about? A dozen thoughts scrambled through my head, tripping over themselves like my ancestor Sablewood on that ancient, ill-fated run through the canyon that still bore their name. Is this about Friday the 13th? Is it about my demon summoning? My sociosexual behaviour? For smoke's sake, I've already been warned for that a dozen times! … Is Wanda unhappy we were partnered up? But… her twin hadn't pursued godparenting, and Juandissimo had graduated years ago, only a transfer student at Carl Poofypants for one.
… Is this about Blonda? Did she suspect our study sessions were illicit rendezvous? Did she know about our plans? I hadn't passed along my filthy letters. Even Mona didn't know my deepest fantasies of flirting and flouncing with my secret lover, exploring Fairy World's finest courtship locations like a native to this world. Like the war had never happened. Like I'd grown up in Esterale, on this side of the Barrier wall.
I held her gaze and shot off a silent prayer to Dayfry himself that this conversation wouldn't lead down the path I thought it might. 'Damsel code' or not, she had no right to spill word of my time with Blonda to Mona's ear. Not that Mona's guiltless; I granted my blessing that she flirt with Anti-Blade over migration if he bothered to show up.
Okay… I drew my wings in, doing all I could to signal humility… meekness… Like I'm not about to rush off and take flight. Ah… With Wanda still watching, her pink eyes wide and silent, I slipped my hands into the pockets of my trousers and stepped back to the couch. Then I sat down.
"What did you want to talk about?" I managed. Mercifully, my voice didn't catch the way I most feared it would. Good smoke, Wanda was taking her time about this, wasn't she? The way her pink eyes studied me, boring into my soul, sent my core thumping all the way down to my windpipe. Ice crawled up in my cheeks. I pulled my legs onto the couch with me and folded them, drawing my hands from my pockets and wrapping them over my knees. My wings shook. I smoothed a wrinkle on my shirt.
No. She couldn't know. No one knew. And Wanda- we didn't even know each other well. Oh my gods, was I that obvious? An open book? Was Wanda simply that clever, or did everyone know what I thought I'd kept secret? Did she know?
Could I be expelled for this? Forget expulsion- what would Wanda think of me? If she really did know whose face played across my dreams at night, did she find me revolting? A creep? A freak of nature? Unnatural? An Anti-Fairy who couldn't help but admire…
The longer I turned that thought over in my head, the higher my panic spiked. Could she just ask this of me? Outright in this way? I can't duck out of here- That's rude as well. Am I entrapped? Can I feign I need the loo? I only just went. I turned my head away, blowing upwards at my bangs. My fangs gripped my lower lip. And still Wanda's hot eyes seared my neck.
"So, why did you join the godparenting program in the first place?"
I rotated my good eye back around to stare at her. Otherwise, I didn't move.
Wanda nodded. She dropped her gaze. "I'll go first. I'm here because I can't stand the thought of repetition. I'm not the type to settle down. I need a job where every day is something crazy and new. I need to meet lots of different godkids, and teach them things that their parents don't." Then she looked up again. "Your turn."
Quite funny, I thought. Anti-Wanda always said she didn't want to be tied down either. Privately, I think she only amuses Anti-Juandissimo as a hobby. I meandered in silence, then let go of my tongue. With a sigh, I faced Wanda head on. "Very well. I took interest in the program largely because I like the idea of challenging my genius with work few Anti-Fairies have ever embraced, but my motivation runs deeper than that. You see, Wanda, all Anti-Fairies are infertile unless reacting to the influx of another being's magic in our shared magic pool. My subspecies, however, is particularly capped off, as after my own counterpart demonstrated the horrors of the Cosma mutation, fairy drakes were sent in to have their tubes plugged up. That does put a damper on things for me, hm?"
"I know the feeling," she softly said. Ah, but did she? Did she really? It is fairy drakes, you must recall - not the damsels - who underwent the tube-blocking process. Wanda could reproduce with any other subspecies she chose. She was hardly as blocked from reproducing as I! I twisted up my lips, floating ever nearer. Wanda stayed on the table.
