"I have vivid memories of the day I found out I was pregnant with Olive. It was seven years ago; we were still living in a trailer that Derek had bought after suddenly fleeing New York... I don't wish to discuss that at this moment. That phase is behind me... a significant part of the reason for my overcoming it was Olive, in fact. Ollie... she illuminated our lives... she turned on a light I didn't know existed. I truly didn't have a nurturing maternal figure during my childhood; my mother was never known to be a loving and sweet mother. I only came to understand what a loving mother was with my mother-in-law, and... she certainly was never very affectionate towards me in particular. However, she was lovely with her children. I must confess that I sometimes felt jealousy watching how much Derek's mother loved and spoiled him... but... no, I'm also not here to discuss my mother-in-law right now."

"I want to remind you that this is a safe space where you can talk about whatever you need," the therapist said softly, lifting her gaze from her notepad to look her in the eyes.

"Okay... I... well... it's nice to know that. But I also don't wanna be here for too long; I still have to undergo surgery after this session and... I don't want to waste time on things that are not important."

"Take your time. Everything is important; don't undervalue anything. If you are bringing it into this conversation, it is because it holds significance for you. And we are here to discuss it, to debate, to analyze together each of the topics you mention here."

"Okay, thanks. I... where was I?"

"You were talking about your mother-in-law."

"Oh, yeah... but what was I saying before that?"

"The day you found out about Olive's pregnancy," she said while reading her notes.

"Right. That's what I wanted to talk about… that day was chaotic. The night before, I had gone to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test; my period was late… and that wasn't something normal for me. I had only experienced a late period twice in my life; one was due to a side effect of a new birth control pill I tried early in my residency, and the other… was due to an unplanned pregnancy. I mean, another unplanned pregnancy, not Olive's. Ella's. Olive was actually my third late period. Oh, does it sound really bad if I say that my daughter was a late period?"

"No, you can speak freely here. I don't want you to feel judged at any moment. Would you like to talk about her?"

"Time flies quickly, and I'm once again talking more than I should. No. I'm not here to talk about her."

The therapist nodded slightly and made a questioning sign next to the name of Ella in her notebook.

"My period was late, and I took a pregnancy test in the trailer's bathroom... you know how that procedure goes; you have to wait about ten minutes for the definitive result to appear, and... I don't know. I cannot explain what went through my mind during those minutes because nerves and anxiety erased it from my memory. I only remember that... I took the little plastic stick and saw the two lines. At first, the second line was not very visible; it was too faint, and... suddenly, I blinked, and both lines were very… red. Dark red. I stared in disbelief at the result, unable to believe it... it was not as if it were the first time I had seen one of those positive tests. I mean, I'm an OB; I have seen hundreds of tests from patients who swore they were not pregnant, and in the end, they were, and... and I was too. I stared at it, and a part of me couldn't believe that it was mine. That this was truly happening... that it was really happening again. But now with Derek... and he... Derek pulled me out of the trance I was in when he knocked twice on the bathroom door. We had to go to an appointment with the vet for the dog we had at that time... My blood ran cold at that moment. Instead of having the typical reaction from the movies where the woman tells her husband, 'Honey, I'm pregnant; we're gonna be parents,' I tucked the test into my pajamas pocket and left the bathroom. Derek told me that my face looked awful..." she laughed, shaking her head.

"And how did that make you feel?"

"What, that Derek told me my face looked awful? Well, it didn't catch my attention. He used to say worse things to me at that time, like 'adulterous bitch' or 'Satan'."

"I mean how it made you feel to find out the news of the pregnancy and not being able to share it with him in a movie-like way."

"Well, as I said before, my childhood was not typical... it wasn't very pleasant, and the movies I watched were just... movies. I didn't expect it to happen to me in real life. So... I don't know. I just know that we went to the appointment with the vet, and... and there was Meredith Grey. At that moment, I suspected Derek was sleeping with her, and... that made me feel very insecure. I was afraid that he'd leave me for her at any moment, and... in a way, that overshadowed the news of the pregnancy. I didn't tell Derek that day. We argued in the hallways."

"Do you want to talk about this? What happened with Meredith?"

"No. I'm sorry, I know I'm sharing too much information, and you need more context to understand each situation well, but... no. I don't wanna talk about Meredith. That was seven years ago; I don't wish to bring this subject to the present."

