LISA —
..
I toss and turn all night, thinking about Jennie. Thinking about the fullness of her lips. The grace of her movements, even when she was storming away from me. The length of her slender legs. The curve of her neck. She's every bit as beautiful as she was before, if not more so.
The train of my thoughts travels straight to my sex-deprived dick. I haven't been with anyone in a long time. I haven't felt even the slightest amount of attraction to any of the women who've pretty much thrown themselves at me. I used to be able to at least get it up for them, but not these days.
It's like he—my dick—isn't interested in life anymore. And I can't say I blame him.
But he's all about Jennie tonight. The more I think about her, the harder I get. I haven't whacked off to thoughts of her in a long time, but I think I'm about to break my Jen abstinence, as I've come to call it.
I had forbidden myself from thoughts of her when my dick was involved. It wasn't good for me. It messed with my head too much. But tonight, that's flying out the fucking window because my fist is wrapped around my cock, jerking furiously as I picture her flushed cheeks when she was telling me off earlier.
It doesn't take long for my balls to tighten, then my come is coating my lower abs. I reach for the box of tissues on the bedside table and wipe myself clean. I need to get some sleep if I'm going to make a good impression with Victor in the morning.
I wonder how Victor would feel about hiring me if he knew I just whacked off to thoughts of his granddaughter. Hell, I wonder if he will want to hire me if he finds out about our past.
I'm thankful I stopped drinking the champagne when I did, even though I really wanted to down a few more glasses when I got cornered by the handsy cougar. A shiver runs down my spine just thinking about her—and not in a good way.
When I got back to my suite, I promptly stuck my fingers down my throat to rid my system of the alcohol that remained. Then, I smashed a few glasses of water and some Tylenol in the hopes that it would lessen the effects of the inevitable hangover.
..
When my alarm goes off, I roll over and swat at the bedside table until I find it. I want to sleep all day. That was one of the worst nights I've had in a long time. But I get my ass out of bed and shower before dressing for breakfast with Victor. I can't let this opportunity pass me by. Not because working with Victor could propel my career to even greater heights, but because it will mean seeing Jennie.
After last night, I don't want to go back without her. I haven't felt so alive in a long time. And now I know why. It was her. It was always her. Deep down, I knew what was missing, but I didn't want to admit it because wanting her—no, needing her—is selfish.
She said some fucking hurtful things, but I'm pretty sure she didn't mean them. It's not in her nature to be deliberately hurtful. Well, it never used to be. And I intend to find out if that's changed or if she's still my Jennie on the inside as well as the outside.
It's right on eight o'clock when I walk into the hotel restaurant and the attendant leads me down the back to a table by the window—but it's empty. Before I can question her, she says, "Mr. Kim just popped in to say good morning to the kitchen staff. He'll be out shortly. Can I get you anything while you wait?"
Her eyes are roaming over my entire body, and I know what that look means. "Coffee, thanks," I say then look out the window, letting her know I'm done with her.
A different server brings my coffee out a few minutes later. "Here you go, Ms. Pran. I saw some of your work in the gallery when it was being set up. You're really amazing."
I try to make my smile as un-awkward as possible, but I'm not good at accepting praise of any sort, not even about my work, so it comes across as more of a grimace. "Uh, thanks," I say, then, thankfully, Victor walks up to the table, saving me further embarrassment.
The server jumps when Victor approaches. "Oh, good morning, Mr. Kim." She glances at me like we were just doing something inappropriate then back to Victor. "Can I get you anything?"
"I'll have tea, thank you, Marcy. I've already organized our breakfast with Pedro," he says, dismissing her.
When he says the name Pedro, I snort, and when Marcy is on her way, Victor asks, "Did I miss the joke?"
My eyes widen. I can't exactly tell him I used to call my dick Pedro back when I was boning his granddaughter. So, I lie—or at least I try to. "Just the name. It's, uh …" I'm searching for something to say and coming up blank.
Victor grins. "It's your pecker's name, isn't it?" he says, his eyes alight with mirth.
I choke on my coffee. Grinning, I hang my head. "It was—a long time ago. He doesn't really have one anymore," I tell him. And I'm not sure why I elaborated, but whatever.
Victor frowns. "How can he not have a name anymore? Who changes the name of their goods? It's the same as naming a baby. Once it's done, it's done," he says.
I chuckle. "Okay." I get his point, but I'm a little weirded out that I'm sitting here discussing the name of my dick with Jennie's grandfather.
He loses the frown and cracks a smile. "Well, that's not exactly how I planned on starting this meeting."
"I wasn't expecting it either, sir, but I'll roll with it," I tell him.
Victor keeps laughing. "I needed a good laugh, so at least that's been accomplished this morning. But now, business." His expression changes when he says that, and it's like he's put on his serious face.
I nod. "Right, business."
Over the next hour, we eat the best eggs Benedict I've ever had, with crunchy bacon and avocado, and discuss me staying on to deck out the hotel with my work.
He's pretty much giving me free rein over what pieces to use, with the exception of one particular piece. He wants The One, The Only to have the feature space in the lobby. I am sure he is going to say something about the resemblance to Jennie, but he doesn't.
