Savor the Rewrite: chapter 7 Death and Love: Part 1
Angela headed up the stairs in a complete daze. By the time she got into the bedroom, Tony was already in bed, no doubts to his current state of mind. He motioned her over to the bed, which in her daze, she did just that. He started kissing her neck and down her cleavage. He slowly took off her silk robe as his hands began to explore the rest of her body. Finally, she snapped out of her daze.
"Tony… Tony… we have to talk…" she said as she was slowly losing her focus as Tony's attention started to cloud her mind.
"Whatever it is Angela… it can wait…" he said as he captured her lips with his own. Her resolve to talk fell away as did the rest of their clothing as they made love.
Angela was surprised she fell asleep so quickly but was not surprised when she woke up early the next morning, the pharmacist's message playing over and over in her mind. She managed to slip out of bed, grabbed her robe and headed down to the kitchen. She pulled the calendar off the wall.
"Alright… I started that antibiotic mid-October. I should be due for my period… almost two weeks ago… two weeks! How could you not have realized you were almost two weeks late Angela?" she said out loud as the panic started to kick in.
"That would make me five, almost six weeks… well that would explain the fatigue, food aversions, dizziness and nausea… oh my gosh what am I going to do?" she again said out loud as she put her head in her hands.
"Wait! This is all just speculation! I need to know for sure! Okay I'll stop in on my way to work and grab a test. If it's negative then all this worrying will be for nothing! And if it's positive… I'm… pregnant…" she said as she placed one of her hands on her stomach. A smile started to form across her face as the realization hit her that, while she was feeling about a thousand different emotions, happiness and excitement were slowly winning out. Tears started to form in her eyes as she pictured herself holding a tiny baby in her arms, Tony wrapping his arms around them both.
"Oh my god Tony! How is he going to react? We just figured out the finances and now a potential baby? Does he even want kids? We never even talked about it since we got together. I suppose he does… he said as much when we watched baby Clint… but that was then and this is now! Well there's no point in telling him anything until I know there's something to tell…" she said. Just then, Tony walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Angela.
"What are you doing up so early Angela? It's barely five in the morning!" he said with a yawn.
"I…I couldn't sleep. I decided to come down here and make myself a cup of tea…" she said as she stood up to make the tea.
"I've got it Angela! Then how about we head back upstairs and cuddle in bed until we have to get up?" he said as he started to fill the kettle. Before the kettle even boiled, they were both startled by the sound of the phone ringing.
"Hello?" answered Tony. They both had a feeling someone calling at this early hour would not mean anything good.
"Oh hi Mrs. Rossini! How are you… what's wrong… oh no… when? How?" he asked as he sat down on the kitchen chair.
"I just saw him at a party a few weeks ago! Please let me know about the arrangements… okay see you soon…" he said as he hung up the phone.
"Tony what happened?" she asked, knowing that it was indeed bad news.
"My childhood friend Joey Castellucci died yesterday. They think it was a heart attack" said Tony as he wiped away tears in his eyes.
"Oh Tony… I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" she asked as she pulled her chair closer to Tony.
"Yes I'm okay. She's going to let me know about the funeral arrangements. It should be within the next few days. I just can't believe it…" he said.
"I know Tony. Just know that we are all here for you… anything you need…" she said.
"Thank you sweetheart. Let's head back upstairs and start getting ready. I'm going to need to spend the next few days getting ahead with the housework and schoolwork" he said as he went to pour them two cups of tea.
"Sounds like a plan Tony. I'll be up in a few minutes okay…" she said as she grabbed the calendar and went to put it back on the wall.
"Why did you have the calendar down?" asked Tony.
"Oh… I… I wanted to double check when Christmas was this year… ah the twenty fifth again!" she said with a nervous laugh.
"I think you need more sleep Angela!" he said as he headed into the living room to head back upstairs.
Angela let out a long sigh of relief. She knew the funeral would be taking up a lot of Tony's time this week so it would be easy to get a pregnancy test and even schedule an appointment with her doctor if she was in fact pregnant. How Tony would react was a whole other matter all together. She headed into the living room, stopping to delete the message on the machine just in case anyone else bothered to check the messages, and then headed upstairs.
