This one was a little a harder to write than I thought I would be. I'm what people call an emotional little shit and get very attached to the characters I write, so when they get emotional, I channel what they're feeling and then I start feeling bad. I'm glad I was able to finish it though. Time for some well-deserved gaming... Sike! Gotta work on Chapter 16 of Good Dog _ Pray for me lovelies... -MercyVale
Chapter Three: A Million Emotions
"So. You gonna tell me while Kim Possible is laying in my guest room when she's supposed to be dead?" Shego was out of her seat in an instant and she pushed Erin against the wall.
"How the hell did you know about that?!" Erin pushed back and made Shego sit before sitting beside her.
"Relax Sara… geez. It's all over the news." Erin pulled out her phone and went to YouTube, showing it to Shego. Almost every video posted in the last 6 hours is about Kim. The images shown are the lab where they'd escaped, but it seems even more destroyed than she remembered.
"So, they really think she's dead…" She sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she leaned over and checked out the other room. She explained all that she knew to Erin, not mentioning her own moments of self-doubt when she was trying to free Kim. "You know, maybe it's for the better that everyone thinks he killed her…"
"What about her family? They need to know she's okay." Erin frowned as she examined Shego's back, patching up any cuts she received from the explosion. "Stop moving. You got glass and bits of metal everywhere…" Shego was trying her hardest not to move but Erin wasn't being exactly gentle.
"You don't get it. You saw what they did to her. What do you think would happen if they found out she was alive?" Erin paused, frowning.
"They'd try to take her out while she's hurt and vulnerable…"
"Exactly… I dare them to try and get anywhere near her." Shego cracked her knuckles, scowling, but almost fell out of her seat when Erin pulled a particularly large piece of metal from her back. "Fucking hell…"
"Hold still, you big baby…" She leaned over on to the table and had to concentrate on not lighting up. Erin would kill her if she burned something, again... "You know, it's weird seeing you worry about someone other than yourself, especially when it's someone you've had conflict with for years."
"Today was the first time I'd seen her in over a year, actually." Erin cleaned and bandaged the last of her wounds and Shego pulled her shirt back on. "I've been in prison…"
"When is that something new?" Erin scoffed and began cleaning and disinfecting everything. "You've been in and out of prison for all the years I've known you."
"Yeah, but it's different this time. Hell, I turned myself in…" That made Erin stop and look at her in disbelief.
"Seriously?" This wasn't the same Sara she'd known.
"I don't want to do this anymore, Erin. I'm just so tired…" Shego sat in a chair, rubbing her sore shoulder. "I just want something simpler, and I still won't get that. In a month, I'll be working for Global Justice." She didn't add that she was going to probably go back to prison for murder after she finished killing everyone who hurt Kim.
"Global Justice? You're kidding, right?" She just shook her head and Erin sighed, massaging her temple. "I think I need a drink after that… You…. you want one?" Erin walked over to her liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch.
"Just a beer, if you have any." Shego leaned back in the chair and look back through the open door of the guest room. Kim was still asleep and seemed fine, according to all the monitors Erin attached to her, though every now and then the heart monitor would spike. Erin told her that was to be expected after what she'd been put through. Now that Kim was free of all the blood and all bandaged up, she looked a lot better, though there was a lot of bruising. Nothing was too severe, so she'd be fine in a few weeks. Then there was her eye, and Shego wasn't sure how she'd explain that to her…
"You really care about her, huh?" Erin came back over and handed her a beer, which she cracked open and downed half almost instantly.
"I guess I do… I mean, I've always seen her as like, my sparring partner. I looked forward to when we fought because she was the only one who actually made me push myself."
"So, she's like a friend to you then." Shego looked at Erin for a second before looking back to Kim, nodding. "She must at least be a friend for you to have saved her."
"You could say that…." Erin watched her for a moment before she set her glass down and walked over to her, a hand on her hip.