I'll be staying in my suite until I've finished my work here. It shouldn't take me more than a week, but I don't see Jennie softening toward me in such a short time, so I'm going to do the only thing I can do and drag it out as long as possible.
Since it's Sunday, I decide I'm not going to start today, which fits in with my plan. No weekends or after-regular-hours work to be done. Instead, I duck back up to my room and grab my satchel so I can go exploring around the city again.
I really enjoyed myself yesterday, and I'm looking forward to getting lost behind my lens. Popping in one earbud, I press play on a random playlist then slide my phone in my pocket while I wait for the elevator to arrive.
When the silver doors slide open, I see her. Jennie. She's standing in the middle of the elevator, alone, in a pair of stretchy black pants and a crop-top thing that makes her breasts look amazing and plump while leaving her midriff bare. I barely resist drooling at the sight of her, but the elevator doors sliding closed before I've even stepped inside snaps me out of my trance.
Shaking my head, I enter and stop right in front of her, looking down into her beautiful catlike eyes as she stares back up at me. She doesn't move away, which I take as a good sign, but then she says, "I see Kai didn't rearrange your face on a bathroom break last night."
I rear back slightly. "What?"
She raises a brow. "Your pretty face is still intact, so I guess Kai kept his distance like a good boy."
My eyes narrow. "Your boyfriend wanted to have a go at me?"
She smiles up at me. "Yep."
"Why?" I grit out.
Jennie snorts. "Why wouldn't he?"
Damn, I've missed that little snort. She's so goddamn gorgeous. That little sound alone makes me shake off the comment about her boyfriend. I don't want to talk about him right now. I've only got her cornered here for a few more seconds, so I use it.
I step closer and closer until I've backed her against the far mirrored wall of the steel structure as it descends. Once she's flat against it, I take another half step so I'm only just touching her, and it feels so damn good. I want to crush my body against hers and kiss her senseless.
But I don't. I have some self-control—until I notice the shift in her breathing and the pink tinge spreading over the tops of her breasts and up her sweet neck. My resolve starts slipping, so I take a quick step away from her tempting body. My dick is already responding from that slight amount of contact. "Bet the boyfriend can't turn you on with so little effort," I say, trying to cover my almost lapse.
She glares at me. "You think I'm turned on? Pl-ease."
There's the attitude I've missed so much. "Oh, you are definitely turned on. In fact, I bet if I slid my hand inside your panties right now, I'd be able to feel just how wet you are for me."
Her eyes widen. "No, I'm not," she snaps then crosses her arms under her breasts for good measure.
It doesn't help the situation I have going on in my pants right now, but I push on. Tilting my chin, I lean down, bracing my hands on either side of her, then I gently nudge her throat with the tip of my nose. Her breath hitches, and she automatically slants her head back for me.
I trace the edge of her jaw up to her ear and whisper, "You're still mine, Jen." Then, the elevator dings, and the doors begin sliding open. Pulling back from her, I smile then walk backward until I'm standing in the lobby, and she's still pressed against the back wall.
I watch her chest heave. She's a hot mess, and I fucking love it. I stand there until the doors slide closed again, and only when she's completely out of view do I walk away with Blink 182 singing "First Date" in my ear. And I realize … I never took her on a date.
I smile. I need to fix that.
..
The sun is setting, and I find myself on the rooftop of a random building in the middle of the city, watching it from behind my lens. The colors merge seamlessly—purples, pinks, and oranges. It's stunning watching dark storm clouds roll in at the same time as these colors bleed through the sky.
Perched on the side of the brick building, I patiently wait for the perfect shot. And then, a bolt of lightning flashes in the distance, and I take it. Then, I check the viewfinder to make sure I caught it. I did.
Satisfied with the image, I head back to the hotel. I can smell the coming rain in the air, and it puts a smile on my face, the scent reminding me of my last night with Jennie.
I don't quite make it all the way back before the sky opens up. But I don't mind. The satchel I keep my camera in is waterproof for this very reason. I love being out in the rain. I feel like it's washing away all the shit I don't want to think about as it slides over my skin and onto the pavement below me.
There's a small park across the road from Kim Plaza, and I detour into it instead of returning to the hotel. I find a bench and sit. The park is empty except for a few people scurrying away, huddled under their umbrellas, trying to escape the downpour.
I close my eyes and turn my face up to the sky, enjoying the feel of each droplet as it makes contact. This right here. This is my happy place.
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JENNIE —
..
I could seethe rain clouds rolling in, and I immediately felt relieved. I've been a clusterfuck of hormones and emotions all day, thanks to Lisa and her little performance this morning. Then, when I met Grandfather for lunch and he told me he had hired Lisa, I wanted to cry. I won't be able to withstand another run-in like that.
I keep reminding myself I'm a fucking fierce dolphin constantly, but it isn't helping.
The moment I saw the rain begin to pelt the glass windows of my suite, I set out for the park across the road. It's my go-to place when it's raining. Everyone else leaves, and it's just me sitting there, enjoying the peace that settles over me. And I need it desperately today.