"Well? I long for a child of my own someday; I have no shame in that. I was denied fatherly affection when I lost the poor man young and I'd very much like to heal that absence in my life with living, breathing offspring. Now then, is that all you wanted to ask, darling? It seems we've had weeks now - Years, even - where this sort of thing could have come up, and I don't see why we couldn't have discussed this over pizza."
Wanda laced her fingers together and lay them in her lap. Again, she watched my face until I had to consciously resist the urge to fidget with my monocle. Then, quietly, she said, "Anti-Cosmo, I know this is a sensitive subject. I wouldn't normally go around asking this, but I think that if we're going to live together, it's important to talk."
And I stared at her, horrorstruck, as she played her last five cards:
"Do you like Seelie Courters?"
… No.
How… how could she possibly know that? Did her fairy senses read me that well? Had Blonda outed me? All at once, an icy wind blew against my chest and sent me thumping and rolling down a rocky cliff. I dropped to the sofa. No, no, no…
I curled my thumbs inside my fists, balancing my hands against my knees. I stared down at them, trying to remember - Recall! Without strain! - how to bring words together in order to form whole sentences. "U-um. 'Like' is such a strong word for it. I don't- I couldn't- How could you even think? … I mean, I'm a noble - gentledrake - Oh, gods." And suddenly I doubled over, my palms inseparable from my face. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so terribly sorry, Wanda, darling! Bloody smoke, it's all true. I'm a disgusting freak of nature. I know it!" Burning tears leaked down against my fingers. My nose tingled with sharp snot. "Oh, the shame of it… This curse binds my mind, possesses my thoughts, and I am nothing but enslaved!"
"Hey, hey." Wanda got up from the table and moved to the couch beside me. "Well, I sure can't speak for Anti-Fairy World, but these days, we Fairies try to shy away from terms like 'disgusting freak of nature.' I think the identity you're looking for is cross-exclusive. Or maybe cross-inclusive or exclusion-accepting… I mean, you're getting married to an Anti-Fairy."
I blinked.
I blinked a second time. I lowered my hands. Hot, boiling tears sizzled at my cheeks, but I rubbed them away with the back of my hand. Ah, no, no… How inappropriate. I took out my handkerchief. "Are… you saying there's… a word for me?"
… Were there other Anti-Fairies like me? I'd… not overthought it. Blonda was a rare curiosity. An exception. Unique. We all knew Anti-Bryndin and Shamaiin were sharing strokes, but they were so entangled in political favours, it didn't really count. And of course there had been Mickey, but he was into dominance, not Anti-Fairies in general, wasn't he? I never did ask him. I looked at Wanda, my brows pinched up like hers. I could feel the beat of my core all the way down to my fingertips and the edges of my wings. Could Fairy-Cosmo feel this? Did he know my life was changing, my fate shifting, right here before our eyes?
I'm not turned off by the thought of a cross-Court relationship… And I'm not the only one.
"There's a word for me," I said again, growing bolder now. "Well? Is that true? Do you know of anyone else who longs to discuss these feelings, openly share them- Oh, Wanda, my dove! I've never even dreamed…"
Oh my smoke. I have to find Dame Artemis. She was thrown out for loving who she loved, kissing who she kissed- Does she know about this? That there are others like us who've felt the bitter curse of impossible, unrepentable love?
Wanda hesitated, carefully shrugging her wings. Those beautiful, shimmering wings. "Well, I'm not… really involved in that world; scout. It's sort of the Eros domain, right? I'm your typical fairy- I've never fantasised of Refracts or Anti-Fairies."
And such a shame it was, too. How dull. Does Blonda know about this? I wondered next. She must, if even Wanda knew words and definitions, and my head spun like a lightning bolt around a racetrack. Every beat of my core leapt centaur hooves a mere breath above the blaze. There are more of me- More LIKE me- People I can talk with- Who won't leave me like Anti-Lance or Mona would!