"But you began the session speaking of events from seven years ago. Perhaps what you claim to have already overcome and forgotten is not quite so. Remember that only present things can affect us. Unresolved conflicts from the past can emerge in symbolic forms in daily life, affecting the way we relate to the world and ourselves. The past remains present in the mind through the unconscious, and its influence manifests indirectly through current thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Unconsciously, you're bringing Meredith into the conversation because she is impacting your present."

"The issue with Meredith is resolved," Addison said firmly. "Derek and she no longer had anything since he learned of my pregnancy. In today's session, I wanted to discuss how he found out."

"How did he find out?"

~•~

"It seems that everything is perfect," Teddy said, removing the stethoscope's olives from her ears.

"Really?" Derek asked with a smile on his face.

"Your heart has recovered excellently; it has a strong and steady beat. The tests show normal and expected results for a healthy 45-year-old heart. There are no noticeable aftereffects from the accident. Congratulations, Derek."

"Wow! So, can I return to work?"

"Yes, I'll process your medical clearance now. But remember, you must still take it easy. Return gradually to avoid overloading your heart. We don't want you to feel overwhelmed or strained. You still need to continue the medication for at least a year to prevent potential arrhythmias and the formation of clots. It's important that you keep taking it even if you feel well. The same goes for the rehabilitation exercises I taught you last time; you must continue performing them to gain muscle mass. And let's not forget about the low-cholesterol and low-sodium diet; you must adhere to that."

"Of course, I'll follow everything to the letter. So... when can I return?"

"You can start tomorrow. Shortly, I'll send you the signed paperwork for you to deliver to Richard so you can reintegrate."

"Great. Thanks, Teddy."

~•~

"When Derek and I were young, we used to go to the terrace of my apartment at night to gaze at the stars. We could spend hours lying on a blanket on the ground watching those tiny lights twinkle and slowly move across the sky... I have always been fascinated by the stars. The light... The light of the stars is unique. Unlike sources of light created by humans, the light of the stars arises from natural processes in the cosmos. Stars are... gigantic balls of incandescent gas that produce light and heat through nuclear reactions. This light travels through space at incredible speeds, reaching unimaginable distances and filling the universe with its glow."

The therapist nodded silently, while intently noting what Addison was narrating.

"I feel that my daughters in my life are like the stars in the universe... they are the ones who illuminate my life, the ones who provide me with warmth and energy to live. I was pregnant with Olive, six or seven weeks along, when I saw a baby onesie in a store that had printed on it, 'I am the living proof that my parents' love traversed the universe and created a star'. And, no matter how cliché it sounds—because it is—I must admit that even I at that time thought it was ridiculous and cliché... at the same time... it was a very profound phrase, you know?"

"It is, yes."

"In the history of our humanity, love has been celebrated as a powerful force that can move mountains, overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and transcend all known limits. And I wondered... could it be possible that the love between two people was strong enough to create a new star in the universe? Could the love between Derek and me achieve that?"

"And what do you think?"

"I say yes. In the metaphorical sense of creating a new life, a baby is a star that shines with its own light. Although for science, the birth of a baby is subject to biological laws and physiological processes, for parents, the birth of a child is a magical and transcendental event that fills them with joy and excitement. It is this unconditional and profound love that arises between two people that gives rise to a new life, a shining star in the universe..."

Addison paused to smile. She felt her skin beginning to tingle.

"Once a star begins to shine, it emits an intense amount of energy, becoming a source of light and heat that illuminates its surroundings and projects through interstellar space. Throughout their life, stars evolve and change, producing heavier chemical elements through their nuclear processes and enriching the universe with their cosmic wealth..."

"It is a lovely analogy on your part to relate a person to a star."

"Yeah, but I'm not the only one who thinks this. The light of the stars has a profound significance for humanity. Since ancient times, stars have been regarded as symbols of guidance, orientation, and beauty. In many cultures, the light of the stars has been associated with the idea of divinity and transcendence. They were considered symbols of eternity and immortality, and it was believed that gods and the souls of deceased loved ones resided in the firmament, illuminating the sky with their light. Therefore, the birth of a human being was interpreted as a sacred event, in which a new life came to be illuminated by the divine light of the stars."

"That is why the onesie with stars had a significant symbolic weight for you."