"Do you love her?" Shego nearly spit out her beer at that and looked at Erin like she'd grown another head.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Erin was uncomfortable about this subject, but it had been eating at her since they both arrived at her doorstep.
"It's just… The way you look at her… That's how you used to look at me…" Erin's voice softened with each word as her face blushed a bright shade of red and she turned away.
"Erin…" Shego blushed as well and reached out to her but Erin pulled away, sitting down with her glass again.
"Ahh… Forget what I said. It was stupid..." They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes, both very focused on their drinks, until Shego cleared her throat.
"I uh...I'm sorry… I never really told you that, did I?" She took another drink from her beer before setting it down. "I mean it though. I am sorry. You really deserved someone who was there with you all the time, not in and out of prison or traveling all around the world with a blue idiot who barely knew his left from his right."
"That didn't bother me, and you knew that. I loved you and I was willing to wait for you, no matter what. I may not have always liked what you did for a living, but you were happy, and I was happy with you." Erin got up to get more scotch and get away from Shego. "Why did you do it? Why did you call off the engagement? Didn't you love me anymore?"
"Of course I still loved you! How could you say that? I never stopped."
"You just didn't love me the same way, right?" That made Shego look down and she clenched her jaw to avoid saying anything. "It's okay… I think I finally understand it now."
"Understand what?"
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll make sense to you eventually."
"You're being weird again."
Erin chuckled, sitting down beside her again, and finished her drink. They fell back into silence and Erin watched as Shego's gaze slowly drifted back to Kim. She was beyond dense if she didn't notice how she was when it came to that girl.
"Hey, Sara?".
"...Yeah…?" She was distracted as she said it and Erin just sighed, setting the glass down.
"Instead of sitting out here, why don't you go sit with her? It sure seems like she'd be happy to see you when she wakes up." Shego sighed, rubbing her neck again, and grabbed her beer, finishing the rest in a gulp.
"I was going to give her some space to sleep, but you have a point…" She threw the bottle away and grabbed another one from the fridge.
"Hey! You can't just help yourself to those, asshole! They're not cheap!" Shego just walked right past her, waving her off.
"Yeah yeah. I'll buy you more when I get the chance. I'll be over here if you need me." She went into Kim's room and pulled a chair over to the side of the bed. Erin just scowled and poured herself another drink before going to her own room, grumbling about mooching surprise guests. Shego sat down next to Kim's bed and reached out slowly, brushing a bit of hair from her face. Her expression is calm, far from the look of panic and fear when they were trying to get her to rest. She stayed with Kim all night, sleeping on and off in the chair or watching Erin when she came in to check her vitals. The longer she slept, Kim started looking even better. She was still pale as hell, but she'd regained a lot of color back. Everything seemed normal, except for short periods where Kim would whimper in her sleep or move restlessly. Shego knew it was probably bad dreams she was having, and she had no doubt what the dreams could be about, so she stayed with her throughout it all and talked to her. It seemed to help her, and it gave Shego something to do when she couldn't sleep. She was prepared to stay with her like this forever if she really had to.
The next morning, the sleep inducer wore off and Kim finally began to wake up, holding the side of her head as a mild throbbing pulsed through it.
"I feel like I got hit by a truck…" She moved her hand to rub her eyes, but another hand stopped hers.
"Don't do that…" She jumped at the voice and turned to look at the source. Shego was leaning on the bed, using it as a pillow while she'd slept in the chair. "You can't touch your eye, Princess. Erin will kill me if I let you mess up your stitches…"
"Shego? What's going on?" Kim frowned and looked around in confusion until it slowly began to come back to her. "Wait..." She grabbed the blanket and flung it off, examining her body and finding the bandages that covered her wound. The heart monitor started to go off as her heart rate sped, causing Erin to run in to make sure nothing's wrong.
"Sara! What-" Erin stopped, watching as Kim slowly reached her hand up to her eye, touching the bandages.
