LISA —
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Chaeng flies home this morning, and I'm supposed to be flying with her, but even if I wanted to let this opportunity slip by me, Chaeng wouldn't let me.
"I was trying to help, Lisa. I'm sorry it didn't go how I thought it would." She sighs. "When I put it all together, I thought I was doing a good thing—for both of you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that girl is lonely, and you …" She eyes me with that knowing look. "Well, we both know you have never moved on."
Once I got over the initial shock of Chaeng doing all this behind my back, I knew she wasn't trying to be vindictive, and the feeling of betrayal passed. "I know."
Her eyes glass over. "Forgive me?"
I shake my head and pull her in for a hug. "There's nothing to forgive." I press a kiss to the top of her head then lean back, tipping her chin up to see her face. "I know you only want what's best for me. I was just surprised."
A small apologetic smile lifts her mouth. "All the same, I'm sorry if I've messed things up between you two. At the time, I couldn't think of a better way to get you both in the same room."
I chuckle. "Seriously, Chaeng, it's okay. I'm over it." She raises a brow, and I continue, "Over it, not her. I know. I can't leave without her again. Not unless she tells me to."
Chaeng smiles wider. "Good." She checks her watch. "Okay, I have to go, or I'll get stuck in traffic for too long and miss my flight." Looking at me, she touches my cheek. "Get her back, Lisa. You've been lonely for too long."
I watch her leave then turn to go back up to my room, but I see Jennie standing in the far corner near the restaurant. And if I'm not wrong, she looks jealous.
When she catches my stare, she blushes and turns her back to me then scurries into the restaurant. If I had the time to win her back slowly, I would give her some space to get her head straight, but I don't. The longer it takes to win her back, the less I get to enjoy having her wrapped in my arms.
Striding into the restaurant, I'm greeted by the same girl from the previous morning.
"I'm fine. I'm meeting someone," I tell her as I continue right on by her. She frowns after me, but I barely notice as I scan the room for my girl.
I spot her sitting at a small table for two in the back corner and waste no time in making my approach. "Good morning," I say as I take the seat opposite her.
Her eyes widen. "Uh, what are you doing?"
"Having breakfast with you. What's it look like?"
She frowns. "It looks like you're stalking me."
I scoff. "We're staying in the same building, and there's only one place to have breakfast here. It's not that sketchy that we're eating in the same room."
Her eyes narrow. "I'll give you that, but there are plenty of empty tables for you to sit at, so off you go."
Shaking my head, I smile. "No, thanks. I like this one. It's got a great view." I know she's fighting a smile right now. I can see it in her eyes. "Just let me have breakfast with you. What will it hurt?"
She licks her lips then chews on her bottom lip for a moment as she thinks. Finally, she sighs. "Fine. But keep your hands to yourself."
Holding my hands up in front of me, I happily agree. "Deal. But just so you know, you can put your hands wherever you want."
Finally, she lets that smile out, and I want to shout in victory. I've missed it so damn much it makes my chest tighten seeing it again.
"You can't look at me like that either," she states.
Grinning like a fool, I ask, "Like what?"
She points at my face. "Like that. You can't look at me like that."
"Why not?" I press.
She snorts. "Because that look is not for me anymore."
I close my eyes and shake my head. "It's only ever been for you."
She goes quiet for a minute, and just as she's about to say something, a server approaches our table. "What can I get you this morning, Miss Kim?"
Jennie looks up at the girl, confused. "The same thing I have every day, Sharni."
The chick looks chagrined. "And for you, Ms. Pran?"
Jennie glares at her. "She'll have the same."
The server shifts her gaze between us a couple of times then nods and leaves us. I chuckle. "What was that about?"
Jennie shrugs. "Who knows?"
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JENNIE —
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I should have told her to leave me alone, but I didn't.
I should have let Sharni flirt with her, but I didn't.
I should just get up and sit somewhere else, but I won't.
Why is she so pretty? I kind of wish I had let Kai mess up her face the other night. Maybe then I wouldn't like looking at her so much.