"Yes... I associate my babies with my stars because they are the little lights that Derek and I created... but..." she sighed heavily, "Derek slept with Meredith the night I was going to give him the onesie... that is why I didn't give it to him... I felt that he didn't deserve it after what he had done to me. I chose an impulsive and entirely unpoetic way to tell him I was pregnant, leaving the pregnancy test in the same pocket where I found his lover's underwear."

"I'm sorry; that must have been very hard for you."

"It was. I was very excited about the star onesie... however, I kept it with me because a part of me told me that I'd need it again in the future... and I did. When I became pregnant with Arleth, about five years after that day, I told him with the onesie."

"Was it the same onesie?"

"The same one. It was very emotional because Olive gave it to him on her birthday... his face was quite a sight when he opened the poorly wrapped gift from the little girl and found the baby onesie among stickers, sticky photos, and a few dead ants," she laughed reminiscing about that unforgettable day.

~•~

"Say Olive," said the little girl, sitting on the sofa next to her younger sister. It was the first time they had stayed home with Keisha. Derek had returned to work that week after receiving his medical clearance.

"Dada!" exclaimed Arleth, smiling. Ever since she had learned to say that word, she repeated it constantly, knowing that her parents celebrated every time they heard it.

"No, dad no. I am Olive. Say Olive."

"Dada!"

"Say O. Ooooo..."

"Daaa!"

"Ooooooo..."

"Oo..."

"O-live."

"Ov..."

"O-live."

"Oooov."

"Olive. Say Olive."

"Dada!"

"Alright, you can call me Ollie as well. It's easier. Say Ollie."

"Iv"

"Ollie. O-llie."

"Iv!"

"Ollie. Ollie. Ollie. Ollie."

"Iv!"

"Ollie!"

"Dada!"

"God, this is harder than I thought, you're too dumb," she sighed, covering her face with both hands.

Keisha, who was sitting next to them, could not contain her laughter upon witnessing the girl's frustration.

Olive took a deep breath, pushed the strands of hair away from her face, and stared intently at her sister. She wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Let's try again. Say Olive."

"Dada!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey, hey. What are those screams?" asked Addison, entering through the front door.

"Mom!" exclaimed Olive, jumping off the sofa and running towards her.

"Hi, dear. How have you behaved? Did they behave well, Keisha?"

"Yes, Dr. Montgomery. They are two little angels," the young girl responded with a smile.

"And Dad? When will Dad return?"

"Dada!" the baby said, extending her little hands. Addison smiled and picked her up.

"Dad's working now, remember? He'll be back shortly... Did you finish your homework, Ollie?"

"Um, no... I was busy doing something urgent."

"What was that?"

"I was trying to teach Arleth how to talk."

"Iv!"

"Iv? Who is Iv, sweetie?"

"I am. She doesn't know how to say Olive! I'm still teaching her, but she's very stubborn," she sighed dramatically.

"And mom? When are you gonna say mom, Arley? Mmma-mmma," Addison emphasized the letter 'm'.

"Dada!"

"I am Mom. Say mama. Mmma-mmma.

"Dada!" the baby giggled.

"See? I told you it was urgent," Olive sighed again.

~•~

"Last week, I mentioned my first pregnancy... it was Ella. A baby conceived outside my marriage."

"Would you like to discuss it today?"

"Not really... my past with Mark, Ella's father, is not something I take pride in. I made a grave mistake that nearly cost me my marriage... in fact, it cost me a significant part of my life. I'd prefer not to talk about it right now, as I believe it holds no importance to revisit. Derek and I are closer than ever and... that crisis we faced in 2005 is no longer present. So no, I don't wanna discuss my infidelity. But I'd like to talk about Ella."

"Tell me about Ella."

"I aborted Ella. I wasn't even five weeks pregnant when I terminated the pregnancy... things did not unfold as I had planned with Mark, and... I simply went through with it, without telling anyone I was going to do so."

"Do you regret having done it?"

"No... well, I'm not certain. At that moment, all I wanted was to regain my husband and build a family with him... whenever I envisioned a family, it was always with him. And I know my life would not have been the same had I had Ella... Olive and Arleth might not exist... and I don't want a life without those two... but... I don't know. Aborting Ella didn't hurt me half as much as losing this pregnancy. I suppose that's because when what happened with Ella occurred, my marriage was in crisis, and I didn't know what it meant to be a mother... and now... now I understand. Now I know what my babies look like and how Derek's as a father. I didn't know any of that then and... I don't know. It wasn't that difficult to make that decision. I cannot articulate why this baby, which was also unplanned, hurt more. I didn't wanna discuss this particular aspect..."