Angela decided to take the early train into work so she could stop at a pharmacy on the way to work. She kissed Tony goodbye and headed out the front door. The whole way to work, Angela was in a fog. If the last stop wasn't Grand Central Station, she would have most definitely missed it. Even when the train stopped, the ticket collector had to tap her on the shoulder.
She decided to take a cab to a pharmacy away from her office, just in case she knew anyone from work. When she got there, she tried to be as discreet as possible but after looking at all the options, she knew she needed to ask for help. The pharmacist was quite helpful and gave her helpful suggestions. Finally, she was able to pick one, pay for it and get to her office before anyone else was in.
"Alright Angela… you have a Masters Degree… let's see if you can follow a simple set of directions…" she said out loud as she began to open the box. She read through the instructions at least three times. She pulled out all four test strips and managed to complete the process. She had to wait ten minutes for the results, which felt like an eternity. Finally, the time had passed.
"Here goes nothing…" she said as she looked down at the tests. She looked back at the instructions and then the tests and then back at the instructions at least five times before the results sunk in. She barely had time to process the news when she heard noises coming from the lobby. She quickly put everything carefully back in the box and bag. She took one final look at herself in the mirror before heading out.
"Hi Angela! You're in early! Everything okay?" asked Jack.
"Hi Jack… yes everything is fine. I'm just trying to get some extra work done today and tomorrow as I will most likely need to take off a day or two this week. Tony's childhood friend died suddenly and we will need to go to his funeral" she said.
"I'm so sorry Angela. Please give Tony my condolences" he said as he headed into his office.
Angela quickly made her way back into her office. She grabbed the bag and slowly reopened the box, pulling out the four identical test strips in her hands. She stared down at them, a slow smile starting to form on her face. She quickly put the strips in a plastic bag and put them in her purse. She stuck the bag underneath her desk and picked up her address book, finding the number of her doctor. She quietly called the number and spoke to the receptionist.
"Hi yes… my name is Angela Bower and I am a patient of Dr. Greene. I was hoping to make an appointment tomorrow or the following day… yes… I… I need to confirm I'm pregnant…" she said as she was given an appointment the following day. She hung up the phone and absentmindedly put her hands on her stomach.
"Okay little one… I'm not sure how I'm working or doing anything until I know for sure that you really exist but I'll have to try and do my best. Now the bigger question is… how and when do I tell your Daddy about you…" she said as the thought of telling Tony both terrified and excited her all at once.
The following day, Mrs. Rossini let Tony know the funeral would be on Friday. His family asked that Tony say something at the service, which he spent the day and night writing draft after draft, nothing coming out right. She tried that night letting Tony know, but he was too wrapped up in his speech.
The following day, Angela was able to leave work early, giving her mother some excuse that she had to do an errand for the wedding. She headed into her doctor's office and was soon called in. They did a blood test to confirm the pregnancy as well as an exam. The doctor was pretty confident that with her symptoms plus the pregnancy test results that she was in fact pregnant. He told her to start taking prenatal vitamins just in case and that she could call in two days to get the results. She wasn't sure how she was going to make it through the next two days, but figured with the wedding and the funeral preparations, she could find a few ways to be distracted.
The next two days dragged by for Angela. Tony was barely around, between his school work and his speech for the funeral, he was missing in action for most of the day and evening. Angela did her best to go about things at work and home like nothing had changed. The only one who suspected anything was Mona. She confronted her on the day she was supposed to call for the results, the day before the funeral.
"Angela… Angela… Angela!" shouted Mona as tried to get Angela's attention.
"What Mother? You don't have to scream! What is it?" asked Angela as she looked at her watch for the hundredth time today.
"You have been distracted all day… actually all week since Tony found out about Joey. Are you okay?" asked Mona.
"Yes I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind. The funeral tomorrow and the wedding next week. I'm worried about Tony when I… when he has to deal with so much big change in such a short period of time. You know he doesn't do well with change…" said Angela.
"Look… Tony will be fine eventually. Death is a part of life. A wedding is a part of life. He will adjust to any changes that come his way… the ones he is expecting and maybe the ones that no one saw coming…" said Mona with a mischievous smile. Angela's shocked expression was all the confirmation Mona needed that her suspicions these past few weeks were in fact correct.