When I got back to my room last night, I had to force myself not to pick up the phone and call her room. Being in her arms again felt too good. I haven't felt like that since she left. Nobody has ever had the effect on me that she does. And as soon as those elevator doors slid closed behind me, I was reminded of just how lonely I am.
Her voice penetrates through my thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing," I lie.
She scratches the side of her neck, just like she used to when she was nervous or unsure of herself. "Is it really so bad seeing me again?"
I want to say, Yes, yes, it is. I hate you and wish you'd leave me alone. But I can't. Because the truth is, seeing her again has made me feel more alive than I have since she walked away. When she left, I retreated into myself. I stopped hanging out with my so-called friends. But really, I'd stopped spending time with them when I'd started spending it with her.
All the same, I didn't go back to the girl I was before her. It felt like so much effort to keep pretending I wasn't smart, pretending I liked watching Sex in the City marathons, and playing hard-to-get for guys I wouldn't let near me in a million years because I had zero interest in them.
Lisa is watching me intently, waiting for my answer, and I sigh. "I suppose it's not that bad. I just didn't expect it, I guess."
She nods. "You and me both, but I can't say I'm not happy about it."
That makes me frown. "Why? I don't get it. Why are you so happy to see me?"
Now she's the one frowning. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Placing my elbows on the table, I prop my head on my joined hands. "Let me see. You left me, you never called, you went as far as to leave your phone in the tent … oh, and let's not forget that you left before I even woke up. All that points to never wanting to see me again in my book."
She closes her eyes, and I watch as her chest deflates. "I thought a clean break would be easier for both of us. That's why I left the phone."
I raise an expectant brow. "And leaving before I woke up?" I've decided it's long past time I got answers, and if she's going to be around for a little while, I'd rather get it out of the way so I can let it all go like water under a bridge.
She grimaces. "I didn't mean to. I mean, I wasn't planning to leave without waking you. But I had lain there for a full hour, watching you sleep, trying to think of how to say goodbye. And I just couldn't do it. I couldn't say the words. So, I kissed your forehead, whispered in your ear that I loved you, and left."
My heart has been a splintered mess since that morning, and her confession somehow helps it heal a little. While I'm absorbing everything she just said, she speaks up again. "Did you like your gift?"
Ah, yes, my gift. When I saw it sitting on the pillow Lisa had used the night before, I knew she wasn't coming back to say her proper goodbyes. I wanted to throw it in the stream, but I couldn't do it. It virtually had her name written all over it. And I have cherished it ever since.
"I loved it," I say, hoping she doesn't hear the lump forming in my throat.
She smiles. "I'm glad. I always wondered."
"Well, now you know. Nice color choice, by the way." I grin, knowing exactly why she chose it.
Her eyes light up. "I knew you would. That camera mixed my favorite things about both of us. My love of photography and your mint-green lacy panties." She's full-on grinning now, and I can see heat slowly filling her eyes.
"Don't say it," I warn.
She feigns innocence. "What?"
"I know what you're thinking. Stop."
Her grin is downright sinful. "Well, do you?"
I hang my head and shake it. It's impossible to look at her when she has that look on her face. Then, I mumble, "No, it's been five years, Lisa. I've had to replace them like three times," I confess.
When I lift my eyes, hers are shining. "So what you're saying is you technically do still have them?"
Sighing, I nod. "Yeah, kinda. But for the record, they were my favorite, too, so that's why I replaced them. Not because of you."
"Sure they were." She's grinning, and I want to wipe that smug expression off her face. But I can't come up with anything right now.
Thankfully, I'm saved from having to continue that particular conversation by the waitress bringing over our breakfasts. "Thanks, Sharni," I tell her.
She smiles at me briefly before turning her attention to Lisa. "So good to see you again, Ms. Pran. I was wondering, if you wouldn't mind, would you take me through your exhibit later today? I'd love to hear your thoughts on some of the different pieces."