"Speak of whatever you wish or need to discuss. I'm here to listen."

"Well... what I wanted to convey concerning Ella is that, at that time, it was practically impossible for me to know that the embryo I carried within me was a girl; nevertheless, I knew. I just knew. Just as I knew her name was Ella... and," she took a disposable tissue from the coffee table, "I didn't feel like a mother at that time, but... I don't know. I'll never be able to assert with certainty the sex of that embryo, but... something within me understood that it was Ella."

"Your instinct told you."

"Yeah. And the same happened with Olive. We had decided not to know the sex until birth, but from the moment I learned I was pregnant, I already knew it was a girl, and that she'd be named Olive. It's amusing because I wanted to ignore that internal voice telling me it was a girl, and wait to be surprised at delivery, but... she was very restless one day and I had many contractions... Derek insisted on having an ultrasound and... we saw her immediately. It was a girl," she smiled recalling that moment of excitement. "And from then on... the debates with Derek over her name began. I knew she was named Olive, but her father didn't like that name at that time, so we conducted a ridiculous vote. The name Bella won. For a few weeks, she was called Bella. My mother-in-law, in fact, knitted a blanket with that name," she laughed, shaking her head.

"And what caused the last-minute name change?"

"I don't know. I suppose Derek saw her and realized that she couldn't be named anything other than Olive... or perhaps he observed how I poured my soul out on that stretcher expelling that elusive pink mass of nearly nine pounds, and compensated me for the effort by allowing me to choose the name, right?" she laughed. "That's why we didn't choose Arleth's name until we saw her for the first time... well, with her, I also didn't want to know the sex until she was born, because I already knew. I was less than a month pregnant and I already knew it was another girl. I didn't wanna tell Derek, as he was excited about having a boy. He was convinced it was a boy that time..." she sighed and paused for several minutes.

The therapist noticed that Addison was beginning to cry, despite her efforts to conceal it. Her voice sounded higher-pitched than at the outset, and her eyes were glassy. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to continue with the session.

"I know our time today is drawing to a close, but before I leave, I wanted to arrive at this conclusion. My three previous pregnancies resulted in girls... with Olive and Arleth, I can attest to that, and with Ella... I don't know. The intuition was the same as with her sisters, so I suppose she was also a girl... but this last time, in my fourth pregnancy... I cannot explain it either, but... it was different. I... I know it was a boy."

~•~

"I didn't see you at the hospital all day today. Is everything okay? How did your therapy go this week?" Derek asked as he approached the bathroom door with Arleth in his arms.

"Good," Addison replied, finishing brushing her teeth.

"Do you feel that it is helping? You feeling better?"

"Yeah... it is good to talk about things I've never spoken about... I feel like I'm lifting a weight off my shoulders and... it feels good."

"That's great. You'll see that you'll be better each day."

"Has she finished her bottle?" she asked, watching the baby yawn with her head resting on her father's shoulder.

"Yes, she's ready to go to sleep in her room for the first time."

"Do you think she is ready? She is only eight months old, Der..."

"Olive slept in her room at that age."

"Yes, for the first three hours, and then she slept with us in the middle of the bed."

"Arleth sleeps more soundly than Olive. It'll be much easier for her to adjust."

"I don't know... I'm afraid to leave her alone..."

"We are not leaving her; I have already set up the cameras and the baby call. Everything works perfectly. If she wakes up or starts crying, we will go get her quickly."

"I don't know... I think we're rushing things too much; she hasn't even turned one yet."

"Addie, I have already moved the crib to her room. The change has been made; we must now proceed with the plan. We cannot backtrack. We need her to learn to sleep alone if we want to have some intimacy."

"Alright..."

"Change that expression on your face; we need to convey confidence and calmness so she wants to stay there," he said, giving Addison a small kiss on her forehead before leaving the room. Come on, take her stuffed animal and her blanket.

Addison nodded and gathered the baby's belongings. Together, they walked to the room next door and stayed with the little one until she fell deeply asleep.