"Mother… how did you…" Angela started as Mona interrupted.
"Call it Mother's intuition! Tony will be over the moon once you tell him Angela! Expected or not, he will be thrilled" she said.
"Thank you Mother. I needed to hear that…" she said as she stood up and hugged Mona. For the rest of the day, Angela busied herself with work until it was time to call for the results. With shaky hands, she dialed her doctor's number and waited for them to pick up.
"Hi this is Angela Bower and I am calling for my pregnancy test results… yes… oh thank you! Yes I will… two weeks I will make that appointment. Thank you!" she said as she hung up the phone, tears of joy streaming down her face. She spent the train ride home trying to figure out the best time and way to tell Tony. She thought after the funeral tomorrow when they got home she would take him out to the swing in the backyard and tell him with the pregnancy tests.
The next morning, Angela felt the first signs of true morning sickness. She didn't know how she hid getting sick from Tony but she managed to and get herself ready for the funeral. She grabbed herself a ginger ale and some saltine crackers that she hid in her purse as she, Tony and Samantha headed out the door.
Once the funeral began, Angela felt the nausea kick up again. She managed to keep herself together through Father Marconi's speech. When Tony was asked to get up to speak, it was all she could do to not throw up right then and there. Tony walked up to the podium and settled himself before speaking.
"Hello… our friend, Joey Castellucci, we are here for him in death as he was always there for for us in life…" said Tony. Mrs. Rossini started crying, which while was endearing, was starting to give Angela a headache.
"If your car broke down, Joey C. was there. If you needed a couple of bucks, Joey was there. If you had the sudden urge to polka, Joey was there…" he said.
Angela couldn't believe Mrs. Rossini chose now to talk about her famous dip. It was annoying, inappropriate and making her morning sickness even worse.
"It's unbelievable because one minute we're at a party having a great time ya know… Joey and Bobby Governale were playing dueling banjos… on the accordion… the next minute, Joey's playing the harp…" said Tony.
By this time, Angela had had it with Mrs. Rossini's talk about food, the nausea threatening to overcome her, when she snapped and yelled at her in front of everyone. Thankfully no one seemed to notice as the service went on.
"Ya know… when something this sudden happens, it makes you stop and think about how fragile life is… how temporary… how that could just as easily be… me… I mean after all, we're the same age. Wait a minute… I'm actually two months older than him! Yet he's laying there and I'm standing here! But, but for how long? I mean my life could end like that! Father! Is it getting a little stuffy in here Father? Angela!" he shouted.
Both Angela and Samantha came over to Tony as he started to step down from the podium.
"Are you okay?" asked Samantha.
"Oh yeah I'm fine… ah! He's alive!" shouted Tony as Father Marconi shut the casket, which sounded the chords of the accordion.
"Well at least he's on key!" said Tony as Angela and Samantha led him out of the service. Tony was still coming close to a panic attack at the burial and all the way home from Brooklyn. Angela's plans of telling Tony when they got home went straight out the window as her only focus was on making sure Tony didn't have a nervous breakdown.
The next morning, Angela woke up to an empty bed. Tony was nowhere in site. She started to get up and ready for the day, when morning sickness took hold again. She barely made it to the bathroom in time. She was again thankful that Tony wasn't around. She cleaned herself up and when she was feeling up to it, headed downstairs. Tony's jeep was gone, which didn't alarm her too much, until it was almost dinner time and he still hadn't surfaced. She asked the family if they knew where he was, which no one did; neither did Mrs. Rossini, Philly, or the dozens of other people she frantically called. Her final call was to Vinny.
"Vinny… he has been missing all day. If you see him, please tell him to call home. I'm really worried… no Vinny… the idea of another woman never crossed my mind… but thank you for planting that seed…" she said as she hung up the phone.
"It's not like Dad to disappear without calling or leaving a note" said Samantha as Mona walked into the room.
"I'm sure Tony's fine" said Jonathan.
"Well I'm not sure. Ever since the funeral, he's been in his own little world" said Angela with worry in her voice.