I can feel my eye beginning to twitch. "Ms. Pran is a bit busy right now, Sharni. If you don't mind, we were just in the middle of something."
Lisa is smiling at me, and I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Damnit, why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut and let the girl flirt with her?
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LISA —
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To say I'm happy about Jennie getting jealous of the server who delivered our breakfast is an understatement of massive proportions. It means she still feels some kind of claim to me. And that means I have a chance of winning her over.
And maybe sooner than I had expected.
I just have to figure out what's going on with the boyfriend. As much as I don't want to change the topic of our conversation, I feel kinda shitty talking about her underwear when she's in a relationship with a guy. I know I wouldn't be okay with it if I were him, so I reluctantly redirect our conversation.
"So, where'd you meet the boyfriend?" I ask, going straight in for the kill. She frowns. It's brief, but I catch it.
"Oh, Kai and I go way back," she says with one of her fake smiles plastered on her face.
I decide to roll with it for a little while, although I'm ninety-nine percent sure she's lying through her teeth. "What's he do?"
"Fireman." And this time, she's telling the truth.
I nod. "Cool, I've got a lot of respect for guys that put their life on the line for others like that. How long have you been together?"
And the fake smile reappears. "Uh, a while," she says, shifting her gaze out the window we're sitting by.
I'm done with this little game. It's not as entertaining as I thought it would be. I heave a heavy sigh. "Did you forget I can read you like a book?"
Her eyes dart back to mine, then her shoulders drop. "You suck."
I chuckle. "I don't, actually. It's not my style," I say with a shrug.
She rolls her eyes. "Ha ha. You've still got the same sense of humor," she says, then she sighs softly. "What gave me away?"
"The little frown that flashed across your face when I asked where you guys met hinted that you were lying, but the fake smile is what really gave you away. So, what's the deal with you two?"
Pushing her almost empty plate away from her, she rests her elbows on the edge of the table in front of her again. "He's … my brother."
I frown. "Why'd you let me think he was your boyfriend?"
She licks her lips and shifts her eyes off my face and back out the window. "I don't know, maybe I thought you'd keep your distance if you thought I was with someone?" She shrugs, still not making eye contact with me.
A weight settles in the pit of my stomach. "Is that what you want? For me to stay away?" If she tells me to go, I will. But, God, I hope she doesn't. She's still looking out the window, gnawing on that plump bottom lip, and I can't take her silence any longer.
I reach across the space separating us and wrap my hands around her wrists. "Jen, if it's what you want, I'll stay away. I'll do what I need to do here, and you won't even see me while I'm doing it. Then I'll go."
She's still looking out that damn window, and I plead, "Look at me, Jen, please." When she finally turns her eyes to mine, they're brimming with unshed tears. "If it's what you want, I'll do it. But I'm telling you now, it's not what I want."
One single tear slides down over the apple of her cheek. "I don't want that. But I'm scared, Lisa. You left me once. You'll leave me again."
Bile rises in my throat at the pain in her voice—the pain that's there because of me. And I don't know what to say. I search my mind for the right words. "Let me prove it to you. You don't have to trust me right away. You have no reason to. I took the coward's way out before, and I'm so sorry, Jen. But I'll spend as long as it takes making it up to you."
I slide my hands along her forearms until I'm entwining my fingers with hers. "What do you say, Jen? Will you give me a chance to win you back?" My heart is in my throat, waiting for her answer.
She sniffles. "I'm your past, Lisa, and you've got an amazing future ahead of you." She shakes her head slightly, and her hair tumbles over one of her delicate shoulders, then she pulls her hands away from mine. "You need to move forward, and so do I. I can't keep living in the past."
Then, she stands up from the table, pulls in a deep breath, and says, "I'm sorry, but you broke me once. I can't let you do it again. I have to protect myself." Then, she walks away, leaving me shattered and alone.
Always fucking alone.