"It wasn't a dream…"
"Kim…" She flinched and looked at Shego, tears forming in the uncovered eye. They spilled over as she leaned over, wrapping her arms around the shocked green woman.
"You saved me…" She felt Shego return the embrace, albeit hesitantly. "Thank you…" Shego winced, lowering her head to hide her face. Why was Kim thanking her? Why wasn't she mad at her? She should be mad at her…
"You can't do that, Princess... You're not supposed to thank me…" Kim pulled away, confused, and watched as Shego moved a hand to her face, not touching the bandages, and met her eyes when she raised her head. She could see how red Shego's eyes were from crying, not to mention the fresh tears that were spilling from her eyes. She was really upset about this… About her eye… It was just as bad as she thought it was, back in the jet. Before Shego bandaged it, she remembered her vision being hazy and being filled by a bright light. She's… That's why Shego was upset… She blamed herself...
"Hey…" Kim placed a hand on her arm and put another on her head, petting her hair. "It's okay…"
"This shouldn't… I mean… The eye… It…" Shego looked away, not wanting to look her in the eye.
"Shego…" Seeing Shego cry made her feel weird… It felt wrong to see her like this.
"This shouldn't have happened!" Kim pulled her closer, trying to comfort her.
"It's okay. No big. No big…"
"What the hell do you mean 'no big'?!" Shego suddenly pulled away and stood up. "In case you haven't noticed, your eye is fucked up. You've lost most, if not all, of your vision, and you're saying it's 'no big'?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"Sara…" Erin placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her, but it only made her more upset.
"Don't!" She shrugged it off and stomped towards the door, leaving Kim and Erin both stunned.
Kim immediately sat up completely and started ripping off all the electrodes from the monitors, causing Erin to run over and try and reattach them.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Kim grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes.
"Get these off of me."
"You're in no condition to-"
"I wasn't asking. You can either take them off, or I will, and I don't think you want me yanking out this needle." Erin glared at her and Kim glared back. It was a battle of wills and Erin lost very quickly. She agreed to take everything off but made Kim hold onto her as she slowly walked out of the room.
It didn't take very long to find Shego. She was out on Erin's back deck, looking out at the snow and smoking a cigarette. Despite all of Erin's protests, Kim opened the sliding door and stepped outside, the bitter cold of the snow under her bare feet traveling up her whole body and making her shiver. Shego turned around at the sound of the door and all her anger leaves her.
"Kim!" She threw the cigarette and ran over to Kim, trying to pick her up. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! You'll freeze out here." Kim put her hands on Shego's arms and pushed her away, her teeth chattering.
"You think I'm not upset about this?! Of course I'm upset! I could be completely blind in one eye and I won't know until these bandages come off!" Tears flow from her good eye as she continued to push Shego back as the older woman just stood there, taking it. "I feel so...humiliated, and vulnerable, and angry that this happened! But it's not your fault!"
"It is! I should have thought to use my plasma to break the chains! I would have gotten you out of there before the bomb exploded!"
"But what if the same thing happened? You think that was the only bomb Drakken planted? He's not as dumb as we think he is! He's the whole reason I was caught! It was his plan and I fell for it!" Kim's legs began to buckle under her and Shego picked her up, carrying her back inside. "I fell for it and now I'm stuck like this…" Shego wanted to kick herself. She was so worried that Kim would blame her for what happened that she never thought about how Kim felt. That she would blame herself for getting caught in the first place.
She placed Kim back in bed and climbed in with her, covering her lap with the blanket and wrapping her arms around her. Kim started to protest but quieted down when she felt the warmth spread through her. Shego lifted a hand to show her the faint wispy that surrounded it. Not enough to burn, but enough to warm up the freezing woman beside her. Kim reached out and very slowly touched her hand, flinching back when she felt the heat.
"It won't hurt you… It's safe…" Kim nodded and touched her hand again, marveling at the warmth and the hypnotic swirls of the glow.