"Which apparently doesn't have a kitchen. Where my dinner?" said Mona.
"Please, please! This is serious! Who knows what could have happened! I've never seen Tony this depressed" said Angela. Just then, Tony walked through the door singing loudly to himself.
"He's back! He's happy! Let's eat!" said Mona.
"Tony! Where have you been? We've all been worrying about you!" shouted Angela.
"I'm sorry Angela. I'm sorry guys. I must have lost track of the time. I mean… I was driving around the old neighborhood where me and Joey used to hang out… and all of a sudden, I see this billboard and it said 'Seize the Day!' Just then I knew what I had to do… it was like some sort of… of a sign!" said Tony.
"It was a sign…" said Mona, looking at him like he was a complete idiot.
"That's right… it said take that chance! Seize the day because tomorrow isn't a given! You can't put off the things you really want to do because that day may never come! So I made a list… a bucket list of things I want to do before the wedding! C'mon what do you say?" said Tony as he handed Angela his list.
"I've got to study for an exam" said Jonathan.
"I have a date…" said Samantha.
"I just want my dinner…" said Mona.
"It's always something isn't it. Okay fine… you want stay here and let life pass you by? So be it! But not this guy! I'm not putting my life on hold anymore!" shouted Tony as he stormed into the kitchen.
"I am so ashamed of us. For the first time since Joey's funeral, Tony is showing some spark of life and how to do we respond? We just want our dinner…" said Angela.
"Yes!" shouted Mona.
"Well do what you want but I for one am going to be there for Tony…" said Angela.
"You're right… I think Dad really needs his family around him and… I can cancel my date with Pierce" said Samantha.
"What the hey! I can study and be around!" said Jonathan. The family all gathered around Mona and gave her a stare until she finally caved.
"Trapped like a rat!" she said.
"So what's on his list?" asked Jonathan.
"I didn't even look. Alright let's see… sky diving… sky diving! Is he insane? Oh my god… doing improv comedy, get a third tattoo, find the best slice of pizza, go skiing on the advanced hill, go to the top of the Empire State Building, ride the Cyclone in Coney Island…" said Angela as she continued to rattle off his bucket list.
"He wants to do all of these things in less than a week? Dream on!" said Mona.
"Yeah half of those things would take a whole year or more to achieve! He could barely master the bunny hill when we went skiing a few years ago! The advanced hill would have him breaking his neck!" said Samantha.
"I know, I know but he really wants to do these things. Some he doesn't have the time or money to do but I think a lot of them we can squeeze in! C'mon what do you say?" Angela asked as she begged for the family's help. Reluctantly, they all agreed to help.
By the following day, Angela had researched where they could do some of the things on his bucket list. The family took a ride down to Coney Island. They found a tattoo parlor on the boardwalk where Tony could get his third tattoo. He was torn between another cartoon character and his lucky jersey number from the Cards. When Angela went to use the bathroom, Mona hit him over the head and told him he should get Angela's name in a heart or the very least their initials. He agreed and got a small tattoo on his shoulder blade with T and A in a red heart.
Next, they walked the boardwalk until they came to the Cyclone rollercoaster. Tony tried to convince the whole family to go. Angela and Mona gave each other a quick glance.
"Fat chance Tony! Angela and I will stay out of this one. This has young and stupid written all over it so it makes sense the three of you should go…" said Mona.
Tony paid for Samantha and Jonathan's tickets and headed on the ride. Samantha and Jonathan had a blast and came running off the ride, wanting to go again. Tony on the other hand, was a shade of pale green and had to sit down for ten minutes while Angela rubbed his back as he sipped a ginger ale Angela had somehow thought to bring for him.
Finally, they drove a few blocks over to a pizzeria that was known for their famous pizza, a place called Spumoni Gardens. Tony was finally starting to feel hungry again. They ordered the specialty pizza and had spumoni for dessert. Tony wasn't sure if it was the best pizza ever, but it certainly was the best he ever had, followed closely by the best spumoni dessert.
The next few days, in between getting the final arrangements completed for the wedding, Tony met Angela for her last day of work so they could head to the top of the Empire State Building. Angela thought it would be the perfect time to let Tony know she was pregnant, but once they got to the top and looked out, Angela's fear of heights kicked in, causing her to nearly panic. Her nerves and stomach were a mess the rest of the night.