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JENNIE —
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I'm walking away from her, and it should feel liberating. Shouldn't it? I've just closed the door on a past that has haunted me for the last five years. I should feel validated—relieved, even—but I don't.
Each step I take that leads me farther away from her hurts more than the last. Why does it hurt so bad? I don't understand. I'm doing the right thing, aren't I? I'm doing what I should have done all those years ago, when she warned me what would happen. I'm putting the distance between us now that I didn't then.
When I reach the threshold of the restaurant, I turn back to see her, and she's sitting hunched over the table with her hands fisted in her messy hair. My heart aches. She just opened up to me, and I walked away from her.
I never thought the day would come when I would see her and she would want me back. In fact, I never thought I'd see her ever again. Yet, here I am, and I'm the one walking away.
The tears I fought so hard to contain in front of her spill over, and I make my way to the elevator bank with my head hanging low. I let my hair fall around my face, hiding my tattered emotions from onlookers.
When I reach my office, the door is slightly ajar. I push it open and see Grandfather standing by the window. I quickly wipe my tear-stained cheeks before he sees, but he catches my reflection in the tinted glass and turns to face me as I'm scrubbing my face.
"Want to talk about it, sweetheart? I've got years of experience to call on for advice."
I step in fully and close the door behind me. I try to smile, but I can't muster one up—not even a fake one. I sigh. "Not today, Grandfather. This one's all kinds of complicated. Is there something you needed from me?"
He takes a seat on my couch before looking out the window. "Come sit with me," he instructs, and I do. "I want you to work with this Pran fellow. You know what I like, and while I'm yet to see anything of her that I don't like … well, I just want you to keep an eye on it for me. Okay?"
Flopping back on the couch, I'm too emotionally spent to even try and act like this doesn't bother me. "Is that completely necessary? You can't keep tabs on her yourself?"
He raises a brow. "You're normally more than happy to take on extra responsibilities. What is it about this that has you balking?" he asks with narrowed eyes.
"I don't like her," I say flatly.
Grandfather scoffs. "Since when has that been a problem for you? I'm sure you'll put her in her place if she steps out of line. You're the best ball-buster I've got," he says with a wink.
While I would normally take that as a compliment, I really don't want to think about Lisa, or her balls, in any capacity. I groan. "I don't think she'll step out of line, I just don't enjoy her company. I'd rather not have to work closely with her if I can help it."
Right when I think he's about to let me off the hook, he says, "So that wasn't the two of you I saw walking across the lobby last night, soaked to the bone? And that wasn't her having breakfast with you this morning in the restaurant?" he asks, raising a speculative brow.
My chest deflates. Damn it. "Do you have to notice everything?" I grumble.
And he smiles. "This is my hotel, sweetheart, and you are my granddaughter. I take a special interest in both of those things. Now, you can either tell me what is going on, or you can take the task I'm giving you."
Crossing my arms, I mumble, "I'll keep an eye on her, okay?"
Grandfather pats my thigh. "Good girl. I'll be going out of town for a few days. I have a mess to clean up in one of the other branches." He stands and bends at the waist before placing a kiss on my forehead. "This will be a good thing," he murmurs then strides out of my office, nodding to himself, and closes the door behind him.
Well, there goes my plan to stay away from Lisa.
And for some strange reason, my lips quirk at the thought.
Okay, maybe the reason isn't so strange. I don't want to stay away from her. I know that. I've never wanted to. Not back then. And not now. But I don't think I'll be able to handle it if it ends the same way this time.
She asked me to give her a chance, and I said no.
She told me she wanted to make it up to me, and I walked away.
I don't know what to do. My head and my heart are at war. One wants me to wrap my arms around her and never let her go, but the other wants me to run away and protect myself from being hurt again.
I've never felt so conflicted. I didn't even have to think about it when we were younger. I just dove in headfirst with no reservations. I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anything. She made me happy. She showed me how to be myself—for that, I'll forever be grateful. But the hurt and the pain that followed her departure still threaten to cancel out the good that having her in my life did in the first place.
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