I take the entry directly across from the hotel entrance and make my way down the winding cobblestone path, but I pull up short of my bench. Someone is sitting in my spot. I narrow my eyes. It can't be. But as I edge closer, I realize it definitely is.
The high I'd gotten the second I stepped out into the rain slowly begins to deflate, and I sigh.
Lisa's head drops, and her eyes snap open, coming to focus on me. She doesn't say anything, but she slides over to the end of the bench then gestures for me to take the other side with a sweep of her hand.
There are other benches I could go sit on, but for some stupid reason, I don't want to.
Closing the distance between us feels better than it should. I don't want to be around her, I remind myself. She hurt me. She hurt me so bad. But being this close to her feels too good. What is wrong with me?
I sit on the far end of the bench, but our eyes never lose contact. She watches me as keenly as I'm watching her. I look for clues as to who she is now. My eyes slide down her face, her shoulders are wider than before. Her wet black T-shirt is plastered to her body, and it leaves nothing to the imagination.
She's defined. I can see it in her rippling abs, and my eyes follow them down. My throat goes dry just thinking about it. I force myself to continue cataloging her features instead of lingering on my old favorite.
Her light-wash denim jeans are soaked through, and her shoes are soggy. She's been out here for a while, then.
I wonder what she's doing. I mean, it's not a normal thing for people to do. My family thinks I have a screw loose when I drop everything to go stand in the rain, but there is no better therapy than letting the deluge wash away your sorrows. And if that doesn't work, screaming into the downpour as the rain takes your tears with it usually does.
We continue to sit in silence, and it's not awkward like I expected.
Eventually, my gaze wanders to my surrounds. I let the crisp smell of the rain and earth sooth me, and I relax back into the bench, enjoying this little slice of peace in my otherwise hectic life.
I keep myself crazy busy. When you're busy, you don't have time to think about your own issues, just the ones provided by the job. And that's how I like it. It means I can pretend I'm happy with my life. I can pretend I'm not lonely. I can pretend I don't still love the woman sitting next to me.
A single tear falls from my eye, and I don't bother wiping it away, knowing the rain will take it with it.
The truth is, I forgave Lisa a long time ago.
I knew why she left before I woke up. She would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, but waking up alone was … I can't even describe how it felt. Hurt isn't a strong enough word—that much I do know.
I can't go through that again. I know I wouldn't survive it again, and throwing myself into work wouldn't save me from my thoughts this time—not with pieces of her covering the walls of the hotel. Abruptly, I turn to face her. "What do you want?"
She stares at me wordlessly for a minute then licks her wet lips. "The only thing I've ever wanted."
Shaking my head, I ask, "That's not good enough. What do you want with me?"
She can hear the plea in my tone, because her face crumples slightly, and I can see my pain reflected at me in her eyes. But I have to say it, because if she's going to be around for a while, I need her to know. "You broke me, Lisa. I have missed you every single day for the last five years, but you broke me." I pause. My emotions are so close to the surface my voice shakes as I speak.
Lisa slides across the bench until she's pressed into my side, and she takes my face in her palms. "I'm so fucking sorry, Jen." She's close enough that I can feel the warmth radiating from her body, and I lean into her, seeking comfort.
She pulls me into her side, slinging one arm around my shoulders. With the other, she takes my hand and interlocks our fingers. Our hands fit together perfectly. Just like I tuck into her side perfectly. We're puzzle pieces finding their home.
But I can't allow myself to think of her as home. Home is supposed to bring feelings of safety and security. Lisa brings back feelings of loss and emptiness.
..
LISA —
..
The rain has set in for the day, and if I were alone, I would happily sit here for another hour. But Jennie is trembling in my arms, and it's not because of the cold—it's because of me.
Not for the first time, I question if I did the right thing by leaving when I did. "Jen," I murmur, "I didn't want to hurt you. You know that, right?"
I feel her nod against my shoulder. "Yeah, I know."
"Come on, I should get you home. Where do you live?"
She lifts her head and looks up at the hotel looming above the park. "There," she says.
I frown. "Why do you live at the hotel?"
"I work long hours. It's easier," she explains.
I don't like the idea of her working so much that she needs to live where she works. But I'm in no position to say as much, so I just nod. "Okay, I'll walk you up."
When we stand, I want to keep my arm wrapped around her shoulders. But she takes a deliberate step away from me, letting me know that she let me hug her a minute ago, but it doesn't change anything.
All is quiet in the lobby when we walk in, except for the sounds of our shoes squeaking and sloshing across the pristine tiles. We get a few curious looks as we trudge over to the elevator bank on the far side of the room. Water pools at our feet while we wait for the next available one to open.
We're the only two people in the elevator as it glides up inside the building, and I hate that she's so close to me and I can't touch her. The tension filling the small space is almost suffocating. I want that contact with her so badly.
Right as I'm about to say fuck it and slam her against the wall, the elevator dings, and the doors slide open. "This is me. Good night, Lisa," she says without so much as a backward glance, then she walks out and down the hall.
When the doors slide closed again, I hit the button for the sixteenth floor and lean against the rear wall as I wait. A wave of exhaustion washes over me, and I'm ready to call it a night.
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