March 21, 2009
How would you feel if you woke up one morning and you were someone else?
I wanted adventure, but this wasn't what I had asked for.
But let me start at the beginning. That's where all good stories start.
I woke up Sunday morning on a park bench.
I don't remember going to sleep here, I thought, sitting up. Wait a second. Where do I remember going to sleep? Who am I?
Elaine Steffon, daughter of Earnest and Jo Steffon, I remembered. And I'm in Japan. But I remember going to sleep in America. What's going on?
I looked around. It was early morning. I was on the edge of a forest. I looked at my clothes for the first time. A school uniform that looked slightly familiar.
I wonder what the rest of me looks like, I thought. This must be a dream.
I sighed, and wondered into the woods. I stumbled upon a garden. It was all so familiar, but I couldn't grasp where I had seen all of this before…then I saw him.
Yukio Okumura. From Blue Exorcist.
"Lia?" he exclaimed, dropping the basket of strawberries he was holding.
I opened my mouth to say my real name, but for some reason, the name Lia fit in this place. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
"When did you get back?" he asked, excited suddenly. "Where will you be staying?"
"I—I…Yukio…I don't remember…" I finally managed, feeling like an idiot.
His expression changed in an instant. He crossed the garden and grabbed me before I could fall. I lost consciousness, and I'm assuming he carried me.
I'm lying on the bed in the guest room, writing this in the journal from my backpack. I also found something else in the backpack that might be a clue: a passport with my real name on it. Elaine Steffon.
Mephisto showed up, so I had to put away my journal. He found me examining my passport.
"Lia," He said gently. "What are you doing out of the hospital?"
I had a flashback after the word hospital.
***.
The long hallway, the rooms with the twin beds…my room mate. She hated me. I ran from her threats to the isolation rooms. It was the only place I was safe. I kept telling myself: I'm not crazy. I'm not like them. They'll let me out. I'll go home.
"Lia!" Mephisto waved a hand in front of my face.
Suddenly I was terrified that he was here to take me back.
"N-No! Get back!" I yelled, jumping up and backing off. "You'll never take me back!"
Those memories…they were Lia's…not mine, but they felt like mine. The real me had been locked up the same way, but not for two years, just a week. But that was torture enough.
I slid down the wall, hugging my knees, sobs shaking my body. Mephisto put a hand on my shoulder.
"Calm down, Lia," he said in the same gentle voice. "I was sent to give you your medicine. Are you going to take it this time, or do I have to force feed you like I used to?"
The memory of being force fed was not a good one, and besides, the pills were the same ones I took at home. Home. Would I ever go back?
"I-I'll take them," I said, and I dry-swallowed them. "My name is Elaine. And I'm from America. You aren't my family. And I wasn't in the hospital for two years."
"Lia…" Mephisto put his hands up and backed off from me like he thought I would hit him. Maybe I would. I was really frustrated. "Lia. You hit your head. You can't remember who you are. You must have escaped from the hospital and changed your name and lived with an American family for a while. And now you're here, which must mean you were drawn here because of New Years. We always had trouble with you trying to escape around this time."
"Mephisto, I want to go to America," I said. "I want to live with Earnest and Jo Steffon. My real parents."
"I have decided that you will remain at True Cross, in the dorm with Rin and Yukio Okumura," Mephisto said, packing his bag. "He said he'll lock you up somewhere close by if you run away again. Please don't."
"But I'm not Lia!" I exclaimed, tears running down my cheeks. "Mephisto. You didn't want me here before. Why do you want me now?"
I remembered being little, and being forced into a plane, and taken away from my parents. I remember that they were happy to see me go. I was the crazy girl. No one cared what happened to me.
"All of the exorcists are boing to be together now," Mephisto replied.
I glared at him. "What am I?"
"You are my little angel," replied Mephisto, and then he was gone.
Angel? I thought. How can I help Rin like this? Will I have visions? Can Angels even TOUCH demons?!
Yukio came in. "Are you alright, Lia?"
"Don't call me that," I snapped. I was sitting in the corner, head propped on my knees, glaring at him. I calmed down after a second. "I'm sorry, Yun. You can call me whatever name you know me by best. Can you tell me how you knew me…as a child, I mean?"