The day before the wedding came and Tony's last item on his bucket list that could be achieved, sky diving, was scheduled. Angela found a place out on Long Island, New York, that did skydiving. Tony tried to get everyone to go but he couldn't convince anyone to join him. In fact, while she signed him up and paid for the jump, she knew she couldn't handle watching him and decided to stay home and rest for the wedding.
"Please be careful sweetheart! I love you so much!" she said as she started to cry.
"Hey, hey! It's okay! I love you too! I'm gonna be fine and then tomorrow you're gonna make me the happiest man alive! I'm going to send your present over tomorrow right before the wedding. I can't wait to see your reaction!" said Tony as he wrapped his arms around Angela.
"I can't wait to see your reaction to my gift…" said Angela as she looked back up into his eyes.
"Angela! You didn't have to get me anything!" he said.
"Just promise me that you'll be honest with yourself and me when you open it okay? Okay sweetheart you need to go if you will make it on time. Please be safe! I hope this is what you are looking for…" she said as she kissed him goodbye.
Mona, Samantha, Jonathan and Tony arrived at the small airport. Tony was given a brief rundown of the flight and procedures of a tandem jump. He put on the jumpsuit and was strapped in to the harness. Just as he was about to get on the plane, he froze.
"What am I doing? I mean I could have killed myself jumping out of that plane! And for what? What have I been thinking? What could I have been doing here?" he asked.
"Trying to cram a lifetime of memories into every minute! One thrill after another!" said Mona.
"Exactly, exactly! I keep thinking it's going to satisfy something in here but it doesn't!" he shouted.
"Dad you can not get fulfillment chasing after cheap thrills!" said Samantha.
"Lord knows I've tried… what you are looking for is something more permanent!" said Mona.
"Yeah! Permanent! That's right Mona! But, but what? I mean like a hobby, a job? Nah… I guess I'll just have to keep on searching…" said Tony.
"Well why don't you start at home… remember your fiancé?" asked Mona.
"What do you mean? Angela?" asked Tony.
"Yes! The answer has been right in front of you all along… at least she was until she couldn't stomach seeing you almost kill yourself. She planned this whole bucket list and has been getting everything ready this week for your wedding" said Mona.
"Wait a minute! Angela and I are already engaged! We are getting married tomorrow!" said Tony.
"Well obviously that is not permanent enough for you! You are looking for something more, a deeper way to connect to her that will bind you together forever. The way only a couple can be bonded…" she said as she pushed Jonathan and Samantha towards him.
"Well what's more permanent than… oh…" said Tony as the realization of what Mona was saying finally hit him.
"Dad… take the real plunge!" said Samantha.
"Yes and then maybe you won't have to throw yourself out of a perfectly good airplane to find happiness!" said Mona.
"You mean… you mean… have a baby?" he asked, the idea both terrifying and exciting him at the same time.
"Absolutely!" shouted Mona.
"It may not be my place to say anything but… wait a minute! I'm her son! I can say anything I want! And I say you love her, have a baby with her! Finally I'll get to boss someone else around for once!" said Jonathan.
"You're right Jonathan! You're all right! It's been right in front of me the whole time! She… she's planned this whole thing for me! She supported me through all this craziness! She's been patient and loving for seven long years!" he said.
"So… what are you going to do about it?" asked Mona.
"I'm going to go home, where I should have been all along this week and I'm going to wrap my arms around her and I'm going tell her we should have a baby!" said Tony as the family all congratulated him for finally coming to his senses.
"Wait Dad! You can't do that! By the time we get home it will be too late and you can't see the bride the day of the wedding!" said Samantha.
"You're right Samantha! Then I'll have to do it tomorrow after the ceremony. I can't wait!" he said as the family waited for Tony to return all the skydiving equipment. They headed back home, arriving just after midnight. Mona and Samantha headed into the house as Tony and Jonathan headed into Mona's apartment. For the first time in over a week, true happiness filled Tony's heart as he thought about his bright, new future with Angela.
To be continued…