"It feels nice…" She smiled at the feeling and locked her fingers with Shego's, bringing their hands up to her face. She pressed her cold cheek against Shego's hand and sighed, smiling more. "So warm…" Shego really couldn't help but blush as this. Kim Possible was nuzzling her hand, enjoying the warmth from her glow. It wasn't something that she ever expected to happen.
"Getting comfortable there, Kimmie?" Kim blushed and let go of her hand.
"Sorry, I was just colder than I thought." Shego chuckled and held Kim's hand again.
"It's okay. I'll be your personal space heater for now." She pulled Kim against her and Kim enjoyed how warm she was now.
"If you two are done flirting with each other, I've got breakfast." Erin came in with a bed tray that had two plates on it. Both plates had bacon, eggs, and toast, and there were two glasses of orange juice. Shego focused on the flirting comment but Kim was too focused on the food to even think about it. She hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday when she had the apple and the rum. She dove right in when Erin set the tray down and barely slowed down, only stopping once to gulp down more than half of her orange juice.
"Wow, she's really hungry…" Erin watched her, surprised how quickly she was putting away the food. "I knew I should have made pancakes too… I'll go get her some seconds, hang on." Erin stepped out and Shego picked at her food. She wasn't hungry, but she ate a little more than half and then gave the rest to Kim, who was already almost done.
"Slow down, Princess. You're going to make yourself sick." Kim was finishing the last few bites when there was a crackling sound of electricity that came from the kitchen.
"Sorry! Left a spoon in the microwave and-" Shego didn't catch what Erin said after that. She was too focused on following Kim as she half-jumped out of the bed and tried to run/limp out of the room quickly. Kim didn't make it too far though and ran into Erin as she was coming back into the room.
"Princess, wait!" Shego reached out and grabbed her before she fell. Kim fought against the hold and elbowed Shego in the ribs, as hard as she could. She got her good, knocking the wind out of her. "Damn it… Princess, you're lucky you're cute and injured or I'd kick your ass…" She wheezed out and practically dragged Kim back to bed. "I need you to relax…" Shego knew what freaked her out so much out, but they weren't going to get anywhere with her like this. "Come on, relax…" Kim latched onto Shego and buried her face into her shoulder.
"What the hell did I miss?" Erin set down a bowl of oatmeal and grabbed a box of tissues, handing a few to Shego.
"Remember how I told you they used electrocution on her?" Erin nods, frowning. She wasn't happy and she had to monitor Kim's heart rate all night because of it. "When you left that spoon in the microwave, the sound sent her into a panic. I didn't expect her to move that fast…"
"Not to mention how hard she nailed you with her elbow."
"Don't remind me… I think it's safe to say she's got more energy than before." Shego kept holding Kim, rubbing her back until she started to calm down. "You feeling better, Kimmie?" Kim just nodded, swiping at her good eye.
"I'm...sorry…" Shego stroked her cheek, brushing away a stray tear, and then lifted her chin to make her look up.
"You can cry on my shoulder all you want, okay? I won't get mad." She gave her a smile and Kim gave her a small one in return.
"I've been crying a lot…"
"And you've been through a lot, so you get a pass to cry all you want." Kim sighed and leaned against Shego, watching as Erin picked up the flung tray and plates off the floor.
"I'm sorry about that…" Erin just waved it off with a smile.
"This is nothing, don't worry about it. I've had patients do ten times worse than this."
"It'll be better when I get home…" Erin stopped cleaning and looked up, sharing a look with Shego before the green woman sighed, turning Kim to look at her.
"Princess… Everyone thinks you're dead." Kim froze and moved away from Shego more, staring at her.
"What?"
"It's the only thing that's being talked about on the news. They think you died in that explosion." Kim looked at Erin, who nodded in agreement.
"It's true…"
"I... I need to tell them I'm okay… They need to know I'm alive." Kim started to get out of the bed but Shego pulled her back.