"Well…" Yukio blushed for some reason. He sat down beside me, and told me the story. "You were beautiful, and then you turned thirteen. You went crazy. You wouldn't listen to anyone, not even Dad. Demons still hurt you, though. Dad had to lock you up, hide you…but instead of breaking, you attacked anyone who came near you. They said they had to use tranquilizers to knock you out. Then you disappeared. When you were around sixteen, Mephisto said…he sent you to a mental institution in America."
I nodded, these things clicked. "But, Yun, did you ever meet me?"
He blushed again. "When we were eight. You came to the church, and you visited me. You said not to worry, that I would be able to play outside soon."
I nodded again. "I'm glad. Why didn't you look for me?"
"No one knew where you were," Yukio said. "And we weren't allowed to speak your name."
I rolled onto my knees and hugged him. He stiffened for a second (not used to hugs!), then hugged me back.
"Thank you for bringing me here," I said. "You don't know how scared I was. I thought I'd never make it."
"What are you here for, exactly?" Yukio asked, breaking the hug.
"New Years. And I miss everyone," I replied.
"Well, I guess I'll sleep here," I said finally.
"Stupid Rin won't even say hello to you," Yukio was muttering.
"What was that?" Rin came down the stairs in a second, and his inevitable punch directed at Yukio was dodged. Yukip punched him in return.
I tried to make myself smaller.
"I'll let him say hi," Yukio said. "Goodnight, Lia."
"Night," I said, shaking.
Yukio went upstairs.
"Come back here, you!" Rin yelled. "I wasn't finished!"
"Rin," I said.
He turned. "What?"
When he saw me, his expression softened. "Lia. Do you remember me?"
"Um…Rin Okumura, half demon," I replied. I left out the part about Satan, because I wasn't sure I was supposed to know that.
All of a sudden, I had another crazy flashback.
I was a kid, and I was sitting on a bench at the church. I was watching Rin cook. All of a sudden, I met eyes with him and I heard him ask Fujimoto, "Who is that pretty girl?"
My eyes had narrowed instinctively. I had hated being judged based on my looks. Mephisto had punished me for being "pretty" my whole life.
Rin had come over to me, however, and said, "Dad wanted to know if you would like to join us."
My harsh glare had softened. I had wanted to join them. But I had a problem.
"I'm sorry," I had said. "I…I have no cooking skill. I could never learn to do it myself. But I'd like to learn more about it. You're really good, will you show me?"
Rin's eyes had widened at the complement. He had started talking really fast about everything related to cooking, and I had listened with genuine interest. We were fast friends.
We had gotten even closer when we each found out each other's secret powers.
But something had happened. I couldn't remember. But that something had ended our relationship. And shortly after that, I was locked away. But why? Why did I go crazy? What had happened?
"Yeah. But do you remember what happened when we were little?"
I didn't remember. Not that I didn't try. "Rin, I'm sorry. It's not just you, I can't remember anything really."
"Are you still crazy?" he asked.
I winced. "I'm not…" I wanted to yell back, maybe say remind him that he was one to talk…but I couldn't bring myself to hurt him. In the manga, he had always been my favorite. "Rin, you know I'm not crazy. How bad was this thing that happened when we were little? Did I hurt you? If I did I'm sorry, I-"
"I…don't think it was bad," he replied, blushing. "We were little. Just forget it."
"Rin…" I began, but I couldn't finish. "Good night."
I stood, and hugged him. He was as shocked as Yukio was. I expected him to push me away, or yell at me, but he didn't.
I let go quickly. He turned and left the room, but not before saying, "Goodnight."
Xxx
Rin lay down in his bed.
His first thought was, She…hugged me. Why did she do that?
He remembered the first time he saw Lia.
She had been such a pretty girl, but she looked dangerous, vicious. When she was young she usually wouldn't talk to anyone. So when his Dad told him told him to talk to her, and not to judge her, he didn't know what to do. But he talked to her, and she admired him.
He remembered the fateful day they had stopped being friends, too. He shook his head. No…he didn't want to think about that. He would start having nightmares again.
But then her words from that day popped into his head again. "I don't regret it."
Why? He thought. Why didn't you regret it?
He was just falling asleep when another thought came into his head. Is she really crazy?