"'Exclusion-accepting,'" I repeated. The word was clunky, but I loved it nonetheless; I drank it like a drug. "I… I've met a few folks across the years who might have called themselves that - I'm sad to say one of them died long before I could ask about it - but this… Oh, Wanda, it changes everything…"
"Do you know the community symbol?" Wanda sounded genuinely surprised that it hadn't crossed my path.
"There's a symbol?"
"I mean, there are lots of symbols. But they're kept under the radar on purpose; you know how the world is. I mean, my dad would flip if Blonda or I ever came home with an Anti-Fairy; let me tell you." She shook her head. "But if you're someone who's interested in Anti-Fairies, Fairies, and Refracts indiscriminately, the symbol to look out for is a blue jackalope with pink antlers and golden feathers."
"A wolpertinger?"
"That's it. If you see anyone wearing that… Well, now you know. Just don't bring it up in public. You know how it is."
Wolpertinger clothing… "'Wearing that-' Do you mean perhaps on a-"
"Like your sweatshirt," Wanda said, gesturing to my Carl Poofypants pullover. "Except instead of a school, it's the animal. Probably a small one. Something subtle."
"… I have to get this shirt." My wand hand itched to whip it into existence right then and there, but magical clothing never lasts and it itches so dreadfully. I somehow refrained. Somehow, though it bit and tore at my insides until I nearly howled or beat upon my chest. "Do you know the shop?"
"I'm not sure," she said, and sounded like she really didn't. I flung my eyes around in despair, but Wanda assured me I'd be the first to know if she tracked the source, and I contented myself with that. I thanked her and stood, brushing off my trousers and indicating (so I hoped) that I for one was more than happy to head out for pizza now. Wanda rose too, but stopped me with an outstretched hand. She touched me… right on the forearm.
"I hope that wasn't too direct… I just thought I should ask. And I'm not interested in Anti-Fairies."
"Oh no, that's perfectly all right, Wanda- I never dreamed this partnership would lead anywhere like that!" Now, I wouldn't be opposed to it… I firmly did not say so. My lips trembled, barely sheathing fangs, and I looked at her. I looked at her dearly, longingly, and tried not to stare too much at her wings.
Wanda started to turn, but I grabbed her arm and yanked her back around. For an instant, all I could see was her eyes… Pink, sweeping pools that drowned me and saved me time and time again. "Thank you," I whispered, forcing out my voice. "Oh Wanda, this means the universe to me. You don't understand. I didn't know. All this time, all these years, I thought… Well, I don't know what I thought. That is, all my life… my colony told me I have a lightning spirit in my head. I suppose I thought something went wrong." That I would never stop being Ilisa through and through. That thought stung my eyes. I would have loved this… That people can be this. That they can choose. Find partners. Live. Love. Follow their fated path. Make their own way outside the Eros walls.
And she smiled at me. She… she really did smile at me, in the most tender and generous way you've ever seen a Fairywinkle do. "If you still want to… I'd love some cricket pizza."
"It's not a date. We're godpartners. Oh Wanda, you must tell me everything you know! No, wait… Tell me everything about Fairies. Everything we Anti-Fairies never learn, even in our schoolwork- Reproduction and anatomy and culture… I want to know it all."
"Well, I don't know about that-"
"Yes, I suppose we will be in public… Let us shelve the topic for now." I raised my wand, offering in silence to anti-poof us both as far as my magic could get. "Well? How shall we plan to meet this godchild of ours? Mandelro's his name, if I'm pronouncing that right."
And with that, we were all business once again. A moment later found us out to order, swapping ideas back and forth on how we might approach Mandelro either in the publicity of a park or the privacy of his own home. First thing tomorrow, we'd pay a visit to his residence. I could be nothing but a rat, so rats we would be, scouting the area as best we were able to. I'd seen rats in Serentip before, so I had no doubts there would be others in Boudacia. And there were so many rats in the universe that I imagined His Glory Pérez would take no offence if I tweaked the anatomy just enough to better blend with the planet I made residence.