"I can't let you do that."
"And why not? Last I checked, you don't control me. My family needs to know that I'm okay."
"And when it gets out that you're alive, Drakken or one of those goons, or even all of them will show up and try to finish the job, and in the state that you're in, you wouldn't be able to fight any of them off. I definitely didn't save your ass just to watch you throw it all away."
"Then what am I supposed to do? Play dead?"
"It would give you time to heal." Kim, who had been joking, groaned and rubbed her forehead.
"What about my family? I can't just leave them out of the loop. It must be killing them, thinking I'm gone. I can't keep putting them through that…"
"It'll only backfire on you. What if one of them is taken and held hostage? You are in no condition to fight your way out of a paper bag, let alone any one of those fuckers that hurt you. Remember who used to be the bad guy. I know how their minds work."
"Used to be the bad guy? What do you mean by that?" Shego was silent at first, and just shook her head.
"Don't worry about it, Princess… It's a long story so we'll save it for another day…"
"Alright…"
Shego made her lie back on the pillow and tucked the blanket around her.
"You look exhausted. You should get some rest. You had a rough morning… We'll talk about this more after you've gotten some more sleep." Shego started to get up but noticed Kim was still holding onto her arm. "You want me to stay, don't you?" Kim bit her lip, looking away, and nodded.
"I'll try to sleep this time, but I don't want to be alone… Could you..." She felt the bed shift and watched as Shego got comfortable, fixing the blanket over her lap.
"Come on." She pulled Kim closer and Kim got comfortable, leaning against her. Out of the corner of her eye, Shego saw Erin making kissy faces at them, which made her scowl. She gave her the finger while at the same time flicking a tiny ball of plasma at her. Erin dodged it and yelped, running out of the room.
"If you burn anything in there, I'll kick your ass!" Shego started to say something but stopped when she felt Kim shaking. The smaller woman was covering her mouth and trying very hard not to laugh.
"Everything alright there, Princess?" Kim just nodded and grinned, looking up at Shego. Trying to be funny, she attempted to mimic what Erin did, making the kissy faces, but stops when Shego gives her a glare.
"Sorry, but it was kind of funny. She's not really subtle, is she?"
"Nope, and it's starting to piss me off." Kim watched her as she leaned her head back, still frowning.
"Ahh...sorry…"
"It's not your fault, Kim." She paused, sighing, "It's not even her fault… Well, not entirely her fault." She glanced at Kim and shook her head, looking away. "It's alright. Don't worry about it." She was going to have some words with Erin later for putting the thought in her head that she might like Kim. It was all she could think about now…
"Are you sure?" Shego tightened her hold on Kim and stroked her hair, giving her a weak smile.
"Yeah, it's okay." Only now was she more aware of how protective of Kim she was becoming. It wasn't a guarantee that it was because she had feelings for her, but she couldn't help but think about it more and more.
How did she view Kim now? Like a little sister? Gross. Like a friend? Well, she felt as though the whole situation cause them to form some sort of bond, but was that bond strong enough to be called love? Shego was starting to grasp onto how she felt but knowing how Kim felt about her was a mystery to her. Kim seemed to latch onto her, but that could have just been because she'd saved her, and it was her way of showing her how much she appreciated it. Shego held Kim close to her and waited for her to fall asleep so she could go give Erin a piece of her mind but while she was so focused on that, she wasn't aware of how tired she was herself and soon enough, they're both asleep. Erin came back in and threw a blanket over Shego and check over Kim as she slept, noting that she seemed more comfortable than she was before and much calmer in her sleep. She continued to tend to her until her doorbell rang and signaled that she had another patient. She left a note for Shego or Kim to find when one of them woke up and shut and locked their door, so no one would know they were there.
A few hours pass before Kim woke up and she found that Shego was still in the bed with her, her arms still wrapped around her torso as they lay together. Despite Shego's firm hold, she was able to sit up just enough to slip out of it and carefully walk to the bathroom. When she was done, she looked herself over in the mirror, this being the first time seeing her face. Her eye is bandaged over, but she could see a jagged cut poking out from just under the bandages. It was red and scabbed over but still looked bad. She gently touched her cheek, brushing her fingers across the cut and pulled her hand away when it triggered a sharp pain.
"Damn it…" She'd have to avoid touching her face. It hurt more than anything else so she knew that it would take a while to heal. Her body didn't feel as sore as it did earlier, but the sight of all the bandages and bruises bothered her more than she wanted to admit.
Kim finished up in the bathroom and limped out slowly, finding Shego awake and holding a towel and a bin of water that appeared to be steaming.
"There you are. We can't leave the room for a while. Erin has some patients right now and is giving us privacy." Kim comes over to the bed and sits at the edge of it, looking at everything.
"What's all this?"
"She gave this to me and told me to help you get washed up so I can change your bandages." Kim's eyes widened and, self-consciously, she gripped the hospital gown she was wearing and pulled it up.
"You'll see me naked if you do that!"
"Kimmie, first, we're both women so it's not like it's anything that I haven't seen on myself. Just a different skin tone. Second, I won't look at the important bits, okay? I'll let you wash those, but you can't wash your back and I don't want you pulling at your stitches." Kim's face flushed red and she reluctantly nodded.
"Alright… but like you said, no looking!" Kim waited until Shego covered her eyes before she removed the gown. She covered everything she didn't want seen before telling her it was okay.
Shego didn't say anything, which surprised Kim. She fully expected some remark to make her feel better or make her laugh, but she just stood there, silent, as she washed her body. When she finished, Kim took care of everything else and dried herself off.
"Here, Erin said you could have these. She's taller than you but we can just roll up the pants a bit to fit you." Shego handed her some clothes and let Kim get dressed in private by covering her eyes, only helping when Kim asked for it or stopping her to put fresh bandages on her. When she was dressed in everything but a shirt, Shego helped her over to a sink and very carefully, so not to wet her bandages, Shego washed her hair. "Don't get used to it, Princess. When you're back to 100%, I expect you to wash your own hair." Kim notices the slight smirk on her lips as she dried her hair. There was her Shego… Her Shego? Where had that come from? She felt her face start to get hot and instinctively, she covered her face as she blushed. "Kim? Are you okay?" She just nodded and rubbed her face.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about something…" Shego just nodded and brought her back to the bed, making her sit before she brushed her hair. When she finished, Shego put her hair in a ponytail and stood up, grabbing the bandages again.
"Alright. This is the hard part, Kimmie. You ready?" She knew exactly what Shego was preparing to do, and if she was being honest with herself, she wasn't ready.
"Not really... Do it…" The taller woman nodded and took a deep breath before slowly snipping off the bandages that wrapped around her eye. Kim felt her remove them and take in a sharp breath. With the bandages and gauze gone, she could open her eye lid again, but when she did, she wasn't prepared for what she saw. "Shego… It's…" She watched as Shego's own eyes watered and she turned away from Kim, struggling with her emotions. Kim stood up and walked over to the mirror, looking at her uncovered eye.
It was exactly what she'd expected, and she was still torn up. The white of her eye was a level of bloodshot she'd only seen in video games and the pupil and iris were clouded over. By what, she didn't know, she would have to ask Erin, but it was the last thing on her mind… Like before, she touched her face, feeling the injuries, but this time she didn't pull back. Instead, she began to cry and had to hold onto the sink to keep herself upright. She cried from the pain and she cried because of her appearance, but mostly, she cried because the only things she would ever see with her eye was a world of shadows. She felt Shego grab her and instead of pulling away, she turned, hugging her tightly and crying into her chest. Shego just held her and let her cry as much as she needed, unable to hide the tears she was shedding for her too.