Wanda had her doubts we would blend in very well. "Their culture thrives on weapons, mines, and metal," she reminded me. "They're brutal- even their currency is made of knives!"
"Wanda, luv, I took the same advanced classes; I'm quite certain we'll get by. Are we not the brightest minds in our class? You with your excellent high-star marks, me the only Anti-Fairy to ever make it this far in Fairy school? … We'll blow them all away. What could possibly go wrong?"
"Oh, I hate that line of thinking. You know I can't resist taking every possibility into account, and even then, the way things go is never the way I thought."
"Don't I know it, luv?" But tonight, I forced my nerves at bay… For tonight, we had us. Anti-Cosmo Anti-Cosma, I thought, following Wanda to our table. We waited a decent 20 minutes or so, but when it arrived, the cricket pizza smelled divine. I'd ordered extra aphids; Wanda had avoided ladybugs on my luck-averse behalf. It was warm, sauce-filled, and delicious… Even if I'd never been a fan of cheese. But why not experiment tonight? After all, I'm celebrating big.
"Maybe I will get a soda," Wanda mused, studying the menu. "I could stick to chocolate milk… but it's not every day I move to a new place and plan to meet a new godkid."
"If you drink light, we could scout Mandelro's place as early as tonight."
"I can hold my sugar." Still, she gazed longingly at something I couldn't make out from my position. Her finger traced the unseen words. "I'd give my wings for something dark and carbonated right about now. Are you getting anything? I feel weird drinking alone."
"Ha. The offer is appreciated, but I don't drink."
"I do," Wanda said, and ordered the cola she had in mind. I shook my head, terribly amused and not all that surprised. Oh, Wanda… Sugar held command over her like the sparkle on her wingtips had over me. She drank a little too much and we opted to stay in our room after all, but perhaps that was just as well. I took my time unpacking my things, placing them nicely, and balancing proper karma throughout my bedroom. I even blocked off my door and let Lohai from her lantern a while. Her belly hung so heavy with unborn genies, she could hardly float. Instead, she rested on my bed like a snake as I caught her up on the events of my day. But I didn't share what Wanda had told me about liking Fairies across Court boundaries. No…
If Lohai turned against me, or outed my secret thoughts to Mona, I should never recover.
"Are you well?" I asked, doing my best to look over her health. I'd learned quite a lot about genies over the years, but Lohai remained my primary reference. With few others to compare to, my knowledge remained a mite limited. All the more reason to help them find each other. To help them breed. In answer to my question, Lohai curled tighter around my pillow, hiding most of her belly from sight.
"I wish he'd been a nicer buck. I still see him in my nightmares, Papa… His face lined and rugged. His hands gnarled and grabbing… If he'd been sweeter, I would have minded less. I hate that he's father to my little sparks."
"I'm… so sorry, Lohai. I was in the enclosure when the cherubs took you away. There was nothing I could do."
"We are not so different," she said, resting her head. Poor thing. She looked exhausted. I'd been overproviding her food, knowing from her last pregnancy how badly she needed to fatten up for her nursing years; she'd be going into hiding in the wild, never leaving her fragile babies for a lightning snap. "You too will someday mate someone you might not love… or may not even know."
"Yes… And it may not be much longer. I'm in my 160-thousands. Fairy-Cosmo would need his mother's permission to marry, but it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility. He has his adult wings. He could mate any day now. Perhaps he already has; I certainly wouldn't be the wiser. At least, not until three months after." Beyond perhaps a spike in his thought ripples, I doubted I would feel his sensual escapades. Our core-sync was uneven, granting him a much larger cut of the magic pool than I had. Our bond didn't transfer over that well.
… Sigh. Another day, another week without a return letter from Fairy-Cosmo. No word of his romantic pursuits. No word of his lifelong plans. Why, at this rate… I may as well track down his residence and invite myself in for tea.